The Sopranos 4x13

1. I told you you didn't have to come.

2. Yeah, let you drive yourself when you look this bad?

3. Yeah?

4. He's out.

5. He looks good.

6. Well, talk to him.

7. - Get a sense. - Okay.

8. Hey-hey-hey!

9. Your cousin's out of rehab. Looks good.

10. Okay, uh, sorry about that.

11. So, uh...

12. Lyme titers, sed rate... inconclusive.

13. Score one for the Italians.

14. You don't have lupus.

15. Thank God for that, huh?

16. Hmm.

17. Think we might be looking at a viral syndrome.

18. - Maybe... mono. - Oh, God.

19. How's your emotional level?

20. Stress off the charts lately, like all of us?

21. What do you mean?

22. Death? Major change of any kind?

23. Just the usual. One day runs into the next.

24. Stay on the Advil.

25. Your temperature goes up, you call me.

26. You know, it's amazing.

27. I got a relative who's got a heroin problem.

28. Now, the people that need drugs,

29. all they can get is shit like Advil.

30. Thank you for coming.

31. That was Grove Street.

32. I gotta make a stop. Down in Sea Bright.

33. - Tony, I don't feel well. - You get some sea air.

34. We'll stop at Barr's, you won't have to cook.

35. Goddamnit. Yeah, I really want lobster.

36. The student loan people called.

37. We're late with Allegra's nursing school payment.

38. Where you goin'?

39. Nordstrom's. They're havin' a sale.

40. Sally Mae calls,

41. and your response to that is to go shopping?

42. It's a sale, John. I need clothes for Italy.

43. We're still going, aren't we?

44. Might be time for a little belt-tightening.

45. The bottom line is, I'll be losing money every day the Esplanade is shut down.

46. We should try to go. I spoke to Nicole Lupertazzi.

47. When she and Little Carmine stayed at the Hassel last year, he loved it.

48. That's good for Little Carmine, then.

49. His fuckin' wallet isn't tied to the goddamn Esplanade, goddamnit!

50. John, why are you yelling at me?

51. John, what'd I do?

52. Is that my father's truck?

53. What the hell's goin' on?

54. Me to know, you to find out.

55. So, whaddya think, Mel? Don't see no dry rot.

56. Mrs. Soprano. Virginia Lupo. RE/MAX Community Realty.

57. Hi.

58. - Tony? - That's right.

59. It's even got a name.

60. Where did this come from?

61. Well, that's if we can get it.

62. This a huge amount of money.

63. And your construction project shut down...

64. Well, that can't last forever.

65. And it's for the family.

66. As the kids get older, it gets harder to keep us all together,

67. but this... is a draw.

68. Bring friends down, have big cook-outs, jet ski...

69. And for us too, though.

70. When we were piss poor, this was the biggest caviar wish we could come up with.

71. Kinda reminds you of the Kennedy compound, don't it?

72. Can I ask you why they're selling?

73. My husband said if we can get it.

74. Well, there is a buyer already.

75. In fact, the house is sold.

76. But there's a chance that these buyers

77. won't qualify for financing.

78. And I know the owner, Alan.

79. He lives just next door here. He's an attorney.

80. If you're offering cash,

81. I thought you should at least see the place.

82. So it's not really for sale.

83. It's just as well, 'cause we really couldn't swing this.

84. Oh, there's Al!

85. The jury has claimed they are deadlocked.

86. However, I'm inclined to agree with prosecution.

87. I'm going to give them additional time to reach a verdict.

88. We shoulda had a hung jury mistrial.

89. Object, for chrissake!

90. Allen charge. It has to play out.

91. Ladies and gentlemen,

92. you've communicated that you feel that you're unable

93. to come to a unanimous verdict in this case.

94. Now, I know that you've been at it for a while,

95. and it can be frustrating.

96. But we've all spent a lot of time on this trial.

97. And being as I have no reason to believe that another jury

98. with the same evidence would be better able to reach a verdict,

99. I'm going to ask you to go back in there

100. and reason with each other

101. and apply the law and come back in here

102. with a verdict.

103. If not, I wanna move on.

104. Alright, here.

105. Did somebody go through the order and make sure we got everything this time?

106. Yes.

107. Well, keep me posted.

108. Dinner's served!

109. Get any sleep?

110. Couldn't.

111. We have absolutely no business

112. getting into something like that house

113. with A.J. two years away from college.

114. That was Virginia Lupo on the phone. She hasn't heard from the owner.

115. - I guess that deal's gonna go through. - Wonder who they are?

116. Motherfuckin' goddamn orange peel beef!

117. Well, call them up. You got me plain soup, right?

118. We'll be finished eatin' the rest of this shit by the time he gets back.

119. You have to go through the order while they're still here.

120. What good does that do?

121. He's still gotta go get it and come back again.

122. - What happened? - They left out part of the order.

123. - Call 'em up. - Sit down and eat.

