The Sopranos 3x10

1. I'm in Asbury.

2. I'll be at your boatyard in 15 minutes.

3. No, I got a meeting. I'll come there after.

4. Fuck.

5. O.J. Simpson's acquittal they still cannot accept,

6. and now they're suing him in civil court.

7. Simpson's attorney is outraged. Fred Goldman is philosophical.

8. In Jersey, they'd have fried his worthless ass.

9. Well, he's shunned on his golf course now.

10. Oh!

11. There he is, F. Lee Fatfuck.

12. Hold my briefs. Oh!

13. What's the matter with you?

14. My back.

15. Fucking ValuJet. Trying to save 50 bucks.

16. - How was Boca? - How do you think?

17. Your uncle's quaking in his boots I was there to pop him.

18. Oh! And wait till we get outside, huh?

19. Junior's looking for a way out.

20. But he's got that iron rod up his ass.

21. He thought he was in line to be boss.

22. Now he's gotta take orders from somebody

23. who used to fetch him his sambuca.

24. Hey, fuck him.

25. Is he gonna sit down or not?

26. If Tony will guarantee his safety.

27. You deal with it, all right, Tony?

28. Make it Christmas,

29. this way I don't have to go on that fucking cruise.

30. No sooner do I get back from Florida

31. than Ange has booked a suite on the Dawn Princess.

32. Five thousand bucks a week. No way off.

33. Thank God Carm gets seasick.

34. We're staying home this year

35. so Jackie can study for his SATs.

36. You know, Ro' found him a great tutor.

37. Pray he goes to a state school.

38. You ought to see Terri's bills from Villanova.

39. And Matt and Kevin right behind her.

40. Hey, Sal, you need money, you come to me.

41. You hear what I'm saying?

42. Don't be moving that "H" no more, Puss.

43. It's too risky.

44. I always wanted a house by the ocean.

45. Maybe in another life.

46. Ton'. Tony?

47. Hey, Paulie.

48. We gonna go see your boat?

49. Nah, I'm just...

50. thinking about our former friend.

51. Who?

52. Him?

53. Not me. Never.

54. Me and Jackie met him down here in '95

55. when he got back from Boca.

56. Oh, yeah, that crazy shit with your uncle.

57. Junior hijacked Jackie's truck.

58. What about it?

59. I should've seen it then, that's all.

60. Don't waste another second on that rat fuck, Ton'.

61. I'd kill him again if I could.

62. Tommy Angeletti, he's doing are-bar at the Esplanade.

63. Yeah?

64. He's into me for 100 large on college basketball.

65. Now Ralphie's holding up the contractor for more money.

66. He's got the site shut down on a strike.

67. Angeletti can't work.

68. Paulie, your fucking book against millions

69. gonna roll in off the Esplanade?

70. I figured you'd take his side.

71. But Ralphie shouldn't come across

72. with a couple of no-show electrician jobs?

73. I shouldn't get something out of this fucking Esplanade?

74. All right, I'll talk to him.

75. Oh, good, you're up.

76. I just got the digital video for Meadow.

77. It's three down, three to go.

78. Plus, the scooter is ready, but you have to pick it up.

79. It's on my list.

80. You're not gonna like this next bit of news either.

81. Janice is insisting on cooking Christmas dinner this year.

82. - Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? - I'm doing Christmas Eve.

