1. Hey, you got
the crescent wrench?Copy !req
2. Fucking thing,
nobody ever puts it back...Copy !req
3. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.Copy !req
4. Tony!Copy !req
5. Tony!Copy !req
6. Oh, my God, Tony,
are you all right?Copy !req
7. Uncle Ben.Copy !req
8. What happened?Copy !req
9. Hey. What are you doing here?Copy !req
10. We had to drive out here
'cause some schmuckCopy !req
11. stole the VCR
from the common room.Copy !req
12. Public Enemy.Copy !req
13. This is a great movie.Copy !req
14. For a class. Just finished.Copy !req
15. We're out of here.Copy !req
16. Forty grand a year
to watch old movies?
Who's "we"?Copy !req
17. Just a friend
from class, okay?Copy !req
18. Your mom
likes lavender.Copy !req
19. I'll be ready
to bolt in a sec.Copy !req
20. - Mr. Soprano?
- Yeah.Copy !req
21. Hey, I'm Noah Tannenbaum.Copy !req
22. How you doing?Copy !req
23. Appreciate you
letting us screen here.Copy !req
24. Those Bose direct reflectors
make all the difference.Copy !req
25. You a film buff?Copy !req
26. People say Hawks invented
the genre with Scarface,Copy !req
27. but Cagney was modernity.Copy !req
28. Muni was not,
so I give the nod
to William Wellman.Copy !req
29. Noah, I'm just gonna grab
the Barenaked Ladies CD,Copy !req
30. and then let's hit the road.Copy !req
31. Last year this course
is being offered.Copy !req
32. "Images of Hypercapitalist
Self-AdvancementCopy !req
33. in the Era
of the Studio System."Copy !req
34. So you guys, um...Copy !req
35. you know, you and Meadow,Copy !req
36. are you, uh...?Copy !req
37. Little early to say.Copy !req
38. What's your background, Noel?Copy !req
39. Noah.Copy !req
40. I'm from Los Angeles.
West L.A.Copy !req
41. - No, what I mean is...
- My family's in the business.Copy !req
42. I mean show business.Copy !req
43. I don't know why
they call it "the business."Copy !req
44. Those old Tarzan movies?Copy !req
45. My dad's
an entertainment lawyer.Copy !req
46. Oh.Copy !req
47. No, what I mean is,
like, we're Italian.Copy !req
48. Oh, my dad is JewishCopy !req
49. and my mother's family
is African-American.Copy !req
50. "Tannenbaum." Right.Copy !req
51. But on your application
to Columbia,Copy !req
52. you didn't check "Jewish,"
did you?Copy !req
53. No, they can't ask
about religious affiliation.Copy !req
54. Oh, right.
Right, of course.Copy !req
55. What'd you check?Copy !req
56. African-American.Copy !req
57. So we do understand
each other here?Copy !req
58. You're a ditsoon.Copy !req
59. Excuse me?Copy !req
60. A charcoal briquette.Copy !req
61. A moolinyan.Copy !req
62. What's your problem?Copy !req
63. I think you know
what my problem is.Copy !req
64. You see, your little
friend up there,Copy !req
65. she didn't do you any favors
bringing you into this house.Copy !req
66. Now, I don't know
what the fuck she was thinking.Copy !req
67. We'll get to that later.Copy !req
68. See, I got business
associates who are black,Copy !req
69. and they don't want my son
with their daughters,Copy !req
70. and I don't want
their sons with mine.Copy !req
71. Fuck you!Copy !req
72. See, that's the kind of thing
I'm hoping to avoid.Copy !req
73. So when my little girl
comes down the stairs,Copy !req
74. you're gonna say how nice
it was to meet me.Copy !req
75. Then you're gonna go
drop her off at schoolCopy !req
76. and you're gonna
say goodbye.Copy !req
77. Come on if you want
to see the Garden State.Copy !req
78. We're gonna drop by Hunter's.
I want her to meet Noah.Copy !req
79. Then we'll be back
to pick up my laundry.Copy !req
80. Later, Dad.Copy !req
81. I don't got time
for these fucking attacks.Copy !req
82. You were so good
for months.Copy !req
83. If you didn't
instigate things...Copy !req
84. - I instigate?
