1. Ah, that's so funny! Ha ha.
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2. No, it isn't! You just
poked me in the eye!
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3. Well, you poked me first.
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4. I can't find the thing.
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5. Here.
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6. I don't know what the fuck
happened to the DeWalt.
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7. Everything disappears around here.
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8. Especially now that I'm outta the
house. She lets everything go.
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9. Stop, stop, Uncle Tony!
It's freezing cold!
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10. Uncle Tony, knock it off!
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11. She wants to talk to me about somethin'.
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12. Thanks for havin' us up here, Ton'.
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13. Don't put pine cones in the filter!
The hell's the matter with you?
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14. - Yo, Dad, he's hitting me!
- Hey, what did I say?
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15. They will probably go
through their entire lives
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16. not knowing that their father's sperm
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17. was smuggled out of jail
to get Nancy pregnant.
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18. It was the least I could do.
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19. I just remembered what
happened to the power drill.
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20. Pardon me?
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21. I loaned it to your cousin
Brian. And he never gave it...
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22. - What's the matter?
- I don't know.
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23. One of your attacks?
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24. No, it... I think it's just indigestion.
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25. It's goin' away.
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26. - I had an attack... full blown.
- What did your therapist say?
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27. - I don't see her no more.
- Why not?
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28. You think you're the only
one that has to cut back
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29. on shit they need
'cause of the separation?
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30. Now, what's on your mind?
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31. Mr. Wegler wants us
to come in and discuss
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32. AJ's lousy academic performance.
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33. Is this the same Wegler?
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34. Last year... the riccion
with the Billy Budds?
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35. AJ got him as a college advisor.
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36. I told this kid to start
crackin' the books.
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37. Was he supposed to do
that after he got back
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38. from the Nets game you
took him to on a school night?
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39. It's gotta be hard for him,
this situation with us.
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40. - Why don't you cut him some slack?
- That's your department.
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41. I get to be the prison warden
over here while you indulge him
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42. Brand new drums, just like that?
Don't even look in the classifieds.
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43. Just tell me when the school meetin' is
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44. 'cause I don't have to listen
to this shit anymore.
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45. That's why we're separated!
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46. Are you kidding me, Tony?
That is not why!
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47. Jase? Were you knocking?
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48. Hi, Lorraine. I'm Billy.
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49. What the fuck? Jason!
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50. Ow, no! Jason!
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51. Jason!
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52. Oh, no!
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53. You were warned, Lorraine.
The money goes up to John.
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54. Fuck!
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55. Lorraine Calluzzo and the kid Jason.
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56. Fuckin' Philly Leotardo!
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57. She told me he warned her
about givin' us points of her take.
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58. Phil's a pimple.
It's goddamn Johnny Sack.
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59. It's his message to the other
captains, that fuckin' animal.
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60. - Take it easy.
- Fuck that.
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61. Rusty! The car's here.
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62. I'm telling you, Carmine,
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63. we go all out, we'll steamroll
right over John.
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64. And I predict the guys on the
street in Brooklyn and Queens,
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65. they'll welcome us as fuckin'
heroes. It'll be easy.
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66. It's a fuckin' declaration
of war by Johnny, if ya ask me.
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67. - Hey!
- Ho.
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68. There he is. Let me kiss the ring.
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69. How about the one in
the center of my ass?
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70. - Hey.
- Feech, good to see ya, baby.
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71. Good to see you. Hello there, kid.
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72. - Hey, how are ya, boys?
- How are ya, Feech?
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73. Just, uh... talkin'
about that mess over in New York.
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74. Sounds to me like your friend John
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75. wants to force Little Carmine's hand.
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76. In my day, the top spot
would've gone to Little Carmine,
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77. unless he was actually retarded or
crippled or something. He's the son.
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78. Come on, when was that?
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79. Yeah?
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80. - Vodka rocks.
- Thank you, dear.
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81. Anybody else?
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82. If we need anything else,
one of the kids'll come out.
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83. Ton', you didn't have any
lunch. You want a sandwich?
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84. No, I'm all right. Thanks.
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85. Adriana, hold on a second.
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86. Tommy Pinto's goomah,
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87. when I was comin' up she had the
long legs, up to here, like that.
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88. Famous beauty, smart as a whip.
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89. My compliments.
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90. Thank you, baby.
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91. You drove Tommy Pinto?
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92. I was at the Clam Broth House the night
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93. he beat that longshoreman
to death over a corner table.
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94. - No shit.
- Here we go... Memory Lane.
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95. It's important these
young guys know the history.
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96. Tell 'em about the time Tony and Jackie
Aprile knocked over your card game.
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97. Oh, that he doesn't like to talk about.
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98. I heard this. This is
a great fuckin' story.
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99. He should be dead by now.
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100. They bust in, couple of fuckin' punks.
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101. Guns out. Bad guys.
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102. This one is fuckin' scared!
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103. First of all, it was my game.
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104. Feech has forgiven,
even if he hasn't forgotten.
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105. But it's a great yarn, right, Feech?
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106. Yeah.
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107. Actually, it brings me to my business.
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108. Fellas, you wanna give us a minute here?