83. You wanna turn her loose on shellfish?

84. She's determined to cook goose on Christmas Day.

85. Why?

86. Well, her impulses are right.

87. She's over here all the time.

88. She volunteered me to make the gravy and the lasagna,

89. so with everything else I gotta do today,

90. I gotta bring half my kitchen over there.

91. And she needs you because the fuse box is on the fritz again.

92. Oh, fuck, come on, I'm busy.

93. So, what, I'm not?

94. Well, I was feeling good.

95. All of a sudden, I'm back to square one.

96. What do you mean?

97. I had another one of those attacks this morning.

98. Not the whole thing.

99. But it was right there.

100. Under the surface.

101. That feeling like I got ginger ale in my brain.

102. Are you taking your medication?

103. Not every day. But...

104. Is that what the prescription says?

105. I know, another thing to feel bad about.

106. Well?

107. Can you tell me what led up to this?

108. You know my log?

109. I was supposed to write everything down for you?

110. Look, it's just a list of shit I gotta do for Christmas.

111. All the pressure we put on ourselves this time of the year.

112. I call it "stress-mas."

113. That's cute.

114. I was looking forward to Christmas this year.

115. No shit.

116. Now, here I go, right back in the fucking rabbit hole.

117. Okay, let's do the drill.

118. The attack, what preceded it?

119. Well, yesterday I went down to the shore

120. to get my boat winterized.

121. What happened?

122. I started thinking about this thing that happened years ago.

123. And I haven't thought about it since it happened.

124. Tell me about it.

125. I can't.

126. I see. We're at one of our favorite junctures.

127. Without going into specifics...

128. I can tell you it was a friend of mine.

129. And I found out he was working for the federal government.

130. Enough said?

131. I see.

132. Am I ruining your Christmas?

133. "A" -major?

134. "E" -major.

135. I don't know.

136. I mean, do you think it's too down?

137. I mean, with the chorus, "His blood cleans every stain"?

138. Oh, it's a great mother-jumping lyric, Jan.

139. Yeah, but what are we selling, Ajax here?

140. "His blood cleans stains"?

141. My brother, I hope.

142. Shit. Fuck.

143. Hey, you guys, come on in.

144. Hey, we're just working.

145. On the fuse box?

146. No, we're making a demo,

147. trying to get some major label interest here.

148. - Oofah. - God, the poor thing.

149. I'm not coming to eat here

150. unless this pigsty is cleaned up!

151. It's my wrist, Tony.

152. And the Percodans aren't even working anymore.

153. You got any rubber gloves?

154. I'll get started, and we can work on the stock.

155. Whoa, whoa, your wrist.

156. I thought the doctor said it was just a sprain.

157. Well, apparently, there's nerve involvement.

158. I may need an operation.

159. From the Russian?

160. The worst night of my life.

161. But it led me to Jesus.

162. Come on, Janice.

163. When's the last time you went to a prayer meeting?

164. I know.

165. And Aaron and I don't even sleep together anymore.

166. But in a larger sense,

167. Christianity's brought about a business with this CCM.

168. The what?

169. Christian Contemporary, Tony.

170. It's the fastest-growing marketing sector

171. in the music business today.

172. Here.

173. You knocked over your drink, honey.

174. Really hurts, huh?

175. Yeah.

176. Janice.

177. Ooh!

178. Here's a branch.

179. I don't see the rest of the tree.

180. Fuck that philosophical shit.

181. - Oh, Jesus. - What?

182. Oh, shit.

183. That is depressing.

184. I don't even wanna fucking touch this thing.

185. Hey.

186. The wife sends her love.

187. How are you, Ray?

188. How you doing, Hesh?

189. Tony, guess what we found in the bottom of the Christmas box?

190. The Santa outfit.

191. You guessed.

192. Burn the fucking thing.

193. This is the first Christmas in history

194. I remember him not being Santa.

195. Oh, Big Pussy.

196. We were talking the other day about that fat piece of shit.

197. When he got back from Boca at Christmas of '95,

198. how he wasn't himself.

199. What happened to not wasting your breath on the cocksucker?

200. - Two-faced fuck! - To sell out your friends

201. to save your own ass. It's despicable.

202. That's one ride I would've loved to have been along on.

203. - Yeah, me too. - Enough of this shit.

204. Put up the fucking decorations.

205. Well, we still gotta find somebody to play Santa.

206. Get the fuck outta here.

207. It's fitting, you know.

208. After all, it was your father

209. who started this whole tradition.

210. That's right. When Johnny boy busted this place out

211. and took it over,

212. and old man Satriale put a bullet in his own head,

213. there was a lot of sadness on the block.

