The Sopranos 3x13

1. I gotta pee.

2. The janitor leaves at 8:00.

3. You can wait ten minutes.

4. Now I gotta pee.

5. Got it.

6. - Listen to Super Bowl 35 - on the radio...

7. This is that kid I was telling you about, man.

8. He needs to crash here.

9. He can get you a Glock 9.

10. Welcome to the Boonton Holiday Inn.

11. My name is Leena.

12. What's your name?

13. I probably shouldn't say.

14. Mr. X, then.

15. You'll be safe here, bro.

16. Your guido friends would never think to look for you here.

17. How do I open this door?

18. Did you like the room, Nucci? Did you think it was nice?

19. That's Sammy Cahn.

20. That's one of my favorites.

21. I'll have the deposit, the 40,000 to you,

22. end of the week.

23. If you could transfer...

24. We have an even bigger sing on Parisian Night,

25. - which is Fridays. - Oh, Madonna mi'.

26. They don't eat snails, do they?

27. No.

28. Coq au vin, blanket of veal.

29. Ma, what's the matter?

30. My son lets me live in a place like this.

31. He's such a good boy.

32. Yeah, well, who's the queen, huh?

33. Come on, now, dry those peeps.

34. Listen to this.

35. Nineteen-year-old college kid in Michigan,

36. he's coming out for the NBA draft as a sophomore.

37. He figures he'll go in the first round.

38. He's dead from crack.

39. I was thinking about Ro'.

40. And here, Jackie had her convinced

41. he was just smoking a little marijuana,

42. making "C's" in school.

43. And he was dealing hard drugs.

44. You never know with your kids.

45. It's like I've been saying,

46. the shit that can happen over drug money.

47. Well, you tried, Tony, with that boy.

48. Nice haul,

49. cracking that strongbox.

50. Almost 100K.

51. Where's my half?

52. Fucking week now.

53. Well, let's see,

54. after you kick upstairs, you'll net...

55. What are you, my accountant?

56. I'm better with numbers than nine-tenths of your accountants.

57. Kind of in arrears in the respect department, aren't you?

58. Fuck you talking about?

59. Your future stepson.

60. Card game? Come on. He pissed on your leg.

61. Killed your dealer, shot at two made guys.

62. "A," you're talking shit that's none of your business.

63. And "B," I'm gonna give that little fuck ammaz"

64. he'll never forget.

65. Soon as we can locate him.

66. He's in that housing project in fucking Boonton.

67. So, this 50 G's, you think you deserve it?

68. "Deserve" ugatz. It's my territory.

69. What?

70. It's me. Uh, Tony.

71. Tony.

72. - Tony, what is it? - It's really Vito.

73. You said to call in five minutes.

74. No, no, no, no.

75. I'm not doing nothing important right now.

76. I'm watching the guy clean his windshield.

77. He's got a green hat on.

78. It's that big, huh?

79. Some birds up ahead, flying.

80. Some weeds across the street there.

81. Well...

82. I could be there in a half-hour?

83. I think I see a rabbit or a squirrel.

84. I don't know what it is.

85. Maybe it's a possum.

86. No, I'll see you then.

87. Well, what can I do?

88. To be continued, looks like.

89. Tony needs me.

90. We'll work this out another time.

91. Hello?

92. Tony? It's me.

93. You shouldn't be calling me here.

94. I have to.

95. What else am I gonna do?

96. Don't say nothing.

97. You gotta help me.

98. Talk to your stepfather. Let him help.

99. I can't talk to him.

100. Look, I'm up in...

101. I don't want to know.

102. You call him, you tell him to come get you, help you.

103. - Whatever. - Tony, please.

104. I'm sorry.

105. Please don't hang up.

106. For my dad, if not for me.

107. Well, he's been dead two years.

108. As a matter of fact,

109. the expiration date was last week

110. on all your bullshit with that.

111. When you and him did the same thing, you got forgiven.

112. Go think about it.

113. See if you can figure out the difference.

114. Don't call me no more.

115. Mr. X, can you play chess?

116. No.

117. I can. My daddy taught me.

118. Economic downturn. That's all you hear about.

119. But not you, boy.

120. You got 300 G's of the Esplanade green grass

121. being chauffeured home.

122. Yeah.

123. Good job.

124. Jackie Jr. call you?

125. No, why?

126. - He called me. - Oh...

