1. Oh, hey. Is Bob here yet?
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2. After being stuck here with you,
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3. I can't wait to have some real guy time.
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4. I'd respond to that insult,
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5. but I'm too busy worrying about
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6. how I'm gonna break the news to Barbara.
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7. Right, yeah.
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8. What news?
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9. About Bailey and me,
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10. that we're practically a couple.
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11. That's not news. That's a fantasy.
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12. The point is Bob and Barbara
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13. are coming to Miami to visit us
for spring break
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14. and I'm going to have
to break Barbara's heart.
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15. No, you don't.
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16. How do I explain this?
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17. Okay, you don't step out of one canoe
until you're firmly in another one.
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18. Preferably, a hotter canoe.
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19. Whose parents are out of town a lot.
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20. Look, even if I were
willing to consider that,
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21. there's no way I can hide the heat
between Bailey and me.
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22. You two wouldn't have heat
If you were in a sauna...
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23. that was on fire...
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24. in a volcano...
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25. on the sun.
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26. Hey, guys.
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27. Well, I'm off to visit
my cousin Cletus's gator farm.
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28. You're not gonna be here this weekend?
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29. Nope, I'll be wrestling gators.
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30. By the way, I'm supposed to tell a friend
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31. my blood type is O-negative.
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32. Dude!
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33. Your old girlfriend is coming.
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34. Your imaginary one is leaving.
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35. You're golden.
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36. - London!
- London: Wow!
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37. You look just like my friend Chelsea!
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38. Same stringy hair, same ugly clothes,
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39. - same bad nose job.
- I am Chelsea.
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40. Chelsea, you look fabulous!
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41. - What are you doing here?
- I wanted to surprise my best friend!
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42. - And get the real dirt.
- On who?
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43. - You.
- Ooh.
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44. See, when you didn't
show up for skiing in Aspen,
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45. some people thought you were dead.
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46. Or worse...
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47. at fat camp!
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48. What?
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49. Clearly, I'm alive, shapely
and living on this beautiful boat.
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50. Yeah, it is nice.
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51. Ooh, and I am dying to see your suite.
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52. I'm sure it's gorgeous.
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53. Actually, it's being vacuumed right now,
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54. Which could take...
How long are you gonna be here?
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55. - Three days.
- Four days.
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56. - Oh.
- Did I mention it's big?
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57. So why don't you go unpack
and I'll come to you?
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58. - London?
- Yeah?
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59. - Yes, Woody?
- That is the most beautiful babe
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60. I have ever laid eyes on.
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61. Does she have any interest in woodworking?
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62. Is that a yes?
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63. Oh, here she comes.
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64. - Hi, Barbara.
- Hi, Cody!
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65. Bob!
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66. - You look great.
- Oh, no, you look great.
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67. Bob, you look fantastic.
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68. Okay, buddy, you can let go now.
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69. Sorry. I'm just so happy to see you.
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70. Oh, gross, looks like
I got a little snot on your shirt.
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71. That's okay. The stripes will hide it.
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72. So you're gonna love the boat.
It's just like the Tipton,
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73. but if you walk out
the front door, you drown.
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74. Still as funny as ever.
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75. Yeah.
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76. So, Barbara,
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77. look I need to talk to you
about something.
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78. What is it, Cody?
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79. Shuffleboard at 3!
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80. Oh, I'll go tell Bob.
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81. Decided not to tell her, huh?
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82. Good move.
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83. No, I just have to find
the right time to tell her.
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84. I mean, she's obviously
still in love with me.
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85. So why haven't you broken up with him yet?
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86. But we just got here.
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87. He's obviously still in love with me.
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88. Well, so am I!
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89. Look, I can't hide our love.
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90. My passion is as fiery as my hair.
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91. - Oh, Bob.
- Oh, Barbara.
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92. Chelsea!
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93. I was just coming up to see you.
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94. - What are you doing here?
- Looking for you.
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95. Those worker people
told me you lived... here.
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96. I don't live here. This is my
shoe closet. Let's go.
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97. Now if this is a closet,
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98. then why are there beds in here?
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99. Because that's where my shoes sleep.
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100. Shh. My pumps are pooped.
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101. Now who's this farm girl in the picture
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102. with the pitchfork and hay in her teeth?