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109. Yeah.
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110. So, what's up?
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111. I came to ask for my game back.
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112. It's my uncle's game now, Feech.
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113. Yeah right, your uncle's.
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114. You'll still keep a lion's
share of the rake.
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115. I'm in a way just askin'
if I can run it for ya.
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116. - Why would I need that?
- 11 years I ran it...
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117. no fights, no raids. Not to mention
that maybe I got it comin',
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118. considering how it could've gone for
you after you took the game down
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119. if I had been a prick about it.
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120. Or if his old man didn't
have so many friends.
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121. I'll give you 20%, but you gotta
rent the house from me.
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122. I could throw some
high rollers your way...
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123. friends of mine.
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124. All right.
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125. Let me get outta here before I keep
talkin' and fuck this up. Jesus.
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126. Thank you, Don Antonio.
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127. He's a strunz.
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128. He's a busybody, that's all.
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129. He's an egomaniac, Ton',
always was, always will be.
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130. Nothing's ever good enough...
praise, money.
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131. Comes into this fuckin' office,
starts orderin' people around.
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132. He's old.
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133. How do ya think that feels?
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134. Can I go to the Mudvayne concert or not?
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135. I've been trying to think of a reason
to let you stay overnight in New York,
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136. but I'm afraid it's not gonna happen.
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137. Todd's mother already made arrangements.
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138. - Said it's better than driving home.
- She's not your mother.
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139. Yeah, I know. Believe me.
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140. Isn't life unfair?
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141. So we're at the Peppermint Lounge,
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142. when in walks these two
stewardesses from Braniff.
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143. Everybody's in? Aces
high. Your action, Mr. Taylor.
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144. - 200.
- Hesh?
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145. They're sittin' at the bar.
We send 'em a bottle of Dom.
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146. Next thing ya know, we're in the hotel
room... me, Frankie and the two broads.
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147. - I see ya, raise ya three.
- You mother...
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148. But this one, this little pothead
from Texas, she fucked me dry.
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149. But she still wanted more!
She's fuckin' nuts.
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150. I'm wearin' these pointy featherweights
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151. and I stick the toe in
and I'm fuckin' her with it.
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152. I don't know where this story's heading
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153. but we should all be grateful
he wasn't wearing white bucks.
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154. The maid walks in. She
says, "What's goin' on?"
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155. And I say...
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156. Ante up, boys.
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157. Hello, girls!
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158. - Ho!
- Hey!
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159. Hi, Ton'.
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160. - Sir Lawrence from the Meadowlands.
- Your Highness, how are you?
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161. Tony, let me introduce
Bernie Brillstein.
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162. Did you get my list of toys?
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163. - What's up?
- Hey, Ton'.
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164. Oh, my cousin! Kinda high
stakes for you, no?
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165. Feech fronted my action. And thank
you for not humiliating me.
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166. Isn't there somethin' in your parole
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167. about hangin' out
with degenerates like this?
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168. - Oh!
- Come on, he gets away with anything.
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169. Last time his parole officer
made the unannounced visit,
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170. he gave him a massage.
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171. So how's Lady Luck treatin' you, huh?
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172. Jesus-fuckin'- Christ. How
many times this guy gotta say hello?
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173. What, did I interrupt one
of your impermeable stories?
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174. Go ahead.
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175. So...
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176. we had these girls in the hotel room.
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177. Long story short, I
got my shoe in her snatch...
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178. and it falls off and
she keels over. Che puzz'.
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179. Fuck it. This hand's from thalidomide.
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180. Three ladies, gentlemen.
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181. - Ah!
- Stake it.
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182. - Take it.
- The rich get richer.
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183. So Doc, how's the, uh,
plans for the wedding?
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184. Please. It's not a wedding
planner anymore.
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185. It's an "environment
and event coordinator. "
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186. What the hell. She's my only daughter.
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187. She and Iris have their
hearts set on makin' the Vows column
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188. of the Sunday "New York Times"...
featured couple of the week.
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189. Our publicist is lookin' for a hook.
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190. Turns out that Gillian's law degree
from Harvard means bupkis.
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191. Everybody's got that or better.
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192. If it was a black couple
or a gay couple they'd be in.
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193. My wife calls "The Times" wedding
section the ladies' sports page.
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194. So Ira, who's the lucky guy?
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195. Jeremy Silverman, puppeteer,
Children's Television Workshop.
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196. Father's Asa Silverman, head of commercial
paper at Goldman Sachs.
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197. - Upper Eastside.
- I didn't get my invitation.
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198. Fuck you.
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199. You told me to be sure
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200. to let you know
when it was a quarter of.
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201. - Thank you, Mary.
- Okay.
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202. So with Wesleyan as your fallback,
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203. I think we're in pretty good shape.
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204. Straight "A's at Middlebury's Language
Camp, can't sneeze at that.
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205. Your blues folkloric studies
in Mississippi last summer
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206. have an almost community-service
spin to them.
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207. I wish he had the minority
thing going for him.
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208. If we can nudge Lem's verbals
past 760 on the next round,
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209. he can basically write his own ticket.
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210. I'm stoked.
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211. Appreciate your help.