124. Well, I guess some things just weren't meant to be.

125. What are we talking about?

126. I was thinkin' of buyin' your mother a house down the shore.

127. - Tony. - Un-fucking-believable!

128. - Hey! - Would we have a gym?

129. It's the shore. Wouldn't you wanna be outdoors?

130. Forget that. You're fined three dollars for the F-word.

131. I heard Dad say "mother-F" when I was comin' down the stairs.

132. He's fined, too. We're gonna make this policy work.

133. It's too late.

134. What's goin' on?

135. You know, it does seem like a good value,

136. even at that price.

137. Waterfront property,

138. in that area...

139. we probably wouldn't get hurt, as an investment.

140. Well, you're the one who took real estate classes.

141. Didn't you say that a person shouldn't look at a house as an investment?

142. I know you. If you don't get the place, you'll sulk,

143. and I'll be the wet blanket.

144. I'll sulk? I was sleepin'.

145. Just... if you want me to sign off,

146. we probably wouldn't lose money.

147. But if you don't want to go through with it, believe me, that's fine too.

148. But if you did,

149. Virginia Lupo's phone number is on the bureau,

150. and, you know, better to act quickly if,

151. ya know...

152. More is lost by indecision than by wrong decision,

153. that's all I'm sayin'.

154. Hey, Jack Lemmon! How's Lee Remick?

155. Hey, Ton'.

156. So how the fuck are ya?

157. - That place help you? - Oh, yeah.

158. I found out about strengths I have I didn't even know I had.

159. - Well, you look fuckin' great. - Thank you.

160. Thank everybody for forcin' me to deal with it.

161. Especially Adriana.

162. So you're not shootin' junk, right?

163. Fuck no. I'm completely clean and sober.

164. Which one of the twelve steps you on now?

165. The only one I haven't exactly done is go around

166. to all the people I fucked over while I was usin' and apologize.

167. Maybe you shouldn't do that one.

168. Let sleepin' dogs lie.

169. That's what I was thinkin'.

170. Maybe in couple of cases I'll send flowers...

171. or cash, in some cases.

172. Where's Carmine at? No change whatsoever.

173. Where're you at?

174. I think a movement from below

175. is not palatable to the other bosses.

176. It's what they fear most.

177. Movement from outside, it's more forgivable.

178. And more understandable, given the facts here.

179. I mean, you've been reasonable.

180. If I do it...

181. what do you do for me?

182. I take a sad song and make it better,

183. with the other families, as regards you.

184. You're smart to have reservations.

185. But there's differences between this and Castellano.

186. Yes, you've still got the four other families could raise a stink,

187. but Andy's my brother-in-law.

188. I have their ear.

189. - I'm gonna pass. - Fuck are you talkin' about?

190. - I'm takin' all the risk. - Fuck were you talkin' about last time then?

191. What would it take?

192. Fuck even one percentage point.

193. All claims to my HUD business are irrigated.

194. - Alright. - Not yet.

195. All future construction projects,

196. sixty/forty in my favor.

197. What I'm gonna tell you is for your ears only.

198. And Sil's.

199. We're gonna take out Carmine Lupertazzi.

200. Johnny Sack's gonna go to war, Ton'.

201. No. He's not.

202. That's right.

203. See, Carmine's got major income besides construction—

204. Johnny don't.

205. The only other person hurtin' worse

206. than either of these pricks is me.

207. Whackin' the boss of one of the five families?

208. Johnny's a snaky fuck.

209. Well, that's something to be considered.

210. But remember also how deeply hurt fuckin' Johnny felt

211. over Carmine not backin' him on those slurs against Ginny.

212. Life's funny, huh?

213. Carmine never made that right with John.

214. I knew back then that was a mistake.

215. Gonna hit Carmine soon?

216. If I'm gonna buy this house, I need the Esplanade scratch.

217. It shouldn't look like what it is.

218. Home invasion. Carjackin'.

219. Fuckin' ingrown toenail.

220. I know these black guys from Irvington.

221. That's the right idea.

222. It can never get out... who whacked the old fuck.

223. Are they trustworthy, these guys?

224. - Yeah. - Make sure.

225. Uh, help you?

226. Hi, how ya doin'? I'm Tony Soprano.

227. I was here with my wife the other day with Virginia Lupo.

228. Oh, right. Right. Alan Sapinsly.

229. How are ya?

230. So what do you think?

231. She says those other people are gonna go through with it.

232. I was gonna go talk to you frankly

233. after I took another look at the place.

234. The whole thing is so galling.

235. 'Cause I don't think they're gonna qualify for financing,

236. and we gave 'em this godawful 90-day escrow.

