1. Oh, my God.
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2. What'd you freak out for?
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3. Holy shit.
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4. Hey Fac', how you doing?
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5. How's it goin'?
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6. How you doin'?
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7. Adriana, this is my cousin
Gregory, the ambulance chaser.
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8. Nice to meet you.
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9. This is my fiancee, Amy Safir.
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10. Pleasure, Christopher,
to finally meet you in person.
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11. Greg's always giving me updates
on his New York cousin.
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12. We're from Jersey.
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13. My apologies,
that's the red- eye talking.
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14. Your earrings are so excellent.
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15. Thank you.
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16. How was your flight?
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17. Fine, good.
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18. Drink, drink, drink!
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19. Morgan Stanley's night out.
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20. Christopher said you're
here shooting a movie.
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21. That must be so interesting.
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22. This is the first project
I brought in to jon.
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23. Who's jon?
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24. Jon Favreau, she's head
of his development.
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25. I told you that.
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26. You told me Tarrantino.
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27. I worked for Quentin,
he's still a friend.
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28. Anyway, Favreau
snapped her right up.
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29. That movie he did, "swingers".
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30. Vince Vaughn is so cute.
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31. So Christopher,
how goes the screenplay?
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32. It's one of the best
I've ever read.
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33. Hey, easy, okay?
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34. What's he like in person?
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35. Incredibly funny, smart,
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36. jon's totally accessible.
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37. You guys should come
visit the set.
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38. No, I meant Vince Vaughn.
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39. Great, great, a friend.
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40. So, when do we get
to read this opus?
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41. Mob theme stories
are always hot.
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42. You should've learned
to keep your mouth shut.
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43. What do you do, Adriana?
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44. Right now I'm in
the food service industry.
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45. Christopher!
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46. You, get up.
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47. Who, me?
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48. Hey, bridge and tunnel boy,
chill out.
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49. Hey, guys, let's go
to Tribeca grill.
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50. It's cooler, it's better.
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51. Why are we leaving?
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52. Just do it.
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53. She seemed so down to earth
for a Hollywood person.
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54. What's with those clothes?
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55. She in the fucking
"Addams family"?
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56. That's Prada!
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57. If I was Greg,
I wouldn't allow it.
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58. Look at you,
you look like a fucking woman,
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59. not a bellhop.
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60. Jon Favreau, he's great!
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61. He's also a writer, you
should show him your script.
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62. "Swingers"?
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63. He can suck my dick,
that swings, too.
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64. That acting class really
rubbed you the wrong way.
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65. I love movies, but I just
want to be a player.
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66. I don't want to fuck around
with all this other shit.
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67. So?
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68. Be a player.
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69. We'll go to the set,
she invited us!
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70. Slip him your script.
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71. That's what they call it,
slipping the script.
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72. Who knows...
You know?
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73. Would it be so friggin'
horrible to attend a premier?
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74. I don't even have the thing.
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75. I threw it away.
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76. What?
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77. You have a copy?
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78. Adriana, I told you,
I'm not interested.
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79. I believe in you.
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80. It wasn't my fault!
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81. You stole my car.
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82. Where's the trust
in this house?
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83. When I get confirmed
I'm gonna be a man.
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84. So how come I can't drive?
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85. You really want
to get into this?
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86. Who was that man that we had
to pick up at camp last year
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87. for bed wetting?
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88. That was the year before last.
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89. You could have
killed those girls.
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90. That would've been interesting.
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91. What?
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92. What did you just say?
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93. Death just shows the ultimate
absurdity of life.
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94. What is this?
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95. Are you trying to get me
to lose my temper?
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96. 'Cause I'm about to put you
through that goddamn window.
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97. See?
That's what I mean.
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98. Life is absurd.
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99. Don't say that!
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100. God forgive you!
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101. There is no God.
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102. Hey!
Hey!
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103. Where is this coming from?
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104. They teach you this crap
at school?
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105. Is this this new
English teacher, Mr. Clark?
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106. Where is he from?
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107. Answer me!
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108. Oberlin.
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109. Want him to read something
other than "hustler"?
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110. Hello, he got assigned
"the stranger".
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111. You want him to be
an educated person?
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112. What do you think education is?
You just make more money?
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113. This is education.
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114. Do you ever think, like,
why were we born?
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115. Madame de stael said,
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116. "in life one must choose
before boredom and suffering."
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117. Go to your room.
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118. No, I'm serious.
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119. Why were we born?
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120. We were born because of
Adam and Eve, that's why.
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121. Now go upstairs
and do your math.
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122. Algebra?
That's the most boring.
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123. Your other choice is suffering.
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124. You want to start now?
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125. Move your ass!
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126. Jesus Christ, let me think.
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127. You wake me up,
my head's all cobwebs.
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128. Wyczchuk, wyczchuk...
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129. Waldemar wyczchuk.
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130. You had lobster fra diavolo
with him in Atlantic city
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131. on the 14th of this month.
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132. He got blown up?
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133. Fuck.
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134. We're not necessarily trying
to pin this on soprano
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135. or anybody in your crew, sal.
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136. We're drawing no conclusions.
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137. But what do you got for me?
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138. If I had
some coffee...
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139. cut the the quips!
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140. Tell me about the merger talks.
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141. What do you want me to say?
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142. Philadelphia's been putting
pressure on the shy business?
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143. That's been going on since
Moses wore short pants.
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144. Tony's still resisting
the Philly overtures?
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145. Sometimes, puss',
you don't act like a guy
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146. that's facing 30 to life
for selling h.
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147. Don't get heavy with me.
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148. You come to my house because
somebody's leaning on your ass?
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149. 8:00 in the morning
you come to my house?
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150. You know what this looks like?
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151. I'm doing all I can
to help you guys.
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152. One time Tony bought
a pool table from wyczchuk.
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153. So he's sitting there
and he asks me,
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154. "if there's no God,
why was I born?"
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155. He tells me
he's got no purpose.
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156. How'd you answer him?
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157. I told him it cost about 150
grand to bring him up so far,
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158. so if he's got no purpose
I want a fucking refund.
