1. You got the crescent wrench?Copy !req
2. Fucking thing, nobody
ever puts it back-Copy !req
3. oh, my God.Copy !req
4. Oh, my God!Copy !req
5. Tony!Copy !req
6. Tony!Copy !req
7. Oh, my God, Tony, are you alright?Copy !req
8. Uncle Ben.Copy !req
9. What happened?Copy !req
10. Hey.Copy !req
11. What are you doing here?Copy !req
12. We had to drive out hereCopy !req
13. 'cause some schmuck st
the vcr from the common room.Copy !req
14. "Public Enemy," this is a great movie.Copy !req
15. For a class. .. just finished.Copy !req
16. We're out of here.Copy !req
17. 40 grand a year to watch old movies?Copy !req
18. Who's "we"?Copy !req
19. Just a friend from class, okay?Copy !req
20. Your mom likes lavender.Copy !req
21. I'll be ready to bolt in a sec.Copy !req
22. Mr. Soprano?Copy !req
23. Yeah.Copy !req
24. Hey, I'm Noah Tannenbaum.Copy !req
25. How ya doin'?Copy !req
26. I appreciate you letting us screen here.Copy !req
27. Those Bose direct reflectors
make all the difference.Copy !req
28. You a film buff?Copy !req
29. People say Hawks invented
the genre with "scarface,"Copy !req
30. but Cagney was modernity.Copy !req
31. Muni was not, so I give
the nod to William Wellman.Copy !req
32. Noah, I'm just gonna grab
the "Barenaked Ladies" cd,Copy !req
33. and then, let's hit the road.Copy !req
34. Last year this course is being offered.Copy !req
35. "Images of hypercapitalist
self-advancementCopy !req
36. in the era of the studio system."Copy !req
37. So, you guys...Copy !req
38. you and Meadow...Copy !req
39. are you...?Copy !req
40. Little early to say.Copy !req
41. What's your background, Noel?Copy !req
42. West L. A.Copy !req
43. What I mean
is—Copy !req
44. my family's in the business.Copy !req
45. I mean show business, I don't
know why they call it "the business."Copy !req
46. Those old "Tarzan" movies?Copy !req
47. My dad's an entertainment lawyer.Copy !req
48. What I mean is, we're Italian.Copy !req
49. My dad is Jewish and my mother's
family is African-American.Copy !req
50. "Tannenbaum", right.Copy !req
51. But on your application to Columbia,Copy !req
52. you didn't check Jewish, did you?Copy !req
53. No, they can't ask about
religious affiliation.Copy !req
54. Oh, right, right, of course.Copy !req
55. What'd you check?Copy !req
56. African-American.Copy !req
57. So, we do understand each other here?Copy !req
58. You're a ditsoon.Copy !req
59. Excuse me?Copy !req
60. Uh, charcoal briquette, a mulignan.Copy !req
61. What's your problem?Copy !req
62. I think you know what my problem is.Copy !req
63. You see, your little friend up there.Copy !req
64. She didn't do you any favors
bringing you into this house.Copy !req
65. I don't know what the
fuck she was thinking.Copy !req
66. We'll get to that later.Copy !req
67. See, I got business
associates who are black.Copy !req
68. And they don't want my
son with their daughtersCopy !req
69. and I don't want their sons with mine.Copy !req
70. Fuck you!Copy !req
71. See, that's the kind of thing
I'm hoping to avoid.Copy !req
72. So, when my little girl
comes down the stairs,Copy !req
73. you're gonna say how
nice it was to meet me.Copy !req
74. Then you're gonna go
drop her off at schoolCopy !req
75. and you're gonna say goodbye.Copy !req
76. C'mon, if you want to
see the Garden State.Copy !req
77. We're gonna drop by Hunter's,
I want her to meet Noah.Copy !req
78. Then we'll be back
to pick up my laundry.Copy !req
79. Later, dad.Copy !req
80. I don't got time for
these fucking attacks.Copy !req
81. You were so good for months.Copy !req
82. If you didn't instigate
things—Copy !req
83. I instigate?Copy !req
84. He's just a new friend, Tony.Copy !req
85. You didn't see the way they
were looking at each other.Copy !req
86. You want her to be with
him, just keep it up.Copy !req
87. Keep playing the race card,Copy !req
88. you're gonna drive her
right into his arms.Copy !req
89. Not if I cut off those fucking arms.Copy !req
90. Stop it!Copy !req
91. Let me deal with it,Copy !req
92. if anybody's gonna deal with it.Copy !req
93. Make things worse with your bullshit,Copy !req
94. I'm gonna be really pissed.Copy !req
95. I should call Cusamano.Copy !req
96. You might need stitches.Copy !req
97. Yeah, if one of my sistersCopy !req
98. ever brought home a fuckin' butterhead,Copy !req
99. you know what my old man would do?Copy !req
100. Hey, ma.Copy !req
101. Look who calls.Copy !req
102. Actually, I'm standing
here in front of you.Copy !req
103. Ah.Copy !req
104. Hey.Copy !req
105. So, how's it going?Copy !req
106. What do you care?Copy !req
107. Out of sight, out of mind.Copy !req
108. Brought you some books on tape.Copy !req
109. Since you say you can't
concentrate to read.Copy !req
110. I wish the Lord would take me now.Copy !req
111. Well, in the meantime...Copy !req
112. brought you "The Horse Whisperer."Copy !req
113. Why, what's wrong, tell me?Copy !req
114. What, are you gonna freak outCopy !req