237. My wife's doing. She liked Mrs. Kim.

238. I can do fifteen days.

239. Shortest allowable by law.

240. Never tire of painting this.

241. You'd be comin' in with cash, right?

242. Yeah.

243. Fuck this.

244. Dr. Kim? Hey, Alan Sapinsly.

245. It's not, huh?

246. Well, we've got serious problems.

247. On the house! Sure.

248. He's goin' into surgery, he doesn't want to talk there in the prep room.

249. Yes, I'm here.

250. So, look, what does your lender say?

251. Jesus, Doctor.

252. Well, I take almost no comfort from those words.

253. And were I you, I wouldn't either.

254. I'm aware we have a contract in place.

255. Doctor, please. I'm an attorney.

256. Look, Cho-Sun—

257. No, wait. You're not listening.

258. Simply stated, I want the chance to sell

259. to a more qualified buyer...

260. if I can find one at this late date.

261. Well, actually, it's very si—

262. Wait— Do you want to do all the talking, and I'll just stand here?

263. Thank you.

264. You call Virginia Lupo,

265. she calls the bank, you get your deposit back.

266. Your wife's a grown woman. She'll adjust.

267. Look, Dr. Kim, I spent ten years as a litigator.

268. Buy this property, I'll make your life a misery.

269. I can tort you into the poor house.

270. I've got an overseas call. Think it over.

271. You have Virginia's number.

272. Who knows? We'll see.

273. I wouldn't want to be the patient he's gonna operate on.

274. Let's hold a good thought.

275. Hmm.

276. Hello?

277. Oh, Virginia. Sure, hi.

278. We did?

279. All right!

280. Picture the fishin' off that dock.

281. God, it really is beautiful, isn't it?

282. First time I felt good signin' papers.

283. Dad! Blue crabs!

284. Oh, my God, this is nice.

285. You'll inherit this.

286. Dad. What a thing to say.

287. Anthony Soprano,

288. you are full of surprises.

289. It's good to see a smile on your face.

290. Praise the Lord, huh?

291. - For sobriety. - The higher power.

292. That twelve step shit doin' for you?

293. Yeah. Thanks for askin'.

294. Yeah, we sold you H when that was your thing.

295. And still we here when it's wop-whackin' time in Brooklyn.

296. It should look like a carjack.

297. See? That's why you came to us.

298. That's some stereotypin' shit.

299. He goes mall-walking inside King's Plaza.

300. Seven a.m., Tuesdays and Thursdays.

301. Regular. Macy's entrance.

302. Avenue U and Flatbush.

303. You got the down payment?

304. Next sound you hear.

305. Home of the Burger. What's your beef?

306. Oh, I'm sorry.

307. I have wrong number.

308. Well, this is the Soprano residence.

309. - Tony? - No, this is Anthony.

310. Oh. Yes.

311. The handsome boy.

312. Who is this?

313. Is your mother there?

314. - Ma, telephone! - Who is it?

315. I don't know.

316. Hello?

317. Is this Mrs. Sopranos?

318. Yes, it is.

319. I used to fuck your husband.

320. Hello?

321. A.J., I've got it!

322. Hello.

323. Tony loves me, you know.

324. If it wasn't for his kids, you would be out on the street.

325. - What do you want? - Well, I thought

326. you might want to know we have some sadness in common.

327. He's been sleeping with my cousin Svetlana.

328. That's right. While she was taking care his uncle.

329. Hello?

330. You piece of shit.

331. Yes, I'm a piece of shit.

332. I'm a piece of shit which the world every morning

333. strains and pushes out of its butt.

334. So if you can, imagine where you are on the pecking order.

335. You call my house again,

336. you ever speak to one of my children again,

337. I will track you down, and I will kill you.

338. We have got guns here.

339. I mean it.

340. You remember my cousin.

341. She was also his mama's caregiver. With the one leg.

342. It is so absurd, why would I make it up?

343. What the fuck?

344. Carmela!

345. What the fuck are you doin'?

346. Fuckin' shitbag!

347. Don't come up here!

348. Get the fuck out of this house!

349. Carm! What's the matter?

350. Carm, what did I do now, huh?

351. Carm.

352. What did I do?

353. Huh? What did I do!

354. Your mother told you what I said to your father about her psoriasis?

355. I was just trying to be honest with him.

356. You have made a fool of me for years with these whores.

357. Now it's come into our home?

358. What are you talkin' about?

359. The Russian called.

360. Your son answered the telephone.

361. Oh, Jesus.

362. She's insane.

363. She's fuckin' certifiable, I told you!

364. You can't believe nothin' she says, whatever it is!

365. Now, we haven't seen each other, like that. I swear to Christ!

366. I told you!

367. What about her cousin?

368. What? No.

369. The nurse who took care of your mother? Who I liked?

370. Who I talked to on the telephone about your mother's alopecia?

371. And her bowel movements?

372. Who you told me came from an agency?

373. Who I shared vodka with the night your mother died?

374. You've been fucking her?

375. There is not a shred of truth in that.

376. Why would the cousin make it up? Because she's jealous!

377. You f-fuck!

378. Let go of me!

379. Carm.

380. Just get out, Tony.

381. Don't even say anything.

382. I'm not goin' anywhere, and you know it.

383. Ohh.

384. So let's just lie down, we'll calm down—

385. Get your hands off of me!

386. Don't you touch me ever again.

387. Where's A.J.?

388. So you got a one-legged one now, huh?

389. That's nice.

390. You've had quite a time on my watch.

391. Preschool assistant,

392. the weightlifter...