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103. That's Bailey, my shoe-closet maid.
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104. Oh, maybe she could get us some tea.
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105. She only does shoes.
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106. Oh, maybe one of your many
other servants could get us some tea.
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107. - Absolutely.
- Okay.
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108. Someone, I need a servant fast!
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109. Hi.
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110. Woody, what are you doing here?
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111. Well, I'm not here following
your incredibly hot friend
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112. which would be weird.
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113. Great. Then you can be my butler.
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114. Why would I want to do that?
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115. Because Chelsea has fallen
in love with her last four butlers.
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116. Then I live to buttle.
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117. Sorry to keep you waiting,
but I wanted to get you
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118. my best butler Wood... ford.
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119. Woodford's the name.
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120. Buttling is the game.
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121. How may I be of service, madam?
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122. That's a funny accent.
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123. Where are you from?
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124. - Cleveland.
- England! Cleveland, England.
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125. Oh, I think I've been there.
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126. Now...
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127. he seems kind of young.
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128. And I've never seen a butler with braces.
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129. He's a butler prodigy.
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130. When he was a baby,
his first words were "Milk and Sugar?"
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131. Ahem.
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132. I'll get it. Oh, hold that.
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133. He was a butler prodigy?
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134. He peaked early.
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135. Check it out. Chateau Zack!
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136. Sweet.
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137. Now that you're here, the fun can begin.
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138. Yeah, it's gonna get wild up in here!
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139. Crazy! I'm back with my best buddy!
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140. - And I'm with my best buddy!
- Yeah!
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141. - Bob, let's go to the sky deck.
- Oh, okay.
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142. Hey, kooky Cody.
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143. You want to join the spring-breakers
and play toss the egg?
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144. Actually, I'm waiting for someone.
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145. Okay, It'll really crack you up.
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146. So it looks like Cody
took the break-up pretty well.
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147. Well, I haven't exactly
broken up with him yet.
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148. What? You wouldn't tell him today,
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149. You wouldn't tell him last night?
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150. Why are you keeping
our love in the shadows?
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151. I want to proclaim it to the world!
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152. Shh! You do and I
will bend your arm into a pretzel...
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153. Honey bear.
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154. - This has to be done right.
- Bob...
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155. why are you spending so much time
talking to Barbara?
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156. This was supposed to be our time.
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157. Barbara, why don't you go talk to Cody?
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158. Yeah, Barbara,
why don't you go talk to Cody?
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159. Okay, okay.
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160. Hey, kids, wanna play an egg-cellent game?
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161. Who's perky Polly?
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162. This is Connie, our activities director.
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163. It's not activities director.
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164. It's chief of fun-tertainment.
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165. - Is that your official title?
- Yeah!
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166. Isn't it fun-tastic?
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167. Cody, we need to talk.
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168. Yeah, we do.
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169. About our relationship...
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170. Can I help you?
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171. Uh, no. Just wanted to get
a better view of the egg tossing.
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172. It's gripping.
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173. Look, let's face it.
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174. When people are away
from each other, things happen.
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175. They grow apart, become close
to new people.
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176. - You know?
- Know what?
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177. That Bob and I are dating.
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178. You're what?
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179. When did this little
love connection happen?
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180. Remember the day you left
Boston on the ship?
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181. - Yeah.
- That night.
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182. Look, we never meant to hurt you.
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183. Pfft. Hurt? Me?
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184. I'm not hurt.
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185. Maybe I'd be hurt If I didn't...
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186. already have a girlfriend on the ship.
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187. You have a girlfriend?
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188. - Oh, he's not gonna.
- Yeah, her name is Bailey.
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189. Yep, he's gonna.
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190. Well, you never mentioned any Bailey.
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191. Well, you never mentioned my "pal" Bob.
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192. Okay, okay,
so I guess we've both moved on.
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193. Yeah, I tried to stay faithful.
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194. But Bailey is gorgeous
and she was all over me.
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195. I'm a man. I'm weak.
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196. Apparently.
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197. I'd love for you to meet her,
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198. but sadly she's away at her
cousin's gator farm.
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199. Hey, guys.
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200. Bailey!
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201. This just got slightly more
fun-tertaining.
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202. Bailey...
