1. What's going on?
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2. Guess what huge star is
getting on board our boat.
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3. Ferran Adria, the head chef at El Bulli?
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4. No. Guess again.
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5. Takeru Kobayashi, five-time
world champion hot-dog eater?
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6. Wow, you guys are lousy guessers.
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7. It's Hannah Montana.
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8. She's taking our boat
on the teen cruise to Hawaii.
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9. I wanted to see her perform
in Honolulu, but it's sold out.
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10. Well, it just so happens
I know Hannah Montana.
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11. She once stayed at the Tipton.
She even ate cake off my brother's shirt.
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12. Does he still have the shirt?
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13. Does he still have the cake?
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14. Cody, if you get me tickets,
I'll love you forever.
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15. Forever?
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16. That's a long time.
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17. - Consider it done.
Get back!
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18. International superstar coming through.
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19. Who is it? Who is it?
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20. Right.
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21. Ms. Montana, it is my pleasure
to welcome you...
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22. - I said get back!
- Oh my word! Don't touch me!
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23. Kirby!
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24. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Moseby.
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25. You're so little, I mistook
you for one of those teens.
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26. I was just protecting Hannah.
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27. Protect me!
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28. - Where's Cody?
- Down here.
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29. - Did you see Hannah?
- No.
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30. I'd like to see a chiropractor.
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31. Ow, ow, ow.
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32. So what do you recommend?
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33. Me, with whipped cream.
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34. Thanks, but I'm already nauseous
from the whole boat-rocking thing.
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35. Zack?
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36. You think messing with a man's
botanical rinse is funny?
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37. I think any man who uses
a botanical rinse is funny.
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38. Sorry.
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39. Great, now I have to go
wash, rinse and repeat.
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40. And repeat and repeat.
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41. I've seen you around. I'm Zack.
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42. and I'm... Being hauled away.
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43. Did you do that to his hair?
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44. No, I'm being good, remember?
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45. Did you finish all your science homework?
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46. I said I was being good, not boring.
that's your job.
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47. And you know what your job is going to be?
"Thank you, enjoy the movie.
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48. Thank you. Enjoy the movie."
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49. - Wow!
- Oh!
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50. Your brother thinks you're gonna end up in
a dead-end go-nowhere minimum-wage job?
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51. We have so much in common!
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52. Don't we?
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53. Oh.
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54. Wow, that suitcase sure is roomy!
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55. Yeah, it is. and check this out.
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56. Hello!
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57. That's the same echo I get
from my closet back home!
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58. It's so big it has its own congressman.
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59. Really? Do you want it?
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60. All it's gonna cost you
is a lunch with a charming
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61. handsome young man.
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62. Is he in there too?
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63. No, I was talking about me.
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64. Oh, thank you, but I've already tried
one nut from your family tree.
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65. Oh no! No, believe me,
I'm nothing like my brother.
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66. He thinks he so cool because he wears
clean clothes and showers every day.
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67. Heh heh heh.
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68. And that's why the cat won't lick you...
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69. Even when you're covered in chicken liver.
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70. No, you can't meet Hannah Montana!
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71. She's busy... writing a song.
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72. Check that! She's eating a salad.
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73. Dang, anything she does causes a riot.
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74. You know, when I agreed
to come on this teen cruise,
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75. I thought it would be fun.
I thought it would be relaxing.
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76. I just forgot about all the dang...
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77. I got it!
I got a picture of Hannah Montana!
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78. Teens!
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79. Yeah, what's the matter with kids today?
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80. Get back!
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81. Oww!
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82. Hi, Kirby. I'm here to see Hannah Montana.
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83. You and everybody else on this boat,
but no can do.
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84. It's my job to keep that southern
belle from getting dinged.
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85. I'm a close personal friend of hers.
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86. That's what they all say. Prove it...
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87. Tell me something about her no one else
knows.
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88. Uh, she loves knock-knock jokes.
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89. You wanna see? Watch.
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90. - Knock-knock.
Who's there?
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91. Okey-dokey.
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92. Miss Montana, your friend
Cody is here to see you.
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93. I don't know a Cody. Here's a picture.
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94. Uh, but I don't want a picture.
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95. I say we take off our wigs
and go out there and hit the wave pool.
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96. Oh yeah, I'll just come in
as Hannah and leave as Miley.
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97. That won't give away anything.
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98. Well, I'm going out there because
nobody cares about Lola.
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99. They care about Lola!
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100. Morning, ladies. Ahh, perfect.
