The Sopranos 6x18

1. Whoa whoa whoa whoa!

2. Stop dumping. Stop dumping.

3. - What is matter? - Lower your bed.

4. You can't dump here no more. You need to talk to your boss.

5. Always we are dumping here.

6. Caballero, put the shit back in your truck.

7. What? That is huge job!

8. Where I am supposed to be dumping this now?

9. Asbestos.

10. I just now find out it's asbestos you've been dumping over there.

11. What did you think it was?

12. I never asked.

13. Tampax— what the fuck do I know?

14. Well, now you know.

15. You and your friend there Stefano have been pocketing how much

16. on this cowboys-and-Indians asbestos removal?

17. Billing the townships

18. like you're following all the EPA regulations.

19. You got the same scam, Phil, so why don't we cut through the bullshit?

20. How much you figure you're owed on this?

21. - 25%. - Don't be an asshole.

22. You know, there's close monitoring at every fucking landfill.

23. Maybe if somebody had been upfront with me from the beginning.

24. Nobody's been hiding nothing. I had the same dumping deal with what's-his-name,

25. the operation's manager since I've been there at Barone Sanitation.

26. You're not there no more. I am.

27. You're enjoying your generous severance package.

28. 25%-- that's not gonna happen.

29. You've got a backyard, a pool, dump it there.

30. That's my only other suggestion.

31. He's got us by the gazz'. I'll tell you that.

32. Unless that guy at the Pennsy landfill decides to play ball.

33. That asshole's shitting his pants he'll get pinched by the EPA.

34. Frankly, Ton',

35. I'm thinking maybe we should meet Phil's number.

36. Why? I think that would set a terrible precedent right now.

37. Just bend over...

38. when he just became boss of the family over there?

39. Yeah, well, that's the flying ointment.

40. Even still, I say let him have it.

41. Life's too short.

42. What is this, "Make-Believe Ballroom"?

43. How many times you gonna change the stations?

44. This "Departed" soundtrack's fucking killer.

45. - You got it? - Yeah, it's good.

46. Regarding, Phil, I gotta ask:

47. whatever happened to "stop and smell the roses"?

48. You're right.

49. You're right.

50. You can't fight every fucking battle, right?

51. Asbestos...

52. Each day's a gift.

53. Every time I look at my kid, that's what I realize.

54. And that shit with Junior, please.

55. Just that people like Phil,

56. they're not on that page—

57. take those roses and stick 'em up your ass, thorns first.

58. This system's got no balls.

59. So how was your party that day at the house?

60. Slow the fuck down, will ya?

61. Maybe you should go back, Heidi.

62. Kennedy, I'm on my learner's permit after dark.

63. Ton'...

64. you gotta... help me.

65. I'm coming.

66. I'll never pass the drug test.

67. What?

68. You gotta get me out.

69. I'll lose my license.

70. Never pass a drug test.

71. Call me a taxi.

72. 911.

73. We've been in an accident.

74. Old Pumping Station Road...

75. past the reservoir.

76. Sorry about that.

77. My friend...

78. guy I came with, how is he?

79. Your friend is dead. Paramedics called it in the ambulance.

80. Breathe in, please. Hold it.

81. Do you know a contact number for his next of kin?

82. His wife.

83. - Hello. - May I speak with Carmela Soprano?

84. - Who is this? - Nurse Alma Rosario,

85. St. Clare's Hospital, Denville. Is Mrs. Soprano there?

86. Yes, this is Mrs. Soprano.

87. I'm here with your husband. He'd like to speak with you.

88. - Carm. - Tony, is everything okay?

89. Are you sitting down?

90. - I'm serious. - Yes, I'm in bed.

91. All right, listen.

92. Sweetheart, there's been an accident.

93. We were coming back from the city and...

94. - Christopher's dead. - Oh my God!

95. All right.

96. - Carm. - What happened?

97. He drove off the road and the car flipped over.

98. - I'll tell you in detail. - Are you okay?

99. I just banged my knee, the one from high school.

100. I'm fine, but...

101. he wasn't wearing a belt.

102. Where are you, St. Clare's?

103. Listen, they're gonna call Kelli if they haven't already...

104. Just get AI and Rita on the phone

105. and get 'em started over there.

106. All right, all right. Oh my God, Tony, he's dead?

107. Yeah.

108. All right. L-let me get dressed.

109. Thank you.

110. Mr. Tony, Mr. Sil is here.

111. Okay.

112. Mrs. Carmela say you should stay in bed.

113. Have him come up.

114. We're right here, Ton'.

115. We came as soon as we heard.

116. - Ton'. - Patsy went to Chrissy's mom's house.

