The Sopranos 5x5

1. - Yeah! Whoo!

2. - Dad.

3. - Hey.

4. - What are you doing here?

5. - Well, I got an office here.

6. You come down with Finn?

7. - And some people.

8. - Promise me no, uh, drinkin' and drivin'.

9. - Who's your designated driver?

10. - I'm not the one with all the dents in their car.

11. All right, have fun, huh?

12. Need some money?

13. Have a good time, sweetheart.

14. Be careful!

15. - You see Meadow? - Yeah.

16. I wish I knew she was here.

17. I wonder what the fuck she's thinkin'.

18. - I'm sorry, Ton.

19. Some kid had a seizure upstairs.

20. It's been a horrible night.

21. - Hey, Ton, Vito and Gene just called.

22. They're five minutes away.

23. - We're leaving. Here.

24. All right, uh, call 'em and tell 'em to meet us

25. at Bud's Butter Bun on Broadway and 18th.

26. - All right.

27. - Did I just see your father?

28. - He's got an office here.

29. - Saturday night?

30. That's dedication.

31. The guy sure can put in the hours.

32. - Let's go someplace else.

33. - Tony's spendin' so much time at the club.

34. - You think that might have something to do with you?

35. - Oh, if you think I'm gonna blow this guy

36. for your sick purposes, you are sadly mistaken.

37. - So go on about this phone call the other night.

38. - It was just some guy with a Southern accent.

39. Christopher grabbed the phone

40. and yelled at him for callin' the house.

41. Said he'd see him down there.

42. - Down where?

43. Did you check the log on his cell?

44. - Not since I almost got caught doin' that,

45. and I am not doin' it again.

46. - Wait'll he goes into the shower.

47. See if there's a 4-0-4 or 3-3-6,

48. and memorize any other numbers you don't recognize.

49. - Oof...

50. - What's the matter?

51. - I gotta go to the bathroom.

52. - I know, you said. - No, I, g...

53. I-I gotta go.

54. Number two.

55. - I'll take you to your car.

56. - No, I gotta go now.

57. Oh, my God.

58. You okay?

59. We're almost there.

60. Try to relax.

61. - Don't you got a general anesthetic or somethin'?

62. This lidocaine didn't do much.

63. - And we are... done.

64. Jan, wanna do your thing?

65. - Just keep a little pressure.

66. - All right.

67. I'm gonna get this down to the lab.

68. See what's what.

69. - Okay.

70. There we go.

71. You okay?

72. - You think he got it all?

73. - We hope so.

74. Meantime, there's a canteen on level I.

75. I'll let you know when the results come back.

76. - Does having a bowel movement relieve the pain?

77. - Yeah.

78. - Would you describe the diarrhea

79. as loose or liquid?

80. - Liquid.

81. But this is gettin' so I'm afraid

82. to be away from the toilet.

83. I'm so scared I'm gonna have an accident.

84. - Is this tender?

85. - No.

86. - Sit up.

87. How's your personal life?

88. - What do you mean?

89. - Well, sometimes GI disturbances

90. are stress-related.

91. Is there anything unusual

92. that might be giving you the jim-jams?

93. - I just want somethin' for my stomach

94. so I can quit goin' to the bathroom.

95. That's what's givin' me stress.

96. - Why don't you get dressed?

97. We'll talk in my office.

98. - I hear you're spending time with today's youth.

99. - You lost me.

100. - Meadow said she saw you at Adriana's club.

101. - I gotta explain my business to you now?

102. After so many years?

103. - No, it's your life, Tony.

104. - Got that right.

105. - What'd you do to your head?

106. Did you fall again?

107. - Banged it on the medicine chest.

108. Don't worry about it.

109. It's nothin'.

110. There's your allowance.

111. Now, that actually looks like fruit.

112. - Yeah, it's so hard.

113. - What do you do it for?

114. - Irritable bowel syndrome?

115. - He'll know more when the tests come back.

116. I still gotta bring him a stool sample.

117. - Jesus, please.

118. - You were the one who yelled at me to go to the doctor.