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159. Are you angry with Anthony Jr.
about the car?
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160. You can't put shit
back on the donkey.
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161. Boys will be boys.
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162. It's this other crap,
that's not normal.
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163. Adolescent angst
is very normal.
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164. You never went through it?
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165. You think my mother and father
are gonna stand for that shit?
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166. How is your mother?
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167. She's dead to me.
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168. And how's Anthony Jr.
been taking it?
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169. What?
About the family?
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170. About your nonrelationship
with his grandmother.
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171. How's he supposed to
understand that?
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172. And in general,
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173. the whole strain of the current
atmosphere in your household?
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174. But that don't give him
the right to mouth off.
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175. Sounds to me like Anthony Jr.
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176. May have stumbled
onto existentialism.
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177. Fucking Internet.
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178. No, it's a European philosophy.
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179. After world war ii,
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180. people were disillusioned
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181. by the sheer weight
of the horrors.
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182. That's when
the whole idea took root
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183. that there were
no absolute truths.
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184. You believe that?
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185. In your family,
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186. even motherhood
is up for debate.
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187. No, it's not,
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188. I teach him to love and respect
and appreciate his mother.
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189. What about your mother?
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190. Anthony, I think it's important
we talk about your mother
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191. and what she tried
to do to you.
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192. Don't need to.
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193. She showed her true colors,
that's all.
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194. Has Anthony Jr. heard you say
"she's dead to me"?
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195. I don't know.
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196. Don't you think
that kind of talk
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197. could lead a kid
to embrace these ideas?
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198. Oh, so, now this is my fault.
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199. When some people first realize
that they're solely responsible
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200. for their decisions,
actions, and beliefs,
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201. and that death lies
at the end of every road,
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202. they can be overcome
with intense dread.
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203. "Intense dread."
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204. A dull, aching anger
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205. that leads them to conclude
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206. that the only
absolute truth is death.
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207. I think the kid's
onto something.
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208. It's puttin' me off, way off.
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209. Okay, ready?
Ready to go?
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210. Okay, picture's up, lock it up!
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211. Ready to roll, wait.
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212. Standby to roll, quiet please!
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213. Roll sound!
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214. Camera!
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215. Smoke out, camera's rolling!
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216. And, action!
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217. My leg, I think it's broken.
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218. Okay, cut!
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219. Alright, check the gate.
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220. Michele, can I talk to you?
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221. C'mon.
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222. Holy shit, that's...
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223. She was in "kings of comedy".
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224. And the other one, too,
I seen her.
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225. That movie my girlfriend likes
with Uma, what's her name?
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226. Jon, this is Christopher.
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227. Hey, how's it going?
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228. It's a real treat to meet you.
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229. "Swingers" kicked ass.
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230. Thanks, thank you.
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231. Thanks for coming out here,
I appreciate it, seriously.
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232. What were you doing before you
started writing for "Los Angeles"?
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233. Jon, this is Christopher.
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234. Oh, oh, I'm sorry,
I thought you...
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235. there's a guy from "Los Angeles"
magazine coming down here
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236. to do a story on my favorite
place for breakfast.
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237. But you're the guy
from Jersey, right?
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238. Yeah.
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239. Cool.
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240. Very, very cool.
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241. Michele foreman, our director,
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242. she's from Jersey,
you see her first picture?
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243. She's a director?
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244. Beautiful film,
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245. it won the audience award
at Sundance.
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246. Madonn'.
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247. It was also hilariously funny,
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248. this lesbian- romantic
screwball comedy she did.
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249. This one's much more
mainstream, it's about spies.
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250. So, anyway, we're getting ready
to shoot the last scene.
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251. This is the one where
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252. the two lesbians,
the lovers, they die.
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253. Janeane, her
character's Zephyr...
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254. that's her fucking name.
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255. Garofalo!
Janeane garofalo.
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256. Yeah, so she's been
chasing Gina, Sandra,
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257. all around the country.
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258. Gina?
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259. Gina Shecter from Brooklyn,
that's the character.
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260. So they end up here in soho
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261. where they just had a standoff,
they shot each other.
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262. Picture's up, let's lock it up!
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263. Quiet please!
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264. Excuse me.
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265. And smoke!
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266. Standby, to roll, quiet please!
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267. And roll sound!
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268. The silencers underscore their
voiceless place in society.
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269. We're rolling!
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270. We're rolling!
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271. Camera's rolling!
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272. Spin the wheel!
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273. And action!
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274. I never had an eggcream.
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275. They're not coming
for either one of us.
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276. You live your
whole life in a place
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277. and never taste the thing
it's famous for.
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278. Couldn't hear the fucking shots
with this thing.
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279. There's a place on St. mark's...
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280. it's over, you bitch.
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281. Don't do it.
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282. Michele!
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283. Cut, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.
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284. Can we cut for a second?
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285. Are we really
gonna say "bitch"?
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286. You don't like "bitch"?
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287. We discussed this,
we're losing light.
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288. It's not that I don't like it.
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289. It's just, it's the last thing
my lover says to me?
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290. I don't find it
particularly interesting.
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291. You're thinking you should
shoot her again?
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292. No, wait a minute...
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293. I don't think sheeting's
right in this case.
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294. Your character's strength
is her passivity.
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295. Whose passivity?
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296. Zephyr.
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297. In this case.
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298. In this case.
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299. I think he's right, janeane.
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300. Obviously, throughout
the rest of the piece,
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301. you got testes to burn.
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302. Is there anything
other than "bitch"?
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303. Buchiach.
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304. What?
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305. Let that one call
that one "buchiach".
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306. That sounds more interesting.
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307. Bu...
what?
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308. Buchiach.
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309. If she's from Brooklyn...
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310. That sounds okay.
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311. Okay, let's roll.
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312. What does it mean?
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313. Cunt.
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314. Cunt, I like that.
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315. Okay, picture's up
, let's lock it up!
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316. Standby to roll!
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317. Roll sound!
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318. Camera's rolling!
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319. We are rolling!
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320. Smoke!
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321. We're rolling!
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322. Smoke out!
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323. And action!
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324. What's going on with you?
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325. Nothing.
