1. So if you win, you'll thank me?Copy !req
2. No, see, I'm not personally nominated,
so I don't get to go on stage.Copy !req
3. Studio executives can't
be personally nominated.Copy !req
4. A movie I green-lit
is nominated.Copy !req
5. Wait, you don't get
to give a speech?Copy !req
6. - You don't win a trophy?
- No. No.Copy !req
7. Matty, I told a whole roomful of people
here you're gonna win a Golden Globe.Copy !req
8. The Leventhals drove from
Syosset to watch with me.Copy !req
9. Well, you tell the Leventhals that
if the movie Zoë Kravitz directedCopy !req
10. wins best musical or comedy,
like it's supposed to,Copy !req
11. she will thank me in her speech
in front of millions of people.Copy !req
12. Everybody will hear
her say my name.Copy !req
13. Matthew, if it's Zoë's movie,Copy !req
14. why did you tell me your
movie was nominated?Copy !req
15. No, see, I essentially did make the
movie. I'm a part of the filmmaking team.Copy !req
16. You know, it wouldn't have happened
without me. But the whole thing is,Copy !req
17. nobody knows I had
anything to do with itCopy !req
18. until Zoë Kravitz thanks me
in her acceptance speech.Copy !req
19. Well, she had better thank you with
all you've sacrificed for this job.Copy !req
20. - No wife, no kids.
- By choice, Mom.Copy !req
21. Just run up on stage
with the rest of them?Copy !req
22. Give your mother a
little wave, huh?Copy !req
23. - Okay, I gotta go. I love you. Bye!
- Bye, honey.Copy !req
24. Hey, Matt.Copy !req
25. - Hey.
- Hey, Matt.Copy !req
26. Hey, how's it going?Copy !req
27. Charli, look this way, please.Copy !req
28. Charli, looking great.Copy !req
29. Charli. Charli D'Amelio,
over here. Look this way.Copy !req
30. - Excuse me, you're in my shot.
- Oh, shit.Copy !req
31. Hi, guys! We are at the Golden Globes.
And look who's behind me. Zoë Kravitz.Copy !req
32. - And she looks so good. I'm obsessed...
- I'm here with Zoë Kravitz.Copy !req
33. - Zoë, this is so exciting!
- Hey. How's it going?Copy !req
34. How does it feel to be nominated
for best comedy or musical?Copy !req
35. I am absolutely thrilled that the
Globes have recognized our film Open.Copy !req
36. And at the same time, it
feels a little weird to beCopy !req
37. pitted in competition against
other artists, you know?Copy !req
38. Like there can really be a winner.
Because I feel like anytime anyoneCopy !req
39. in this industry gets to do
something they really care about,Copy !req
40. you know, that's
the real win. So...Copy !req
41. That's winning, for sure.Copy !req
42. Amazing to see you. And we're here at
the Globes, who are you excited to meet?Copy !req
43. - Matty!
- Patty! Hey!Copy !req
44. - Matty, it's all happening.
- I know. Isn't this exciting?Copy !req
45. - It's so cool.
- No, I mean it's really happening.Copy !req
46. - I know, it's really exciting. Oh, yeah.
- I've always loved the Globes but...Copy !req
47. You know, especially when I was
boozing. But being here as a nominee...Copy !req
48. - Yeah. Yeah.
- ... it's on a whole other level.Copy !req
49. - You win, we all win, you know?
- Yeah.Copy !req
50. Well, yeah, except as a
producer I can actually win.Copy !req
51. - Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, I can go up on stage,Copy !req
52. take home a statue and
become Hollywood immortal.Copy !req
53. And my legacy would
be forever enshrined.Copy !req
54. Yeah. It'll be really cool.Copy !req
55. Who are all these people? I
don't recognize any of them.Copy !req
56. They're influencers. Most of
them don't even go inside.Copy !req
57. They just make their red
carpet TikToks and leave.Copy !req
58. Jesus.Copy !req
59. What the fuck is
happening to this town?Copy !req
60. I remember when the red carpetCopy !req
61. for the Golden Globes
actually stood for something.Copy !req
62. Well, yeah, but if you don't
get these phone-toting fetusesCopy !req
63. to focus on something
longer than 15 seconds,Copy !req
64. all of this is going the
way of DEI departments.Copy !req
65. - That'd be a shame.
- Hi!Copy !req
66. We Globezing.Copy !req
67. We Globezing, yo!Copy !req
68. What's up? Good to see you, man.Copy !req
69. - You look beautiful.
- Look at you. You!Copy !req
70. - I'm at table 172. Where are you guys?
- Four.Copy !req
71. - Four?
- Yeah.Copy !req
72. How am I 168 tables away from you?
Oh, my God, am I with TV people?Copy !req
73. - Yeesh. Sorry about that.
- Poor thing.Copy !req
74. - Hey, Patty.
