1. WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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1. The Simpsons
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2. D'oh!
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3. Milhouse, do you ever think about
the people in those cars?
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4. I try not to.
It makes it harder to spit on 'em.
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5. Sometimes I wonder
about all the people in this town.
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6. Do you think anything interesting
ever happens to 'em?
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7. I mean, there must be thousands
of great stories out there.
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8. What do you think, Milhouse?
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9. - Milhouse.
- Huh? Oh. Sorry. I saw a convertible.
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10. - You were saying?
- Forget it.
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11. Come on. It's 11:00.
I need some sugar.
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12. I wish you'd come to my party, Apu.
You could use some merriment.
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13. Listen. Serving the customer
is merriment enough for me.
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14. Thank you. Come again.
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15. You see? Most enjoyable.
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16. Oh, I guarantee a wingding
of titanic proportions.
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17. You will be there
or kindly be square.
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18. Well, I don't like to
leave the store, but...
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19. for the next five minutes I'm going to party
like it's on sale for 19.99.
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20. Quick, quick. No time to cook them.
They will plump in my stomach.
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21. Whoo. Hello, beautiful.
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22. - No ring, I see. So you are
only arranged to be married.
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23. Ooh, ooh, ooh! I love this song.
Let us boogie.
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24. Whoo. I am hot.
Let us get out of here.
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25. Don't worry. I'll tell everybody
you were untouchable.
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26. Whoa.
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27. Whoo!
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28. Well, Sanjay, never have I partied
so hearty. Same time next year, yeah?
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29. Yes!
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30. Made it.
And with one minute to spare.
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31. You took four minutes of my life,
and I want them back.
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32. Oh, I'd only
waste 'em anyway.
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33. Swing Serenade is brought
to you by Gorman's ear guards.
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34. Guard your ears!
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35. With Gorman's.
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36. Mom, Dad threw his beer can
at the Miracle-Gro guy on TV.
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37. - Can I recycle it?
- Why not?
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38. There's gum in my hair!
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39. - Mom! Someone threw gum in my hair!
- Are you sure?
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40. Maybe it's just shampoo.
That washes right out.
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41. No. It's somebody's
gross gum!
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42. Get it out! Ow!
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43. Ow! It's pulling out
my hair.
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44. Wait. If I remember my Heloise,
the trick to getting out gum...
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45. is peanut butter.
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46. There. Now, that gum
should lift right out.
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47. Ow.
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48. Maybe it needs a little mayonnaise
to get going.
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49. Okay. You go sit in the sun
and let it melt in.
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50. Hmph. Why me?
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51. Yuck. I smell like a sandwich.
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52. Smithers, what's the meaning of
this slacking off?
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53. There's a bee in my eye, sir.
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54. - And?
- I- I'm allergic to bee stings.
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55. They cause me to, uh, die.
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56. But we're running out of
forward momentum.
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57. Uh, perhaps you could pedal
for just a little while, sir.
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58. Quite impossible.
I can try to bat him off if you like.
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59. Uh, really, that's o-
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60. Holy cats, man.
We're starting to wobble.
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61. Get me to a hospital.
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62. You have to pedal.
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63. Oh, "tuddle" Sunday trousers.
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64. Fear not. I'll get you
to a hospital-
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65. the only way I know how.
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66. Smithers, you infernal ninny. Stick your
left hoof on that flange now!
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67. Now, if you can get it through
your bug-addled brain...
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68. jam that second mephitic clodhopper
of yours on the right doodad.
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69. Now pump those scrawny chicken legs,
you stuporous funker!
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70. One more jostle,
you wretched shirk-a-day.
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71. Help me.
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72. Holy smokes!
You need booze.
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73. - Hi, everybody!
- Hi, Dr. Nick.
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74. Dr. Nick, this malpractice committee has
received a few complaints against you.
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75. Of the 160 gravest charges,
the most troubling are:
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76. performing major operations with a knife
and fork from a seafood restaurant-
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77. But I cleaned them
with my napkin.
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78. misuse of the cadavers-
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79. I get here earlier when I drive
in the car pool lane.
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80. There's a crazy man
with a scalpel in E.R.!
