1. D'
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2. Milhouse, do you ever think
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3. about the people in those cars?
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4. I try not to.
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5. It makes it harder
to spit on them.
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6. Sometimes I wonder about
all the people in this town.
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7. Do you think
anything interesting
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8. ever happens to them?
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9. I mean, there must be
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10. thousands of great
stories out there.
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11. What do you think, Milhouse?
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12. Milhouse?
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13. Sorry, I saw a convertible.
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14. - You were saying?
- Forget it.
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15. Come on, it's 11:00.
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16. I need some sugar.
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17. I wish you'd come
to my party, Apu.
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18. You could use some merriment.
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19. Listen, serving the customer
is merriment enough for me.
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20. Thank you. Come again.
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21. You see? Most enjoyable.
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22. I guarantee a wingding
of titanic proportions.
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23. You will be there
or kindly be square.
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24. Well, I don't like
to leave the store, but...
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25. for the next five minutes
I'm going to party
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26. like it's on sale for 19.99.
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27. Quick, quick,
no time to cook them.
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28. They will plump in my stomach.
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29. Whoo! Hello, beautiful.
No ring I see.
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30. So you are only arranged
to be married.
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31. I love this song.
Let us boogie.
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32. Whoo, I am hot.
Let us get out of here.
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33. Don't worry.
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34. I'll tell everybody
you were untouchable.
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35. Whoo! Woo-hoo.
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36. Sanjay, never have
I partied so hearty.
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37. - Same time next year, ya?
- Yes!
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38. Made it. And with
one minute to spare.
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39. You took four minutes
of my life and I want them back.
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40. I'd only waste them anyway.
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41. Swing Serenade is brought
to you by Gorman's Ear Guards.
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42. Guard your ears...
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43. with Gorman's.
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44. Mom, Dad threw his beer can
at the Miracle-Gro guy on TV.
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45. Can I recycle it?
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46. Why not.
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47. Waa!
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48. There's gum in my hair!
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49. Mom, someone threw
gum in my hair!
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50. Are you sure?
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51. Maybe it's just shampoo.
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52. That washes right out.
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53. No, it's somebody's gross gum!
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54. Get it out!
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55. It's pulling out my hair!
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56. Wait... if I remember my Heloise,
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57. the trick to getting out
gum is peanut butter.
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58. There.
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59. Now that gum should
lift right out.
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60. Maybe it needs
a little mayonnaise
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61. to get going.
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62. Okay, you go sit in the sun
and let it melt in.
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63. Why me?
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64. Yuck. I smell like a sandwich.
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65. Smithers, what's the meaning
of this slacking off?
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66. There's a bee in my eye, Sir.
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67. And?
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68. I'm allergic to bee-stings.
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69. They cause me to, die.
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70. But we're running out
of forward momentum.
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71. Perhaps you could pedal
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72. for just a little while, Sir?
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73. Quite impossible.
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74. I can try to bat him off
if you like.
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75. Really, that's ok...
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76. Holy cats, man,
we're starting to wobble.
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77. Get me to a hospital.
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78. You have... to... pedal.
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79. Tuttle's Sunday trousers.
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80. Fear not, I'll get you
to a hospital
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81. the only way I know how.
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82. Smithers, you infernal ninny!
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83. Stick your left hoof
on that flange now!
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84. Now, if you can get it through
your bug-addled brain
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85. jam that second mephitic
clod-hopper of yours
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86. on the right doodad!
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87. Now pump those scrawny
chicken legs,
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88. you stuporous funker!
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89. One more jostle,
you wretched shirkaday.
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90. Help me.
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91. Holy smokes!
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92. You need booze.
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93. Hi, everybody.
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94. Hi, Dr. Nick.
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95. Dr. Nick,
this malpractice committee
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96. has received a few complaints
against you.
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97. Of the 160 gravest charges,
the most troubling are
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98. performing major operations
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99. with a knife and fork
from a seafood restaurant...
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100. But I cleaned them
with my napkin.
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101. Misuse of the cadavers...
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102. I get here earlier when I drive
in the car-pool lane.
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103. There's a crazy man
with a scalpel in E.R.!
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104. He's demanding to see a quack.
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105. Hi, everybody.
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106. Now tell Dr. Nick
where is the trouble.
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107. I'm edgy!
I got ants in my pants!
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108. I'm discombobulated!
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109. Give me a calmative!
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110. Slow down, sir.
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111. You're going to give
yourself skin failure.
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112. Okay, now the symptoms
you describe
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113. point to "bonus eruptus."
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114. It's a terrible disorder
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115. where the skeleton
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116. tries to leap out the mouth
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117. and escape the body.
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118. Now you're talking.
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119. Our one chance is
trans-dental electromicide.
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120. I'll need a golf-cart motor with
1,000 volt capacimator, stat.
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121. Doctor, I can't in good
conscience...
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122. Now there's no time, man.
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123. We'll have to improvise.
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124. Keep doing that
every five seconds.
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125. Dr. Nick, we owe
you an apology.
