1. The Simpsons
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2. D'oh!
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3. Hey, Bart! Summer's almost here.
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4. Which kind of sprinkler do you like?
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5. The one that goes like this?
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6. Or the one that goes like this?
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7. Oh, and there's this one!
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8. It's the last day of school, Milhouse.
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9. Try to show some dignity.
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10. Gentlemen, start your chimes.
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11. School's out! Up yours, Krabappel!
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12. Well, I'm glad the rest
of you remembered...
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13. that summer vacation starts
at the end of the day...
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14. not the beginning.
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15. - Here you go, ma'am.
- Hmm. Quick work.
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16. How'd you know he was gonna run?
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17. We've got someone on the inside.
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18. The reward for
a year's worth of toil and sacrifice.
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19. Retrospecticus. Oh.
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20. The leatheroleum covers
were worth the extra money!
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21. Oh! You can smell the benzene!
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22. Oh, when the kids see
these layouts and fonts...
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23. you're going to be the most
popular girl in school!
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24. You know something, Beezee?
I think you're right.
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25. "And so, as Abraham Lincoln sat
in Ford's Theatre that night...
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26. John Wilkes Booth entered,
drew his gun and"-
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27. Well, that's it. Have a nice summer, everyone.
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28. But what happened in Ford's Theatre?
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29. Was President Lincoln okay?
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30. He was fine.
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31. Go home, Ralph.
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32. In the beginning of the school year,
each of you received a colored ticket.
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33. I hope everyone still has theirs.
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34. Who died and made you boss?
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35. Mr. Estes, the publications adviser.
I edited the whole thing.
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36. If you hadn't done it, some other loser
would have, so quit milking it.
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37. Hey! Will you guys sign my yearbook?
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38. Huh?
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39. This is Becky.
She's in the second grade.
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40. Hi, Becky.
Thanks for coming out.
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41. "See ya. "
He writes the way people talk!
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42. Your daughter is named Seymour?
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43. Well, I-Yeah.
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44. I lied. It's for me.
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45. I don't get it. Straight A's,
perfect attendance, bathroom timer-
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46. I should be
the most popular girl in school.
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47. Homer, I'm in a rhubarb
of a pickle of a jam here.
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48. I was all set to go off on vacation
when I get called up for jury duty.
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49. Oh, it's a corker of a case.
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50. Seems a man drove up
onto a traffic island...
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51. and hit a decorative rowboat full of geraniums.
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52. Now they're trying it
as a maritime offense.
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53. So, anyhoo, how'd you like to use
my beach house, free of charge?
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54. I only get two weeks
of vacation a year...
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55. and you want me to spend it
in your lousy beach house?
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56. Well, if it'll seal the deal...
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57. I'll take a look at your septic tank,
see if I can get her humming again.
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58. Deal! See, Flanders?
You give a little, you get a little.
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59. Hello, Mr. Brown Ground.
What you got for me?
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60. And you're sure
the Flanderses won't be there?
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61. Well, it sounds great.
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62. Bart, you can invite Milhouse.
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63. - Lisa, you can bring a friend too.
- Hey, great!
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64. A friend-
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65. or a companion...
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66. or- I don't know- a stuffed animal.
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67. Well, did you call one of your friends?
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68. Friends? Huh!
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69. These are my only friends-
grown-up nerds like Gore Vidal.
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70. And even he's kissed more boys
than I ever will.
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71. Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls.
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72. - Mom, why don't I have any friends?
- We have each other.
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73. When I was a lonely little girl...
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74. I always dreamed that someday
my daughter would be my best friend.
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75. We are best friends, Mom,
but I'm a kid.
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76. I need friends my own age too.
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77. Honey, you'll make plenty of friends.
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78. All you have to do is be yourself.
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79. Be myself? I've been myself for eight years,
and it hasn't worked.
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80. Look at all these dorky clothes.
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81. A bathing cap, nose plugs.