- He's just a new friend, Tony.Copy !req
85. You didn't see the way
they were looking at each other.Copy !req
86. You want her to be with him,
just keep it up.Copy !req
87. Keep playing the race card,Copy !req
88. you're gonna drive her
right into his arms.Copy !req
89. Not if I cut off
those fucking arms.Copy !req
90. Stop it.Copy !req
91. Let me deal with it,Copy !req
92. if anybody's
gonna deal with it.Copy !req
93. Make things worse
with your bullshit,Copy !req
94. I'm gonna be really pissed.Copy !req
95. I should call Cusamano.Copy !req
96. You might need stitches.Copy !req
97. Yeah, if one of my sisters
ever brought homeCopy !req
98. a fucking butterhead,Copy !req
99. you know what
my old man would do?Copy !req
100. Hey, Ma.Copy !req
101. Look who calls.Copy !req
102. Well, actually, I'm standing
here in front of you.Copy !req
103. Ah.Copy !req
104. Hey.Copy !req
105. So how's it going?Copy !req
106. What do you care?Copy !req
107. Out of sight,
out of mind.Copy !req
108. Brought you some
books on tape,Copy !req
109. since you say you can't
concentrate to read.Copy !req
110. I wish the Lord
would take me now.Copy !req
111. Well, in the meantime,Copy !req
112. brought you
The Horse Whisperer
and Omerta.Copy !req
113. Why? What's wrong, tell me?Copy !req
114. What, are you gonna freak outCopy !req
115. every time I try
to do something nice for you?Copy !req
116. Jesus.Copy !req
117. What's this?Copy !req
118. She's going to finish baby
journals from long time ago.Copy !req
119. My idea.Copy !req
120. Oh, yeah, I remember these.Copy !req
121. Carmela gave you one of these
for each of the kidsCopy !req
122. when they were born.Copy !req
123. What the fuck?Copy !req
124. Look at this.Copy !req
125. Supposed to fill these out.
20 years, fat fucking nothing.Copy !req
126. Now, look here, I don't like
that kind of talk.Copy !req
127. Now, just stop it.
It upsets me.Copy !req
128. Carmela's mother returned
these books to the kidsCopy !req
129. filled with memories.Copy !req
130. You can't write
stuff down from your life
for your grandkids?Copy !req
131. It's none of
anybody's business.Copy !req
132. Yeah, you're too busy
feeling sorry for yourself.Copy !req
133. She will do it.Copy !req
134. It's good for her.
She realize that.Copy !req
135. Keep her mind active.Copy !req
136. Why do anything if there's
not something in it for her?Copy !req
137. All right, listen up.Copy !req
138. I want you to concentrate.Copy !req
139. I know it's difficult.Copy !req
140. Remember the airline tickets?Copy !req
141. The tickets were stolen.Copy !req
142. Did you say that,
or did the feds say that?Copy !req
143. What did you tell them
when you were in the lockup?Copy !req
144. Oh! What?
What did I do?Copy !req
145. This is important.Copy !req
146. They're trying to build
a RICO case against me.Copy !req
147. What are you gonna say if they
put you on the witness stand?Copy !req
148. 'Cause the only reason
they let you goCopy !req
149. is to get your cooperation.Copy !req
150. Ah.Copy !req
151. Don't wave your hankie at me.Copy !req
152. What are you gonna say
from now on?Copy !req
153. I never stated those tickets
were stolen, capisce?Copy !req
154. Now, Barbara will testify
I didn't say it,Copy !req
155. but you gotta back her up.Copy !req
156. I suppose I should've just kept
my mouth shut, like a mute.Copy !req
157. In the future,Copy !req
158. any kind of deal
they try to make,Copy !req
159. you keep your mouth shut.Copy !req
160. You know, for a year,
I didn't speak to you.Copy !req
161. Maybe I should've
kept it that way.Copy !req
162. Oh...Copy !req
163. Fuck it, do what you want.Copy !req
164. Did you say something to Noah?Copy !req
165. If you're smart, you'll keep
walking down those stairs.Copy !req
166. You did.
What did you say?Copy !req
167. He was all quiet at Hunter's.
She thinks he's a snob.Copy !req
168. Now he's just sitting
out in the car.Copy !req
169. What, you didn't hear me?Copy !req
170. Maybe if I say it in Swahili.Copy !req
171. Meadow, can you
come up here please?Copy !req
172. What?Copy !req
173. I need your helpCopy !req
174. with this clasp.Copy !req
175. That ain't our beer.
Where'd you get this slop?Copy !req
176. Well, it's good, ain't it?
And it's cheaper than yours.Copy !req
177. Is my laundry done?Copy !req
178. You can sell ours
for the same price.Copy !req
179. I can't help it if I have
to buy from Schemer Burns.Copy !req
180. - They tell me the same
thing that you do.
- Ah, you're yellow.Copy !req
181. Please, you ain't
gonna slug me, are you?Copy !req
182. What?Copy !req
183. Your mother died.Copy !req
184. You're kidding?Copy !req
185. I mean, uh...Copy !req
186. Jesus Christ.Copy !req
187. Svetlana just called.Copy !req
188. She said that after dinner,Copy !req
189. your mother went upstairs
to get ready for bed.Copy !req
190. When Svetlana came up,Copy !req
191. your mother was under
the covers in her nightgown.Copy !req
192. Svetlana thought
she was asleep.Copy !req
193. Svetlana's waiting for us
over there.Copy !req
194. She's dead.Copy !req
195. I'm sorry, Dad...Copy !req
196. that your mom died.Copy !req
197. Me too.Copy !req
198. Hey, your grandmother loved you.Copy !req
199. She loved both you two
very much.Copy !req
200. They just removed.Copy !req
201. We saw.Copy !req
202. She was in no pain,
Tony.Copy !req
203. What about the cause of death?
Did they say?Copy !req
204. Massive stroke.Copy !req
205. Yeah.Copy !req
206. So she will not
be finishing journal.Copy !req
207. I break promise to you, Tony.Copy !req
208. Does not often happen with me,Copy !req
209. that these old ones
get away with something.Copy !req
210. A journal?Copy !req
211. Nothing.Copy !req
212. Those "granny remembers" booksCopy !req
213. you bought her
when the kids were born.Copy !req
214. She never touched them.Copy !req
215. What's your beef?Copy !req
216. Asshole Robert Frost.Copy !req
217. How am I supposed to know
what this means?Copy !req
218. Like I even care.Copy !req
219. "Stopping by Woods
on a Snowy Evening."Copy !req
220. Oh, my God, I'm so glad
I'm not in high school
anymore.Copy !req
221. - You read this?
