1. - By the pricking of
my thumbs, something
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2. wicked this way comes.
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3. - Ugh.
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4. - Sorry— every
crook for himself.
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5. - Ugh.
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6. - Help!
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7. Let me out!
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8. - Hey, Spidey, back
in black, huh?
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9. I approve.
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10. What?
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11. Ah, uh, hey!
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12. - Unh, umh.
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13. - Aw, ack.
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14. Livin' on the edge,
fighting crime, spinning webs.
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15. Swinging from the highest ledge,
he can leap above our heads.
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16. Ahhh, ahh, ah, ahh, ahhh.
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17. Ahhh, ahh, ahhh, ah, ahhh, ah.
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18. Villains on the rise and
the city's victimized.
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19. Looking up with no surprise,
arriving in the speed of time.
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20. Ahhh, ahh, ah, ahh, ahhh.
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21. Ahhh, ahh, ah, ahh, ahhh.
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22. Spectacular,
spectacular Spiderman.
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23. Spectacular,
spectacular Spider-Man.
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24. Spectaculaaar Spectacular,
spectacular Spider-Man
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25. Spectacular,
spectacular Spider Man.
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26. - Presume not that I
am the thing I was,
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27. for I turned away
my former self.
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28. - It's happening again.
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29. Ahhrgh.
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30. - Stay calm, Colonel,
slow, deep breaths.
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31. - Deep breaths?
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32. That's all you got?
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33. Help him!
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34. My boy's clothes are
shrinkin' right off him.
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35. - No, actually, he's
getting bigger.
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36. Not that that helps either.
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37. - I gotcha, Johnny.
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38. - No, Pop, stay back.
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39. - No wonder this lab goes
through funding so quickly.
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40. - Whaw, it's OK.
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41. That attack's over.
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42. And, hey, I taught that
wall a thing or two.
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43. - Are you joking about this?
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44. - Too soon, huh?
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45. - (GASPING) This should help.
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46. Why don't you try it on
in my office— carefully.
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47. - What's happening to my son?
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48. - He was exposed
to the alien life
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49. form on the hull of
his space shuttle.
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50. Colonel Jameson was
infected by the simbi— eh,
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51. the l-life form?
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52. - Actually, he's infected with
microscopic spores that hitched
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53. a ride on the life form, the
way to gum sticks to a shoe.
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54. We've been tracking his
condition for months.
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55. Since entering the
Colonel's system,
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56. the spores have
multiplied exponentially.
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57. - Dr. Connors thinks
they may have originated
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58. on a high-mass, high-gravity
world, like— like Jupiter.
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59. - I don't care if
they're from Jersey.
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60. If those spores aren't out with
my son in 4.2 seconds, I'll—
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61. - It's just not that simple.
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62. My gene cleanser had
no effect, neither did
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63. extreme heat or cold.
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64. I've had limited
success destroying
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65. individual spores
with electricity.
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66. But, in the meantime—
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67. - I get to wear this fancy suit.
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68. I hear it's all the
rage on Jupiter.
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69. - Ya look like a fool superhero.
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70. - The spores are chemically
altering your mass,
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71. making you heavier, stronger.
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72. This, uh, Jupiter suit will
slow you down, regulate
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73. your heartbeat, and
help you function
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74. in earth normal gravity.
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75. - Plus, the ladies
love a man in uniform.
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76. - It's good to maintain
your sense of humour.
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77. Any personality
changes might imply
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78. the spores are chemically
altering your mind as well.
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79. - Hey, Sha Shan, you
didn't come to my party.
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80. - Mheh, why would I?
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81. - What— and— ha, ho-hoo.
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82. You didn't understood.
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83. See, I invited you as my date.
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84. Don't you know who I am?
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85. - Only the best quarterback
M cubed has ever seen!
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86. - The reason the
Mustangs won State.
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87. - The hero who threw the winning
pass at cost of life and limb.
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88. Duh!
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89. Erg.
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90. - I know who are, Flash.
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91. We're in Bio together.
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92. Like, I've never seen
you throw a pass,
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93. but I've seen you set off the
sprinters in the lab— twice.