127. I'm sorry.

128. Nah, don't apologize.

129. Anyway, I told him to take it up with you.

130. Ton', what do you want me to do?

131. I mean, you're the boss of the family...

132. Whoa, whoa, whoa, we talked about this.

133. You were gonna give him a pass.

134. But he should know.

135. You don't want to create confusion, insubordination.

136. But more important than the particular decision

137. is that it happen in a timely fashion.

138. But, fuck, why am I telling you?

139. You know all this. You're a captain.

140. Chain of command is very important in our thing.

141. I'm sorry he called your house.

142. Don't apologize.

143. Imagine, neither of you had ever gotten so much

144. as a passing grade on any geometry test,

145. and then the midterm.

146. Sister Agnes shared these with me.

147. Both of you got 96% correct.

148. Remarkable.

149. I'd like to call your parents

150. and share the good news with them.

151. Oh, you really don't have to.

152. What do you want to tell me?

153. If you cooperate now, it'll be easier later.

154. All we did was study hard.

155. I don't have to waste my time with you.

156. It was both your urines

157. that Mr. Lubimov spent two hours scrubbing.

158. Your DNA was an exact match.

159. Oh, jeez!

160. He's the one who peed first!

161. I didn't even have to pee till he did it.

162. I could take another test. You could watch me.

163. He's back.

164. Junior Soprano beat cancer?

165. As far as anyone can tell.

166. This prick is laughing at us.

167. We get another crack at him?

168. For a change, the judge ruled with us.

169. - He'll set a new trial date in 30 days. - Good.

170. Tony?

171. Well, we had the lamp problem.

172. Can't we get to him through the nephew? He's been made.

173. What about what we did with Archie Banners?

174. - His wife Niki? - Moltisanti is engaged

175. to a lovely thing called Adriana La Cerva.

176. Good.

177. Would you ask Deborah to come in here, please?

178. May I just point out, all she's ever done is background checks.

179. Where'd you start?

180. Deborah.

181. How would you like a new best friend

182. for the next nine, ten months?

183. Uh...

184. Let me put it this way.

185. How big can you make your hair?

186. Tampa, site of Super Bowl 35,

187. coming up on Sunday, and today is media day.

188. No.

189. You pawn can only move two spaces on the first move.

190. Sorry.

191. There.

192. - Yo, I think you're done for. - We just started.

193. Yeah, but the way she's developing her knights.

194. I win again.

195. Now, see, you should've played that out.

196. That's the only way you gon' learn.

197. I'm going down the park, see Bruce.

198. You guys need anything?

199. Nah, I'm cool.

200. What are you laughing at?

201. How could it be $3,200?

202. He said the transmission was completely compromised.

203. I never even heard of that!

204. I want my guy to take a look at it.

205. I already told this guy to go ahead.

206. Well, then call him back,

207. tell him not to.

208. Tell him we're picking up the car.

209. Forget it, I don't care.

210. - Let him do it. - Are you sure, honey?

211. What the fuck did I just say?

212. Look, Ro',

213. I'm coming home late.

214. I got some shit I gotta do.

215. The Super Bowl returns to Tampa,

216. - and so does quarterback... - How much?

217. A dime? You got it.

218. who was run out of this town just a year ago.

219. I know what the Ravens' offense is gonna do...

220. what the Giants' defense is gonna do.

221. What I don't know is what the Giants' offense is gonna do.

222. We're writing a lot of slips on this game.

223. Hey.

224. I'm going to the betting parlor.

225. Hey, neither defense thinks that the other offense

226. can score on them.

227. I think because the defense of the Giants

228. feels so confident they can shut out the Ravens...

229. I been dreaming of that fucking lo mein

230. all the way the fuck over here.

231. Now, who came in here and ate my shit?

232. Not for nothing, T.,

233. but I think you've been wound a little tight lately.

234. It's that sack of shit Ralphie.

235. That's what I gotta talk to you about.

236. He didn't pay me the 50 G's he owes me that comes out

237. that check-cashing store in Morristown.