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212. Folks?
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213. So let me guess... he called
the English teacher "Daddy-o. "
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214. Oh.
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215. The thing is...
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216. we are rapidly
approaching crisis mode here
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217. with these grades, and
time is of the essence.
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218. Could I ask a question?
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219. I handed in my final list
of colleges. Did you get that?
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220. Yes, we talked about this.
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221. So, Ramapo and Trenton State.
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222. And our reach schools,
University of Arizona and Arizona State.
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223. I'll take him out there after I drive
him around to the ones in New Jersey.
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224. If either of the Arizona's is
what he's got his heart set on,
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225. he's not gonna get in with these grades.
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226. I know about football, Anthony.
That's our ace in the hole.
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227. He says he's tryin' his best.
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228. S.A.T. -wise, 505 and 430...
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229. I think we can edge up the math
into the fives in the next round,
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230. providing Anthony
can bear down and focus.
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231. He's had trouble with that before.
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232. Remember, Carm, when they
thought he had A.D.D.?
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233. - You didn't tell me that.
- Head on back to class. Let us talk.
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234. But if I'm learning-disabled, I
get unlimited time on my S.A.T.s.
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235. - Is that true?
- Let's talk about that later.
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236. So you had time to talk
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237. directly to Dr. Rapke about
last week's testing results.
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238. Yes. She said Anthony
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239. has good interpersonal skills.
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240. She said his affect was...
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241. now, where is this...
"constricted," she called it.
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242. But that was normal
for a teenager and...
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243. all in all he seemed to be
handling the split well.
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244. This is not to say I don't get a ration
of shit in every conversation.
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245. Pardon my French.
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246. Well, still, uh...
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247. there is this thing with his grades.
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248. Do you think it
would be of benefit to him
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249. to see a psychologist
on a regular basis?
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250. You don't approve of
therapy, Mr. Soprano.
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251. People use it as a crutch.
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252. And I always wonder
what happened to Gary Cooper,
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253. the strong silent type?
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254. Well, Gary Cooper wasn't
a 16-year-old boy.
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255. He was at one time.
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256. And I'm gonna have to agree
with my husband here, Mr. Wegler.
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257. We sent our daughter to a...
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258. an adolescent developmentalist
and it was a disaster.
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259. I know my son, he's lazy. We're gonna
get him a different S.A.T. tutor,
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260. I'm gonna stay on him and he's gonna
work harder. And that's that.
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261. - I might be learning-disabled. -
Didn't he tell you to go to class?
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262. What's going on, Mary?
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263. Domenica Paolini and Sasha Caputo,
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264. they were on their way to school
this morning and they hit a tree.
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265. Nica's dead. Sasha's in a coma.
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266. What's that?
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267. It was here when I got here.
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268. Okay, if a million zeroes can be written
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269. on the front and back
of a sheet of paper,
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270. how many sheets of paper do you
need for a googol of zeroes?
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271. Whoa!
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272. Oh man, oh baby, an Xterra SE.
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273. It's loaded. 3.3
- liter supercharged.
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274. - What, this is mine?
- Yeah.
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275. - You are unbelievable.
- The sticker's still on it.
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276. He doesn't have enough distractions?
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277. After what happened to those
kids at his school?
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278. It's got sensors in the seatbelts.
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279. It's part of Nissan's
triple safety philosophy.
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280. - Nice ride.
- Are you leaving?
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281. Hour's up.
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282. You're not getting in?
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283. This is so deck. What is this, Bose?
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284. Yeah, six CD changer.
It's got Surround Sound.
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285. I feel safer already.
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286. Carmela, this car is a tank.
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287. What's the matter?
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288. SUVs eat up more of the ozone.
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289. So you wanna be the sucker in a regular
car that gets decapitated?
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290. - I'm gonna catch shit at school.
- So what do you wanna do?
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291. Screw it. Can we take it out?
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292. Yeah, we can take it out. Once.
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293. Then this baby sits in the garage
till you pull your grades up to a "C."
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294. - What?
- You heard your father.
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295. I was talking to him, not you.
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296. I gotta put dinner on.
Tony, I have bills for you.
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297. You better be nice to your mother.
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298. She's got the keys
till your grades are up.
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299. I'll be right back.
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300. The car was a motivational tool.
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301. The carrot and the stick,
you gotta do both!
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302. I could strangle him sometimes.
He can be so hateful.
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303. Well, the smart mouth is not good.
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304. That's minor, believe me.
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305. God, what happened to him?
He was always the sweet one.
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306. He had the concept of sharing before
any of the other toddlers.
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307. Meadow was always sharper, but I
remember the same thing with her.
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308. It's like watching an angel fall.
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309. What, are you crying?
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310. Here's the tutor in writing
like you had to have.
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311. I had to call RotoRooter.
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312. This is a cheap sound system
for the media room.
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313. - Why should I pay for that?
- Because you took the last one.
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314. Oh, your little movie connoisseur
friends are still meeting?
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315. - At least I have friends.
- What the fuck's that mean?
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316. You just have a bunch of flunkies.
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317. What do you know about it?
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318. They compliment you on your new shoes.
