The Sopranos 1x11

1. Ohh, Debbie, you got magic fingers.

2. I betcha give a great hand job.

3. Yeah, she does.

4. Hey, here's my baby.

5. Debbie, you gotta put her on the A-list. Really.

6. She rides better than Willie Shoemaker.

7. - Did she go to the whip? - Heh heh.

8. - He's so crazy. - Only in the home stretch.

9. Ahh. Another satisfied customer.

10. I think he's havin' a heart attack!

11. Don't move.

12. Go see if Dr. Mop 'n' Glo is still here.

13. Whaddya mean, Dr. Mop 'n' Glo?

14. - Who? - Don't worry, he's a real doctor.

15. Dermatologist.

16. Excuse me. What's the matter?

17. Dr. Edelstein,

18. looks like he's having a heart attack.

19. I don't need no doctor. It's just my back.

20. - Nice and slow. - Come on, Puss.

21. Grab the rail. Grab the rail. That's right.

22. - Aaah! - Go easy. Go easy, now.

23. That's it. Nice and easy.

24. - Nice and easy. - Oh, Marone.

25. That's it. That's it.

26. Come on.

27. That's it. Hold the rail.

28. - I've got it. - Hold the rail.

29. Go slow, go slow.

30. That's it.

31. Eighty to you.

32. Fuck this.

33. What, your fuckin' back still botherin' you?

34. Yeah!

35. - FBI, nobody move! - FBI! Raid!

36. You believe this shit?

37. C'mon, it's a friendly card game.

38. Relax, Jimmy.

39. If I wanted to bust up card games,

40. I'd have a donut in my mouth.

41. Hey. Hey!

42. Get him! Get him!

43. Oh, my goodness.

44. Do you know what this is?

45. It's a fucking gun!

46. Fuckin' Jimmy's still in jail!

47. Don't mean shit.

48. I don't like it.

49. This is how it starts.

50. I think it was a pot luck raid.

51. Ya know, make it look like they're earnin' their pay.

52. - I agree! - But why the fuck would Pussy run?

53. I mean, the guy's out of breath

54. liftin' his dick out to take a leak.

55. - Oh, Puss! - Ho!

56. Your ears must be ringin'.

57. C'mon, run!

58. Ha ha. You guys are a fuckin' riot.

59. We were just gonna draw straws to see

60. who's gonna go down there and bail you out.

61. My wife did.

62. I nearly strangled her on the ride home.

63. My head's hurtin',

64. I got agita, and on top of all that,

65. I threw my goddamn back out again.

66. Maybe it was that 10-yard dash.

67. We don't run. It's embarrassing.

68. Please. They robbed me, those federal pricks.

69. - What do you mean? - They grabbed four dimes from me.

70. - Thank you! - You shouldn't carry that type of cash!

71. Never mind. I need a drink.

72. Ooh, Marone. Che puzz'!

73. Oh, jeez!

74. This better be good. I was takin' my kid fishin'.

75. Ah, Jesus. What, no "How ya been,

76. how's it doin', Vin, whaddya think, Vin"?

77. I thought we understood each other, right?

78. I don't give two shits about you or your family

79. or whether you take it up the ass.

80. Now, what's so important you take me away from my boat?

81. Hey, fuck-face, where you goin'?

82. Why you gotta talk to me like this?

83. Ya know, I do a lot of risky shit for you.

84. Well, you're not doin' charity work, remember?

85. All right, I'm sorry.

86. Hey, Vin, how ya doin'?

87. Whaddya got for me?

88. Bompensiero.

89. Pussy?

90. What about him?

91. He's wired for sound.

92. What?

93. I got it from a good source. I thought you should know.

94. All right?

95. I'm sorry, I know you like him.

96. Like him?

97. I fuckin' love him.

98. Now, who's your source?

99. He's on the force. He's on the task force, all right?

100. Look, he's not lying to me. He was in my wedding.

101. I wanna see the report.

102. - I can't get my hands... - I wanna see the fuckin' 302!