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326. "Nothing."
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327. You know, that "no God" shit,
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328. that upset your mother
very much.
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329. It's not "no God",
it's just God is dead.
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330. Who said that?
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331. Nitch, he's a 19th century
philosopher from Germany.
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332. Anyway, that's why
I'm not getting confirmed.
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333. Enough with that shit.
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334. Your confirmation's
this weekend
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335. and you are getting confirmed.
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336. That sucks my nut.
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337. Hey!
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338. You got a lot of balls,
you know that?
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339. You go to catholic school
and your mother wants it.
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340. What does she know?
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341. She knows that
even if God is dead,
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342. you're still gonna
kiss his ass.
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343. Hey!
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344. Hey, Joe.
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345. Hey, Chris, how's it going?
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346. Coke and a slice.
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347. It's the best pie
in north Jersey.
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348. What do you guys want?
Anything, it's taken care of.
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349. Same thing, coke and a slice.
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350. Coke and a slice.
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351. You got it.
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352. That laundromat
across the street,
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353. that's where Joe's
restaurant used to be.
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354. Willie Moretti,
that's where he bought it.
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355. Moretti was Sinatra's
guardian angel, right?
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356. Stuck his gun
in Tommy dorsey's mouth
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357. and bought Sinatra's contract
from him for a dollar.
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358. Fuck, that's so cool.
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359. That's like the inspiration
for Johnny fontaine
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360. and the studio boss in gf one, right?
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361. Right.
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362. That's the one beef
I had with "swingers".
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363. You guys patterned yourselves
after Frank and Dean,
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364. but there was like
a pussy- assness to it.
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365. I mean, it was kind of
the point of the piece...
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366. so, you brought us your script.
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367. Yeah, but...
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368. c'mon, let's see it.
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369. No, you're jon Favreau.
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370. Rocky marciano, "deep
impact", "swingers".
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371. Here's the thing.
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372. Your script is set in the world
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373. that I'm interested in
doing my next project on.
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374. A picture on the life
of crazy Joe Gallo.
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375. Joe Gallo?
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376. They already did "the gang that
couldn't shoot straight".
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377. Yeah, but I see Gallo
as this tragic figure.
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378. He was a flawed
and blinkered guy,
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379. but he wanted
to learn, to grow,
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380. to read, to paint.
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381. He had this yearning,
this hunger for...
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382. fuck your mother,
what's the word?
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383. You as Joey Gallo,
I don't see that.
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384. I'm part Italian.
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385. Vince, maybe, Vaughn.
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386. This project happens to be
a personal passion of mine.
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387. I could play Joey Gallo
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388. but I don't want to be an actor
unless I can play myself.
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389. Which is totally
understandable.
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390. Listen, ever since Amy
told me about you,
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391. I thought maybe
we could work together.
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392. You could tell me
the way shit goes down,
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393. what makes sense,
what people really say,
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394. you know what I mean?
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395. Joey Gallo, I was like three
years old when he got whacked.
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396. Yeah, but speech patterns.
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397. You saw "swingers".
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398. Whatever you think
of that motherfucker, man,
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399. it's, like, you can tell
it's extremely important to me
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400. how people really talk.
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401. Like that "buchiach" thing.
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402. How could I forget
that fucking thing?
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403. I mean, I grew up
right in queens.
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404. I guess it is a long time ago.
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405. You wouldn't be betraying
any oath thing.
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406. Holy fucking shit,
that thing is still alive?
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407. If I told you 15 years ago
that she was a piece of ass,
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408. would you believe me?
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409. What?
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410. What happened?
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411. Forget it.
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412. C'mon, man, we're just talking.
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413. Wise- guy friend of mine would
kill me if he knew I told you.
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414. This made guy, right?
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415. Had the most discriminating eye
when it comes to t&a.
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416. He's at a club one night,
this broad's all over him.
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417. And she's got
a really nice body,
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418. she's horny as hell.
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419. They step outside, they walk
over to this picnic ground.
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420. She starts blowing him
next to this swing set.
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421. He's about to shoot his load,
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422. he reaches down
to start fingering,
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423. undoes the skirt, reaches in,
Copy !req
424. grabs hold of a goddamn prick.
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425. Jesus Christ.
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426. "Crying game."
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427. This is a true story.
Copy !req
428. So my friend can't
let this story get out.
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429. He wants to humiliate the freak
as much as he was humiliated.
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430. So he gets this fucking acid,
you know, burns everything.
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431. He pours it on her arms,
on her face, everywhere,
Copy !req
432. her prick.
Copy !req
433. That's one bad motherfucker.
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434. That's how good looking
this broad used to look,
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435. had this wise- guy friend
of mine totally fooled.
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436. She had to get a glass eye.
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437. Hey, look who's here.
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438. You can't say hello
to your Uncle?
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439. Hey, Uncle pussy.
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440. Look what my little friend
did to carmela's car.
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441. What were you thinking?
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442. You got to learn to respect
the value of things.
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443. This is your own property.
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444. Here, go get a soda.
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445. The longest fucking car ride of my life.
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446. What's the matter?
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447. It's the kid,
he used to be happy- go- lucky.
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448. Now he's moody,
he questions the universe.
Copy !req
449. Like father, like son.
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450. Fuck you, I'm serious.
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451. You're his
confirmation sponsor.
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452. Do something with him.
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453. Alright, alright.
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454. But 13, 14,
they start getting broody.
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455. It's getting so I don't
want to be with him.
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456. If you gotta use a belt,
go ahead.
Copy !req
457. He's bombing out in school.
Copy !req
458. He got a "c",
three "ds" and an "f".
Copy !req
459. Look at this kid.
Copy !req
460. How you making out in school?
Copy !req
461. I got a "c",
three "ds" and an "f".
Copy !req
462. Hey.
Copy !req
463. Where you been?
Copy !req
464. I was hanging out with jon.
Copy !req
465. Izzacupo?
Copy !req
466. Favreau.
Copy !req
467. You were?
Copy !req
468. You went to the set?
Copy !req
469. Yeah.
Copy !req
470. Why didn't you call?
Copy !req
471. We were only there
for like half an hour,
Copy !req
472. then him and Amy
wanted me to give them
Copy !req
473. kind of like
a tour around Jersey.
