The Simpsons 7x3

Directed by Susie Dietter

Tress MacNeille as Angela Dare / Gwen the waitress / Homer's cousin's wife (voice) • Frank Welker as barks of Santa's Little Helper / meows of Snowball II, and other • Marcia Wallace as Edna Krabappel (voice) / Ms. Melon (voice) • Joan Kenley as telephone operator (voice) • Marcia Wallace as Edna Krabappel (voice)

When Homer and Marge are found to be unfit parents, the kids are placed with the Flanders family. Reluctant participants in the Flanderses' wholesome family activities, Bart and Lisa become the targets of an emergency baptism.

Request examples:

!req The Simpsons 7x3 [02:32]
!req The Simpsons 7x3 [The Simpsons 7x3]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req The Simpsons 7x3 [10-11]; !req The Simpsons 7x3 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. D'

2. Here's your toast, Maggie.

3. I melba-fied it myself.

4. Lisa, honey, I tracked down

5. those old newspapers for your history project.

6. Wow, Mom, you didn't have to go to this much trouble.

7. It was no trouble.

8. The hobos at the dump were very helpful.

9. Except one man who seemed to have mental problems.

10. Good morning.

11. Bart, it's class photo day. No Dracula fangs.

12. But they told us to wear them.

13. No, they didn't.

14. And don't put signs on your sister.

15. Now, keep the lettuce separate until 11:30.

16. That way

17. the lettuce stays moist and the bread stays dry.

18. Mom, you fuss over us way too much.

19. Enjoy it now

20. because when you're a grown-up

21. you'll have to take care of yourself.

22. Marge,

23. there's a spider near my car keys.

24. You did the right thing by telling me.

25. Shoo. Get out of here.

26. That's better.

27. Now that we're alone,

28. Papa Bear has a little honey for his Mama Bear.

29. "Mineral bath, facial massage."

30. How did you afford these?

31. Ho, never you mind.

32. What advantages does this motor car have

33. over say, a train?

34. Which I could also afford.

35. Well, you'll notice

36. how the heated gas pedal warms your feet while...

37. gently massages your buttocks.

38. Well, Count Homer

39. shall we discuss the...

40. No, we shan't.

41. Yoink!

42. Homie, this is so sweet, but I can't possibly go now.

43. The sink is full of dirty dishes.

44. The trash needs to be taken out.

45. The living room is a mess.

46. We'll clean up this afternoon.

47. What about Maggie?

48. I got my Dad to look after her.

49. Behind ya!

50. Don't do that!

51. Don't do that!

52. Come on, honey, you work yourself stupid for this family.

53. If anyone deserves to be wrapped up in seaweed

54. and buried in mud, it's you.

55. Well, all right.

56. But I'm taking some of the ironing with me in the ca...

57. Tighten those braids, Missy.

58. Hoist your flag, Dooley.

59. Nelson, you look adorable.

60. I feel like punching myself.

61. Bart, stop scratching.

62. You're messing up your hair.

63. Lice!

64. How on earth does a boy get head lice

65. in this day and age?

66. We bought a wicker basket from Trader Pete's

67. and he was passed out inside.

68. Hey, how come I get lice and nothing happens to Milhouse?

69. S-So cold.

70. So very, very cold.

71. See you in hell, you wingless blood-suckers.

72. What kind of parents would permit

73. such a lapse in scalpel hygiene?

74. You'd better check out his sister.

75. She could be rife with them bugs, too.

76. Keep away.

77. Hey, come on.

78. Those are prescription shoes.

79. I need them.

80. You have cooties, you have cooties.

81. No, I don't.

82. Lisa Simpson, report to the Principal's office

83. for head lice inspection.

