1. D'Copy !req
2. This place is going
to smell classy all week.Copy !req
3. To Homer...
The Wall Street genius!Copy !req
4. Ooh, ooh, ooh!Copy !req
5. Hey, Homer, how come you gotCopy !req
6. money to burn, or singe anyway?Copy !req
7. Yeah Homer,
what's your secret investment?Copy !req
8. Take a guess.Copy !req
9. Pumpkins?Copy !req
10. Yeah, that's right, Barney.Copy !req
11. This year,
I invested in pumpkins.Copy !req
12. They've been going up
the whole month of October,Copy !req
13. and I got a feelingCopy !req
14. they're going to peak
right around JanuaryCopy !req
15. and, bang,
that's when I'll cash in.Copy !req
16. To Homer, and to Sergeant PepperCopy !req
17. who is growing out of
the middle of your back.Copy !req
18. Barn, you got
to unwrap the plasticCopy !req
19. before you smoke these.Copy !req
20. To Homer. Yeah!Copy !req
21. Way to go, Homer!Copy !req
22. Homer, you knuckle-beak,
I told you a hundred timesCopy !req
23. you got to sell
your pumpkin futuresCopy !req
24. before Halloween, before.Copy !req
25. Alright, let's not panic.Copy !req
26. I'll make the money back
by selling one of my livers.Copy !req
27. I can get by with one.Copy !req
28. How am I going
to tell Marge we're broke?Copy !req
29. I need a miracle.Copy !req
30. My house is on fire!Copy !req
31. Whoo-hoo!
Insurance to the rescue!Copy !req
32. Hello, Homer.Copy !req
33. Marge, we had a deal.Copy !req
34. Your sisters don't
come here after 6:00,Copy !req
35. and I stop eating your lipstick.Copy !req
36. This is a special occasion.Copy !req
37. Patty and Selma just got promoted
at the D.M.V.Copy !req
38. Yeah, Homer.Copy !req
39. Let your wife have
a glimpse of success for once.Copy !req
40. All right.Copy !req
41. That's the last straw.Copy !req
42. Time to take out
the trash, but firstCopy !req
43. I'm going to have
to ask you to leave.Copy !req
44. I'm sorry.Copy !req
45. Homer doesn't mean to be rude.Copy !req
46. He's just a very
complicated man.Copy !req
47. Wrong!Copy !req
48. When are you going to wake upCopy !req
49. and smell your husband, Marge?Copy !req
50. Granted, you got
some kids out of him,Copy !req
51. but when the seeds
have been planted,Copy !req
52. you throw away the envelope.Copy !req
53. I wish you wouldn't put
Homer down like that.Copy !req
54. He may not be a
big success like you,Copy !req
55. but I can always count on himCopy !req
56. to provide for the family.Copy !req
57. Sweet, trusting Marge,
I can't let you down.Copy !req
58. I'll get some money somehow.Copy !req
59. Hello. Vegas?Copy !req
60. Give me a hundred bucks on red.Copy !req
61. D'All right,
I'll send you a check.Copy !req
62. If only I could think
of an invention.Copy !req
63. Something that would
really make money.Copy !req
64. Must concentrate and work harder
than I've ever worked...Copy !req
65. Congratulations,
Mr. Simpson.Copy !req
66. This invention of yoursCopy !req
67. has made us all rich,
especially you.Copy !req
68. It's simple yet ingeniousCopy !req
69. and it fits right
in the palm of your hand.Copy !req
70. Every person in America
now owns one of theseCopy !req
71. and in many cases,
three or four.Copy !req
72. Could I just get a look at that?Copy !req
73. Why would you need to see it?Copy !req
74. You're the genius who invented
the product in question.Copy !req
75. But, could I just...Copy !req
76. Now don't worry,
you'll get to see itCopy !req
77. just as soon as we unveil
our new ad campaign.Copy !req
78. - Ooh!