- Sure.Copy !req
222. What does it mean?Copy !req
223. I have to turn in
a close-read by tomorrow.Copy !req
224. What does it mean?Copy !req
225. "The woods are lovely,
dark and deep,Copy !req
226. "but I have promises to keepCopy !req
227. and miles to go before I sleep."Copy !req
228. Okay, look, where is he?Copy !req
229. He's in a field on a horse.Copy !req
230. He's not on the horse.Copy !req
231. The horse has bells.Copy !req
232. - So?
- What kind of horse has bells?Copy !req
233. I don't know!Copy !req
234. Just give me the fucking answer
so I can write this.Copy !req
235. A horse that's pulling a sleigh.Copy !req
236. Oh.Copy !req
237. So this is
a Thanksgiving poem,Copy !req
238. like, "Over the River
and Through the Woods,"Copy !req
239. to grandma's house we go.Copy !req
240. No, it's not
a Thanksgiving poem.Copy !req
241. What's covering the field?Copy !req
242. - Snow.
- Yay!Copy !req
243. And what does snow symbolize?Copy !req
244. Christmas?Copy !req
245. Hello?Copy !req
246. Cold, endless white.Copy !req
247. Endless nothing?Copy !req
248. I don't know!Copy !req
249. - Death.
- I thought black was death.Copy !req
250. He has miles to go
before he sleeps.Copy !req
251. So, he must be far away
from his house.Copy !req
252. The sleep of death.Copy !req
253. The big sleep.Copy !req
254. He's talking
about his own death,Copy !req
255. which is yet to come,
but will come.Copy !req
256. That's fucked up.Copy !req
257. Gotta go.Copy !req
258. I thought black was death.Copy !req
259. White too.Copy !req
260. I'm coming, I'm coming!Copy !req
261. Grandma?Copy !req
262. I just can't believe it.Copy !req
263. What are you gonna do?Copy !req
264. I'll call Janice.Copy !req
265. I'll meet you at Cozzerelli's
around noon.Copy !req
266. I already called.Copy !req
267. Ma didn't want any kind
of service, Tony.Copy !req
268. No remembrance at all.Copy !req
269. So, we'll pick out
a simple urn or whatever.Copy !req
270. I'll see you there.Copy !req
271. Proshai, Livushka.Copy !req
272. Which means what?Copy !req
273. "Goodbye, little Livia."Copy !req
274. He's been in this situation
a million times,Copy !req
275. and has upped the ante
when needed.Copy !req
276. Every time.Copy !req
277. Ton'.Copy !req
278. Anthony, turn that off.Copy !req
279. I'm sorry.Copy !req
280. We all know how much
you loved her.Copy !req
281. Thanks.Copy !req
282. I could imagine
how you feel.Copy !req
283. Yeah, well...Copy !req
284. what are you gonna do?Copy !req
285. I'm sorry, T.Copy !req
286. What are you gonna do, you know?Copy !req
287. At least
she didn't suffer.Copy !req
288. - Thank God.