238. You lost me.

239. I got an alarm guy on my payroll.

240. I tipped Ralphie's guys about the safe.

241. Gave them the codes.

242. So Ralphie says the dough is his.

243. I'll talk to him about it.

244. Fuck that!

245. I've been telling you for months now this guy's no good.

246. And I need that money for my long-range planning!

247. I want a sit-down.

248. All right.

249. Answer the fucking phone.

250. Hello?

251. Yeah.

252. Carmela.

253. Sounds like she's crying.

254. Yeah?

255. What?

256. A permanent expulsion.

257. I prayed I would never see this.

258. Even I managed to get through school without getting expelled.

259. You know, maybe it's a blessing.

260. Well, I don't see how that could be.

261. The place was too loose. It was too easy.

262. How can you say that? I got expelled.

263. You got nothing to say till I tell you!

264. Unless I ask you a direct question!

265. Tony.

266. I work hard all day to pay for this 6,000- square-foot house,

267. big-screen TVs, food on the table,

268. video games, all kinds of scooters and bicycles,

269. Columbia University, and for what?

270. To come home to this?

271. Sucks to be you.

272. My God, Tony!

273. There's more where that came from!

274. We're starting a new regime around here!

275. The school guidance counselor

276. said this might be a cry for help.

277. Oh, come on, will you?

278. She recommended a school in New Brunswick.

279. Birnwood Day. It's for troubled kids.

280. There's a psychologist right on staff.

281. No. No more fucking schools that coddle him.

282. He's going to military school.

283. - What? - That's right.

284. I got some brochures.

285. You got school brochures.

286. Yeah, from Janice. She was gonna send Harper there,

287. but she didn't have the money and it was too fucking late!

288. I'm not sending him away.

289. We're looking at those brochures!

290. What is with you, Tony?

291. Now, this I like.

292. Highly structured environment.

293. Which one is that?

294. HMI.

295. Hudson Military Institute.

296. "Our second century of excellence."

297. I never said I was going.

298. We're just looking, honey.

299. We're looking, and then you're going.

300. Here.

301. Hello?

302. Yes.

303. Oh, hi, Marie.

304. No.

305. Oh, my God.

306. Where's Rosalie?

307. She's right here.

308. She can't come to the phone.

309. Tell her I'll be there as soon as I can.

310. - Oh, my God. - What is it?

311. Jackie Jr. was shot to death.

312. At the Boonton projects. By drug dealers.

313. I'm going over Rosalie's.

314. You see?

315. - Taco Bell. - Hi.

316. Hey.

317. There's something I gotta tell you.

318. I heard.

319. How?

320. Like Mom's not totally gonna tell me you got expelled.

321. Not that.

322. I heard you cracked and copped to everything.

323. They had my DNA.

324. Moron, it takes like six weeks to get DNA tests.

325. Shit.

326. I gotta go.

327. - No, I didn't tell you yet. - What?

328. Jackie, he was doing a drug deal with some black dudes,

329. and they shot him.

330. He's, like, dead.

331. Twenty-two years old.

332. Living in a housing project.

333. Imagine the shame for the family?

334. Fortunately, they were no longer boyfriend and girlfriend.

335. How's your daughter taking it?

336. Not very well.

337. You certainly saw it coming with this boy, didn't you?

338. In the end, I failed him.

339. What the fuck you gonna do?

340. World today.

341. I'll tell you one thing, though.

342. I'm not gonna make the same mistake with A.J.

343. He got expelled.

344. Him, we're sending to military school.

345. You know, we never discussed

346. exactly what you want for your children.

347. I don't want them to end up in Boonton

348. with their face blown off.

349. You followed your father into his business.

350. I didn't have a choice.

351. I try to make sure my kids have every opportunity.

352. Meadow's going to Columbia, for chrissakes.

353. Wants to be some kind of a professional woman.

354. Like you.

355. A psychiatrist?

356. And have to listen to guys like me whine all day?

357. She mentioned being a pediatrician once.

358. - You'd like that? - Yeah, I would.

359. I would like something like that.

360. But the important thing is she get far away from me.

361. I mean, she could live close.

362. I think I understand.

363. And your son?

364. A.J.?

365. In my business? Forget it.

366. He'd never make it.

367. Your father and I have to drive A.J.

368. up to Hudson Institute for his interview.

369. I would feel much better if you were up and moving.

370. Jackie's dead,

371. and you perseverate on secondary schools.

372. I was up half the night with Ro'.

373. And this morning,

374. her sister and I made all the funeral arrangements.

375. Your brother doesn't a have school.

376. He can't be allowed to sit around chatting all day

377. on the Web with the other dropouts and the flakes.

378. You know, he's the first person my own age that I knew

379. that ever died.