115. every time I try to do
something nice for you?Copy !req
116. Jesus.Copy !req
117. What's this?Copy !req
118. She's going to finish baby
journals from long time ago.Copy !req
119. My idea.Copy !req
120. Oh, yeah, I remember these.Copy !req
121. Carmela gave you one of these
for each of the kidsCopy !req
122. when they were born.Copy !req
123. What the fuck?Copy !req
124. Look at this.Copy !req
125. Supposed to fill these out,
20 years, fat fuckin' nothing.Copy !req
126. Now, look here, I don't
like that kind of talk.Copy !req
127. Now, just stop it, it upsets me.Copy !req
128. Carmela's ma returned
these books to the kidsCopy !req
129. filled with memories.Copy !req
130. You can't write stuff down from
your life for your grandkids?Copy !req
131. It's none of anybody's business.Copy !req
132. Yeah, you're too busy
feeling sorry for yourself.Copy !req
133. She will do it.Copy !req
134. It's good for her, she realizes that.Copy !req
135. Keep her mind active.Copy !req
136. Why do anything if there's
not something in it for her?Copy !req
137. Alright, listen up.Copy !req
138. I want you to concentrate,
I know it's difficult.Copy !req
139. Remember the airline tickets?Copy !req
140. The tickets were stolen.Copy !req
141. Did you say that or
did the feds say that?Copy !req
142. What did you tell them
when you were in the lockup?Copy !req
143. What? What did I do?Copy !req
144. This is important.Copy !req
145. They're trying to build
a RICO case against me.Copy !req
146. What are you gonna say if they
put you on the witness stand?Copy !req
147. 'Cause the only reason they let you goCopy !req
148. is to get your cooperation.Copy !req
149. Don't wave your hanky at me.Copy !req
150. What are you gonna say from now on?Copy !req
151. I never stated those tickets
were stolen, capisce?Copy !req
152. Now, Barbara will testify
I didn't say it,Copy !req
153. but you gotta back her up.Copy !req
154. I suppose I should've just
kept my mouth shut...Copy !req
155. like a mute.Copy !req
156. In the future, any kind
of deal they try to make,Copy !req
157. you keep your mouth shut.Copy !req
158. You know, for a year,
I didn't speak to you.Copy !req
159. Maybe I should've kept it that way.Copy !req
160. Fuck it, do what you want.Copy !req
161. Did you say something to Noah?Copy !req
162. If you're smart, you'll keep
walking down those stairs.Copy !req
163. You did, what did you say?Copy !req
164. He was all quiet at hunter's,
she thinks he's a snob.Copy !req
165. Now he's just sitting out in the car!Copy !req
166. What, you didn't hear me?Copy !req
167. Maybe if I say it in swahili!Copy !req
168. Meadow, can you come up here please?Copy !req
169. What?Copy !req
170. I need your help with this clasp.Copy !req
171. That ain't our beer,
where'd you get this?Copy !req
172. Well, it's good, ain't it?Copy !req
173. Is my laundry done?Copy !req
174. You can sell ours for the same price.Copy !req
175. I can't help it if I
have to buy from them.Copy !req
176. They tell me the same thing that you do.Copy !req
177. Ah, you're yella.Copy !req
178. Ah, please, you ain't
gonna slug me, are ya?Copy !req
179. What?Copy !req
180. Uh, your mother died.Copy !req
181. You're kidding?Copy !req
182. I mean...Copy !req
183. Jesus Christ.Copy !req
184. Svetlana just called.Copy !req
185. She said that...Copy !req
186. after dinner, your mother went
upstairs to get ready for bed.Copy !req
187. When Svetlana came up,Copy !req
188. your mother was under
the covers in her nightgown.Copy !req
189. Svetlana thought she was asleep.Copy !req
190. Svetlana's waiting for us over there.Copy !req
191. She's dead.Copy !req
192. I'm sorry, dad...Copy !req
193. that your mom died.Copy !req
194. Me too.Copy !req
195. Your grandmother loved you.Copy !req
196. She loved both you two...Copy !req
197. very much.Copy !req
198. They just removed.Copy !req
199. We saw.Copy !req
200. She was in no pain, Tony.Copy !req
201. What about the cause
of death, did they say?Copy !req
202. Massive stroke.Copy !req
203. Yeah.Copy !req
204. So...Copy !req
205. she will not be finishing journal.Copy !req
206. I break promise to you, Tony.Copy !req
207. Does not often happen with me,Copy !req
208. that these old ones
get away with something.Copy !req
209. Journal?Copy !req
210. Nothing.Copy !req
211. Those "granny remembers"
books you bought herCopy !req
212. when the kids were born.Copy !req
213. She never touched them.Copy !req
214. What's your beef?Copy !req
215. Asshole Robert Frost.Copy !req
216. How am I supposed to
know what this means?Copy !req
217. Like I even care.Copy !req
218. "Stopping by woods on a snowy evening."Copy !req
219. Oh, my God, I'm so glad I'm
not in high school anymore.Copy !req
220. You read this?Copy !req
221. Sure.Copy !req
222. What does it mean?Copy !req
223. I have to turn in a
close-read by tomorrow.Copy !req
224. What does it mean?Copy !req
225. "The woods are lovely dark and deep,Copy !req