- Ooh!Copy !req
79. Let me see! Let me see!
Out of the way!Copy !req
80. Homer! Homer, wake up!Copy !req
81. There's still a few minutes
till our usual bedtime.Copy !req
82. Ooh, my invention!Copy !req
83. All my money problems
could have...Copy !req
84. Money problems?
Homer, are weCopy !req
85. in some sort of
fiduciary trouble?Copy !req
86. Marge, my loyal wife,Copy !req
87. of course not.Copy !req
88. And Lisa, my little princess.Copy !req
89. And who could forget
dear Rat Boy?Copy !req
90. Rat Boy? I resent that.Copy !req
91. Bart, I told you before...Copy !req
92. Stop gnawing on the drywall.Copy !req
93. What a day, Milhouse?Copy !req
94. The sun is out,
birds are singing.Copy !req
95. Bees are trying to
have sex with them...Copy !req
96. As is my understanding.Copy !req
97. It is a gorgeously fabulous day.Copy !req
98. Marvelous even.Copy !req
99. So, what's your
hurry to get to school?Copy !req
100. Nothing.Copy !req
101. What's your hurry?Copy !req
102. That's enough, Bart.Copy !req
103. Fun is fun, but if we're late,Copy !req
104. we're going to get in trouble.Copy !req
105. You're right, Milhouse.Copy !req
106. Fun is fun.Copy !req
107. Attention, students.
It's time once againCopy !req
108. to choose a gym class
for the coming term,Copy !req
109. so let's all prove
how adult we can beCopy !req
110. by filing to the gym
in a calm and orderly manner,Copy !req
111. even though it's first come,
first serve,Copy !req
112. and the most popular sports
fill up fast.Copy !req
113. Aargh, too many wee ones!Copy !req
114. This gets uglier every year.Copy !req
115. Any sign of Bart and Milhouse?Copy !req
116. No. And if they don't
get here soon,Copy !req
117. it'll be T.S. for them.Copy !req
118. I don't feel right.Copy !req
119. Do you hear that, Bart?Copy !req
120. That was the tardy bell.Copy !req
121. "Truant! Truant! Truant!"