119. - I gotta know every detail?

120. - I could be really sick, Christopher.

121. - Yeah, my Aunt Josephine had colon cancer.

122. Her whole asshole rotted out.

123. - I may have to go into therapy.

124. Plus, they might put me on Prozac.

125. - For diarrhea?

126. - To help me cope and handle stress,

127. which is a lot of what causes it.

128. - What do you gotta be stressed about?

129. That bar?

130. - War, Christopher.

131. The Middle East.

132. - You don't listen to the president?

133. We're gonna mop the floor with the whole fuckin' world.

134. The whole world's gonna be under our control,

135. so what are you worked up about?

136. - Oh, give me the Orioles over the Tigers for two

137. and the Jays over the Rangers, three Gs.

138. - I'll just get my day planner.

139. - No, I'm done.

140. My stupid car.

141. 5,000 miles, and the alternator's goin'.

142. - What about you?

143. Mimi said you went to the doctor.

144. - I've been havin' trouble with my stomach.

145. That's why I'm drinkin' White Russians.

146. - Wh-what? You got ulcers already?

147. - It's called IBS.

148. - What's that?

149. Irritable bowel syndrome.

150. - My mother had that all her life.

151. See this?

152. - Yeah, I noticed that, what happened?

153. - It's cancer. - What?

154. - Yeah, squamous.

155. - Oh, my God, that's terrible.

156. - Well, they think they got it all.

157. Knock wood. Just... cancer.

158. The things that run through your head, you know.

159. - Sure.

160. - I got a top guy, though.

161. Katz.

162. Hesh recommended him.

163. Naturally.

164. So this... disease you got.

165. What causes it?

166. - I did a Google on it, and, like, the doctor, too,

167. they... they all say a lot of it's psychological.

168. So on top of everything, now I'm a head case.

169. - No, come on.

170. Stop blamin' yourself.

171. - Christopher don't wanna know.

172. Not that I blame him.

173. - Ah, I gotta take off.

174. AJ should be comin' home from his volleyball thing.

175. Listen, don't say anything to anybody, okay?

176. People hear "cancer," they start to bury you already.

177. - And you don't tell anybody what I told you.

178. - All right, take care of yourself.

179. - Say hi to Anthony.

180. - Yeah.

181. - You're such a good father.

182. I wish my dad had been like that.

183. - 'Night, dear.

184. - It's a straight shot on I-95 to Raleigh.

185. You give this shit to the fence,

186. I'll meet you in Winston-Salem,

187. we'll load up the cigs and come home.

188. - We're pickin' up so many cigarettes.

189. Why don't we, instead of two vans, rent a deuce and a half?

190. You know, share the drivin'.

191. - Because the cops.

192. The van's under the radar.

193. - Erik Estrada over here.

194. - Forgot your folic acid.

195. What is all this stuff?

196. A beauty parlor chair?

197. - If they even heard of electrolysis down there.

198. - Where you goin'?

199. - Jesus Christ, go back to bed.

200. - What the fuck's your problem?

201. - My fuckin' tooth is killin' me.

202. - Well, you should go back to the dentist.

203. Why do you have to go anyway?

204. Can't they just drop this stuff off?

205. - Tony wants me to talk to the guys down there.

206. - The jerk you were yellin' at on the phone?

207. Is it the cigarette thing you were talkin' about?

208. - Six different kinds of dope

209. you get to take for a stomachache.

210. I got a fuckin' impaction, I can't take shit

211. besides oil of clove 'cause I'm sober.

212. - I know, it's hard. I'm sorry.

213. Have a nice trip.

214. I love you. Call me.

215. - She's got diarrhea.

216. - Whoops.

217. - You want?

218. - Ah, twist my arm.

219. - I'm expectin' some guys from New York, so...

220. - No problem.

221. I got plenty to do out there.

222. Ah...

223. Who's this on? - Oh, please.

224. It's called The Lost Boys.

225. Sil's been raggin' on me all week

226. for me to play 'em here.

227. Their manager or somebody owes him money.

228. So, uh, I thought this was your day off.

229. - Chrissy's away.