226. but I have promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep."Copy !req
227. Okay, look.Copy !req
228. Where is he?Copy !req
229. He's in a field on a horse.Copy !req
230. He's not on the horse.Copy !req
231. The horse has bells.Copy !req
232. So?Copy !req
233. What kind of horse has bells?Copy !req
234. I don't know!Copy !req
235. Just give me the fucking
answer so I can write this?Copy !req
236. A horse that's pulling a sleigh.Copy !req
237. Oh...Copy !req
238. so, this is a Thanksgiving poem...Copy !req
239. like, "over the river
and through the woodsCopy !req
240. to grandmother's house we go."Copy !req
241. No, it's not a Thanksgiving poem.Copy !req
242. What's covering the field?Copy !req
243. Snow.Copy !req
244. Yay!Copy !req
245. And what does snow symbolize?Copy !req
246. Christmas?Copy !req
247. Hello?Copy !req
248. Cold...Copy !req
249. endless white, endless nothing...Copy !req
250. I don't know!Copy !req
251. Death.Copy !req
252. I thought black was death.Copy !req
253. "He has miles to go before he sleeps."Copy !req
254. So, he must be far away from his house.Copy !req
255. The sleep of death.Copy !req
256. The big sleep.Copy !req
257. He's talking about his own death,Copy !req
258. which is yet to come, but will come.Copy !req
259. That's fucked up.Copy !req
260. Gottago.Copy !req
261. I thought black was death.Copy !req
262. White too.Copy !req
263. I'm coming, I'm coming!Copy !req
264. Grandma?Copy !req
265. I just can't believe it.Copy !req
266. What are you gonna do?Copy !req
267. I'll call Janice.Copy !req
268. I'll meet you at Cozzerelli's...Copy !req
269. around noon.Copy !req
270. I already called.Copy !req
271. Ma didn't want any
kind of service, Tony.Copy !req
272. No remembrance at all.Copy !req
273. So, we'll pick out a simple
urn or whatever.Copy !req
274. I'll see you there.Copy !req
275. Proshai livushka.Copy !req
276. Which means what?Copy !req
277. Goodbye, little Livia.Copy !req
278. He's been in this situation
a million timesCopy !req
279. and has upped the ante when needed.Copy !req
280. Every time.Copy !req
281. Let's see what happens
tonight, there he is,Copy !req
282. he's pulling that in.Copy !req
283. He's got the...Copy !req
284. Ton'.Copy !req
285. I'm sorry.Copy !req
286. We all know...Copy !req
287. how much you loved her.Copy !req
288. Thanks.Copy !req
289. I could imagine how you feel.Copy !req
290. Yeah, well...Copy !req
291. what are you gonna do?Copy !req
292. I'm sorry, T.Copy !req
293. What are you gonna do, you know?Copy !req
294. At least she didn't suffer.Copy !req
295. Thank go that's right. D.Copy !req
296. My god.Copy !req
297. What next, huh?Copy !req
298. How is Tony taking it?Copy !req
299. Oh, what the fuck!Copy !req
300. Goddamn fucking bitch!Copy !req
301. She was so awful.Copy !req
302. What do I tell my kids
when their own auntCopy !req
303. won't even come to a funeral?Copy !req
304. Take it easy, I'll handle it.Copy !req
305. And then he goes, "you gotta
work on Columbus Day weekend."Copy !req
306. Eat your eggs, baby.Copy !req
307. Ace garage.Copy !req
308. You're not coming to your own
mother's fucking funeral?Copy !req
309. May I speak?Copy !req
310. You got your sister sobbing!Copy !req
311. May I speak?Copy !req
312. Go the fuck ahead!Copy !req
313. You may recall, Tony, that I
have very good and valid reasonsCopy !req
314. why I should not present myself
in the State of New Jersey.Copy !req
315. Oh, Jesus, that case is
colder than your tit.Copy !req
316. It'd do you good to
show up here at this point.Copy !req
317. Nothing to hide.Copy !req
318. I don't do well at funerals, Tony.Copy !req
319. Who does?Copy !req
320. You just don't want to get your assCopy !req
321. out of whatever chair it's in.Copy !req
322. I'm gonna hang the fuck up!Copy !req
323. She didn't even want a funeral, Janice,Copy !req
324. but can't you come sit with your familyCopy !req
325. during this stressful time?Copy !req
326. She was your mother.Copy !req
327. You can just get on a plane
before us working folk.Copy !req
328. Oh, listen to this,
Woody Guthrie over here.Copy !req
329. You know, they got special
rates for family death.Copy !req
330. Yeah, half of full fare coach,Copy !req
331. which at this late dateCopy !req
332. comes to $1,100.Copy !req
333. Fully researched and everything, huh?Copy !req
334. Alright, fuck it, I'll pay it.Copy !req
335. Can I bring my fiancee?Copy !req
336. Fuck that!Copy !req
337. One seat, coach.Copy !req
338. And if you don't show up,
let me tell you right now,Copy !req
339. don't come breezing in hereCopy !req
340. when it comes time
to carve up the estate.Copy !req
341. I know you think ma's got
money buried in the house.Copy !req
342. What are you telling people
about that other thing?Copy !req
343. Richie?Copy !req
344. He vanished into the
witness protection program.Copy !req
345. It's the truth, right, Janice?Copy !req
346. Cozzerelli's funeral home...Copy !req