- Absolutely.Copy !req
289. That's right.
That's right.Copy !req
290. My God.Copy !req
291. What next, huh?Copy !req
292. How is Tony taking it?Copy !req
293. Oh, what the fuck!Copy !req
294. Goddamn fucking bitch!Copy !req
295. She was so awful.Copy !req
296. What do I tell my kids
when their own auntCopy !req
297. won't even come to a funeral?Copy !req
298. Take it easy,
I'll handle it.Copy !req
299. And then he goes, "You gotta
work on Columbus Day weekend."Copy !req
300. Eat your eggs, baby.Copy !req
301. Ace Garage.Copy !req
302. You're not coming to your own
mother's fucking funeral?Copy !req
303. May I speak?Copy !req
304. You got your sister sobbing!Copy !req
305. May I speak?Copy !req
306. Go the fuck ahead!Copy !req
307. You may recall, Tony,Copy !req
308. that I have very good
and valid reasonsCopy !req
309. why I should not present myself
in the state of New Jersey.Copy !req
310. Oh, Jesus, that case
is colder than your tit.Copy !req
311. It'd do you good to show up here
at this point.Copy !req
312. Nothing to hide!Copy !req
313. I don't do well
at funerals, Tony.Copy !req
314. Who does? You just don't want
to get your assCopy !req
315. out of whatever chair it's in.Copy !req
316. I'm gonna hang the fuck up!Copy !req
317. She didn't even want
a funeral, Janice.Copy !req
318. But can't you come sit
with your familyCopy !req
319. during this stressful time?Copy !req
320. She was your mother.Copy !req
321. Well, you can just
get on a plane,Copy !req
322. but for us working folk...Copy !req
323. Oh, listen to this.
Woody Guthrie over here.Copy !req
324. You know, they got
special rates for family death.Copy !req
325. Yeah, half of full fare coach,Copy !req
326. which at this late date
comes to $1,100.Copy !req
327. Fully researched
and everything, huh?Copy !req
328. All right, fuck it,
I'll pay it.Copy !req
329. Can I bring my fiancée?Copy !req
330. Fuck that!
One seat, coach.Copy !req
331. And if you don't show up,
let me tell you right now,Copy !req
332. don't come breezing
in here when it's time
to carve up the estate.Copy !req
333. I know you think Ma's got money
buried in the house.Copy !req
334. What are you telling people
about that other thing?Copy !req
335. Richie? He vanished into
the Witness Protection Program.Copy !req
336. It's the truth,
right, Janice?Copy !req
337. Hm.Copy !req
338. Cozzerelli's funeral home,
noon tomorrow.Copy !req
339. Does Harper know
his grandmother died?Copy !req
340. Him I'll pay for.Copy !req
341. Bring him down from Montreal.Copy !req
342. He is your son.Copy !req
343. Hal is on the pavers, Tony.Copy !req
344. He's, um... a street person.Copy !req
345. I'm sorry, I didn't know.Copy !req
346. See, you're not the only one
with problems.Copy !req
347. Be there tomorrow.Copy !req
348. Ain't you got a drink
in the house?Copy !req
349. Oh, gee, I wish...Copy !req
350. There you go with that
wishing stuff again.Copy !req
351. I wish you was
a wishing well,Copy !req
352. so that I could tie a bucket
to you and sink you.Copy !req
353. Maybe you found someone
you like better.Copy !req
354. Oh, Tommy!Copy !req
355. Let me make you
a cup of tea.Copy !req
356. Well, listen, Ma, I came over
to give you something.Copy !req
357. Here, take this.Copy !req
358. And when you need any more,
just say so. I'm making plenty.Copy !req
359. - We don't want your money.
- I'm taking care of Ma.Copy !req
360. - On two bits a week?
- Ma don't go to nightclubsCopy !req
361. - and she don't
drink champagne.
