1. D'oh!Copy !req
2. Huh?Copy !req
3. Good morning, sir.
Care for some coffee?Copy !req
4. No. The promise of a new day
is more than enough exhilaration for me.Copy !req
5. Smithers, coffee.Copy !req
6. Ah! We need some excitement
around here.Copy !req
7. - Chinese checkers or domestic, sir?
- No, no.Copy !req
8. Something fun. Something the men
will enjoy, like a safety drill.Copy !req
9. But what kind?Copy !req
10. Uh, "Meltdown Alert"?
"Mad Dog Drill"?Copy !req
11. "Blimp Attack"? Ah!Copy !req
12. I think a good
old-fashioned fire drill today!Copy !req
13. All right.
Popcorn's ready.Copy !req
14. Hey! That's the fire alarm!Copy !req
15. We gotta get outta here!Copy !req
16. Wait for me!
Come on! Come on! Come on!Copy !req
17. - Get out of my way!Copy !req
18. Uh- Uh- Hmm.Copy !req
19. Mmm.Copy !req
20. Fire, fire, fire, fire,
fire, fire, fire, fire!Copy !req
21. Is it supposed to take this long?Copy !req
22. What's a good time for
a mass evacuation of the entire plant?Copy !req
23. - Forty-five seconds.
- What's our time so far?Copy !req
24. I don't know, sir. This stopwatch
only goes up to 15 minutes.Copy !req
25. Damnation! What kind of
slow coaches do I have working for me?Copy !req
26. Ah. Here comes one
of our fellows now.Copy !req
27. I think I won, Mr. Burns.Copy !req
28. Yes, you won, all right.Copy !req
29. - You won more than you bargained for.
- Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
30. What a disgraceful display!Copy !req
31. I've seen more orderly behavior
in a Ritz Brothers film.Copy !req
32. You all need a serious lesson
in teamwork.Copy !req
33. Maybe he does, but I don't.Copy !req
34. - Hey, you take that back!
- No! You take that back!Copy !req
35. Hit him, Carl!
You too, Lenny!Copy !req
36. D'oh!Copy !req
37. So Burns is gonna make us all go on a stupid
corporate retreat up in the mountains...Copy !req
38. to learn about teamwork...Copy !req
39. which means we'll have to cancel
our plans to hang around here.Copy !req
40. - Teamwork is overrated.
- Huh?Copy !req
41. Think about it. I mean,
what team was Babe Ruth on?Copy !req
42. - Who knows?
- Yankees.Copy !req
43. Sharing is a bunch of bull too.
And helping others.Copy !req
44. And what's all this crap
I've been hearing about tolerance?Copy !req
45. Hmm. Your ideas
are intriguing to me...Copy !req
46. and I wish to subscribe
to your newsletter.Copy !req
47. But I think we have to go
on the retreat anyway.Copy !req
48. - Well, here we are.Copy !req
49. All right.
Let me start off by telling you...Copy !req
50. this will not be
a walk in the park.Copy !req
51. This will be the most arduous
and backbreaking weekend of your life.Copy !req
52. I cannot overemphasize the dangers which-
Did you bring your family, Simpson?Copy !req
53. Uh, yes, sir.
I thought I was supposed to.Copy !req
54. Imbecile! Simpson, your family
will have to remain here.Copy !req
55. - Oh, man!
- Oh!Copy !req
56. Don't worry, kids. This is a national park.
We can have lots of fun.Copy !req
57. I'm afraid that's no longer true, ma'am.Copy !req
58. Budget cutbacks have forced us to eliminate
anything the least bit entertaining.Copy !req
59. Well, uh, see ya.Copy !req
60. Each two-man team will work its way
through the wilderness...Copy !req
61. to a cabin hidden
somewhere on this mountain.Copy !req
62. The routes are treacherous,
so use your maps.Copy !req
63. - Uh, I lost my map.
- You haven't been issued a map yet.Copy !req
64. When you arrive at the cabin,
there will be a congratulatory party...Copy !req
65. with sandwiches and
moderately priced champagne.Copy !req
66. Now, as an added incentive...Copy !req
67. the second-to-last team
to arrive at the cabin...Copy !req
68. will receive an hilarious
"World's Worst Employee" trophy.Copy !req
69. Hey, this sounds like fun.Copy !req
70. - And the last team to arrive will be fired.
- Uh-oh.Copy !req
71. And to show that
I'm not playing favorites...Copy !req
72. both Smithers and I
will be participating.Copy !req
73. Who knows? I might be
the unlucky one who gets fired.Copy !req
74. Not bloody likely.Copy !req
75. - I've placed all your names in this hat.