347. noon tomorrow.Copy !req
348. Does Harper know his grandmother died?Copy !req
349. Him I'll pay for.Copy !req
350. Bring him down from Montreal.Copy !req
351. He is your son.Copy !req
352. Hal is on the pavers, Tony, he's um...Copy !req
353. a street person.Copy !req
354. I'm sorry, I didn't know.Copy !req
355. See, you're not the
only one with problems.Copy !req
356. Be there tomorrow.Copy !req
357. Ain't you got a drink in the house?Copy !req
358. I wish you was a wishing well...Copy !req
359. then I could tie a bucket
to you and sink you.Copy !req
360. Maybe you found someone you like better.Copy !req
361. Oh, Tommy, let me make you a cup of tea.Copy !req
362. Listen, ma, I came over
to give you something.Copy !req
363. Here, take this.Copy !req
364. And when you need anymore,
just say so, I'm making plenty.Copy !req
365. We don't want your money,
I'm taking care of ma.Copy !req
366. On two bits a week?Copy !req
367. Ma don't go to night clubs
and she don't drink champagne.Copy !req
368. How do you know?Copy !req
369. I used to dance when I was a girl.Copy !req
370. Money don't mean nothing to me.Copy !req
371. No, I guess not.Copy !req
372. But with no heart and no
brains, that's all you've got.Copy !req
373. You'll need it.Copy !req
374. Tommy, Tommy!Copy !req
375. Tommy!Copy !req
376. His mother died last night.Copy !req
377. No shit.Copy !req
378. Ton', I'm so sorry to hear.Copy !req
379. What are you gonna do?Copy !req
380. I know how you feel.Copy !req
381. We lost mom last year.Copy !req
382. You remember?Copy !req
383. At least she didn't suffer.Copy !req
384. Ralphie, I need to talk to you...Copy !req
385. Albert...Copy !req
386. you too.Copy !req
387. Vito, have a sfogliatelle.Copy !req
388. Carmela, she's gone.Copy !req
389. C'mon.Copy !req
390. Alright, who gave the order
to torch one of Albert's trucks?Copy !req
391. One of the trucks.Copy !req
392. Be quiet, Albert.Copy !req
393. Talk to him, he lit up
two of my dumpsters.Copy !req
394. What's the matter with you?Copy !req
395. Both of you.Copy !req
396. We're in the newspapers
every fucking week with this shit.Copy !req
397. My crew...Copy !req
398. is in line for the raritan
township contract, okay?Copy !req
399. This guy over there keeps
whispering to Albert—Copy !req
400. your what?Copy !req
401. What did you say? Whose crew?Copy !req
402. You're the boss, you get to put in
anybod y you want over the crew.Copy !req
403. You're a captain, ralphie,
when I say you're a captain.Copy !req
404. And I'm gonna turn u p my hearing
aid so I don't miss it.Copy !req
405. Oh, you're gonna get cute with me?Copy !req
406. With my mother lying dead?Copy !req
407. Raritan township, the
recycling manage r over there, joe...Copy !req
408. zachary.Copy !req
409. He knows who's in line
for that contract.Copy !req
410. But he keeps playing
footsie with Albert.Copy !req
411. The next minute, he's threatening
to go to the EPA, bust us all.Copy !req
412. He said that?Copy !req
413. Alright, fix it.Copy !req
414. I'll meet you by the trophy case.Copy !req
415. How could we possibly get busted?Copy !req
416. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
417. The boys' room behind the stage?Copy !req
418. They never check in there.Copy !req
419. Mr. Soprano, Janice, Barb, please.Copy !req
420. Accept my condolences.Copy !req
421. I'll use all my powers, all my skills.Copy !req
422. Don't go crazy, I mean, you know.Copy !req
423. Then we're not envisioning
any visitation hours for mom?Copy !req
424. Well, you see, she didn't want
any service of any kind.Copy !req
425. I find that hard to accept.Copy !req
426. Is...Copy !req
427. is she still down at
the hospital morgue?Copy !req
428. We brought mom here this morning.Copy !req
429. She's downstairs.Copy !req
430. There's gonna be a priest
or something, though, right?Copy !req
431. Yeah, sure, a priest, I guess.Copy !req
432. What would that be?Copy !req
433. You're not having a funeral mass?Copy !req
434. And I'm not trying to sell here.Copy !req
435. Well, she was Catholic,
but not religious.Copy !req
436. I thought maybe we'd have a shindigCopy !req
437. at the house, you know...Copy !req
438. after, so the grandkids could, you know.Copy !req
439. I don't know.Copy !req
440. I do know what mom's wishes were,Copy !req
441. but not to have a wake or a funeral?Copy !req
442. It makes us look like
we're unloving children,Copy !req
443. not to mention cheapskates.Copy !req
444. Who gives a shit what it looks like?Copy !req
445. The woman expressed her wishes.Copy !req
446. I wish to honor my mother.Copy !req
447. There's a lot of things
I could say right nowCopy !req
448. that I'm not gonna say!Copy !req
449. What, you think we should
do something now?Copy !req
450. When she was young, she used
to picture her funeral.Copy !req
451. Alright, fine, you want to
do something? Let's just do it.Copy !req
452. Let's just stop talking about it.Copy !req