- It's Stallone. Hey!Copy !req
75. I have to talk to him. I don't
want to, but he still has my horse.Copy !req
76. - Sly, where's my Buttercup?
- Holy shit! Watch this.Copy !req
77. Adam motherfucking Scott!Copy !req
78. Sal? Holy shit,
man. How you doing?Copy !req
79. - It's been so fucking long!
- I know.Copy !req
80. - Hey, what's up, Matt?
- What's up, dude?Copy !req
81. Listen, like, 20 years ago,
when I first got out here,Copy !req
82. I crashed on Sal's couch
for, like, six months.Copy !req
83. - I didn't know that.
- Yes!Copy !req
84. Fucking guy's socks smelled
like a Coachella port-a-potty.Copy !req
85. - True.
- Now his dick does.Copy !req
86. Very true.Copy !req
87. - Hey, what table are you at?
- Three.Copy !req
88. - Three? Three?
- Yeah.Copy !req
89. - Matt Remick.
- Mitch! Good to see you.Copy !req
90. - Zoë loved making Open at Continental.
- We loved having her.Copy !req
91. - She had such a blast.
- Yeah. That's good.Copy !req
92. - Then why don't you...
- Can we make Blackwing there?Copy !req
93. Yeah. Tell her to close
the fucking deal already.Copy !req
94. - Then stop fucking us on the front pay.
- I'm not fucking you on anything, dude.Copy !req
95. This will pay her more money than
she's ever made for any movieCopy !req
96. in her whole career, okay?Copy !req
97. Zoë as a vampire assassinCopy !req
98. in a black bodysuit holding a red Glock
dipped in holy water is cash money, bitch.Copy !req
99. Hey, why you gotta
Jew me like this?Copy !req
100. Look, I know we're both Jewish.
I don't love the Jew jokes.Copy !req
101. - Jew love it.
- I don't...Copy !req
102. No, seriously, let's
close this fucker, man.Copy !req
103. She's on the fence. If you
just sweeten it a little bit.Copy !req
104. Please take your seats.
The show is about to begin.Copy !req
105. Best and final offer. Take
it or leave it, all right?Copy !req
106. - I know you're bluffing.
- Okay. Yeah.Copy !req
107. - You're bluffing, right?
- Well, get back to me, okay?Copy !req
108. Hey! Look at you!Copy !req
109. Thank you so much.
Don't mind if I do.Copy !req
110. Thank you. This is such
an incredible honor.Copy !req
111. It's not an Oscar, but
it's still pretty cool.Copy !req
112. When we were pitching
Deafening Silence,Copy !req
113. our reps told us no one
is buying limited series.Copy !req
114. But now, we have Golden
Globes and they're fired.Copy !req
115. Thank you so, so much to our
incredible cast and crew.Copy !req
116. And, of course, I want to say thank
you to the person without whomCopy !req
117. I couldn't have
done any of this.Copy !req
118. My rock, my everything,
my partner through it all,Copy !req
119. the love of my
Ted Sarandos.Copy !req
120. Thank you. I love you.Copy !req
121. Ted, you're the best
studio head ever.Copy !req
122. Yes, we are married, but
we're in an open relationship.Copy !req
123. But just with Ted.Copy !req
124. Let's just say he didn't
get rid of all backend.Copy !req
125. But all disgusting jokes
about my boss aside,Copy !req
126. thank you so much to you, Ted,
and to everyone at NetflixCopy !req
127. for letting us make this incredibly
important show. Thank you!Copy !req
128. Give it up for them.
Such an important show.Copy !req
129. And everyone here makes
such important work.Copy !req
130. I love it, and it's why I get nervous,
you know? It's such a tense time.Copy !req
131. I hope we get to keep doing it.
And I don't know about you guys,Copy !req
132. but I'm starting to feel like
I have to go to the movies.Copy !req
133. Like, if I don't buy a ticket, the
whole thing's gonna fall apart.Copy !req
134. Like, every trailer
feels like a Kickstarter.Copy !req
135. Especially the expensive
movies, like Avatar.Copy !req
136. That's like a GoFundMe
for all of Hollywood.Copy !req
137. If Avatar doesn't work, none
of us will ever work again.Copy !req
138. I don't care if you don't like it.
It cost $300 million. They need us.Copy !req
139. And don't buy a ticket
'cause you love Avatar 3,Copy !req
140. buy one 'cause you
fucking love movies!Copy !req
141. All right, we'll be right back.Copy !req
142. That was great. He's so funny.Copy !req
143. It's an honor to be at the table
with you guys. And, Zoë, this...Copy !req
144. It's so well-deserved, you know?Copy !req
145. - Yeah.
- Oh, yeah, it's fun.Copy !req
146. It's so weird to
judge art, though.Copy !req
147. Don't you think? The
whole thing's so silly.Copy !req
148. - Yeah, it's true. Yeah.