- Ooh!Copy !req
76. Thank you. Now, pair off
as I draw your names.Copy !req
77. Lenny and Carl.Copy !req
78. Aw, nuts! I mean, um-
Aw, nuts!Copy !req
79. Fong and Sutroy.Copy !req
80. Kimball and Dawson.Copy !req
81. Aimee and Drucker.Copy !req
82. Simpson and... Burns?Copy !req
83. Oh!Copy !req
84. Quiet, you fool!Copy !req
85. You're on the one team
that can't possibly be fired.Copy !req
86. - Oh.
- Sir, this can't be right.Copy !req
87. You assured me this drawing
was rigged so we'd be teammates.Copy !req
88. Yes. Well, frankly,
you've been a bit of a pill lately.Copy !req
89. Why do we always fight on vacation?Copy !req
90. Well, there's only one name left.Copy !req
91. Whoever it is
will be paired with me.Copy !req
92. And that person is... Waylon Smithers.
Perfect. That's just perfect!Copy !req
93. Prepare for the adventure
of a lifetime...Copy !req
94. as you fight for survival against
the merciless forces of nature.Copy !req
95. To your marks!
Get set!Copy !req
96. - Go!Copy !req
97. Ready, Mr. Burns?Copy !req
98. One moment.Copy !req
99. Only who can prevent forest fires?Copy !req
100. You pressed "You," referring to me.Copy !req
101. That is incorrect.
The correct answer is you.Copy !req
102. Mom, can Lisa and I
play outside away from the bear?Copy !req
103. Okay. But when you start getting
apple-cheeked, it's time to come in.Copy !req
104. Huh?Copy !req
105. How could you do this to me, Mr. Burns,
after all I've done for you?Copy !req
106. Why, if you were here, I'd kick you
right in your bony old behind!Copy !req
107. Bony old behind! Bony old behind!Copy !req
108. Bony old behind!
Bony old behind!Copy !req
109. Why, thank you, Simpson.
I have been watching my figure.Copy !req
110. Lise! Lise! Come here! I found
two snowflakes that are exactly alike!Copy !req
111. Really? Let me see!Copy !req
112. Ow!Copy !req
113. - Oops. Sorry.
- Hi, Mr. Smithers.Copy !req
114. Oh, great. It's the Bobbsey Twins.
Well, take your prying eyes elsewhere!Copy !req
115. Oh, I'm sorry.
It hasn't been a good day.Copy !req
116. If I don't get to the top of the mountain
real soon, I could get fired.Copy !req
117. - We'll help you.
- I have a watch with a minute hand.Copy !req
118. All right, you can come.
What time is it?Copy !req
119. 12:80.
No, wait.Copy !req
120. - Wait. What comes after 12?
- One.Copy !req
121. - No. After 12.Copy !req
122. Tell me, Simpson...Copy !req
123. if an opportunity arose
for taking a small shortcut...Copy !req
124. you wouldn't be averse
to taking it, would you?Copy !req
125. - Oh, not as such.
- Neither would I.Copy !req
126. I've always felt that there's
far too much hysteria these days...Copy !req
127. about so-called cheating.Copy !req
128. - Yes. A lot of hysteria.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
129. If you can take advantage
of a situation in some way...Copy !req
130. it's your duty
as an American to do it.Copy !req
131. Why should the race
always be to the swift?Copy !req
132. Or theJumble
to the quick-witted?Copy !req
133. Should they be allowed to win merely
because of the gifts God gave them?Copy !req
134. Well, I say cheating is a gift
man gives himself.Copy !req
135. Mr. Burns, I insist that we cheat.Copy !req
136. Excellent.
And to do so...Copy !req
137. I propose we travel by...
horseless sleigh.Copy !req
138. Wow. You sure know
how to cheat, Mr. Burns.Copy !req
139. Yes, well, I'm older than you.Copy !req
140. You know, Simpson, you're not as objectionable
as you seemed when we first met.Copy !req
141. No, sir, I am not.Copy !req
142. Bart? Lisa?Copy !req
143. Hello?Copy !req
144. The story of
our national parks begins in 1 (72.Copy !req
145. Perhaps we should let
John Muir tell the tale.Copy !req
146. Excuse me, sir?
I can't find my children.Copy !req
147. - Have you checked the woods?
- No.Copy !req
148. Hmm. Follow me.Copy !req
149. We'll take the chairlift.
It'll give us...Copy !req
150. an eagle-eye view of the area
directly beneath the chairlift.Copy !req
151. Ooh!Copy !req
152. Well, I won't lie to you, ma'am. Our chances
of finding your children are slim to nil.Copy !req
153. - Hi, Mom!
- There they are!Copy !req
154. - Let me down here.