84. My tongue.

85. Head's up.

86. Principal Skinner, I need some shoes.

87. Sweet Georgia Brown!

88. Something is rotten at the Simpson house.

89. This is so relaxing.

90. Homie, this was a wonderful idea.

91. Yeah.

92. If that mafia guy weren't staring at us

93. I'd take off my towel.

94. Don't mind a-me.

95. Look, I do it first.

96. Whoa. Would you look at this place?

97. Sink full of dirty dishes. Trash not taken out.

98. Living room a mess.

99. Stacks of old newspapers...

100. from 20 years ago!

101. Get ready, gamblers

102. for the World Series of Dog Racing.

103. What the...

104. A disheveled and malnourished man

105. found sleeping in his own filth.

106. Seems confused and dehydrated.

107. Where's the baby?

108. That's her, ain't it?

109. Kids love that water.

110. My Lord!

111. Stupid babies need the most attention.

112. All is well.

113. All is well...

114. Turn tape over.

115. All is well. All is well.

116. Children, where are your parents?

117. I don't know.

118. They should be here.

119. Yes, they should... be here.

120. Tsk, tsk.

121. Those parents better have a good excuse.

122. I love getting away from this dump.

123. It's like I'm on some wonderful drug.

124. What's going on here?

125. Child Welfare, ma'am.

126. Here's a little bedtime reading.

127. "Squalid hell hole?

128. "Toilet paper hung in improper overhand fashion.

129. Dogs mating on dining room table?"

130. What are you doing with my children?

131. We're taking them where you can't get them.

132. What? No, you can't!

133. I won't let you!

134. Mrs. Simpson, restrain yourself

135. or you'll be arrested.

136. Now just relax, kids.

137. All we're doing is taking you to...

138. a Foster Home!

139. - Yay! - Heydilly-ho.

140. Welcome to your new home, neglect-areenos.

141. Kids, meet your new foster family.

142. We love you!

143. Please don't hug me.

144. It sickens me.

145. I don't judge Homer and Marge.

146. That's for a vengeful God to do.

147. All we want to do

148. is give you kids a good home

149. until they get their act together.

150. You don't understand.

151. Mom and Dad take good care of us.

152. That was a baby tooth.

153. It was loose!

154. Don't you worry, little girl.

155. We'll get you some nice county dentures.

156. "Parents are not to communicate with children

157. and must stay at least 100 feet away at all times."

158. We leave you the kids for three hours

159. and the county takes them away?

160. Bitch, bitch, bitch.

161. I can't believe I put my own pleasure

162. ahead of my home and family.

163. That is so like me.

164. Marge, don't blame yourself.

165. I'm the terrible parent.

166. The boy bugs the hell out of me.

167. I can't help Lisa with her homework.

168. The only thing I'm fit to take care of is a houseplant.

169. Lousy houseplant!

170. Son of a... I'll teach you to...

171. Go with it!

172. Here you go, Todd, the City Edition.

173. Bart, I don't know if this should be an extra.

174. Is your source on this reliable?

175. I hate this place.

176. Yeah, it seems like our house

177. but everything's got a creepy Pat Boone-ish quality to it.

178. Hey, kids, nachos, Flanders-style!

179. That's cucumbers with cottage cheese.

180. Bart, I know you're still getting adjusted here.

181. Tell you what,

182. we'll do whatever you want to do.

183. Watch Itchy and Scratchy!

184. Well, I guess a little television won't hurt.

185. I used to let the boys watch "My Three Sons"

186. but it got them all worked up before bedtime.

187. Why? Why?

188. My only son.

189. Daddy, what's the red stuff

190. coming out of kitty's ears?

191. That's just raspberry jam.

192. Dad, should I poke Rod with a sharp thing

193. like the mouse did?

194. No, son. No sirree, Bob.

195. Can you see them?

196. I can see Lisa...

197. but it might be a starfish.

198. I got to call them.

199. The number you have dialed

200. can no longer be reached from this phone,

201. you negligent monster.

