The Sopranos 3x9

1. Anybody home?

2. Hello?

3. What's this?

4. What's this?

5. Oh, my God, Tony...

6. here, allow me.

7. Happy birthday.

8. Oohhh...

9. oops.

10. What?

11. Look at the ring your father gave me.

12. I already saw it.

13. I was gonna wrap it, but,

14. it's wasteful to the environment.

15. Thank you, young man.

16. "The Matrix."

17. I haven't seen it yet.

18. Hello?

19. Happy birthday, mama.

20. What are you doing here?

21. Don't you have an exam tomorrow?

22. Nice to see you, too.

23. I'm sorry, honey.

24. I'm just surprised to see you.

25. See what your father got me?

26. Mmm.

27. Big ring.

28. Happy birthday.

29. Oh, my God, so many gifts.

30. "A day of beauty and pampering

31. at the belladonna day spa."

32. It's in Soho, my friend, Batsheva says it's awesome.

33. Massage, mud treatment, everything.

34. I got myself one, so we can go together.

35. I put it on your credit card.

36. 12 years, I took this club from nothin'!

37. Give him a drink.

38. What do you drink, Rocco?

39. Johnny Black.

40. This place was a shit hole when I took it over.

41. You could use a little help,

42. Goddamn Vikings!

43. Nobody misses the extra point.

44. That's all they had to do, one little kick, and now I'm ruined!

45. Don't bitch to me!

46. Bet with your head, not over it!

47. You still a partner.

48. You got a problem with us?

49. One, two, three!

50. I'll get it.

51. Did you invite some stray dog up here?

52. You short of food?

53. Sorry I'm late.

54. We didn't even know you were comin'.

55. Meadow told me it was Carmela's birthday.

56. It is so nice of you to join us.

57. Hi, Mr. And Mrs. De Angelis.

58. Jackie.

59. Hey.

60. Have you heard the good news?

61. We met Thanksgiving?

62. Happy birthday, Carm'.

63. Oh, Jackie, you didn't have to.

64. I'll put it on ice in a minute.

65. Thank you, sir.

66. Alright, come on, let's go,

67. the wax is melting here.

68. I heard you got made defensive captain.

69. Yeah, five and a half sacks

70. and two recovered fumbles,

71. almost scored a touchdown on one of 'em.

72. Excellent, man.

73. You know I played linebacker for Boonton?

74. Senior year, I was all-county.

75. Wow.

76. Maybe we could work out a little together.

77. Sure, you should come to the blessed SAC game on Tuesday.

78. It's the last game of the season.

79. We were supposed to play last month,

80. but, the refs were on strike.

81. I'll be there.

82. I wanna come too.

83. My little brother's football game.

84. No champagne, the good Lord

85. doesn't want us to drink alcohol.

86. Didn't Jesus drink wine?

87. He was Jesus, Ton', we can't make comparisons.

88. Who invented these things?

89. You people are all out of your minds.

90. Mom, is it alright if I sleep at Egon's

91. if I promise to be in bed by one?

92. I ordered one for you so you don't disappear

93. when I send you to the market.

94. Lights out by one, in bed by 12.

95. Be careful.

96. I smell fish.

97. We're near the ocean.

98. Now I smell piss.

99. What?

100. It's yours.

101. What is?

102. This is the lollipop in long branch.

103. This is your club.

104. I'm a partner here now, me and Furio.

105. But, we're gonna be silent.

106. You're gonna be the owner-manager.

107. You book the bands, you find the talent,

108. whatever you wanna do.

109. It's yours.

110. Oh, my God!

111. I can't believe it!

112. You're gonna turn this place

113. into the biggest Jersey club

114. since "The Stone Pony."

115. Thank you, Christopher!

116. I'm so excited.

117. Can we change the name?

118. Whatever you want, baby.

119. This is Rocco, he works for you.

120. The ring looks beautiful on you.

121. It is gorgeous.

122. Tony, is there anything you need to tell me?

123. About the ring?

124. I don't know.

125. You didn't buy that little car you were talking about.

126. The Mercedes?

127. I'd look like a douchebag in one of those.

128. Jean Cusamano calls those sports cars

129. mid-life crisis mobiles.