Copy !req
474. They did?
Copy !req
475. What?
Copy !req
476. Vince Vaughn didn't
come down there.
Copy !req
477. Elbow up, Matt,
keep it straight.
Copy !req
478. Coach is having me pull more.
Copy !req
479. Fuck him.
Copy !req
480. My son don't hit
sacrifice flies.
Copy !req
481. You're up next.
Copy !req
482. Nah, I just want to want watch.
Copy !req
483. You got to snap
out of this, Anthony.
Copy !req
484. C'mon, A. J.,
it's fun.
Copy !req
485. I know, I just
don't feel like it.
Copy !req
486. Sometimes you got to do things
you don't want to.
Copy !req
487. Why?
Copy !req
488. 'Cause your parents say so.
Copy !req
489. It's part of your tradition.
Copy !req
490. Baseball's not
part of my tradition.
Copy !req
491. It ain't?
Copy !req
492. Your dad, in high school,
Copy !req
493. was almost all- county
left field.
Copy !req
494. I'm not talking about that, I'm
talking about your confirmation here.
Copy !req
495. I don't want to get confirmed.
Copy !req
496. Why not?
Copy !req
497. Don't matter why not.
Copy !req
498. If you're looking
for a purpose in life,
Copy !req
499. doing what's right
is your purpose.
Copy !req
500. That's not what Nitch says.
Copy !req
501. Who?
Copy !req
502. Nietzsche.
Copy !req
503. Let me tell you something.
Copy !req
504. Nietzsche wound up
talking to his horse.
Copy !req
505. And I know what
you're gonna tell me.
Copy !req
506. Sartre, right?
Copy !req
507. Sartre was a fucking fraud.
Copy !req
508. He copped it all
from husserl and heidegger.
Copy !req
509. Go on.
Copy !req
510. You should start
at the beginning.
Copy !req
511. Take a look at kierkegaard.
Copy !req
512. Whatever.
Copy !req
513. Kierkegaard said,"every duty
is essentially duty to God."
Copy !req
514. "Nigga be a leader,
not a follower."
Copy !req
515. What?
Copy !req
516. Master p said that.
Copy !req
517. You still listen to rap?
Copy !req
518. Why?
Copy !req
519. It's just all about
marketing now.
Copy !req
520. Hi, welcome to soho grand.
Copy !req
521. I'm here to see jon Favreau.
Copy !req
522. One moment, please.
Copy !req
523. Whom may I say is calling?
Copy !req
524. Jerry from Newark,
he's expecting me.
Copy !req
525. I'm sorry, sir, Mr. Favreau
requested not to be disturbed.
Copy !req
526. Tell him his 2:00 pm
is waiting.
Copy !req
527. He has his telephone programmed
so as to not be disturbed.
Copy !req
528. It's 2:00 in
the fucking afternoon.
Copy !req
529. Would you care
to leave a message?
Copy !req
530. Would you you see if
Amy Safir is in?
Copy !req
531. Hey.
Copy !req
532. What you doing here?
Copy !req
533. I was supposed to be meeting
jon to discuss my script
Copy !req
534. but now he's got
the "do not disturb" on.
Copy !req
535. Yeah, shooting ran late,
we didn't wrap till 5:30.
Copy !req
536. C'mon in.
Copy !req
537. I brought him Jersey's
best sangweech,
Copy !req
538. fucking best in the world.
Copy !req
539. That was very nice.
Copy !req
540. You want it?
Copy !req
541. Oh, no thanks,
I brushed my teeth.
Copy !req
542. Here, have a seat.
Copy !req
543. You want some coffee?
Copy !req
544. No, I can't stay,
I got business to take care of.
Copy !req
545. If they ever knew
I was into this.
Copy !req
546. What I'm saying is...
Copy !req
547. This kind of thing is
unacceptable where I come from.
Copy !req
548. Do you know if he read
my script yet?
Copy !req
549. I have your script.
Copy !req
550. What?
Copy !req
551. Jon asked me to give it
an official read.
Copy !req
552. Don't take it personally,
it's his process.
Copy !req
553. Billy Bob wrote something
he wanted to do with jon
Copy !req
554. and jon had me read it first.
Copy !req
555. Hello.
Copy !req
556. Hey, honey, your cousin's here.
Copy !req
557. Yeah, that's right,
the screenwriter.
Copy !req
558. Okay, I will.
Copy !req
559. Gregory says,
"go fuck yourself".
Copy !req
560. Union square cafe?
Okay.
Copy !req
561. Alright, I'll
see you there, bye.
Copy !req
562. What did you think about it?
Copy !req
563. About what?
Copy !req
564. My script.
Copy !req
565. I love movies,
I started with the dialogue,
Copy !req
566. but then you gotta
find the conflict
Copy !req
567. and tell the story
in picture arcs.
Copy !req
568. I think it's...
it's got some real heart.
Copy !req
569. Some good raw emotion in it.
Copy !req
570. You should probably
try and finish it.
Copy !req
571. Yeah, I hit a fucking wall.
Copy !req
572. Third act shit.
Copy !req
573. Vicki king, in "21 days
to how to write a movie in",
Copy !req
574. she says that's not uncommon.
Copy !req
575. These aren't third act problems,
they're in the second act.
Copy !req
576. Get the fuck out of here.
Copy !req
577. See, you ended right here
in the middle of page 83.
Copy !req
578. Yeah, this sentence
could've gone either way.
Copy !req
579. See...
When Frankie says,
Copy !req
580. "I don't know whether
to shit or go blind",
Copy !req
581. he's at a crossroads,
he doesn't know.
Copy !req
582. That's an expression, right?
Copy !req
583. Like a joke,
"shit or go blind".
Copy !req
584. Well, no, 'cause later on
Copy !req
585. his father gets
that cancer of the eye.
Copy !req
586. What do they call that,
glaucoma?
Copy !req
587. Whatever the fuck,
runs in the family.
Copy !req
588. They have to get him
a guide dog.