103. All right, all right. I'll see what I can do.

104. Doesn't make any sense.

105. Yeah, it does, Ton', if you... take the blinders off.

106. I'm in Robbery-Homicide, and I was told

107. he was movin' a lot of heavy H to pay for his kid's college.

108. Why would I know something like that?

109. And last spring, with that big heroin bust... where was he?

110. He told you he was in Las Vegas, am I right?

111. All right, again, I'm sorry, but, yeah, that's where he was.

112. He was in Las Vegas.

113. He was in the Federal Building cuttin' a deal.

114. And why did he walk so easy from that thing the other day?

115. Known wiseguy, resisting arrest...

116. who walks away from a thing like that with low-ball bail?

117. Why? W-Why would he do it?

118. Because he's facin' a possible sentence

119. of "from now on, mandatory," that's why.

120. Come on, I know a lot of guys who can't do that kind of time.

121. Who is this guy Pussy, huh?

122. Who is he? He's a man who loves his family above all else.

123. Well, guess what? That's their favorite target.

124. Ma, you sure? Because I'd be glad to...

125. No, I...

126. Okay. That's fine.

127. I said it's fine.

128. - Was that my mother? - She's not coming.

129. - You say it like you expected different. - I hoped.

130. Every year we have this open house,

131. and every year she pulls the same shit.

132. It's what they call negative attention-gettin'.

133. Well, maybe I should call her back.

134. That's just what she wants you to do.

135. C'mere.

136. You're bein' too nice.

137. Forget about her, she'll be fine.

138. Will you do me a favor?

139. Can you get the guys to help you move the piano out of the way?

140. They're comin' to get it tomorrow because some people don't play.

141. - I will. - Yeah, when?

142. It's been gathering dust here for three months.

143. Oh, Puss! C'mere!

144. Excuse me.

145. What do you need?

146. We're gonna move this.

147. I wanna slide this out of the way.

148. - I can't. - What do you mean, you can't?

149. The fuckin' things on wheels.

150. My back, Tony.

151. I'm thinkin' about goin' home, sittin' in the tub.

152. You all right?

153. Yeah, it's just my back.

154. They got me on these elephant pills.

155. All right.

156. Go easy on 'em.

157. Go ahead, sit down. Take it easy.

158. Listen, I want you to keep your eye on Pussy.

159. There's something wrong with him. He's not himself.

160. You're tellin' me?

161. You know he hasn't even done his rounds in a week?

162. He's startin' to look like an easy mark.

163. I told him, "Someone owes you money,

164. even if you gotta crawl, you get it."

165. I even told him to give me his list on who owes what

166. and I'll collect the fuckin' thing.

167. What'd he say?

168. He just nodded like a fuckin' retard.

169. Yeah, it's those fuckin' Percs.

170. He's throwin' 'em in his mouth like they're M&M's.

171. And there isn't even anything wrong with his back.

172. What do you mean?

173. Remember when that guy hit me in the head with that pool cue,

174. and I fucked my neck up?

175. - Yeah, down at the Shore. - Right.

176. - Hon, let's go. - I want to this doctor.

177. This guy works on the Jets' front line when they get hurt.

178. - Ahtzo. - Yeah.

179. He's fuckin' like the Jonas Salk of backs.

180. Anyway, I send Pussy to this doctor.

181. The guy gives him the works...

182. MRIs, CAT scans, dog scans... you name it.

183. And he says there's not a fuckin' thing wrong with his back.

184. "Then again," he says,

185. "when it comes to backs, nobody knows anything, really."

186. You know, I was on a good run, and then boom!

187. I don't know, it's like I'm walkin' down the street,

188. and I'm lookin' up, because I feel like a safe's gonna land on my head.

189. A feeling of pending doom?

190. Lemme ask you a question.

191. This mental stuff can cause physical problems, right?

192. Are you having any physical problems?

193. No, no, I'm fine.

194. But I got a friend...

195. a dear, dear friend, and I'm concerned about him.

196. What's wrong with him?

197. It's his back.

198. See, he... he's complainin' about his back,

199. but I think the doctor thinks it's all in his head.

200. That's very possible.

201. What do you think?

202. I think we should just keep this about you.

203. This is about me.

204. Every time I offer my opinion about any of your friends,

205. it seems to interfere with our therapy.