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101. Just what I need after the stress of
saving those dolphins from the tuna nets.
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102. Just get in. Get in, get in, get in.
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103. What are we getting in?
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104. Trouble, if you don't zip it.
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105. I'm sick of Justin's attitude
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106. so I put a little surprise in the hot tub
for him.
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107. Hold on!
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108. Alex, that's classic,
but you're not supposed to use...
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109. Science? I earned this in class.
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110. Who knew school would ever come in handy?
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111. Oh man, Justin's going to be so mad.
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112. Look, his face is turning red,
his body's blue,
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113. stick a few stars on him and we could fly
him off the back of the boat.
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114. I'm not scared of Justin.
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115. Oh, my heavens!
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116. When I find out who did this,
I will feed them to the sharks.
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117. except for their head
so they can watch the whole thing.
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118. Him I'm scared of.
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119. I know exactly who's gonna be shark bait.
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120. - As do I... Zack.
- Alex.
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121. - Alex? What?
- Zack? What?
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122. This was Alex. I know my sister.
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123. Oh, this was Zack. I know my hooligan.
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124. - But...
- Look, this is getting us nowhere.
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125. We can either go out and find who did this
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126. or we can here and argue
until we're blue in the face.
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127. Oh...
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128. Might as well. I'm already blue
in the everywhere else!
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129. Alex!
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130. Zack!
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131. - Hi.
- Oh, Zack!
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132. Is this your cabin? Let's check it out.
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133. Thank you!
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134. - Wow.
- You like my place, huh?
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135. Like it? I can't see it.
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136. Ugh, and that stench
is making my eyes tear up.
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137. Blink fast. It helps.
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138. Aha.
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139. Zack!
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140. - I'll go get rid of him.
- Okay, you do that. I'm gonna hide...
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141. Or... tidy things up. Yes.
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142. Oh, that's disgusting!
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143. You!
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144. - I didn't do it.
- Oh, yes, you did!
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145. I swear I didn't.
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146. By the way, what is it that I didn't do?
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147. You put blue dye in the hot tub.
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148. Dye... dye?
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149. No, I've done soap bubbles, pudding,
tea bags, a rubber foot, electric eels,
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150. but no dye. How could I have missed dye?
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151. You didn't! I found this right outside
your door.
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152. I knew it was you.
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153. - But, that's not...
- Your butt is confined to this cabin.
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154. You'll have to entertain
yourself with whatever's in this room.
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155. I think I can make that work.
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156. Ugh, ugh.
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157. London, I need you to call
Hannah Montana for me.
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158. Don't you ever mention that name!
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159. She refused to put the theme song to
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160. Yay, me! starring London Tipton
on her next album.
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161. - Why would you expect Hannah to...
Don't test me, boy.
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162. Look, I told you never to say
Hannah Montana...
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163. I can't believe I said it.
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164. This is impossible.
Either I need a softer coconut
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165. or a harder straw.
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166. Cody?
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167. Sorry.
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168. I couldn't get Bailey tickets.
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169. I guess I'm just going to have
to tell her the truth.
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170. or you can tell her aliens came down
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171. and threatened to disintegrate the Earth
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172. if you didn't give them your
tickets to see Hannah in Hawaii.
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173. Something tells me that
coconut hit you on the head.
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174. Okay, I've been trying to decide how to
wear my hair to the Hannah concert.
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175. I could go with a funky updo, right right?
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176. Or half up, half down,
that's kind of cool, right?
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177. Or... Or the whole
funky-rocker-moshpit thing,
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178. Okay? Like this.
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179. - Yeah?
Bailey?
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180. I know I kind of promised you
I could get you those tickets to Hannah...
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181. I know. Can you believe?
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182. My guy is getting me
tickets to a sold-out concert.
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183. "My guy"?
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184. Yeah, unfortunately there's been
an intergalactic incident...
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185. Enough about your stupid comics.
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186. Bailey's trying to decide how she should
wear her hair to the concert,
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187. which "her guy" is taking her to.
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188. I know! I'll wear it down.
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189. Now I've got to find
a great outfit to go with my hair.
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190. I'll go check London's trash!
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191. You were so home-free
with the alien thing!
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192. Now, what am I supposed to do,
look to the heavens and plead?
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193. I want Hannah Montana tickets in Hawaii!
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194. Want Hannah Montana tickets to Hawaii?
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195. Two tickets to Hannah Montana's concert
in Hawaii
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196. for the winner of our
teen cruise scavenger hunt.