130. What the fuck does she know?

131. Is this 17-26 Pearl Ave.?

132. No.

133. Is there a Pearl Ave in this neighborhood?

134. Hello?

135. Hey, Ro.

136. No, Jackie took Meadow to the movies.

137. They said, "not late."

138. Alright.

139. Bye.

140. What?

141. I don't know.

142. I'm not thrilled about this thing

143. with Jackie and Meadow.

144. I think she came home and he came over,

145. so that they could go out tonight.

146. So, what? He's a good kid.

147. He comes from good stock.

148. He's been on his best behavior lately,

149. I can't deny that.

150. I just never pictured Meadow with someone like him.

151. "Someone like him"? He's one of us.

152. Don't tell me you were happier when she was going with that

153. Jamal Ginsberg, the Hasidic homeboy.

154. We scraped through that by the skin of our ass.

155. I just don't want her to miss the opportunities

156. that are available to her.

157. She should be at the museum of modern art in her free time,

158. not watching TV at Rosalie Aprile's.

159. You'd rather have her looking at pictures of soup cans,

160. instead of being close to home?

161. I don't know.

162. You talk to her,

163. and I'll talk to Jackie Jr.

164. Here's your Edgar Allen Poe paper.

165. You did it already?

166. No problem.

167. Thanks.

168. I would have done it myself,

169. I was gonna do it,

170. I just couldn't get through the books.

171. I never should've took literature of obsession.

172. I owe you big time.

173. Thanks.

174. How can I repay you?

175. I don't know.

176. Why don't you surprise me?

177. On your mark, get set, go!

178. I kicked your asses!

179. You cheat!

180. Ow, my eyes...

181. there's too much chlorine.

182. I think I swallowed some water.

183. You girls see me out there?

184. Yeah, it looked like you were cheating.

185. Hey, guys!

186. We got Mr. Goodwin's office open!

187. Check it out.

188. Let's go for it.

189. Hey, everybody!

190. Boo-ya!

191. C'mon, let's go, c'mon!

192. Don't cut your feet!

193. Hey, it's Sunday morning and you're listening...

194. Good morning.

195. Hello. 'Morning.

196. Did Jackie call?

197. Vince Lombardi's out back with your brother.

198. So, I've been thinking about a car.

199. I knew I was gonna get hit up

200. for something on this trip.

201. What, you can spend thousands on sapphires

202. but, a hardworking student has to take the bus everywhere?

203. You live a block from the school.

204. What do you need a car for?

205. It'd be nice to hop in a car after class

206. and come have dinner with you guys once in a while.

207. They steal cars left and right in New York,

208. parking is impossible.

209. Besides, the bus gets you here in 45 minutes.

210. I'm not asking for anything fancy,

211. just something to get me around.

212. You could've had a car last year,

213. but you spurned your nose at it.

214. Eric's car? Is that a sick joke?

215. It may interest you to know that his father's

216. now in a mental health facility in Nevada.

217. Why don't you just wait and see how this semester goes?

218. You were just complaining about how much work you had to do!

219. Don't you think you should concentrate on that?

220. I am concentrating on that!

221. What do you think I am?

222. Jesus Christ, you're like a broken record!

223. Take it down a notch! Hey!

224. God.

225. We just want to make sure that you take advantage

226. of all the city has to offer you.

227. Culturally, socially, educationally.

228. Right before the snap, the ball isn't doing anything.

229. But the QB's eyes can tell you whether

230. he's gonna drop back to pass or hand it off.

231. It happens in a split second,

232. but, over the course of the game,

233. you can learn what his habits are,

234. and once you know these habits,

235. he's fucked.

236. Hey.

237. Good morning.

238. Okay, A.J., try what I told you.

239. I will, thanks, Jackie.

240. The wall of pride...

241. what kind of animals?