206. You start cursing and screaming.

207. What kind of mental stuff would cause a backache?

208. For conversation's sake?

209. Absolutely.

210. With some people,

211. the pain is caused by more responsibility

212. than they can handle.

213. Well, that makes sense. I mean, he...

214. he's got a lot of bills,

215. lot of problems with his kid's school fund.

216. Secrets.

217. What do you mean?

218. Psychologically, a secret is a heavy load,

219. it leads to feelings of guilt,

220. which further burden the mind.

221. If you want my opinion, this can't be true.

222. Thanks, Debbie.

223. You know, I told ya that I would do what I could,

224. but... this is DEA, feds,

225. task force.

226. This is not as easy as you think,

227. gettin' my hands on the 302.

228. Now, you listen to me.

229. This is the most serious fuckin' decision

230. I've ever had to make in my life,

231. and I need proof.

232. I'm not gonna hurt a man that I love

233. because of some cop gossip from a degenerate fuckin' gambler with a badge.

234. You understand me?

235. Ya know...

236. you got an amazing ability to sum up a man's whole life

237. in a single sentence.

238. "Degenerate gambler with a badge," huh?

239. You're a pisser. You're a real pisser.

240. Well, I'm sorry, I'm under a little bit of pressure here.

241. I don't have time to suck your dick!

242. - Apology accepted. - Fuck you!

243. - Fuck me! - Yeah, fuck you!

244. Ya know, when I was a kid...

245. when I was a kid, and my old man would be in one of his ways,

246. with the screamin' back and forth?

247. And eventually it'd end,

248. it'd end with her throwin' the closest thing to her,

249. and he'd smack her around!

250. And I don't know why...

251. but I would run into my room

252. and I would hide under my bed.

253. There was somethin' peaceful

254. and there was somethin' safe

255. under that bed.

256. And that's where I would wake up the next day.

257. Everything back to normal.

258. How 'bout you, Tony?

259. Do you ever feel like hidin' under a bed?

260. Yeah. Right now.

261. Well, you're a prick till the end, right?

262. You really like this place, huh?

263. It's my getaway.

264. This is where Debbie's taken care of me for years.

265. I'll bet she has.

266. I'm serious, she has.

267. I mean, there were times

268. when I'd be havin' a great weekend

269. with the football, ya know?

270. And I would come in here with a pocketful of money, shit-faced,

271. and every friggin' fuckin' penny of it would be there

272. when I got up in the morning.

273. She is an honest lady.

274. She'd do anything for you. Anything.

275. Come on, you come in here, you flash your badge, you get some free pussy.

276. Fuckin' pussy.

277. I wouldn't fuck one of these broads with your dick.

278. They have absolutely no class, and they're always on the hustle.

279. That's kind of what they're supposed to do, no?

280. "Oh, hello, Carmela. How nice to see you."

281. How are you feeling?

282. Oh, what can I say?

283. What's that?

284. It's a ricott' pie,

285. I saved it from the open house.

286. Are you wearing makeup?

287. I can't eat that. It's got cholesterol.

288. I made it with the low-fat cheese.

289. Yechh.

290. Well, maybe your friends will eat it.

291. What friends?

292. Fine, you can eat it when Junior visits.

293. You know, Ma, your son loves you very much.

294. He worries all the time.

295. And he felt bad that you didn't come to the open house.

296. And I don't care if you think it's disrespectful,

297. but I want you to cut the drama.

298. It's killing Tony.

299. What are you talking about?

300. I'm talking about this.

301. This "poor mother, nobody loves me" victim crap.

302. It is textbook manipulation,

303. and I hate seeing Tony so upset over it.

304. I know how to talk to people.

305. Well, I am a mother too, don't forget...

306. and you know the power that you have, and you use it like a pro.

307. Power? What power?

308. I don't have power. I'm a shut-in!

309. You are bigger than life. You are his mother.

310. And I don't think for one second that you don't know what you're doin' to him.

311. Who, me? Me? What do I... What did I do?

312. Look, I didn't come by to argue.

313. I came to check on you and to bring you the ricott'.

314. If you don't want it, you can give it to Junior,

315. 'cause I know he stops by a lot.

