1. Ugh! Ew!
Copy !req
2. Wow, slow night.
Copy !req
3. Are you as bored as I am?
Copy !req
4. I was as bored as you.
Copy !req
5. Then you showed up
and now I'm even more bored.
Copy !req
6. The most fun I've had all night
Copy !req
7. was cleaning out the lint trap
in the laundry room.
Copy !req
8. Wow.
Copy !req
9. Next time, can I watch?
Copy !req
10. Europe is to the left.
Copy !req
11. Things just got slightly less boring.
Copy !req
12. That was awesome!
Copy !req
13. We have to go tell Mr. Moseby.
- Are you kidding?
Copy !req
14. He didn't even believe me when I told
him the men's room is out of soap.
Copy !req
15. Maybe because you never use soap.
Copy !req
16. - Now let's get out of here.
- Gentlemen.
Copy !req
17. I'm afraid I can't let you go
after what you've just seen.
Copy !req
18. I didn't see a thing.
I was too busy tying my shoe.
Copy !req
19. I was helping him.
Copy !req
20. No, really. The loops confuse him.
Copy !req
21. So we won't say a thing.
But just between us, are you a spy?
Copy !req
22. Yes, I work for the NSA.
Copy !req
23. My name is Smith, James Smith.
Copy !req
24. But you can call me Smitty or J-dog.
Copy !req
25. Okay, J-dog. Well, clearly you
have a license to kill
Copy !req
26. or at least a learner's permit.
So we'll just be on our way. Cheerio.
Copy !req
27. - Hold it!
- Aah! A laser pen!
Copy !req
28. No, it's just a pen.
Copy !req
29. I need you both to sign this
confidentiality agreement.
Copy !req
30. Okie-doke.
Copy !req
31. Oh, wait, right here
it says, "In the event of a dispute,
Copy !req
32. an arbiter shall be
chosen by a third party—"
Copy !req
33. It may just be a regular pen,
but I could still jab you with it.
Copy !req
34. "Cody Martin."
Copy !req
35. Ooh, Mr. Smith, that prune whiz
went bad weeks ago.
Copy !req
36. Don't worry. I'm sure it's part
of his spy training
Copy !req
37. to become impervious to any
potentially poisonous substance.
Copy !req
38. True. Unfortunately,
I was absent that day.
Copy !req
39. I was— Bathroom!
Copy !req
40. That's the ladies restroom.
Copy !req
41. Don't care!
Copy !req
42. Mr. Moseby, there's a spy on the ship.
Copy !req
43. and he got rid of another spy
by tossing him overboard.
Copy !req
44. but don't tell him we told you because
we signed our names
Copy !req
45. to a confidentiality agreement.
Copy !req
46. - Actually, I signed Mr. Moseby's name.
- Good thinking.
Copy !req
47. A spy, huh? Is this like the time
you were being chased by a leprechaun?
Copy !req
48. - You have to admit that guy was short.
- And green.
Copy !req
49. He was a seasick little person.
Copy !req
50. How do you explain the pot of gold?
Copy !req
51. He was delivering London's allowance.
Copy !req
52. But that has nothing to do with this.
Copy !req
53. Zip it. Just go away.
Copy !req
54. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a real
problem to deal with on the lido deck.
Copy !req
55. Someone spotted a unicorn.
Copy !req
56. It's Agent Smith.
Copy !req
57. He's in my cabin
and he wants to talk to us.
Copy !req
58. Well, how do you know
it's really from a spy?
Copy !req
59. Because it says, "This message will
self-destruct in five seconds."
Copy !req
60. - That's ridiculous.
Copy !req
61. There's no way he can
make a text message explo—
Copy !req
62. I still don't think
we should go meet this guy.
Copy !req
63. Come on, there's nothing to be scared of.
Copy !req
64. I told you that outfit was ugly.
Copy !req
65. Hey, guys. What's going on?
Copy !req
66. Nothing.
Copy !req
67. He's lying.
Copy !req
68. Why would you say that?
Copy !req
69. When he lies, his nose crinkles. Watch.
Copy !req
70. Cody, how tall are you?
Copy !req
71. 5'11".
Copy !req
72. I rest my case.
Copy !req
73. Okay, it's settled.
Cody's a short liar. Let's go!
Copy !req
74. Cody, I can't believe this.
Copy !req
75. We're in a committed relationship
and you're keeping secrets from me?
