1. D'oh!Copy !req
2. Huh?Copy !req
3. Good morning, sir.
Care for some coffee?Copy !req
4. No. The promise of a new day
is more than enough exhilaration for me.Copy !req
5. Smithers, coffee.Copy !req
6. Ah! We need some excitement
around here.Copy !req
7. - Chinese checkers or domestic, sir?
- No, no.Copy !req
8. Something fun. Something the men
will enjoy, like a safety drill.Copy !req
9. But what kind?Copy !req
10. Uh, "Meltdown Alert"?
"Mad Dog Drill"?Copy !req
11. "Blimp Attack"? Ah!Copy !req
12. I think a good
old-fashioned fire drill today!Copy !req
13. - [Murmuring, Shouting]Copy !req
14. All right.
Popcorn's ready.Copy !req
15. Hey! That's the fire alarm!Copy !req
16. We gotta get outta here!Copy !req
17. Wait for me!
Come on! Come on! Come on!Copy !req
18. - [Yelling, Shouting]
- Get out of my way!Copy !req
19. Uh- Uh- Hmm.Copy !req
20. Mmm.Copy !req
21. Fire, fire, fire, fire,
fire, fire, fire, fire!Copy !req
22. Is it supposed to take this long?Copy !req
23. What's a good time for
a mass evacuation of the entire plant?Copy !req
24. - Forty-five seconds.
- What's our time so far?Copy !req
25. I don't know, sir. This stopwatch
only goes up to 15 minutes.Copy !req
26. Damnation! What kind of
slow coaches do I have working for me?Copy !req
27. Ah. Here comes one
of our fellows now.Copy !req
28. I think I won, Mr. Burns.Copy !req
29. Yes, you won, all right.Copy !req
30. - You won more than you bargained for.
- Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
31. What a disgraceful display!Copy !req
32. I've seen more orderly behavior
in a Ritz Brothers film.Copy !req
33. You all need a serious lesson
in teamwork.Copy !req
34. Maybe he does, but I don't.Copy !req
35. - Hey, you take that back!
- No! You take that back!Copy !req
36. Hit him, Carl!
You too, Lenny!Copy !req
37. D'oh!Copy !req
38. So Burns is gonna make us all go on a stupid
corporate retreat up in the mountains...Copy !req
39. to learn about teamwork...Copy !req
40. which means we'll have to cancel
our plans to hang around here.Copy !req
41. - Teamwork is overrated.
- Huh?Copy !req
42. Think about it. I mean,
what team was Babe Ruth on?Copy !req
43. - Who knows?
- [Lisa, Marge] Yankees.Copy !req
44. Sharing is a bunch of bull too.
And helping others.Copy !req
45. And what's all this crap
I've been hearing about tolerance?Copy !req
46. Hmm. Your ideas
are intriguing to me...Copy !req
47. and I wish to subscribe
to your newsletter.Copy !req
48. But I think we have to go
on the retreat anyway.Copy !req
49. - Well, here we are.Copy !req
50. All right.
Let me start off by telling you...Copy !req
51. this will not be
a walk in the park.Copy !req
52. This will be the most arduous
and backbreaking weekend of your life.Copy !req
53. I cannot overemphasize the dangers which-
Did you bring your family, Simpson?Copy !req
54. Uh, yes, sir.
I thought I was supposed to.Copy !req
55. Imbecile! Simpson, your family
will have to remain here.Copy !req
56. - Oh, man!
- Oh!Copy !req
57. Don't worry, kids. This is a national park.
We can have lots of fun.Copy !req
58. I'm afraid that's no longer true, ma'am.Copy !req
59. Budget cutbacks have forced us to eliminate
anything the least bit entertaining.Copy !req
60. Well, uh, see ya.Copy !req
61. Each two-man team will work its way
through the wilderness...Copy !req
62. to a cabin hidden
somewhere on this mountain.Copy !req
63. The routes are treacherous,
so use your maps.Copy !req
64. - Uh, I lost my map.
- You haven't been issued a map yet.Copy !req
65. When you arrive at the cabin,
there will be a congratulatory party...Copy !req
66. with sandwiches and
moderately priced champagne.Copy !req
67. Now, as an added incentive...Copy !req
68. the second-to-last team
to arrive at the cabin...Copy !req
69. will receive an hilarious
"World's Worst Employee" trophy.Copy !req
70. Hey, this sounds like fun.Copy !req
71. - And the last team to arrive will be fired.
- Uh-oh.Copy !req
72. And to show that
I'm not playing favorites...Copy !req
73. both Smithers and I
will be participating.Copy !req
74. Who knows? I might be
the unlucky one who gets fired.Copy !req
75. Not bloody likely.Copy !req
76. - I've placed all your names in this hat.