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319. They tell you that
you're not going bald.
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320. You think they really care?
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321. You're the boss, they're scared of you.
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322. They have to kiss your ass,
laugh at your stupid jokes.
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323. What about Artie then? You're
turning into a frigging cynic.
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324. - Whatever.
- What do I give a shit?
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325. I'm running a fucking business
not a popularity contest.
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326. "I've been thinking,
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327. and I apologize for
my use of fowl language"...
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328. fowl with a "W"...
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329. "in regards to yourself.
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330. You said some very hurtful things to me
Copy !req
331. in regards to myself.
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332. But it is still no excuse to
use the vile word that I used,
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333. of which I am sure you know...
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334. that I'm talking about. "
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335. - "Cunt," right?
- Yes, Elliot.
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336. "You don't wish us to be social friends
Copy !req
337. and so that is that.
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338. I still have great rigard for you,
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339. even though you said
some horrible things.
Copy !req
340. P.S. I'm doing fine, Anthony. "
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341. It came with a bathrobe
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342. and a basketful of Dr.
Hauschka bath products.
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343. Ablution.
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344. The desire to cleanse
himself of the deed.
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345. Notice he still fundamentally blames me.
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346. - Hello?
- Mrs. Soprano? Robert Wegler.
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347. Oh, hi, hello, how are you?
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348. Uh... after our meeting the other day,
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349. I had some ideas about some further
strategies for Anthony.
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350. I thought maybe we could meet,
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351. have lunch, cup of coffee.
I could share them with you.
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352. - Next week perhaps?
- Really?
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353. Uh... well yeah, I guess
that would be okay.
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354. "Happy Birthday" by the Beatles.
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355. You know, I heard it
the other day in the car.
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356. They have such a good
drum solo in the middle there.
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357. "Drum solo"? That's
the basic four-four.
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358. You know Ringo was not their original
drummer. That was Pete Best.
Copy !req
359. And they fired him.
Copy !req
360. He put out his own album...
"Best of the Beatles. "
Copy !req
361. Sad.
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362. So, is this what
they call common ground?
Copy !req
363. Just trying to have a
civilized conversation.
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364. Can I go to my room? I'm full.
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365. Am I so horrible?
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366. You are not horrible. Get over yourself.
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367. "Over myself"? What
is that supposed to mean?
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368. Just go, do me a big favor.
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369. If you're gonna be a martyr,
obviously I'll sit here.
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370. No, go. Put your plate in the sink.
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371. 200.
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372. Two to go.
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373. - See, and raise four.
- Call.
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374. Tony, you liking the Escalade?
I can't keep them on the lot.
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375. I love it...
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376. after I pulled out that
global positioning shit.
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377. Oh, right.
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378. Always got his eye on the big picture.
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379. Up to you.
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380. I think you got that ace
and I'm not paying you for it.
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381. - Aces over.
- Three threes, my man.
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382. Paulie wins. Cards, please.
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383. You, fuck you.
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384. They used to be a great
tax loophole, those SUVs.
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385. Told all my clients,
write it off on your business.
Copy !req
386. Accountant dies, goes to heaven
same time as the Pope.
Copy !req
387. St. Peter says "Come on in!"
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388. Then he shows the Pope
to this shithouse.
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389. That's where he's gonna live,
and he gives him a crust of bread.
Copy !req
390. Then he shows the C.P.A.
where he's gonna live.
Copy !req
391. It's a fuckin' mansion...
servants, broads.
Copy !req
392. Pope says "He gets a mansion
and I get a hovel?"
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393. St. Peter says "Your Holiness,
Copy !req
394. we got hundreds of popes up here.
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395. This is the first Jewish accountant!"
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396. I used to be able to write off condoms.
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397. What do you get when you cross an accountant
with a giant jet airplane?
Copy !req
398. A Boring 747.
Copy !req
399. All right, all right, bet two.
Copy !req
400. Algebra, huh?
Copy !req
401. Listen,
Copy !req
402. I have been doing some thinking.
Copy !req
403. I've decided to let you stay
in the city after the concert.
Copy !req
404. How come?
Copy !req
405. On one condition, though...
no Hudson Suites.
Copy !req
406. I talked to Mead, she said that you
can sleep over at her apartment.
Copy !req
407. I will give you cab fare. When the
concert's over, go straight up there.
Copy !req
408. Sunday morning, I
want you home 10:30 sharp.
Copy !req
409. Thanks.
Copy !req
410. Don't stay up too late.
Copy !req
411. Come on! Go, go, go! Hurry!
Copy !req
412. So, you guys like your job?
Copy !req
413. Beemer, space 43.
Copy !req
414. Asa, come on!
Copy !req
415. Can I have your attention?
Copy !req
416. Apparently there's
been an armed robbery.
Copy !req
417. Some automobiles were taken.
Copy !req
418. They left all the American cars!
Copy !req
419. - Oh my God.
- I think his skull is broken.
Copy !req
420. - Oh my God!
- I'm a doctor, let me in there.
Copy !req
421. Brooke, our car is gone.
Copy !req
422. Now who's a genius
for keeping his Regal?