They'll all say.Copy !req
122. Aw, who needs him?Copy !req
123. I can have fun all by myself.Copy !req
124. S'all right?Copy !req
125. S'all right.Copy !req
126. S'all right?
S'all right.Copy !req
127. S'all right?
S'all right.Copy !req
128. Sure Homer, I can loan you
all the money you need.Copy !req
129. However, since you
have no collateral,Copy !req
130. I'm gonna have to break
your legs in advance.Copy !req
131. Gosh, Moe, I use these
all the time.Copy !req
132. Couldn't you just
bash my head in?Copy !req
133. Hey, hey, are you a loan shark?Copy !req
134. Do you understand
how finance works?Copy !req
135. Now, let's do this thing.Copy !req
136. No.Copy !req
137. It's P.E. sign-up day.Copy !req
138. How could you forget?Copy !req
139. They had signs posted
all over the library.Copy !req
140. Better sign up for
something fast, man.Copy !req
141. Baseball just filled up...Copy !req
142. So did tae kwon do.Copy !req
143. There's only one class left,Copy !req
144. but it happens to be
the coolest one of all.Copy !req
145. Ballet?
Dancing is for girls.Copy !req
146. Well, you should have
gotten here earlier.Copy !req
147. I need another extension
on my mortgage payments.Copy !req
148. I understand that Mr. Simpson,
but according to our computer,Copy !req
149. your credit history is not good.Copy !req
150. It says here that you've been
pre-declined for every major credit card.Copy !req
151. It also says that you once
grabbed a dog by the hind legsCopy !req
152. and pushed him around
like a vacuum cleaner.Copy !req
153. That was in the third grade.Copy !req
154. Well, it all goes
on your permanent record.Copy !req
155. I'm sorry, but if you don't come up
with that money by tomorrow,Copy !req
156. the bank is going
to take your house.Copy !req
157. Well, good luck finding itCopy !req
158. because I'm gonna take
the numbers off tonight.Copy !req
159. Well, we'll look for the house
with no numbers.Copy !req
160. Then I'll take off the numbers
on my neighbor's house.Copy !req
161. So then we'll look for the house next
to the house with no numbers.Copy !req
162. All right,
you'll get your money.Copy !req
163. You're my last last chance...Copy !req
164. Bottom-of-the-barrel, hail-mary,Copy !req
165. longshot-wish-you-would-do-it
but-probably-won'tCopy !req
166. final resort to lend me money.Copy !req
167. We'll take care of you.Copy !req
168. Yes, care.Copy !req
169. Cut him a checkCopy !req
170. and get him the
hell out of here.Copy !req
171. What a wonderful dinner.
What a beautiful family.Copy !req
172. Someone get a picture of me
with my arm around this steak.Copy !req
173. You're certainly in a good
mood tonight, Dad.Copy !req
174. Well, Lisa,Copy !req
175. I managed to solve
a little problem today,Copy !req
176. and to celebrate,
I'm going to tilt my chair.Copy !req
177. Slanty.Copy !req
178. Patty, Selma?
What are you doing here?Copy !req
179. We thought we'd stop by
unexpectedly for dinner.Copy !req
180. Now bring us some extra chairs
like a good blubber-in-law.Copy !req
181. Time to fertilize the lawn.Copy !req
182. A couple of 500-pound bags
should do it.Copy !req
183. Homer, be careful with
my sisters' heads.Copy !req
184. Their necks are brittle.Copy !req
185. That's okay, Marge.
Nothing's broke...Copy !req
186. Except Homer.Copy !req
187. What's that supposed to mean?Copy !req
188. It means...Copy !req
189. It means these two
fabulous babesCopy !req
190. are staying for dinner.Copy !req
191. Now, there's a stink
I could have done without.Copy !req
192. This has been such
a nice, peaceful dinner.Copy !req
193. It calls for a celebration.Copy !req
194. I'm going to makeCopy !req