242. I don't think they stole anything.

243. They just did a number on the place.

244. They left this.

245. You make this pizza?

246. Who make this pizza?

247. We're asking you.

248. This your store logo, sir?

249. That's my box.

250. This pie was found at a crime scene.

251. My pizza never hurt nobody.

252. Come again, sir?

253. You no find any bacteria in here.

254. Some kids broke into Verbum Dei high school,

255. broke things, they left this there.

256. You tell me their names,

257. I'll go put my foot up their ass!

258. I got it, pop.

259. That's a custom job.

260. How's that, sir?

261. Double meatball, pepperoni, sausage,

262. peppers, onions, extra mozzarella.

263. This pie fit a pattern?

264. Come again, officer?

265. Any customers order this combo on a regular basis?

266. Only one I know. Who's that?

267. I'd rather not say.

268. Tell me right now, I find these bastards!

269. Pop, go in the back, make meatballs, go ahead.

270. Sir. Yes, officer?

271. Word to the wise. What's that?

272. Technically, you're an accessory after the fact.

273. I cannot believe this!

274. Do you know how serious this is?

275. Do you?

276. Answer me, right now.

277. Yes.

278. Yes, what?

279. I know it's serious.

280. So, why did you do it?

281. I don't know.

282. Why did you do it?

283. Do you hate the school?

284. Do you have a problem with someone there or something?

285. Then, why? No.

286. It just happened.

287. We went in, swimming as a goof.

288. Someone threw something in the pool.

289. A couple of guys started throwing stuff in.

290. We just did it.

291. And if they were jumping off the George Washington Bridge,

292. would you just do that, too?

293. No.

294. What are you doing here?

295. Answer your father.

296. I got sent home.

297. Why?

298. Why?

299. I got in trouble.

300. Your son, broke into his school Friday night

301. and vandalized the swimming pool.

302. How do you vandalize the swimming pool?

303. They threw a bunch of stuff in it,

304. they broke things.

305. What'd you do that for?

306. Screwin' around?

307. On your mother's birthday!

308. It wasn't... it was after midnight.

309. What, are you fuckin' stupid, huh?

310. So, what now, you're suspended?

311. I don't know.

312. Tony, do you know how serious this is?

313. He may be expelled.

314. What'd they say?

315. Nothing.

316. They just sent me home,

317. and said to bring you guys into the principal's office.

318. On your mother's birthday.

319. They're gonna call you.

320. Just when everything was going good, huh?

321. You're gonna miss the big game.

322. You're screwin' everything up.

323. Your football career, down the drain!

324. There it is.

325. What a beautiful ring.

326. I know.

327. I want you ladies to try this.

328. Mozzarella and string beans?

329. I was gonna get the hot antipast'.

330. It's not mozzarella, this is called buratta.

331. I had it flown in this morning,

332. by Fed Ex, from Italy.

333. It's a lot more subtle and smooth than mozzarella,

334. with an almost, nut-like flavor.

335. Thank you, Artie.

336. I'm not that big on nuts.

337. A little pepper?

338. No pepper.

339. 'Carm, on your half? It's all about the contrast.

340. The crispness of the beans, the smoothness of the cheese.

341. Uh, no, I'm fine.

342. Buon appetito.

343. Tastes like mozzarella and string beans.

344. You have it, 'Carm, I want the hot antipast'.

345. I'd like to make a toast.

346. To the blossoming friendship between our two children.

347. I'm very happy to see my son

348. spending time with someone like Meadow,

349. she'll be a very good influence on him.

350. You did a great job, she's a wonderful girl.

351. Thank you, salut.

352. It's nice to see our families united.

353. Like with Ralphie, he goes on and on

354. about Tony and the promotion.

355. He's very happy to be getting closer to him.

356. Well, Ralph is a real find, Ro,

357. you hang on to him.

358. You know, it was tough at first.

359. I was afraid everyone was gonna think I rushed,

360. that I didn't mourn Jack enough.

361. Oh, Artie!

362. I think he's under a lot of stress.

363. I hear Charmaine hired a lawyer.

364. Divorce?

365. It's funny, but, you'd think,

366. you know, the men in our lives have been,

367. you know what, and we've stayed together,

368. and here's Artie, a regular guy,

369. hardworking, and his marriage is in the pisciadood.