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203. what are you doing back
from the gator farm?
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204. Cousin Cletus drank some swamp water
and got Okefenokee fever,
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205. so the authorities came
and gave all the gators to Lizard World.
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206. See you later, alligators.
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207. Wow, Cody, she's really colorful.
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208. Hi, I'm Bailey.
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209. I'm Barbara.
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210. Boy, you guys can sure talk, talk, talk.
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211. But I'm sure you want to get back
to your room and rest
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212. for like a day or two.
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213. Why don't we all do something later?
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214. - Gee, I don't know.
- How about movie night?
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215. Flowers and Chocolate?
Isn't that that Hugh Grant thing?
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216. I'd rather remove my eyebrows
with duct tape.
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217. And I'm sure Bailey's
tired from all that wrestling.
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218. No, I'm not.
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219. And I've been dying to see
Flowers and Chocolate.
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220. It's the sequel to Tears In My Handbag.
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221. Great. So it's settled.
We'll all go together.
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222. Better find some duct tape.
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223. So what's the deal?
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224. I mean, I know why I'm trying
to Impress Chelsea,
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225. but why are you?
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226. Chelsea will ruin my reputation
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227. if she finds out I'm living
with regular people, like you.
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228. She may be my best friend,
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229. but she's also horrible, mean and nasty.
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230. And hot!
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231. There you are, London.
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232. Why are you in here again?
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233. Just picking out my movie shoes.
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234. Oh, wait a minute.
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235. You let your butler sit?
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236. Woodford was not sitting.
He was testing the furniture.
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237. Why?
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238. To make sure It wasn't someone
disguised as a chair
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239. trying to rob her.
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240. Bailey!
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241. Oh, it's the hay girl.
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242. You let your maid wear capri shorts?
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243. That's it!
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244. How many times have I
told you never to wear normal clothes?
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245. - You're fired.
- What?
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246. You've been replaced by Woodford.
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247. - But...
- That's enough! Out you go!
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248. London, open this door right now!
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249. Help these days.
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250. Bunk with Addison for the next two nights
and I'll buy your Grammy a new barn.
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251. - And a silo?
- Yeah, whatever that is.
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252. Ah, looking sharp.
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253. Oops. Forgot to shave.
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254. Gotta look good for movie night.
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255. Done.
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256. Dude, I just can't wrap
my head around this.
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257. You and Barbara?
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258. She's hot.
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259. Barbara's favorite, cinnamon twist.
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260. Whatever happened to the
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261. I'm-never-gonna- be-tied-down Bob?
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262. That was before a girl actually liked me.
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263. Look, I'm telling you,
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264. once you open up
your heart and let love in,
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265. the world just becomes
a beautiful, sunny place.
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266. I don't even know who you are anymore.
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267. So what say you
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268. when the lights go down,
we sneak out of here
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269. and go to the game room for an hour,
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270. then we're back before
Hugh Grant stammers through
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271. his last apology?
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272. Not gonna happen. Barbara's a hand-holder.
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273. I'm really looking forward
to getting to know your
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274. friends from Boston.
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275. Yeah, that's a bad idea.
They're easily offended,
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276. so you probably shouldn't say much.
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277. Hey, film freaks,
It's more fun in the front.
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278. - No, we're just gonna sit right here.
- Seriously, this is my seat
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279. and I've given up enough in my life, go.
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280. - Hey, guys.
- Hi.
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281. Okay, quiet down. Movie's starting.
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282. Wake me when this
nightmare is over.
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283. Ladies and gentlemen,
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284. I present Ms. London Tipton
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285. and Ms. Chelsea Brimmer.
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286. Shh.
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287. Shh yourself!
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288. Escort us to our seats.
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289. Oh, right. Yes, excuse me. Pardon me.
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290. Pardon me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
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291. Oh, sorry. There you go, there you go.
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292. My foot!
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293. Okay.
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294. Woodford, we could use some movie snacks.
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295. Perhaps a crème brulee
and a nice tart Tatin.
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296. Two ice cream sandwiches coming right up.
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297. Excuse me. Oh, pardon me.
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298. - Sorry about that. I said excuse me!
- My foot!
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299. Natasha, don't go.
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300. We can work this out.
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301. It's too late. You betrayed me.