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81. He's demanding
to see a quack.
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82. Hi, everybody.
Now, tell Dr. Nick where is the trouble.
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83. I'm edgy.
I got ants in my pants.
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84. I'm discombobulated!
Get me a calmative!
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85. Slow down, sir.
You're going to give yourself skin failure.
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86. Okay. Now, the symptoms
you describe point to "bonus eruptus. "
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87. It's a terrible disorder where the skeleton tries
to leap out the mouth and escape the body.
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88. Now you're talkin'.
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89. Our one chance is
"transdental electromicide. "
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90. I'll need a golf cart motor
with a 1,000-volt "capacimator," stat!
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91. Doctor, I can't
in good conscience-
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92. Aaah!
Now there's no time, man!
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93. We'll have to improvise.
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94. - Oh.
- Keep doing that every five seconds.
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95. Dr. Nick, we owe you an apology.
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96. - Consider the charges dropped.
- All right!
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97. Free nose jobs for everybody!
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98. - Ay.! You first.
- Give me a Van Heflin.
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99. Say, uh, Barn, uh, remember when I said I'd have
to send away to NASA to calculate your bar tab?
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100. Oh, yeah. We all had a good laugh, Moe.
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101. The results came back today.
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102. You owe me $70 billion.
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103. - Hmm.
- No. Wait, wait, wait.
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104. That's for the Voyager spacecraft.
Um, your tab's $14 billion.
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105. Well, alls I got is 2,000 bucks.
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106. Well, that's halfway there.
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107. Ha. Freeze, dude. Move a muscle
and I'll blow this wino's head off.
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108. I'm behind three inches
of bulletproof glass. Do your worst.
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109. All right.
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110. No. Stay out of there.
Stay out of there! Oh! Good God, no!
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111. Ho! Good-bye student loan payments.
Ha, ha!
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112. Come back here, you stinkin'-
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113. Hey. I wonder
how much air is in here.
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114. Well, Seymour, I made it-
despite your directions.
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115. Ah. Superintendent Chalmers.
Welcome.
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116. - I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.
- Yeah.
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117. Oh, egads!
My roast is ruined.
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118. But what if...
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119. I were to purchase fast food
and disguise it as my own cooking?
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120. Delightfully devilish, Seymour.
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121. Ah-
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122. Skinner
with his crazy explanations
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123. The superintendent's
gonna need his medication
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124. When he hears Skinner's
lame exaggerations
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125. There'll be trouble
in town tonight
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126. Seymour!
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127. Superintendent, I was just-
uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill.
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128. Isometric exercise.
Care to join me?
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129. Why is there smoke coming out of
your oven, Seymour?
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130. Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke.
It's steam.
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131. Steam from the steamed clams we're having.
Mmm. Steamed clams.
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132. Whew.
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133. Superintendent, I hope you're ready for
mouthwatering hamburgers.
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134. I thought we were having
steamed clams.
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135. D'oh, no. I said steamed hams.
That's what I call hamburgers.
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136. You call hamburgers
steamed hams?
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137. Yes. It's a regional dialect.
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138. - Uh-huh. Uh, what region?
- Uh, upstate New York.
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139. Really. Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never
heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams. "
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140. Oh, not in Utica. No.
It's an Albany expression.
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141. I see.
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142. You know, these hamburgers are quite similar
to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
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143. Oh, no.
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144. Patented Skinner burgers.
Old family recipe.
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145. - For steamed hams.
- Yes.
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146. Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite
the fact that they are obviously grilled.
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147. Ye-
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148. You know, the-
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149. One thing I should-
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150. - Excuse me for one second.
- Of course.
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151. Well, that was wonderful.
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152. A good time was had
by all. I'm pooped.
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153. Yes. I should be- Good Lord!
What is happening in there?
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154. - Aurora borealis.
- Uh-
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155. Aurora borealis
at this time of year...
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156. at this time of day
in this part of the country...
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157. localized entirely
within your kitchen?
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158. - Yes.
- May I see it?
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159. No.
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160. Seymour.! The house is on fire.!
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161. No, Mother. It's just
the northern lights.
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162. Well, Seymour,
you are an odd fellow...