Copy !req
76. You should so break up with him.
Copy !req
77. Put it in an e-mail. We gotta go.
Copy !req
78. Bailey, you and I have no secrets.
Copy !req
79. I'm an open book. I'll tell you anything
you wanna know.
Copy !req
80. So what are you doing?
Copy !req
81. Going to Zack's room for a top secret
meeting with an international spy.
Copy !req
82. Fine, don't tell me.
Copy !req
83. But my nose didn't even crinkle.
Copy !req
84. She's so gonna break up with you.
Copy !req
85. He's not here. See you later.
Copy !req
86. Sounds like he's roughing somebody up.
Copy !req
87. Probably someone who broke their
confidentiality agreement.
Copy !req
88. Whoa! What are you doing in there,
raising ponies?
Copy !req
89. I have survived killer agents,
Copy !req
90. ninja assassins and even a penguin
with a machine gun.
Copy !req
91. But you two boys brought me to my knees
with one bad prune whiz.
Copy !req
92. Don't hurt me with your
super spy poison spray!
Copy !req
93. It's air freshener.
Copy !req
94. Still, stop. The chlorofluorocarbons
are bad for the environment.
Copy !req
95. What I released in there is worse
for the environment.
Copy !req
96. He's got a point.
Copy !req
97. Look, I can't get more
than five feet away from this toilet.
Copy !req
98. and by the way, you have an excellent
selection of comic books.
Copy !req
99. Thanks. Reading is my passion.
Copy !req
100. Anyway, I need you to go to the party
in the piano lounge tonight
Copy !req
101. and rendezvous with my contact—
Red Finger.
Copy !req
102. Ooh, cool code name.
Copy !req
103. Is she a former soviet spy?
Copy !req
104. No, she jammer her finger in a door.
it turned bright red and stayed that way.
Copy !req
105. I need you to get a microchip from her.
Copy !req
106. - What's on the microchip?
- None of your beeswax.
Copy !req
107. Suffice to say, it could save mankind.
Copy !req
108. We're on it. We're great at being sneaky.
Copy !req
109. I'm not, and I'm not doing it.
Copy !req
110. You'll do it or I'll—
Copy !req
111. I'll tell you what I'll do
when I get back. Oh!
Copy !req
112. Cody.
Copy !req
113. This is the opportunity of a lifetime.
Copy !req
114. To do what, die?
Copy !req
115. No, to have an adventure.
Copy !req
116. Look, all your life you've played it safe.
Copy !req
117. You didn't take the training
wheels off your bike until you were 13.
Copy !req
118. And even when you did,
Copy !req
119. you only took one off so
you could only turn right.
Copy !req
120. You wore your retainer for three years
after the orthodontist said you can stop.
Copy !req
121. You still take baths because you're
afraid you're gonna slip in the shower.
Copy !req
122. Live, Cody, live!
Copy !req
123. You know what? You're right.
Copy !req
124. Tonight I shower.
But I'm not becoming a spy.
Copy !req
125. - You'll be Bailey's hero.
- I'm in.
Copy !req
126. - He's in.
- Good.
Copy !req
127. Okay, when you approach Red Finger,
you must say this exactly.
Copy !req
128. "What crew threw the true blue goo
that flew into my shoe?"
Copy !req
129. Memorize those words
and then eat the paper.
Copy !req
130. Yeah, I'd rather not.
Copy !req
131. Nougat!
Copy !req
132. Okay, remember, we're looking
for a woman with a Red Finger.
Copy !req
133. Ow!
Copy !req
134. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
135. I do not remember hiring
you to work this party.
Copy !req
136. Yes, you did.
Copy !req
137. No, I didn't.
Copy !req
138. We're spies, not jedi.
Copy !req
139. Oh, that busboy just shoved
a shrimp into his pocket.
Copy !req
140. I saw that, Francois.
Copy !req
141. I don't see Red Finger.
Copy !req
142. We have to get these women
to show us their hands.
Copy !req
143. Nougat!
Copy !req
144. I have an idea.
Copy !req
145. London, we need your help.
Copy !req
146. - I don't help people.
- London.
Copy !req
147. You will help us.
Copy !req
148. I will help you.
Copy !req
149. I am Madame Tipton,
the fortuneteller.