380. Well, he knew all the risks involved.

381. What, the X?

382. Half the kids I know take it.

383. They have to get it from someone.

384. It's not something you get killed over.

385. Except that he did.

386. Or not.

387. Meaning?

388. Look at who he grew up with.

389. Look at who his father was.

390. Look at everybody we know.

391. Let's not get cute.

392. When I'm being cute, I'll let you know.

393. You liked Jackie, so you don't want to believe

394. that he did this to himself.

395. So, like a lot of other people,

396. you go around looking for bogeymen to blame.

397. Bogeymen with Italian names.

398. So, whatever you're thinking,

399. you just stop thinking it right now,

400. because that is not what happened.

401. Left, left, left, right, left.

402. Left, left, left, right, left.

403. Stealing an exam, that's quite a personal defeat, isn't it?

404. It was wrong.

405. That sounds pre-programmed.

406. That how you saw your future self

407. when you were a younger man?

408. - A cheat? - No.

409. How do you explain it?

410. There's, like, all this academic pressure,

411. about getting into college.

412. My school, they're like obsessed.

413. There's "like" academic pressure,

414. or academic pressure?

415. There's all this pressure. My parents too.

416. My sister, she goes to Columbia,

417. and I know my parents expect me to go.

418. Around here, we all call that stinkin' thinkin'.

419. It's precisely the same with an alcoholic.

420. No one makes him put that drink to his lips but himself.

421. I'm not an alcoholic.

422. How do we do things differently here at HMI

423. than at your former school?

424. I don't know.

425. Well, I realize you don't know.

426. I'm about to tell you.

427. At your school... and it's not a bad school...

428. you're right, there's too much emphasis on what's good for you.

429. What's good for Johnny, what's good for Janey.

430. Here, the higher good is the good of the Corps.

431. As General MacArthur said in his farewell address at the Point,

432. "The Corps, the Corps, the Corps."

433. Now, how do we achieve this revolutionary change in thinking on your part?

434. Cadet Corps has first call and formation, 0530 each day.

435. March in formation to first mess, 0620,

436. followed by dorm inspection, 0700.

437. Classes, 0800 to 1440.

438. Athletic formation, 1500, except Thursdays,

439. which is drill, or commander's time.

440. 1900 to 2100 is evening study time.

441. Taps, lights out, 2200 hours, what's missing?

442. Give up? Television.

443. What's 0530 mean?

444. 5:30 a.m.

445. I just outlined for you

446. a blueprint for total self-discipline

447. that would take you through your entire life,

448. and that's your only question?

449. Why do guys in the Army

450. or, like, spies use that 0-thing when they tell time?

451. That'll be made abundantly clear to you.

452. For now, we have an expression around here: "Keep it simple."

453. Captain Delaunay?

454. Please give Mr. Soprano the standard T.O.I.

455. while I meet with his parents.

456. Sir, yes, sir.

457. I, for one, think Anthony could greatly benefit

458. from our program, which, as I candidly told him,

459. is very rigorous.

460. Do you mind?

461. I will be very frank with you, Major Zwingli.

462. I do not agree with this hard-nosed discipline.

463. The mothers seldom do.

464. Wait till he starts opening doors for you

465. and pulling back your chair.

466. Now that would be a miracle.

467. That's not even something we thought we could hope for.

468. What about creativity, Tony?

469. Independent thought?

470. I stressed rather heavily with Anthony

471. notions of duty and groupthink.

472. But I didn't for now mention to him the Army's motto of today.

473. "Be an army of one."

474. Why be an army at all?

475. How about a veterinarian?

476. Isn't there enough war?

477. Amputees?

478. Horrible displaced...

479. Jesus, he's just gonna march around a little bit.

480. I wouldn't get too hung up on the marching aspect.

481. It's part of it,

482. but it's nothing compared to the mentoring

483. that comes through small class size

484. and faculty involvement in dorm life.

485. Well, that sounds wonderful, certainly.

486. We've created too many options for our kids.

487. We can't blame them for being confused.

488. Then when things go wrong, we fob them off

489. onto the ever-burgeoning

490. for-profit substance recovery industry.

491. This "army of one" thing,

492. what happens when each army of one decides, fuck it,

493. I not going over the top of the foxhole?

494. Or, why don't we just blow the lieutenant's head off?

495. You know, 'cause they've been told, you know,

496. "You're an army of one."