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163. but I must say
you steam a good ham.
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164. Help.! Help.!
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165. "Helms calls for
doughnut tax. "
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166. There. Done and done.
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167. Oh.! Why did I have to stop at the railroad tracks?
Better get some change.
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168. It's okay. It's okay.
I'm back.
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169. See? Daddy's here.
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170. Come on, Maggie.
Maybe if you just squeeze a little.
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171. That's it. That's it. I-
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172. D'oh!
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173. Okay, okay. Think, Homer.
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174. The dog.
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175. Okay. Go, boy!
Go find help.
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176. Go find help, boy.
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177. No! Bad dog! Bad dog!
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178. Oh. Don't worry, Maggie.
I'll think of something.
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179. Who's that little baby?
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180. You know, I went to the McDonald's
in, uh, Shelbyville on Friday night.
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181. - The Mc-what?
- Uh, McDonald's restaurant.
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182. I- I never heard of it
either, but, uh...
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183. - they have over 2,000 locations in this state alone.
- Must have sprung up overnight.
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184. You know the funniest thing though?
It's the little differences.
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185. - Example.
- Well, at McDonald's you can buy a Krusty Burger with cheese.
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186. But they don't call it
a Krusty Burger with cheese.
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187. - Get out. Well, what do they call it?
- A Quarter Pounder with cheese.
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188. Quarter Pounder with cheese?
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189. Well, I can picture
the cheese, but, uh-
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190. Do they have Krusty partially gelatinated
nondairy gum-based beverages?
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191. Mm-hmm.
They call 'em shakes.
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192. "Shakes. " You don't know what you're gettin'.
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193. Well, I know what I'm gettin'-
some doughnuts.
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194. Uh, help me out of
the booth, boys.
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195. Ay. Que día miserable
a trabajo.
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196. Primero, el ataque
del "woodpeckero" loco.
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197. Luego, un "desastro"
de electricidad.
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198. E finalmente, una "catástrofía"
con una pelota de baseball.
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199. Tiempo para "relaxar"en paz y quieto.
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200. Ay.!: Naranjas en la cabeza.!
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201. Whoa!
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202. Ay.!: Una "candelabra"
"precariosa".!
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203. No, no, no, no, no.!
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204. Ay. Dónde está mi tequila?
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205. Doughnuts
I got doughnuts, I got-
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206. Hey. I know you.
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207. Hey, hey. Wait up.
We gotta swap insurance info.
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208. Hey!
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209. Hey.
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210. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
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211. Whoa!
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212. Hold it right there. Looks like the spider
caught himself a couple of flies.
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213. Come on, boy.
This is the spot right here.
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214. That's a good boy.
Good boy.
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215. Do your dirty,
sinful business.
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216. Howdy, Reverend Lovejoy.
Nice to see you there...
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217. on my lawn with...
your dog.
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218. Oh. Uh, oh.
Bad dog.
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219. Look at that.
Right on Ned's lawn.
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220. Now, how could you do
such a thing?
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221. Good boy.
Don't stop now. Bad dog!
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222. - I condemn you to hell.
- Better get the old snow shovel back from Homer, huh?
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223. Good boy.
Don't stop the music.
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224. Marge Simpson. Still making juice
the old-fashioned way?
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225. No. I've got gum
in my hair.
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226. Oh, we've tried everything.
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227. Olive oil, lemon juice,
tartar sauce, chocolate syrup...
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228. gravy, bacon fat,
hummus and baba ghanoush.
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229. My scalp hurts
from horsefly bites.
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230. Why don't you freeze it with an ice cube
and hit it with a hammer?
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231. - Works for me when I get bubbly gum in the old push broom.
- That sounds okay.
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232. Aaah! Aaah!
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233. - Stop! Stop!
- Hmm.
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234. I seem to have mashed
more hair into it. Oh, well.
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235. Ice cubes are useless, man.
Chewing gum's got to be chewed out.
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236. Does the whole town
have to hear about this?
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237. Arr! Have ye tried
a Baltic squid?
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238. They can suck the bolts
out of a submarine's hull.
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239. All right! Fangoria will give me
25 bucks for this shot.