Copy !req
150. And let me tell you,
I'm worth a fortune.
Copy !req
151. Now take off your gloves
so she can read your palms.
Copy !req
152. - What do you see?
- Skin like a crocodile.
Copy !req
153. I see a lot of moisturizer in your future.
Copy !req
154. It's not her.
Copy !req
155. Hey, want your fortune read?
Copy !req
156. - All right, here.
Copy !req
157. Just trying to speed up the process.
Copy !req
158. It's not Red Finger. Move on.
Copy !req
159. She sees a journey in your future.
Copy !req
160. Wow, I am good!
Copy !req
161. We're never going to find her.
Copy !req
162. I'd like my palm read.
Copy !req
163. Oh, good. Then it'll match your finger.
Copy !req
164. It's her.
Copy !req
165. Excuse me, miss.
Copy !req
166. Can we talk to you for a second?
Copy !req
167. No.
Copy !req
168. Say the code. Where's the code?
Copy !req
169. There you are.
Copy !req
170. You said you had to
write a paper for school,
Copy !req
171. and instead you're here partying?
Copy !req
172. I'm not partying.
Copy !req
173. I'm on a top secret mission
that could save the world.
Copy !req
174. I haven't heard a lie that big
Copy !req
175. since Zieg Miller said
his pig was a piano virtuoso.
Copy !req
176. I mean, he was okay.
I wouldn't call him a virtuoso.
Copy !req
177. Hello, Red Finger's leaving. Come on.
Copy !req
178. Oh!
Let me tell you your fortune.
Copy !req
179. - What?
Your life line.
Copy !req
180. - What, is it short?
- No, long.
Copy !req
181. I was hoping to get my own room.
Copy !req
182. Um, "What crew threw the true blue goo
Copy !req
183. that flew in the... Kangaroo poo?"
Copy !req
184. I think it's "kazoo."
Copy !req
185. I think I'm leaving.
Copy !req
186. Look, it's been a long day.
Copy !req
187. This tux is itchy, I had to hire
a fortuneteller,
Copy !req
188. and they're all out
of those miniature hot dogs.
Copy !req
189. Are you the babe
with the microchip or not?
Copy !req
190. Shh!
Copy !req
191. Fine, I'm Red Finger.
Copy !req
192. I just wasn't expecting
my contact to be so—
Copy !req
193. - Handsome?
- Dashing?
Copy !req
194. Awkward and pimply.
Copy !req
195. Well, you're one to talk
about skin problems, Mrs. Red Finger.
Copy !req
196. - So you have the microchip or not?
- Here.
Copy !req
197. - Don't touch the finger.
- She almost touched my nose with it.
Copy !req
198. Hello, Mr. Smith?
Copy !req
199. - J-dog?
Just a second.
Copy !req
200. Okay, the spray's not working.
Crack a porthole.
Copy !req
201. We got something that'll
make you feel better.
Copy !req
202. - We secured the microchip.
- Oh, excellent.
Copy !req
203. You have secret compartments
in your shoes?
Copy !req
204. Just this one.
This other one is a hair dryer.
Copy !req
205. Now I need you to do one more thing.
Copy !req
206. - Rendezvous with a submarine?
- Infiltrate a Swiss bank?
Copy !req
207. Get me more toilet paper.
Copy !req
208. I'll be in the little spies' room.
Copy !req
209. You know, Zack, this really was
exhilarating.
Copy !req
210. - I'm glad I let you talk me into it.
- What the—?
Copy !req
211. I hate you! I hate you!
Copy !req
212. - I hate you! I hate you!
- Excuse me, sir.
Copy !req
213. Can you tape his mouth shut, please?
Copy !req
214. I really hate you.
Copy !req
215. We gotta get out of here.
Copy !req
216. Okay, this isn't working.
Copy !req
217. Wait, I think I can reach your phone
from your back pocket.
Copy !req
218. I got it. I got it! Here, take it.
Copy !req
219. - Ooh...
Copy !req
220. - Got it.
- Okay, call Bailey.
Copy !req
221. Oh! I'm out of minutes.
Copy !req
222. - I'll just have to send her a text.
- Great idea.
Copy !req
223. - How's it coming?
Okay, I think.
Copy !req
224. I want Bailey to know
that it's natural for a relationship
Copy !req
225. to suffer its ups and downs.