316. He's my husband's brother.

317. He can't check up on me once in a while?

318. That's none of anybody's business.

319. Oh, my God, I am not saying that.

320. All I am saying is, if you don't want it, give it to Junior.

321. I know what you're hinting at.

322. Ma, there is nothing wrong with companionship.

323. What is wrong?

324. Oh...

325. wait until you're abandoned.

326. Oh... Abandoned?

327. Please!

328. When Johnny was alive...

329. nobody treated me like this.

330. What are you talking about? Who is treating you bad?

331. Tony would rather die than see you hurt!

332. Johnny was a saint.

333. Yes, we have heard. Funny, though,

334. I don't remember you telling him that when he was alive.

335. Junior couldn't carry Johnny's socks.

336. Do you think I'd blacken my Johnny's memory

337. by getting mixed up with his brother?

338. Oh, jeez!

339. I didn't say that.

340. All I'm saying is that we are happy

341. that you and Junior get along so well.

342. Well, at least with Junior...

343. I...

344. I've got some purpose in life!

345. Somebody listens to me

346. and doesn't treat me like an old shoe.

347. Jesus.

348. Don't worry about the dish. I'll come back tomorrow and get it.

349. - Uncle Tony. - Hey! College boy!

350. Yo, Dad! It's Uncle Tony!

351. There he is, the beached whale.

352. Hey, Tony. What are you doin' here?

353. I figured you'd be havin' a cannoli withdrawal by now.

354. - Spinelli's? - No, Stop-N-Shop. What do you think?

355. Hey, you're the best.

356. Hey, Kev, put those on a dish.

357. Wait till after supper.

358. So your father tells me you're takin' up astronomy in college.

359. No, business.

360. How come he keeps sayin' you're takin' up space in school?

361. Marone, don't make me laugh.

362. It kills my back.

363. He's a good-lookin' kid.

364. Sure he's yours?

365. You're lucky my wife's not home. She'd toss you out for that.

366. - She doesn't play. - I know.

367. He's a good boy, Tony.

368. I pray to God I keep that fuckin' tuition comin' in.

369. Hey, the kid can always go to City College.

370. This kid's stayin' right where he is!

371. He isn't gettin' fucked 'cause his old man is!

372. You oughta relax.

373. Learn to take it easy a little.

374. Take it easy. How the fuck can I take it easy?

375. Things are happenin', Tony.

376. What kind of things?

377. Things.

378. This fuckin' back is takin' me out of the game.

379. I'm way behind. And to top it off,

380. I think I'm gettin' hooked on these fuckin' painkillers.

381. I don't know, I feel like someone put the maloik on me.

382. Puss...

383. you got options.

384. Don't let anyone ever make you feel like

385. you don't have any options, 'cause you got friends.

386. Look at me.

387. Friends that would die for you.

388. Ya understand me?

389. Friends.

390. Yeah, I know.

391. You got anything you wanna say to me?

392. Like what?

393. Like, "You want some coffee, Tony? You want something to eat?"

394. - Oh. You want coffee. - Yeah.

395. Think I'm gonna let you eat all those fuckin' cannolis by yourself?

396. You beached whale.

397. - Here. - What?

398. Help me up. You want coffee, who's gonna make it, you?

399. One, two, three.

400. - You look good. - Yeah.

401. What's up, T?

402. Sit.

403. Fuckin' traffic.

404. I woulda been here twenty minutes ago.

405. Want a drink?

406. Nah.

407. You okay?

408. He's wearin' a wire.

409. Who?

410. - Pussy. - Get the fuck outta here.

411. Our Pussy?

412. Don't know how long.

413. Are you sure about this, Tony?

414. Ninety percent.

415. Not enough to do what needs to be done.

416. Aw, Jesus, Tony, I'm fuckin' dreamin' here.

417. Well, get used to it.

418. I've been walkin' into walls all week.

419. I'll do it.

420. No...

421. it's my responsibility.