453. Cozzerelli, you arrange everything.Copy !req
454. The wake, the funeral,
you send me the bill.Copy !req
455. I want you to know, Tony,
that this all won't fall on you.Copy !req
456. I'll do a painting for
the overleaf of the programCopy !req
457. at the service.Copy !req
458. Motifs from the Mexican day of the dead.Copy !req
459. Oh, one thing I'd like
to suggest very stronglyCopy !req
460. is at the house, everyone gathersCopy !req
461. and each one can voice a remembranceCopy !req
462. or a feeling about mom.Copy !req
463. No, no, I don't want any of
that California bullshit.Copy !req
464. People can drink, they
can eat some gorgonzola,Copy !req
465. they want to yak about ma,
that's their business.Copy !req
466. No, "I'm sorry",Copy !req
467. "my condolences", nothing.Copy !req
468. Actually, that's good.Copy !req
469. It's a relief you're not saying nothing,Copy !req
470. you want to know the truth.Copy !req
471. Everybody else, all bullshit.Copy !req
472. Here's the thing.Copy !req
473. I'm glad she's dead.Copy !req
474. Not just glad, I wished she'd die.Copy !req
475. Wished.Copy !req
476. I had this court case coming up.Copy !req
477. She might have testified
against me, so...Copy !req
478. when I heard she was dead,
relief flooded into my veins.Copy !req
479. How do you feel about
the fact that your own motherCopy !req
480. would have testified against you?Copy !req
481. Oh, c'mon, will you listen to yourself?Copy !req
482. I mean, is that right,Copy !req
483. wishing her dead?Copy !req
484. Is that being a good son?Copy !req
485. A good son?Copy !req
486. Yeah, a good son.Copy !req
487. I mean, bad sons...Copy !req
488. bad sons, what?Copy !req
489. They should fucking die.Copy !req
490. That's a fucking miserab'
disgusting thing to be,Copy !req
491. a bad son.Copy !req
492. I mean, your kid up at bard.Copy !req
493. He better be a good son, right?Copy !req
494. You know, you're right.Copy !req
495. Why the fuck should I be a good sonCopy !req
496. to that fucking demented, old bat?Copy !req
497. The fucking selfish miserable cunt?Copy !req
498. She ruined my father's life.Copy !req
499. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
500. But he wasn't her son.Copy !req
501. What did she do to you?Copy !req
502. C'mon, that's a matter of
public record in here.Copy !req
503. We both know.Copy !req
504. You don't like to say it, do you?Copy !req
505. Who knows if she even
knew what she was doing.Copy !req
506. You're letting her off.Copy !req
507. My uncle denies it, you know,Copy !req
508. that she took part.Copy !req
509. Your uncle loves you.Copy !req
510. I never said he didn't!Copy !req
511. Grown children often secretly
wish for an aged parent to dieCopy !req
512. and it's not necessary
for the parent to beCopy !req
513. a witness for the prosecution.Copy !req
514. It's a taboo thought, but common.Copy !req
515. Particularly if the parent
has lost all capacityCopy !req
516. for joy at being alive.Copy !req
517. So, we're probably done here, right?Copy !req
518. She's dead.Copy !req
519. What's happening?Copy !req
520. Tony Soprano's mother's wake is tonight.Copy !req
521. Want me to wear a wire?Copy !req
522. Why not, you need batteries?Copy !req
523. Let's go right over
here to office depot.Copy !req
524. Janice.Copy !req
525. I'm downstairs!Copy !req
526. Hey.Copy !req
527. Hey.Copy !req
528. Mom would want a closed
casket, don't you agree?Copy !req
529. Definitely.Copy !req
530. They usually put a
picture on the casket,Copy !req
531. what do you think?Copy !req
532. Wow, look at that.Copy !req
533. She's smiling.Copy !req
534. She looks...Copy !req
535. normal.Copy !req
536. Maybe it was us kids who turned
her into a freakin' sourpuss.Copy !req
537. Maybe it was one of us.Copy !req
538. Oh, get— get
the fuck—Copy !req
539. get off!Copy !req
540. Alright, alright!Copy !req
541. You know, maybe you're right.Copy !req
542. My shrink says that all women
are not cut out to be mothers.Copy !req
543. Is that a slam at me?Copy !req
544. No.Copy !req
545. Look, if my father was in the
freakin' "Cirque de Soleil",Copy !req
546. maybe I would've
turned out like har—Copy !req
547. Hal.Copy !req
548. This is fucking weird.Copy !req
549. What?Copy !req
550. None of my childhood
schoolwork or artworkCopy !req
551. or anything, for that matter
is here anymore, nor Barb's.Copy !req
552. Get the fuck out of here.Copy !req
553. "Anthony Soprano.Copy !req
554. 7th grade, Mr. Martino."Copy !req
555. I had him.Copy !req
556. "Why "fear strikes out", by Jim PiersallCopy !req
557. is a good book."Copy !req
558. Take a look.Copy !req
559. She only saved yours.Copy !req
560. What are you talking about?Copy !req
561. Here's Barbara's communion certificate.Copy !req
562. Here's her baby shoe.Copy !req
563. Yeah, that's it.Copy !req
564. Nothing of mine.Copy !req
565. Everybody agreed that I hadCopy !req