Copy !req
589. Oh.
Copy !req
590. But the third act
starts at page 90.
Copy !req
591. I'm not in the third
fucking act yet.
Copy !req
592. You're inciting incident
doesn't happen till page 12,
Copy !req
593. it should be on page three.
Copy !req
594. I knew that arc shit
fucked me up.
Copy !req
595. I tried making it all these
three dimensions like she said.
Copy !req
596. Here, sit, I'll show you.
Copy !req
597. Okay.
Copy !req
598. See, I was thinking...
Copy !req
599. If you take the scene
where rocco
Copy !req
600. is fucking the two
Asian strippers.
Copy !req
601. That's a plot point.
Copy !req
602. I know, I know.
Copy !req
603. But my question is,
what's at stake?
Copy !req
604. The jeopardy's unclear.
Copy !req
605. What jeopardy?
Copy !req
606. There's a seven part
hierarchy of human needs
Copy !req
607. that explains and
clarifies what drives us.
Copy !req
608. Starting with the
basic needs like food
Copy !req
609. and water.
Copy !req
610. So you like my script?
Copy !req
611. It's very good, Christopher.
Copy !req
612. You want me to tell you
what all seven are?
Copy !req
613. Seven what?
Copy !req
614. The human needs.
Copy !req
615. Yeah.
Copy !req
616. Survival.
Copy !req
617. Yeah.
Copy !req
618. Safety and security.
Copy !req
619. Yeah.
Copy !req
620. The need to understand.
Copy !req
621. Hi grandma.
Copy !req
622. Grandma?
Copy !req
623. Who is it?
Copy !req
624. You woke me.
Copy !req
625. It's me, Anthony Jr.
Copy !req
626. I didn't know I had a grandson.
Copy !req
627. I miss you.
Copy !req
628. Yeah, you should.
Copy !req
629. You never come see me.
Copy !req
630. I've been busy.
Copy !req
631. Everybody's busy.
Copy !req
632. And don't lie to me.
Copy !req
633. I know your father forbids
your coming down here.
Copy !req
634. He doesn't, honest.
Copy !req
635. He just doesn't want us to
talk about you in the house.
Copy !req
636. You can go shit in his hat.
Copy !req
637. He's mad at me right now.
Copy !req
638. I shouldn't use
that kind of talk.
Copy !req
639. Don't let me ever catch you
talking that way.
Copy !req
640. Now what did you do bad?
Copy !req
641. My dad doesn't
like my attitude.
Copy !req
642. So Uncle pussy said that
I should come talk to you
Copy !req
643. because you're old and
have wisdom and stuff.
Copy !req
644. His mother's another one.
Copy !req
645. Well, what'd you do?
Copy !req
646. I took mom's car out of
the garage and it got wrecked.
Copy !req
647. You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
Copy !req
648. Was it bad?
Copy !req
649. Uncle pussy already fixed it.
Copy !req
650. Did you wear your safety belt?
Copy !req
651. Yeah.
Copy !req
652. Because there was an article
in the paper the other day
Copy !req
653. about a bunch
of teen- agers
Copy !req
654. from out near
the Delaware water gap.
Copy !req
655. They overcrowded their car,
it hit a tree,
Copy !req
656. and it incinerated.
Copy !req
657. And they got trapped.
Copy !req
658. People could hear'em screaming,
they couldn't get out.
Copy !req
659. The safety belts did it,
buckled them in.
Copy !req
660. See, that's what I mean.
Copy !req
661. What's the purpose?
Copy !req
662. Of what?
Copy !req
663. Being...
Here on our planet.
Copy !req
664. Earth.
Copy !req
665. Those kids are dead meat.
Copy !req
666. What's the use?
Copy !req
667. What's the purpose?
Copy !req
668. Why does everything
have to have a purpose?
Copy !req
669. The world is a jungle.
Copy !req
670. If you want my advice, Anthony,
Copy !req
671. don't expect happiness,
you won't get it,
Copy !req
672. people let you down.
Copy !req
673. And I'm not naming any names,
Copy !req
674. but in the end,
you die in your own arms.
Copy !req
675. You mean alone?
Copy !req
676. It's all a big nothing.
Copy !req
677. What what makes you think
you're so special?
Copy !req
678. Guess I won't order us
any espresso.
Copy !req
679. I took an acting class once.
Copy !req
680. Oh, yeah?
How'd that go for you?
Copy !req
681. But I didn't need it.
Copy !req
682. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
683. I figured out
as far as movies go,
Copy !req
684. I want to be a player,
not an actor.
Copy !req
685. Smart man, like Bugsy.
Copy !req
686. That was another thing that
kind of blew about "swingers".
Copy !req
687. The acting?
Copy !req
688. You know what's
good fucking acting?
Copy !req
689. Hanks, "private Ryan".
Copy !req
690. "Earn it."
Copy !req
691. It's kind of unfair to compare the two.
Copy !req
692. One's about young soldiers dying
on the beach at normandy,
Copy !req
693. the other one's about young guy's
lookin' for blow jobs in Vegas.
Copy !req
694. Well, you made the movie.
Copy !req
695. So...
Copy !req
696. Listen...
Copy !req
697. You mind if
I ask you something?
Copy !req
698. You strapped right now?
Copy !req
699. Strapped, huh?
Copy !req
700. Yeah.
Copy !req
701. Fuck.
Copy !req
702. Jesus fucking Christ!
Copy !req
703. Watch out, man.
Copy !req
704. Holy fuck.
Copy !req
705. Can I ask you something else?
Copy !req
706. That's what I'm here for, jon.
Copy !req
707. It will not leave this room,
I swear to you.
Copy !req
708. Have you ever...?
Copy !req
709. Have I ever what?
Copy !req
710. C'mon, you know.
Copy !req
711. No, what?
Copy !req
712. I'm not gonna answer
unless you ask.