- Sorry. There's no way off till we get to the top.Copy !req
155. And even then,
it's sort of tricky.Copy !req
156. All right, kids!Copy !req
157. We'll meet you at the top!
Just be careful!Copy !req
158. I'm actually a little
more concerned about us.Copy !req
159. Um, do you know how to weld?Copy !req
160. That worked so well.Copy !req
161. We have several hours before the others arrive.
What say we get comfy?Copy !req
162. Now we have electricity.
This propane tank will supply us with heat.Copy !req
163. And this doorknob,
properly turned...Copy !req
164. will allow us access
to the cabin.Copy !req
165. No going through the window for us.Copy !req
166. Is there maple syrup in this one?Copy !req
167. There isn't any food
in any of these trees.Copy !req
168. Please, Bart, we've gotta hurry.
I can't be the last one to reach the cabin.Copy !req
169. Hey, I'm not gonna get fired.
Is there any gold in this mountain?Copy !req
170. - It doesn't matter!
- I'll check.Copy !req
171. Mr. Smithers! Mr Smithers!
I found another hurt shrew.Copy !req
172. - I think this one has a twisted ankle.
- Twisted-Copy !req
173. Aren't there any healthy animals
in this forest?Copy !req
174. Well, I don't suppose the others
will mind us starting the party early...Copy !req
175. Homie, old boy.Copy !req
176. - More champagne?Copy !req
177. You know, Mr. Burns,
you're the richest guy I know.Copy !req
178. - Way richer than Lenny.
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
179. But I'd trade it all for a little more.Copy !req
180. Oh, these sure are
comfortable chairs.Copy !req
181. Oh, yes, sitting.
The great leveler.Copy !req
182. From the mightiest pharaoh
to the lowliest peasant...Copy !req
183. who doesn't enjoy a good sit?Copy !req
184. Oh, man, you are so right.Copy !req
185. - Did you ever sit like this?
- Yes, yes, that's it.Copy !req
186. Oh, I could go
for one of those right now.Copy !req
187. Ah!Copy !req
188. The only hard part is getting up.Copy !req
189. Why get up?Copy !req
190. Here's a little move
I've been tinkering with.Copy !req
191. Say I want that bowl of dip.Copy !req
192. - Why, you'd have to get up!
- Oh?Copy !req
193. Sir, I am in your debt.Copy !req
194. Use it wisely, my friend.Copy !req
195. - Hey, did you hear something?
- No.Copy !req
196. - Hmm. Did I?
- I don't know!Copy !req
197. Hope that wasn't an avalanche.
Be a chum and take a look-see.Copy !req
198. You got it, buddy.Copy !req
199. Oh.Copy !req
200. Isn't there any way out of here?Copy !req
201. I don't see one.
Unless-Copy !req
202. No. There's no way out.Copy !req
203. There must be some way
to contact the outside world.Copy !req
204. Ah! The telegraph!Copy !req
205. - S.0.S.Copy !req
206. Avalanche.Copy !req
207. Send help.Copy !req
208. According to the map,
the cabin should be right here.Copy !req
209. Hey, maybe there is no cabin.Copy !req
210. - Maybe it's one of them, uh, metaphorical things.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
211. Like, maybe the cabin is
the place inside each of us...Copy !req
212. created by our goodwill
and teamwork.Copy !req
213. Oh!Copy !req
214. Nah. They said there'd be sandwiches.Copy !req
215. Simpson, I have a confession.Copy !req
216. I'm not quite the tunnel-digger
I made myself out to be.Copy !req
217. - You can supervise me.
- All right, good.Copy !req
218. Let's dig. That's right.
Dig some more.Copy !req
219. Oh, we make quite a duo.
Burns and Associate.Copy !req
220. No, no! What am I thinking?
Burns and Teammate.Copy !req
221. - We made it, old friend!
- We sure did.Copy !req
222. - Huzzah!
- Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
223. D'oh!Copy !req
224. What happened?Copy !req
225. I think when we yelled,
we caused another avalanche.Copy !req
226. We should be careful...Copy !req
227. not to speak...Copy !req
228. unless it's...Copy !req
229. absolutely...Copy !req
230. positively necessary.Copy !req
231. Shh.Copy !req
232. You're causing...Copy !req
233. more avalanches.Copy !req
234. I...Copy !req
235. think...Copy !req
236. they've...Copy !req
237. stopped.Copy !req
238. Let's go.Copy !req
239. Oh! Those last three avalanches
were your fault, Simpson.Copy !req
240. - So what?
- Sew buttons!Copy !req
241. There's not another place for miles.Copy !req
242. This must be the cabin
Burns was talkin' about.Copy !req
243. - Well, we made it here first,
all thanks to teamwork.