566. extraordinary visualization skills.Copy !req
567. Those pencil drawings I did of grandpa.Copy !req
568. They're good.Copy !req
569. Ton', sorry.Copy !req
570. Tony, I'm sorry.Copy !req
571. He's disrespectful.Copy !req
572. Thanks for coming.Copy !req
573. Fucking motherfucking
pain in the fucking ass!Copy !req
574. Could we not, huh?Copy !req
575. With the tantrums?Copy !req
576. For this shit, I miss the
Jet's first home game!Copy !req
577. Are they sayin' when your
making ceremony might happenCopy !req
578. now with this delay?Copy !req
579. Stop asking fucking questions!Copy !req
580. Even if I knew, I couldn't tell you.Copy !req
581. Hit me, hit me.Copy !req
582. Every little bit helps.Copy !req
583. Anything to get through these events.Copy !req
584. Hey.Copy !req
585. What a fuckin' blow.Copy !req
586. Not you too.Copy !req
587. I'm serious.Copy !req
588. What are you...Copy !req
589. breaking the terms of your house arrest?Copy !req
590. I got a dispensation from the marshals.Copy !req
591. She's my sister-in-law,
for chrissake.Copy !req
592. My dad's very ill too.Copy !req
593. Thanks.Copy !req
594. Thanks for coming.Copy !req
595. Tony,Copy !req
596. allow me to express my condolencesCopy !req
597. and those of the Eighth Ward.Copy !req
598. Thank you, assemblyman.Copy !req
599. I met your mom once or twice.Copy !req
600. That was...Copy !req
601. a proud Newarker.Copy !req
602. Oh, hey, hey.Copy !req
603. My sympathies, Tony.Copy !req
604. We talked about this day, did we not?Copy !req
605. You know State Assemblyman
Zellman, right?Copy !req
606. From the Eighth Ward?Copy !req
607. Do I know this guy?Copy !req
608. You bet.Copy !req
609. Yes, we go way back.Copy !req
610. How are you, Assemblyman?Copy !req
611. Reverend.Copy !req
612. Uncle Jun', you alright?Copy !req
613. They're droppin' like fucking flies.Copy !req
614. It's all that charcoal-broiled
meat you people ate.Copy !req
615. Nobody told us till the'80s.Copy !req
616. I'm kidding you, you old fuck.Copy !req
617. What's the matter with you?Copy !req
618. Bacala said you wanted to see me.Copy !req
619. I gotta talk to that
wife of yours first.Copy !req
620. Uncle Jun', c'mon.Copy !req
621. This is a funeral, enough
of her soigne attitude.Copy !req
622. What do you want?Copy !req
623. I'm hoping that we can
use this sad occasionCopy !req
624. to put bitterness and
sore-headed feelings aside.Copy !req
625. I'll behave how Tony wants.Copy !req
626. I don't want to add to his stress.Copy !req
627. There they are.Copy !req
628. Hi, Uncle Jun'.Copy !req
629. Hi, Uncle Jun'.Copy !req
630. How's that surfboard I gave you?Copy !req
631. Ow!Copy !req
632. Jun'...Copy !req
633. Tony's waiting.Copy !req
634. Ralphie CifarettoCopy !req
635. got word to me.Copy !req
636. So, what does he want?Copy !req
637. He wants a bump up to captain.Copy !req
638. The kid's been a top fucking earnerCopy !req
639. ever since that rat bastard
went in the program.Copy !req
640. You can't deny it.Copy !req
641. Ralphie's whipped Richie's
crew into shape over there.Copy !req
642. And three months ago by youCopy !req
643. the rat bastard was
the second fuckin' comin'.Copy !req
644. Why do you do this to me?Copy !req
645. Because I'm the boss of
this family, you forget.Copy !req
646. I forget nothing.Copy !req
647. Don't make me say things
to you we'll both regret.Copy !req
648. Go ahead, I'm fucking fed up.Copy !req
649. Hey.Copy !req
650. I'm on the street.Copy !req
651. That's the arrangement.Copy !req
652. Stay home, clip your
coupons, be a happy man.Copy !req
653. Things are good, I'll grant you that.Copy !req
654. But this economy is so robust,Copy !req
655. you get credit for shit
you had nothing to do with.Copy !req
656. Fucking chinks and
housewives are betting football.Copy !req
657. You better be finished.Copy !req
658. Joe Zachary?Copy !req
659. Yeah.Copy !req
660. Oh, boys,Copy !req
661. no fires.Copy !req
662. Tony doesn't want any fires.Copy !req
663. I ain't so tough.Copy !req
664. Well, Zach, what do you think?Copy !req
665. Can't say.Copy !req
666. Well, we'll hope for the best.Copy !req
667. Doctor...Copy !req
668. this is Tom's mother,
brother, and Miss Doyle.Copy !req
669. The Lord bless her and keep her.Copy !req
670. The Lord make his face to shine
upon her and be gracious to her.Copy !req
671. The Lord lift up his countenance
upon her and give her peace.Copy !req
672. Amen.Copy !req
673. Did you talk to her?Copy !req
674. She's sure you said something to him.Copy !req
675. He won't discuss it, he clams up.Copy !req
676. Beautiful sendoff, T.Copy !req
677. Thank you, thank you.Copy !req
678. I want to thank you for
all you've done for her.Copy !req
679. She was much work,Copy !req
680. but in the end, she defeated me.Copy !req
681. Anyway...Copy !req
682. we're not gonna be needing
your services anymore, obviously.Copy !req
683. I'll be moving into the house.Copy !req
684. So, if you could just get your stuffCopy !req