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82. A microscope at the beach?
Aah! What was I thinking?
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83. Mom, I'm gonna tighten Milhouse's straps.
He's fidgeting again.
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84. Ow!
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85. Lisa, let's go!
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86. Here- Hmm.
Somebody's traveling light.
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87. Nah. Maybe you're getting stronger.
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88. Well, I have been eating more.
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89. Wave bye-bye to our house, Maggie.
Bye-bye, tree.
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90. - Bye-bye, job.
- Bye-bye, toothbrush.
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91. Bye-bye, Lisa Simpson.
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92. When the hell are we gonna get to-
Where the hell are we going?
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93. It's called
Little Pwagmattasquarmsettport.
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94. It's known as America's scrod basket.
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95. I thought Springfield
was America's scrod basket.
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96. No. Springfield
is America's crud bucket...
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97. at least according to Newsweek.
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98. "Wel-diddly-elcome, Simpsons. "
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99. - Oh, geez! He actually wrote "diddly. "
- That was thoughtful.
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100. "I left a few helpful notes
around the house. "
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101. Ah, come- Gee.!
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102. - "Put food in me. "
- I'll take that.
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103. Well, duh! With what, Ned?
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104. Nice try, Todd.
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105. Isn't this fun, honey?
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106. It must be exciting to make
a different set of beds.
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107. I know you're joking, but it is!
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108. Say, why don't you put on your swimsuit
and head for the beach?
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109. Well, it's kind of funny.
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110. With all the craziness and confusion
and meshuggaas of packing, I forgot to pack!
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111. Lisa, that's not at all like you.
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112. - Exactly.
- Hmm.
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113. I forgot my swimsuit, too,
but I improvised.
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114. Hello.
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115. Uh, Mom, I'm kind of trying to go
for a different look this year.
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116. Oh, okay.
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117. Ooh! How about
this adorable sunsuit?
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118. It has a starfish on the fanny,
and it comes with its own pail.
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119. Mom, come here.! Bring money.!
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120. So, where do you want to
show off your new, hip togs?
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121. The Sherbet Shop, the Candle District?
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122. Big Sue's Tap-Water Taffy?
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123. If it's okay with you, Mom,
I'd rather go find some kids.
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124. Oh. Okay.
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125. You'll be my friend.
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126. I'm never, never gonna
let you get away.
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127. Hey, hey!
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128. Last one in is a yearbook editor!
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129. Full speed ahead!
Prepare to dive! Dive!
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130. It's low tide, boys.
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131. I wonder where all the kids are.
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132. Hey! A library!
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133. No, I can't.
That's the old, nerdy Lisa.
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134. Lisa, read about my adventures
in the South Seas...
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135. and make me live again.
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136. We've got periodicals on microfiche.
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137. Won't you join our tea party?
It would be ever so-
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138. Don't do it, Lisa! It's a trick! Run!
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139. Run.!
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140. Oh. I don't see any kids at all.
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141. It's like they ditched me in advance.
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142. So he goes, like-
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143. I can totally hear him going that.
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144. Only kids are that incoherent!
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145. So, my mom tried to take me to some
candle place, but I'm all, like, "No way. "
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146. Like, you know, whatever.
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147. Like, you know, whatever.
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148. Hey! What's hap-
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149. Okay, okay, okay.
Not your fault. It's a bird thing.
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150. You don't control the birds.
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151. You will someday, but not now.
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152. - Hi.
- 'Sup?
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153. - Who's that?
- I don't know. Some kid.
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154. Hey! I like your hat.
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155. A compliment!
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156. Scanning for sarcasm. It's clean. Go!
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157. Thanks.
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158. Um, you guys skate?
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159. Try to. The cops always
confiscate our boards.
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160. Yeah. And you just know they're using them,
like, five minutes later down at the station.
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161. Hmm. I think I know a place
you can skate that's virtually deserted.
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162. Like, you know, whatever.
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163. - All right!