195. the most international coffee
in the house...Copy !req
196. Montreal Morn.Copy !req
197. All right, you had your fun.Copy !req
198. Now get lost.Copy !req
199. Our fun hasn't begun yet.Copy !req
200. We know something you
don't want Marge to know.Copy !req
201. Now we own youCopy !req
202. like Siegfried owns Roy.Copy !req
203. I'm sorry. All we have
is Nescafe.Copy !req
204. I'm very, very sorry.Copy !req
205. Marge, Marge.
You're just in time.Copy !req
206. Homer's getting ready
to give us a foot rub.Copy !req
207. You are?Copy !req
208. No! I...Copy !req
209. I'm giving them a foot massage.Copy !req
210. At least let me have that.Copy !req
211. You can start with the corns.Copy !req
212. Then you can move on
to bunion country.Copy !req
213. Okay. Steady, Bart.Copy !req
214. Taking ballet doesn't
make you any less of a man.Copy !req
215. All right, girls.Copy !req
216. Today we learn the dance
of the fairy queens.Copy !req
217. You can either be
a fairy or a queen.Copy !req
218. It's wide open.Copy !req
219. And what have we here?Copy !req
220. A young man maybe who thinks
he can be the next Baryshnikov?Copy !req
221. I don't want to be
the next anything.Copy !req
222. I'm only taking this stupid
class because they made me.Copy !req
223. So, he has fire in the belly.Copy !req
224. But it will take more than belly
fire to be the next Baryshnikov.Copy !req
225. Look, Boris, I think
ballet's for sissies.Copy !req
226. Ballet is for the strong,
the fierce, the determined...Copy !req
227. But for the sissies...Copy !req
228. Never.Copy !req
229. Now, put on this fuchsiatard.Copy !req
230. You, are a fairy.Copy !req
231. Quitting time.Copy !req
232. Let's go Homer.
On the way home,Copy !req
233. we're stopping at Moe's
for a Zima.Copy !req
234. Maybe I'll just stay
and work overtime.Copy !req
235. My sisters-in-law
are at my house again.Copy !req
236. Homer, quit wallowing
in self-pity.Copy !req
237. Pull yourself together
and come get drunk with us.Copy !req
238. Is something wrong,
Mr. Simpson?Copy !req
239. I don't like wearing
tights, ma'am.Copy !req
240. But so many of your
heroes wear tights.Copy !req
241. Batman, for exampleCopy !req
242. and... Magellan.Copy !req
243. Look, I don't like this cootie platoon
and I never will.Copy !req
244. I'm out of here,Copy !req
245. and I'm out
of this stupid outfit.Copy !req
246. Wait.Copy !req
247. Joy of movement increasing.Copy !req
248. Love of dance,
impossible to resist.Copy !req
249. Toes twinkling!Copy !req
250. Look at me, girls.Copy !req
251. I'm doing ballet!Copy !req
252. And I love it!Copy !req
253. Am I wrong,Copy !req
254. or did it just get fatter
in here?Copy !req
255. Request permission to slink by.Copy !req
256. Permission pending.Copy !req
257. First...Copy !req
258. light our cigarettes.Copy !req
259. But you're already
smoking cig...Copy !req
260. You're really pushing it.Copy !req
261. Come on, Homer.Copy !req
262. You can't spell "obsequious"
without "I-O-U."Copy !req
263. I'll have to trust you on that.Copy !req
264. Well, Marge was always
a good speller.Copy !req
265. Let's ask her.Copy !req
266. No! Don't tell Marge.Copy !req
267. I'll be good, I'll be good.Copy !req
268. Just for that, you have
to crawl around on the floorCopy !req
269. like the dog you are.Copy !req
270. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
271. Now say "I am Homer Simpson,Copy !req
272. the lowly dog"Copy !req
273. in a dog's voice.Copy !req
274. I am rrr-omer rrr-impson.Copy !req
275. Good.
Jump, Homer, jump.Copy !req
276. What's going on in here?Copy !req
277. Rabso-rutely rothing, Rarge.Copy !req
278. - What's that paper?