Copy !req
423. Asa, they got the SL.
Copy !req
424. That was a fucking SL55 convertible.
Copy !req
425. You know how long my brother was on
the waiting list for that thing?
Copy !req
426. A motherfucking year.
Copy !req
427. You want to go back to that?
Copy !req
428. Yes, I wanna go back to that!
Copy !req
429. - Hello?
- Hey, it's me.
Copy !req
430. - How was Mudvayne?
- They rocked.
Copy !req
431. Look, I... I don't think
I'll be able to make it up there.
Copy !req
432. What are you talking about?
You know mom's gonna call here.
Copy !req
433. I'm a total dick if I leave here.
Just tell mom I'm on my way up.
Copy !req
434. She's just gonna call back.
Copy !req
435. Come on, when do I ever
ask you for anything?
Copy !req
436. All right, you better stay there.
Copy !req
437. Be home on time tomorrow. I
don't want any shit from mom.
Copy !req
438. Frida, why do you and Diego
have separate houses?
Copy !req
439. Because we are two different people,
Copy !req
440. but our love makes us into one.
Copy !req
441. - Hello?
- Mead, hi.
Copy !req
442. Is your brother there?
He's not answering his cell.
Copy !req
443. - I know, he's asleep.
- What?
Copy !req
444. I probably shouldn't be telling you
this, but he was pretty zapped.
Copy !req
445. I knew it. Is he all right?
Copy !req
446. Mom, he's fine.
Copy !req
447. Just wait until you have children.
Copy !req
448. Not me, I'm never having kids.
Copy !req
449. So, how are things going?
Copy !req
450. We're in the middle of a movie, Mom.
Copy !req
451. Oh, I'm sorry. Good night.
Copy !req
452. Good night.
Copy !req
453. Come on, light the fucker up.
Copy !req
454. - Give me the lighter.
- It's on the table.
Copy !req
455. All right, go, go, go, go, go!
Copy !req
456. Go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go, go!
Copy !req
457. Go! Hold it! Hold it!
Copy !req
458. Open up, it's me.
Copy !req
459. Come on, open the fucking door!
Copy !req
460. Where's the patient?
Copy !req
461. I got a new easel,
new oils, I'm ready to go.
Copy !req
462. Salut.
Copy !req
463. Oh, the wedding? Wh...
what, do you got everybody outside?
Copy !req
464. - Ushers and everybody? Bring 'em in...
- It's a fucking disaster.
Copy !req
465. - What?
- Somebody hit us.
Copy !req
466. They stole all the fucking cars.
Copy !req
467. I had to sedate my own
little girl at her wedding.
Copy !req
468. Jesus.
Copy !req
469. Yeah, they had one of those... what do
you call it, those car carrier things?
Copy !req
470. And it was a very well
coordinated operation.
Copy !req
471. The cops are on it, but how much
faith have I got in that?
Copy !req
472. You gotta help me
before they're chopped!
Copy !req
473. I'm not really in that business, Ira.
Copy !req
474. Asa's brother's Benz was
taken. This special thing.
Copy !req
475. I'm fucking gernischt in Asa's
eyes now. Can't you do anything?
Copy !req
476. - I mean, make some calls?
- All that shit's insured.
Copy !req
477. He's obsessed with that car,
this fucking Stew guy.
Copy !req
478. The asshole paid a $30,000
premium just to place the fucking order.
Copy !req
479. His glasses, his daybook were in it.
Copy !req
480. AJ, it's your mother. Call me.
Copy !req
481. It's my mother.
Copy !req
482. I told you I can't put you through.
Room 417 has a block on the line.
Copy !req
483. I am not waiting. Who
knows what's going on?
Copy !req
484. God help you if anything happens
like those children in Westchester.
Copy !req
485. Don't! No, don't answer it.
Copy !req
486. My face is stuck to the rug.
Copy !req
487. Oh, they fuckin' crazy-glued you.
Copy !req
488. Housekeeping!
Copy !req
489. Oh, fuck, what
should we do? We're asleep!
Copy !req
490. All right, help me.
Copy !req
491. Ow, ow!
Copy !req
492. - Ow! Dude, take it easy.
- I'm trying.
Copy !req
493. Ahh ow, fuck.
Copy !req
494. Oh, dude!
Copy !req
495. Oh, fuck.
Copy !req
496. Oh, fuck me.
Copy !req
497. Hello.
Copy !req
498. Hi, yeah, it's me.
Copy !req
499. AJ stayed in the city with his friends
last night and he's not home yet.
Copy !req
500. - And I can't get in touch with him.
- Take it easy. Slow down.
Copy !req
501. He's probably just sleeping it off.
Copy !req
502. No, I called Todd's mother
and Todd came home.
Copy !req
503. He could be dead by now,
O.D.'d, God knows what else.
Copy !req
504. - God, why did I let him go?
- He's all right.
Copy !req
505. I'll take care of it. Give
me the number of the hotel.
Copy !req
506. It's the Hudson Suites on the Westside.
Copy !req
507. Tony, just go there. I am... I'm so
worried I'm not even angry anymore.