- Excellent!
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164. Okay.
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165. Hey, this place rocks!
What'd you say your name was?
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166. - Didn't. It's Lisa.
- I'm Erin.
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167. So, how'd you know about this place?
You into books?
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168. Me? Unlikely.
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169. My gooney brother's always going to libraries.
I usually hang out in front.
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170. - Oh. You like hanging out too?
- Well, it beats doin' stuff.
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171. Yeah. Stuff sucks.
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172. Hey, you up?
You can use my board.
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173. No! Okay. Thanks.
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174. That's very, um, rad of you.
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175. Hmm.
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176. Hey, Bart! Lisa's skateboarding
with some cool kids.
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177. And she looks like Blossom.
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178. Lisa? With people?
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179. If they're impressed by her,
I'm gonna Bart their world.
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180. Okay, Milhouse, you know the drill.
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181. Right. You go over and wow them.
I hide in the shrubs.
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182. Hot stuff comin'through.
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183. My friendship-
You know you want it.
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184. That kid, like, tries too hard.
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185. Sh'yeah! The whole thing
smacks of effort, man.
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186. That's my dorky little brother,
Bart- holomew.
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187. Who does he think he is with that slingshot
in his back pocket? Dennis the Menace?
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188. Mr. Wilson or something.
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189. How'd it go?
Are we down with them?
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190. No! They must've seen you.
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191. Oh, why do we have to play
this lousy old game?
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192. Because it was
the only one in the house.
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193. Come on, Homer.
Open the door for your mystery date.
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194. Ooh!
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195. Captain of the football team.
He's a dreamboat.
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196. Don't wait up, Marge.
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197. Okay, Bart. Your turn, your turn.
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198. You got the dud!
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199. Hey, he looks just like you,
Poindexter!
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200. How come Lisa doesn't have to play?
Why does she get to hang out with her friends?
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201. You got friends.
You got the dud right here.
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202. Stand up for yourself, Poindexter.
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203. Wow, Lisa.! I never appreciated
all this, like, sea junk before.
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204. - Hey, that clam's got legs!
- That's a hermit crab.
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205. When she outgrows her old shell,
she finds a new one that's a better fit.
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206. Don't be afraid, little friend.
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207. You'll be the most popular crab
on the beach.
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208. Aw, a gift from my favorite crustacean.
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209. Um, did you learn that word
from a teacher or something?
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210. No. No, I heard it on Baywatch.
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211. - Oh, cool.
- That's cool.
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212. Baywatch. David Hasselhoff, man.
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213. Ah. I bet this place sells
illegal fireworks.
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214. Just go in and act casual
like you buy 'em all the time.
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215. Hi. Um-
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216. Let me have one of those porno magazines,
large box of condoms...
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217. a bottle of Old Harper,
a couple of those panty shields...
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218. and some illegal fireworks...
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219. and one of those disposable enemas-
no, make it two.
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220. My apologies, sir,
but the sale of fireworks...
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221. is prohibited in this state
and is punishable by-
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222. Follow me.
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223. Any red-blooded,
flag-feeding American would love...
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224. the M-320.
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225. Celebrate the independence of your nation
by blowing up a small part of it.
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226. All right.
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227. Pretty cool of your mom
to let us hang out here.
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228. Totally. Not like my mom.
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229. She'd be butting in
with Rice Krispies squares and Tang.
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230. My dad's all stoked
'cause today's the Fourth ofJuly.
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231. - He woke me up at dawn to take a loyalty oath.
- Ugh.
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232. My mom's French,
so we only celebrate Bastille Day.
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233. Well, we could do something fun.
Um, how 'bout a beach party?
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234. - Oh, great idea, Lise.
- Hey, I know where there's a beach!
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235. I know where we could
get some baguettes.
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236. Gee, I don't know what you've
got planned for tonight, Homer...
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237. but count me out.
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238. Didn't you buy any meat?