393. At least I never stole from you.

394. Who stole, Tony? Who, me?

395. My own wife! Forty grand! From the bird feeder!

396. Bird feeder. Listen to yourself. You sound demented.

397. What, you wanna hit me, Tony? Go ahead.

398. Just go away, please! I can't stand it anymore!

399. - I didn't do it. - I found her fingernail, Tony!

400. You saw it that day, on your night table.

401. I found it, and I put it there. I know you saw it.

402. That—

403. What? That what?

404. Nothin'.

405. Nothin'.

406. What?

407. You know what I don't understand, Tony?

408. What does she have that I don't have?

409. I did not carry on an affair with the cousin,

410. and I will take a goddamn polygraph to that effect.

411. I want you to leave this house, Tony. Please.

412. I want you to leave me alone.

413. What about the kids?

414. Yeah, it's horrible.

415. God help them.

416. Oh.

417. Irina!

418. Irina!

419. Open the fuckin' door, or I'll kick it in!

420. She's not there.

421. Probably she hides in Brighton Beach.

422. She blames you for Ronnie Zellman.

423. You beat him with belt.

424. He felt weak in front of her.

425. She told me he couldn't perform.

426. They broke up not so long after.

427. Oh, fuck that.

428. Who told her about us? Not you. Please.

429. It was what's-her-name, right? The fuckin' one who walked in on us.

430. Branca.

431. We had bad argument over FICA and federal withholding

432. I take from her paycheck.

433. Jesus fuckin' Christ.

434. FICA and federal withholding.

435. I gotta go home tomorrow,

436. and I gotta tell my kids we're separatin'.

437. It's gonna rip them up.

438. Divorce is very hard for kids.

439. After this, they don't trust.

440. I'm child of divorce.

441. I shouldn't have been drinki" in the afternoon.

442. How about a little sympathy here?

443. What, have you got fuckin' ice in your veins?

444. I had ice in my veins on your uncle couch?

445. Most expensive piece of ass I ever had.

446. Right. I know what you are thinking, too.

447. Take care, Tony. You're a strong guy.

448. You'll be all right.

449. 'Sup.

450. So how's it going with Christopher home?

451. Good. That place was a godsend.

452. So the wedding's back on?

453. We haven't talked about it.

454. Except—

455. Except what?

456. Well...

457. he says he isn't sure anymore he'd be a good father.

458. After killin' my dog.

459. You have kids?

460. So how's Tony?

461. He's been house-hunting down the shore?

462. Beautiful place, too.

463. What about Ralph?

464. Ciforetto. Heard anything there?

465. Chrissy says he has a pretty serious drug problem, too.

466. May have hit bottom somewheres.

467. Chrissy says he wants to...

468. you know, help get him in recovery when he resurfaces.

469. Hmm.

470. You know Ralph's second-in-command, Vito?

471. Yeah. The fat guy.

472. When Christopher was away, I had that asshole calling me

473. every five minutes

474. to see if I "needed anything."

475. No! Ugh! Does Christopher know?

476. You kidding me? He'd kill him.

477. Not really. I mean, you know, he'd be angry.

478. I'm supposed to meet my mom.

479. Go ahead.

480. Thank you.

481. I saw your car. ¿Que pasa?

482. Well, uh...

483. things aren't very good at home,

484. so I came down to sleep on my boat,

485. but it was bein' refinished,

486. and the smell of the paint drove me out.

487. Sorry. I've been up to bat three times, and...

488. Yeah, I think she's, uh...

489. thinkin' of separatin'.

490. What you want to do,

491. you want to go around and meet perfunctorily

492. with all the top divorce attorneys in your area.

493. That way if the worst happens, none of 'em can take her on

494. as a client— conflict of interest.

495. - That's pretty good. - Just do it, fella.

496. But I gotta ask you to find a hotel until you officially take possession.

497. Something happens to you, I'm liable.

498. Let me just, uh... clean up a little.

499. - Hi. I'm Tony— - I know who you are.

500. Come in, please.

501. Tony.

502. What's up?

503. Uh... that thing we were talkin' about,

504. this thing with me and my wife...

505. Alan just told me.

506. Well, the thing is, in light of it,

507. I was going over it in the shower,

508. and I realized that as much as I want this place,

509. now is not the time for me to be buyin' a house.

510. Sorry. I know it's a big disappointment.

511. You oughta see how I feel.

512. Just wanna get my deposit back, and I'll get outta your life.

513. Well, Tony, it's just not that clear to me

514. how your marital situation negates the purchase.

515. I mean, most of this was for my kids.

516. For my wife.

517. - That is so sad. Excuse me, honey.

