1. D'oh!Copy !req
2. - Aah!
- (tires screech)Copy !req
3. Huh?Copy !req
4. Good morning, sir.Copy !req
5. Care for some coffee?Copy !req
6. No, the promise
of a new dayCopy !req
7. is more than enough
exhilaration for me.Copy !req
8. Smithers?Copy !req
9. Coffee.Copy !req
10. Ah!Copy !req
11. We need some excitement
around here.Copy !req
12. Chinese checkers
or domestic, sir?Copy !req
13. No, no, something fun—Copy !req
14. Something the men will enjoy,
like a safety drill.Copy !req
15. But what kind?Copy !req
16. Eh, meltdown alert?
Mad dog drill?Copy !req
17. Blimp attack?Copy !req
18. Ah, I think a good old-fashioned
fire drill today.Copy !req
19. All right,
popcorn's ready.Copy !req
20. Hey,
that's the fire alarm.Copy !req
21. We got to get
out of here.Copy !req
22. Wait for me.Copy !req
23. Come on, come on,
come on!Copy !req
24. Look out!Copy !req
25. Get out of my way!Copy !req
26. Huh.Copy !req
27. Mmm.Copy !req
28. Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
Fire! Fire!Copy !req
29. Is it supposed
to take this long?Copy !req
30. What's a good timeCopy !req
31. for a mass evacuation
of the entire plant?Copy !req
32. 45 seconds.Copy !req
33. And what's our time so far?Copy !req
34. I don't know, sir.Copy !req
35. This stopwatch only
goes up to 15 minutes.Copy !req
36. Damnation.Copy !req
37. What kind of slow coaches
do I have working for me?Copy !req
38. Ah, here comes
one of our fellows now.Copy !req
39. I think I won,
Mr. Burns.Copy !req
40. Yes, you won,
all right.Copy !req
41. You won more
than you bargained for.Copy !req
42. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
43. What a disgraceful display.Copy !req
44. I've seen more orderly behavior
in a Ritz brothers film.Copy !req
45. You all need
a serious lesson in teamwork.Copy !req
46. Maybe he does,
but I don't.Copy !req
47. Hey,
you take that back.Copy !req
48. No, you take
that back.Copy !req
49. Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
50. Hit him, Carl!
You, too, Lenny!Copy !req
51. So Burns is going
to make us allCopy !req
52. go on a stupid
corporate retreatCopy !req
53. up in the mountains
to learn about teamwork,Copy !req
54. which means we'll have
to cancel our plansCopy !req
55. to hang around here.Copy !req
56. - Teamwork is overrated.
- Huh?Copy !req
57. Think about it. I mean,
what team was Babe Ruth on?Copy !req
58. - Who knows?
Yankees.Copy !req
59. Sharing is a
bunch of bull, too.Copy !req
60. And helping others.Copy !req
61. And what's all this crapCopy !req
62. I've been hearing
about tolerance?Copy !req
63. Hmm. Your ideas
are intriguing to me,Copy !req
64. and I wish to subscribe
to your newsletter.Copy !req
65. But I think we have to go
on the retreat anyway.Copy !req
66. Well, here we are.Copy !req
67. All right,
let me start offCopy !req
68. by telling you this will not
be a walk in the park.Copy !req
69. This will be
the most arduousCopy !req
70. and backbreaking
weekend of your life.Copy !req
71. I cannot overemphasize
the dangers which...Copy !req
72. Did you bring your family,
Simpson?Copy !req
73. Yes, sir.
I thought I was supposed to.Copy !req
74. Ah, imbecile.Copy !req
75. Simpson, your family
will have to remain here.Copy !req
76. - Aw, man.
