1. Coming right up,
one "prune madness" for you
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2. and one "super fruity"
for the amazing beauty.
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3. Since when does the help make improper
advances at the passengers?
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4. Since I started working here?
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5. - Daddy, he was just...
- Hush, Olivia.
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6. And you... Uck.
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7. That is so funny.
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8. Every adult gives me the same nickname.
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9. Do you know who you just spoke to?
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10. Uh, the guy sunbathing
in the suit and tie?
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11. Wait, let me guess. The president
of the I-like-to-sweat club.
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12. No, that's Monroe Cabot,
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13. the dean of admissions
at Harvard university.
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14. I'd do anything to make
a great impression on him.
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15. Consider it done. Grab a towel.
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16. Why? What are you going to do?
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17. I'm getting you into Harvard.
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18. Here is your
prune madness. Uh-oh, I'm tripping.
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19. Oh, what the...?
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20. - Of all the...
- Oh, if only someone had a towel!
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21. Uh, right here, sir.
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22. Let me get that for you.
that's a handsome cashmere
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23. so one should dab, not rub.
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24. Thank you, young man.
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25. Not a problem, Mr. Cabot.
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26. It's an honor to be serving a Harvard man.
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27. How do you know who my father is?
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28. I'll handle this, Olivia.
How do you know who I am?
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29. He knows everything there is
to know about Harvard.
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30. Go ahead, Cody. Tell him how many
bricks there are in the Harvard yard.
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31. 81,204.
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32. I went there last summer. Counted 'em.
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33. Going to Harvard is my life's dream.
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34. Well, Harvard can use
bright young men like you.
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35. Thank you, sir.
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36. - And you...
- I know. Uck.
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37. Rise and shine. Shine and rise.
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38. The cows need milking, so open your eyes.
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39. It's 6:00 a.m. Look, why do you always
have to get up so early?
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40. The early bird catches the worm.
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41. Is that what you
farm folk eat for breakfast?
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42. It's an expression. You know like...
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43. "You're as dumb as a post."
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44. I don't get it.
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45. When I asked you to go
to sleep last night,
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46. you stayed on the phone
chit-chatting till all hours.
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47. It was 7:30!
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48. Even the old people were
still awake playing bingo.
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49. That's because they did well in school
and can spell "bingo."
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50. There's only one solution to this problem,
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51. tonight you go sleep in that
big white hammock outside.
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52. - That's a lifeboat.
- I know.
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53. And take your chirpy chicken with ya.
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54. Hey, Olivia. Want some watermelon?
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55. I'd love some, but my daddy says I'm not
supposed to talk to you.
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56. You don't have to talk.
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57. Just sit, eat and spit seeds
into this towel.
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58. Wow, the towel boy must hate you.
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59. Yes.
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60. Mm. This is so sweet.
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61. Well, if you like things that are sweet,
how about a date with me?
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62. I'd love to, but unfortunately
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63. I can only go out with boys
my father approves of.
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64. - So I guess you haven't dated...
- Ever. Never. Never dated.
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65. He wouldn't even let me
have an imaginary boyfriend.
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66. - Really?
- Yeah.
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67. But I had one anyway.
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68. His name was Chad. Go away, Chad.
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69. Well, I know of a way
to have a real boyfriend
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70. yhat your father will approve of.
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71. You're going to become
a boring stick-in-the-mud?
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72. No, not when I can borrow one.
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73. Cody.
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74. But I don't want to date Cody.
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75. Oh, no one does. Just trust me.
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76. I hate Zack. I hate Zack.
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77. - Hi, Zack.
- Hey, buddy.
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78. Look, I really like Olivia so I need you
to pretend to date her.
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79. See, my father won't let me date Zack
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80. because he thinks he's a worthless
good-for-nothing loser.
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81. Your father's an excellent
judge of character.
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82. But my father likes you.
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83. He does? Oh, joy!
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84. So all you need to do is pick up Olivia
and then hand her over to me.
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85. At the end of the date, you take her home.
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86. Why in the world would I do that?
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87. Hello? More face time with Mr. Harvard.
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88. Ah. Good point. I'll do it.
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89. - But how will I explain it to Bailey?
- Who's Bailey?
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90. My brother's secret love. He loves her,
but he keeps it a secret... from her.
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91. You know, I really wish we got tickets
to the earlier show.
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92. At this rate, I won't be
in bed before 10:30
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93. and then I won't be able to wake up early.
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94. Hmm. I did not think of that.
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95. Dumb as a post.
Come on, the show's starting.
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96. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome!
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97. I am Enzo Biscotti, the world's greatest
hypnotist according to Cruise Weekly.
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98. May I have some volunteers
from the audience?