- What a thought! Wow.Copy !req
149. Yeah, I just try to have a good
time with these things, you know?Copy !req
150. And just be in the moment.Copy !req
151. But I have a good
feeling about tonight.Copy !req
152. You have salad? They're not feeding
us back there. It's fucking crazy.Copy !req
153. - Sal! Dude! We did it, Joe!
- We did it, Joe! Oh, my God.Copy !req
154. - I'm having a crouton.
- Should we take a team photo?Copy !req
155. Oh, yes! Yes! Come here.Copy !req
156. Patty, get over here,
you fucking icon.Copy !req
157. - Yeah. Come here, boss.
- I will, ZoZo.Copy !req
158. - That's the boss lady right here.
- All right.Copy !req
159. - Actually, Matt...
- Yeah. Where do you want me?Copy !req
160. Maybe just there so
you're not too close.Copy !req
161. - 'Cause it's... Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.
- Yeah, take the photo. Yeah.Copy !req
162. Obviously. Of course.Copy !req
163. - All right. Everyone get in there.
- Thank you.Copy !req
164. - One, two, three... Team Open!
- Team Open!Copy !req
165. Yeah.Copy !req
166. Let's get one with Matt holding
the camera kinda vertical,Copy !req
167. - 'cause it's better for social.
- Yeah, okay.Copy !req
168. - Love you!
- Team Open!Copy !req
169. - I love you guys!
- There you go.Copy !req
170. - Let's take a look.
- It's great. Really good.Copy !req
171. Thank you.Copy !req
172. Come on.Copy !req
173. Hi, Mom.Copy !req
174. Is JLaw there? Because,
if so, maybe you could...Copy !req
175. Jennifer Lawrence is here,
and I will not tell herCopy !req
176. to get a shoulder-length
haircut. Okay?Copy !req
177. I'll talk to you soon.
I love you. Goodbye.Copy !req
178. - Hey, Matt. You okay?
- Yeah, I'm great.Copy !req
179. You sure?Copy !req
180. Is it just me, or does Zoë
Kravitz not like me very much?Copy !req
181. I knew it. Grow up, Matty.Copy !req
182. Mitch Weitz told me she liked you
enough to bring you Blackwing.Copy !req
183. Yeah. I mean, maybe I'm blowing
it out of proportion in my head.Copy !req
184. It just seems like she doesn't, like,
consider me a part of the filmmaking team.Copy !req
185. And now I'm worried that if she wins,
she's not gonna thank me in her speech,Copy !req
186. but maybe that doesn't
even matter. Right?Copy !req
187. Oh, no, that's everything.Copy !req
188. - Everything?
- It...Copy !req
189. It's the most unsatisfying
thing about being an executive.Copy !req
190. - Your name is nowhere on the film. Right?
- Exactly! Yes, yes!Copy !req
191. And without a thank-you,
you basically do not exist.Copy !req
192. - Exactly! Yes!
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
193. Oh, my God, when I wasn't thanked, I
would sob the entire limo ride home.Copy !req
194. But now, I'm a nominee.Copy !req
195. Must be one of the
perks of getting canned.Copy !req
196. Okay. Look, if you guys win tonight,
will you thank me in your speech?Copy !req
197. Oh, Matty, I would, of course.
But, no, we all agreed thatCopy !req
198. Zoë would be the one to speak.Copy !req
199. Will you ask Zoë to
thank me in her speech?Copy !req
200. Yeah, I... You're not kidding.Copy !req
201. No, I'm not kidd... Look, I'll just
ask her to thank me myself, all right?Copy !req
202. - No, you will not!
- Why? Why not?Copy !req
203. No, you never... You do not ask talent
to thank you. That is so pathetic.Copy !req
204. Isn't it more pathetic to want something
and be too afraid to ask for it?Copy !req
205. Not in this case. Not unless you want
her to know you're disturbingly needy.Copy !req
206. I am not needy. I just
need to be thanked tonight.Copy !req
207. What if this is my only chanceCopy !req
208. to be thanked in a Golden Globes
speech for the rest of my life?Copy !req
209. Matty, I love you, but
I have to go vomit.Copy !req
210. What? Are you okay?Copy !req
211. Yeah, I'm great. I'm
great. But, it's just...Copy !req
212. whenever I get even close
to realizing a dream...Copy !req
213. I blow chunks.Copy !req
214. From The Boys, please
welcome Erin MoriartyCopy !req
215. and Antony Starr.Copy !req
216. - How's it going?