- Aw...Copy !req
77. Don't worry, kids.
This is a national park.Copy !req
78. We can have lots of fun.Copy !req
79. Oh, I'm afraid that's
no longer true, ma'am.Copy !req
80. Budget cutbacks
have forced usCopy !req
81. to eliminate anything
the least bit entertaining.Copy !req
82. Well, uh, see you.Copy !req
83. Each two-man team will work
its way through the wildernessCopy !req
84. to a cabin hidden somewhere
on this mountain.Copy !req
85. The routes are treacherous,
so use your maps.Copy !req
86. I lost my map.Copy !req
87. You haven't been
issued a map yet.Copy !req
88. When you arrive
at the cabin,Copy !req
89. there will be
a congratulatory partyCopy !req
90. with sandwiches and
moderately-priced champagne.Copy !req
91. Now, as an added incentive,Copy !req
92. the second to last team
to arrive at the cabinCopy !req
93. will receive
an hilariousCopy !req
94. "World's Worst
Employee" Trophy.Copy !req
95. Hey, this sounds
like fun.Copy !req
96. And the last team
to arrive will be fired.Copy !req
97. (chuckles)
Uh-oh.Copy !req
98. And to show that
I'm not playing favorites,Copy !req
99. both Smithers and I
will be participating.Copy !req
100. Who knows? I might be
the unlucky one who gets fired.Copy !req
101. (to himself)
Not bloody likely.Copy !req
102. I've placed all your
names in this hat.Copy !req
103. - Ooh!
- Thank you.Copy !req
104. Now, pair off
as I draw your names.Copy !req
105. Lenny and... Carl.Copy !req
106. Aw, nuts.
I mean, um...Copy !req
107. Aw, nuts.Copy !req
108. Fong and... Zutroy.Copy !req
109. Kimball and... Dawson.Copy !req
110. Haney and... Drucker.Copy !req
111. Simpson and... Burns?Copy !req
112. Quiet, you fool.Copy !req
113. You're on the one team
that can't possibly be fired.Copy !req
114. Oh.Copy !req
115. Sir, this can't be right.Copy !req
116. You assured me
this drawing was riggedCopy !req
117. so we'd be teammates.Copy !req
118. Yes, well, frankly,Copy !req
119. you've been
bit of a pill lately.Copy !req
120. Why do we always
fight on vacation?Copy !req
121. Now, there's only
one name left.Copy !req
122. Whoever it is
will be paired with me.Copy !req
123. And that person is...Copy !req
124. Waylon Smithers.Copy !req
125. Perfect.
That's just perfect.Copy !req
126. Prepare for the
adventure of a lifetimeCopy !req
127. as you fight for survivalCopy !req
128. against the merciless
forces of nature.Copy !req
129. Toe your marks...Copy !req
130. Get set...Copy !req
131. Go!Copy !req
132. Ready, Mr. Burns?Copy !req
133. One moment.Copy !req
134. Only who can prevent
forest fires?Copy !req
135. You pressed "You,"
referring to me.Copy !req
136. That is incorrect.
The correct answer is you.Copy !req
137. Mom, can Lisa and I
play outsideCopy !req
138. away from the bear?Copy !req
139. Okay, but when you start
getting apple-cheeked,Copy !req
140. it's time to come in.Copy !req
141. How could you do this
to me, Mr. Burns?Copy !req
142. After all
I've done for you.Copy !req
143. Why, if you were here,Copy !req
144. I'd kick you right
in your bony old behind!Copy !req
145. (echoing)
Bony old behind!Copy !req
146. Why, thank you, Simpson.Copy !req
147. I have been
watching my figure.Copy !req
148. Lise, Lise, come here.Copy !req
149. I found two snowflakes
that are exactly alike.Copy !req
150. Really?
Let me see.Copy !req
151. Ow!Copy !req
152. Oops. Sorry.Copy !req
153. Hi, Mr. Smithers.Copy !req
154. Oh, great.
It's the Bobbsey twins.Copy !req
155. Well, take your
prying eyes elsewhere.Copy !req
156. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
157. It hasn't been
a good day.Copy !req
158. If I don't get to the top
of the mountain real soon,Copy !req
159. - I could get fired.