230. I don't like stayin' home alone.

231. Although at least I can pour a glass of wine

232. without him givin' me "the expression."

233. - Yeah. - Yeah, I know that look.

234. The, uh... the "constipated owl" look.

235. - You know, when I first met you,

236. I was scared of you.

237. - Really?

238. - Yeah, but I'm scared of everybody.

239. It's always my first reaction.

240. - Well, you're not scared of me now, are you?

241. - No.

242. - You... you wanna shoot?

243. Huh?

244. Make it interesting, sawbuck a game.

245. - Mm?

246. - No, it's... it's the round thing,

247. in the middle there.

248. - How you feelin'? Everything all right in here now?

249. Your stomach all right? - D-don't...

250. I know what you're doin'. Don't distract me.

251. - Oh.

252. Ho! - Hmm.

253. - I've been hustled.

254. - Oops. Did I get your toes?

255. - No. No, no, no, no, no.

256. - I'm so sorry.

257. - Come on, get up.

258. Come on.

259. - Ah, shit.

260. All right.

261. Wait.

262. Yeah. Go on.

263. - Tony here?

264. - Yeah, come on in.

265. Hey.

266. - Let me know if you guys need anything.

267. - What, are you gonna tell me about the traffic again?

268. - Here, our friend sent this for you.

269. Thank you for takin' the appointment.

270. And... and I know I'm on probation,

271. and... and I deeply regret...

272. what I did.

273. My nephew's fiancée.

274. I know what you're thinkin'.

275. - So?

276. - Well, nothin' happened...

277. but it could've, very easily.

278. I mean she really got to me, this young lady.

279. She, uh...

280. What?

281. - This is a very big step.

282. - Yeah, tell me about it.

283. - I mean, that you've come here to talk about this impulse

284. instead of just acting on it without thinking.

285. - No, I always think.

286. - Really? - Yeah.

287. - Having sex with your mistress's cousin,

288. like the mistress wasn't enough to piss off your wife.

289. Tell me about the niece.

290. - She's drop-dead gorgeous.

291. I mean, someone like her, I could...

292. I could do it right this time.

293. I could start a whole new family.

294. I'm young enough.

295. Fuck 'em all.

296. - And this is something you're contemplating?

297. - What?

298. It'd be a disaster.

299. Of major proportions.

300. Carmela, I-I-I'd get hosed financially.

301. There'd be no reasonin' with her after that.

302. And... and my nephew, it... it would kill him.

303. After years of groomin' him to be my number two.

304. And it'd be very bad for the girl.

305. She doesn't deserve that.

306. I mean, I'm not stupid.

307. I know part of it's this father-figure thing

308. and, you know, on account a hers ran off.

309. - It would be like committing an act of symbolic incest.

310. - Whatever.

311. Look, what am I gonna do?

312. I-I got lucky the first time

313. 'cause I was able to control myself.

314. But you only get one of those.

315. - Rationalizing.

316. "I can't control myself."

317. You can.

318. - I don't know.

319. It's different for women.

320. It's all about up here with them.

321. - She could make a play for you.

322. You might wanna think about

323. how you're going to establish limits and boundaries.

324. For example, you could tell her

325. she means a great deal to you,

326. but you think of her as a daughter.

327. - Even if I wanna fuck her brains out.

328. - This is a milestone for you.

329. You're at a very important crossroads.

330. For once, you want to avoid

331. doing something you know is wrong

332. and would be destructive, both to yourself

333. and to the people you care about.

334. That's growth.

335. That's progress.

336. - Just tell me what I'm supposed to do.

337. - You have to be honest with yourself.

338. I know this is a powerful urge,

339. but if you can't keep it in your pants,

340. you have to stay away from her.

341. You know...

342. Not long ago, you stood in my outer office.

343. I recall you used the words "drop-dead gorgeous" about me

344. and how you had to have me.

345. I said I wouldn't date you, and look, you survived.

346. - What a horrible fuckin' job you have.

347. How do you do it?

348. - But what happens now is your choice.