- Yeah, great.Copy !req
217. Looking forward to a fun night of
watching people blow Ted Sarandos, right?Copy !req
218. Yeah. At least you're not at a
table with a bunch of Dutch incelsCopy !req
219. who made some horror
show I've never heard of.Copy !req
220. I'm sitting next to a guy named
Joop who will not speak to me.Copy !req
221. Fucking dick.Copy !req
222. So however bad your night's
going, mine's fucking worse.Copy !req
223. Wait. Why are you staring at me?Copy !req
224. Dude, is this really a
thing you're doing now?Copy !req
225. Is what a thing?Copy !req
226. I mean... You're wearing a cape.Copy !req
227. Well, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
228. Of course I am. It's a
formal event. Formal cape.Copy !req
229. Okay. Seriously,
Mr. Homelander? I mean...Copy !req
230. Seriously. I've been a
cape guy my entire life.Copy !req
231. I'm not gonna stop now. Where
I come from, it's very common.Copy !req
232. Oh, my God. Your homeland is
New Zealand, not Transylvania.Copy !req
233. Okay. Okay. Relax.Copy !req
234. And the winner for Best Supporting Actor
in a Miniseries or Television Film...Copy !req
235. Oh, my...Copy !req
236. - A superhero of acting. Adam Scott!
- Adam Scott!Copy !req
237. That's you.Copy !req
238. What?Copy !req
239. - Oh, my God.
- Get up there!Copy !req
240. He used to crash on my
couch, like, 20 years ago.Copy !req
241. He used to crash on my
couch, like, in 2000.Copy !req
242. Oh, my God. This is...
Wow! This is unexpected.Copy !req
243. I literally do not
have a speech prepared,Copy !req
244. so I guess I will just thank
Ethan and Giancarlo, my costars.Copy !req
245. Steven Soderbergh, our
director, of course.Copy !req
246. My agents. My wife and kids.Copy !req
247. Everybody at Netflix. All
the people... Ted Sarandos.Copy !req
248. Ted, I love you.Copy !req
249. You know what? On my way in here,
I ran into an old buddy of mine.Copy !req
250. The dude whose couch I slept
on when I first came out here.Copy !req
251. So if I'm thanking people, I think
I should thank Sal Saperstein.Copy !req
252. Come on, man!Copy !req
253. - Dude, look what happened.
- Thank you.Copy !req
254. - What are you doing?
- I don't know.Copy !req
255. - Sal Saperstein!
- Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
256. What was that?Copy !req
257. Wow. Congratulations.Copy !req
258. And I think I speak for
most of America when I say,Copy !req
259. "Who the hell is
Sal Saperstein?"Copy !req
260. Yeah, that's me right here!Copy !req
261. All right, sir.Copy !req
262. You might be the most enthusiastic
seat filler in Globes history.Copy !req
263. Give it up for him. All
right, we'll be right back.Copy !req
264. Thank you.Copy !req
265. Sal! That was fucking hilarious!Copy !req
266. - Dude, that was insane, right?
- What just happened?Copy !req
267. I'm going fucking crazy.
My phone is exploding.Copy !req
268. - Yo, yo, yo. I'm a meme, Matt.
- Oh, my God. You're so famous.Copy !req
269. - Wow. Congrats. Amazing.
- I'm a fucking meme, baby!Copy !req
270. I feel like I'm on cocaine, so I'm
gonna go do a little bit of cocaineCopy !req
271. and see what happens. This
is the best night of my life.Copy !req
272. - I fucking love both of you.
- Love you so much!Copy !req
273. - That was wild.
- So funny.Copy !req
274. That was so crazy.Copy !req
275. - So, Zoë, where do you even start...
- Yeah.Copy !req
276. with writing these
acceptance speeches, huh?Copy !req
277. Like, how do you decide who
you're gonna thank, you know?Copy !req
278. You know, I haven't
really thought about it.Copy !req
279. I mean, I don't think
we're gonna win, so...Copy !req
280. No, I think you really do have a
good shot of winning, actually.Copy !req
281. I don't think so, but it's an
honor to be nominated, you know?Copy !req
282. Yeah. But do you do like, you know,
something funny, like a shtick?Copy !req
283. Or do you do a heartfelt speechCopy !req
284. acknowledging everyone who
helped bring the film to life?Copy !req
285. I really haven't thought about
it, because we're not gonna win.Copy !req
286. But I guess, if I won,
which I'm not going to...Copy !req
287. I would just, you know, thank
the Hollywood Foreign PressCopy !req
288. and the other nominees
and, you know, Team Open.Copy !req
289. - Yeah. Team Open. Right.
- So smart, Zoë. Yeah, play it cool.Copy !req
290. - You don't wanna go full Benigni.
- Right?Copy !req
291. No, but also, a lot of people worked
hard to bring the film to life,Copy !req
292. and you don't want
to forget anyone.Copy !req
293. Hey, you haven't
met Sly Stallone,Copy !req
294. - have you?
- No!Copy !req
295. - He's a bucket list selfie, so come on.
- You've been telling me about him.Copy !req
296. An icon introducing
me to another icon!Copy !req
297. And the Globe goes to...Copy !req
298. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
299. Quinta Brunson for
Intended Consequences!Copy !req
300. - Hey.
- Hey, man.Copy !req
301. - Congrats, dude.
- Thank you.Copy !req
302. That was such a funny bit,
how you thanked Sal like that.Copy !req
303. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was likeCopy !req
304. a spur-of-the-moment
kind of thing, you know?Copy !req
305. That's funny. It's like, some
people wait their whole careersCopy !req
306. to get thanked in a Globes speech.