117. - Yeah, that's where Carmela is. - Carlo's coming up.

118. Yeah.

119. - How you doing, Ton'? - My knee got banged up.

120. They said it's probably gonna be okay.

121. Last thing I remember was...

122. we pulled away from Phil.

123. Skid marks all over the place, the cops told Carm.

124. He had a heavy foot, that kid, always.

125. Almost put me through a billboard one time.

126. - Hey, Ton'. - Come on in.

127. I'm so sorry, Ton'.

128. I still can't believe it.

129. Thanks. I know you two were close.

130. I was making my collections

131. and Anthony Maffei called me. Jesus.

132. It's Carlo, I bet.

133. Fucking idiot didn't even have his seat belt on.

134. His chest filled up.

135. Suffocated on his own blood.

136. - Oh, Jesus. - Jesus Christ.

137. Seems like that's the cause of death.

138. It's not Carlo. I heard AJ.

139. Carlo's coming up?

140. What's with you and Carlo's fucking arrival?

141. - I'm just saying. - They're gonna do

142. a full blood test on him. See, you know,

143. if alcohol,

144. - drugs or... - It did occur to me.

145. He didn't seem high, did he?

146. Are you kidding? I would have been furious.

147. I would have fucking strangled him.

148. He'd been working the program ever since he threw Little Paulie

149. - out that window. - Let's not go there.

150. Even before that he was battling that shit.

151. He gave it his all.

152. Well, anyway, he's gone now,

153. our Chrissy.

154. Crazy fucking maniac.

155. The thing to take to heart, T,

156. you're here. You're all right.

157. You could have been killed, for fuck's sake.

158. What are you gonna do?

159. Thanks.

160. Whoa. What are you doing?

161. No no no, I gotta try and get up.

162. I gotta go and meet Carm over at Chrissy's.

163. Kelli and all that.

164. I'll make you a plate.

165. - Get me a Scotch. - Are you serious?

166. Yeah, and have one yourself.

167. They were close, the two cousins.

168. You all right?

169. I know I had my differences with that kid,

170. but maybe I didn't do right by him, neither.

171. If you were his dad, I was his Dutch uncle,

172. and what the fuck did I do but get pissed off,

173. fight with him over cocksucking fucking money?

174. I'd break his balls when he tried not to have a drink

175. or a little taste of snow.

176. It's over, Paulie.

177. Did anybody ever hear from the hospital?

178. I was waiting till Kelli woke up.

179. They found cocaine in his blood.

180. - Madonn'. - 'Cause of death was a hemothorax.

181. Yeah, airbags can crush the ribs when there's no other restraint.

182. They said he might have made it,

183. but he didn't.

184. Couldn't have worn his goddamn seat belt?

185. - No wonder. He was whack-a-doo. - Al, just stop it.

186. Aw, baloney. He leaves our granddaughter fatherless.

187. My only child!

188. Drinking won't help, honey.

189. Jesus Christ.

190. Look at this. Syracuse is losing.

191. I don't know what to say.

192. - What? - I just got a call from Little Paulie.

193. Nucci Gualtieri died.

194. Stroke on the bus back to the home.

195. They had gone to see "Jersey Boys."

196. This is difficult.

197. This is pain

198. like I'm not used to.

199. We've said before he was like a son in some ways.

200. To see him die like that...

201. practically in my arms.

202. He was just starting his life.

203. Yeah.

204. You know what?

205. - This is bullshit. - What?

206. I haven't been able to tell anybody this, but...

207. I'm fucking relieved.

208. Really?

209. He was a tremendous drag on my emotions,

210. on my... thoughts about the future.

211. Every morning I wake up thinking,

212. "ls today the day that one of my best friends

213. is gonna dime me to the FBI?"

214. And a weak, fucking sniveling,

215. lying drug addict? That's the worst kind of bet.

216. The biggest blunder of my career

217. is now gone.

218. And I don't have to be confronted by that fact no more.

219. And as a relative, a friend,

220. someone you can count on...

221. I see.

222. Let me tell you something:

223. I've murdered friends before, even relatives—

224. my cousin Tony,

225. my best friend— Puss.

226. But this...

227. Was I talking in my sleep?

228. Snoring.

229. I'm gonna put on the TV if you don't mind.

230. I can't stay asleep either. I'm all...

231. I mean, I can laugh and cry, and I could always get the part.

232. - First time? - First time. Never can keep it.