214. Nothing a Christmas ham couldn't fix.

215. Come on, T.

216. Huh?

217. Fucking stop, all right?

218. Find somebody else to do it.

219. The big man!

220. Come have drink.

221. - Where's Slava? - Working, probably.

222. Anthony.

223. - How are you doing? - How are you?

224. You want something? Food?

225. No, we're just gonna talk.

226. Oh, high level.

227. Shh.

228. Looks like Valery's started to celebrate Christmas early.

229. You don't know the half.

230. Russian Christmas don't come till mid-January.

231. There's a quarter mil in there. My own personal funds.

232. I'll send it to Moscow with the IBM ThinkPads.

233. But this time, I want to use Promstrybank.

234. Anyway, they will send it to the Isle of Man,

235. to your bank, numbered account.

236. Agron...

237. Thanks.

238. Galina loved the Escalante, by the way.

239. You think you can get another one?

240. There is something, maybe, you can help me with.

241. You tell me what it is, I'll tell you if I can help.

242. I'm looking for this Russian.

243. He's a friend of Svetlana Kirilenko.

244. You know, Irina's cousin.

245. The one-legged woman. I know who she is.

246. But I don't want her involved.

247. All I know about this guy is he drives a livery cab,

248. and he wasn't very nice to someone important to me.

249. Don't think another thing about this.

250. I'll find him, I'll kick the shit out of him.

251. No, no, no, I'm gonna do this.

252. This motherfucker's mine.

253. What happened to the Jarlsberg that was here?

254. What, Sil?

255. Stop the music.

256. Cut! Stop the music!

257. There was an entire wedge of Jarlsberg here this morning.

258. - What happened to it? - I don't know.

259. Goddamn it!

260. Debbie had a roundelay

261. of French brie missing from her purse yesterday.

262. - In there? - Uh-huh.

263. Ever since we found that suit,

264. now I'm dreaming about that fat rat bastard.

265. What about it?

266. We did the right thing.

267. You're starting to worry me.

268. You got a problem?

269. '95.

270. I can't believe I didn't see it.

271. I had a fucking lamp down here, but Meadow took it to school.

272. You think it was down in Boca, though?

273. I mean, he was bringing the shit in through there?

274. No, no, it wasn't Boca.

275. They didn't flip him in Boca.

276. He was down there for 24 hours

277. to set up the sit-down with my uncle,

278. and I know for a fact he was with my uncle the whole time.

279. It was the sit-down.

280. Simpson himself attended

281. Barbieri's deposition,

282. but made no comment.

283. Next week, Simpson faces another challenge.

284. The Goldman attorney is seeking access...

285. I'm saturated with it.

286. in anticipation of collecting

287. punitive damages.

288. - Corrado. - John.

289. Where's Bonpensiero?

290. He's not here yet.

291. He supposed to be here.

292. He brokered the fucking thing.

293. Hey, I'm here.

294. What do you think?

295. I'm gonna let them hurt my only uncle?

296. No.

297. Sit down.

298. Where the fuck were you?

299. You better have a good excuse for why you're still alive.

300. I'm sorry, Skipper. It'll never happen again.

301. I hope nobody called the house, though.

302. I told Ange I was with you.

303. My goomar's mother, we were in the hospital all night.

304. T.I.A. That's a small stroke.

305. She lost use of her left hand.

306. It's coming back now, but I didn't eat, I didn't sleep...

307. Did you get laid?

308. Yeah.

309. We should've known right then,

310. when he was MIA from that sit-down.

311. That's all the time you need.

312. When they flip somebody,

313. they try to get him back on the street right away.

314. That very day.

315. So you don't have time to think.

316. Sil, what are you getting your goomar for Christmas?

317. Cash.

318. That's the only thing that shuts her up

319. about being alone over the holidays.

320. Michelle likes ice.

321. I'm getting a piece from a Jew in the city.

322. T., what are you getting your new goomar?

323. She did me a favor.

324. She went to Morocco over the holidays.

325. On her own? She paid for it?

326. - Yeah. - She went to Morocco?