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126. Consider the charges dropped.
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127. All right!
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128. Free nose jobs for everybody.
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129. Yi! You first.
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130. Give me a Van Heflin.
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131. Say, Barn...
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132. remember when I said
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133. I'd have to send away to NASA
to calculate your bar tab?
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134. Yeah.
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135. We all had a good laugh, Moe.
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136. The results came back today.
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137. You owe me $70 billion.
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138. No, wait, wait wait,
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139. that's for
the Voyager spacecraft.
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140. Um, your tab's $14 billion.
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141. Well, alls I got is 2,000 bucks.
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142. Well, that's halfway there.
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143. Freeze, dude.
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144. Move a muscle and I'll
blow this wino's head off.
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145. I'm behind three inches
of bullet-proof glass.
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146. Do your worst.
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147. All right.
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148. No, stay out of there.
Stay out of there!
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149. Good God, no!
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150. Good-bye student loan payments.
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151. Ha-ha.
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152. Come back here, you stinking...
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153. Hey, I wonder
how much air is in here.
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154. Well, Seymour, I made it,
despite your directions.
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155. Superintendent
Chalmers, welcome.
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156. I hope you're prepared for
an unforgettable luncheon.
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157. Yeah.
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158. Ye Gods!
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159. My roast is ruined.
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160. But what if...
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161. I were to purchase fast food
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162. and disguise it
as my own cooking?
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163. Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
Delightfully devilish, Seymour.
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164. Seymour!
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165. Superintendent!
I was just...
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166. stretching my calves
on the windowsill.
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167. Isometric exercise...
Care to join me?
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168. Why is there smoke coming out
of your oven, Seymour?
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169. That isn't smoke.
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170. It's steam.
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171. Steam from the steamed clams
we're having.
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172. Steamed clams.
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173. Whoo.
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174. Superintendent,
I hope you're ready
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175. for mouth-watering hamburgers.
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176. I thought we were having
steamed clams.
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177. No, I said
"steamed hams."
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178. That's what I call hamburgers.
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179. You call hamburgers
"steamed hams"?
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180. Yes, it's a regional dialect.
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181. What region?
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182. Upstate New York.
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183. Really? Well, I'm from Utica,
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184. and I've never heard anyone use
the phrase "steamed hams."
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185. Not in Utica, no,
it's an Albany expression.
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186. I see.
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187. You know, these hamburgers
are quite similar
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188. to the ones they have
at Krusty Burger.
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189. No.
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190. Patented Skinner burgers,
old family recipe.
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191. - For steamed hams.
- Yes.
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192. Yes, and you call them
steamed hams
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193. despite the fact they are
obviously grilled.
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194. Y-You know th...
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195. One thing I sh...
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196. Excuse me for one second.
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197. Of course.
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198. Well, that was wonderful.
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199. Good time was had by all.
I'm pooped.
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200. Yes, I should be...
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201. Good Lord! What is
happening in there?
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202. Aurora borealis.
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203. Aurora borealis?
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204. At this time of year,
at this time of day,
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205. in this part of the country,
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206. localized entirely
within your kitchen?
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207. - Yes.
- May I see it?
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208. No.
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209. Seymour, the house is on fire!
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210. No, Mother, it's just
the Northern Lights.
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211. Well, Seymour,
you are an odd fellow,
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212. but I must say,
you steam a good ham.
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213. Help! Help!
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214. "Helms calls for donut tax."
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215. There! Done and done.
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216. Why did I have to stop
at the railroad tracks?
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217. Better get some change.
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218. It's okay. It's okay.
I'm back.
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219. See? Daddy's here.
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220. Come on, Maggie.
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221. Maybe if you just
squeeze a little...
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222. That's it. That's it. I...
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223. D'
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224. Okay, okay, think, Homer.
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225. The dog!
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226. Okay, go, boy.
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227. Go find help.
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228. Go find help, boy.
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229. D'bad dog.
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230. Bad dog!
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231. Don't worry, Maggie.
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232. I'll think of something.
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233. Where's that lil' baby?
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234. You know,
I went to the McDonald's
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235. in, Shelbyville on Friday night.
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236. The Mc-what?
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237. McDonald's restaurant.
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238. I never heard of it either
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239. but, they have over
2,000 locations
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240. in this state alone.
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241. Must have sprung up overnight.
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242. You know the funniest thing,
though?
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243. It's the little differences.
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244. - Example.
- Well, at McDonald's,
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245. you can buy a Krusty Burger
with cheese, right?
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246. But they don't call it
a Krusty Burger with cheese.
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247. Get out! What do they call it?
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248. A Quarter Pounder with cheese.
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249. Quarter Pounder with cheese?
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250. Well, I can picture the cheese,
but, do they have
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251. Krusty partially gelatinated,
nondairy, gum-based beverages?
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252. They call them shakes.
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253. Shakes.
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254. You don't know
what you're getting.
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255. Well, I know what I'm getting...
Some donuts.
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256. Help me out of the booth, boys.