Copy !req
226. - There are going to be some high points—
- Just type "Help."
Copy !req
227. I still can't believe
Cody isn't telling me the truth.
Copy !req
228. I mean, the single most important thing
in a relationship is trust.
Copy !req
229. You should so break up with him.
Copy !req
230. Oh, that's Cody texting me now.
This better be an apology.
Copy !req
231. "DearBuley... I famub kakinka
bubba dobba dock."
Copy !req
232. What is that, Swedish?
Copy !req
233. No, it's gibberish.
Copy !req
234. I've never been to Gibber. Is it nice?
Copy !req
235. Yes, the clouds are made of cotton candy
and the plants are made of bubble gum.
Copy !req
236. Can the boat stop there?
Copy !req
237. Yours will.
Copy !req
238. - Make it simple.
- I don't know, you're—
Copy !req
239. Someone's coming!
- Maybe it's Bailey.
Copy !req
240. It's Red Finger!
- Oh, thank goodness.
Copy !req
241. - We were grabbed by a couple of goons.
- Goons?
Copy !req
242. You are aware that we kids have
appropriated the phrase "goon"
Copy !req
243. and turned it into a positive.
Copy !req
244. As in, "What up, my goon?" or
"that car is totally gooned out."
Copy !req
245. - Shut up!
- Yes, ma'am.
Copy !req
246. When I spoke to headquarters, they told me
my contact was fished out of the sea
Copy !req
247. by a Russian trawler.
Copy !req
248. Oh, maybe that was the guy Smith
threw overboard.
Copy !req
249. You think?
Copy !req
250. Smith!
Copy !req
251. You're working for Smith?
Copy !req
252. Well, I wouldn't say working for really.
Copy !req
253. More of an unpaid internship type thing.
Copy !req
254. Smith is a bad guy.
Copy !req
255. How do we know you're not the bad guy?
Copy !req
256. After all, you do have a couple of goo—
Good-looking guys working for you.
Copy !req
257. Smith stole the microchip from us.
Copy !req
258. The CIA?
Copy !req
259. Yep, that's her all right. "Finger, Red."
Copy !req
260. Man, I'm so confused.
Copy !req
261. Smith seemed like such a good guy.
Copy !req
262. Well, he's not.
He's a liar-liar-pants-on-fire.
Copy !req
263. Oh, man, not J-dog.
Copy !req
264. Well, he's in my cabin
right now blowing chunks in the toilet.
Copy !req
265. How could you just give
Smith up like that?
Copy !req
266. Anyone can fake an ID
You've done it enough times.
Copy !req
267. There's just something
about her that makes me believe her.
Copy !req
268. Goon, please.
Copy !req
269. - You just think she's gorgeous.
- Oh, really?
Copy !req
270. Because I don't love my nose,
And I have this red finger.
Copy !req
271. Smith is gone!
But he was definitely in there.
Copy !req
272. You have got to get
the microchip back from Smith.
Copy !req
273. The fate of the world depends on it.
Copy !req
274. You can count on us.
Copy !req
275. Well, me anyway.
Copy !req
276. Now go!
Copy !req
277. I can't believe we searched
all night for Mr. Smith
Copy !req
278. - and still couldn't find him.
- Maybe he went overboard.
Copy !req
279. - Maybe he's in disguise.
- Maybe he's in the hot tub.
Copy !req
280. Quick, find his shoes.
Copy !req
281. Found them.
Copy !req
282. That is so bad for the leather and don't
even get me started on the brown socks.
Copy !req
283. London, we need your help.
Copy !req
284. We need to get that guy's shoes off.
Copy !req
285. Tell him you need to read his feet.
Copy !req
286. Great, first hands, now feet?
Copy !req
287. This is more reading
than I've done all year.
Copy !req
288. Greetings, weary traveler.
Copy !req
289. I'm here to tell you your destiny.
Copy !req
290. but first, I must read
the palms of your feet.
Copy !req
291. Don't you mean the palms of my hands?
Copy !req
292. No, I'm in training.
Copy !req
293. I'm starting at the bottom.
Copy !req
294. I got the microchip.
Copy !req
295. - Got it.
- Hey! Hey!
Copy !req
296. Stop! Hey, unhand me. Stop!
Copy !req
297. - Come back here.
- What, no tip?
Copy !req
298. Ow, ow, ow!
Copy !req
299. - Bailey.