233. They got onto me after a while.

234. I'd lose my voice, fall down, get red in the face,

235. talk too fast and couldn't act.

236. Can you make me a cappuccino?

237. That fucking machine from Paulie, you need a pilot's license.

238. It's so hard not to think of Christopher as a child, isn't it?

239. Caity kind of looks like him, which makes it doubly hard.

240. Of course that's not gonna do her any favors

241. when she hits puberty— that schnoz.

242. A lot of women found him very attractive.

243. I think to myself,

244. how could I have ever said those things about him,

245. about him and Adriana, what her mother said he did to her?

246. Obviously he was violent as an adult.

247. His upbringing, but he adored Ade.

248. He could never let himself take her life.

249. Why are we so quick to blame?

250. What is the attraction in that?

251. It's good.

252. Thank you.

253. When I called you...

254. the night after the accident,

255. and you asked me,

256. "Oh my God, Tony, he's dead?"

257. Yeah.

258. And I thought—

259. well, I thought I picked up a twinge of...

260. - relief. - What?

261. It just seemed like— I don't know—

262. How could you say that? You don't know what you're talking about.

263. Okay, good, I'm wrong.

264. Maybe if you did pick up something like that,

265. maybe it's because I was relieved...

266. that it was him and not you.

267. Well, don't feel bad about that. That makes sense.

268. To be going down to the hospital again

269. at 2:00 in the morning?

270. And you know what? When you were shot,

271. it was Christopher who held me.

272. You know the baby's car seat?

273. A giant tree branch came through the window

274. and demolished it.

275. She would have been dead, Caitlin,

276. mangled beyond recognition.

277. I told her about the baby seat

278. so she wouldn't feel so rotten.

279. I mean, he was high as a fucking kite. I didn't tell her that.

280. In retrospect, maybe not the best approach.

281. Right, I'm the asshole... again.

282. What?

283. No, go ahead.

284. It's amazing how things work.

285. His mother, my cousin Joanne,

286. a lush.

287. Totally abandoned him as a parent,

288. but now she's reaping all the sympathy

289. and the tears.

290. How are you doing, Anthony?

291. There have been some hard moments.

292. But a weak, lying drug addict

293. who fantasized about my downfall,

294. who even showed people his filthy thoughts

295. on a movie screen...?

296. Let me tell you something: I've seen friends die before,

297. accidents,

298. even murder.

299. My cousin Tony, they shot his face away.

300. And I was fucking prostate with grief.

301. But this?

302. I see.

303. And it occurs to me, I hand-carried this kid

304. through the worst crisis he ever had.

305. I can't go into particulars, but...

306. wives, girlfriends,

307. they can complicate life in a major way.

308. I don't have to tell you that.

309. Anyway, huge problem of his own making.

310. And he cried. He couldn't deal with it.

311. So...

312. I took up the slack. I handled it.

313. I felt sorry for him.

314. Now he talked gratitude...

315. but guess what pity produces in the recipient.

316. They shit on your pity.

317. That's what broke the camel's back.

318. How are you handling all this?

319. The worst part, truthfully,

320. is I gotta sit there

321. with people who are hurting... bad.

322. And I gotta have the long face

323. and the sighing and the platitudes.

324. But I don't feel it.

325. Then that makes me feel like a hypocrite.

326. And that makes me mad at them.

327. Oh, hi.

328. How are you?

329. Julianna Skiffle,

330. this is my wife Carmela Soprano.

331. Skiff.

332. Oh, yeah, right.

333. Julianna's a real estate agent in the old neighborhood.

334. And you knew Christopher?

335. I used to buy my meat at Satriale's.

336. I'm a recovering addict.

337. - I owe him a lot. - That's nice to hear.

338. - Well, what are you gonna do, huh? - Nothing you can do.

339. That's my point.

340. He was too young.

341. Good-looking woman.

342. They did a beautiful job on him.

343. Oh, I'm gonna go up.

344. I'll go up later,

345. give my seat to someone in the meantime.

346. How are you doing?

347. - It's tough. - Yeah.

348. He loved you so much.

349. - Yeah? - Well, you know he did.

350. I'll go up later.

351. There she is. 3 to 5, 7 to 9.

352. Why do they call her that?

353. She never misses a wake.

354. Oh, Lord, oh, Lord!

355. Fucking James Brown now.

356. I'm serious. I can't take it.

357. It's all right. We're here for you.

358. Oh my God. Look at this.

359. - Like a movie star. - Jackie Kennedy.