202. That's it.

203. We're going downtown to get our kids back.

204. Right now!

205. We've always tried to be good parents.

206. Please. I'm begging you one mother to another.

207. You must have a family.

208. No. I don't care for children.

209. Now, wait a minute!

210. Okay. I'm not gonna win Father of the Year.

211. In fact, I'm probably the last guy in the world

212. who should have kids...

213. Well... wait...

214. Can I start again?

215. Fathering children is the best part of my day.

216. I'd do anything for Bart and Lisa.

217. - And, Margaret? - Who?

218. Lady, you got the wrong file.

219. It's Maggie.

220. Maggie. I got nothing against Maggie.

221. I can see you sincerely want your children back

222. but you have a lot to learn about being parents.

223. Before I can return your children,

224. you'll have to complete a course called

225. "Family Skills."

226. It teaches parents to listen to...

227. - Communication. Gotcha. - But it's important to...

228. - Listen, yes, I know... - But there's more to it...

229. I have listening skills.

230. Mr. Simpson would you please...

231. Shut up, Judge!

232. Peek-a-boo. I see you.

233. Peek-a-boo. I see you.

234. I never heard Maggie laugh like that before.

235. Well, when was the last time

236. Dad gave her that kind of attention?

237. When she swallowed that quarter,

238. he spent all day with her.

239. I thought I could ride this thing out

240. but everything's just too weird here.

241. I know.

242. They put honey on pancakes instead of maple syrup.

243. And they read Newsweek instead of nothing.

244. C'mon you Gloomy-Gusses.

245. Who's up for a big bowl of non-fat ice milk?

246. I want wintergreen.

247. Unflavored for me.

248. And then I saw my boy in a burlap sack

249. and they told me he had lice.

250. This story going somewhere?

251. All right, easy there, Flub.

252. We're all going to get a chance.

253. Mrs. Skinner, why are you here?

254. The county is threatening

255. to take my Seymour away.

256. We had another fight over the inflatable bath pillow.

257. I kept screeching and screeching at him but...

258. Alright. Very good. Now who knows how the Skinners

259. could have resolved this problem?

260. Without resorting to violence...

261. or childish name-calling.

262. Anybody?

263. Okay, that's okay.

264. Because making a happy home

265. isn't like flipping on a light switch.

266. Duh, light switch?

267. There are a lot of little tricks to it.

268. Things you should have learned a long time ago.

269. Such as: if you leave milk out, it can go sour.

270. Put it in the refrigerator

271. or failing that, a cool, wet sack.

272. And put your garbage in a garbage can, people.

273. I can't stress that enough.

274. Don't just throw it out the window.

275. This is so humiliating.

276. "Garbage in garbage can."

277. Makes sense.

278. Nighty night, my sweet little foundling-a-dings.

279. But it's only 7:00.

280. Yeah, the sun is still out.

281. You know, Maggie hasn't been a Simpson as long as us.

282. I think she's beginning to forget Mom and Dad.

283. Remember how Mom used to microwave our underwear

284. on cold days?

285. Or the way Dad used to call the radio station

286. with fake traffic tips?

287. They're ten feet away

288. and we can't even talk to them.

289. I wish I could tell them how much I miss them.

290. It's so quiet here without the kids.

291. What I wouldn't give to hear Lisa play

292. another one of her jazzy tunes.

293. Saxa-ma-phone.

294. Saxa-ma-phone.

295. Aw...

296. I miss the way Bart would say something

297. and then say "dude."

298. I wish I knew something about the baby

299. I could miss now.

300. - You mean Maggie? - That's it.

301. We've never been separated from the kids for so long.

302. I don't know how much more I can take.

303. That's Bart's ring!

304. "Todd smells."

305. Aw, I already knew that.

306. Look at the other side.

307. Okay let's see if we've learned anything.

308. I want you two to simulate a typical household problem. Go.

309. Pa, I cut myself on the screen door again.

310. Why you cotton-pickin'...!

311. No, I got to pass this class for my kids.

312. Son, let's stop the fussin' and a-feudin'.

313. I love you, Pa.

314. I love you, Cletus.

315. Well, children, it's Saturday night

316. so what say we let our hair down and play Bombardment...