- How do you know?Copy !req
362. I used to dance
when I was a girl.Copy !req
363. Money don't mean nothing to me.Copy !req
364. No, I guess not, but with
no heart and no brains,Copy !req
365. that's all you've got,
you'll need it.Copy !req
366. Tommy, Tommy!Copy !req
367. Oh, Tommy!Copy !req
368. His mother died last night.Copy !req
369. No shit?Copy !req
370. Ton', I'm so sorry to hear.Copy !req
371. What are you gonna do?Copy !req
372. I know how you feel.Copy !req
373. We lost Mom last year.Copy !req
374. You remember?Copy !req
375. At least she didn't suffer.Copy !req
376. Ralphie, I need to talk to you.
And, Albert...Copy !req
377. you too.Copy !req
378. Vito, have a sfogliatell'.Copy !req
379. Carmela, she's gone!Copy !req
380. Come on.Copy !req
381. All right, who gave the order
to torch one of Albert's trucks?Copy !req
382. One of the trucks.Copy !req
383. Be quiet, Albert.Copy !req
384. Talk to him.
He lit up two of my Dumpsters.Copy !req
385. What's the matter with you?Copy !req
386. Both of you.Copy !req
387. We're in the newspapers every
fucking week with this shit.Copy !req
388. My crew is in lineCopy !req
389. for the Raritan Township
contract, okay?Copy !req
390. This guy over there keeps
whispering to Albert...Copy !req
391. Your what?
What did you say?Copy !req
392. Whose crew?Copy !req
393. You're the boss,
you get to put in anybody
you want over the crew.Copy !req
394. You're a captain, Ralphie,
when I say you're a captain.Copy !req
395. And I'm gonna turn up my
hearing aid so I don't miss it.Copy !req
396. Oh, you're gonna
get cute with me?Copy !req
397. With my mother lying dead?Copy !req
398. Raritan Township, the recycling
manager over there, Joe Zachary,Copy !req
399. he knows who's in line
for that contract.Copy !req
400. But he keeps playing
footsie with Albert.Copy !req
401. The next minute,
he's threatening to go
to the EPA, bust us all.Copy !req
402. He said that?Copy !req
403. All right, fix it.Copy !req
404. No more fires.Copy !req
405. Dude, I'm gonna ditch Spanish.Copy !req
406. I'll meet you
by the trophy case.Copy !req
407. How could we possibly
get busted?Copy !req
408. Don't worry about it.
The boys' room behind the stage?Copy !req
409. They never check in there.Copy !req
410. Mr. Soprano, Janice, Barb.Copy !req
411. Please accept
my condolences.Copy !req
412. I'll use all my powers,
all my skills.Copy !req
413. All right, don't go crazy.
I mean, you know?Copy !req
414. Then we're not envisioning
any visitation hours for Mom?Copy !req
415. Well, you see,Copy !req
416. she didn't want any service
of any kind.Copy !req
417. I find that hard
to accept.Copy !req
418. Is...Copy !req
419. Is she still down
at the hospital morgue?Copy !req
420. We brought Mom here
this morning.Copy !req
421. She's downstairs.Copy !req
422. There's gonna be a priest
or something, though, right?Copy !req
423. Well, yeah, sure,
a priest, I guess.Copy !req
424. But...Copy !req
425. What would that be?Copy !req
426. You're not having
a funeral Mass?Copy !req
427. And I'm not trying to sell here.Copy !req
428. Well, she was Catholic,
but not religious.Copy !req
429. Mm.Copy !req
430. I thought maybe we'd have
a shindig at the house.Copy !req
431. You know, after,Copy !req
432. so the grandkids could,
you know...Copy !req
433. I don't know.Copy !req
434. I mean, I do know
what Mom's wishes were,Copy !req
435. but not to have
a wake or a funeral?Copy !req
436. It makes us look like
we're unloving children,Copy !req
437. not to mention cheapskates.Copy !req
438. Who gives a shit
what it looks like?Copy !req
439. The woman expressed her wishes.Copy !req
440. I wish to honor my mother.Copy !req
441. There's a lot of things I could
say now I'm not gonna say!Copy !req
442. What, you think we should
do something now?Copy !req
443. When she was young,
she used to picture her funeral.Copy !req
444. All right, fine,
you want to do something?Copy !req
445. Let's just do it.
Let's stop talking about it.Copy !req
446. Cozzerelli,
you arrange everything.Copy !req
447. The wake, the funeral,
you send me the bill.Copy !req
448. I want you to know, Tony,
that this all won't fall on you.Copy !req
449. I'll do a painting for
the overleaf of the programCopy !req
450. at the service.Copy !req
451. Motifs from the Mexican
Day of the Dead.Copy !req
452. Oh, one thing that I'd like
to suggest very strongly is,Copy !req
453. at the house,Copy !req
454. everyone gathers and each one
can voice a remembranceCopy !req
455. or a feeling about Mom.Copy !req
456. No, no, no, I don't want any
of that California bullshit.Copy !req
457. People can drink,
they can eat some Gorgonzola.Copy !req
458. They want to yak about Ma,
that's their business.Copy !req
459. No, "I'm sorry,"
"my condolences," nothing.Copy !req
460. Actually, that's good.Copy !req
461. It's a relief
you're not saying nothing,Copy !req
462. you want to know the truth.Copy !req
463. Everybody else, all bullshit.Copy !req
464. All right,
here's the thing.Copy !req
465. I'm glad she's dead.Copy !req
466. Not just glad.
I wished she'd die.Copy !req
467. Wished.Copy !req
468. Got this court case coming up.Copy !req
469. She might have
testified against me,Copy !req
470. so when I heard she was dead,
relief flooded into my veins.Copy !req
471. How do you feel about the factCopy !req
472. that your own mother would have
testified against you?Copy !req
473. Oh, come on, will you
listen to yourself?Copy !req
474. I mean, is that right,
wishing her dead?Copy !req
475. Is that being a good son?Copy !req
476. A good son?Copy !req
477. Yeah, a good son.Copy !req
478. - I mean, bad sons...
- Bad sons, what?Copy !req
479. They should fucking die.Copy !req
480. That's a fucking miserab',Copy !req
481. disgusting thing to be,
a bad son.Copy !req
482. I mean, your kid up at Bard,
he better be a good son, right?Copy !req
483. You know what?
You're right.Copy !req
484. Why the fuck
should I be a good sonCopy !req
485. to that fucking
demented old bat,Copy !req
486. that fucking selfish
miserable cunt?Copy !req
487. She ruined my father's life.Copy !req
488. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
489. But he wasn't her son.Copy !req
490. What did she do to you?Copy !req
491. Come on, that's a matter
of public record in here.Copy !req
492. We both know.Copy !req
493. You don't like to say it,
do you?Copy !req
494. Who knows if she even
knew what she was doing.Copy !req
495. You're letting her off.Copy !req
496. My uncle denies it, you know,
that she took part.Copy !req
497. Your uncle loves you.Copy !req
498. I never said he didn't!Copy !req
499. Grown children often secretly
wish for an aged parent to die,Copy !req
500. and it's not necessary
for the parentCopy !req
501. to be a witness
for the prosecution.Copy !req
502. It's a taboo thought,
but common.Copy !req
503. Particularly if the parent
has lost all capacity for joyCopy !req
504. at being alive.Copy !req
505. So we're probably
done here, right?Copy !req
506. She's dead.Copy !req
507. What's happening?Copy !req
508. Tony Soprano's mother's wake
is tonight.Copy !req
509. Want me to wear a wire?Copy !req
510. Why not?Copy !req
511. You need batteries?Copy !req
512. Let's go right over here
to Office Depot.Copy !req
513. Janice.Copy !req
514. I'm downstairs!Copy !req
515. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
516. Mom would want a closed casket,
don't you agree?Copy !req
517. Yeah, definitely.Copy !req
518. You know, they usually put
a picture on the casket.Copy !req
519. What do you think?Copy !req
520. Wow, look at that.Copy !req
521. She's smiling.Copy !req
522. She looks...Copy !req
523. normal.Copy !req
524. Maybe it was us kidsCopy !req
525. who turned her into
a freaking sourpuss.Copy !req
526. - Maybe it was one of us.
- Oh, get...Copy !req
527. Get the fuck... Get off!Copy !req
528. All right, all right,
all right, all right.Copy !req
529. You know,
maybe you're right.Copy !req
530. My shrink says that all women
are not cut out to be mothers.Copy !req
531. Is that a slam at me?Copy !req
532. No.Copy !req
533. Look, if my father was in
the freaking Cirque de Soleil,Copy !req
534. maybe I would've turned out
like Har... Hal.Copy !req
535. - Well, this is fucking weird.