349. Act, and create a bed of misery,

350. or you can look at this as a chance to do something good.

351. You say she respects you.

352. Be worthy of respect.

353. See if you can remain a... a friend to this woman.

354. A help to her.

355. - You know, Tony had ducks one time.

356. In his pool.

357. - You need to find out where Chris went.

358. - I'm gettin' this vibe from him.

359. - Who? Tony?

360. - He's really nice,

361. and he listens.

362. - He's kind of attractive.

363. Definitely an alpha male.

364. But what if Christopher found out?

365. - What?

366. I'm not gonna fuck him.

367. - Then what are you talking about?

368. - I love Christopher, and sooner or later,

369. we're gonna get out from under all this shit

370. and leave this fuckin' state.

371. - Jesus Christ.

372. She's a good-looking woman,

373. and she wants to fuck Barney Rubble?

374. "We really don't know him.

375. He listens."

376. - Tony, hi.

377. - Hey. How you doin'?

378. Well, why I'm here... Patsy's bringin' somebody by.

379. I'm gonna need to use the office.

380. - No problem.

381. I made a resolution.

382. I gotta start spendin' a lot more time on the floor.

383. Crack the whip.

384. I'm beat, tell you the truth.

385. I think I'm gonna grab, uh, 40 winks

386. till Patsy gets here.

387. - You don't have Chrissy's cell, do you?

388. He called, but he didn't leave a new number.

389. - He'll probably try you again.

390. He's due back tomorrow.

391. Oh, excuse me.

392. I'll come back. - No, I'm all right.

393. Mole back there looked irregular around the margins.

394. Every time I see anything now, I think I got melanoma.

395. - I can imagine.

396. Hi, it's Adriana at the Crazy Horse.

397. Yeah, I need a car, please.

398. Just tell him to wait outside.

399. - What? Your car, still? - Yeah.

400. They're replacing the alternator.

401. - You want a belt?

402. What I could really use

403. is some...

404. - I wouldn't say no.

405. - Get me motivated to clean the house

406. before Christopher gets back.

407. Except I'm all out.

408. - It's 2:00... uh, cross-eyed Billy

409. probably left the Bing already.

410. - I know a guy, Andre. He's always up.

411. - Well, cancel the car.

412. I'll give you a ride.

413. - You know who thinks you're cute...

414. is Marlene.

415. - She's gotta be over 30, isn't she?

416. - She's 31.

417. - You know who you ought to introduce me to

418. is that friend of yours.

419. - Who?

420. - The one you brought over to the house that time.

421. Tall, kind of blondish, brownish hair.

422. Danielle from Whippany.

423. - She's dead.

424. - What? - Yeah.

425. She... she dr... drowned on a picnic.

426. - Oh.

427. You know, I thought I picked up on somethin'

428. between her and me.

429. I'm not tryin' to be conceited.

430. - Tony!

431. - I've reviewed your chart

432. and ruled out internal injuries,

433. so you're free to go.

434. I'll have the nurse process your discharge orders.

435. - Whoa, whoa.

436. This was a very bad accident.

437. I mean, are you sure you did all the tests?

438. I can afford it.

439. - I did the appropriate tests.

440. I hold a medical degree from Johns Hopkins.

441. My grandmother was the first black woman licensed

442. to practice medicine in Delaware.

443. - All right, take it easy.

444. The young lady that I was with, uh, they said she was okay.

445. But could I see her?

446. Ade.

447. - Hi.

448. - They say you're gonna be fine.

449. They just wanna keep you here for observation.

450. You know, be on the safe side.

451. - I don't even remember what happened.

452. - There was a raccoon in the road.

453. I swerved.

454. - How's your car?

455. - Escalade?

456. It's totaled.

457. Probably saved our life.

458. - Are you okay?

459. - Yeah.

460. They're gonna let me go.

461. - I wanna go too.

462. Chrissy's comin' home today.

463. - We should probably talk about that.

464. - Oh...

465. Yeah.

466. Right.

467. - Dude, how you doin'?

468. - I hit the fuckin' mother lode.