- Ooh!Copy !req
77. Thank you. Now, pair off
as I draw your names.Copy !req
78. Lenny and Carl.Copy !req
79. Aw, nuts! I mean, um-
Aw, nuts!Copy !req
80. Fong and Sutroy.Copy !req
81. Kimball and Dawson.Copy !req
82. Aimee and Drucker.Copy !req
83. Simpson and... Burns?Copy !req
84. Oh!Copy !req
85. Quiet, you fool!Copy !req
86. You're on the one team
that can't possibly be fired.Copy !req
87. - Oh.
- Sir, this can't be right.Copy !req
88. You assured me this drawing
was rigged so we'd be teammates.Copy !req
89. Yes. Well, frankly,
you've been a bit of a pill lately.Copy !req
90. Why do we always fight on vacation?Copy !req
91. Well, there's only one name left.Copy !req
92. Whoever it is
will be paired with me.Copy !req
93. And that person is... Waylon Smithers.
Perfect. That's just perfect!Copy !req
94. Prepare for the adventure
of a lifetime...Copy !req
95. as you fight for survival against
the merciless forces of nature.Copy !req
96. To your marks!
Get set!Copy !req
97. - Go!Copy !req
98. Ready, Mr. Burns?Copy !req
99. One moment.Copy !req
100. Only who can prevent forest fires?Copy !req
101. You pressed "You," referring to me.Copy !req
102. That is incorrect.
The correct answer is you.Copy !req
103. Mom, can Lisa and I
play outside away from the bear?Copy !req
104. Okay. But when you start getting
apple-cheeked, it's time to come in.Copy !req
105. Huh?Copy !req
106. How could you do this to me, Mr. Burns,
after all I've done for you?Copy !req
107. Why, if you were here, I'd kick you
right in your bony old behind!Copy !req
108. Bony old behind! Bony old behind!Copy !req
109. Bony old behind!
Bony old behind!Copy !req
110. Why, thank you, Simpson.
I have been watching my figure.Copy !req
111. Lise! Lise! Come here! I found
two snowflakes that are exactly alike!Copy !req
112. Really? Let me see!Copy !req
113. Ow!Copy !req
114. - Oops. Sorry.
- Hi, Mr. Smithers.Copy !req
115. Oh, great. It's the Bobbsey Twins.
Well, take your prying eyes elsewhere!Copy !req
116. Oh, I'm sorry.
It hasn't been a good day.Copy !req
117. If I don't get to the top of the mountain
real soon, I could get fired.Copy !req
118. - We'll help you.
- I have a watch with a minute hand.Copy !req
119. All right, you can come.
What time is it?Copy !req
120. 12:80.
No, wait.Copy !req
121. - Wait. What comes after 12?
- One.Copy !req
122. - No. After 12.Copy !req
123. Tell me, Simpson...Copy !req
124. if an opportunity arose
for taking a small shortcut...Copy !req
125. you wouldn't be averse
to taking it, would you?Copy !req
126. - Oh, not as such.
- Neither would I.Copy !req
127. I've always felt that there's
far too much hysteria these days...Copy !req
128. about so-called cheating.Copy !req
129. - Yes. A lot of hysteria.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
130. If you can take advantage
of a situation in some way...Copy !req
131. it's your duty
as an American to do it.Copy !req
132. Why should the race
always be to the swift?Copy !req
133. Or theJumble
to the quick-witted?Copy !req
134. Should they be allowed to win merely
because of the gifts God gave them?Copy !req
135. Well, I say cheating is a gift
man gives himself.Copy !req
136. Mr. Burns, I insist that we cheat.Copy !req
137. Excellent.
And to do so...Copy !req
138. I propose we travel by...
horseless sleigh.Copy !req
139. Wow. You sure know
how to cheat, Mr. Burns.Copy !req
140. Yes, well, I'm older than you.Copy !req
141. You know, Simpson, you're not as objectionable
as you seemed when we first met.Copy !req
142. No, sir, I am not.Copy !req
143. Bart? Lisa?Copy !req
144. Hello?Copy !req
145. The story of
our national parks begins in 1 (72.Copy !req
146. Perhaps we should let
John Muir tell the tale.Copy !req
147. Excuse me, sir?
I can't find my children.Copy !req
148. - Have you checked the woods?
- No.Copy !req
149. Hmm. Follow me.Copy !req
150. We'll take the chairlift.
It'll give us...Copy !req
151. an eagle-eye view of the area
directly beneath the chairlift.Copy !req
152. Ooh!Copy !req
153. Well, I won't lie to you, ma'am. Our chances
of finding your children are slim to nil.Copy !req
154. - Hi, Mom!
- There they are!Copy !req
155. - Let me down here.