- What?Copy !req
536. None of my childhood
schoolwork or artwork,Copy !req
537. or anything, for that matter
is here anymore, and nor Barb's.Copy !req
538. Get the fuck out of here.Copy !req
539. "Anthony Soprano.Copy !req
540. Seventh grade.
Mr. Martino."Copy !req
541. I had him.Copy !req
542. "Why Fear Strikes Out by
Jim Piersall is a good book."Copy !req
543. Well, take a look.Copy !req
544. She only saved yours.Copy !req
545. What are you talking about?Copy !req
546. Here's Barbara's
communion certificate.Copy !req
547. Here's her baby shoe.Copy !req
548. Yeah, that's it.Copy !req
549. Nothing of mine.Copy !req
550. I mean, everybody agreedCopy !req
551. that I had extraordinary
visualization skills.Copy !req
552. Those pencil drawings
that I did of Grandpa.Copy !req
553. They're good.Copy !req
554. Ton', sorry.Copy !req
555. Tony, I'm... I'm sorry.Copy !req
556. He's disrespectful.Copy !req
557. Thanks for coming.Copy !req
558. Fucking motherfucking
pain in the fucking ass!Copy !req
559. Could we not, huh?Copy !req
560. With the tantrums?Copy !req
561. For this shit, I missed
the Jets' first home game!Copy !req
562. Are they saying when your
making ceremony might happenCopy !req
563. now with this delay?Copy !req
564. Stop asking
fucking questions!Copy !req
565. Even if I knew,
I couldn't tell you.Copy !req
566. Hit me, hit me.Copy !req
567. Every little bit helps.Copy !req
568. Anything to get through
these events.Copy !req
569. Hey.Copy !req
570. What a fucking blow.Copy !req
571. - Not you too.
- I'm serious!Copy !req
572. What, are you breaking the terms
of your house arrest?Copy !req
573. I got a dispensation
from the marshals.Copy !req
574. She's my sister-in-law,
for chrissake.Copy !req
575. My dad's very ill too.Copy !req
576. Well, thanks.Copy !req
577. Thanks for coming.Copy !req
578. Tony, allow me
to express my condolencesCopy !req
579. and those of the Eighth Ward.Copy !req
580. Thank you, Assemblyman.Copy !req
581. I met your mom
once or twice.Copy !req
582. That was a...Copy !req
583. a proud Newarker.Copy !req
584. Oh, hey, hey.Copy !req
585. - Reverend.
- My sympathies, Tony.Copy !req
586. We talked about this day,
did we not?Copy !req
587. You know State Assemblyman
Zellman, right?Copy !req
588. - From the Eighth Ward?
- Do I know this guy? You bet.Copy !req
589. Yes, we go way back.Copy !req
590. How are you,
Assemblyman?Copy !req
591. Reverend.Copy !req
592. Uncle Jun', you all right?Copy !req
593. They're dropping
like fucking flies.Copy !req
594. It's all that charcoal-broiled
meat you people ate.Copy !req
595. Nobody told us till the '80s.Copy !req
596. I'm kidding you,
you old fuck.Copy !req
597. What's the matter with you?Copy !req
598. Bacala said you wanted
to see me.Copy !req
599. I gotta talk to that wife
of yours first.Copy !req
600. - Uncle Jun', come on.
- This is a funeral.Copy !req
601. Enough of her soigné attitude.Copy !req
602. Well, that's easy...Copy !req
603. - What do you want?
- I'm hoping that we canCopy !req
604. use this sad occasion
to put bitternessCopy !req
605. and soreheaded feelings aside.Copy !req
606. I'll behave how Tony wants.Copy !req
607. I don't want to add
to his stress.Copy !req
608. There they are.Copy !req
609. Hi, Uncle Jun'.Copy !req
610. Hey, Uncle Jun'.Copy !req
611. How's that surfboard
I gave you?Copy !req
612. Ow!Copy !req
613. Jun', Tony's waiting.Copy !req
614. Ralphie Cifaretto
got word to me.Copy !req
615. So, what does he want?Copy !req
616. He wants a bump
up to captain.Copy !req
617. The kid's been a top
fucking earnerCopy !req
618. ever since that rat bastard
went in the program.Copy !req
619. You can't deny it.Copy !req
620. Ralphie's whipped Richie's
crew into shape over there.Copy !req
621. And three months ago, by you,Copy !req
622. the rat bastard was
the Second fucking Coming.Copy !req
623. Why do you do this to me?Copy !req
624. Because I'm the boss
of this family, you forget.Copy !req
625. I forget nothing.Copy !req
626. Don't make me say things
to you we'll regret.Copy !req
627. Go ahead,
I'm fucking fed up.Copy !req
628. Hey.Copy !req
629. I'm on the street.Copy !req
630. That's the arrangement.Copy !req
631. Stay home, clip your coupons,
be a happy man.Copy !req
632. Things are good,
I'll grant you that.Copy !req
633. - Yeah, right.