- What paper?Copy !req
279. Homer.Copy !req
280. Is this projection accurate?Copy !req
281. Did you borrow money
from my sisters?Copy !req
282. I don't know Marge.
I can't be expected to keep trackCopy !req
283. of all my wheelings
and dealings.Copy !req
284. He blew all your savings
on jack-o'-lanterns.Copy !req
285. You told!Copy !req
286. Sorry, Marge.Copy !req
287. I never want to see
you again. You either.Copy !req
288. Homer.
Homer, why didn't you tell me?Copy !req
289. I was ashamed, Marge.Copy !req
290. I failed you as
a husband and a provider,Copy !req
291. and at best, I was a B-plus dog.Copy !req
292. I'll understand if you wanna sleep
on the couch tonight.Copy !req
293. How's Dad today?Copy !req
294. Not too good, Lisa.Copy !req
295. Frankly, he's underneath
the table.Copy !req
296. Nobody make me any breakfast.Copy !req
297. A man so deeply in debt
doesn't deserve it.Copy !req
298. But I like to make
you breakfast.Copy !req
299. In that case,
I'll just have French toastCopy !req
300. with double butter
and a side of bacon.Copy !req
301. But no powdered sugar...
I don't deserve it.Copy !req
302. Maybe a little powdered sugar.Copy !req
303. See that?Copy !req
304. I started to do, like,
a little arabesque,Copy !req
305. but then I just
fully went for itCopy !req
306. and pulled off
the demi-entrechat.Copy !req
307. Not that I'm into
that kind of thing.Copy !req
308. Bravissimo, Bart!Copy !req
309. Next week,
class gives its first recitalCopy !req
310. and you, you will
dance the male lead.Copy !req
311. Dance in front
of my whole school?Copy !req
312. What is it with you and ballet?Copy !req
313. I know you have
great conflict, Bart.Copy !req
314. You love ballet,Copy !req
315. yet you fear the boys
will laugh at you. No?Copy !req
316. No. I fear the girls
will laugh at me.Copy !req
317. I fear the boys will beat
the living snot out of me.Copy !req
318. Hey Dad, what you doing?Copy !req
319. Daddy has very
important work to do.Copy !req
320. He's looking
through the want adsCopy !req
321. to find a part-time job.Copy !req
322. Dad, that's a gag paper
we got at the carnival.Copy !req
323. No wonder I didn't hear
about Bart being electedCopy !req
324. World's Greatest Sex Machine.Copy !req
325. Aw, I'll never pay
off that debt.Copy !req
326. Need money fast?
Got no experience?Copy !req
327. Step up to elegance.
Become a limo driver at Classy Joe's.Copy !req
328. That's it! I'll make money
with a chauffeur job.Copy !req
329. Good thing you turned
on that TV, Lisa.Copy !req
330. I didn't turn it on.
I thought you turned it on.Copy !req
331. No. Well, anyway,
turn it off.Copy !req
332. It is off.Copy !req
333. You're gonna have to work hard
to win this crowd over.Copy !req
334. Most of them are here
as part of detention.Copy !req
335. Really big crowd.Copy !req
336. We even bussed in troublemakersCopy !req
337. from other schools.Copy !req
338. That spiky-haired, masked dancer
is really something.Copy !req
339. I wonder who he is.Copy !req
340. He's graceful, yet masculineCopy !req
341. So it's okay for me
to enjoy this.Copy !req
342. This reminds me
of the movie Fame,Copy !req
343. and to a lesser extent,
the TV seriesCopy !req
344. which was also called Fame.Copy !req
345. Wow. I can't believeCopy !req
346. my very first passenger is
comedy legend Mel Brooks.Copy !req
347. I loved that movie
Young Frankenstein.Copy !req
348. Scared the hell out of me.Copy !req
349. Um, thanks.Copy !req
350. Hey, let's do that
2,000-pound-man thing.Copy !req
351. I'll be the Carl Reiner guy,
and you be what's-his-face.Copy !req
352. Homer, it's not that easy.Copy !req
353. It takes the genius
of Carl ReinerCopy !req
354. and the rhythm and timing
that only he and I...Copy !req
355. Sir, today every country
has a national anthem.Copy !req
356. Did they have national anthems
2,000 years ago?Copy !req
357. Sure. Sure we had.
Of course we was caves.Copy !req
358. But every cave
had a national anthem.Copy !req
359. I'll never forget
my cave's national anthem.Copy !req
360. What was that national anthem?Copy !req
361. Vat's with the si...
What's with the siren?Copy !req
362. Evening, Simpson.
You got a short in your taillight.Copy !req
363. Started blinking when
you made that turn.Copy !req
364. Let's see your
Chauffeur's License.Copy !req
365. Chauffeur's License?Copy !req
366. Mel, buckle your borscht belt!Copy !req
367. Since you're trying
to make a getaway in parkCopy !req
368. I'm guessing you
don't have a license.Copy !req
369. Better head down
to the D.M.V.Copy !req
370. These two broads
will help you out.Copy !req
371. Wow. Officer, this man
is making me a little edgy.Copy !req
372. Could you please give me
a ride to the airport?Copy !req