I wonder how they feel, huh?Copy !req
307. Yeah. I mean, honestly, I don't
think anyone's paying attentionCopy !req
308. to any of this shit, you know?Copy !req
309. - Totally, right? Who cares?
- Yeah.Copy !req
310. Oh, my God! Okay. Thank
you so much for this.Copy !req
311. Thank you to the
Hollywood Foreign Press.Copy !req
312. It was just such an honor to be
directed by the amazing Alexander Payne,Copy !req
313. and I also have to thank Donna Langley
at Universal and everyone at Universal.Copy !req
314. Our incredible producers and
our incredible cast and crew.Copy !req
315. And you know what? Look, I've never met
him but he seems like such a fun dude,Copy !req
316. and if Adam Scott likes
him, now how bad can he be?Copy !req
317. Sal Saperstein, I want to
say thank you to you too!Copy !req
318. Oh, there he is. Thanks, Sal!Copy !req
319. Oh, yeah! It's me! It's
me! Yes! Yes, right there.Copy !req
320. Oh, my God! Sal Saperstein?Copy !req
321. What?Copy !req
322. And now, for fans
of schadenfreude,Copy !req
323. this is the part of the night
you've been waiting for.Copy !req
324. A look at all the people
we've lost this year.Copy !req
325. Please hold your applause till the
end. It's what they would have wanted.Copy !req
326. - A callback. How fun is that?
- Yeah.Copy !req
327. - Thank you. Hey.
- Hey, Gabby.Copy !req
328. - How's it going?
- Good, yeah.Copy !req
329. I mean, it's the craziest
night to be a publicist...Copy !req
330. - Yeah. Yeah.
- ... but I feel good.Copy !req
331. - I feel like our girl could get this one.
- Yeah. Really. Yeah.Copy !req
332. - It feels like a good vibe, huh? Yeah.
- I know. Fingers crossed. Okay.Copy !req
333. Hey, yo. So, did Zoë run her
acceptance speech past you?Copy !req
334. - Of course. Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
335. She sent it to me this morning and we
put it in the prompter, in case she wins.Copy !req
336. Yeah. So, do you happen
to remember who she...Copy !req
337. - who she thanks in her speech?
- I think so, yeah.Copy !req
338. Uh-huh. Okay, look,
I'm just gonna ask.Copy !req
339. Am I one of the people she's
gonna thank if she wins tonight?Copy !req
340. I don't think I remember
'cause the speech is so long.Copy !req
341. Is my name in the speech? Just
tell me. Am I in the speech?Copy !req
342. Not in the draft we loaded
into the prompter, no.Copy !req
343. Watch the show and have fun.Copy !req
344. And a very special thanks to Ted Sarandos
at Netflix. Thank you so, so much.Copy !req
345. Yeah, of course. Ted
Sarandos. That fucking guy.Copy !req
346. Thank you so much.Copy !req
347. And I suppose thanking
Sal Saperstein has...Copy !req
348. become a bit like rubbing a
Buddha statue's belly for luck.Copy !req
349. Except that in this case you've already
won, so it really doesn't make any sense.Copy !req
350. Yet nothing in this business
really makes sense, does it?Copy !req
351. So... thank you, Sal Saperstein!Copy !req
352. What is happening?Copy !req
353. Thank you, Jean Smart.
Thank you, Jean Smart.Copy !req
354. It's me! It's me. Right there.Copy !req
355. All right, all right, all right.Copy !req
356. - Hey, dude. How's it going, bro?
- It's okay.Copy !req
357. So, Zoë Kravitz is afraid she forgot
someone's name from her acceptance speech.Copy !req
358. I just wanna make sure it's
in there, in case she wins.Copy !req
359. Yeah, the speeches, they're
already proofed and loaded,Copy !req
360. so I can't really change
them at this point.Copy !req
361. You could change it. You got the
keyboard there. Just type it in.Copy !req
362. Yeah, I have a keyboard but I need
permission to change it from ZoëCopy !req
363. or her publicist.
That's the protocol.Copy !req
364. Yeah. They're both tied
up out there right now,Copy !req
365. but they asked me to come back
here and just get it done, so...Copy !req
366. Yeah, right. And who are you?Copy !req
367. - I... I work at...
- Have a seat.Copy !req
368. Continental Pictures.
They made Zoë's film.Copy !req
369. So anyway, Matt
Remick is the name.Copy !req
370. He's the head of Continental
Studios, and Zoë's...Copy !req
371. She's worried she forgot
his name from her speech.Copy !req
372. She'd be devastated if she
didn't thank him, so...Copy !req
373. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
374. What are you doing here?Copy !req
375. I... What are you doing here?Copy !req
376. I just saw you at the table.Copy !req
377. Yeah, I'm also presenting. I just
wanted to double check my lines.Copy !req
378. Yeah, Miss Kravitz, did you ask this
man to change your acceptance speech?Copy !req
379. I'm sorry, Matt... What?Copy !req
380. You're Matt?Copy !req
381. He asked me to put his
name, Matt, in your speech.Copy !req
382. - I...