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239. This baby's sure to kill something.
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240. Okay now, everybody.
Stand back while I celebrate freedom!
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241. - Bart, give me your matches.
- Fresh out.
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242. No lighter? Nothing?
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243. Oh! Wait. I got it.
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244. D'oh!
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245. The beer!
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246. - Oh! This is the worst Fourth of July ever.
- I hate America.
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247. Come on, Milhouse.
Let's go down there.
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248. I don't think you should.
Let Lisa be alone with her new friends.
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249. They're my friends rightfully.
She only got them by copying me.
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250. Don't have a cow, man!
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251. See? That's my expression!
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252. Oh. You haven't said that in four years.
Let Lisa have it.
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253. It's the principle. She's gotta learn.
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254. No! Now, park your keister, "meister. "
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255. Ay, caramba!
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256. Hey, Lise. I made something for you.
It's a friendship bracelet.
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257. For me? Wow!
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258. My first real friend... ship bracelet.
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259. I don't have anything for you,
except this necklace I made.
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260. Oh, cool. Thanks.
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261. Hey, cinnamon dental floss!
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262. I just know we're
gonna be friends forever.
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263. So, Lisa has a friend.
We'll see about that.
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264. Bart! I need my glasses.
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265. Oh. Nice doggy.
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266. I'm dizzy! I'm nauseous!
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267. Oh, but I'm popular!
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268. Huh?
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269. What's he doing here?
My yearbook. No!
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270. Mm-hmm.
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271. Hey, you guys! You want to see
how cool Lisa Simpson really is?
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272. Check this out.
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273. Miss Perfect Attendance...
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274. Grammar Rodeo head buckaroo,
the French table.
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275. Ooh-la-la!
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276. "Teacher's pet"?
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277. Hey, Lise.
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278. I guess my little yearbook stunt
was pretty rough...
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279. but it did teach you a lesson.
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280. It's important to be yourself.
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281. I know exactly who I am.
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282. I am the sister of a rotten,
jealous, mean, little sneak!
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283. You cost me my only friends!
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284. You've ruined my life!
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285. Hey, kids!
There's a carnival tonight!
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286. Oh, boy! A carnival!
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287. Hmm.
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288. Kids, stop that!
Don't make me get the carny!
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289. Hey, Lisa! Make friends with this!
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290. Hey!
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291. Help! Help!
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292. Remember, kids, there's no need to bump.
Just enjoy the ride.
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293. Oh!
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294. Lisa, wait!
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295. Being myself didn't work.
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296. Being someone else didn't work.
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297. Maybe I just wasn't meant
to have friends.
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298. Lisa is gonna freak when she sees this.
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299. Well, hurry up. They'll be back soon.
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300. Lisa!
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301. Okay. You found out
I'm an overachieving bookworm.
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302. So whatever mean prank you're pulling,
just finish it up and send me a Polaroid.
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303. - I'm going to sleep.
- Wait, Lisa.! Look.
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304. Huh? Oh!
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305. - Oh! Oh!
- Cool, huh?
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306. Well, now you can take the beach
with you wherever you go.
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307. Uh, but don't drive at night.
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308. Does this mean you still
want to be friends...
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309. even though I tried to cover up
my nerdish leanings?
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310. Look, we don't care who you were...
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311. and you can't fake the kind
of good person that you are.
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312. Yeah. You taught us
about cool things...
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313. like nature and why
we shouldn't drink seawater.
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314. This is the most thoughtful
thing anybody ever-
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315. Sweet merciful crap.! My car.!
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316. The polite thing to do
would've been to clean the shells first.
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317. Shoo! Shoo!
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318. I guess I should give this back to you.
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319. I showed it to your friends again
before we left.
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320. - Bart!
- Look inside.
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321. Oh. Thanks, Bart.
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322. I signed it too.
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323. Uh-huh.
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324. Well, get a last look at
the beautiful ocean scenery, kids.
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325. Shh!
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