Copy !req
713. That's cool, man, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
714. No, c'mon, you can ask me.
Copy !req
715. No, it's cool.
Copy !req
716. Oh, c'mon.
Copy !req
717. C'mon, rocky, c'mon, rocky!
Copy !req
718. C'mon, ask me.
Copy !req
719. Did I what, did I what?
Copy !req
720. Have I ever what?
Copy !req
721. It's cool, just take it back.
Copy !req
722. What, this?
Copy !req
723. I think the safety's on.
Copy !req
724. Here we go, you're money.
Copy !req
725. Did I ever what,
did I ever what?
Copy !req
726. What?
Copy !req
727. That's not cool, man.
Copy !req
728. I got dialogue tomorrow.
Copy !req
729. If my voice gets scratchy,
it's not cool.
Copy !req
730. What'd you think of my script?
Copy !req
731. Well...
Copy !req
732. You know, like, Frankie?
Copy !req
733. I know Frankie, he's my
fucking leading man.
Copy !req
734. He's...
Copy !req
735. He's kind of like
a contradictory character.
Copy !req
736. In a good way,
you know, like complex.
Copy !req
737. You think he should wear
those taps on his shoes?
Copy !req
738. That's the question I was gonna ask you.
Copy !req
739. They sound cool,
they're his trademark.
Copy !req
740. But in the hit against rocco,
Copy !req
741. somebody's gonna hear him
walking on the roof.
Copy !req
742. That's a problem.
Copy !req
743. What I was thinking was,
Copy !req
744. in this script,
in all scripts, really,
Copy !req
745. it begs to show more
of the author in it.
Copy !req
746. Your life, your vision.
Copy !req
747. The roof is soft tar!
Copy !req
748. That'll work.
Copy !req
749. The roof is soft tar!
Copy !req
750. Okay.
Copy !req
751. And the father could, you know,
Copy !req
752. go blind sooner and then...
Copy !req
753. Then he could smell the tar
on Frankie's shoes,
Copy !req
754. then he knows that
his son's the killer.
Copy !req
755. Holy fuck,
that's fucking great!
Copy !req
756. Then Frankie's gotta put one
in his old man's head!
Copy !req
757. Blam, then another one, blam!
Copy !req
758. Fucking brilliant.
Copy !req
759. I spent all day with
my best friend Anna
Copy !req
760. picking out her
bridesmaids' dresses.
Copy !req
761. I still haven't found anything
for Anthony's confirmation.
Copy !req
762. With all the flowers
coming into bloom,
Copy !req
763. I would love
to be a June bride.
Copy !req
764. Here's your June groom.
Copy !req
765. C'mon.
Copy !req
766. Sorry I'm late.
Copy !req
767. Babe, I ordered you some
pasta fajioli to start.
Copy !req
768. And we're gonna get a plate
of antipast to share.
Copy !req
769. They got some
rare imported salami.
Copy !req
770. You feel okay, Christopher?
Copy !req
771. I'm fine.
Copy !req
772. We were just discussing
Anna's wedding.
Copy !req
773. What about you guys?
Copy !req
774. What about who guys?
Copy !req
775. You should make it
a double wedding.
Copy !req
776. First someone has to propose.
Copy !req
777. Has Anna chosen
her caterer yet?
Copy !req
778. She booked villa de roma.
Copy !req
779. 'Cause if you ask me,
caravaggio's is slipping.
Copy !req
780. I heard they fired
their produce guy.
Copy !req
781. Enough!
Copy !req
782. I'm so sick and tired
of hearing you people
Copy !req
783. talk about food, food, food!
Copy !req
784. That's all anybody
ever talks about
Copy !req
785. is proscuitto, cheese,
and fucking fava beans.
Copy !req
786. I'm drowning here.
Copy !req
787. Take it easy!
Copy !req
788. We're not even engaged yet!
Copy !req
789. When you're married
Copy !req
790. you'll understand the
importance of fresh produce.
Copy !req
791. Fuck the importance!
Copy !req
792. Oh!
Copy !req
793. He didn't mean that.
Copy !req
794. Fuck him.
Copy !req
795. I tried so hard
to be supportive
Copy !req
796. with his art and
getting his screenplay made.
Copy !req
797. His screenplay?
Copy !req
798. Any updates on wyczchuk?
Copy !req
799. I'm working on it,
I got my ear to the dirt.
Copy !req
800. We're wiring you
for the confirmation.
Copy !req
801. You fucking prick.
Copy !req
802. You think I'm wearing a wire
in God's house?
Copy !req
803. Actually, yes.
Copy !req
804. We don't care so much
about the service
Copy !req
805. as the party right after
at Tony's house.
Copy !req
806. You miserable motherfuck,
I'm the kid's sponsor!
Copy !req
807. Who the fuck Is sponsoring you
, motherfucker?
Copy !req
808. Excuse me, sir, I don't want
to have to tell you again
Copy !req
809. this is a smoke-
free environment.
Copy !req
810. Yo, Amy.
Copy !req
811. Hey, you.
Copy !req
812. What a nice surprise.
Copy !req
813. I was in the neighborhood.
Copy !req
814. Where were you?
Copy !req
815. I was at the big Chloe party.
Copy !req
816. I sat across
from alphonse d'amato.
Copy !req
817. God, these things
are killing me.
Copy !req
818. I was thinking we could
stop down at umberto's.
Copy !req
819. Excellent, I'll just
change real quick.
Copy !req
820. I like those.
Copy !req
821. Manolo Blahnik.
Copy !req
822. Let me see.
Copy !req
823. What, these?
Copy !req
824. Come here.
Copy !req
825. You want to see these?
Copy !req
826. Yeah.
Copy !req
827. You want to see my shoes?
Copy !req
828. You can look,
but you can't touch.
Copy !req
829. I can't touch?
Copy !req
830. So, what'd your father do?
Copy !req
831. Was he a movie producer?
Copy !req
832. He's a neurosurgeon
at cedars- sinai.
Copy !req
833. What is this,
question and answer hour?
Copy !req
834. I want to know about you.
Copy !req
835. I'm not usually an open person.
Copy !req
836. How come your old man
didn't pressure you
Copy !req
837. to become a doctor like him?
Copy !req
838. I was premed at Yale
my freshman year.
Copy !req
839. Fuckin' Yale, I swear to God,
Copy !req
840. you Jews have your own
cosa nostra
Copy !req
841. hidden in that
Ivy fucking league.