- What is going on?Copy !req
383. I was joking.Copy !req
384. He wasn't joking.Copy !req
385. Would you sh...Copy !req
386. Look, let me just explain
this to you real fast, okay?Copy !req
387. Yeah, please do.Copy !req
388. It's actually very
simple. I just...Copy !req
389. I just didn't want you to forget
to thank me in your speech.Copy !req
390. And you thought I'd say
whatever's on the teleprompter,Copy !req
391. like I'm fucking Ron Burgundy?Copy !req
392. That was the hope.Copy !req
393. I'm very proud of this movie,Copy !req
394. and I didn't write it or direct it,
and the only way anyone will knowCopy !req
395. that I contributed anything to it
is if you thank me in your speech.Copy !req
396. And honestly, I figured
you wouldn't give a shit.Copy !req
397. You don't seem to give a shit about
this award stuff at all, you know?Copy !req
398. All right. Let's get one thing straight.
I give a shit. I give a ginormous shit.Copy !req
399. But you keep saying
how silly it is.Copy !req
400. I'm pretending! I'm already
rich. I'm already famous.Copy !req
401. Winning awards is like the
only thing that's left.Copy !req
402. Okay, great! Well, then you
understand how important it is.Copy !req
403. You see why I wanna
be thanked, so I...Copy !req
404. Yes, I do. But you're
not a part of my plan.Copy !req
405. I have this figured out to the T,
and I'm not getting played off.Copy !req
406. That shit's embarrassing.Copy !req
407. But I thought you didn't think you
were even gonna win this thing.Copy !req
408. I'm gonna win.Copy !req
409. I have gone to every luncheon
and bruncheon that thoseCopy !req
410. Hollywood Foreign
fucks have thrown.Copy !req
411. I have put in the work,
and I am winning this shit.Copy !req
412. It's three words.
"Thanks, Matt Remick."Copy !req
413. That's all I want you to
put in there, you know?Copy !req
414. You don't understand. I have practiced
this in the mirror a million times.Copy !req
415. I can't change it
now. It's perfect.Copy !req
416. I start genuinely shocked,
then get very humble,Copy !req
417. become overwhelmed with
gratitude and start crying.Copy !req
418. Then I compose myself, give a big
thanks to Team Open, and that's it.Copy !req
419. This movie would not exist if it
wasn't for me. I green-lit it.Copy !req
420. You and me, we are
Team Open, you know?Copy !req
421. - You can't possibly believe that.
- I do!Copy !req
422. Oh, my God. That
is so fucking sad.Copy !req
423. Dude, shut the fuck up, man.Copy !req
424. I'm out here trying to show
Christopher Nolan that I have range,Copy !req
425. and all I can hear
is you whining.Copy !req
426. We're so sorry, Ramy, and
you are killing it tonight.Copy !req
427. Zoë, I was not yelling at you. I was
yelling at whoever the fuck this guy is.Copy !req
428. I love you and I
love your movie.Copy !req
429. It's really good. It's
not just diversity good.Copy !req
430. - You're gonna win.
- Oh, my God. I love you so much.Copy !req
431. We're not gonna
win, but I love you.Copy !req
432. Zoë, I'm begging you here.
My mother is watching.Copy !req
433. I have to go rehearse my bit.Copy !req
434. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.Copy !req
435. Oh, God, no. Fuck!Copy !req
436. Oh, no. Oh, no, no. Oh, no.Copy !req
437. Matt!Copy !req
438. Yeah. I've got eyes on him. Yeah,
I'm gonna tell him right now.Copy !req
439. Yo, what's up?Copy !req
440. That was Zoë. She's gonna back
out of the Blackwing deal.Copy !req
441. Are you ser... She told you
that right now? Are you ser...Copy !req
442. Yeah, she just called me, and she
said that you tried to put your nameCopy !req
443. - in her acceptance speech?
- Oh, fuck.Copy !req
444. Have you lost your fucking mind?Copy !req
445. She is livid, okay?Copy !req
446. So forget about thanking you, she
will never work with Jew again.Copy !req
447. Now's not the time for
these fucking jokes, okay?Copy !req
448. I'm not joking. Do I
look like I'm kidding?Copy !req
449. We need to make Blackwing,
okay? It's a priority.Copy !req
450. - Yeah, I understand that.
- You gotta smooth things over!Copy !req
451. Me? What the fuck am I...Copy !req
452. Yes! First dollar gross. We will
give her first dollar gross.Copy !req
453. - Really?