370. You can push a man only so far.

371. True, very true.

372. You know what?

373. If you wait inside for me

374. I'll be in there in just a second, okay?

375. Hello.

376. Who's the douchebag?

377. That douchebag buys a new 600 from me every year.

378. This was last year.

379. Nice.

380. Been shopping?

381. It's for you.

382. It's very beautiful.

383. So are you.

384. What are my chances of kidnapping you

385. for the rest of the afternoon?

386. I'm closing on a car.

387. Come on.

388. Let Hans and Franz do the paperwork.

389. I'm goin' nuts thinking about you.

390. I've gotta work.

391. Trabajar?

392. Come on, come on!

393. I'll take you anywhere you wanna go.

394. The Pierre, the Sherry Netherlands,

395. you pick it, come on, anywhere you wanna go.

396. Wanna go to the zoo?

397. The zoo?

398. Yeah, I try to get there once a year.

399. Alright, we'll go.

400. I'll call you.

401. Amazing thing about snakes

402. is that they reproduce spontaneously.

403. Whaddaya mean?

404. They have both male and female sex organs.

405. That's why somebody you don't trust,

406. you call a snake.

407. How can you trust a guy who can literally

408. go fuck themselves?

409. Don't you think that expression

410. would come from the Adam and Eve story?

411. When the snake tempted eve to bite the apple?

412. Hey, snakes were fuckin' themselves

413. long before Adam and Eve showed up, T.

414. been studying these snakes for over 15 years...

415. hey, how ya doin', kid?

416. Alright.

417. Hey, Jackie.

418. Thanks for coming by.

419. How are you?

420. Have a seat.

421. Want something to drink?

422. What are you having?

423. A little red wine.

424. Okay.

425. I'm goin' to get a couple of slices.

426. You want anything, T?

427. Yeah, get me the usual.

428. Jackie, you want somethin'?

429. No, thanks.

430. So...

431. I hear you're takin' Meadow out tonight.

432. Yeah.

433. Where?

434. A place in the city called "Chez Josephine."

435. The food's supposed to be good,

436. and they have live piano music.

437. Harry Connick Jr. used to play there

438. before he became famous.

439. A friend of mine's brother is the bartender there.

440. Don't you two got class tomorrow?

441. She's got a 2:00 and I'm off.

442. How many days off they give you at Rutgers?

443. I got class three days a week.

444. Listen, I think you're a good kid.

445. You show respect at my house,

446. and you come from a good family.

447. Thanks.

448. As far as my daughter goes,

449. and you know I only want the best for her,

450. I'm gonna be very protective over her.

451. You can understand that, right?

452. Of course.

453. So, if you want to spend time with her,

454. I want the best from you.

455. If you're in school,

456. you gotta give it everything you got.

457. Yeah, right, I know it—

458. shut up, listen to me.

459. I know I been saying this to you all along,

460. but, now it's different.

461. You understand what I'm saying to you?

462. I just got an "A" on my lit. Paper.

463. You did?

464. Edgar Allen Poe.

465. Good writer, what a fuckin' nut job.

466. He's the guy who did all the,

467. the Vincent Price shit, right?

468. The guy smoked opium and married his cousin.

469. He was from the Bronx, you believe that?

470. So, you got an "A", huh?

471. I'm doing good, Tony.

472. Let's keep it that way.

473. Keep your father in mind.

474. I will.

475. Listen...

476. here.

477. Have some dessert on me.

478. No, that's okay.

479. Take it, just don't keep her out too late.

480. I won't, thanks, Tony.

481. Welcome, everybody,

482. to opening night at "Crazy Horse."

483. I'm very excited to have, from U-Dub,

484. our very first band.

485. Please welcome "the Miami Relatives"!

486. What do you think?

487. What?

488. What do you think of this place?

489. I can't hear a word you're saying.

490. How do you like the band?

491. Matush, you don't got those maserati's any more?

492. Only versace, you try it yet?

493. No, I like the maserati, though.

494. Try the versace, you won't be sorry.

495. Hey, hey! What's up?

496. What's up?

497. Come on, let's go, out!

498. I got friends here, man!

499. Let me call my man Carlo!

500. I see you again, I'm gonna crack your head!

501. Call Carlo!

502. You have to wonder what they're thinking.

503. They're thinking, "madonn',

504. you guys ever smell yourselves?