469. 20 Gs of product a week.

470. Little Paulie's behind me with the other half.

471. - Fuck me.

472. - Now, 20% of this load,

473. they can stamp the packs for the vendin' machines.

474. The rest, the cartons can go straight to the bodegas,

475. let them worry about the stamps.

476. I'm beat.

477. I'm gonna hit the fuckin' rack,

478. have Ade cook me up a nice carbonara.

479. - Uh... - What's the matter?

480. - Don't know how to tell you, but Adriana's in the hospital.

481. She was in an accident.

482. - What? When?

483. Last night around 2:00.

484. - Jesus Christ, what happened? Is she all right?

485. - She got banged up, but she's gonna be okay.

486. - The drinkin' and drivin'.

487. I told her! Jeez.

488. Where is she?

489. - Mount Mercy in Dover. - Dover?

490. - Apparently, they swerved to avoid a deer in the road.

491. - "They"?

492. - Her and Tony.

493. - Tony? Soprano?

494. - Uh-huh.

495. - I-is he all right?

496. - Not a scratch.

497. The fuckin' luck on this guy.

498. - Yeah.

499. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dover.

500. Right, she's got an aunt she's close to out there

501. who's been sick.

502. She's, uh... she's friends with Tony's aunt.

503. All right, somebody take me to get my car.

504. I better get over there.

505. Fabio, put it up!

506. - I thought I'd die in there without a cigarette.

507. What, so you're just not gonna talk?

508. I almost got killed, Christopher.

509. - I'm just curious.

510. What the fuck were you doin' in the middle of the night,

511. in the middle of nowhere, in a car with my uncle?

512. - He was drivin' me home.

513. - Fuckin' Dover? - We were talkin'.

514. W-we were goin' to get somethin' to eat.

515. I get off of work, I don't wanna go right home.

516. You weren't even there.

517. - No, I was in a fuckin' Ride-A-Rent,

518. bustin' my ass with a bunch of rednecks,

519. makin' a livin' to buy you alcohol and coke

520. and all the other shit you shovel into your mouth!

521. 2:00 in the fuckin' mornin'?

522. Don't fuckin' lie to me!

523. I can't stand it!

524. - Nothin' was goin' on, Christopher!

525. - I should've made you walk home.

526. - I swear to God.

527. - You know how this looks?

528. Don't talk to me! You shut your mouth!

529. You wanted to see me?

530. - Adriana okay?

531. She's fine.

532. People who don't clean up after their pets...

533. Pop this in that basket for me, will you?

534. It was blind luck, that accident.

535. Cop told me he thought he was comin' up

536. on a fatality when he saw the car.

537. I'd be thinkin' the same thing if I were you,

538. but it's not true.

539. - I don't know what you're talkin' about.

540. - Her car was in the shop.

541. I was drivin' her home from work.

542. That's all.

543. We were lookin' to get a burger.

544. - In Dover. - What difference does it make?

545. You don't seem to give a shit she almost died.

546. She could've been paralyzed or... or... or scarred up.

547. And you got a puss on?

548. - What were you doin' out there

549. alone in a car with my fiancée?

550. - We were talkin' about you, you selfish prick,

551. and how you're the best thing that ever happened to her.

552. - Oh you don't think this fuckin' devastates me?

553. - Well, frankly, you scored so far over your head

554. when you got her, what do you expect?

555. - The fuck are you talkin' about?

556. - She's a knockout. A ten.

557. And look at you.

558. You're average, at best.

559. So you better reconcile yourself with that,

560. or you're gonna be fuckin' paranoid your whole life.

561. - Oh, so this is my fuckin' fault now?

562. - Nothin' happened, and I'm not gonna say it again.

563. And you should've married that girl two years ago.

564. - Everybody knows

565. you've been the biggest fuckin' cooze hound around

566. the past four or five years.

567. Your mid-life crisis.

568. You'd fuck a catcher's mitt.

569. - On everything I hold sacred,

570. on my children,

571. there's nothin' goin' on between me and Adriana.