317. - Yay! - Yay!

318. Of Bible Questions?

319. - Yay! - Yay!

320. Which version shall it be?

321. St. James.

322. The Vulgate of St. Jerome.

323. Vulgate it is.

324. Okay, for one gold star,

325. what Persian king exempted the Levites from taxation?

326. - Ataxerxes. - Righty-o!

327. - Well? - I know!

328. No, son, we got to let Bart and Lisa get one.

329. Come on, this one's easy.

330. We give up.

331. Well, guess.

332. Book of Revelations... fire-breathing lion's head.

333. Tail made out of snakes.

334. Who else is it gonna be?

335. Jesus?

336. Je... Jes...

337. Don't you kids know anything?

338. The Serpent of Rehaboam?

339. The Well of Zohassadar?

340. The Bridal Feast of Beth Chadruharazzeb?

341. That's the kind of thing you should start learning at baptism.

342. Um, actually, you see...

343. we were never baptized.

344. Neddie! Neddie!

345. Neddie!

346. No, that ain't gonna do it.

347. I'm very proud of you people.

348. You've learned how to care for your children,

349. how to maintain your homes,

350. and you've all passed the drug test.

351. Except for Marge.

352. Marge, you tested positive for crack and P.C.P.

353. My!

354. Okay, the re-test says you're clean.

355. Sorry about the mistake.

356. The only thing I'm high on is love.

357. Love for my son and daughters.

358. Yes, a little L.S.D. is all I need.

359. All right, sounds very good.

360. Jeepers H. Crackers.

361. I'd better call the reverend.

362. Ned Flanders is on the phone.

363. Hello, Ned.

364. Reverend, emergency.

365. I... It's the Simpson kids.

366. Eedily... baptism...

367. oodily... doodily, doodily!

368. Ned, have you thought

369. about one of the other major religions?

370. They're all pretty much the same.

371. Damn Flanders.

372. Looks like I'm gonna have to baptize you myself.

373. Kids, we're good parents now.

374. Get your asses out here!

375. We missed you so much.

376. He's going to baptize our children?

377. No!

378. In the eyes of God, they'll be Flanderseseses.

379. Until this I never thought Homer and Marge were bad parents

380. but now I know you kids need

381. a less hell-bound family.

382. Just sit back

383. and before you know it,

384. you'll be part of the Flanders flock.

385. You're gonna be Lisa Flanders.

386. You're going to be Bart Flanders.

387. Relax, Bart.

388. Your sister Maggie isn't scared.

389. That's because she can't talk.

390. Daddily-doodily.

391. Where are we going? Where are we going?

392. Okay, okay. Don't panic.

393. To find Flanders, I just have to think like Flanders.

394. I'm a big four-eyed lame-o

395. and I wear the same stupid sweater everyday and...

396. The Springfield River!

397. Today we write a new page

398. in the Flanders family bible.

399. Who wants to be the first to enter God's good graces?

400. Easy, easy.

401. Why do You hate my trains?

402. Son of a...

403. Do you reject Satan

404. and all his empty promises?

405. No!

406. Wow, Dad, you took a baptismal for me.

407. How do you feel?

408. Bartholomew, I feel like St. Augustine of Hippo

409. after his conversion by Ambrose of Milan.

410. Wait, Homer... What did you just say?

411. I said shut your ugly face, Flanders!

412. Fair enough.

413. There's my sweet little Maggie.

414. Maggie, you're a Simpson again.

415. So, what was it like at the Flanders' house?

416. Yeah, give me all the dirt.

417. Let's see... dirt... dirt.

418. Well, there wasn't really much dirt.

419. There was a bunch of old paint cans

420. in the garage, though.

421. Old painty-can Ned!

422. I always knew he'd keep his old cans of paint!

423. Yeah!

424. How do you like that?

425. Shh!

426. ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.