- Sorry. There's no way off till we get to the top.Copy !req
156. And even then,
it's sort of tricky.Copy !req
157. All right, kids!Copy !req
158. We'll meet you at the top!
Just be careful!Copy !req
159. I'm actually a little
more concerned about us.Copy !req
160. Um, do you know how to weld?Copy !req
161. That worked so well.Copy !req
162. We have several hours before the others arrive.
What say we get comfy?Copy !req
163. Now we have electricity.
This propane tank will supply us with heat.Copy !req
164. And this doorknob,
properly turned...Copy !req
165. will allow us access
to the cabin.Copy !req
166. No going through the window for us.Copy !req
167. Is there maple syrup in this one?Copy !req
168. There isn't any food
in any of these trees.Copy !req
169. Please, Bart, we've gotta hurry.
I can't be the last one to reach the cabin.Copy !req
170. Hey, I'm not gonna get fired.
Is there any gold in this mountain?Copy !req
171. - It doesn't matter!
- I'll check.Copy !req
172. Mr. Smithers! Mr Smithers!
I found another hurt shrew.Copy !req
173. - I think this one has a twisted ankle.
- Twisted-Copy !req
174. Aren't there any healthy animals
in this forest?Copy !req
175. Well, I don't suppose the others
will mind us starting the party early...Copy !req
176. Homie, old boy.Copy !req
177. - More champagne?Copy !req
178. You know, Mr. Burns,
you're the richest guy I know.Copy !req
179. - Way richer than Lenny.
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
180. But I'd trade it all for a little more.Copy !req
181. Oh, these sure are
comfortable chairs.Copy !req
182. Oh, yes, sitting.
The great leveler.Copy !req
183. From the mightiest pharaoh
to the lowliest peasant...Copy !req
184. who doesn't enjoy a good sit?Copy !req
185. Oh, man, you are so right.Copy !req
186. - Did you ever sit like this?
- Yes, yes, that's it.Copy !req
187. Oh, I could go
for one of those right now.Copy !req
188. Ah!Copy !req
189. The only hard part is getting up.Copy !req
190. Why get up?Copy !req
191. Here's a little move
I've been tinkering with.Copy !req
192. Say I want that bowl of dip.Copy !req
193. - Why, you'd have to get up!
- Oh?Copy !req
194. Sir, I am in your debt.Copy !req
195. Use it wisely, my friend.Copy !req
196. - Hey, did you hear something?
- No.Copy !req
197. - Hmm. Did I?
- I don't know!Copy !req
198. Hope that wasn't an avalanche.
Be a chum and take a look-see.Copy !req
199. You got it, buddy.Copy !req
200. Oh.Copy !req
201. Isn't there any way out of here?Copy !req
202. I don't see one.
Unless-Copy !req
203. No. There's no way out.Copy !req
204. There must be some way
to contact the outside world.Copy !req
205. Ah! The telegraph!Copy !req
206. - S.0.S.Copy !req
207. Avalanche.Copy !req
208. Send help.Copy !req
209. According to the map,
the cabin should be right here.Copy !req
210. Hey, maybe there is no cabin.Copy !req
211. - Maybe it's one of them, uh, metaphorical things.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
212. Like, maybe the cabin is
the place inside each of us...Copy !req
213. created by our goodwill
and teamwork.Copy !req
214. Oh!Copy !req
215. Nah. They said there'd be sandwiches.Copy !req
216. Simpson, I have a confession.Copy !req
217. I'm not quite the tunnel-digger
I made myself out to be.Copy !req
218. - You can supervise me.
- All right, good.Copy !req
219. Let's dig. That's right.
Dig some more.Copy !req
220. Oh, we make quite a duo.
Burns and Associate.Copy !req
221. No, no! What am I thinking?
Burns and Teammate.Copy !req
222. - We made it, old friend!
- We sure did.Copy !req
223. - Huzzah!
- Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
224. D'oh!Copy !req
225. What happened?Copy !req
226. I think when we yelled,
we caused another avalanche.Copy !req
227. We should be careful...Copy !req
228. not to speak...Copy !req
229. unless it's...Copy !req
230. absolutely...Copy !req
231. positively necessary.Copy !req
232. Shh.Copy !req
233. You're causing...Copy !req
234. more avalanches.Copy !req
235. I...Copy !req
236. think...Copy !req
237. they've...Copy !req
238. stopped.Copy !req
239. Let's go.Copy !req
240. Oh! Those last three avalanches
were your fault, Simpson.Copy !req
241. - So what?
- Sew buttons!Copy !req
242. There's not another place for miles.Copy !req
243. This must be the cabin
Burns was talkin' about.Copy !req
244. - Well, we made it here first,
all thanks to teamwork.