505. 'Cause you're killing us over here!"

506. You're probably right, huh?

507. 'Cept for you.

508. What you got on, even a baboon would love.

509. The eyes are innocent.

510. Like a baby's.

511. Yeah, he could innocently maul you into 10 pieces.

512. Usually, they just engage what's called threat behavior.

513. That's'cause they did all their mauling.

514. Now all they gotta do is give you the look.

515. You know how the primates,

516. they groom each other?

517. That I like.

518. What's this?

519. It's a Tibetan talisman, for protection.

520. I knew it, I knew there had to be something.

521. What?

522. What is wrong with that? It's a Buddhist symbol.

523. My sister was a Buddhist, she's a whackjob.

524. Ah, I see, so I gotta be a whackjob too?

525. Well, it is a little wacky.

526. What's wrong with fuckin' Catholicism?

527. Oh, which you fuckin' practice every fuckin' day,

528. I'm sure.

529. So, I pray a little bit,

530. and I meditate in the morning.

531. It clears my mind and my heart for the day.

532. A Buddhist selling $150,000 cars.

533. The first noble truth is

534. life is suffering,

535. but, the Buddha preached "joyful participation

536. in the sorrows of the world."

537. So, you make a sale, you don't make a sale,

538. it's a tiny little thing.

539. What's so funny?

540. You came here today.

541. What, the zoo?

542. I said, "zoo", and you came.

543. This is a fuckin' head trip now?

544. Huh? Nice!

545. Sorta.

546. I don't like that.

547. You're very sweet.

548. You came.

549. I'm crazy about you.

550. You know that, don't you?

551. I've never met anybody like you.

552. Okay, class, come on, come this way.

553. Stay together, kids, come on.

554. We're gonna see some tigers.

555. You all remember yesterday...

556. you take your kids to the Bronx Zoo?

557. Yeah.

558. And, now we're here.

559. See ya later.

560. Who was that?

561. Oh, that was my hard-on.

562. Oh...

563. between the Buddhism and talk about the family,

564. poor you.

565. Let me see if it's really gone.

566. You lie.

567. You know snakes can fuck themselves?

568. Give me your hand.

569. Oh, Jesus Christ.

570. Don't move.

571. What?

572. See...

573. if you...

574. cannot...

575. so, what happened?

576. He was at "the Crazy Horse",

577. and some zip, he told my man here

578. "new management, new rules."

579. So, I asked around, heard about some guy,

580. multi-something,

581. some made guy in the Soprano family

582. was running things now.

583. I go, "whoa!"

584. Chris Moltisanti.

585. Yeah, that's the name.

586. I know Chris.

587. What's your name again?

588. Matush.

589. Normally, I would never get involved with a stranger,

590. but, if Carlo, here, is vouching for you,

591. I'm willing to make an exception,

592. and take care of it.

593. Thank you.

594. What'd I tell you about my man, Jackie?

595. You know who my father was?

596. The golfer? U. S. Open?

597. Chris and me are associates.

598. You got nothing to worry about.

599. I'll call Carlo in a couple of days.

600. Meeting over.

601. Verbum Dei has a strict, zero-tolerance policy

602. in cases of vandalism.

603. It is a policy that demands the immediate expulsion

604. of the offending student.

605. I told him.

606. You see?

607. Having said that, in this case,

608. after much deliberation and assessment,

609. we have decided upon a suspended sentence.

610. This consideration has only been arrived at

611. based upon Anthony's academic performance

612. and his involvement in extracurricular sport.

613. His academic performance?

614. He's brought his GPA up to a "C

615. So, what is the punishment?

616. We suggest, and hope,

617. that Anthony's punishment be meted out parentally.

618. So, it's not exactly zero tolerance.

619. Each child is special.

620. That's a guiding principle of this school, too.

621. Well, what about detention?

622. A lawsuit a few years back

623. forced us to eliminate our detention program.