- We'll help you.Copy !req
160. I have a watch
with a minute hand.Copy !req
161. All right,
you can come.Copy !req
162. What time is it?Copy !req
163. 12:80.Copy !req
164. No, wait.Copy !req
165. Wait.
What comes after 12?Copy !req
166. One.Copy !req
167. No, after 12.Copy !req
168. Ohh...Copy !req
169. Tell me, Simpson,Copy !req
170. if an opportunity arose
for taking a small shortcut,Copy !req
171. you wouldn't be averse
to taking it, would you?Copy !req
172. Um, not as such.Copy !req
173. Neither would I.Copy !req
174. I've always felt that
there's far too muchCopy !req
175. hysteria these days
about so-called cheating.Copy !req
176. - Yes, a lot of hysteria.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
177. If you can take advantage
of a situation in some way,Copy !req
178. it's your duty
as an American to do it.Copy !req
179. Why should the race
always be to the swiftCopy !req
180. or the jumble
to the quick-witted?Copy !req
181. Should they win merely because
of the gifts God gave them?Copy !req
182. Well, I say cheating is
the gift man gives himself.Copy !req
183. Mr. Burns, I insist
that we cheat.Copy !req
184. Excellent.Copy !req
185. And to do so,
I propose we travel by...Copy !req
186. horseless sleigh.Copy !req
187. Wow. You sure know
how to cheat, Mr. Burns.Copy !req
188. Yes, well,
I'm older than you.Copy !req
189. You know, Simpson
you're not as objectionableCopy !req
190. as you seemed
when we first met.Copy !req
191. No, sir, I am not.Copy !req
192. Bart?Copy !req
193. Lisa?Copy !req
194. Hello?Copy !req
195. The story of our
national parks begins in 1872.Copy !req
196. Perhaps we should let John Muir
tell the tale.Copy !req
197. Oh, yeah. I remember...Copy !req
198. Excuse me, sir.Copy !req
199. I can't find my children.Copy !req
200. Have you checked the woods?Copy !req
201. - No.
- Hmm.Copy !req
202. Follow me.Copy !req
203. We'll take
the chair lift.Copy !req
204. It'll give us
an eagle-eye viewCopy !req
205. of the area directly
beneath the chair lift.Copy !req
206. Whoo!Copy !req
207. Well, I won't lie
to you, ma'am.Copy !req
208. Our chances of finding
your childrenCopy !req
209. are slim to nil.Copy !req
210. Hi, Mom.Copy !req
211. There they are!Copy !req
212. Let me down here.Copy !req
213. Sorry. There's no way off
till we get to the top.Copy !req
214. And even then,
it's sort of tricky.Copy !req
215. All right, kids,
we'll meet you at the top!Copy !req
216. Just be careful!Copy !req
217. Uh, actually, I'm a little
more concerned about us.Copy !req
218. Um, do you know
how to weld?Copy !req
219. That worked so well.Copy !req
220. We have several hours
before the others arrive.Copy !req
221. What say we get comfy?Copy !req
222. Now we have electricity.Copy !req
223. This propane tank
will supply us with heat.Copy !req
224. And this doorknob,
properly turned,Copy !req
225. will allow us
access to the cabin.Copy !req
226. No going through
the window for us.Copy !req
227. Is there maple syrup
in this one?Copy !req
228. There isn't any food
in any of these trees.Copy !req
229. Please, Bart,
we've got to hurry.Copy !req
230. I can't be the last one
to reach the cabin.Copy !req
231. Hey, I'm not going
to get fired.Copy !req
232. Is there any gold
in this mountain?Copy !req
233. (sputtering)
It doesn't matter.Copy !req
234. I'll check.Copy !req
235. Mr. Smithers!
Mr. Smithers!Copy !req
236. I found another
hurt shrew.Copy !req
237. I think this one
has a twisted ankle.Copy !req
238. Twisted ank...Copy !req
239. Aren't there any
healthy animals in this forest?Copy !req
240. Well, I don't suppose
the others will mind usCopy !req
241. starting the party early,
Homie, old boy.Copy !req
242. More champagne?Copy !req
243. You know, Mr. Burns,Copy !req
244. you're the richest guy
I know.Copy !req
245. Way richer than Lenny.Copy !req
246. Oh, yes, but I'd trade it
all for a little more.Copy !req
247. Oh, these sure are
comfortable chairs.Copy !req
248. Oh, yes, sitting.
The great leveler.Copy !req
249. From the mightiest pharaoh
to the lowliest peasant,Copy !req
250. who doesn't
enjoy a good sit?Copy !req
251. Oh, man,
you are so right.Copy !req
252. Did you ever
sit like this?Copy !req
253. Yes, yes,
that's it.Copy !req
254. Oh, I could go
for one of those right now.Copy !req
255. Ahh!Copy !req
256. The only hard part
is getting up.Copy !req
257. Why get up?Copy !req
258. Here's a little move
I've been tinkering with.Copy !req
259. Say I want
that bowl of dip.Copy !req
260. Why, you'd
have to get up.Copy !req
261. Oh?Copy !req
262. Sir, I am in your debt.Copy !req
263. Use it wisely,
my friend.Copy !req
264. Ah! Oh!Copy !req
265. Hey, did you
hear something?Copy !req
266. - No.