518. We had that place on the market a year and a half.

519. We had two offers. You and the Kims.

520. - So what about them? - The Kims?

521. I can't go back to them. I mean, I guess I could, but I'm not going to.

522. They'd hold my feet to the fire. I don't want to be insensitive

523. with what you've got on your plate, but we have a signed contract.

524. - Alan. - No. Baloney. I dumped the buyer

525. 'cause he and his wife seemed so in love with the place.

526. It was the cash and the short escrow.

527. Look, who knows what's gonna happen, Tony?

528. You and your wife could be back together in a month,

529. leaving A.S. here fucked in the ass.

530. Well, whatever. Um...

531. Look, what's the big deal?

532. Why don't you just let me out of this thing okay?

533. I can't. I have partners.

534. Oh. Excuse me.

535. I-I gotta take this. Uh, it was very nice to meet you.

536. But I'm not buyin' your house.

537. That guy's a mobster.

538. They buy houses from people, they conduct business.

539. I dealt with them on that Neapolitan copyright thing for Enya.

540. I'll probably let him walk,

541. but that's a negotiation, which he knows full well.

542. You don't have any partners.

543. Thank you, Rabbi.

544. Just talked to Carmine.

545. He's ready to settle.

546. Are you kiddin' me? Everything's in motion!

547. Welcome to my world.

548. Now sit.

549. I'm sorry to learn about the marital situation, Tony.

550. Our thing is more than a livelihood.

551. One of us suffers a personal tragedy,

552. falls ill or whatnot,

553. we all feel it deeply,

554. no matter what kind of acrimony's in the air.

555. What's in the air is you're losin' money out your ass.

556. We all agree we want to get back to earning.

557. But I reiterate again,

558. Zellman had a hand in HUD,

559. so I can't, as a matter of principle,

560. relinquish my claim.

561. So?

562. I said forty, you said five-and-a-half—

563. which was ridiculous.

564. Let's split the difference.

565. Twenty percent.

566. Alright, fifteen.

567. You know what?

568. In the interest of puttin' this shit to bed,

569. if that's what it's gonna take,

570. fifteen.

571. Good.

572. My son was a big help in all this.

573. I want you always to remember that.

574. Even after I'm gone.

575. But I'm not goin' no place.

576. Healthy as a fuckin' rhino, this guy.

577. You stay that way. Alright?

578. - Hi. - Hi.

579. Did you get any sleep?

580. A little, I think.

581. Maybe it would be better if you went back to school,

582. got our head into your schoolwork, be with your friends.

583. I'd just be thinking about what's going on here all the time.

584. I just keep thinking...

585. I used to feel so superior 'cause so many of my friends

586. had these fucked-up divorced parents.

587. I guess I did, too.

588. And, like, Finn.

589. I'm not saying I want kids, but if we did,

590. I used to imagine we'd all be together

591. on the holidays, Christmas,

592. all around this big fire.

593. You will have a wonderful future, Meadow.

594. We had a lot of wonderful times as a family.

595. All predicated on bullshit.

596. I don't want to fight with you, Meadow.

597. That's not true. I think you know it.

598. It was 'cause of Furio, wasn't it?

599. Who said anything about Furio?

600. I have never been unfaithful to your father.

601. Daddy was.

602. This is not something I want to talk about. I'm sorry.

603. Not now, not ever.

604. Jesus, how could you eat shit from him

605. for all those years?

606. Fresh pepper?

607. Just a little.

608. About you and Carmela...

609. I'm sorry.

610. This is not al dente.

611. Hello.

612. Fuckin' amazing, huh?

613. Well... I guess that's that, huh?

614. Things have a momentum of their own.

615. More is lost by indecision than a wrong decision.

616. That's a good point.

617. Okay, then.

618. You'll hear from me.

619. That was J.S.

620. We're not on for Tuesday no more, right?

621. Wrong.

622. Johnny Sack.

623. I always worked very fuckin' hard

624. to make him think I liked him.

625. I'd try to feel him out about shit.

626. I think he and Ralphie were in bed some way.

627. It went bad with that joke shit.

628. So...

629. we reached an agreement.

630. When Tony gave him his final number,

631. Carmine's Depends blew out.

632. Ohh, my fuckin' back.

633. That cot at the Pork Store, not really good for sleepin', T.

634. With all due love and respect to Carmela,

635. I'd put her shit out on the curb and let it rain on her.

636. Ho! You can't disrupt the kids.

637. That shit traumatizes 'em for life.

638. It's his house as much as it is hers.

639. More. I paid for it.

640. That's right, T. I'm on your side on this.

641. She's the one who talked me into fuckin' buyin' it in the first place.

642. Now I'm out on the streets?

643. Ahh, these fuckin' phones.

644. We were better off years ago.

645. Yeah.

646. Tony? Alan Sapinsly.

647. - What? - I hadn't heard from you.

648. My partners and I have decided to let you out of your obligation.

649. I want my 200 grand

650. by the end of the week.