624. Well, he's off the football team, right?

625. No.

626. Studies done at Harvard, and elsewhere,

627. have shown that boys have greater success

628. in avoiding the pitfalls of adolescence

629. when they remain committed to,

630. and involved in, sport.

631. You better wipe that smile off your face.

632. Look, I told him he was gonna be off the team.

633. Now, I mean, you're kind of...

634. on the football field,

635. it's leadership qualities as well.

636. We feel that it would be against his best interests,

637. and the team's,

638. to sever his relationship with the squad.

639. Well, if you think that's best...

640. however, and I can't say this strongly enough,

641. if there is but one more infraction of our code,

642. the sentence will immediately go into effect

643. and Anthony will be expelled.

644. Do you understand this, Anthony?

645. Yes.

646. You completely sold us out in there.

647. What'd I do?

648. They are not punishing him at all, Tony,

649. and you went right along with it.

650. I suggested detention.

651. That whole thing was a disgusting charade

652. so that the fucking freshman football team

653. can win the big game.

654. We've been waiting for years for him to get off the couch,

655. this is good for him.

656. Oh, please!

657. We should keep this in the family,

658. punish him at home.

659. He ain't getting off that easy!

660. Overall, it's been a good two weeks.

661. What about the nightmares?

662. None.

663. I had a wonderful dream

664. where I lit the big torch at the Olympics.

665. What do you think that represented?

666. Well, work has been good.

667. My sales are way up.

668. And my performance has been commended

669. by Mercedes Benz U.S.A., with a little plaque.

670. What's going on with your social life?

671. Nothing...

672. right now.

673. But, it's okay.

674. What I'm going to say is a little delicate,

675. but, I think it's important.

676. When you called me last week to cancel,

677. I heard a man's voice.

678. My car broke down.

679. It could've been the mechanic.

680. I see.

681. I'm a little offended that you put it to me that way.

682. Offended, why?

683. Well, I don't pay you to be under your surveillance.

684. How dare you?

685. You came to me after attempting suicide

686. over the break up with Barry.

687. I ask you because you're under my care.

688. I think it's very unprofessional of you

689. to confront me this way.

690. Suicide is something I take very seriously.

691. Well, the doctor in the E.R. said

692. it was only suicidal ideation.

693. Is he trained to give those diagnoses?

694. My car broke down.

695. Fine.

696. I'll believe you.

697. Thank you.

698. To "the Crazy Horse", buona fortuna.

699. Salut.

700. The club business ain't easy,

701. I'll tell you that.

702. With "the Bing",

703. everybody only sees the glitz and glamour.

704. Nobody really knows what goes into it.

705. There's a lot to deal with.

706. I know.

707. See, it's one thing to have a bar and sell drinks,

708. but, when you're dealing with performers,

709. I don't care

710. if it's music, tits,

711. fire-eaters, it's a whole other game,

712. 'cause ultimately,

713. you're relying on them to get the customers in,

714. and spend money.

715. Alright, I'll take it upstairs.

716. How you doin'?

717. Alright.

718. How you doin'?

719. Somebody's sitting there.

720. I'll take a 7&7.

721. And whatever my friend here wants.

722. I'm good.

723. Just 7&7.

724. Congrats on the club.

725. I only have admiration for your progress

726. ever since you got your button.

727. Thanks.

728. Thanks.

729. Sure.

730. I wanted to have a little sit-down withyou

731. about a friend of mine who was doing some business at your club.

732. And when did you want to do this?

733. Now, if it's okay.

734. Now's okay for a chat, not a sit-down.

735. Okay, this friend of mine was movin' a little x

736. at the club before you took over,

737. and the other night he got thrown out on his ass.

738. And?

739. No, I wanted to ask you, as a favor to me,

740. to let him keep a little action goin' on.