422. Tony.

423. You waited a long time for the stripes.

424. This is one of the perks.

425. I'll do it.

426. We need to be 110% sure.

427. I want you to see it.

428. I want you to see that fuckin' wire strapped on his body.

429. I want you to see it.

430. Ya hear me?

431. I want you to see it.

432. Otherwise all bets are off.

433. Ya understand?

434. No.

435. This is our friend we're talkin' about here.

436. You say it.

437. You understand?

438. I understand.

439. Come in.

440. Mr. Soprano!

441. - Are you busy? - No, no, no. Come in. Please.

442. I was in the neighborhood, figured I'd stop by

443. and see my mother.

444. Brought her some Mario Lanza.

445. She, uh... loves the old guys.

446. I'm a little worried about her.

447. Ya know, she's always been depressed.

448. Sometimes these half-assed tenors can really do the trick.

449. You know where she is? She's not in her room.

450. I wanted to tell her, her house went into escrow.

451. She's with the other girls getting aquatherapy.

452. - My mother? - The physical therapist told her

453. if she didn't get any exercise,

454. her back was gonna arch like an old lady.

455. I didn't even know she owned a bathing suit.

456. She's more connected to the world.

457. Which one, this one or Neptune?

458. No, really.

459. I think your uncle's visits

460. has a lot to do with it.

461. Oh, she looks forward to them.

462. Oh, could you excuse me one moment?

463. Yeah, sure.

464. No, just, uh...

465. tell her her house sold and they accepted the counteroffer.

466. Okay, yeah, I'll be right there.

467. - I'm leavin', guys. - Pussy, I'll see ya later.

468. - Feel better. - I'll tell ya if that horse is running.

469. Don't do me any favors. Gonna take off. I'll see ya.

470. Follow me.

471. - Where? - It's a surprise.

472. Come on, ya hard-on, before we get a ticket.

473. Paulie, I've been here before. What the fuck you want?

474. Look around. I'll give you three guesses.

475. Come on. Down here.

476. We'll grab a rubdown after.

477. Here.

478. I don't know.

479. Come on, get undressed. It's on me.

480. Why do you think those Russian leaders live so long?

481. They take a schvitz every day.

482. - I can't. - Don't be like that.

483. It's a gift. Take your clothes off.

484. What, you want me to turn around?

485. The doctor said heat's no good for me.

486. I gotta avoid it. That's why I sit in the shade.

487. What the fuck you talkin' about?

488. Heat is good for your back. Take your clothes off.

489. Look, Paulie, I appreciate it, but maybe another time, huh?

490. Take your clothes off.

491. You're fuckin' crazy. I'm goin' home.

492. Why don't you want to take your clothes off?

493. I got high blood pressure, ya fuckin' idiot.

494. I go in there, I could check the fuck out.

495. My doctor mentioned steam and sauna specifically as no-nos.

496. He said stay the fuck away from heat!

497. Thanks for the thought... but get outta my fuckin' face.

498. What'd you find out?

499. It's good. It's fuckin' very good.

500. Spit it out.

501. He's into Pussy, big.

502. And I mean with a capital "B."

503. This fuckin' Makazian? He's a lyin' motherfucker.

504. He's into Pussy for like thirty large...

505. twenty grand just on football!

506. Eh, the rest is shy...

507. Pussy must be buryin' this prick in vig alone!

508. Doesn't mean he's a liar.

509. Just means he's got a reason to see Pussy dead...

510. it buys him time.

511. Could this prick have the balls to try somethin' like this?

512. Hey, we're talkin' about thirty grand here.

513. I don't even wanna think about what me and you would do to remove that debt.

514. Wouldn't bet football.

515. I gotta think about this.

516. Look, T.

517. If my vote counts for anything,

518. I cannot believe that Pussy would fear the can enough

519. to hurt his friends.

520. That's what they said about Gravano.

521. All right, go back in. I gotta think.

522. Ahh.

523. Deb?

524. Debbie?

525. Why don't you take it easy with her?

526. I would think a whore'd like a little pain.

527. - Come on, take it easy! - Vinnie, stop it!

528. Let's get this show on the road!

529. Look at this. A doctor, a madam, wiseguy, and a cop?

530. That's what I call a vice superfecta.

531. That way.

532. the four were arrested last night.