Copy !req
842. That's very funny.
Copy !req
843. Very imagistic.
Copy !req
844. Thank you.
Copy !req
845. So...
Copy !req
846. That blond guy in the club
the other night,
Copy !req
847. what'd you say to him?
Copy !req
848. That's for me to know.
Copy !req
849. You make him an offer
he couldn't refuse?
Copy !req
850. What'd you say?
Copy !req
851. Nothing.
Copy !req
852. C'mon!
Copy !req
853. I told him, "be a good boy
Copy !req
854. and I'll let this girl
blow you afterwards."
Copy !req
855. You ever been with a member
of the tribe before?
Copy !req
856. Yeah.
Copy !req
857. Really?
Copy !req
858. What do you think,
I discriminate?
Copy !req
859. I'm P. C.
Copy !req
860. No, you haven't.
Copy !req
861. So why you gotta ask
if you think you know it all?
Copy !req
862. When?
Copy !req
863. I don't fucking tell.
Copy !req
864. When?
Copy !req
865. Two nights ago.
Copy !req
866. You ever shag another
skinny- Ginny?
Copy !req
867. Oh, fuck, fuck me!
My cousin.
Copy !req
868. How are we gonna tell him?
Copy !req
869. Amy, don't do this now.
Copy !req
870. We'll figure
something out, c'mon.
Copy !req
871. I'm not a terrible person.
Copy !req
872. Amy, get back here.
Copy !req
873. Shit.
Copy !req
874. Amy...
Copy !req
875. Amy, listen.
Copy !req
876. "Long shot, a nightclub.
Copy !req
877. "Not just any nightclub.
Copy !req
878. Cut to closeup on letter "c",
then an "o", then a "p"."
Copy !req
879. You're not supposed
to be reading that.
Copy !req
880. It's a limited distribution,
numbered draft.
Copy !req
881. "Pull back to reveal
this is the Copacabana.
Copy !req
882. "Inside it's all fun and games
Copy !req
883. as mobsters wine and dine
their beautiful goomahs."
Copy !req
884. Jesus, you can see it.
Copy !req
885. You can see the movie
from the words.
Copy !req
886. This is the way
you write a fucking script.
Copy !req
887. Fucking shit!
Copy !req
888. Hey!
Copy !req
889. Hey, come out of there!
Copy !req
890. He used it.
Copy !req
891. What, just'cause he gave me
that tar- smell idea?
Copy !req
892. I could've come up with that.
Copy !req
893. What?
Copy !req
894. The friend of mine,
stone wiseguy,
Copy !req
895. jon used his
whole fucking story.
Copy !req
896. The she- male and acid,
it's all here.
Copy !req
897. This is Joey Cippolina
fucking story!
Copy !req
898. There's no character
named Cippolini.
Copy !req
899. Forget it,
he can't put that in there!
Copy !req
900. It's not the same at all.
Copy !req
901. What the fuck
you talking about?
Copy !req
902. You said your wiseguy friend
was at a swing set.
Copy !req
903. This guy gets his dick sucked
at the statue of liberty.
Copy !req
904. Don't you understand
where I come from?
Copy !req
905. I explained it how many times?
Copy !req
906. Where are you going?
Copy !req
907. We can't take it out now.
Copy !req
908. We faxed it to Oliver,
who's agreed to be attached.
Copy !req
909. It's his favorite thing.
Copy !req
910. Don't, don't, don't,
he's sleeping.
Copy !req
911. How mad could your friend get?
Copy !req
912. 12- 04 checked out.
Copy !req
913. Where is he?
Copy !req
914. This is so absurd of you
to get so bent out of shape.
Copy !req
915. Can I see your production pass?
Copy !req
916. I've been on the set before.
Copy !req
917. I still need to see your pass.
Copy !req
918. I know jon.
Copy !req
919. Look, sir,
this is a closed set.
Copy !req
920. No visitors, no press,
no friends of jon.
Copy !req
921. Hey!
Copy !req
922. Hey, buchiachia!
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923. Hi.
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924. Where's jon?
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925. He left this morning
for L. A.
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926. That fucking cocksucking
mezzofinook!
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927. What does that mean?
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928. You got more stuff
like that I could use?
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929. The confirmation
starts in an hour.
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930. Would you let me in, already?
I need to put my face on.
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931. You've been in there all week.
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932. I'm shaving!
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933. I don't want you coming in
here while I'm in here!
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934. The only goddamn mirror with
any good light is in there!
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935. Here's your fucking mirror.
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936. Jesus!
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937. Don't open that fucking door!
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938. Shit.
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939. Fuck!
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940. You fucking bitch!
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941. I'll kill you, I'll kill you!
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942. Dad!
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943. Jesus Christ,
what the fuck's with you?
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944. What are you, bleeding?
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945. Mr. Decamillo will
be with you shortly.
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946. May I get you a water?
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947. No, thank you.
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948. Wow, Robert Rodriguez
has signed on
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949. to do a remake of "viva,
zapata" with Harvey and Bob.
Copy !req
950. What is this shit?
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951. You don't return
my fucking messages?
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952. Christopher,
this is so not cool.
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953. You listen to me,
you stupid bitch!
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954. You cannot use that story.
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955. Okay, alright.
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956. This is neither the time
nor the place.
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957. You want to see me clipped?
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958. Have you touched base with jon?
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959. What the fuck?
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960. I call, I spoke to
his jerk- off assistants,
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961. she said I should
take it up with you.
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962. I'm sorry I don't even know
who that would be,
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963. that assistant.
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964. Sir, are you here to see
David Decamillo?
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965. Get the fuck out of here!
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966. Look, I'm flying
into L. A. This afternoon,
Copy !req
967. we'll touch base.
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968. You were just gonna leave?
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969. What are you talking about?
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970. My script.
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971. Christopher, based on "Mickey blue
eyes" first- weekend foreign,
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972. there's a wait- and- see attitude
toward mafi- related projects.
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973. So we're gonna have to pass.
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974. Did jon say that?
Are those his words?