651. As to that, I'm not rescinding the deposit.

652. That's what they're for, to hold parties to agreements.

653. If you want to make me an offer...?

654. No, I think I'll buy the house.

655. My family has parties... till four, five in the mornin'.

656. I can show damages, and I'm being generous

657. in not bringing action to enforce the sale.

658. Damages?

659. - They haven't started yet. - Listen to me.

660. There's a paper trail to our dispute,

661. and Virginia Lupo's a witness.

662. A hair on my head gets mussed, the authorities are gonna know

663. - just where to come knocking. - Alan...

664. you're misreadin' me entirely.

665. You must think I'm a fuckin' thug.

666. Just be forewarned!

667. You're not getting your deposit back!

668. Jesus, you scared me to death.

669. This is my house, Carmela, and I'm not leavin'.

670. Get outta here, Tony.

671. I asked you once nicely.

672. Alright, look.

673. I know what happened was wrong.

674. I was an asshole.

675. And I apologize. I'm sorry.

676. It won't happen again.

677. I said get out.

678. Make me.

679. I have an appointment with a lawyer, Tony.

680. I will get a restraining order.

681. A lawyer. Go ahead.

682. Go on, call him.

683. Here. Use my phone.

684. Fine, stay.

685. Come here. You're not goin' anywhere.

686. Let go of me! Your son'll be home,

687. do you want him to see his father like this?

688. You'd love that, wouldn't you?

689. I'm not leavin' here, Carmela.

690. I don't love you anymore! I don't want you!

691. You are not sleeping in my bed, Tony!

692. The thought of it now makes me sick!

693. Jesus Christ Almighty, I'm going fucking crazy!

694. Mom's gonna let you stay out here?

695. "Let"? This is my house.

696. Isn't it better when I'm here?

697. Well, sure.

698. Come on. We'll bring 'em down to the garage tomorrow.

699. What time is it?

700. You just gettin' home?

701. Uh, we were studyin'.

702. Oh, yeah? From now on,

703. I'm gonna take a bigger hand in this shit.

704. I'm gonna be right out here.

705. And I want you to be extra respectful to your mother.

706. She's goin' through a hard time right now.

707. - Did she say somethin'? - I'm just sayin'.

708. Alright. Go to bed. It's a school night.

709. Audiences have been given

710. an abundance of programming,

711. and they vote every hour, every minute,

712. every five minutes, with their remote.

713. Thanks, by the way, for drinkin' wine in front of me.

714. Hello?

715. Call it off.

716. - The old guy. - Yeah?

717. Somethin' don't make sense here.

718. Think it's a setup?

719. Not necessarily, but...

720. our friend is very anxious to pass the ball, the prick.

721. But nobody can know this was ever considered.

722. I'll offer my guys half of what they'da got. That should do it.

723. I just want you to make sure.

724. I told you that.

725. to protect what we've earned

726. and to enhance...

727. - Hey. - It's all there.

728. You get the taste to chip a little H again...

729. don't forget to call us.

730. Like we said, you're gonna keep this quiet.

731. I got the mouth on a statue, nigga.

732. Word.

733. See you around.

734. He ain't quit. He's just freshenin' up.

735. Don't say jackshit to Kaisha about this,

736. or she'll be hauntin' my ass for that child suppor—

737. Hey.

738. Hi.

739. What?

740. I was wondering when you were gonna move

741. those theater seats down to the garage.

742. Seriously? That's what you came out here to talk to me about?

743. They're on the lawn, Tony. They're gonna ruin the grass.

744. "Bad for the glass! Bad for the glass!"

745. I can't put the sprinklers on over there, Tony,

746. without the seats getting wet.

747. They're your seats, I don't want to wreck them.

748. I'll get right on it.

749. Why do you have to make even this little thing so difficult?

750. What possible reason could you have

751. for comin' out here to talk to me about theater seats

752. except to bust my balls?

753. I wanted to water while I was out.

754. Yeah. Right.

755. Fuck you.

756. That's gonna cost you three dollars.

757. You know what, Tony? What's done is done.

758. We are where we are. It's for the best.

759. But just for the record,

760. or it might even interest you to know,

761. that I might actually have gone on

762. with your cheating and your bullshit...

763. if your attitude around here

764. had been even the least bit loving.

765. Cooperative. Interested.

766. Whose idea was Whitecaps?

767. Just a bigger version of an emerald ring

768. so you can keep on with your other life.

769. You don't know me at all.

770. I know you better than anybody, Tony,

771. even your friends.

772. Which is probably why you hate me.

773. Hate you?

774. Well, don't worry. I'm goin' to hell when I die.

775. Nice thing to say to a person headin' into an MRI.

776. You know, Tony...

777. I have always been sorry I said that.

778. You were my guy.

779. You could be so sweet.

780. Nobody could make me laugh like you.

781. Carmela, who the fuck did you think I was when you married me, huh?

782. You knew my father. You grew up around Dickie Moltisanti and your Uncle Eddie.

783. Where do you get off actin' all surprised and miffed

784. when there are women on the side?