497. I would submit Audie Murphy was an army of one.

498. Is that what we're preparing him for?

499. A career in the military?

500. No! No.

501. One day at a time.

502. You want to train him to be a professional killer?

503. Oh, will you stop?

504. They're soldiers!

505. And the United States Army hardly ever goes to war anymore!

506. They were marching with rifles, Tony!

507. They're symbolic! The barrels are plugged!

508. Symbolic of what?

509. Respect!

510. He will be subjected to the discipline

511. of kids hardly older than himself.

512. Does that seem smart?

513. Boys his age still kill frogs and small animals.

514. The Cusamanos' Binky?

515. The cherry bomb with the nails in it,

516. you think it was A.J.?

517. No, that is what I'm trying to tell you!

518. He is still a child. He's a normal child.

519. He's made some mistakes, and God knows,

520. he's got a shitload to learn about life.

521. That does not mean that I'm gonna let you send him

522. to the type of school whose whole reason for being

523. is to make him follow orders by instilling fear!

524. He thinks the world owes him a fucking living!

525. What could have given him that bizarre idea?

526. We tried it your way for 15 years now.

527. With the Berry Brazleton, and the validating his feelings.

528. And that fucking school did the same thing,

529. and what a surprise!

530. He thinks the world runs on his feelings!

531. Well, he's gonna go learn to be a man!

532. I will not send him to that place!

533. Oh, no, fuck that! Allow me!

534. Fuck!

535. God!

536. T.

537. About the sit-down. I haven't heard, and...

538. Jesus Christ, can I bury my best friend's kid?

539. I am not ready for this.

540. Okay, let's go.

541. We gotta do this.

542. Come here, you.

543. Rosalie?

544. Ro', honey?

545. Hi, sweetheart.

546. Ro', I'm so sorry.

547. Mm-hm, lay some off.

548. How much?

549. Hey.

550. I'm so sorry about your brother.

551. You remember my cousin, Mackenzie Coluccio.

552. Oh, my God!

553. Oh.

554. - Here, come on, sit down. - Come on, sweetheart. Sit.

555. It's all right.

556. Sit down.

557. It's okay.

558. A point and a quarter.

559. Would you listen to me, Moose?

560. It's very simple.

561. Look at this place.

562. You're still good.

563. Two days before the Super Bowl,

564. and nobody shows up.

565. That's not true, Mom.

566. You think I'd remember, all my years married to Jack.

567. What happened, Ton'?

568. Vegas moving the line?

569. Cover us. Just make sure.

570. Point and a half.

571. Talk to you a minute?

572. Russ? Mr. Cozzarelli?

573. My partner and I cut this.

574. Devotional music.

575. It's a little ragged. It's a demo.

576. Christian contemporary.

577. I wish I had it for my mother's funeral.

578. Tommy Mottola at Sony,

579. looks like he's gonna offer us a deal.

580. Listen, about Jackie.

581. And you know Ralph...

582. How you handled that

583. so it wouldn't stick to any of us...

584. I'm only here out of respect to you.

585. But I'm sorry that I was musciad there.

586. And...

587. I appreciate that you were looking out for me.

588. Oh, yeah?

589. You were close to the kid, I know.

590. No, you don't know.

591. Anyway, what I said about not loving you...

592. that's not how it is.

593. Let's try it your way.

594. I got here first?

595. Cocksucker!

596. Sit down, relax, have a coffee.

597. He'll be here.

598. Well, I think I got Ma situated.

599. The Brother Job home.

600. Nah, fuck that. We went there.

601. Che puzz'.

602. I almost gagged.

603. Nah, we're gonna go with Green Grove.

604. Based on your recommendation, Ton'.

605. I never recommended it.

606. Yeah, you did, when you had your ma there.

607. By the way, did she have the silver bird package?

608. - I don't know. - You know, Sil,

609. it's the most expensive nursing home in the state.

610. It's a retirement community.

611. The level of care.

612. Ma was crying.

613. - Eight grand a month? - Who gives a fuck?

614. You see a Seeing Eye dog over here?

615. Cup full of pencils?

616. I'm not trying to insult you. I'm just saying.

617. Be tough, but I'll figure it out.

618. Worth every fucking penny.

619. I'm the hero now, boy.

620. Thanks.

621. - Hey. - You're late.