572. - Tony walked away without a scratch,

573. but Adriana suffered a severe blow to the head.

574. - Adriana got caught givin' the big guy a blow job.

575. - And when the paramedics found them,

576. she had his cock still in her mouth.

577. - Well, a statistic shows that most single-car fatalities

578. are the result of guys

579. popping their load behind the wheel.

580. - Apparently, he came all over the sun visor.

581. - Sanseverino.

582. - Guess who went down on Tony soprano.

583. - That's the truth. It's fact.

584. - If it was my old lady, the next thing she'd suck

585. is a tailpipe. - That pretty little trim

586. can suck this pipe anytime she wants.

587. - Like you'd ever have a shot.

588. - Hey, let me tell you somethin'.

589. When Christopher was in rehab,

590. she was callin' me all the time.

591. I was this close.

592. - Then you got a problem,

593. 'cause your braciole's isn't even that long.

594. - What's so funny? - Nothin'.

595. - Didn't sound like nothin'. I wanna hear the big joke.

596. - Take it easy. We're just shootin' the shit.

597. - We were just talkin' about my braciole.

598. - Oh, yeah, what about it?

599. - So, deal you in, huh?

600. - I asked him a fuckin' question.

601. - What are you breakin' my balls for?

602. - I want a fuckin' answer.

603. What's so fuckin' hilarious, you fuckin' parade float?

604. - Ho!

605. I'm a fuckin' captain now.

606. You don't talk to me like that!

607. - Oh, come on, guys.

608. - Don't put your hands on me!

609. - Chrissy, for Chrissakes...

610. - Fuck all of youse.

611. - Oh whoa, whoa! - Hey!

612. - Motherfucker!

613. - Hold it. - Easy.

614. - Vinar, Jimmy, please join me.

615. So talk to me, guys. How are we feeling in these?

616. - Hey, hon. I already ate.

617. There's a casserole in the mic...

618. - You fuckin' lyin' bitch!

619. - Ow! Stop it! What are you doing?

620. - You were suckin' his cock!

621. Georgie told me everything!

622. The surgeon on the operating table

623. said you were moanin' Tony's name!

624. - What are you talking about?

625. - Fuckin' lie to me!

626. What were you doin' in Dover, then?

627. See?

628. See? You can't tell me,

629. 'cause I know what you were doin'!

630. Your other dope dealer's there.

631. I remembered. Go ahead, deny it!

632. - Okay!

633. I was goin' out to see Andre,

634. but I wasn't suckin' anybody's cock!

635. How could you say that?

636. - Oh, so you two were just gonna go

637. toot up a bunch of lines, go fuckin' bird-watchin'?

638. - Oh, you son of a bitch.

639. I was gonna stay up all night

640. and clean this fuckin' shithole!

641. - Everybody knows about it!

642. Everybody's talkin' about it!

643. - No, please!

644. - You want me to use, you bitch!

645. You're fuckin' killin' me!

646. - No, I don't! I love you!

647. Stop it.

648. You motherfucker! - Fuckin' whore.

649. Ow!

650. Ow! My neck!

651. - Get the fuck outta here!

652. I never wanna see you again!

653. - I thought you had an algebra test.

654. - Oh, chill out.

655. - What did you say?

656. - L-look, I studied for 45 minutes straight.

657. Don't I get a break?

658. - Hey.

659. What's up?

660. - Oh, AJ, how's it goin'?

661. - Hey, Uncle Tony.

662. - Did I come at a bad time?

663. I need to talk to you.

664. - AJ, go upstairs.

665. Study.

666. - Well, what about the pizza?

667. - Now.

668. Study.

669. All right, what's up?

670. - I went to the Belleville Tavern after work,

671. and Larry down there said

672. our little cousin was in there all fucked up.

673. Somebody told him what was goin' on in the car.

674. - Was nothin' goin' on in the car.

675. - No, of course not, but he thinks there was,

676. so he started drinkin' again, and he beat up Adriana,

677. and he threw her out of the fuckin' house.

678. - Where's his fuckin' self-control, this guy?