741. You'll get a piece of whatever he does.

742. X is federal territory now.

743. They got task forces with dogs and shit,

744. I don't want it in my club.

745. It would mean a lot to me.

746. You got a lotta balls. Did you hear what I said?

747. Yeah.

748. What'd I say?

749. No.

750. End of chat.

751. Okay, thanks.

752. It's all taken care of.

753. Thanks, man.

754. You just can't do it in the club.

755. Have your customers meet you outside.

756. Outside where?

757. Near the club, use your car,

758. or their cars,

759. find an alley...

760. I gotta fuckin' think it all out for you?

761. That's gonna make things a lot harder on me.

762. This all happens for good reason right now.

763. Reasons beyond anything you could possibly know.

764. In time, everything will be revealed to you.

765. Couple of weeks you'll be back inside, don't worry.

766. If that's the way it is, that's the way it is.

767. I'll see you.

768. Are you forgetting something?

769. What?

770. I'm looking out for you here.

771. I gotta eat too, right?

772. Yeah, sure, I'll take care of you.

773. I'll be by every Sunday.

774. Cool.

775. Your father and I have discussed your punishment.

776. You're grounded for a month.

777. That means no nintendo, no dvds, no skateboards.

778. And no computer.

779. I use the computer for school.

780. Get the typewriter out of the basement.

781. Dad threw it out.

782. Then use a pen,

783. it worked for Einstein, it can work for you.

784. And, on top of that, you're gonna work

785. your little ass off around here,

786. which you should've been doin' anyway.

787. Okay.

788. Okay or not, you got no choice.

789. Number one, you go to the garage, you clean it out,

790. you make it neat and organized.

791. Jackie Jr. Did that the other day.

792. See what I'm sayin' about him?

793. You oughta take a few lessons from Jackie Aprile, okay?

794. Get your act together.

795. The kid's pre-med at Rutgers,

796. he finds time to come down here and help out.

797. And, you are going to clean the gutters.

798. What gutters?

799. On the roof.

800. Where?

801. On the edge, the things that collect the water?

802. I don't know what you mean.

803. Don't get smart with me!

804. I don't know.

805. The drainpipes for the rain?

806. C'mere.

807. Very good.

808. Obviously a lady of discerning taste.

809. Come on!

810. I told you once.

811. My man Jackie said—

812. don't fuckin' name drop me!

813. We're gonna take a walk.

814. Well, right arm's still good, no?

815. You think that's funny?

816. Sorry.

817. Tell me what happened.

818. I did like you said, I stayed outside.

819. You musta disrespected them or something.

820. Did you mention my name,

821. that I sat down with Chris?

822. They didn't give a shit.

823. I don't think they like you.

824. I gotta pee.

825. Can you give me the thing?

826. You should get the nurse to help you.

827. That's what they get paid for.

828. Maybe she'll be fine and give you a cheap thrill.

829. Hello... Kelli? Hiya, hon.

830. It's your sister.

831. Now, this is the most crucial part.

832. You put the pasta back in the pot,

833. you add a little gravy...

834. and a little butter,

835. then,

836. you put the fire back on,

837. for 45 seconds, stir it up, real nice.

838. 45 seconds?

839. Yeah, that way the macaroni absorbs the gravy

840. instead of just coats it.

841. This is for flavor.

842. I need a favor.

843. What?

844. I need a piece.

845. I mean, I don't need one, but,

846. you know.

847. Anything you wanna tell me?

848. No, it's just I think it's time, I...

849. you know.

850. What are you lookin' to get?

851. I don't know, what do you suggest?

852. Me, I like to know the motherfucker's gonna work.

853. And a.38...

854. it'll never jam on you,

855. plus, it's small.

856. But, if you're lookin' to make a point,

857. you might wanna go with something bigger.

858. Nah, it's not really for intimidation.

859. It's just in case.

860. I'd go with the.38.

861. You can have this one.

862. I got another one under the bed.

863. How much I owe you for it?

864. Get outta here, your money's no good.

865. Macaroni's ready!

866. I just wanna tell you,

867. that I don't expect anything from you.

868. Well, kindness, but, that's it.

869. Okay.

870. God!

871. You really are in love with yourself,

872. aren't you?

873. What do you mean, conceited?

874. Self-centered.

875. Okay, there's a bunch of alternates

876. you could've said.