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94. - Fine— walk away.
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95. You think you're all that?
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96. I can date any girl I want
in this crummy school.
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97. - Reputation,
reputation, reputation—
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98. oh, I have lost my reputation.
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99. I have lost the immortal part
of myself, and what remains
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100. is bestial.
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101. - Ugh, I have to
get to the paper,
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102. but I'll drop you at home first.
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103. - You mind if I tag along?
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104. I got a paycheck
waiting at The Bugle.
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105. - Sure kid, get in.
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106. We can split the fare.
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107. - Sorry, I guess that's the sound
of me kissing a normal life
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108. good bye.
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109. - (VOICEOVER) Ha, been
there, kissed that.
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110. Uh, well, maybe shutting
the door on normal
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111. can open a window on—
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112. - What are ya babbling about
Parker, he's infected!
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113. It's not contagious—
eyes front.
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114. - I-I'm just saying.
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115. He's been given great power.
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116. Maybe great responsi—
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117. - What?
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118. What?
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119. What?
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120. Spider-Man's back in black
and on a crime spree!
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121. - What?
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122. - I want everyone on it— victim
stories, eyewitness accounts.
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123. Oh, and the headline, "Oh
What a Tangled Web We Weave."
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124. Hmm, I have finally got what I
need to take the web head down.
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125. Hold the front page,
Robbie, I'll call you back.
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126. You can take the web head down.
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127. - Ah, e-e-excuse me?
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128. - Look at ya, boy You got
the costume, the powers.
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129. All you'll need is a hokey name.
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130. Uh, Captain Mask!
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131. No, that's too hokey.
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132. Strong Man!
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133. Nah, that's too generic.
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134. Uh, he's got a Colonel?
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135. Colonel Jupiter!
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136. That's it!
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137. - But, Pop, you—
you hate superheros.
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138. - When did I say that?
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139. Every
hour on the hour.
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140. - Nah, I hate masked heroes.
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141. What are they hiding, anyway?
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142. But you're an
astronaut, the world
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143. already knows and loves ya.
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144. You love him, right?
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145. Johnny boy, you can be the one
to bring Spider-Man to justice.
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146. - But what if Spidey's innocent?
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147. - Don't confuse the issue.
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148. - Oh, I can't believe
someone is posing
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149. as me, framing me— again.
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150. Please be Chameleon, please
be Chameleon, please be—
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151. Uh oh.
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152. Can you move?
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153. Can you unlock the door?
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154. - Ugh, uh, you again?
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155. - Oh no, not again.
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156. See I'm the real— wha!
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157. Unh.
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158. - Like looking in a mirror,
bro— the fun house kind.
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159. - "Why strew'st thou sugar
on that bottled spider,
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160. whose deadly web
ensnareth thee about?
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161. Fool, fool!
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162. The day will come to curse this
venomous bunch-back'd toad."
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163. - A villain!
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164. Villain!
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165. Smelly, cursed, villain!
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166. At one might smile and
smile, and be a villain!
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167. Go villain!
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168. Hoo!
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169. Yeah!
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170. - Bro, it's been too long.
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171. - Whoa!
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172. Better call it in, get help.
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173. Wait, I am help.
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174. Come on Jameson,
you're not seriously
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175. thinking about leaping tall
buildings in a single bound?
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176. Colonel Jupiter away!
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177. - So I'm a little confused.
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178. Do you want to frame
me or squash me?
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179. - You make it sound
so complicated.
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180. All we want is to destroy every
single aspect of your life.
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181. Is that so wrong?
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182. - Can I take a paincheck?
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183. I have actual human
beings to save.
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184. - No go, bro.
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185. When you're done,
the whole world
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186. will hate you— almost
as much as we do.
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187. - Hi, uh, I'm, uh,
Colonel Jupiter.
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188. I saw the fire, I
thought I could help.
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189. - Thank you, young man.
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190. - Glad I could help.
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191. - (FROM BEHIND) Help!
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192. - This way, stay low, come on!
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193. That's it.
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194. One at a time.