Copy !req
508. All right, all right, I'm on my way.
Copy !req
509. Anthony?
Copy !req
510. God damn you! I have been going
crazy trying to reach you.
Copy !req
511. - Later. I don't feel good.
- What happened to your face?
Copy !req
512. - Just leave me alone.
- I want to know what happened!
Copy !req
513. You never went to Meadow's
after you gave me your word!
Copy !req
514. - Get off my back.
- You are a liar!
Copy !req
515. - Fuck you.
- What did you say?
Copy !req
516. Get back here! Ow!
Copy !req
517. Puritan Salvage.
Copy !req
518. The big guy's looking for a consignment
from a wedding in Ringwood last night.
Copy !req
519. Nothing came in here.
Copy !req
520. This Benz, SL55, he wants it pulled.
Copy !req
521. I'll make some calls.
Copy !req
522. - Where is he?
- In his room.
Copy !req
523. What happened to your leg?
Copy !req
524. He lied to me, Tony,
which means that they both lied.
Copy !req
525. She's covering for him. It's what
sisters are supposed to do.
Copy !req
526. Of course, right.
Copy !req
527. - He cursed at me. Oh my God.
- What did he say?
Copy !req
528. - He's asleep.
- Not anymore.
Copy !req
529. Oh, hey, Dad.
Copy !req
530. I was just taking out the trash.
It's garbage day tomorrow.
Copy !req
531. - What's different about you?
- He has no eyebrows, Tony!
Copy !req
532. - Who did this?
- We were just screwing around.
Copy !req
533. - What'd you say to your mother?
- Tony...
Copy !req
534. What did you say?
Copy !req
535. I said the "F" word.
Copy !req
536. You're finished. You're never
gonna drive that car
Copy !req
537. till you're 45 years old.
I'm selling it tomorrow!
Copy !req
538. She wouldn't let me talk, I was
trying to tell her what happened.
Copy !req
539. - Oh see, it's my fault.
- All right, let's hear it.
Copy !req
540. Well, I was gonna go to Meadow's
but there weren't any cabs.
Copy !req
541. I didn't think you'd want me standing
in the street at 11:30 at night.
Copy !req
542. - We were right by the hotel.
- Enough of your lying.
Copy !req
543. - I am not lying!
- Look at your face!
Copy !req
544. If you've got some kind
of sexual proclivity
Copy !req
545. with that teacher or whatever,
now is the time to tell us!
Copy !req
546. What went on up there?
Poppers and weird sex?
Copy !req
547. What? No!
Copy !req
548. Look, we don't do drugs,
we're not some stupid dopers.
Copy !req
549. I had a few beers,
but it just made me sick.
Copy !req
550. - How can anybody believe what you say?
- Because I told you!
Copy !req
551. You never believe me.
Copy !req
552. - You had a couple beers?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
553. - You didn't do any drugs.
- No!
Copy !req
554. Carmela, look it...
Copy !req
555. a couple of beers.
Copy !req
556. Should be grounded, yeah, but
it's not the end of the world.
Copy !req
557. What?
Copy !req
558. You know what?
Copy !req
559. I am sick of your bullshit. Both of you!
Copy !req
560. - He can go live with you.
- Don't get dramatic now, all right?
Copy !req
561. - What? Great, good.
- Shut up!
Copy !req
562. I have never been
more serious in my life.
Copy !req
563. Take out the trash, go outside.
Copy !req
564. What are we gonna do, really?
Copy !req
565. What did I just say?
Copy !req
566. - No, I mean really, come on.
- Did you think I was joking?
Copy !req
567. Carmela, this is normal teenage shit.
Copy !req
568. You remember us? The C.Y.O. Dance.
Copy !req
569. We left Artie out in the snow,
he almost lost his fingers.
Copy !req
570. And we still laugh
our asses off about it.
Copy !req
571. No, I don't really blame AJ He's doing
exactly what he's supposed to.
Copy !req
572. He's testing the limits as much
as he can. I blame myself.
Copy !req
573. What are you talking about?
Copy !req
574. You don't know what it's like to
have your son hate your guts.
Copy !req
575. - He doesn't hate your guts.
- Oh, thank God he's alive.
Copy !req
576. It's my fault, Tony.
Copy !req
577. My pathetic need to compete
with you clouded my judgment
Copy !req
578. or I never would have let him stay
in New York. I knew he wasn't ready.
Copy !req
579. I went against all of my instincts.
Copy !req
580. His eyebrows'll grow back!
Nothing really happened!
Copy !req
581. No, you know what happened? I
said fuck it. And you know why?
Copy !req
582. To get him to love me
as much as he loves you.
Copy !req
583. He loves you, it's just...
Copy !req
584. you're his mother, it's different.
Copy !req
585. I can't be the villain anymore.
Copy !req
586. I mean it. And I can't say fuck it.
Copy !req
587. Take him. Let him live with you.
Copy !req
588. Homina-homina-
homina-homina.
Copy !req
589. - Ed Norton?
- Ed Norton?
Copy !req
590. No, I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Kramden.
Copy !req
591. No, the correct answer is
Stephen Foster. But thanks so much.
Copy !req
592. You've been a wonderful contestant
and a swell sport.