327. Who is she, Bada Bing Crosby?

328. No, she's not one of those girls.

329. She's got a real job.

330. She sells Mercedes.

331. Smart, gorgeous.

332. - Too good to be true. - Speaking of which,

333. who's that piece of ass?

334. Oh, Marone, look who it is.

335. It's the miracle of Christmas.

336. Next, the blind will see and the lame will walk.

337. So, how is everything here so far tonight?

338. Much better now that we've cast our glims on you, sweetheart.

339. How you doing, 'Mainie?

340. Fine, Tony-oni.

341. Listen, I thought you'd wanna know.

342. Two guys over there, at that table...

343. - Yeah? - I think they're FBI.

344. I'm kidding.

345. I'm kidding, enjoy.

346. These are ready.

347. You are a hypocrite.

348. That's what you are.

349. You vilify a man behind his back,

350. and then you smile in his face.

351. Something's gotta keep the customers coming back,

352. and it's not gonna be your mooshata raviolis lately.

353. Hey.

354. Charmaine.

355. Sometimes we're forced to work the same shift.

356. Your wife,

357. her ass may be improved, Artie, but...

358. Hey, hey, come on, Sil.

359. She's over here joking about the FBI.

360. Since when is that funny?

361. Yeah?

362. No, wait, wait, hold on a minute.

363. Go ahead.

364. All right, great.

365. Yeah.

366. Merry Christmas to you too.

367. Mr. Valdez?

368. That's me.

369. I know you.

370. You look like maybe someone. I don't know.

371. He's the designated drive.

372. Me? No, you the "desig-ig-nate" drive.

373. No, no, no, no. You, you, it's you.

374. No. You.

375. Airport Ramada, right?

376. - Yeah. - Yeah, let's go, come on.

377. How was dinner?

378. Good.

379. Was Charmaine there?

380. Yep.

381. She looks good, doesn't she?

382. What are you, disappointed?

383. Her husband dumped her.

384. You thought she was gonna look like a krull?

385. A krull?

386. A crone, a troll.

387. I don't know.

388. Holiday traffic.

389. My head is clanging like a bell.

390. I got the scooter.

391. Yay!

392. Hello, Bedford Falls!

393. Oh, Jesus.

394. Merry Christmas!

395. Enough already.

396. Merry Christmas, George!

397. Santa.

398. We still haven't got one.

399. You wanna do it?

400. Me? What do I know about it?

401. I don't have kids.

402. You don't have to. Santa doesn't have any kids.

403. Yeah, that's strange

404. that Mr. and Mrs. Claus didn't have kids of their own.

405. Probably why they got into it in the first place.

406. I used to think the elves were their kids.

407. - They were running a sweatshop over there. - There was something on TV.

408. The original elves were ugly,

409. traveled with Santa to throw bad kids a beating,

410. and he gave the good ones toys.

411. The fucking Grinch.

412. Maybe that's where they got the idea.

413. That fucking Dr. Seuss ripped it off.

414. That Grinch, man, that's where the money is.

415. A couple hundred mil.

416. Put Jim Carrey in the motherfucker.

417. Tony.

418. - Hey! - Oh!

419. I got stuff for the party.

420. Toys from me and Junior.

421. They're not wrapped,

422. but this way they can see what they're getting.

423. Tell Junior thank you.

424. What?

425. Ho-fucking-ho.

426. You're right.

427. What are you talking about?

428. You wanna play Santa Claus at the party this year?

429. No, I can't do that.

430. Why not?

431. I don't know. I don't know how.

432. What's to know?

433. You ask them what they want for Christmas,

434. you give them a nice toy, and that's the end of it.

435. No, not me. I can't.

436. - Yes, you can. - I can't.

437. - Why not? - I'm shy.

438. The boss of this family told you you're gonna be Santa Claus.

439. You're Santa Claus.

440. So shut the fuck up about it.

441. A strange and macabre Christmas story.

442. Another sad incidence of continuing violence

443. against livery drivers.

444. In downtown Newark, police were called to the scene

445. of what appeared to be a Christmas prank gone awry.