No ticket required.
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195. - Mum!
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196. - (GASPING) Who are you?
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197. - Colonel Jupiter, ma'am.
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198. - (FROM ABOVE) Mum!
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199. - Happy to be of service.
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200. - Is there anyone in here?
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201. - Get lost!
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202. - I-I'm afraid I can't do
that, mister— parrot.
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203. - Get lost!
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204. Rah!
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205. Get lost!
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206. Rah!
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207. Get lost!
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208. - You good?
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209. - Yeah, enjoying the hero thing?
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210. - Oh-ho-ho, yeah.
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211. - You know, we should think about
making this a regular thing.
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212. Half as many Ock
arms, the Sinister Six
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213. divided into the
manageable threes.
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214. I could get used to—
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215. - There he is!
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216. Spider-Man made me crash.
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217. The fire's his fault.
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218. - And then what?
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219. I stopped for a quick
change of clothes?
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220. It wasn't me.
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221. - I'll help you explain
it to the police.
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222. - A-and answer a few easy
questions like, what's my name?
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223. No thanks.
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224. - It'll Be OK.
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225. Don't fight me on this.
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226. - Ack, oh.
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227. Ahhh.
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228. - Sorry, gotta swing.
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229. But let's do the team
up thing again sometime.
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230. - Petey, have you been smoking?
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231. - Y-y— wh-what?
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232. No!
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233. No, I— I'd never smoke.
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234. - (VOICEOVER) It would
however put my Spidey
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235. suit on without
washing it first.
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236. Oh, gross.
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237. - Say something, please?
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238. - I'll see you in class.
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239. - Sweet!
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240. Do you smell barbecue?
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241. - Uh.
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242. - Sha Shan win.
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243. She's like totally
immune to the Flash.
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244. - 'Cause she's got a brain?
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245. - Exactly.
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246. So you're going to tell me how
to make her go out with me.
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247. - Me?
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248. Why me?
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249. - Because A, some
how you got Gwen
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250. and Liz to like
your scrawny butt.
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251. And two, you tell anyone, you'll
spend the rest of junior year
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252. stuffed in that locker.
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253. - Well, I— eh, I—
I guess you could
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254. try taking an interest
in the things she likes.
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255. - Drama, huh?
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256. Ha, how hard could it be?
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257. - Doubt thou the stars are fire?
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258. Doubt that the sun doth move?
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259. Doubt truth to be a liar?
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260. But never doubt I love.
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261. - Such spirit!
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262. Such passion!
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263. Now that's the kind of
audition I like to see!
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264. Thank you, my dear.
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265. The cast list will
be posted tomorrow.
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266. Next!
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267. - QB 1 is ready for his tryout.
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268. - Uh, you'll have
to wait your turn.
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269. - Doesn't anybody know who I am?
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270. - The strange web
of crime continues,
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271. as Spider-Man defaced City Hall.
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272. - If Spidey wasn't responsible,
then why did he run?
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273. You're making a big
mistake, web head!
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274. - Stacy, you have one
second to explain
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275. why Spider-Mask
isn't behind bars!
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276. - Pleasure to see you too, Jonah.
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277. - Maybe I can help.
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278. You heard about this
Colonel Jupiter?
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279. - You mean, your son?
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280. - Well, that's beside the point.
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281. What's the point?
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282. Here's the point—
he single-handedly
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283. rescued a billion people from a
fire, covering 90 city blocks.
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284. Deputise him, and
he'll have the web
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285. head on a chain
gang in 5.1 seconds.
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286. - But which web head, Jonah?
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287. This is a recent security tape.
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288. And this is older footage.
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289. Look, the fighting
style, the suit,
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290. the build— they're
all different.
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291. - The camera adds 10 pounds.
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292. That bug's still
terrorising our city.
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293. - This isn't the first time
The Bugle got it wrong
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294. when a copycat dressed
up as the web slinger.
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295. Now you really want
to embarrass yourself
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296. and your paper— again?
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297. - John?
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298. - You were right about
Spider-Man all along, Pop,
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299. but I'll crush him.