Copy !req
593. Goodbye, Mr. Kramden.
Copy !req
594. He's here.
Copy !req
595. Hey, tarall's, expiration date 2007.
Copy !req
596. Put 'em over there.
Copy !req
597. Have a seat.
Copy !req
598. Uh-oh.
Copy !req
599. Sounds serious.
Copy !req
600. You have anything to do with
that wedding takedown in Ringwood?
Copy !req
601. Why, is that a problem?
Copy !req
602. I told you that doctor
was a friend of mine.
Copy !req
603. I deliberately used that word.
Copy !req
604. Are you aware of how many things
a fucking M.D. can do for us?
Copy !req
605. Sorry, Godfather, he was at the game.
I thought he was just another pigeon.
Copy !req
606. Who authorized you to do it?
Copy !req
607. And don't call me Godfather
with that fucking cute smirk.
Copy !req
608. I know I was away for a long time,
Copy !req
609. but when did that happen, you
gotta ask permission to ply your trade?
Copy !req
610. Here's your end, be happy.
Copy !req
611. When were you gonna tell me
about it if I hadn't called you here?
Copy !req
612. I'm here now! I'm telling
you about it now!
Copy !req
613. That's the second time
I'm playing catch-up with you.
Copy !req
614. - What the fuck are you talking about?
- The lawn cutting.
Copy !req
615. Do I have to send you a memo
every time I move my bowels too?
Copy !req
616. You're so concerned about my end,
Copy !req
617. why didn't you put one of those
cars through my shops?
Copy !req
618. What?
Copy !req
619. Johnny Sack told me
about this guy in Newburgh.
Copy !req
620. - Johnny Sack?
- Yeah, Johnny Sack.
Copy !req
621. Anyway, he gave me a better
deal for shipping them whole.
Copy !req
622. Are you fucking serious?
Copy !req
623. I don't like the way
I'm being talked to here.
Copy !req
624. What did I tell you when you
came to me, said you wanted back in?
Copy !req
625. I said as long as you don't
step on anybody's toes.
Copy !req
626. - In my day...
- That's another thing.
Copy !req
627. I don't wanna hear no more
about how it was in your day.
Copy !req
628. You just keep your anecdotes
to local color,
Copy !req
629. like Dynaflows, or
McGuire Sisters, shit like that.
Copy !req
630. Otherwise, shut the fuck up!
Copy !req
631. Jesus Christ, Feech, I'm
tryin' to ease your transition here
Copy !req
632. and this is the thanks I get?
Copy !req
633. I'm sorry if I offended you.
Copy !req
634. You gotta remember, Tony, I
still think of you as a kid.
Copy !req
635. I'll learn.
Copy !req
636. Yeah?
Copy !req
637. Yeah.
Copy !req
638. That's funny.
Copy !req
639. Come here.
Copy !req
640. Aw, shit. We all right?
Copy !req
641. Just...
Copy !req
642. get the SL55 back, okay?
Copy !req
643. Maybe I was too hard on that guy.
Copy !req
644. Did I learn nothing from Richie Aprile?
Copy !req
645. Huh?
Copy !req
646. - Nip it in the bud.
- Feech?
Copy !req
647. - He's well liked, T.
- That's another thing.
Copy !req
648. All right, well, don't be
so hard on yourself though.
Copy !req
649. - Hey, Olsen and Johnson.
- How you doing?
Copy !req
650. Stopped by the bakery,
they said you left already.
Copy !req
651. That's the Canali suit I promised you.
Copy !req
652. He said you should try on the jacket,
see how the sleeves are.
Copy !req
653. How's that?
Copy !req
654. How's that? I look better than Sinatra.
Copy !req
655. - Very nice.
- All right.
Copy !req
656. Hey, I'm having my
wine and peaches. You want?
Copy !req
657. No thanks, we gotta get going.
Copy !req
658. - I'll try some peaches.
- Good.
Copy !req
659. Peaches are from fucking New Zealand.
They're great. I'll get you a glass.
Copy !req
660. No, we should go, we should go...
Copy !req
661. - take care of that thing.
- It can't wait?
Copy !req
662. Where the fuck you going?
Come on, sit down.
Copy !req
663. No, we gotta do this shit. You don't
wanna know, it's all fucked up.
Copy !req
664. What?
Copy !req
665. My imbecile cousin, he was welding
his boat trailer, burns down his garage.
Copy !req
666. Now we got no place to park
the truck that we got.
Copy !req
667. What's wrong with the street?
Copy !req
668. Georgia peaches, those
are considered the best.
Copy !req
669. See, he don't want me to
know what's in the truck.
Copy !req
670. Flat screen TVs.
50-inch plasma Philipses.
Copy !req
671. Guy's coming down from Montreal,
but he got delayed a couple of days.
Copy !req
672. I got a garage right here.
Copy !req
673. My cousin's mother's got a place,
we can lock it up there.
Copy !req
674. Park the load here, this way I'm around.
Keep my glims on the stuff.
Copy !req
675. - How much you gonna want for that?
- Two.
Copy !req
676. Fuck you, Feech. It's fucking parking.
Copy !req
677. You gotta kick in a TV.
Copy !req
678. I thought I had a plan
for Anthony, but I...