877. You deprive yourself of nothing.

878. You think I'm vain?

879. I think you're wonderful.

880. "And her name is "G."

881. A-ha.

882. Some of my accounts are in bad neighborhoods.

883. I know why you lie...

884. but, you don't have to.

885. Can I hold it?

886. It's heavy.

887. Is it loaded?

888. Nothing's more useless than an unloaded gun.

889. Here you go.

890. Mr. Waste Management.

891. Come here.

892. I mean we're paying the school,

893. we're buying a service.

894. And if it's their opinion that he shouldn't get treated too harshly...

895. you gotta listen to the experts, right?

896. What else is going on?

897. How was the rest of your week?

898. To be honest, very good.

899. Why is that?

900. Well, that's how life is, I guess.

901. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

902. Things come, things go.

903. How are things between you and Carmela?

904. She was moody for a little while,

905. but, now she's her old self.

906. Maybe it was coming here.

907. Possibly.

908. Well, you do look happy, I must say.

909. Yeah.

910. I went to the zoo the other day.

911. The zoo?

912. Yeah.

913. Sometimes you gotta get away, and,

914. stop and smell the gorilla shit.

915. It was good to be in nature though.

916. And the zoo made you happy.

917. Yeah.

918. I think a lot of it's 'cause of you, too.

919. You put a lot of time into me,

920. and, now, it's payin' off.

921. The progress that you make

922. is entirely up to you,

923. and how willing you are

924. to be honest with yourself and with me.

925. Well, I am improving.

926. You have to joyfully participate

927. in the suffering of the world.

928. Your thoughts have a,

929. kind of Eastern flavor to them.

930. Well, I've lived in Jersey my whole life.

931. I mean Eastern in terms of Asian.

932. Like Buddhist or Taoist.

933. Sun Tzu...

934. I told you about him.

935. We have to stop now.

936. Alright.

937. This is the co-pay

938. I owe you from last month.

939. You gave me too much.

940. Well, I gave you a little extra

941. for the good results this week.

942. I can't accept it.

943. Give it to your favorite charity.

944. You better get your phone.

945. I'll see ya next week.

946. Hello.

947. Hi, mom.

948. Hi, Jason.

949. How are you?

950. I hate all of them!

951. Who?

952. My patients, all of them!

953. Lying to my face, full of shit,

954. with no concern for what I do

955. or the position that they put me in.

956. I just hate them.

957. Fuck 'em, quit.

958. Right now, that doesn't sound like a bad idea.

959. I'm sorry.

960. How are you?

961. I'm okay.

962. I need to buy a couple of expensive books.

963. Como sta.

964. Hey, Ton'. How's it goin'?

965. Hope you're doin' alright.

966. Excuse me.

967. I don't want no teammates.

968. Tony!

969. How ya doin'?

970. You up?

971. No.

972. Take a hit.

973. Hit me.

974. You shouldn't have listened to me,

975. it's your hand.

976. I would've hit anyway.

977. C'mere, I wanna talk to you a minute.

978. What the fuck are you doing here?

979. You're here.

980. What?

981. I was at a bachelor party, I got dragged here...

982. this is exactly what the fuck we talked about the other day.

983. Now get your money, and get the fuck out of here!

984. Sorry, Tony.

985. I never wanna see you here again.

986. You won't.

987. Smarten up.

988. Good morning.

989. New earrings.

990. I went out and treated myself.

991. They match.

992. I almost bought the necklace that goes along with them,

993. but... some restraint.

994. Although Christmas is coming, so...

995. maybe.

996. Any cannolis left from yesterday?

997. I think you can answer that question yourself.

998. Meadow still here?

999. Jackie Jr. took her to the city to see "Aida."

1000. "I eat her"?

1001. It's the Elton John musical on broadway.

1002. Oh.

1003. I have to say, you were right, Tony.

1004. Jackie Jr. has really surprised me.

1005. He's been a perfect gentleman,

1006. he takes her to the city for a little culture,

1007. he's great with A.J.

1008. So long as she does good in school,

1009. things could be a lot worse.