785. - You knew the deal. - Deal?

786. And your mother can talk all she wants

787. about what's-his-name and his fuckin' chain of drugstores.

788. You and I both know that the other boyfriend you were debatin' marryin'

789. was Jerry Tufi, with his father's snowplow business.

790. And we now know that that wouldn't have suited you at all.

791. You really don't hear me, do you?

792. You think for me it's all about things.

793. Oh, no, I forced all this shit on you.

794. What you really crave is a little Hyundai

795. and a simple gold heart on a chain.

796. You are so fucking hateful.

797. Could I tell ya somethin', Tony?

798. Don't pretend like I got a choice.

799. The last year,

800. I have been dreaming and fantasizing

801. and in love with Furio.

802. What?

803. Every morning when he'd come to pick you up,

804. I would look forward to it all night long.

805. In bed. Next to you.

806. Those nights when you were actually in the bed.

807. And he would ring the doorbell,

808. I felt like my heart would come out of my chest.

809. He would smile, and we'd talk...

810. and then you would come down the stairs.

811. And I felt probably like someone who is terminally ill

812. and somehow they managed to forget it for a minute,

813. and then it all comes back.

814. He talked to you! Aw, poor you!

815. He made me feel like I mattered!

816. You asked me the other day what Irina's cousin has that you don't have.

817. And I thought about it, 'cause it's a pretty good fuckin' question.

818. And yeah, she's sexy enough, even with the one pin gone, but that's not it.

819. I could converse with her, 'cause she had something to say!

820. I am here! I have things to say!

821. Besides "Bring the fuckin' chairs down" and "Did you sign the living trust"?

822. She's a grown fuckin' woman who's been kicked around,

823. and she's been on her own, and she's had to fight and struggle!

824. - Unlike me, is that it? - Yeah.

825. Who the fuck wanted it like this?

826. Who the fuck pissed and moaned at just the idea

827. of me with a fucking real estate license?

828. Free to sit back for 20 fuckin' years

829. and fiddle with the air conditioning

830. and fuckin' bitch and complain

831. and fuckin' bitch, bitch, bitch!

832. To me! To your priest!

833. Fuck it!

834. Who knew, all this time you wanted Tracy and Hepburn.

835. Well, Tony, what about the thousand other fucking pigs

836. you had your dick in over the years?

837. The strippers, the cocktail waitresses—

838. were you best friends with all of them too?

839. You fucking hypocrite.

840. The judge is calling you all into the courtroom.

841. Okay, thanks.

842. Hello?

843. Hello?

844. The number you are calling was blocked

845. and cannot be called back

846. using your last-call return service.

847. "We are still hopelessly deadlocked.

848. "One juror refuses to deliberate and can't be reasoned with.

849. - What should we do now?" - Your Honor.

850. Again, I must move for a mistrial.

851. Your Honor, the government asks

852. that you give them another Allen charge

853. to go back and try again.

854. Much as I'd like to,

855. this jury's been at it a long time.

856. I don't see where one or two more days

857. is going to change anything.

858. Bring in the jury.

859. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

860. I see that you are hopelessly deadlocked,

861. and I have no choice but to declare a mistrial.

862. I know that you did the best you could.

863. You have performed a valuable service.

864. You may be excused.

865. Well done.

866. Betty. Stay in touch.

867. Call me when your grandson is born.

868. I wouldn't want to think of you on that day.

869. Dad.

870. Battle of Tarawa.

871. Marines had no air cover.

872. It was a slaughter.

873. Our men wade ashore from wrecked amphibians...

874. War? I don't know.

875. There's Coke in there.

876. Can I move in here?

877. What's wrong with your room?

878. I can't take it anymore.

879. Mom's just on my case all the time.

880. My dinner got cold—

881. so I was on the phone with Devin,

882. we had to do an algebra problem.

883. Look, I told ya she's havin' a hard time right now.

884. She goes to a lot of trouble to cook those meals.

885. I didn't ask her to.

886. I mean, it's not fair.

887. Why do I have to get stuck with her?

888. Hey. Don't talk about your mother like that.

889. Well, you don't have to put up with her shit anymore.

890. I heard you tell her off out by the pool.

891. Well, you're not stayin' in here. Get that outta your head right now.

892. - Why not? - 'Cause it would hurt her feelings

893. you don't wanna be in her part of the house.

894. Your, uh, old amp's hooked back up.

895. Be careful with that speaker.

896. I heard you bang the other one before.

897. What are you gonna do without your front speakers?

898. - I'll take 'em. - They're just borrowin' 'em.

899. I'll come back for the amp.

900. You can come in here, watch TV with me, but you can't stay here.

901. Fuck.

902. Oh...

903. here.

904. Go buy her one of those CDs she likes,

905. and some flowers.