446. Livery driver Igor Parnasky

447. was found trapped under Santa's sleigh,

448. and severely beaten inside the window display

449. at Curran's Sporting Goods.

450. The Russian émigré also suffered injuries

451. from broken glass.

452. From his description of his assailants,

453. police are questioning members of a marauding youth gang.

454. Oh, my God.

455. Oh.

456. Reporting live from downtown Newark...

457. Oh.

458. Aaron?

459. Honey? Honey?

460. Yeah?

461. I-I think I know what's missing from the song.

462. It's the brother concept.

463. He ain't heavy?

464. No, I mean, not exactly.

465. Maybe we can try to get something down.

466. Jan, you're crying.

467. Sometimes we really don't see our loved ones.

468. Hi.

469. What you doing?

470. Just enjoying the tree.

471. I love this time of year.

472. Me too.

473. You're home early.

474. Hunter went into the city with Hadley.

475. So where's Jackie tonight?

476. He had to go visit a friend of his in the hospital.

477. - Oh, no. Who? - Someone from school.

478. They think it's appendicitis.

479. Oh, my God.

480. So you and Jackie are getting pretty close, huh?

481. Well, that new angel looks really great.

482. That's what he said.

483. Wanna see 50 G's?

484. Holy shit.

485. What is that, sapphires?

486. Yeah.

487. My wife better like it.

488. Wild Turkey, neat.

489. Right.

490. It's beautiful.

491. How you doing?

492. Fine. How are you?

493. Carmela was right.

494. You look great.

495. Thank you.

496. I'm trying to give you a compliment.

497. Well, don't.

498. What's your fucking problem?

499. All these years, I sat here and I kept my mouth shut.

500. I didn't want you and your boys coming in here.

501. And look what happened.

502. Look what you've done to my husband.

503. Artie? I'm trying to help him.

504. Yeah, well, good luck, because he's a frigging mess.

505. Get the fuck outta here.

506. Where to?

507. Who gives a shit?

508. A new joint just opened on 46th.

509. I been meaning to check out the competition.

510. Come on.

511. Oh, wow.

512. What?

513. - Tony. - Hey.

514. What's going on?

515. What, are you getting a little loving?

516. It's not what you think.

517. Come on.

518. Come on, it's all right.

519. I just wanna talk to you.

520. Come on.

521. It's a bachelor party. My frat brothers.

522. - I didn't do anything! - Shut up!

523. Put your hands up. Put your hands up!

524. - No. Please. - Come on. Put your hands up.

525. - No. - Come on, you fuck!

526. You fucking pussy piece of shit.

527. All I did was tell your old man what a good kid you are,

528. and all you do is fucking hurt me.

529. I'm sorry!

530. I'm sorry.

531. I'm sorry.

532. What's this?

533. Huh?

534. Nice.

535. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

536. You bottomed out.

537. What do you mean?

538. You bottomed out.

539. I wish I could get up at 11:30 every morning

540. after being out all night, God knows where.

541. Stop with the pots and pans.

542. Where were you last night?

543. Nowhere. I wasn't anywhere.

544. I was the monogamy poster boy, swear to God.

545. Oh, please.

546. Well, I break up with the so-called Russian whore,

547. I'm towing the line, and this is the thanks I get.

548. Yeah? What about Charmaine?

549. Charmaine?

550. Mm-hmm, I know all about you.

551. What?

552. I didn't do anything.

553. Yeah, you did in high school.

554. - High school? - Don't try to deny it.

555. Oh, okay.

556. High school, okay.

557. Her husband dumps her and she never looked so good?

558. You gotta ask yourself why.

559. I didn't do nothin'.

560. I didn't do nothin'!

561. It's too late, all right?

562. I don't believe anything you say.

563. My wife had her doubts about Jackie Jr.,

564. and all along I kept defending the little two-faced prick.

565. Do you feel responsible for their relationship?

566. Well, Meadow thinks she'd still going out with the Oreo cookie

567. if it wasn't for me.