360. - I'm sorry for the loss of your cousin. - Thanks.

361. Me too, bro, me too.

362. He was a good guy.

363. Hey, don't let this linger

364. on your head now.

365. You know what I'm talking about.

366. You know that night,

367. a tree limb came in through the car window,

368. completely destroyed the baby seat.

369. Tony.

370. You guys are gonna hang in a while, right?

371. We really should make an appearance at the other wake.

372. Are we that late?

373. Glad you came.

374. - He'll appreciate it. - Oh, please.

375. I gotta get out of here.

376. - Paul. - Ton'.

377. Thanks for coming.

378. We are so sorry for your loss, Paulie.

379. How you hangin' in, Paolucc'?

380. As well as can be expected.

381. Must be very hard for you.

382. I know how close the two of you had become again.

383. Yeah.

384. Not much of a sendoff here.

385. - The room is beautiful, Paulie. - Nobody's in it.

386. What kind of testament is this

387. to the spirit and generosity of the woman?

388. We're here for you, Paulie.

389. You know that.

390. Okay.

391. It's a fundamental lack of respect

392. and I'm never gonna fuckin' forget it, neither.

393. Jesus, Paulie, people your mother's age, their friends die off.

394. What, she outlived Sil? Carlo?

395. They're all over there at your nephew's.

396. - Yeah, but— - Councilman Carillo

397. was here three minutes. I clocked him.

398. He told Gerry he was going to the Moltisanti wake.

399. People are comin' and if they don't, fuck 'em.

400. I got 500 prayer cards.

401. Well, Carm and I are here.

402. What the fuck is that? Nothin'?

403. No, Ton', of course not.

404. - Means the world. - Okay.

405. She suffered too, you know.

406. Yeah, well, this isn't the time or the place.

407. You're right.

408. How have you been dealing with it?

409. It's really sad but it's kinda the same as with Blanca.

410. I mean, I don't really just keep thinking about things the way I did—

411. over and over, you know?

412. Well, for one thing, perhaps the meds are working.

413. Did you finally enroll?

414. I'm in a few classes

415. unofficially, until my transcript clears from Ramapo.

416. Beginning English.

417. Oh, and I went to a class on the history

418. of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

419. - Wow. - It's hard to pick up in the middle.

420. I might take it next semester.

421. I mean, it's so dicked-up over there

422. and no one knows who started it.

423. - Are you sleeping? - What? In class?

424. No. You were having trouble, remember?

425. Wellbutrin XL kicks ass.

426. I'm hearing good things about the Lexapro.

427. Check it, paisan. Long John shithead.

428. That kid's in my South American Lit class.

429. He had his toes amputated.

430. He said it was an accident with his car battery.

431. Acid burned right through his shoe.

432. Oh, you little shfooyadell.

433. She should nurse.

434. At least somebody feels like eating.

435. She doesn't know.

436. Isn't God wonderful that way?

437. - Hello? - Alan, it's Tony. You busy?

438. Usual shit— some Japanese guy

439. got his suit ruined at Cirque du Soleil.

440. - Listen, I need a suite. - So all the guys coming out?

441. No no. I'm solo.

442. Oh. We'll see what we can do about that.

443. Look, I just want to be alone— peace and quiet...

444. - ... chill out. - You set for transpo?

445. I'll be happy to send a plane.

446. No more bets.

447. 33 black odd.

448. No more bets.

449. Five red odd.

450. It's hard to imagine for a poet,

451. but Wordsworth was as rich and popular

452. as, say, someone like

453. John Grisham nowadays.

454. But Wordsworth writes

455. "The world is too much with us."

456. Later, he invokes nature again.

457. Why such strong words against the material world?

458. That was fast.

459. The gatehouse usually gives

460. shitty directions to the east tower. Come in.

461. So...

462. You're a friend of Chris.

463. Yeah... Tony, by the way.

464. No, I know.

465. He's mentioned you, actually.

466. Well, I heard nothing but nice things about you.

467. Except... you're more beautiful than he let on.

468. - Really? - Talked about ya...

469. a few times, told me more than once to look you up.

470. Did he?

471. Well well well.

472. You want a drink or something?

473. I got some pinot grigio in the fridge.

474. I got some, uh...

475. serious news.

476. - Uh-oh. - It's about Christopher.

477. - He's dead. - What?

478. It was a car accident,

479. happened a couple days ago.

480. Oh my God.

481. That's fucking awful.

482. I'm sorry.

483. - What happened? - Bad wreck...