906. Tell her you're sorry.

907. That you'll try to be more considerate.

908. It's tough getting them out of places like this.

909. You can never be sure where their snipers are placed.

910. We should call everybody, have a big party.

911. Call Volpe's if you want, have 'em send over a coupla pies.

912. But that's it. There's a hearty Burgundy still in the fridge.

913. I don't suppose Tony'd come...

914. with what's goin' on up at that abattoir.

915. I don't think so, Uncle Jun.

916. Where ya goin'?

917. Yeah, I wanna get one large cheese and tomato,

918. and then one with alice.

919. Yeah, it's me.

920. Bobby.

921. Go down by the cellar door, see if Murf left the envelope under the flagstone.

922. He wouldn't have been around today.

923. I'll go look later.

924. Do it now. Is that asking so much?

925. I just went through the trial of my life.

926. To wonderful friends,

927. to Alan's shark fin soup,

928. and to a wonderful day.

929. - Hear, hear. - Cheers.

930. And now, ladies and gentlemen,

931. the Sands Hotel proudly presents

932. the star of our show,

933. direct from the bar, Dean Martin!

934. The hell?

935. It's that boat.

936. Fuckin' goombah trash.

937. This whole shoreline's turning into the Gulf of Sorrento.

938. Hey! Buddy! Turn it down!

939. How long I been on?

940. Been waitin' long?

941. Sorry, I was interviewing divorce lawyers.

942. Ah. That's what I always ask is it worth it financially?

943. You and Ginny are the old married couple.

944. Marriage can be very hard work if both aren't pulling that load.

945. I was wondering... why the delay?

946. I was gonna call ya.

947. You're not gonna be happy.

948. I'm out.

949. Whackin' a boss is bad for business.

950. - And now that he settled... - We can weather it.

951. It's not just the internal upheaval.

952. Mr. and Mrs. John Q. America.

953. By and large, they sit still for our shit.

954. So people get ripped off— they figure it's not them.

955. But if it's the fuckin' OK Corral out there,

956. the feds take heat.

957. Whew. Tony.

958. This-This is very disappointing.

959. I know.

960. But he's an old man.

961. Come on, you're gonna get your chance soon enough.

962. Don't go into coaching, Tony. It's not your long suit.

963. What I was gonna say—

964. Tomorrow I go in to work.

965. "Creeps on this petty pace."

966. And I take orders from him again?

967. Or that disgusting fucking cocksucker idiot son of his?

968. I shouldn't be hearin' that.

969. Oh, really?

970. What I was gonna say was...

971. it's a major step...

972. but if you wanna do it without me as a partner,

973. you do what you gotta do.

974. I will never, ever reveal any conversation we ever had.

975. The things is, we had those conversations.

976. Your mouth was movin' along with mine.

977. So now we just go back about our business at the Esplanade

978. like it never happened?

979. Well, yeah, that would be the healthy choice.

980. Healthy for who? Why the fuck would I ever trust somebody

981. who would leave me holding my cock like this?

982. I shouldn't have heard that either.

983. Well. There you go.

984. There's the fucking problem.

985. John.

986. I still consider you a dear, dear friend.

987. So they're actually moored about two and a half centimeters

988. away from the fire, but they're finally making

989. a little bit of an impact with their buckets...

990. I didn't know you were in the house.

991. Just stopped by to pick up a few things.

992. Fine.

993. The geeks are really making some progress now.

994. Whoa! You're doin' great, Tom! Switch!

995. Turn that off and come here.

996. I got something to say to your mother,

997. I might as well tell you at the same time.

998. It's almost over.

999. Now.

1000. I been thinkin' about things, me livin' out there...

1001. and I decided it's probably not a good idea.

1002. What's going on?

1003. I was just tellin' everybody

1004. it's probably better if I don't live here anymore.

1005. 'Cause I wanted to stay in there with you?

1006. I won't ask!

1007. I just got pissed off.

1008. He asked to live with you?

1009. No, A.J. Come here.

1010. That's not why.

1011. Where you gonna go?

1012. Don't worry about it.

1013. You should go back to counseling.

1014. It's better this way.

1015. He's making the right decision.

1016. He'll get a place, you will go and visit.

1017. It'll be better. You'll see.

1018. Well, you guys could still get back together maybe.

1019. - Right? - Yeah.

1020. Sure.

1021. We're still close.

1022. God, is there nothing to eat in this house?

1023. Be careful.

1024. I'll be at the Plaza.

1025. I don't drink anymore,

1026. I freeze it now, and I eat it like a Popsicle.

1027. A drink never hurt nobody.

1028. You just remember the great words of Joe E. Lewis.

1029. He says, "You're not drunk if you can lay on the floor without holding on."

1030. Fucking gangster asshole!

1031. I'm gonna call the police.

1032. They'll just turn it down again when the police boat comes.

1033. The Coast Guard— - He can keep paying those $200 fines forever, Alan!

1034. You gotta let it go, Alan!

1035. Give him his money!

1036. God!