- But this economy is so robust,Copy !req
634. you get credit for shit
you had nothing to do with.Copy !req
635. Fucking Chinks and housewives
are betting football.Copy !req
636. You better be finished.Copy !req
637. Joe Zachary?Copy !req
638. Yeah.Copy !req
639. Oh, boys, no fires.Copy !req
640. Tony doesn't want any fires.Copy !req
641. Ow!Copy !req
642. I ain't so tough.Copy !req
643. Well, Doc,
what do you think?Copy !req
644. Can't say.Copy !req
645. Well, we'll hope
for the best.Copy !req
646. Doctor, this is Tom's mother,
brother, and Miss Doyle.Copy !req
647. The Lord bless her
and keep her.Copy !req
648. The Lord make His face
to shine upon her
and be gracious to her.Copy !req
649. The Lord lift up
His countenance upon her
and give her peace.Copy !req
650. Amen.Copy !req
651. Amen.Copy !req
652. Did you talk to her?Copy !req
653. She's sure you said
something to him.Copy !req
654. He won't discuss it.
He clams up.Copy !req
655. Beautiful sendoff, T.Copy !req
656. Thank you, thank you.Copy !req
657. 10-4.Copy !req
658. I want to thank you for
all you've done for her.Copy !req
659. She was much work.Copy !req
660. But in the end,
she defeated me.Copy !req
661. Anyway, we're not
gonna be needingCopy !req
662. your services anymore,
obviously.Copy !req
663. I'll be moving
into the house.Copy !req
664. So, if you could just get
your stuff out of thereCopy !req
665. by this weekend,
I think that would be good.Copy !req
666. I stay there only during weekCopy !req
667. when my fiancé has
his children with him.Copy !req
668. Tony says I can
continue situationCopy !req
669. till Bill and me
find house.Copy !req
670. See, Tony should have
consulted me first.Copy !req
671. I'm gonna be living
at 55 BenedekCopy !req
672. while we deal
with the estate.Copy !req
673. Speaking of which,Copy !req
674. my mom had this kind of
extensive record collection.Copy !req
675. Caruso, Robert Merrill,Copy !req
676. shitload of Broadway shows.Copy !req
677. Many of them
were in mint condition.Copy !req
678. Do you know where they are?Copy !req
679. She gave to me those records.Copy !req
680. What?Copy !req
681. She know I like American
show tunes, so she give to me.Copy !req
682. I didn't ask her.Copy !req
683. But those are
my mother's records,Copy !req
684. and I feel very close to them.Copy !req
685. I don't want make a trouble,
but Miss Janice,Copy !req
686. I feel I have to respect
her wishes.Copy !req
687. Oh, come on.Copy !req
688. This is just about you bogarting
those discs for your ass.Copy !req
689. Now, they're worth a fortune
to the right collector.Copy !req
690. I will not answer such here.Copy !req
691. I want the entire discographyCopy !req
692. back at the house
by this weekend.Copy !req
693. Mrs. S.Copy !req
694. How are you?Copy !req
695. Sit down.Copy !req
696. How's your mother?Copy !req
697. You call her every day.Copy !req
698. Mom passed away.Copy !req
699. Really?Copy !req
700. When?Copy !req
701. About six months ago.Copy !req
702. Please, give her my regards.Copy !req
703. Is she still on
that crazy diet?Copy !req
704. I brought you something.Copy !req
705. From my restaurant.Copy !req
706. I don't know
if you remember Vesuvio?Copy !req
707. Mrs. S.Copy !req
708. Oh, what's the matter?Copy !req
709. After what my son did to you,Copy !req
710. oh, how can I look you
in the face?Copy !req
711. What did he do now?Copy !req
712. You don't blame him
for setting the fire?Copy !req
713. Artie, what are you doing?Copy !req
714. Come on,
we have people arriving.Copy !req
715. Let's go.Copy !req
716. Thank you so much.Copy !req
717. - Thank you.