- Yes.Copy !req
454. Well, now you're talking like
a rational Jew-man being.Copy !req
455. When young writers
ask me for adviceCopy !req
456. on how to succeed in the
entertainment business,Copy !req
457. I tell them three things:
First, shorter is better.Copy !req
458. Second, faster is better. Third,
don't take anybody's advice.Copy !req
459. When I look back on my career, there
are far too many people to thankCopy !req
460. for one speech, so
I'll whittle it down.Copy !req
461. Thank you, Sal Saperstein.Copy !req
462. Yeah, come on.Copy !req
463. - Yes! Yes! This guy.
- You can't handle the Sap.Copy !req
464. This guy right here.Copy !req
465. - That's me. That's me. That's me.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.Copy !req
466. Yeah!Copy !req
467. - I love you, Aaron Sorkin.
- Yes!Copy !req
468. - You can't handle the Sap.
- Yes!Copy !req
469. Sal Saperstein!Copy !req
470. - Hey, Ted.
- Hey, Matt.Copy !req
471. I gotta ask you, man, how
do you get all these starsCopy !req
472. to thank you in their speeches?Copy !req
473. You showing up on set every day,Copy !req
474. you giving them fucking
fruit baskets, or something?Copy !req
475. No, it's contractual.Copy !req
476. No, I force them to. They
literally have to thank me.Copy !req
477. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
478. Yeah, I'm not gonna leave
something that important to chance.Copy !req
479. Yeah, no. Wow,
that's genius, man.Copy !req
480. I gotta do that from now on.Copy !req
481. Yeah. Yeah, right?Copy !req
482. I mean, otherwise, why in the
world would they possibly thank us?Copy !req
483. We're bean counters,
they're artists.Copy !req
484. Yeah, I mean, I go... I mean...Copy !req
485. - I am an artist, so...
- That's hilarious.Copy !req
486. No, I mean, I am. I mean,
we're... we are both artists, Ted.Copy !req
487. I am not a fucking artist.Copy !req
488. Well, I am a fucking artist.Copy !req
489. Well, even if you're crazy
enough to really believe that,Copy !req
490. don't say it out loud in
front of the real artists.Copy !req
491. I think your category's next.Copy !req
492. Shit.Copy !req
493. What a dumb-ass.Copy !req
494. You know the worst
part of awards seasonCopy !req
495. is all the constant
pandering for attention.Copy !req
496. Isn't that right, Basha? Don't
we hate the pandering-wandering?Copy !req
497. Yeah, the dog sitter flaked
and Basha hates to be alone.Copy !req
498. But I swear, the turd in
the greenroom was not his.Copy !req
499. It was Dame Judi Dench, but,
Judi, I picked it up for you.Copy !req
500. I love you.Copy !req
501. Here to present the award for Best
Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy,Copy !req
502. is a man who has done neither.
Zack Snyder, everybody.Copy !req
503. Thank you.Copy !req
504. Now, for any of you who felt
like the show's gone by too fastCopy !req
505. or felt it's not nearly long enough,
don't worry, I'll be releasing a six-hour,Copy !req
506. black-and-white, 4:3 version
of the show, Snyder Cut style,Copy !req
507. on digital download and Blu-ray,
29.99, so look for that.Copy !req
508. It'll be well worth it.Copy !req
509. All right, let's
get to it, shall we?Copy !req
510. The nominees for Best Motion
Picture, Musical or Comedy,Copy !req
511. Dogs Are People Too...Copy !req
512. Intended Consequences,Copy !req
513. Whip-Smart, Open...Copy !req
514. Yeah.Copy !req
515. and finally, Day Lilies.Copy !req
516. The Golden Globe goes to...Copy !req
517. Sal Saperstein. No! Open!Copy !req
518. - Open! Open! Yeah! Yeah!
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God!Copy !req
519. Yeah! Yeah, we did
it. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
520. - Patty! Congrats. You won.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
521. I'm an award winner.
We did it. We did.Copy !req
522. I did it. It's happening.Copy !req
523. - Amazing. Amazing.