679. - Little Paulie's out there lookin' for him

680. to reign him in,

681. but he was sayin' some crazy things about you.

682. - Oh, this goddamn kid.

683. - Christopher's not right in the head, Ton.

684. I mean, who the fuck knows what he's capable of?

685. - Well, he knows where to find me.

686. You see him, you tell him that.

687. - Gotta use your john.

688. - Get you a day early, huh?

689. I'll go to the store in the morning.

690. - Look, relax, all right?

691. Go whenever you want.

692. - What the hell is wrong with him?

693. - What do you want, Tony?

694. He couldn't bring this in himself?

695. - What, I can't even come in and say hello?

696. - What you want is to know if I heard

697. the disgusting shit they're saying.

698. At least have the guts to come out and ask me.

699. - It isn't true.

700. - You know what? Fuck you!

701. - Fuck me? Fuck you!

702. - You gotta put your son in hiding

703. because of your fucking philandering?

704. Afraid he'll get caught in the crossfire?

705. Your own son?

706. - Christopher's upset, that's all.

707. He could come over.

708. He could say some things

709. that a kid shouldn't hear.

710. - Just please leave.

711. I don't even wanna look at you.

712. - Motherfucker!

713. Motherfucking gun!

714. - Give me two.

715. - This kid ain't gonna show up, T.

716. He's probably in some gutter.

717. - Yeah, hopefully he's wore himself down.

718. - Where are you, you fuck?

719. He's got a gun!

720. - I know you're up there, you motherfucker!

721. Why don't you come out...

722. - You know what to do down there!

723. - Fuckin' lucky!

724. You're fuckin' lucky I ran outta loads!

725. - Shut up, you little cock,

726. or I'll split your fuckin' wishbone.

727. - It's all over.

728. Everybody... enjoy the evening.

729. Unhappy customer.

730. - Let me the fuck go!

731. I'll kill all of youse!

732. Fuckin' kill all of youse!

733. Ahh...

734. - You draw down on the boss of a fuckin' family?

735. Huh?

736. - You lied to me!

737. You were scorin' coke with her!

738. She admitted it! - So what?

739. I can't relieve stress every once in a while?

740. I don't got enough fuckin' problems?

741. - You sent me to North Carolina

742. so you could fuck my girlfriend!

743. - What kind of fuckin' animal you think I am, huh?

744. The thought never even entered my head!

745. - You're a man, you're alone in a car with her...

746. - You fuckin' pushed me to this.

747. You pushed me to this!

748. - Way I see it, Tony,

749. he must've known the gun was empty.

750. Look what he pumped into your car.

751. - What are you tryin' to say, Paulie?

752. The fuck you tryin' to say, Paulie, huh?

753. - Either you tell me right now

754. that you can take it into your heart

755. that I did not do this shit...

756. Or this is as far as we go.

757. Motherfucker.

758. - Tony, come on!

759. Listen to somebody else for a change.

760. - Fuck him.

761. - Tony, try it my way.

762. Listen to me.

763. - Mr., uh, Sorriano, what seems to be the matter?

764. - Soprano. I'm fine.

765. It's my friend, here, needs to talk to you.

766. - Well, you know where ER admitting is, right?

767. - Look, uh, you got someplace maybe we could talk?

768. It's 3:00 a.m.,

769. and I just finished a 17-hour rotation.

770. - Any gunshot wounds or broken kneecaps?

771. - Two minutes.

772. You're an excellent doctor.

773. That's why I brought him here.

774. Come on.

775. This gentleman here is the fiancé

776. of the young lady that I was with.

777. Now, he's got it into his head

778. that there was oral sex goin' on

779. at the time of the wreck.

780. - Listen, I... - Hey, hey, hey!

781. Just a second.

782. Now, naturally, he's very upset,

783. so I need you to tell him there wasn't.

784. - He's obviously feelin' the pressure.

785. He's just gonna fuckin' lie.

786. - I'm not in the custom of lying about anything,

787. but whether somebody was getting something in the car,

788. how could I possibly attest to that?

789. - Well, as the attending, you could explain

790. how medically, it's not possible.