622. Well, tomorrow I can be on time, but you'll be stupid forever.

623. Hey, hey, sit down!

624. Sit the fuck down and shut up!

625. You want one of those?

626. No.

627. I was at my goomar all night.

628. Ro' with the grief, poor kid.

629. I can't get any sleep there. It's incessant.

630. So, who wants to talk first?

631. What's to fucking talk about? I'm owed that 50 G's.

632. A fucking alarm code, 50 G's?

633. Five tops, maybe, as a finder's fee!

634. Frigging heist fell in your lap.

635. You spend your days fucking those fat pigs

636. in the outer office at the carpenters' union.

637. Three mil a year from construction,

638. this family sees.

639. All right, five's just the negotiating platform.

640. Take it easy.

641. All right, it's not five. We all know that.

642. His guys did the heavy lifting.

643. Little Paulie was good to go.

644. Fucking car never came.

645. They left him waiting outside his house like an asshole,

646. fucking 11-degree weather.

647. Ralphie, give him 12K.

648. - I can't believe this. - Why not?

649. Last year, you believed that flying saucer

650. was over East Rutherford.

651. I'm not gonna tell you again!

652. T., I'm asking you to reconsider this.

653. Paulie, you requested a sit-down,

654. he heard you out.

655. But, Jesus-fucking-Christ,

656. I'm leaving $38,000 on the table.

657. Tony! I had to park the car all the way over there!

658. Son of a bitch!

659. Ah!

660. Come on, get up.

661. - Miss? - Mm-hm?

662. Can you tell me where I could find something more dressy?

663. Not evening, but muted?

664. I'll go look.

665. They have this great little black cocktail I saw over there.

666. Mm, those I have.

667. Thing is, it's for a funeral.

668. Oh, I'm so sorry.

669. Yeah.

670. Guy was like 22.

671. Car accident?

672. Actually, murder.

673. He was a cousin of mine.

674. Anyway, last time we went to a funeral,

675. my boyfriend bitched me out over what I wore.

676. It was his boss' mother's wake.

677. I said, "Come on, you think Tony even noticed

678. for, like, one minute what I had on?"

679. But he keeps on about everything.

680. Oh, Marone, Jesus.

681. Me too.

682. I love Blahniks, but they were killing me last night.

683. Ugh!

684. I was gonna go sit with a Starbucks.

685. - So was I. - You wanna go together?

686. - Yeah. - Great.

687. Blahniks, they are slimline.

688. I was dancing, my God.

689. But I'll tell you, Jimmy Choos?

690. Worse!

691. My name's Danielle, by the way.

692. Adriana. You live in Nutley?

693. If you're one of the thousands of men

694. who suffer from erectile dysfunction,

695. you already know that it's no laughing matter.

696. Hey, I know this guy!

697. What you probably don't know, however,

698. is that treatment is covered by most medical plans.

699. I'm Dr. Ira Freid, of the Freid Medical Group.

700. Be it Viagra, penile enhancement surgery...

701. Imagine, needing an operation like that.

702. I can help you increase the length, girth,

703. and vitality of what occurred naturally.

704. My associates and I have offices conveniently located

705. throughout the Tristate area.

706. Our discretion is assured.

707. Oh! Sergeant Bilko.

708. Tony.

709. You're right, I'm sorry.

710. Just thought we shouldn't get too gloomy about this.

711. My God, Anthony.

712. Your dress grays. You know what?

713. You look very handsome.

714. She's right, you do.

715. Yeah, right.

716. No, I'm serious.

717. Tight suit like that, it shows off your lats.

718. Here, put on the hat.

719. No way.

720. Oh, please?

721. He looked so cute at the uniform company.

722. You're not gonna sew the hat.

723. - Just put the hat on for your mother. - No!

724. What did you say?

725. Now look at that.

726. I'm serious, you look very impressive.

727. Oh, my God, if I wasn't already married.

728. I look like a total jerkoff.

729. You do not.

730. What are you, crying?

731. I don't want to go there.

732. - You need toughening up! - Tony!

733. Stand up straight, okay?

734. I'm standing fucking straight!

735. Hey, you keep it up, goddamn it!

736. I think...

737. I think the hat goes in the crook of your arm here.

738. Like that.

739. You look good.

740. Oh, my God. Anthony?

741. A.J.! A.J.!

742. Anthony. Here...

743. Get some water or something.

744. My son...

745. has panic attacks.

746. Now obviously, we can't send him

747. to military school.