533. A police spokesman says that the officer in question

534. will be placed on administrative leave

535. pending the outcome of a hearing

536. set for this morning.

537. I'd hate to have been there when he got home.

538. I don't know which is more embarrassing,

539. to be caught in a bordello or to be caught with a wiseguy.

540. Meanwhile, there was a fire...

541. Asshole.

542. - What's a bordello? - Fancy name for a whorehouse.

543. - Don't start, okay? - It is.

544. Yeah, I know it is. I just don't like that talk.

545. This country's light-years behind the rest of the world.

546. Most civilized countries have legalized prostitution.

547. Don't you got somewhere to be?

548. It's a joke. Look what they're putting the president through.

549. He deserved what he got.

550. He got Monica Kazinski

551. and the broad with the long nose.

552. I just don't think sex should be a punishable offense.

553. Ya know, honey, that's where I agree with ya.

554. I don't think sex should be a punishable offense, either.

555. But I do think that talkin' about sex at the breakfast table

556. is a punishable offense.

557. So no more sex talk, okay?

558. It's the nineties.

559. Parents are supposed to discuss sex with their children.

560. Yeah, but that's where you're wrong.

561. You see, out there, it's the 1990s.

562. But in this house, it's 1954.

563. 1990s, 1954.

564. So now and forever I don't want to hear any more sex talk, okay?

565. What's with him?

566. Come on, let's go!

567. C'mon, c'mon!

568. Come on, you lame-ass driver!

569. Keep movin', please.

570. Come on, move it!

571. Where you want me to go, lady?

572. Come on, goddamnit!

573. Come on, let's go, let's go!

574. Let's go!

575. Oh. Go right ahead, Detective.

576. Excuse me. Move it out, please.

577. Got a police officer here.

578. Move it out!

579. Let's go! Pull up!

580. Come on.

581. Police vehicle comin' through!

582. Are you sure?

583. Who told ya this?

584. What?

585. Yeah. Yeah, I'm still here.

586. All right, all right, thanks. I'll talk to ya later.

587. You gonna tell me?

588. The fuckin' jerk did a header off the Route 1 bridge.

589. - Who? - Makazian.

590. Fuck!

591. There goes our only shot to find out for sure

592. the truth about Pussy.

593. Well, if it matters,

594. he always said how much he respected you.

595. It matters.

596. He helped me out of a lot of jams.

597. Not just with the law.

598. What the fuck was he thinkin'?

599. He coulda kept his job. He mighta been suspended, that's all.

600. It wasn't like he was dealin'.

601. That's not why he did it.

602. Don't get me wrong, it was the straw, but...

603. he was not happy...

604. with himself, how he turned out.

605. What did he come here for, therapy?

606. You could say that.

607. Instead of a couch, you use a bed?

608. It's not a bad deal.

609. Hey, who wouldn't want to sleep with their shrink?

610. What does that mean?

611. You would be amazed how much easier it is to open up

612. when you're naked and in the arms of someone who cares for you.

613. Did he ever...

614. mention anything about my guys to you?

615. He didn't like Paulie.

616. He thought he was a psycho.

617. What about Pussy?

618. He really didn't have much to say about any of you guys.

619. Except that he owed some money.

620. But he wasn't worried because you liked him, and, uh...

621. as long as he had you in his corner...

622. there was nothing really to worry about.

623. I'm not gonna lie 'cause he's dead,

624. he didn't have a good thing to say about anybody, but...

625. did feel like he could trust you, Tony.

626. He said many times that at least with Tony Soprano...

627. you know where you stand.

628. Livia, open up.

629. It's Junior.

630. Come on in. It's open.

631. What's goin' on?

632. The Dominican girl said you called me.

633. Well...

634. he sold our house.

635. Don't people have names anymore? Who's "he"?

636. Anthony.

637. He sold my house.

638. The home my husband and I made.

639. What else were they gonna do with it?

640. You too!

641. Hey.

642. I suppose he would have found it harder

643. to have his meetings at my house...

644. than in this nursing home.