- Hmm. Did I?Copy !req
267. I don't know.Copy !req
268. Hope that wasn't
an avalanche.Copy !req
269. Be a chum
and take a look-see.Copy !req
270. You got it, buddy.Copy !req
271. Oh!Copy !req
272. Isn't there any way
out of here?Copy !req
273. I don't see one.
Unless...Copy !req
274. No, there's no way out.Copy !req
275. There must be
some wayCopy !req
276. to contact
the outside world.Copy !req
277. Ah, the telegraph.Copy !req
278. S.O.S.Copy !req
279. Avalanche...Copy !req
280. Send...Copy !req
281. Help.Copy !req
282. According to the map,
the cabin should be right here.Copy !req
283. Hey, maybe
there is no cabin.Copy !req
284. Maybe it's one of them
metaphorical things.Copy !req
285. Oh, yeah, yeah...
like maybe the cabinCopy !req
286. is the place
inside each of usCopy !req
287. created by our goodwill
and teamwork.Copy !req
288. Oh.Copy !req
289. Uh, they said
there would be sandwiches.Copy !req
290. Simpson,
I have a confession.Copy !req
291. I'm not quite
the tunnel-diggerCopy !req
292. I made myself out to be.Copy !req
293. You can supervise me.Copy !req
294. All right, good.
Let's dig.Copy !req
295. That's right.
Dig some more.Copy !req
296. Oh, we make quite a duo—
Burns and associate.Copy !req
297. No, no,
what am I thinking?Copy !req
298. Burns and teammate.Copy !req
299. We made it,
old friend.Copy !req
300. We sure did.Copy !req
301. - Huzzah!
- Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
302. D'oh!Copy !req
303. What happened?Copy !req
304. I think when we yelledCopy !req
305. we caused
another avalanche.Copy !req
306. (quietly and slowly)
We... should... be... carefulCopy !req
307. not... to... speak...Copy !req
308. unless... it's...
absolutely...Copy !req
309. pos-i-tively...Copy !req
310. necessary.Copy !req
311. Shh.Copy !req
312. You're... causingCopy !req
313. more... avalanches.Copy !req
314. - I...
- (rumbling)Copy !req
315. - Think...
- (rumbling)Copy !req
316. - They've... stopped.
- (rumbling)Copy !req
317. Let's go.Copy !req
318. Oh!Copy !req
319. Those last three avalanches
were your fault, Simpson.Copy !req
320. So what?Copy !req
321. Sew buttons.Copy !req
322. There's not another
place for miles.Copy !req
323. This must be the cabin
Burns was talking about.Copy !req
324. Well, we made it
here first.Copy !req
325. All thanks
to teamwork.Copy !req
326. Yeah, my teamwork.Copy !req
327. We must be covered
by a thousand feet of snow.Copy !req
328. It could be days
before they find us.Copy !req
329. Mmm, no books, no radio
no board games.Copy !req
330. Ah!
A "Bazooka Joe" Comic!Copy !req
331. Ugh, I heard that one
75 years ago!Copy !req
332. We could build
snowmen.Copy !req
333. No, I have
a better idea.Copy !req
334. We could build real men
out of snow.Copy !req
335. Oh.Copy !req
336. Okay...Copy !req
337. Ah!Copy !req
338. Mr. Smithers, Mr. Smithers!
That moose is on fire!Copy !req
339. Fine. Good.
I don't care anymore.Copy !req
340. I'm the last one here.
You kids cost me my job.Copy !req
341. You ain't last,
Mr. Smithers.Copy !req
342. Ah, thank goodness.Copy !req
343. Yeah, Burnsie and Homer
never made it.Copy !req
344. Mr. Burns is still
out there?Copy !req
345. (gasps)