748. Pediatrician said.

749. He's got that putrid, rotten, fucking Soprano gene.

750. It's a slight tic in his fight/flight response.

751. It doesn't brand him as anything.

752. You know, it comes down through the ages.

753. I remember hearing about my great-great-great-grandfather.

754. He drove a mule cart off a mountain road.

755. He was transporting these valuable jugs of olive oil.

756. Probably was a panic attack.

757. When you blame your genes, you're really blaming yourself.

758. And that's what we should be talking about.

759. Fucking Verbum Dei school.

760. Turns out it happened before, but they didn't tell us.

761. Idiot nurse, she diagnosed it as dehydration

762. from football practice.

763. Can you believe they didn't inform the parents?

764. I'm not a "ligitigous" person, or whatever the fuck.

765. I prefer to resolve things directly.

766. But this time, I'm gonna sue!

767. Well, that's your right.

768. Anthony?

769. You don't understand.

770. Make me understand.

771. We can't send him to that place.

772. Yes?

773. How are we gonna save this kid?

774. Your mother!

775. Come on, let's go.

776. Silvio Manfred Dante?

777. - At a funeral? - Detective Filemon Francis,

778. Essex County Sheriff's Department.

779. You're under arrest for violation

780. Title 2C, Chapter 37, Section 2

781. promoting gambling.

782. Every fucking Super Bowl,

783. the D.A. grabs a few popcorn headlines.

784. Here, go ahead.

785. Last year, I made bail so fast,

786. my soup was still warm when I got home.

787. All right, come on, keep moving.

788. Jesus Christ, you told me 11:00!

789. I'm sorry!

790. "Sorry." That's all I hear.

791. Junior, look.

792. Junior!

793. Junior, don't leave me!

794. In sure and certain hope

795. of the Resurrection to eternal life

796. through our Lord, Jesus Christ,

797. we commend to Almighty God our brother,

798. Giacomo Michael Aprile Jr.

799. And we commit his body to the ground.

800. No!

801. Why? Why my Jackie?

802. Why my baby? Why?

803. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

804. The Lord bless him and keep him.

805. The Lord make his face to shine upon him

806. and be gracious to him.

807. The Lord lift up His countenance upon him

808. and give him peace.

809. Someone from the family should go down to Artie's.

810. Stop thinking, Ro'.

811. Let's get you to bed.

812. He opened up the restaurant for us.

813. All those people down there.

814. So, Mead, was he dealing while you guys were dating?

815. Hey, Mackenzie, why don't you shut your fucking mouth?

816. I was just asking.

817. Please, okay?

818. My brother's whole stupid pathetic dream

819. was to follow in our father's footsteps.

820. I gotta paint a picture?

821. He was killed by some fat fuck in see-through socks.

822. Take your pick. They all look alike.

823. Actually, Kelli, you really have no basis to say that.

824. We used to joke around about our families.

825. What happened to you?

826. Look, I know this is a really painful time for you,

827. but your brother's best friend was an Israeli X dealer.

828. I met him.

829. Wow, so it was international.

830. Let's just drop it, okay?

831. Yeah, right.

832. I mean, if my dad still controlled all the crime

833. in North Jersey like your dad does now,

834. I'd probably want to drop it too.

835. But then, it might not have happened.

836. Wait, this is way beyond.

837. Our dads are in the garbage business.

838. And it's always good for a laugh.

839. And, yeah, they brush up against organized crime.

840. But you think they control every slimeball and illegal gun

841. in like a hundred communities?

842. The fact that you would even say this in front of an outsider

843. is amazing to me.

844. Jesus Christ, some loyalty?

845. Their names, etched forever in history.

846. Their hands, around football's most revered trophy.

847. Immortalized...

848. How are you?

849. Want a drink?

850. I gotta go. Ma's alone.

851. He's having a full dinner, huh?

852. I'm done already. It's good gravy today.

853. Sad day.

854. Mm-hm.

855. Kid was always a dumb fuck, though, wasn't he?

856. Didn't he almost drown in three inches of water?

857. The penguin exhibit.

858. Jack tried to lay off all Jackie's problems

859. on a learning disorder, but...

860. Well, stupidity would be a learning disorder,

861. wouldn't it?

862. Look at this crappy turnout.

863. You know, if Jackie Sr. was still acting boss,

864. with a child passed away?

865. This place would be filled to the rafters.

866. Flower cars up and down the block.

867. No matter what the boy had done.

868. Now?

869. Well, Bobby says me you're out from under the house arrest.

870. Congratulations.

871. My fucking lawyer was finally able to demonstrate

872. I don't pose a flight risk.

873. Flight risk.

874. I've been farting into the same sofa cushion

875. for the last 18 months.