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197. - Did you hear that?
- Darn right, I did!
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198. I want a robot that makes pancakes!
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199. Okay, well, I'm gonna clear out, okay?
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200. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
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201. You can't leave me.
I'll be in solitary confinement.
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202. I'll be forced to dig an escape tunnel
which would wind up sinking the boat.
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203. You should just confess.
You'll feel so much better afterwards
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204. and maybe get out of your room
sooner. Like me right now.
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205. - Okay, bye.
- But I didn't do it!
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206. I'd never pull such a lame prank.
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207. What do you mean "lame"?
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208. It had amateur written all over it.
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209. Are you calling...
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210. Whoever did this an amateur?
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211. That's it!
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212. Lame, amateur... It was Cody!
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213. I bet he's getting back at me
for my brilliant hair prank.
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214. Oh yeah, glue in a brush. Real brilliant.
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215. But I need proof. A witness.
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216. Look, I'm gonna go back to the sky deck
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217. and see if anybody saw
who did this, all right?
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218. Maybe I'll go with you.
I'm a really good interrogator.
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219. Oh, would you...?
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220. Oh...
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221. Hello, London.
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222. I... I brought you a present.
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223. Dirt?
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224. With seeds. The baby flowers
will grow just like our love.
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225. You're odd, but you adore me
and I like that. Have a seat.
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226. Okay, silver bell,
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227. toy train, egg timer...
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228. What idiot puts a swordfish
on a scavenger hunt list?
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229. Oh, no no!
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230. Okay, this scavenger hunt
is out of control.
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231. Some kids just tried to take this yellow
barrette out of my hair.
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232. Thank goodness we already have our tickets
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233. So we don't have to do anything
stupid like this scavenger hunt.
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234. Yeah, phew.
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235. But, you should probably
give us that barrette to keep it safe.
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236. Good idea, thanks.
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237. Yeah, and if you have a... rutabaga,
you should give us that too.
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238. I might have one in my locker.
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239. Then, what are we standing here for?
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240. We have a waxy vegetable to protect.
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241. Okay, you snoop around the hot tub
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242. and I'll go ask your brother
if he saw anything.
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243. No! I'll go ask him because
he's my brother and I love him.
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244. Way too... Whoa!
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245. You say anything about...
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246. My P-R-A-N-K and I will pound you so hard
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247. that you'll be sneezing
out of your belly button.
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248. That's going to be very
awkward during allergy season.
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249. Does this have anything to
do with whatever she was spelling?
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250. London, I'm not allowed to tell you,
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251. but Y-E-S.
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252. Fine, don't tell me.
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253. I found this test tube
outside of Zack's door.
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254. Now, this clearly proves
that he is to blame.
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255. And now, he has escaped from his cabin.
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256. Please, Alex probably planted
that evidence. She's an evil genius.
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257. She's an evil genius? No,
Zack is an evil... Well, he's not a genius.
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258. More of an evil nincompoop.
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259. I'm sorry, ma'am.
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260. I swear I didn't see anything. Ow!
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261. Look, look, I don't even want to see any...
Ow!
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262. Okay, we have the rutabaga.
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263. Now, all I need to win those tickets,
and Bailey's heart, is a silver chalice.
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264. Good luck finding that.
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265. Oh, yeah, you'd better run!
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266. How could you? My own brother! What?
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267. Do they always talk
at the same time like that?
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268. Freaky, isn't it?
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269. How could you frame me?
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270. I don't know what you're talking about.
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271. but I need to find a silver chalice
before the comp...
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272. Attention Hannah fannas,
the scavenger hunt is now over
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273. and we have a winner.
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274. No!
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275. You!
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276. This is the miscreant who turned you blue.
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277. Oh no, it's not. It was her.
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278. Uh... Justin, Mr. Moseby is our host
on this lovely cruise.
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279. And you insult him by arguing with him.
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280. - Come, brother.
- Ah, ah, ah...
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281. Hey!
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282. Wait a minute!
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283. I recognize those word-twisting
manipulations
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284. followed by a hasty exit.
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285. It was you!
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286. Sure, blame me.
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287. Because it was you!
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288. Looks like I caught you blue-handed.
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289. Told you!
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290. You played me like a violin.
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291. You're sneaky, deceitful, underhanded...
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292. Where have you been all my life?
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293. I'll tell you where she's gonna be:
grounded while we're in Hawaii.
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294. Whose got the "blues" now?