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99. - Oh oh!
- How about this lovely couple?
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100. - Okay!
- What? no.
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101. Come on! It'll be fun.
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102. - Yeah, like dinner with your mother?
- Shh!
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103. Let's hear it for the happy couple!
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104. Okay! I am now going to put you under.
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105. - Are you ready?
- Yes!
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106. - No. Yes.
- Okay.
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107. Just relax.
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108. Focus on the sound of my voice
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109. and only my voice.
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110. You are getting sleepy.
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111. You feel more and more relaxed,
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112. falling deeper and deeper asleep.
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113. And on the count of three,
you will go under.
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114. one... two... three!
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115. You will now act like
the person next to you.
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116. I don't hate your mother.
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117. But if I did, who could blame me?
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118. Now get out of the way.
I'm trying to watch the game.
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119. You pay more
attention to the yankees than me.
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120. that is a ding-dong riot.
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121. That is a ding-dong riot!
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122. And remember, young man,
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123. My daughter's curfew is 10:00.
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124. Glad to hear that, sir.
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125. But I Intend to have her home by 9:30.
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126. 9:15 If there's no traffic
on the fiesta deck.
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127. - Excellent.
- I also took the liberty
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128. of jotting down my cell phone number,
my pager, my email address
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129. and internet link that
will show you where I am
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130. within 50 feet thanks to
a global-positioning system
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131. in my boxers.
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132. Well done. Looking more like
a Harvard man by the minute.
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133. Thank you, sir.
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134. What took you so long?
you're cutting into my babe time.
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135. I'm his babe.
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136. Only until 9:30. Don't forget her curfew.
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137. Hello? Curfew!
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138. Gesundheit!
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139. London, Isn't that my nightgown?
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140. Yes siree!
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141. I hope it's okay I borrowed it.
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142. Don't I look purdy?
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143. Wait a minute.
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144. - Are you making fun of my clothes again?
- Heck, no!
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145. I love your clothing,
especially this nightie.
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146. It's warm and comfortable
and totally unflattering!
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147. What about your
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148. handmade silk pajamas from Paris?
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149. Too flashy.
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150. Now, we better get to bed.
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151. I set the chicken for 5:30.
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152. - A.m.?
- Of course, silly billy.
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153. You know, you've been acting really weird
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154. ever since we went
to that hypnotist's show.
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155. Have not! here, hold this.
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156. What are you doing?
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157. I want to practice my milking.
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158. I want to be just like you.
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159. I'll have a glass for you in a minute.
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160. Oh! I get it.
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161. When that hypnotist said, "Be like the
person next to you,"
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162. you became like me.
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163. You're under post-hypnotic suggestion.
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164. I don't know what that means,
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165. but I do know that piggy and
I have to get up early,
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166. scrub the bathroom, wax the floor
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167. and stop hogging all your closet space.
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168. Now, what were you saying?
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169. - Nothin'.
- Okey-doke. Nighty-night.
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170. Don't let the bedbugs bite.
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171. All right, Olivia. Get ready to go
from dude to dud.
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172. Thanks.
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173. Where have you guys been?
Olivia has to be home in 30 seconds.
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174. We had a crazy night.
We danced, ate mini hot dogs,
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175. and for three whole hours
I didn't have to say
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176. "Yes, daddy." Zack is so dreamy.
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177. Yeah yeah yeah. Save it for your blogs.
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178. I have to get you home to dad in...
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179. five, four, three, two...
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180. Ah, right on time. Very good, young man.
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181. Thank you, sir. Permission to shake
your daughter's hand?
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182. Permission granted. No squeezing.
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183. Of course not.
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184. Good night, Cody.
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185. Good night, Olivia.
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186. - Later, babe!
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187. Sorry. I hate this tree.
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188. It's so leafy, all this foliage.
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189. "Later, babe"?
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190. Whee-ew! I am plumb tuckered out.
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191. I told you you'd love square dancin'.
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192. Who wouldn't? It's more fun than
a basket of kittens.
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193. Plus it's wholesome exercise.
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194. You're telling me. I'm getting calf
muscles like a wrassler.
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195. Just...
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196. I sure love this new London.
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197. Yep, I'd rather go to the Rodeo
than shop on Rodeo.
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198. So, what should we do next?
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199. Read The Farmer's Almanac
or make clothes out of household items?
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200. Well, they both sound Jim-Dandy,
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201. - but I was sort a hopin'...
- Yeah?
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202. We could make each other
friendship bracelets.
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203. Yes! Out of alfalfa!
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204. You're late... again.
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205. Daddy and Cody were blabbing about
Harvard again.
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206. He's talking scholarship.