645. What are you talkin' about, meetings?

646. Don't think I'll ever see any of that money, either.

647. What meetings?

648. Raymond! Larry!

649. That sneak from Manhattan.

650. Johnny Sack? Johnny Sack was here?

651. With his mohair suits and his shoe lifts.

652. Suits, pleurisy?

653. More than once he was here?

654. Why didn't I know about this?

655. Well, maybe it was you they were talking about, who knows?

656. No, I just don't like bein' put in the middle of things.

657. I shoulda known something was strange when...

658. when suddenly Larry's Boy's mother's moved in here,

659. and then Jimmy Altieri's mother.

660. Three of my capos have their mothers in this place?

661. Instead of living in normal homes,

662. with their sons, like human beings.

663. This be some kind of fuckin' end move.

664. What do they think, I'm stupid?

665. - We'll see. - Now, wait a minute.

666. I don't like that kind of talk.

667. Now, just stop it, it upsets me.

668. Or I won't tell you anything anymore.

669. If this is true, Livia,

670. you know what I... I mean...

671. I'm the boss, for chrissake! If...

672. If I don't act, blood or no...

673. - I have to. - Oh, God.

674. What?

675. What did I say now?

676. I suppose I shoulda just kept my mouth shut,

677. like a mute.

678. And then everybody would have been happy.

679. A.J., go see who's at the door.

680. I'm eating.

681. Yeah, but you don't have any teeth left to eat with

682. if you don't get up off your ass and go see who's at the door.

683. Make sure you know who it is before you answer it!

684. Who is coming at dinnertime? People can't call?

685. It's Uncle Jimmy!

686. Uncle Jimmy? Let him in!

687. I don't believe it. How'd you get out?

688. - Hey! - Mmm!

689. Carm, look who's here! Jimmy! He's out!

690. Oh, my God. Jimmy!

691. Thought you'd never see me again, huh, Carm?

692. - So what happened? - Long story.

693. You got someplace in private we could talk?

694. Yeah, in the basement.

695. What's goin' on?

696. You got a problem.

697. Yeah, I know. I'm workin' on it.

698. Workin' on what?

699. Why, what were you gonna say?

700. You better lay low with that safe house money.

701. What are you talkin' about?

702. They were askin' me a lot of questions in there,

703. ya know? If I knew anything about the dead Colombian

704. in the apartment and all that?

705. Well, you look good.

706. Thanks. I wasn't gone that long.

707. Yeah. Yeah, I know.

708. My lawyer told 'em, "Hey, he doesn't own the building,

709. he's not responsible for what's in the building."

710. I told 'em the pool table was there when I first rented the joint.

711. Good thinkin'.

712. Missed your calling, shoulda been a lawyer.

713. Heh. Please...

714. enough people hate me.

715. So, uh...

716. what are ya gonna do about the Colombian money?

717. They were puttin' the screws to me like I was a schoolkid.

718. Tellin' me that the money was marked.

719. They even said that there's a new fingerprint technique

720. that lifts it right off the bills.

721. You're a lucky man, Jimmy.

722. Whaddya mean?

723. You're out on bail on that conspiracy thing, right?

724. - Yeah. So? - So only a lucky prick like you

725. would get pinched with a gun while he's out on bail for something else

726. and still be out in time for dinner.

727. You're a lucky guy.

728. Speakin' of dinner, Carmela's got some lasagna upstairs. You want some?

729. - Come on. - I'll pass.

730. I still got a few people to see that are late with payments.

731. - Oh, yeah? - I gotta make sure they see my face,

732. otherwise they think they're off the hook.

733. Yeah, I know how that is.

734. Get off the phone.

735. I gotta go. What's up?

736. It's Jimmy. It's fuckin' Jimmy!

737. What?

738. The wire. It's fuckin' Jimmy!

739. What are you talkin' about?

740. The wire. Ya understand?

741. The wire. It's fuckin' Jimmy.

742. - Holy shit. - "New fingerprint technique."