568. Well, that's true, isn't it?

569. Look, the question is,

570. what am I gonna do about Jackie?

571. Should I tell my wife?

572. And Meadow, Jesus, she's...

573. It'd break her heart if she knew.

574. On another subject,

575. I was thinking about

576. what we were talking about last time you were here.

577. You know, your friend who was working

578. for the federal government?

579. Granted, I get most of my information

580. from the movies and Bill Kurtis.

581. But I was thinking...

582. They're around the block out there.

583. Biggest one yet.

584. Where's the frigging beard?

585. I saw it in the box.

586. It's gotta be there.

587. Even without padding,

588. the suit's too small on this fatso.

589. You motherfucker.

590. What, Ton'?

591. He was wearing a wire.

592. When he came to the party,

593. he already had the suit on.

594. Alvin! Alvin!

595. Okay!

596. Hey, hey, look at this.

597. Oh!

598. You been walking around like that?

599. Boosting Salvation Army kettles now.

600. Kevin, go make me a sandwich.

601. Okay, Dad.

602. He's a method actor.

603. Getting into character, like Al.

604. Ah.

605. It was you, Fredo.

606. Look at that.

607. - Don't even need a pillow. - Hey!

608. Watch the suit!

609. He can't make a joke?

610. What are you, Mr. Sensitive over here?

611. Chrissy, ashtrays.

612. Tony, this problem

613. with the red-tag garbage dumping in Paden City?

614. Fucking Christmas,

615. he wants to talk about medical waste?

616. I just want to double-check that the way is paved for us

617. to go down there, we reached out to EPA guy like we told Barone.

618. That reminds me, Tony, Dick called this morning.

619. I'm fucking talking, and stop fucking interrupting!

620. Fuck is wrong with you?

621. Fuck you!

622. Hey, hey, hey! Take it easy! Take it easy!

623. - Ton', Ton', Ton'. - What's the matter with you?

624. What the fuck with you?

625. Jesus Christ.

626. Oh, it's as cold as your sister's tit out there.

627. You should see the crowd of little people.

628. Jackie Jr., how you doing, huh?

629. You look great.

630. Hey, Jackie, tell them what you told me in the car

631. on the way over here.

632. Come on, the capital of Canada.

633. - Come on, Dad. - The kid's got it up here.

634. All right, give me your coat, come on.

635. Hey, Chrissy,

636. let them in for chrissake.

637. One, two, three, four,

638. open up the stupid door!

639. Go see Santa.

640. Right this way.

641. Ho, ho, ho, ho!

642. Merry Christmas!

643. Come on in, children.

644. Don't be afraid. Come on, sweetheart.

645. Come sit on Santa's lap.

646. Oh! Ho, ho, ho.

647. Have you been a good girl?

648. What do you want for Christmas?

649. I want a new doll and a kitchen.

650. You want a new doll and a kitchen.

651. Here's something, Dad.

652. I mean, Santa.

653. My little elf here's got a little snow on the brain.

654. He called me Dad. You like it?

655. Big enough to be your sister.

656. Merry Christmas.

657. Thank you, Santa.

658. Oh, how cute.

659. Who's next?

660. Come on, don't be shy.

661. Ho, ho, ho!

662. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

663. Next in line.

664. We got a lotta people to go. Come on.

665. What do you want?

666. Merry Christmas.

667. Wait a minute.

668. I gotta give you a present. Here.

669. Come on, single file over here.

670. Come on, next one in line.

671. It would kill him to say "ho, ho, ho"?

672. You were just here.

673. - I was not. - Yeah, you were.

674. You were on my lap five minutes ago.

675. - No, I wasn't. - Yes, you were.

676. Now you're going on Santa's list and you're getting nothing!

677. Fuck you, Santa!

678. Oh! Hey!

679. Gregorio!

680. How dare you talk that way to Santa.

681. He never talks that way at home.

682. - That's all right. - Hey, my friend,

683. you don't talk that way to Santa.