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207. You see? I told you this arrangement
would all work out.
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208. Come on, babe.
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209. Uh, don't forget her curfew!
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210. She has to be home by 9:30!
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211. What happens at 9:30?
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212. Applying for a loan?
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213. Well my credit is impeccable.
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214. No no, the waterslide
on the fiesta deck closes.
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215. Yeah, that looks awesome,
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216. but I'm too scared to go on it.
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217. Really?
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218. You know, it's not so bad if you slide
down with a partner.
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219. How would both of us
go down the slide at once?
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220. Easy. If I may...
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221. You would go in first
and I would follow closely behind
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222. and wrap my arms around you like this.
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223. as long as you're in my arms,
you're completely safe.
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224. Cody, where is my daughter?
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225. Huh?
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226. Where is Olivia?
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227. Uh... uh, Olivia...
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228. She's in the ladies' room.
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229. Wow, been in there a long time.
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230. - Who's Olivia?
- She's my daughter and this boy's date.
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231. Cody, that's so sweet.
You're dating someone?
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232. Uh no, I'm not dating anyone.
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233. I mean, we just started dating.
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234. It's completely casual... in the most
devoted kind of way.
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235. Okay, well, good luck to you lovebirds.
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236. I gotta go teach London
what "calico" means.
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237. - Who is that girl?
- No one, sir.
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238. Just met her. A complete stranger.
No involvement at all.
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239. Then why were your arms around her?
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240. Sea... sickness, sir.
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241. I was helping her to not fall over.
I'll go get Olivia.
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242. The ocean's beautiful.
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243. So, what are we gonna do tonight?
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244. I don't know. How about this?
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245. You wearing a retainer?
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246. Here's your daughter, good as ever.
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247. I'm sorry, daddy,
but I stopped by the gift shop.
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248. Cody said you went to the ladies' room.
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249. Actually there's a gift shop
in the ladies' room.
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250. It's huge.
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251. And there's a day spa.
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252. Not... Not that I would know.
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253. Help me.
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254. Uh, you don't have to worry
about anything, daddy.
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255. Cody was a perfect gentleman.
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256. Carry on. See you at 9:30.
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257. Oh, what the hey? 9:35.
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258. Okay, you can take your
hands off my girl now.
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259. So far you're doing better
on my date than I am.
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260. Her father thinks we're an
item, I had to get friendly with her.
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261. You were looking a little too friendly
if you ask me.
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262. - Do you think I enjoyed that?
- You didn't?
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263. - No, I did.
- You did?
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264. Not in the way you think.
And not in the way you think either.
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265. Just go on your stupid date already.
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266. Come on, babe. I've got tickets to see
that hypnotist guy.
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267. I'm already in a trance.
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268. Oh-ee! ringer!
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269. Oh.
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270. - London, what on earth are you doing?
- Pitchin' horseshoes!
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271. You wanna play? You against me.
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272. Works out perfectly,
like two June bugs on a peach pit.
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273. You don't play horseshoes indoors.
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274. That's what the people downstairs said.
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275. Maybe I'll just practice my ropin'.
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276. Roping? Since when do you rope? London!
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277. Hey, watch it.
you're gonna no! the other direction!
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278. Get along, little Bailey! Get along!
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279. I didn't get London!
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280. Wait, stop! Stop right now!
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281. what was my time?
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282. It's time for you and me
to have a little talk.
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283. Wow, you're good at this.
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284. Okay.
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285. - London.
- Mmm, not now, hopalong.
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286. I'm right in the middle
of a really great book.
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287. - "Getting to know your tractor"?
- Can't put it down.
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288. Chapter four, "Fun with Plowing."
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289. Will you stop talking about tractors?
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290. You want to talk about combines?
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291. No. London, untie me.
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292. Look, the truth is you're acting this way
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293. because you're, under a hypnotic spell.
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294. You're not really a farm girl.
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295. Course, I am!
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296. And I will always be.
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297. I want to marry someone named
Clem and have three children,
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298. one of each.
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299. This isn't you!
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300. Well, the one-of-each part was, but...
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301. I'm gonna snap you out of this.
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302. Hoo-ee! that was like standing by a silo
in a lightning storm.
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303. Okay, enough with the farm talk
silo this, corn that.
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304. Oh my word, no wonder
you find me annoying.
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305. We gotta go find that hypnotist.
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306. But my tractor book,
I want to know how it ends.
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307. When I snap my fingers,
you will become a race car.
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308. Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!
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309. That race car is my date.
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310. MR. Uh-oh. You have a flat tire.
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311. Buh-bump buh-bump buh-bump.
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312. Wait, Mr. Biscotti!
Here's another volunteer.