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975. I speak for jon,
and if you'd let me finish,
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976. we want to assure you
that we'll certainly
Copy !req
977. take a look at
anything else you write.
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978. You're good.
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979. Christopher...
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980. fuckin' walnuts
don't lie as good as you.
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981. Amy.
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982. David's ready to see you.
Copy !req
983. Right this way.
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984. Chris, it was
wrong with us and...
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985. And Greg and all that.
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986. I really liked you.
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987. This is getting kind of
"William inge" here, isn't it?
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988. I gotta go.
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989. Fucking d- girl!
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990. Excuse me?
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991. Excuse me,
I'm a vice president!
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992. You fucking asshole!
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993. Tony!
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994. Hey!
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995. There they are.
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996. Ton', congratulations.
Copy !req
997. Thanks, thanks.
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998. Kid did real good up
at the alter, didn't he?
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999. Sabenedic'.
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1000. Were you proud of him?
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1001. Oh, yeah.
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1002. Where's Carm?
Copy !req
1003. In the kitchen.
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1004. Ange.
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1005. Some place you got here, ton'.
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1006. Hey, Richie, have a drink.
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1007. Fucking resorts international.
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1008. Hey, little brother.
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1009. The bars down the hall, Richie.
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1010. Over there.
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1011. Oh, and we count
the silverware.
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1012. Hi, I'm Janice soprano.
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1013. Janice now?
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1014. I don't know.
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1015. I heard we won't be bothered any more
from our neighbor wyczchuk.
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1016. No neighbor of mine.
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1017. What'd you hear on that?
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1018. Tony, we're out of ice in here.
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1019. Alright.
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1020. Oh, shit.
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1021. You two, get out of here.
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1022. Tony, we also
need more cokes...
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1023. what is that smell?
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1024. What kind of animal
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1025. smokes marijuana
at his own confirmation?
Copy !req
1026. I don't know.
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1027. Enough with the "I don't knows".
Copy !req
1028. What are you yelling at me for?
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1029. Even grandma says
the world has no purpose.
Copy !req
1030. Get inside right now
and join your guests.
Copy !req
1031. Be a good catholic
for 15 fucking minutes!
Copy !req
1032. Is that so much to ask?
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1033. What happened,
what's the matter?
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1034. You don't want to know.
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1035. Fucking kid's down in
the garage getting high.
Copy !req
1036. Alright, let me talk to him.
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1037. Anthony?
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1038. Would you go away?
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1039. No, I'm your sponsor.
Copy !req
1040. We need to talk,
you need to listen.
Copy !req
1041. You know, you see your parents
Copy !req
1042. as these great big dictators,
these disciplinarians.
Copy !req
1043. But I know your dad from the
time he was younger than you.
Copy !req
1044. What difference does it make?
Copy !req
1045. Listen to me, alright?
You listening?
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1046. Yeah.
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1047. I know him.
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1048. I was 16 years old,
and my kid sister Nucci,
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1049. she had the spinal meningitis,
Copy !req
1050. and she got a to a point
where she couldn't breathe.
Copy !req
1051. She was real sick?
Copy !req
1052. Yeah.
Copy !req
1053. And she was in the hospital.
Copy !req
1054. And your father,
he was the only one,
Copy !req
1055. he came with me every day.
Copy !req
1056. He sat by her bed,
he looked at her drawings.
Copy !req
1057. He watched her for me
when I had to use the John
Copy !req
1058. or get something to eat.
Copy !req
1059. I was down there waiting
in line for a hamburger
Copy !req
1060. when she passed away.
Copy !req
1061. She died?
Copy !req
1062. Yeah.
Copy !req
1063. You know what pisses
me off about my dad?
Copy !req
1064. He did all these
great things, then,
Copy !req
1065. before he was my dad.
Copy !req
1066. Now he's just an asshole.
Copy !req
1067. Hey, hey, hey, listen to me.
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1068. Your father would
catch a bullet for you.
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1069. Don't you ever forget that.
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1070. He's a stand- up guy.
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1071. I don't know.
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1072. Not to me he's not.
Copy !req
1073. Well, I do know.
Copy !req
1074. And I know what kind
of man he is.
Copy !req
1075. Don't ever forget it.
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1076. Uncle pussy, what's the matter?
Copy !req
1077. Nothing.
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1078. Now go down and enjoy
your party.
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1079. Make your parents happy.
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1080. You got your health,
your family.
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1081. Enjoy it while you can,
Copy !req
1082. while you got it
all in your hand.
Copy !req
1083. Come here.
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1084. Give Uncle pussy a hug.
Copy !req
1085. And get out of here.
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1086. Hey.
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1087. Hey, he's down there.
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1088. Where the fuck you been?
Copy !req
1089. This is
for A. J.
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1090. I got one son and you miss
his confirmation ceremony?
Copy !req
1091. I figured with all my sins
Copy !req
1092. I don't want the church
caving in on everyone.
Copy !req
1093. Hey!
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1094. On the fucking rag again.
Copy !req
1095. No, I'm on the rag.
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1096. She's just wondering
who the fuck you are.
Copy !req
1097. No lectures, alright?
I'm not in the mood.
Copy !req
1098. I agree.
Copy !req
1099. I'm gonna go back in there
and be with my guests.
Copy !req
1100. Exactly ten minutes,
I'm gonna look up,
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1101. if you're not here
I'm gonna assume
Copy !req
1102. that you went to look for
whatever the fuck it is
Copy !req
1103. that's calling you out there.
Copy !req
1104. And that I will
never see you again.
Copy !req
1105. If you are still here,
then I'm gonna assume
Copy !req
1106. that you have no other desire in
the world than to be with me.
Copy !req
1107. And your actions will show me that
every second of every fucking day.
Copy !req
1108. You understand me?
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1109. Don't answer me.
Copy !req
1110. Take the ten minutes,
you think about it.
Copy !req
1111. Hey you, come here.
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1112. C'mon, let's take the picture.
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1113. C'mon, let's get the picture.
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1114. A. J., c'mon.
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1115. Wait, where's pussy?
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1116. Where's the godfather?
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1117. Captions copyright 2000
home box office
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