684. Get back there. Tell Santa you're sorry.

685. Go on.

686. I'm sorry, Santa.

687. That's better.

688. I don't care, you are punished.

689. What the hell's wrong with you, Bobby?

690. - You got kids of your own. - I didn't wanna do this.

691. Shyness is a curse.

692. Why don't you lighten up a little bit? It's Christmas.

693. Hey, come here, honey.

694. Don't be scared of Santa.

695. Come on, there you go.

696. Next year, he goes to Santa school.

697. Fucking ho-hum, you ask me.

698. I don't miss Pussy's fake fucking good cheer,

699. tell you the truth.

700. Let him stay with the fish.

701. Why'd you go to that psychic last year,

702. since you don't dwell on this shit?

703. That was different.

704. Chrissy was shot.

705. That was a paranormal event.

706. What the fuck are you talking about?

707. That psychic told you those guys were haunting you.

708. The guys that you...

709. Pussy, I loved that cocksucker like a brother,

710. and he fucked me in the ass.

711. Well, that's the difference between Puss and the others.

712. Him, you loved.

713. The world don't run on love.

714. He was a rat bastard.

715. One thing you got to admit,

716. he made a great Santa Claus.

717. He did.

718. In the end, fuck Santa Claus.

719. - Another sweater. - That's from Nana,

720. and you're gonna tell her how much you like it.

721. Who could that be so early?

722. Let me see. Maybe it'll fit me.

723. It's not bad. Better than last year.

724. Jackie Jr. Hi.

725. Merry Christmas.

726. Merry Christmas, Aunt Carm.

727. It's okay if I come in?

728. We're just opening our presents.

729. Merry Christmas, Ton'.

730. Good morning.

731. Merry Christmas.

732. These are from Mom, for everybody.

733. This is for you.

734. Wow, thank you.

735. Let me get your present.

736. No, you can open yours first if you want.

737. Okay.

738. This is so beautiful, Jackie.

739. Thank you.

740. There's something on the back.

741. "To M.S., from J.A.

742. I will always be true."

743. Jackie.

744. Be right back.

745. Okay.

746. Here, let me see that.

747. Can I talk to you?

748. I flunked out of Rutgers.

749. I'm sorry.

750. I know I fucked up.

751. I got distracted this year by things.

752. Ralph said I was probably wasting my time

753. - if I didn't have the aptitude. - Ralph?

754. You know, he didn't go to school,

755. and look at the money he was making when he was my age.

756. And the piece, my car got broken into a couple of times

757. at the frat house, so Ralph gave it to me.

758. It was fucking stupid. I know it.

759. But, Tony, I'm gonna be all right now.

760. I'm gonna design men's suits.

761. Meadow thinks I should go to the Fashion Institute.

762. I really think I could be good if I applied myself.

763. You bullshit me and you betray my daughter.

764. I'm sorry.

765. I'm sorry.

766. Go back inside.

767. I'm gonna be frank on this.

768. I haven't decided what to do with you.

769. Coming through!

770. You can't stay?

771. I still have to give you your present.

772. I'm driving Mom up to the home to see Grandma.

773. Okay.

774. Thank you for my beautiful necklace.

775. Merry Christmas.

776. Merry Christmas.

777. Go be with your family and open your presents.

778. Love you.

779. Oh, my God!

780. - Let me see, Mom. - Look at this.

781. Wow. Wow.

782. Mm.

783. Well...

784. this is gonna seem really stupid after that,

785. but it's your turn, Dad.

786. This is for you.

787. I didn't think you were gonna get me anything,

788. you know, after...

789. It's Christmas.

790. Thank you.

791. Come on, open it.

792. What is it?

793. I don't know.

794. Big Mouth Billy Bass. What is that?

795. Oh, those are good.

796. Wait till you see what it does.

797. What does it do?

798. You'll see.

799. Now, I know I give you a lot of stuff, Dad.

800. I don't know what you do with it, but...

801. I want to see this on your desk.

802. Promise?

803. Yeah.

804. Oh, my God. That is hilarious.

805. Wait, Mom.

806. What a riot.

807. It's cute.

808. Thanks, honey.