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240. I can give you the name of
a good gum and hair man.
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241. I have a word of advice.
Don't try to dig gum out with a bone.
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242. It just makes things worse.
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243. Leave it in as evidence.
Bazooka Joe's got deep pockets.
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244. Perhaps I can help. My papa is foreman
of the Düsseldorf Gum Works.
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245. Some folk'll never eat a skunk
but then again some folk'll
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246. Like Cletus
the Slack-Jawed Yokel
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247. Hey. What's goin' on on this side?
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248. Hey, Brandine. You might could wear
these to your job interview.
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249. And scuff up
the topless dancin' runway?
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250. - Nah. You best bring 'em back where from you got 'em.
- Okay.
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251. Back you go...
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252. to waits for a woman
of less discriminatin' tastes.
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253. Most folk'll never lose a toe
and then again, some folk'll
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254. Like Cletus
the Slack-Jawed Yokel
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255. Hey. You know what?
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256. I could call my ma
while I'm up here.
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257. Hey, Ma!
Get off the dang roof!
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258. Yes. And one with
extra cheese.
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259. - Thank you.
- C-Can I use your bathroom?
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260. No. You may not.
The bathroom is for paying customers only.
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261. - If you purchase an item, you may use the bathroom.
- Okay.
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262. Um, how about that?
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263. That is a rare photo
of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore.
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264. - It is worth $ 150.
- What can I get for 75 cents?
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265. You may purchase
this charming Hamburglar Adventure.
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266. A child has already solved theJumble
using crayons. The answer is "fries. "
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267. Uh, Milhouse,
what's going on?
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268. You said you just needed to use the bathroom.
Now I find you buying comics.
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269. Oh, our transaction is completed.
You may take the boy.
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270. Wait!
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271. As soon as Zed gets here, the party will begin.
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272. There he is now.
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273. - Who are you?
- Uh, can my son use your bathroom?
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274. - You gotta say yes!
- Okay, but be quick.
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275. It's in back.
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276. Uh, so, uh,
n-nice store.
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277. Uh, you know, when I was a kid this used to be
a pet store.
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278. Yeah. Right over there against that wall
there was the cutest little-
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279. Get in the corner.
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280. Hey, Dad.
Can we get this, please?
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281. Oh, my gosh.
Sorry, mister.
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282. Want me to cut off the gum
or just style it?
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283. Cut it off,
but be careful.
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284. Don't worry, sweetheart.
I know how important hair is to a little girl.
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285. You keep squirming, there's going to be
a little bald girl with no lollipop.
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286. I love it.
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287. I finally look like
a real person. Thanks.
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288. Ha-ha!
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289. Ha-ha!
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290. Ha-ha!
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291. Crud.
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292. - He's down there.
- Crud.!
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293. Do you find something comical
about my appearance...
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294. - when I am driving my automobile?
- Yeah.
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295. Everyone needs to drive
a vehicle- even the very tall.
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296. This was the largest auto
that I could afford.
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297. Should I therefore be made
the subject of fun?
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298. - I guess so.
- Wh- He-
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299. Would you like it
if I laughed at your misfortune?
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300. Huh? Maybe we should find out.
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301. Now march.
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302. Hey, everybody. Look at this.
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303. It's that boy
who laughs at everyone.
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304. Let's laugh at him.
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305. Ha-ha!
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306. Wave to the people.
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307. Blow them kisses.
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308. Well, Milhouse, I guess interesting stuff
does happen to people in Springfield.
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309. Yep. Everybody in town's
got their story to tell.
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310. There's just not
enough time to hear 'em all.
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311. Oh. Sorry I'm late.
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312. There was trouble at the lab with the running
and the exploding and the crying.
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313. One of the monkeys stole
the glasses off my head.
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314. Oh, no, wait.
Please, no. Please.
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315. I have a funny story, if you listen.
I even wrote theme music.
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316. Listen.
Hey. Hey.
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317. Professor Frink
Professor Frink
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318. He'll make you laugh
He'll make you think
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319. He likes to run
and then the thing with the
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320. Person
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321. Oh, boy.
That monkey is going to pay.
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322. Shh!
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