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302. And nothing can ever put it right again.
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303. - But I brought flowers.
Awww.
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304. - And chocolate.
- Kill me now.
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305. Delicious!
- You're lovely.
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306. And delicious.
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307. - Oh, Neil.
- Oh, Natasha.
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308. What are you doing?
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309. You have a piece of dandruff
on your shoulder.
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310. I got it.
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311. Shh. Guys, quiet, quiet, quiet.
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312. Neil got Natasha truffles and roses,
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313. but those were Michelle's favorite.
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314. Well, I can't sleep with all the blabbing
so I might as well watch.
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315. Wait a second. Truffles and roses?
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316. You don't like them?
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317. No, I like pralines and daisies.
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318. Bailey...
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319. could I have a piece of licorice?
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320. Who are these for?
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321. Is there another woman?
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322. Something wrong with your hands?
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323. Uh, my arms fell asleep.
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324. - Tell your girlfriend to keep it down!
- Yeah!
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325. I think Neil is about
to propose to Michelle.
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326. - Girlfriend?
- No, no, Natasha is the girlfriend.
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327. Neil's proposing to Michelle...
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328. the other woman.
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329. You told her I was your girlfriend?
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330. We are not dating.
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331. Are you saying we're over?
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332. Aww.
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333. Over? We never started.
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334. So you made all this up
just to make me jealous?
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335. Aha. You were jealous.
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336. This is so much better than the movie.
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337. Wait. Isn't that the maid you just fired?
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338. I'm not her maid. I'm her roommate.
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339. Gasp!
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340. - You have a roommate?
- Yes, all right, all right.
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341. Look, I live in a shoebox
which I have to share.
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342. I'm a regular student
and I have no servants.
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343. Then who is he?
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344. Just some freak who likes you.
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345. I resent that, madam,
unless you like freaks.
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346. Eww!
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347. I cannot believe you used me like that.
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348. Yeah, and just to make me jealous.
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349. - Men.
- They stink.
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350. - I'm out of here.
- I'm with you, sister.
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351. You see what you did?
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352. - Bob?
- Coming, dear.
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353. Well, Zack, looks like
It's just you and me.
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354. It's just so sad.
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355. I mean, he puts the flowers
and chocolate...
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356. right on her tombstone.
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357. Snuggle with Zack. Snuggle with Zack.
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358. Chelsea, I'm glad I caught
you before you left.
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359. Oh, don't worry. I won't tell anybody
at the Country Club
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360. you're living with regular people.
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361. I'll just say you were abducted by aliens.
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362. No, you can tell them the truth.
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363. My dad is making me go
to this stupid sea school.
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364. Why? Does he hate you?
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365. No. Actually he loves me.
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366. And wants me to become
a mature, responsible adult.
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367. Eww, I feel really sorry for you.
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368. You know what?
I feel really sorry for you.
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369. Because while you waste your life shopping
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370. and jetting off to fashion shows,
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371. I'll be getting an education
and then a real job.
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372. Oh, no, this is awful!
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373. - I'll go with the alien thing.
- You're a true friend.
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374. - Hey, Cody.
- Hey, Bailey.
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375. I see you got my 'sorry' bear.
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376. Yup. Thanks.
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377. And by the way...
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378. if you'd wanted me
to be your girlfriend...
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379. all you had to do was ask.
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380. - Really?
- Sure.
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381. I'd be happy to pretend.
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382. Oh, pretend.
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383. Right. Make believe.
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384. Fun.
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385. See, because If I'd been in on it,
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386. we could have made Barbara really jealous.
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387. - I could've done this:
- Stop it.
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388. - And this:
- I would've pretended to like that.
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389. And to top it off, I could've done this:
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390. That would've fooled her.
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391. Thanks for the 'I'm sorry' bear, Barbara.
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392. You're welcome, Cody.
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393. I should've told you the truth right away.
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394. Thanks for the 'I'm sorry' bear, Bob.
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395. It's just my way of saying I feel bad
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396. that we never got
to spend more time together.
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397. That's okay, buddy.
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398. I understand. People grow apart,
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399. find new interests.
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400. We'll always have throwing water balloons
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401. from the top of the Tipton.
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402. That's right. Good times.
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403. Tissue, sir?
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