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313. Excuse me?
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314. My friend London was in your audience
the other night
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315. and accidentally got hypnotized.
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316. - Now she thinks she's me.
- Okay, so...
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317. So she's annoying.
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318. I can't get her to be her again.
I even tried this.
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319. Now you're annoying.
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320. But I'll still help.
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321. Olivia, put it in park.
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322. Oh, looky here.
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323. There are more people
out there than fleas on a hound dog.
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324. London, I want you to relax
so I can put you in a trance.
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325. Look, I am sorry, I cannot be hypn...
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326. Sleep!
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327. When I snap my fingers,
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328. you'll become the person you really are,
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329. not the person anyone else
wants you to be.
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330. Get ready to become your real self.
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331. Hey, how'd I get up here.
I was sitting over there?
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332. How did
these hideous clothes get on me?
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333. I'm wearing plaid!
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334. She's fine now.
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335. - Now then
- Sorry, there's something I need to do.
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336. - What's that?
- Have fun!
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337. Live! Cut loose!
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338. Whoo-hoo!
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339. Hey wait! If you're gonna cut loose,
cut loose with me!
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340. Oh no. Not again.
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341. Cody! Cody! Cody!
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342. - Have you seen Olivia?
- Don't tell me you lost our date!
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343. I didn't lose her, she lost me.
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344. So we went to that hypnotist's show
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345. and he was all, like, ooh-ooh!
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346. And she was all, like, vroom vroom!
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347. And next thing you know,
she went whoo-hoo!
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348. And now I can't find her!
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349. Well, as long as you have
a reasonable explanation.
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350. Whoo! Look out below!
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351. Olivia, I've been looking
all over for you!
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352. Did you try the crow's nest?
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353. - No!
- Well, ya should.
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354. It's easy to get to
If you know how to climb.
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355. Ooh! Hot tub! Last one is a rotten egg!
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356. Olivia, no! No! No!
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357. Don't jump!
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358. The water feels great!
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359. Ooh, I want a rubber ducky.
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360. - She's all yours, dude.
- Are you serious?
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361. - I can't take her home like that. Fix her.
- I don't know how!
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362. I can't even figure out
how to work velcro shoes.
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363. Do you know what her father's
going to say when he sees her?
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364. What did you do to my little girl?
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365. What's going on?
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366. Uh, well, I, uh...
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367. I'll tell you what's going on, Daddy.
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368. - I'm not dating the brainy nerd.
- That would be me.
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369. - What?
- I'm dating his brother.
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370. - The hot bad boy.
- Ha.
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371. Guilty as charged.
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372. Olivia, you disobeyed me. Why?
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373. Because I felt like it.
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374. Daddy, please stop telling me what to do
and who to date.
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375. And another thing,
I don't want to go to Harvard.
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376. I want to be a sponge diver.
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377. Because I love water!
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378. You're never going
to date my daughter again!
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379. And you! You can forget
about getting into Harvard.
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380. When I'm done with you,
you'll be lucky to get into clown college.
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381. I don't like clown college.
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382. Whoa whoa whoa. Wait a minute.
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383. Don't blame him,
he was just helping me out.
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384. All the more reason.
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385. Hey, listen, buddy. You'll never get a
better candidate for Harvard.
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386. He's got a 5.0 grade-point average.
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387. He's brilliant. He's written a novel,
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388. three cook books, an opera,
all of my papers
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389. and he even got a patent
on a mechanical spice rack.
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390. And if Harvard is
too stupid to recognize those qualities,
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391. then it's your loss.
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392. Come on, buddy.
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393. There are plenty of other colleges
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394. like the one that sounds
like the big fish.
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395. You mean Yale?
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396. Yeah, Yale.
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397. He's going to Yale.
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398. - Uck!
- Well, the dorms are nicer!
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399. And they have an atomic
particle accelerator!
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400. Well, Harvard had one of those.
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401. But it broke.
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402. Yeah, that's because no one there
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403. knows how to factor
negative isotomic transition.
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404. - Mmm!
- Do you know how to do that?
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405. Yeah. But I'm going to Yale.
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406. And I'm going to be a fountain!
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407. Throw pennies at me!
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408. Oh, dude, you got change for a dollar?
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409. So you raise? Well, I fold.
Copy !req
410. Hey, Cody.
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411. Hi, Bailey.
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412. Hey, you know how we were talking about
the waterslide on the fiesta deck?
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413. Yeah.
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414. And that I would feel safer if I went
down the slide in somebody's arms?
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415. Yeah. Yeah!
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416. I tried it with Frank.
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417. And you were right. It's fabulous.
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418. You should try it with your girlfriend.
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419. I hate Frank!
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