876. The RICO trial's coming up, though.

877. At least you're out.

878. And you're eating regular food again.

879. The fucking illness changed my whole viewpoint.

880. I'm gonna stop and smell the roses.

881. We all should.

882. I mean, what the fuck?

883. In the museum of noses,

884. there goes the frigging Mona Lisa.

885. What the fuck you doing out here?

886. Ginny thinks I quit.

887. Jesus Christ.

888. Fucking underboss of a Five Families family.

889. Ginny can get heavy.

890. What's the matter?

891. Ah, nothing.

892. You could tell Uncle John.

893. Fucking Tony.

894. He knows my mother's ill,

895. then he rules against me in this Morristown bullshit.

896. Maybe you heard about it.

897. I don't stick my beak in.

898. Since Ralphie's bringing him all this Esplanade scarol',

899. you'd think I was carrying a load in my pants,

900. the way Tony sticks his nose up when I'm around.

901. - Ah. - I'm not insensitive.

902. I hurt too.

903. You think Tony plays favorites like that?

904. What do I say to Ma?

905. She thinks she's going to this paradise of nursing homes.

906. Same one his mother put her fucking feet up at for a year, by the way.

907. Don't confuse money with caring.

908. Look how he treated her.

909. I mean, he's my dear friend, but come on.

910. I was just saying that to Junior.

911. That maybe Tony fundamentally don't respect the elderly.

912. You said that to Junior?

913. What are you making, minest'?

914. You know, Carmine, too.

915. Sometimes he gets very frustrated with Tony and Ralphie.

916. That generation.

917. He thinks the whole Esplanade thing, rich as it is,

918. wasn't handled right risk-wise.

919. How is Carmine?

920. He asks about you.

921. - Give him my love. - I will.

922. He'll like hearing that.

923. He's not as well as he could be either, you know.

924. If there's ever anything I can do, anything,

925. he shouldn't hesitate.

926. I'll tell him.

927. You okay?

928. Yeah.

929. You had a few drinks over there.

930. We all could use it.

931. I was thinking before.

932. About what you once said,

933. how you have to max out the good times with the people you love.

934. God, am I learning that that, like, is so true.

935. Actually, your father said that.

936. Anyway, I mean, look how people deal with each other.

937. Even families,

938. like Jackie's family.

939. What about them?

940. They were never there for him.

941. I mean, Aunt Ro's sweet, but she's, like, hello.

942. Uncle Jackie?

943. So narcissistic.

944. They let him do whatever he wanted.

945. When you'd ask him, like,

946. "Aren't you afraid what your parents are gonna say?"

947. About, I don't know, whatever.

948. And he would just go, "They don't give a shit."

949. But I think it hurt his feelings inside.

950. Well, I'm glad you see.

951. Yeah, right.

952. You're glad I see.

953. What you take from this is an excuse

954. to get intrusive and controlling.

955. That is not what I'm talking about, Jesus!

956. What did I say?

957. Meadow, you are out from under our roof.

958. A.J., then.

959. You'll use it against him.

960. "Against him"?

961. I'm sorry I said anything.

962. Young bearded stranger turns.

963. Rabbi goes, "Don't touch me, I'm on total disability."

964. They're back!

965. I fucked them.

966. Great fucking timing.

967. Come here, baby. Come here, come here.

968. When'd you get here?

969. Just now.

970. Come on, Junior, sing it!

971. - Junior! - Come on!

972. Come on!

973. Junior, come on.

974. Come on, let's go!

975. What the hell.

976. I beat cancer.

977. Now I'm gonna beat the can.

978. Nah, that's too high. No, no, bring it down.

979. What is this?

980. What's that?

981. Cosmo.

982. He's not bad when he's had a few 'bucas.

983. - He's shit-faced. - Don't laugh.

984. Hold this.

985. Yeah, yeah, I'm going, I'm going.

986. Come here!

987. Did you hear me?

988. I said come here!

989. This is such bullshit!

990. Meadow!

991. Hey, guys, let's go.

992. Come on.

993. Back to school, I guess.

994. Did you give her money for the bus?

995. I don't know. She got her purse.

996. She'll be all right.

997. No way.

998. Stand still and be quiet.

999. What's that mean, cuore ingrata?

1000. "Ungrateful heart."