- Yeah, my teamwork.Copy !req
245. We must be covered
by a thousand feet of snow.Copy !req
246. It could be days
before they find us.Copy !req
247. Mmm. No books,
no radio, no board games.Copy !req
248. A Bazooka Joe comic.Copy !req
249. I heard that one 75 years ago.Copy !req
250. We could build snowmen.Copy !req
251. No, I have a better idea.Copy !req
252. We could build
real men out of snow.Copy !req
253. Oh. Okay.Copy !req
254. Mr. Smithers! Mr. Smithers!
That moose is on fire!Copy !req
255. Fine. Good. I don't care anymore.
I'm the last one here.Copy !req
256. - You kids cost me my job.
- You ain't last, Mr. Smithers.Copy !req
257. Thank goodness.Copy !req
258. Yeah, Burnsie and Homer
never made it.Copy !req
259. - Mr. Burns is still out there?
- What about our dad?Copy !req
260. Ah! 206 bones...Copy !req
261. 50 miles of small intestine,
full, pouting lips.Copy !req
262. Why, this fellow
is less a snowman than a god!Copy !req
263. Well, we've managed to stave off
cabin fever for a few hours.Copy !req
264. l- I think we should
dress the snowmen.Copy !req
265. Agreed.Copy !req
266. Look at them,
smug and secure in their finery...Copy !req
267. mocking us.Copy !req
268. They're just snowmen, Mr. Burns.Copy !req
269. Ah, snowmen have peepers. Peepers to watch-
to watch for a moment of weakness.Copy !req
270. And then, baf, comes the knock
on the head, and we're down!Copy !req
271. - What do we do?
- Oh, wouldn't you like to know?Copy !req
272. Hey, what is going on here?
Who are you people?Copy !req
273. This is a lookout post.
Where is Ranger McFadden?Copy !req
274. Well, I was just happy to see
so many nice people.Copy !req
275. Quiet, you drunk.
Where's Ranger McFadden?Copy !req
276. - Right here, sir, right behind the drunk.
- Wait a minute.Copy !req
277. If this is a ranger station,
we must be in the wrong place.Copy !req
278. The only other cabin
is right over... there.Copy !req
279. - Huh.Copy !req
280. Look at all these avalanches.
You think they could've buried the cabin?Copy !req
281. Well, I'll tell you one thing.
They didn't come here...Copy !req
282. for the Mountain Music Festival,
March 14-18.Copy !req
283. - Mom, Dad and Mr. Burns
could be trapped in there!Copy !req
284. I'm trapped with a madman.Copy !req
285. Look at him staring into me...Copy !req
286. filling my mind
with paranoid thoughts.Copy !req
287. Mmm. Look at his eyes.
He's trying to hypnotize me!Copy !req
288. But not in the good Las Vegas way.Copy !req
289. I know what
he's up to. He's thinking of killing me...Copy !req
290. then riding my carcass
down the mountain to safety.Copy !req
291. He's truly gone mad
if he's thinking that.Copy !req
292. Well, he can't kill me if I kill him first!Copy !req
293. I'll kill you,
you bloated museum of treachery!Copy !req
294. You and what army?Copy !req
295. Stand back! I have powers!Copy !req
296. Uh, political powers!Copy !req
297. - It's showtime!Copy !req
298. Give me- Let go off that-Copy !req
299. Oh, God!
My head.Copy !req
300. - Homer!
- Burnsie!Copy !req
301. Okay, search party,
before we set out...Copy !req
302. let's take a moment
to humor the children.Copy !req
303. Kids, your father's gonna be just fine.Copy !req
304. Okay, everybody, put on
your corpse-handling gloves.Copy !req
305. We've got two frozen bodies
buried somewhere in this mountain.Copy !req
306. Did you hear that, Lise?
Dad's gonna be just fine.Copy !req
307. Look! What's that?Copy !req
308. We'll be dashed to pieces!Copy !req
309. Oh, Lord, protect this rocket house
and all who dwell within the rocket house.Copy !req
310. - It's them, all right.
- We're over here, Homie!Copy !req
311. Oh. Something's wrong with its brakes.
Gangway!Copy !req
312. - Marge, kids.Copy !req
313. Have you people
forgotten our little competition?Copy !req
314. Last one in the cabin is fired.Copy !req
315. - You're fired, Lenny.
- Aw, nuts!Copy !req
316. - So, how did we do?Copy !req
317. - It's a new record, sir.
- Outstanding.Copy !req
318. Well, perhaps all of this
has been worthwhile.Copy !req
319. - Did you all learn about teamwork?
- Yes.Copy !req
320. Excellent. In that case,
no one will be fired after all.Copy !req
321. That old goat can't fire me.Copy !req
322. I'm gonna give him a piece of my-Copy !req
323. - Aw, nuts!Copy !req
324. Well, Simpson, I must say...Copy !req
325. once you've been through
something like that with a person...Copy !req
326. you never want to see that person again.Copy !req
327. You said it, ya weirdo!Copy !req
328. - Shh!Copy !req