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300. - Well, uh, see, the
cops aren't 110% sure
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301. the real Spidey is the problem.
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302. Uh, for now, why don't you
save some cats, kiss a couple
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303. a babies.
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304. The city'll eat it up.
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305. - No!
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306. Spider-Man is mine.
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307. And I'm going to
stop him permanently.
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308. (ON PHONE)
Johnny, Johnny,
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309. that's the sporks talkin'.
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310. They're confusing your brain.
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311. - (ANGRILY) Colonel
Jupiter is not confused!
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312. - C'mon Venom, where are you?
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313. - Spider-Man!
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314. - Hey, Colonel, I'm
glad you're here.
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315. I— I could use a little—
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316. - Oh, it is excellent to
have a giant's strength,
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317. but it is tyrannous to
use it like a giant.
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318. - Easy, Colonel.
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319. Look I— I'm sorry about that
little dust up after the fire.
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320. - Who are you kidding?
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321. You can't trick me by
switching costumes.
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322. There aren't two bugs in
this city shootin' webs.
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323. - Oh, believe me,
I've got my trademark
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324. lawyers working on that.
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325. Whoa!
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326. - Myeah!
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327. (VOICEOVER) The spores
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328. must have altered
his brain chemistry.
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329. - Nyeah!
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330. - Uh!
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331. - Nyeah!
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332. - Ohh!
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333. (VOICEOVER) That's it!
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334. Doc Connor said
electricity only had
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335. limited success
destroying the spores.
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336. But maybe the problem
was limited electricity.
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337. I just need to lure him to the
nearest major source of juice.
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338. (ALOUD) Hey, Colonel Stupider!
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339. Is it true you're getting
denser by the minute?
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340. - It's working.
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341. Yay.
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342. - You can't run
forever, web head.
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343. - My least favourite
part of the plan.
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344. - Now you'll learn the
true meaning of power.
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345. - You want power?
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346. Try 2 million volts!
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347. —Noooo!
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348. - I will be brief.
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349. Your noble son is mad.
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350. Mad, call I it.
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351. For to define true madness, what
is to be nothing else but mad?
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352. This is supposed to be English?
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353. - The spores are completely
out of your son's system.
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354. He should eventually be able
to resume a normal life.
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355. - (WEAKLY) I— I miss the power.
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356. (ANGRILY) I— I need it!
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357. I have to get the power back!
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358. Give me back the power!
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359. Give it back— umph.
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360. Must get the power.
(WEAKLY) Must— the power.
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361. I must have it
again— the power.
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362. - We'll give you some time alone.
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363. - Don't know anyone named Max.
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364. My name's Electro.
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365. Electro, I tell you!
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366. - Another one of yours?
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367. - All right, slowly, no pushing.
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368. - Oh, Glory, we're in!
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369. - Thank you, Shakespeare.
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370. - You too, Kenny.
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371. - Tight.
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372. - Harry, you got a lead!
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373. - Congratulations!
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374. - Yeah, thanks.
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375. Just a sec, OK?
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376. Uh, Dad?
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377. Dad, I got the lead in the play!
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378. Plus, I have a girlfriend now.
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379. Uh, did— did you just
say you're proud of me?
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380. - (VOICEOVER) I
have to find Venom.
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381. It's not safe for Gwen
or anyone I care about.
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382. I miss the Colonel already.
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383. - Petey, I made the cast!
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384. - Uh, w— wow!
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385. Th— that— that's great!
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386. - Hey, you made it.
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387. Cool.
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388. Suppose this means we'll be
seeing a lot of each other.
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389. - That seems unlikely since
you aren't on the list.
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390. - What?
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391. - Uh, obviously the
director's incapable
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392. of recognising a
natural charisma!
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393. - I'm so stuffing
Parker in a locker.
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394. - This is all Spider-Man's fault!
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395. He destroyed my son.
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396. If I ever get my hands on
that wall crawler, I'll—
Copy !req
397. - You want the wall crawler?
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398. - No!
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399. - Then here's a scoop—
Peter Parker is Spider-Man!
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