373. Hey! Hey! You're Mel Brooks!Copy !req
374. Sure. I'll give you a ride.Copy !req
375. Thank you.Copy !req
376. On the way, we can do
that 2,000-dollar-man thing.Copy !req
377. You be Carl Reiner,
and I'll be Police Chief Wiggum.Copy !req
378. Listen, why don't you play Carl Reiner
and let me play Police Chief Wiggum?Copy !req
379. I hate Carl Reiner.Copy !req
380. I haven't been moved like this
since the Joy Luck Club.Copy !req
381. They love me. I'm accepted.Copy !req
382. I don't need this mask anymore.Copy !req
383. Behold, the masked dancer
is me, Bart.Copy !req
384. It is I who have won
your acclaim.Copy !req
385. Bart does ballet!Copy !req
386. He dances like girls!Copy !req
387. Ha, ha!Copy !req
388. Go ahead and laugh,Copy !req
389. but I took a chance and did
something I wanted to do.Copy !req
390. And if that makes me a sissy,
well, then, I guess I'm a sissy.Copy !req
391. He's a sissy.Copy !req
392. Let's rush him.Copy !req
393. Yeah, let's get him!Copy !req
394. Come on!Copy !req
395. After him, go!Copy !req
396. There he is!
There, right there!Copy !req
397. Bart, use the ballet.Copy !req
398. Leap, leap like
you've never leapt before.Copy !req
399. Looks like he took
a pretty bad spill.Copy !req
400. Well, as long as he's hurt.Copy !req
401. Bart, I am so proud of you.Copy !req
402. You've shown
a sensitive side of yourselfCopy !req
403. that can never be erased.Copy !req
404. From this day forward,
we are kindred spirits.Copy !req
405. Why did she just leave me hereCopy !req
406. when I clearly need
medical attention?Copy !req
407. Stupid driving test
at the stupid D.M.V.Copy !req
408. where stupid Patty
and stupid Selma work.Copy !req
409. Sometimes,
I think God is teasing me,Copy !req
410. just like he teased Moses
in the desert.Copy !req
411. Tested, Homer.
God tested Moses.Copy !req
412. And try to be nice
to my sisters.Copy !req
413. Very hard on me to have you
fighting all the time.Copy !req
414. Okay, Marge.
I'll get along with them.Copy !req
415. Then, I will hug some snakes.Copy !req
416. Yes, I will hug and kiss
some poisonous snakes!Copy !req
417. Now, that's sarcasm.Copy !req
418. Well, well, well.
Look who needs us againCopy !req
419. to get his Chauffeur's License.Copy !req
420. Look, all I ask
is that you be fair.Copy !req
421. Did not adjust side mirror...
Minus one point.Copy !req
422. Failed to check blind
spot... minus two points.Copy !req
423. You won't be happy till my family
thinks I'm a loser, will ya?Copy !req
424. You are a loser, Homer.Copy !req
425. And we're winners.
Ya gotta learn that.Copy !req
426. Seat belt twisted...
Minus one point.Copy !req
427. Nagging the driver...
Minus ten points for you!Copy !req
428. Grazed a cone...
Minus five points.Copy !req
429. Being a jerk...
Minus a million points.Copy !req
430. - D!
- One more wrong answer,Copy !req
431. and Homer flunks another
of life's little tests.Copy !req
432. And what's this?Copy !req
433. Someone didn't fill in
a circle all the way.Copy !req
434. Boy.
That felt good.Copy !req
435. Let me try.
Let me try.Copy !req
436. Yeah.
Boy.Copy !req
437. That was so sweet.Copy !req
438. - So Homer, how did you do?
- Well, I...Copy !req
439. Ladies, please don't
tell me you're smokingCopy !req
440. in a government buildingCopy !req
441. because that is precisely
the kind of infractionCopy !req
442. that can cost a couple
of sisters their promotion.Copy !req
443. - Yeah, what?
- You mean...Copy !req
444. I'll never forgive myself
for this.Copy !req
445. Wait a minute.Copy !req
446. Those are yours, sir?Copy !req
447. Yes.Copy !req
448. I am in flavor country.Copy !req
449. Both of them?Copy !req
450. It's a big country.Copy !req
451. Ladies, I apologize.Copy !req
452. And you, sir, are worse than Hitler.Copy !req
453. Homer, I'm...Copy !req
454. I'm speechless.
You just saved our hides.Copy !req
455. Please, on top of everything else,
don't make me picture your hides.Copy !req
456. That's a wonderful thing
you did for my sisters.Copy !req
457. I didn't do it for them.Copy !req
458. I did it for you, Marge.Copy !req
459. I'd kill for you.Copy !req
460. Please ask me to kill for you.Copy !req
461. No, Homey.
You see?Copy !req
462. This is the stuff
I've been telling you aboutCopy !req
463. that you never see.Copy !req
464. Homer...Copy !req
465. We're... sorry.Copy !req
466. If there's anything
we can do to make it up...Copy !req
467. - Call off the debt?
- Or, say we could let youCopy !req
468. pass your driver's test.Copy !req
469. - Call off the debt?
Well...Copy !req
470. Debt's off. Let's go, Marge.
Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
471. Shh!Copy !req
472. ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.Copy !req