484. high-speed...

485. He was killed instantly.

486. Somehow, I walked away.

487. Jesus, that must have been scary.

488. The fuckin' sound alone...

489. Did he ever...

490. marry that one girl— the one who left him—

491. No.

492. Found a real sweetheart, though— Kelli—

493. and...

494. they just had a baby girl.

495. Maybe that's good, you know?

496. I mean, bad that he left her,

497. but good that he— he left something.

498. I thought you should know.

499. Well, um...

500. Extremely cool, you coming over here. I appreciate that.

501. - How long you here for? - I don't know.

502. Just play it as I go.

503. - What's up? - It's Stefano.

504. Look, I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm here at the school.

505. The asbestos, it's backing up.

506. I've gotta dump this shit.

507. It's not wrapped to code and all the other violations—

508. - Yeah? - I could get nailed big time.

509. We're workin' on it, John.

510. I'm trying to negotiate it out,

511. but the asshole's taking a hard line for now.

512. Just hang in there, let me do my thing.

513. All right.

514. - Whoa. - Jeff'll clean it up.

515. Make him clean it in his bare feet.

516. I got the venison steaks!

517. Oh!

518. Oh!

519. What the fuck? You blind?

520. Me? You open the door, you don't look at all.

521. Aw, shit, you wrecked my fuckin' door.

522. - You did that to your own door! - Whoa whoa whoa.

523. What the fuck did you say?

524. I said he opened the door, he don't look at all.

525. Look at my fuckin' bike!

526. - Do you hear this guy? - You saw it!

527. Fuck you, nigger.

528. I am not a nigger!

529. I am from Somalia! I go to school and I work!

530. Do not call me a nigger!

531. So you're some terrorist piece of shit.

532. Either way, motherfucker, you're in the wrong neighborhood.

533. Get the fuck away!

534. You a tough nigger now?

535. You got something to say?

536. Cocksucker!

537. Do you mind?

538. No, knock yourself out.

539. This is the—

540. this is the new shit—

541. medical-grade, mellow,

542. paranoia-free.

543. Oh, well, that's good.

544. Oh, Chris loved to party.

545. What's your point?

546. Nothing. You just...

547. remind me of him, obviously.

548. What's that mean? I fuck like him?

549. So much for paranoia-free.

550. No, you were his friend, that's all.

551. Why would you bring him up?

552. All I'm saying

553. is that there's a certain kind of guy

554. that I don't run into on campus.

555. But where I dance—

556. that accent, the clothes.

557. I'm a type?

558. This coming from the girl who's stripping her way through college?

559. Actually, you're a surprise.

560. Chris sometimes talked about some sad shit,

561. but you seem— I don't know—

562. actually sad.

563. Not right now I'm not.

564. Jesus, this is some pretty fucking amazing dope.

565. Chris said you two...

566. took peyote together.

567. Yeah.

568. I mean, I haven't done buttons in a while, though.

569. You know, I've been thinking why the fuck I'm here.

570. You can get to that place.

571. No. No, I mean Vegas.

572. Truth is I always wanted to try that shit...

573. but I always had

574. all the responsibilities.

575. You're a hard man to reach.

576. Nobody's seen hide nor hair.

577. Yeah, I'm away. What do you want?

578. What do I want? I'm returning your call.

579. I think this got nothing to do with asbestos.

580. Why don't you let go of the old shit and be a businessman?

581. - You got everything you want. - Not everything.

582. But listen, allow me to express my condolences

583. regarding your nephew.

584. This is me hanging up.

585. - I can tell you're upset. - Big fucking deal.

586. - What exactly happened this week? - Nothing.

587. You know, people walk around like this is all something.

588. They're fucking laughing

589. and nobody takes even one second

590. to think about what's really going on.

591. You sound depressed again.

592. How can anybody not be? You'd have to be fucking nuts

593. not to be.

594. I mean, you'd have to have your head wedged so far

595. up your ass that all you could see

596. is your own stupid face.

597. What specifically are you talking about?

598. I mean, everything is so fucked up.

599. Why can't we all just get along?

600. You don't have to chew it.

601. You just wash it down like a pill.

602. It's the same principle as the solar system.

603. No more bets.

604. - 24. - Yes.

605. Nice.

606. Press it all.

607. No more bets.

608. 20.

609. Holy fucking shit.

610. Here.

611. Much appreciated.

612. No more bets.

613. 24 again.

614. - He's dead. - What?

615. What?

616. What?

617. I get it.

618. I get it!