What about our dad?Copy !req
346. Ah, 206 bones,Copy !req
347. 50 miles of
small intestine,Copy !req
348. full pouting lips.Copy !req
349. Why, this fellow
is less a snowmanCopy !req
350. than a god.Copy !req
351. Well, we've managed
to stave offCopy !req
352. cabin fever
for a few hours.Copy !req
353. Eh, I think we should
dress the snowmen.Copy !req
354. Agreed.Copy !req
355. Look at them.Copy !req
356. Smug and secure
in their finery.Copy !req
357. Mocking us.Copy !req
358. Uh, they're just
snowmen, Mr. Burns.Copy !req
359. Ah, snowmen
have peepers.Copy !req
360. Peepers to watch...Copy !req
361. To watch for a moment
of weakness and, baff!Copy !req
362. Comes the knock on the head
and we're down!Copy !req
363. What do we do?Copy !req
364. Oh, wouldn't you
like to know.Copy !req
365. Hey, what is going on here?
Who are you people?Copy !req
366. This is a lookout post.
Where is ranger McFadden?Copy !req
367. (slurred)
I was just happyCopy !req
368. to see so many
nice people.Copy !req
369. Quiet, you drunk.
Where is ranger McFadden?Copy !req
370. Right here, sir.
Right behind the drunk.Copy !req
371. Wait a minute.Copy !req
372. If this is
a ranger stationCopy !req
373. we must be
in the wrong place.Copy !req
374. Well, the only other
cabin is right over...Copy !req
375. There...Copy !req
376. Huh.Copy !req
377. Look at all
these avalanches.Copy !req
378. Do you think they could
have buried the cabin?Copy !req
379. I'll tell you
one thing:Copy !req
380. They didn't come here for
the mountain music festival.Copy !req
381. March 14th to 18th.Copy !req
382. Mom, Dad and Mr. Burns
could be trapped in there.Copy !req
383. I'm trapped with a madman.Copy !req
384. Look at him.
Staring into me.Copy !req
385. Filling my mind
with paranoid thoughts.Copy !req
386. Mmm. Look at his eyes.Copy !req
387. He's trying to hypnotize meCopy !req
388. but not in the good
Las Vegas way.Copy !req
389. (gasps)
I know what he's up to.Copy !req
390. He's thinking of killing meCopy !req
391. then riding my carcass
down the mountain to safety.Copy !req
392. He's truly gone mad
if he's thinking that.Copy !req
393. Well, he can't kill me
if I kill him first.Copy !req
394. I'll kill youCopy !req
395. you bloated museum
of treachery!Copy !req
396. You and what army?Copy !req
397. Stay back.Copy !req
398. I have powers.Copy !req
399. Political powers!Copy !req
400. It's... showtime!Copy !req
401. Gimme!
Let go of that!Copy !req
402. Oh, God...Copy !req
403. Ah!Copy !req
404. Homer!Copy !req
405. Burnsie!Copy !req
406. Okay, search party,
before we set outCopy !req
407. let's take a moment
to humor the children.Copy !req
408. Kids, your father is
going to be just fine.Copy !req
409. Okay, everybody
put on yourCopy !req
410. corpse-handling gloves.Copy !req
411. We've got two
frozen bodiesCopy !req
412. buried somewhere
in this mountain.Copy !req
413. Did you hear that, Lise?Copy !req
414. Dad's going
to be just fine.Copy !req
415. Look! What's that?Copy !req
416. We'll be dashed to pieces!Copy !req
417. Oh, Lord, protect
this rockethouseCopy !req
418. and all who dwell
within the rockethouse.Copy !req
419. It's them, all right.Copy !req
420. We're over here, Homie!Copy !req
421. Oh, something's wrong
with its brakes!Copy !req
422. Gangway!Copy !req
423. Marge, kids.Copy !req
424. Have you people forgotten
our little competition?Copy !req
425. Last one
in the cabin is fired!Copy !req
426. You're fired, Lenny.Copy !req
427. Aw, nuts!Copy !req
428. So, how did we do?Copy !req
429. It's a new record, sir.Copy !req
430. Outstanding.Copy !req
431. Well, perhaps all of this
has been worthwhile.Copy !req
432. Did you all learn
about teamwork?Copy !req
433. (weakly) Yes.Copy !req
434. Excellent!Copy !req
435. In that caseCopy !req
436. no one will be
fired after all.Copy !req
437. That old goat
can't fire me.Copy !req
438. I'm going to give him
a piece of my mi...Copy !req
439. Aw, nuts!Copy !req
440. Well, Simpson,
I must sayCopy !req
441. once you've been through
something like thatCopy !req
442. with a person you never
want to see that person again.Copy !req
443. You said it,
you weirdo.Copy !req
444. Shh!Copy !req
445. CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.Copy !req