791. - Excuse me? - Well for instance,

792. if she was wearing a seatbelt, then there would have been

793. abrasions to the lateral anterior aspect

794. of the clavicle, wouldn't there?

795. Or the right mid-sternum?

796. - Are you a physician?

797. - No, I'm a pre-board certified massage therapist.

798. - So did she have any of those kind of things?

799. - Actually, yes,

800. on the right clavicle and the sternum

801. just above the xiphoid process, which...

802. would indicate an upright position

803. at the moment of impact.

804. - So what he's sayin' is that she was sittin' up.

805. - All right.

806. Thank you, doctor. Come on.

807. For the kids, the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

808. Whatever, here.

809. - Thank you!

810. - What do you want from me?

811. I guess I believe you.

812. - You threw food at Vito.

813. That's gotta be resolved.

814. - He was fuckin' laughin', which was wrong.

815. But at this point, now it don't make no difference.

816. Even if it wasn't true, it's what people think.

817. They know you were out there scorin' coke with her.

818. - What do you care what people think?

819. You know the truth.

820. - I gotta live in the world.

821. And now I look like Joe Jerkoff.

822. - No-no-no-no.

823. You know what?

824. I might as well have fucked her.

825. Thanks.

826. - Hello?

827. - I rang the doorbell six times.

828. Nobody answered.

829. - What are you doing here?

830. - I wanna talk to you.

831. - If you came to pick him up, he's not going.

832. - Oh, so you believe all that shit they're sayin', huh?

833. Am I that horrible?

834. Really?

835. - Where there's smoke, there's fire.

836. I don't know what you did.

837. What's gonna happen when your children hear about this?

838. Meadow already suspects you.

839. - Suspects what?

840. - She saw you at the club.

841. She said she thought you were coked out.

842. - What are you talkin' about? I don't do drugs.

843. - She knows about the accident.

844. What do you think she's gonna think?

845. And with Anthony at that age?

846. - Oh, come on, the kids!

847. The kids... this is about you!

848. - Fine, so it's all about me!

849. What, do I mean nothing to you?

850. That I gotta live with this swirlin' around me?

851. - All right, look, forget about what they're sayin'.

852. I-I'm asking you.

853. You think I'd have sexual relations with her?

854. Adriana, who's gonna be a member of this family?

855. Now, I want you to answer me truthfully.

856. Look, I-I know I haven't been a fuckin' saint, all right,

857. and you got plenty of issues of your own on that subject...

858. but you haven't exactly been a fuckin' saint yourself.

859. No, no-no-no-no. Come here.

860. You think I would go near that girl like that?

861. - Thank you.

862. Look, I'm askin' you to pull with me

863. to put a good face on this thing,

864. for the sake of the kids and their... and this family.

865. - I gotta bail you out?

866. It is never-ending, your bullshit.

867. - Use a fuckin' crosswalk!

868. - Jesus Christ.

869. - Don't get all excited.

870. Most of it's from the accident.

871. - You okay?

872. - What do you fuckin' think?

873. Kicked out of my house, I may have ulcerative colitis,

874. and you call me up.

875. - We'd like your permission

876. to put a listening device in your business.

877. This relationship with Tony could net us a lot of chatter.

878. Don't forget it's him we're after.

879. - There is no relationship!

880. - The faster we get Tony and put him away,

881. the sooner you can get on with your life.

882. We can get a court order to install a device anyway,

883. but this'll make our lives simpler.

884. - Fuck you.

885. I do enough for you people.

886. You're not buggin' my club.

887. - Adriana, it's a syndrome, protecting abusers.

888. - If it would've been Christopher alone

889. in a car with a woman, I would've killed him.

890. - Arthur's sending something over, with his compliments.

891. - Thank you.

892. - Thank you.

893. - Enjoy.

894. - I'm gonna go over there.

895. Nice to see you, Ton.

896. - Oh, thank you.

897. - Gravy's good tonight. - Oh?

898. - Nice to see you.

899. Hope you have a pleasant evening.

900. Ladies.