685. out of there by this weekend,Copy !req
686. I think that would be good.Copy !req
687. I stay there only during weekCopy !req
688. when my fiance has
his children with him.Copy !req
689. Tony says I can continue situationCopy !req
690. until Bill and me find house.Copy !req
691. See, Tony should have
consulted me first.Copy !req
692. I'm gonna be living at 55 BenedekCopy !req
693. while we deal with the estate.Copy !req
694. Speaking of which...Copy !req
695. my mom had this kind of
extensive record collection.Copy !req
696. Caruso, Robert Merrill,Copy !req
697. shitload of Broadway shows.Copy !req
698. Many of them were in mint condition.Copy !req
699. Do you know where they are?Copy !req
700. She gave to me those records.Copy !req
701. What?Copy !req
702. She know I like American show
tunes, so she give to me.Copy !req
703. I didn't ask her.Copy !req
704. But those are my mother's recordsCopy !req
705. and I feel very close to them.Copy !req
706. I don't want to make
trouble, but Miss Janice,Copy !req
707. I feel I have to respect her wishes.Copy !req
708. Oh, c'mon.Copy !req
709. This is just about you bogarting
those discs for your ass.Copy !req
710. Now, they're worth a fortune
to the right collector.Copy !req
711. I will not answer such here.Copy !req
712. I want the entire discographyCopy !req
713. back at the house by this weekend.Copy !req
714. Mrs. S.Copy !req
715. How are you?Copy !req
716. Sit down.Copy !req
717. How's your mother?Copy !req
718. You call her every day.Copy !req
719. Mom passed away.Copy !req
720. Really?Copy !req
721. When?Copy !req
722. About six months ago.Copy !req
723. Please give her my regards.Copy !req
724. Is she still on that crazy diet?Copy !req
725. I brought you something.Copy !req
726. Umm...Copy !req
727. from my restaurant.Copy !req
728. I don't know if you remember...Copy !req
729. Vesuvio?Copy !req
730. Mrs. S.Copy !req
731. What's the matter?Copy !req
732. After what my son did to you...Copy !req
733. how can I look you in the face?Copy !req
734. What did he do now?Copy !req
735. You don't blame him
for setting the fire?Copy !req
736. Artie, what are you doing?Copy !req
737. C'mon, we have people arriving.Copy !req
738. Let's go.Copy !req
739. Thank you so much.Copy !req
740. Thank you.Copy !req
741. Look at her.Copy !req
742. She's already becoming a
robot like the rest of us.Copy !req
743. I'm so sorry about your grandma.Copy !req
744. At least she didn't suffer.Copy !req
745. All her innocence is gone.Copy !req
746. comes to that point in the serviceCopy !req
747. where the rabbi's supposed to extolCopy !req
748. the virtues of the deceased.Copy !req
749. The rabbi says, "alas, I did not
know this man, I'm new here.Copy !req
750. You all knew him, you say
something good about him."Copy !req
751. Dead silence.Copy !req
752. Goes on for about a minute, two minutes.Copy !req
753. Finally, a voice from the back,
"his brother was worse."Copy !req
754. I'm walking out with the provolone.Copy !req
755. And I think he thinks I smell like that.Copy !req
756. This "survivor" show...Copy !req
757. somebody should find winner,
stick a pistol in the face,Copy !req
758. and say, "you not gonna survive thisCopy !req
759. unless you give me 25 percent of
that fucking million dollars."Copy !req
760. That's not bad.Copy !req
761. We could find out where they live.Copy !req
762. "See how good you survive this,Copy !req
763. you pezzo di merda."Copy !req
764. Everyone, please, may
I have your attention?Copy !req
765. At this time, we would
like to ask you allCopy !req
766. to join us in the great room.Copy !req
767. Form a circle, sit anywhere,
the floor, whatever.Copy !req
768. Get comfortable, so that
we can all be togetherCopy !req
769. and share a remembrance
or a feeling about the womanCopy !req
770. who has brought us all here today.Copy !req
771. Goddamnit.Copy !req
772. Please, everyone join us.Copy !req
773. Paulie Gualtieri, join us please?Copy !req
774. Thank you.Copy !req
775. What the fuck did I say, hmm?Copy !req
776. If you'd rather, I can
invite them all back to her place.Copy !req
777. Janice, what are you doing?Copy !req
778. Very good.Copy !req
779. We could all take a break
from eating for five minutes,Copy !req
780. it won't kill us.Copy !req
781. Most of you will probably rememberCopy !req
782. that this was her favorite song.Copy !req
783. I thought it might help us get rolling.Copy !req
784. Herman? Rabkin?Copy !req
785. You two went back,
almost to the pyramids.Copy !req
786. I...Copy !req
787. I guess what struck me most was...Copy !req
788. she didn't mince words.Copy !req
789. Between brain and mouth,
there was no interlocutor.Copy !req
790. Anthony Jr.Copy !req
791. I don't know what to say.Copy !req
792. Ah, c'mon.Copy !req
793. Lay off him, Janice, move on.Copy !req
794. She was my best friend.Copy !req
795. If anybody died or was in the hospital,Copy !req