743. I shoulda killed him right in my fuckin' basement!

744. Makazian's guy got his facts crossed.

745. They both got busted at the same fuckin' time,

746. Jimmy and Pussy.

747. Ya understand?

748. Two fat fucks with black hair.

749. Where the fuck is Paulie?

750. Uh, he called an hour ago.

751. I swear to God. He said he's on his way.

752. Why the fuck isn't he here now?

753. Jesus, Tony.

754. You don't think, uh... Paulie jumped the gun?

755. Shut up. God forbid. God forbid.

756. Don't talk like that.

757. Where's Pussy? Get him on the phone. Get him on the phone.

758. All right, all right.

759. I haven't seen him since Paulie took him to the schvitz.

760. Hey, fellas.

761. Where the fuck have you been?

762. I've been callin' you all fuckin' night long!

763. I was at my goomar's. I told Silvio I was comin'.

764. You answer me like I'm Jesus Christ himself,

765. and if you fuckin' lie to me, may your mother die of cancer of the eyes.

766. - Where's Pussy? - I don't know.

767. - Don't you fuckin' lie to me. - Tony.

768. Did you do it?

769. - Tony. - Shh.

770. Don't fuckin' lie to me.

771. Did you do it?

772. No.

773. - Did you fuckin' do it? - No.

774. Did you fuckin' do it?

775. I said no!

776. Now get your fuckin' hands off me.

777. C'mon, Tony.

778. Come on.

779. I'm sorry, Paulie.

780. I can't find Pussy anywhere.

781. Nobody knows anything.

782. I haven't seen him since the schvitz.

783. The last thing he said to me was...

784. "Go fuck yourself."

785. Did he at least take the schvitz?

786. He refused to take his clothes off.

787. The rat.

788. It's fuckin' Jimmy.

789. Ah, fuck it.

790. Let's all have a drink.

791. Here we go. Here we go.

792. All right.

793. Hey, babe.

794. Look what Chucky brought us.

795. Oh. Another kitchen appliance.

796. Whoop-fuckin'-pee.

797. Well, slit your wrists, why don'tcha?

798. Truckload fell off the loading dock at Zim's last night.

799. Oh. It's not even a "Bra-oon."

800. That's a Braun, babe.

801. Junior said for me to tell ya.

802. He's decided... on that thing.

803. He said we should look out of town for who's gonna do it.

804. - Finally. - Yeah.

805. Yeah. It's gonna be a busy month.

806. - Yeah. - I'll see ya, Mikey.

807. - See ya later. - All right.

808. I'll see ya, Jo.

809. Yeah, see ya.

810. What was that sick fuck talkin' about?

811. Mind your business.

812. Whatever it is, Mikey,

813. we're goin' to Vegas next month.

814. I already lined up child care for Francis Albert,

815. - so I don't wanna hear it. - Forget it.

816. Somethin's come up.

817. Something always comes up.

818. This is a good something.

819. Hope it means more money,

820. - 'cause I need a new car. - Trust me.

821. This goes down, you're gonna have a new car and then some.

822. Can you tell me?

823. Oh, come on, Mikey,

824. - tell me. - Mnh-mnh.

825. Come on. Please?

826. I may be gettin' bumped up...

827. a notch or two.

828. Tony Soprano's on his way out,

829. and I mean as in "forever."

830. Oh, my God.

831. He's goin' to jail?

832. No, the other "forever."

833. Does Junior know?

834. Oh, jeez.

835. Now listen to me.

836. If you breathe a word of this to anybody,

837. they're gonna be buryin' me and you

838. right next to Tony Soprano, you understand?

839. - Yeah. - Okay.

840. Make it decaf.

841. You don't belittle a man like Junior Soprano.

842. He's old school.

843. You don't joke about cunt-lapping,

844. and you definitely don't spill your guts out

845. to a fuckin' shrink about business

846. that isn't yours to talk about.

847. Tony Soprano sees a shrink?

848. You fuckin' believe that?

849. And to add insult to injury,

850. he was plannin' on makin' a move against Junior.

851. His own uncle?

852. Were you this fuckin' stupid when I married you?

853. Oh, fuck you.

854. No, fuck you.

855. And what are you doin' standin' there?

856. Make the coffee.

857. Take it easy!

858. Take it easy. It's brewin'.