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295. Blue-hoo!
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296. Oh, look at the time.
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297. Oh, ho, ho! Mr. Moseby!
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298. Isn't there something that
you'd like to say to me?
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299. Maybe something that rhymes
with "I'm florry?"
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300. First off, let me say
that you are incredibly flannoying.
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301. But, I am sorry that I accused
you of putting dye in the hot tub.
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302. However, in the process you confessed
to six unsolved pranks.
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303. You are so in trouble.
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304. Apology accepted.
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305. Okay.
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306. Cody, isn't Hawaii the most beautiful
thing you've ever seen?
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307. Second-most beautiful.
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308. Bailey, I need to talk to you.
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309. First, I want you to help me
pick which greeting to use
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310. when I meet Hannah Montana.
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311. I could go country, "Howdy, Hannah!"
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312. or sophisticated,
"How do you do, Miss Montana?"
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313. or Japanese, "Konnichiwa, Hannah-san."
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314. They're all great,
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315. except for the fact
that we don't have tickets.
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316. I'm sorry, what?
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317. It sounded like you said
we don't have tickets.
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318. Look, I'm really sorry, Bailey.
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319. I tried everything to get
those tickets for you.
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320. - I thought you knew Hannah.
- She didn't remember me
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321. and Kirby wouldn't let me in
and London couldn't help me,
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322. so I tried to win the scavenger hunt...
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323. Here's your barrette back, by the way...
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324. Then, Zack accused me of framing him...
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325. Ohhh.
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326. What was that for?
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327. To get you to stop babbling.
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328. I need to babble more often.
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329. And because no one's ever gone
through so much trouble for me.
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330. Thank you.
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331. You're welcome.
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332. Hey, guys, want a bite of birthday cake?
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333. - Whose birthday is it?
- I don't know. Some guy.
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334. Whenever I hear singing,
I just go in the room.
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335. Aw, dude, isn't that Hannah Montana
sunbathing on the port-side deck?
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336. Hurry! I hear she's, like,
totally signing autographs.
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337. I am so over this teen cruise.
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338. My cake!
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339. Maybe there's still
some left at the party.
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340. Thank you, Mr. Moseby.
Thanks for clearing out the lobby.
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341. Oh, absolutely. Enjoy the starboard deck.
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342. Oh, is that where they have the wave pool?
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343. Ooh, and the rock-climbing wall?
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344. - And the parasailing?
- Oh, yes, it's a month of fun.
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345. Unfortunately you have about
five minutes until they realize
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346. you're not sunbathing on the port deck
and start hunting you down
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347. like angry fire ants...
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348. Hannah, Hannah, Hannah!
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349. Enjoy.
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350. You're... You're... You're... Konnichiwa!
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351. with the hair!
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352. Bless you. Hey!
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353. Now, I remember you.
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354. I ate cake off you.
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355. No, that was actually my twin brother.
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356. I was the cute one standing next to him.
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357. Oh, and you kept the shirt.
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358. - My fans are awesome.
- Yeah, you're telling me.
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359. Remember that one who sent you like
a corncob carving of yourself?
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360. You got it?
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361. Yeah, and I loved it.
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362. So...
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363. are you guys coming to my show tonight?
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364. We'd love to, but it was all sold out.
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365. You wouldn't happen to know anyone
who could get us tickets, would you?
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366. Oh, I think I can pull some strings.
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367. Here's the tickets and...
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368. backstage passes... Oh wait, no sorry.
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369. That's my coupon. One more stamp
and I get a free cupcake.
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370. Thank you, thank you. Arigato.
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371. Yeah, I gotta go too.
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372. Cody, this is going to be
the best date ever.
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373. - Date?
- Oh, yeah.
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374. Excuse me a second.
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375. Yes, my six-month plan worked!
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376. - London?
- Hmm?
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377. I've had so much fun
with you these last few days
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378. and there's just one more thing
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379. - that I need to ask you.
- Okay.
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380. You're not going to ask me
to marry you, are you?
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381. No no, I was going to ask
if you wanted a shoeshine.
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382. Oh, then, yes.
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383. You know, Max, no man has ever
treated me as well as you do.
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384. He's not a man, he's a child.
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385. Well, for now.
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386. So you'll wait for me then?
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387. I can't promise that.
But, five years from now
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388. when we're in the same grade,
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389. you can sit next to me.
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390. Yes!
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391. I am never gonna wash this cheek again.
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392. But, if I were you, I'd wash those hands.
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