796. I could be sure I'd get a call
from Lee letting me know.Copy !req
797. Thank you, fanny.Copy !req
798. Thank you.Copy !req
799. Okay.Copy !req
800. What's good for the goose...Copy !req
801. well, most of you will
probably remember that I haveCopy !req
802. an extraordinary visual sense.Copy !req
803. When I was a child,Copy !req
804. my mother didn't let me
rest on those laurels.Copy !req
805. She didn't flatter me.Copy !req
806. She believed that wild
flowers blossomed best...Copy !req
807. among the rocks.Copy !req
808. With little water.Copy !req
809. She was tough.Copy !req
810. But she was right.Copy !req
811. And she's the reason
I make videos today.Copy !req
812. Tony?Copy !req
813. Maybe you'd like to tell them...Copy !req
814. how ma saved all your childhood
schoolwork and varsity lettersCopy !req
815. and none of mine or Barbara's?Copy !req
816. You just did.Copy !req
817. Wrap it up, Janice.Copy !req
818. I hear she didn't suffer.Copy !req
819. For that we can be grateful.Copy !req
820. Thank you.Copy !req
821. They say there's no two people
on earth exactly the same.Copy !req
822. No two faces.Copy !req
823. No two sets of fingerprints.Copy !req
824. But do they know that for sure?Copy !req
825. 'Cause they would have to get everybodyCopy !req
826. together in one huge space.Copy !req
827. And obviously, that's not possible,Copy !req
828. even with computers.Copy !req
829. Not only that, they'd have
to get all the peopleCopy !req
830. who ever lived,Copy !req
831. not just the ones now.Copy !req
832. So, they got no proof.Copy !req
833. They got nothing.Copy !req
834. Hey.Copy !req
835. So, Ton', she's dead.Copy !req
836. What?Copy !req
837. I guess our little secret...Copy !req
838. dies with her.Copy !req
839. Hey, pick that up!Copy !req
840. What am I doing out here?Copy !req
841. Everybody's in there
telling stories of her.Copy !req
842. I got a beaut!Copy !req
843. Artie.Copy !req
844. Artie!Copy !req
845. Artie, don't talk about that!Copy !req
846. Mrs. Soprano may have passed,Copy !req
847. but who's to say there
isn't another Mrs. SopranoCopy !req
848. just like her or will be?Copy !req
849. Maybe not with the same
fears and paranoia, but...Copy !req
850. the same.Copy !req
851. What I'm saying is...Copy !req
852. thank you, Chris.Copy !req
853. Thank you.Copy !req
854. Umm...Copy !req
855. this is such a crock of shit.Copy !req
856. Carmela.Copy !req
857. I'm sitting here thinking
I should protect my childrenCopy !req
858. from the truth about their
grandmother on the one hand.Copy !req
859. On the other, I'm saying to myself,Copy !req
860. what kind of example am I setting?Copy !req
861. Evading and smiling,
passing out cheese puffs...Copy !req
862. over a woman that we all know
was terribly dysfunctional!Copy !req
863. Who spread no cheer.Copy !req
864. At all.Copy !req
865. Carmela, be quiet.Copy !req
866. This is my house!Copy !req
867. I'm leaving.Copy !req
868. Let her talk. Sit down!Copy !req
869. I'll speak if I want!Copy !req
870. Goddamnit, who are you,Copy !req
871. minister of propaganda?Copy !req
872. We suffered for years under
the yoke of that woman.Copy !req
873. Years!Copy !req
874. She estranged us from our own daughter.Copy !req
875. Ruined I don't know how
many goddamn Christmases,Copy !req
876. I don't want to even begin to count.Copy !req
877. Hugh.Copy !req
878. Don't hand me that!Copy !req
879. Bullshit!Copy !req
880. You wanted it, you got it.Copy !req
881. Here, here.Copy !req
882. From beyond the grave even.Copy !req
883. This is a woman who
didn't want a funeral.Copy !req
884. You all, her children,
you ignored her wishes.Copy !req
885. Only after she's dead, by the way.Copy !req
886. She didn't want a funeral.Copy !req
887. She didn't want a remembrance
of any kind.Copy !req
888. Why?Copy !req
889. She didn't think anybody would come.Copy !req
890. She wouldn't write down her
memories for her grandchildrenCopy !req
891. because she figured nobody
loved her enough to read them.Copy !req
892. She knew there was a problem.Copy !req
893. Um, there's desserts...Copy !req
894. in the dining room
if anybody wants some.Copy !req
895. Yes, um...Copy !req
896. and they're all from Vesuvio.Copy !req
897. Our new pastry chef, Bobby Vasquez.Copy !req
898. Thanks.Copy !req
899. Mike's here.Copy !req
900. He's come to see you.Copy !req
901. You must like Mike a lot better than me.Copy !req
902. No, no, Tommy boy, you're my baby.Copy !req
903. You're going to get well and strong.Copy !req
904. All of us together again.Copy !req
905. I'm almost glad this happened.Copy !req
906. Yeah, this is Mike.Copy !req
907. When?Copy !req
908. You were?Copy !req
909. Fine.Copy !req
910. Ma, they're bringing Tom home.Copy !req
911. They are, when?Copy !req
912. Right now, he's on his way.Copy !req
913. Oh, it's wonderful.Copy !req
914. I'll get his room ready.Copy !req
915. I knew my baby would come home.Copy !req