- I'm not talking to you.
Copy !req
300. Okay, you don't have to talk to me.
Just hide this microchip.
Copy !req
301. What? What are these marks?
Copy !req
302. Rope burns. I was tied up by the bad guy
with rope that had harsh cotton fibers.
Copy !req
303. You mean that stupid spy story was real?
Copy !req
304. Yes, that's what I've been
trying to tell you.
Copy !req
305. Oh, Cody, I'm so sorry
for not trusting you.
Copy !req
306. It's okay, Bailey.
Copy !req
307. Take this microchip back
to your cabin and hide it.
Copy !req
308. And for your own safety,
promise me you won't look.
Copy !req
309. - I promise and, Cody.
- Yes?
Copy !req
310. You're my hero.
Copy !req
311. Nope!
Copy !req
312. This ship is a boatload of fun.
Copy !req
313. You can play shuffleboard,
ping pong— Oh, just—
Copy !req
314. And tag.
Copy !req
315. Miss Finger, we got
the microchip from Smith.
Copy !req
316. What up, goonizzles?
Copy !req
317. - Give me the chip.
- No!
Copy !req
318. Hello. Nice matching outfits.
Copy !req
319. - Get him.
- No, gentlemen, please. No violence.
Copy !req
320. Really.
Copy !req
321. It's so hard to find
good goons these days.
Copy !req
322. That explains all the broken tables.
Copy !req
323. Now that microchip belongs to me.
Copy !req
324. - He's lying.
- No, she's lying.
Copy !req
325. If the liar says I'm lying,
then I'm not lying.
Copy !req
326. - Unless you're a liar.
- I know you are, but what am I?
Copy !req
327. - Liar says "what?"
- What?
Copy !req
328. Boom!
Copy !req
329. - I win.
- So you two really are spies?
Copy !req
330. I can't believe you two
were actually telling the truth.
Copy !req
331. It was bound to happen sometime.
Copy !req
332. Neither of you
are going to get that microchip
Copy !req
333. because it's someplace safe
where you'll never find it.
Copy !req
334. Hey, guys, about
this top secret microchip—
Copy !req
335. - That's mine.
- No, it's mine.
Copy !req
336. Well, now it's mine!
Copy !req
337. Called it, stepped it,
locked it, no erasies!
Copy !req
338. Darn!
Copy !req
339. Now I will put the microchip in a safe
place until this matter is resolved.
Copy !req
340. Bailey, I asked you
to hold on to that microchip.
Copy !req
341. You put the whole world in jeopardy.
Copy !req
342. Yeah, the world of sandwiches
and tasty summer salads.
Copy !req
343. - Huh?
- Huh?
Copy !req
344. I looked at it on my computer.
It's a recipe for mayonnaise.
Copy !req
345. Correction— Zero-calorie mayonnaise.
Copy !req
346. You said what was on that microchip
Copy !req
347. - "could save mankind."
- Yes,
Copy !req
348. from obesity and dry sandwiches.
Copy !req
349. But the recipe belongs to my company.
Copy !req
350. You said you were with the CIA.
Copy !req
351. Yes, the Condiment Institute of America.
Copy !req
352. And you're with the NSA.
Copy !req
353. National Sandwich Alliance.
Copy !req
354. We could have sold that zero calorie-mayo
for 50 bucks a jar.
Copy !req
355. You kids may not be aware of this,
but that is a lot to pay for mayonnaise.
Copy !req
356. Well, now people are getting it for free.
Copy !req
357. What? Wait. Why?
Copy !req
358. Because I sent the recipe
to my Aunt Myrtle.
Copy !req
359. - And she put it on the web.
- She put it on the internet?
Copy !req
360. Oh, no, no, it's this huge
spider web outside her house
Copy !req
361. where she hangs notes. You know,
"free kittens, tractors for sale."
Copy !req
362. But everyone in town looks at it.
Copy !req
363. So what do we do now?
Copy !req
364. Well, I've been dying to try
the buffet on the lido deck.
Copy !req
365. I'll join you. It'll be nice to have
something going in for a change.
Copy !req
366. Bailey, I can't believe you broke your
promise and looked at that microchip.
Copy !req
367. How can I trust you again?
Copy !req
368. All is forgiven.
Copy !req
369. Nope!
Copy !req