- Thank you.Copy !req
524. Oh, my God.Copy !req
525. Wow. Wow.Copy !req
526. I was not expecting this.
I know people say that,Copy !req
527. but I really,
really wasn't. Wow.Copy !req
528. I really can't even believe that
I'm even in the conversationCopy !req
529. with visionaries
like Alexander PayneCopy !req
530. and his masterful
storytelling in Day Lilies,Copy !req
531. or Jonathan Levine and his hilarious
and heartfelt Dogs Are People Too.Copy !req
532. It is so silly the way they pit
us against each other like this...Copy !req
533. Yes.Copy !req
534. and so I accept this
award on behalf of all of us.Copy !req
535. And... Sorry.Copy !req
536. I am so... I am so grateful that
I get to do this for a living.Copy !req
537. To make art and to tell stories
from the heart is a privilegeCopy !req
538. and one I don't take lightly.Copy !req
539. Thank you to the Hollywood Foreign Press.
Thank you to my amazing cast and crew.Copy !req
540. And yes, thank you, Sal Saperstein,
who actually did work on my movie!Copy !req
541. And my rock of a producer, my
mentor, my bestie, Patty Leigh.Copy !req
542. Oh, Zo.Copy !req
543. I love you. I...Copy !req
544. And there is one more person
I would like to thank.Copy !req
545. - Don't play me off.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.Copy !req
546. He believed in the
movie from day one.Copy !req
547. Without him, the film
would not have been made,Copy !req
548. so I wanna take this opportunityCopy !req
549. to say thank you so much,Copy !req
550. Matt Remick.Copy !req
551. All right. Yes, yes, Zoë's here.Copy !req
552. So, how did the speech play?Copy !req
553. Because I really didn't think I was gonna
win, so I was up there, like, rambling.Copy !req
554. - I don't even know what I was saying.
- People were spellbound.Copy !req
555. - Really?
- Yes. It was so authenticCopy !req
556. and endearing. And magnetic.Copy !req
557. - Thank you. I love you.
- Hey.Copy !req
558. - She didn't say your name.
- I know. I know.Copy !req
559. We even had subtitles on for Alan
Freedland, who's deaf as a post now.Copy !req
560. Nothing! What happened?Copy !req
561. I don't know what to tell you, Mom. I'm
sorry. It's a complicated situation.Copy !req
562. I'll tell you about it
later, okay? I gotta go.Copy !req
563. - Okay, but call me back.
- I love you. Bye.Copy !req
564. - What's up, motherfucker?
- We won!Copy !req
565. - We fucking did it!
- We did it!Copy !req
566. And guess what the headline of
the night, The Ankler, said.Copy !req
567. "The MVP of the evening is Continental VP
of production, Sal fucking Saperstein."Copy !req
568. Oh, my fucking God.Copy !req
569. All this just for letting Adam Scott
crash on your skid-marked couch.Copy !req
570. - You have officially won Hollywood.
- I love you.Copy !req
571. - Sap! Dude, look what we did! No way!
- No! Dude! Dude! Come on.Copy !req
572. - Yeah!
- We fucking did it!Copy !req
573. Hey, listen. Jimmy Kimmel
rented out The Penthouse.Copy !req
574. It's gonna be the best
after-party ever. You wanna go?Copy !req
575. - I love Jimmy Kimmel! I'm fucking in!
- Yeah!Copy !req
576. - I won't be at work tomorrow!
- Okay. Yeah.Copy !req
577. - Sal Saperstein!
- Yeah!Copy !req
578. Hi.Copy !req
579. Hi.Copy !req
580. - Well done.
- Thank you. Thank you so much.Copy !req
581. Wait, Matt! Where are you going?Copy !req
582. That's me. I'm just heading home.
It's... You know, it's been a long night.Copy !req
583. - Did you tell him?
- Well, I was about to.Copy !req
584. - Tell me what?
- She's good to close the deal.Copy !req
585. We've got a movie.
Team Blackwing!Copy !req
586. - Team motherfucking Blackwing!
- Really?Copy !req
587. - Yes!
- Oh, my God! Team Blackwing! Yes!Copy !req
588. Thank you, thank you, thank you!Copy !req
589. - Good Shabbas.
- Oh, yeah. You too.Copy !req
590. - Thank you, honestly.
- Yeah.Copy !req
591. You're gonna make another great
film. We'll be back in a few years.Copy !req
592. - You'll get another one of those.
- I doubt that, but...Copy !req
593. - I'll talk to you soon.
- Matt, wait! I got cut off,Copy !req
594. but you did hear that
I did say thank you?Copy !req
595. I did. I saw. I saw your mouth.Copy !req
596. - You mouthed my name. I appreciate that.
- Yeah.Copy !req
597. I'm so sorry I went
crazy in there, so...Copy !req
598. - Yeah.
- No, no. It's okay, it's okay.Copy !req
599. But really, I mean it. Thank you.
Thank you for green-lighting Open.Copy !req
600. Well, I believed in you
from the very start and,Copy !req
601. you know, at the end of the day, you're
the artist, I'm just the bean counter.Copy !req
602. - Have a good night. Okay.
- Yeah. I'll talk to you soon.Copy !req
603. - Hi!
- Zoë! Hey, baby! Hey!Copy !req
604. Oh, Matt. You know you'll
get one of these someday.Copy !req
605. You just have to
get fired first.Copy !req
606. Might happen sooner
than you think.Copy !req
607. Congratulations, Patty. You
really, really deserve that, okay?Copy !req
608. - Thank you.
- I'm happy for you. Yeah. Thank you.Copy !req
609. - Thank you, Matt Remick!
- Thank you, Patty Leigh!Copy !req
610. - Team Open! Yeah! Team Open!
- Team Open!Copy !req
611. Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
612. Fuck!Copy !req
613. Your movie lost?Copy !req
614. No, it won.Copy !req
615. Take me home, please.Copy !req
616. You got it.Copy !req