Copy !req
679. I'm not so sure now.
Copy !req
680. I don't know if Rutgers' summer program
Copy !req
681. accepts boys without eyebrows.
Copy !req
682. So you heard about that? I was a wreck.
Copy !req
683. I mean look what happened to those
girls just driving to school.
Copy !req
684. We brought in grief counselors.
Copy !req
685. How's Anthony coping with that?
Copy !req
686. I have to say he never mentioned it.
Copy !req
687. They all handle tragedy differently.
Copy !req
688. Actually, he just moved
in with his father.
Copy !req
689. - I don't know if he said.
- Really?
Copy !req
690. I don't know what you might
have heard about my husband.
Copy !req
691. Some.
Copy !req
692. I mean, he's a good father,
don't get me wrong.
Copy !req
693. Our daughter is at Columbia.
Copy !req
694. My friends tell me I'm a snob
with this college business,
Copy !req
695. but with Anthony it's something else.
Copy !req
696. I just know that if he didn't get into
a good enough school to interest him,
Copy !req
697. and he dropped out, went to work
as a waiter or something,
Copy !req
698. he wouldn't last a week.
Copy !req
699. You know, he would be drawn
right in... you know.
Copy !req
700. My husband doesn't
want that for him either.
Copy !req
701. You met him. My
husband can be very magnetic,
Copy !req
702. you know, bigger than life.
Copy !req
703. And I was so young.
It was very exciting.
Copy !req
704. Anyway, he's over there.
Copy !req
705. Maybe it'll be good, you know,
Copy !req
706. learning the things
that men need to know.
Copy !req
707. Well...
Copy !req
708. Anyway, so what about you? How long
have you been at the school?
Copy !req
709. Since '86.
Copy !req
710. I suppose that's what caught
me up too, with Astrid.
Copy !req
711. Some notion of escaping the quotidian.
Copy !req
712. - So you were married.
- For about, uh... five minutes.
Copy !req
713. Chicken Marsala.
Copy !req
714. - And the honey balsamic chicken.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
715. - Have you read "Madame Bovary"?
- No.
Copy !req
716. It's almost a perfect novel.
Copy !req
717. Flaubert writes about bourgeois
loneliness and emptiness.
Copy !req
718. Emma Bovary destroys herself
for some fantasy in her head.
Copy !req
719. It's great. It's truly, truly great.
Copy !req
720. Somehow horrifically
funny, though tragic.
Copy !req
721. I think you might enjoy it.
Copy !req
722. I'll stop by Borders on my way home.
Copy !req
723. - Who is it by again?
- Gustave Flaubert.
Copy !req
724. Yeah?
Copy !req
725. Supervisor Curran, parole board.
Copy !req
726. Site visit.
Copy !req
727. Where's Eddie Stimich?
Copy !req
728. He's out sick. I just wanna
take a look around.
Copy !req
729. Only thing better about here
than Russia is the food.
Copy !req
730. Good one.
Copy !req
731. Eddie examined every fucking dust
bunny in the place just last week.
Copy !req
732. Is that new?
Copy !req
733. Uh...
Copy !req
734. bequest.
Copy !req
735. Friend of mine, passed away.
Copy !req
736. Is that your garage?
Copy !req
737. Nah, it's where I make the
weapons of mass destruction.
Copy !req
738. Let's go out and open it up.
Copy !req
739. You wanna see my fucking garage?
Copy !req
740. You never seen an oil stain before?
Copy !req
741. Let's go.
Copy !req
742. Here's the windup.
Copy !req
743. And the pitch...
Copy !req
744. - Ah!
- Come on!
Copy !req
745. Fuck Major League Baseball.
Copy !req
746. Ever since the fucking strike.
Let's watch ballet.
Copy !req
747. Oh, somebody hotboxed us?
Copy !req
748. - I saw you close the window.
- What's that?
Copy !req
749. It's when you close the windows
and fart on purpose.
Copy !req
750. That's a Dutch oven.
Copy !req
751. - No, in bed it's a Dutch oven.
- What's a Dutch oven?
Copy !req
752. You fart in bed with a woman
then force her head under the covers.
Copy !req
753. That's awesome.
Copy !req
754. - First you gotta be in bed with one.
- You'd be surprised.
Copy !req
755. - Whoa.
- Ooh.
Copy !req
756. Yeah, I would.
Copy !req
757. Oh my God! What...
Copy !req
758. Jesus!
Copy !req
759. That's enough. Go
upstairs, do your Spanish homework.
Copy !req
760. - In 15 minutes.
- No, now.
Copy !req
761. And he goes down looking.
The end of the inning.
Copy !req
762. Just got the call.
Copy !req
763. They put him on a corrections
bus this morning.
Copy !req
764. This was the better move
than taking him out.
Copy !req
765. - The man was a legend.
- Christopher agrees, by the way.
Copy !req
766. Well, that's nice that he agrees.
Copy !req
767. But I'm not running a fucking
popularity contest.
Copy !req
768. Mommy! Look at me!
Copy !req
769. Anthony!
Copy !req