- Yeah, my teamwork.Copy !req
244. We must be covered
by a thousand feet of snow.Copy !req
245. It could be days
before they find us.Copy !req
246. Mmm. No books,
no radio, no board games.Copy !req
247. A Bazooka Joe comic.Copy !req
248. I heard that one 75 years ago.Copy !req
249. We could build snowmen.Copy !req
250. No, I have a better idea.Copy !req
251. We could build
real men out of snow.Copy !req
252. Oh. Okay.Copy !req
253. Mr. Smithers! Mr. Smithers!
That moose is on fire!Copy !req
254. Fine. Good. I don't care anymore.
I'm the last one here.Copy !req
255. - You kids cost me my job.
- You ain't last, Mr. Smithers.Copy !req
256. Thank goodness.Copy !req
257. Yeah, Burnsie and Homer
never made it.Copy !req
258. - Mr. Burns is still out there?
- What about our dad?Copy !req
259. Ah! 206 bones...Copy !req
260. 50 miles of small intestine,
full, pouting lips.Copy !req
261. Why, this fellow
is less a snowman than a god!Copy !req
262. Well, we've managed to stave off
cabin fever for a few hours.Copy !req
263. l- I think we should
dress the snowmen.Copy !req
264. Agreed.Copy !req
265. Look at them,
smug and secure in their finery...Copy !req
266. mocking us.Copy !req
267. They're just snowmen, Mr. Burns.Copy !req
268. Ah, snowmen have peepers. Peepers to watch-
to watch for a moment of weakness.Copy !req
269. And then, baf, comes the knock
on the head, and we're down!Copy !req
270. - What do we do?
- Oh, wouldn't you like to know?Copy !req
271. Hey, what is going on here?
Who are you people?Copy !req
272. This is a lookout post.
Where is Ranger McFadden?Copy !req
273. Well, I was just happy to see
so many nice people.Copy !req
274. Quiet, you drunk.
Where's Ranger McFadden?Copy !req
275. - Right here, sir, right behind the drunk.
- Wait a minute.Copy !req
276. If this is a ranger station,
we must be in the wrong place.Copy !req
277. The only other cabin
is right over... there.Copy !req
278. - Huh.Copy !req
279. Look at all these avalanches.
You think they could've buried the cabin?Copy !req
280. Well, I'll tell you one thing.
They didn't come here...Copy !req
281. for the Mountain Music Festival,
March 14-18.Copy !req
282. - Mom, Dad and Mr. Burns
could be trapped in there!Copy !req
283. I'm trapped with a madman.Copy !req
284. Look at him staring into me...Copy !req
285. filling my mind
with paranoid thoughts.Copy !req
286. Mmm. Look at his eyes.
He's trying to hypnotize me!Copy !req
287. But not in the good Las Vegas way.Copy !req
288. I know what
he's up to. He's thinking of killing me...Copy !req
289. then riding my carcass
down the mountain to safety.Copy !req
290. He's truly gone mad
if he's thinking that.Copy !req
291. Well, he can't kill me if I kill him first!Copy !req
292. I'll kill you,
you bloated museum of treachery!Copy !req
293. You and what army?Copy !req
294. Stand back! I have powers!Copy !req
295. Uh, political powers!Copy !req
296. - It's showtime!Copy !req
297. Give me- Let go off that-Copy !req
298. Oh, God!
My head.Copy !req
299. - Homer!
- Burnsie!Copy !req
300. Okay, search party,
before we set out...Copy !req
301. let's take a moment
to humor the children.Copy !req
302. Kids, your father's gonna be just fine.Copy !req
303. Okay, everybody, put on
your corpse-handling gloves.Copy !req
304. We've got two frozen bodies
buried somewhere in this mountain.Copy !req
305. Did you hear that, Lise?
Dad's gonna be just fine.Copy !req
306. Look! What's that?Copy !req
307. We'll be dashed to pieces!Copy !req
308. Oh, Lord, protect this rocket house
and all who dwell within the rocket house.Copy !req
309. - It's them, all right.
- We're over here, Homie!Copy !req
310. Oh. Something's wrong with its brakes.
Gangway!Copy !req
311. - Marge, kids.Copy !req
312. Have you people
forgotten our little competition?Copy !req
313. Last one in the cabin is fired.Copy !req
314. - You're fired, Lenny.
- Aw, nuts!Copy !req
315. - So, how did we do?Copy !req
316. - It's a new record, sir.
- Outstanding.Copy !req
317. Well, perhaps all of this
has been worthwhile.Copy !req
318. - Did you all learn about teamwork?
- Yes.Copy !req
319. Excellent. In that case,
no one will be fired after all.Copy !req
320. That old goat can't fire me.Copy !req
321. I'm gonna give him a piece of my-Copy !req
322. - Aw, nuts!Copy !req
323. Well, Simpson, I must say...Copy !req
324. once you've been through
something like that with a person...Copy !req
325. you never want to see that person again.Copy !req
326. You said it, ya weirdo!Copy !req
327. - Shh!Copy !req