- I'm so sorry.Copy !req
718. Hey, how are you?Copy !req
719. Look at her.Copy !req
720. She's already
becoming a robot,
like the rest of us.Copy !req
721. I'm so sorry
about your grandma.Copy !req
722. Well, at least
she didn't suffer.Copy !req
723. All her innocence is gone.Copy !req
724. Comes to that point
in the serviceCopy !req
725. where the rabbi's supposed
to extol the virtues
of the deceased.Copy !req
726. The rabbi says, "Alas, I did
not know this man, I'm new here.Copy !req
727. You all knew him, you say
something good about him."Copy !req
728. Dead silence.Copy !req
729. Goes on for about a minute,
two minutes.Copy !req
730. Finally, a voice from the back:Copy !req
731. "His brother was worse."Copy !req
732. I'm walking out
with the provolone.Copy !req
733. And I think he thinks
I smell like that.Copy !req
734. This Survivor show,Copy !req
735. somebody should
find the winner,Copy !req
736. stick a pistol
in the face, and say,Copy !req
737. "You not gonna survive thisCopy !req
738. unless you give me 25% of that
fucking million dollars."Copy !req
739. That's not bad.Copy !req
740. We could find out
where they live.Copy !req
741. "See how good you survive
this, pezzo di merda."Copy !req
742. Everyone, please,
may I have your attention?Copy !req
743. At this time, we would
like to ask you allCopy !req
744. to join us in the great room.Copy !req
745. Form a circle, sit anywhere.
The floor, whatever.Copy !req
746. Get comfortable,
so that we can all be togetherCopy !req
747. and share a remembrance
or a feelingCopy !req
748. about the woman who has
brought us all here today.Copy !req
749. Goddamn it.Copy !req
750. Please, everyone join us.Copy !req
751. Paulie Gualtieri,
join us, please?Copy !req
752. Thank you.Copy !req
753. What the fuck
did I say, hmm?Copy !req
754. If you'd rather, I can invite
them all back to her place.Copy !req
755. Janice, what are you doing?Copy !req
756. Very good.Copy !req
757. We could all take a break
from eating for five minutes.Copy !req
758. It won't kill us.Copy !req
759. Most of you will
probably rememberCopy !req
760. that this was her
favorite song.Copy !req
761. I thought it might
help us get rolling.Copy !req
762. Herman? Rabkin?Copy !req
763. You two went back,
almost to the pyramids.Copy !req
764. I...Copy !req
765. I guess what struck me
most was...Copy !req
766. she didn't mince words.Copy !req
767. Between brain and mouth,
there was no interlocutor.Copy !req
768. Anthony Jr.Copy !req
769. I don't know what to say.Copy !req
770. Come on.Copy !req
771. Lay off him, Janice.
Move on.Copy !req
772. She was my best friend.Copy !req
773. If anybody died
or was in the hospital,Copy !req
774. I could be sure I'd get a call
from Lee letting me know.Copy !req
775. Thank you, Fanny.Copy !req
776. Thank you.Copy !req
777. Okay.Copy !req
778. What's good for the goose...Copy !req
779. Well, most of you
will probably rememberCopy !req
780. that I have an extraordinary
visual sense.Copy !req
781. When I was a child,Copy !req
782. my mother didn't let me rest
on those laurels.Copy !req
783. She didn't flatter me.Copy !req
784. She believed that wild flowers
blossomed best among the rocks.Copy !req
785. With little water.Copy !req
786. But she was tough.Copy !req
787. But she was right.Copy !req
788. And she's the reason
I make videos today.Copy !req
789. Tony?Copy !req
790. Maybe you'd like
to tell themCopy !req
791. how Ma saved all your
childhood schoolworkCopy !req
792. and varsity letters,Copy !req
793. and none of mine
or Barbara's?Copy !req
794. You just did.Copy !req
795. Wrap it up, Janice.Copy !req
796. I hear she didn't suffer.Copy !req
797. For that,
we can be grateful.Copy !req
798. Thank you.Copy !req
799. They say...Copy !req
800. there's no two people
on earth exactly the same.Copy !req
801. No two faces.Copy !req
802. No two sets
of fingerprints.Copy !req
803. But do they know that
for sure?Copy !req
804. 'Cause they would have
to get everybody togetherCopy !req
805. in one huge space.Copy !req
806. And obviously, that's not
possible, even with computers.Copy !req
807. Not only that,Copy !req
808. they'd have to get
all the people who ever lived,Copy !req
809. not just the ones now.Copy !req
810. So they got no proof.Copy !req
811. They got nothing.Copy !req
812. Hey.Copy !req
813. - So, Ton', she's dead.
- What?Copy !req
814. I guess our little secret...Copy !req
815. dies with her.Copy !req
816. Hey, pick that up!Copy !req
817. What am I doing out here?Copy !req
818. Everybody's in there
telling stories of her.Copy !req
819. I got a beaut.Copy !req
820. Artie.Copy !req
821. Artie!Copy !req
822. Artie, don't talk about that.Copy !req
823. Mrs. Soprano may have passed,Copy !req
824. but who's to say there
isn't another Mrs. SopranoCopy !req
825. just like her,
or will be?Copy !req
826. Maybe not with the same
fears and paranoia,Copy !req
827. but the same.Copy !req
828. What I'm saying is...Copy !req
829. Thank you, Chris.Copy !req
830. Thank you.Copy !req
831. Um...Copy !req
832. This is such a crock of shit.Copy !req
833. - Carmela.
- I'm sitting hereCopy !req
834. thinking I should
protect my childrenCopy !req
835. from the truth about their
grandmother on the one hand.Copy !req
836. On the other,
I'm saying to myself,Copy !req
837. "What kind of example
am I setting?"Copy !req
838. Evading and smiling,Copy !req
839. passing out cheese puffsCopy !req
840. over a woman that we all know
was terribly dysfunctional.Copy !req
841. Who spread no cheer at all.Copy !req
842. Carmela, be quiet.Copy !req
843. This is my house!Copy !req
844. - I'm leaving.
- Let her talk, goddamn it.Copy !req
845. - Sit down, Hugh!
- No, I'll speak if I want!Copy !req
846. Goddamn it, who are you,
Minister of Propaganda?Copy !req
847. We suffered for years
under the yoke of that woman.Copy !req
848. Years!Copy !req
849. She estranged us
from our own daughter.Copy !req
850. Ruined I don't know how many
goddamn Christmases.Copy !req
851. I don't want to even
begin to count.Copy !req
852. - Hugh.
- No, don't hand me that!Copy !req
853. Bullshit!Copy !req
854. You wanted it,
you got it.Copy !req
855. Hear, hear.Copy !req
856. From beyond the grave even.Copy !req
857. This is a woman
who didn't want a funeral.Copy !req
858. You all, her children,
you ignored her wishes.Copy !req
859. Only after she's dead,
by the way.Copy !req
860. She didn't want a funeral.Copy !req
861. She didn't want
a remembrance of any kind.Copy !req
862. Why?Copy !req
863. She didn't think
anybody would come.Copy !req
864. She wouldn't write down her
memories for her grandchildren,Copy !req
865. 'cause she figured nobody
loved her enough to read them.Copy !req
866. She knew there was a problem.Copy !req
867. Um, there's, uh,
desserts in the dining room,Copy !req
868. if anybody wants some.Copy !req
869. Yes...Copy !req
870. and they're all
from Vesuvio.Copy !req
871. Our new pastry chef,
Bobby Vasquez.Copy !req
872. Thanks.Copy !req
873. Mike's here.Copy !req
874. He's come to see you.Copy !req
875. You must like Mike
a lot better than me.Copy !req
876. No, no, Tommy boy.
You're my baby.Copy !req
877. You're going to get
well and strong.Copy !req
878. All of us.
Together again.Copy !req
879. Oh.Copy !req
880. I'm almost glad this happened.Copy !req
881. Yeah?Copy !req
882. This is Mike.Copy !req
883. When?Copy !req
884. You were?Copy !req
885. Fine.Copy !req
886. Ma, they're bringing
Tom home.Copy !req
887. They are? When?Copy !req
888. Right now. He's on his way.Copy !req
889. Oh, it's wonderful.Copy !req
890. I'll get his room ready.Copy !req
891. I knew my baby would come home.Copy !req
892. Oh...Copy !req