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257. Ay, que dia miserable a trabajo.
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258. Primero, el attaque
del woodpeckero loco.
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259. Luego, un disastro
de electricidad.
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260. Y finalmente
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261. una catastrofia
con una pelota de beisbol.
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262. Tiempo para relaxar
en paz y quieto.
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263. Ay! Naranjas en la cabeza!
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264. Ay, una candelabra precariosa!
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265. Ooh! Ooh!
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266. Mira que cosa tan terrible
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267. no puedo entender algo como esto
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268. como puedo vivir con
alguien tan irresponsible.
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269. No, no, no, no!
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270. ¿Donde esta mi tequila?
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271. Hey, I know you!
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272. Ooh!
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273. Hey, hey, wait up!
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274. We got to swap insurance info.
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275. Hey!
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276. Hey!
Hey!
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277. Whoa, whoa, whoa...
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278. Whoa, whoa, whoa...
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279. Whoa...
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280. Hold it right there.
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281. Looks like the spider caught
himself a couple of flies.
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282. Come on, boy.
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283. This is the spot right here.
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284. That's a good boy.
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285. Good boy.
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286. Do your dirty, sinful business.
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287. Well, howdy, Reverend Lovejoy.
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288. Nice to see you there...
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289. on my lawn with...
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290. your dog.
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291. Ooh... bad dog.
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292. Look at that.
Right on Ned's lawn.
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293. Now, how could you
do such a thing?
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294. Good boy. Don't stop now.
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295. Bad dog!
I condemn you to hell.
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296. Better get the ol' snow shovel
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297. back from Homer?
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298. Good boy.
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299. Don't stop the music.
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300. Marge Simpson,
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301. still making juice
the old-fashioned way?
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302. No, I've got gum in my hair.
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303. We've tried everything...
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304. Olive oil, lemon juice,
tartar sauce, chocolate syrup,
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305. gravy, bacon fat,
hummus and baba ganoush.
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306. My scalp hurts
from horsefly bites.
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307. Why don't you freeze it
with an ice cube,
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308. and hit it with a hammer?
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309. Works for me when I get
bubbly-gum
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310. in the ol' push broom.
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311. That sounds okay.
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312. Stop! Stop!
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313. I seem to have
mashed more hair into it.
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314. Well.
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315. Ice cubes are useless, man.
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316. Chewing gum's got
to be chewed out.
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317. Does the whole town
have to hear about this?
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318. Gar, have ye tried
a Baltic squid?
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319. They can suck the bolts
out of a submarine's hull.
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320. All right.
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321. Fangoria will give me
25 bucks for this shot.
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322. I can give you the name
of a good gum-and-hair man.
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323. I have a word of advice:
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324. don't try to dig gum out
with a bone.
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325. It just makes things worse.
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326. Leave it in as evidence.
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327. Bazooka Joe's got deep pockets.
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328. Perhaps I can help.
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329. My papa is foreman
of the Dusseldorf gum-works.
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330. Hey, what's going on
on this side?
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331. Hey, Brandine,
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332. you might could wear these
to your job interview.
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333. And scuff up the topless
dancing runway?
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334. Naw. You best
bring them back
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335. where from you got them.
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336. Okay.
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337. Back you go...
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338. To waits for a woman
of less discriminating tastes.
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339. Hey, you know what?
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340. I could call my ma
while I'm up here.
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341. Hey, Ma!
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342. Get off the dang roof!
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343. Yes, and one with extra cheese.
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344. Thank you.
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345. Can I use your bathroom?
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346. No, you may not.
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347. The bathroom is for
paying customers only.
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348. If you purchase an item,
you may use the bathroom.
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349. Okay.
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350. Um... how about that?
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351. That is a rare photo
of Sean Connery
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352. signed by Roger Moore.
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353. It is worth $150.
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354. What can I get for 75 cents?
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355. You may purchase this charming
Hamburglar adventure.
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356. A child has already solved the
jumble using crayons.
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357. The answer is "fries."
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358. Milhouse, What's going on?
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359. You said you just needed
to use the bathroom.
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360. Now I find you buying comics!
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361. Our transaction is completed.
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362. You may take the boy.
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363. Wait!
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364. As soon as Zed gets here,
the party will begin.
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365. There he is now.
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366. Who are you?
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367. Can my son use your bathroom?
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368. You got to say "yes"!
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369. Okay, but be quick.
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370. It's in back.
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371. So, n-nice store.
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372. You know, when I was a kid,
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373. this used to be a pet store.
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374. Yeah, right over there
against that wall
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375. there was the cutest little...
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376. Get in the corner.
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377. Hey, Dad, can we
get this, please?
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378. My gosh!
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379. Sorry, mister.
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380. Want me to cut off the gum
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381. or just style it?
Copy !req
382. Cut if off, but be careful.
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383. Don't worry, sweetheart.
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384. I know how important hair is
to a little girl.
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385. You keep squirming
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386. there's going to be
a little bald girl
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387. with no lollipop.
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388. I love it!
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389. I finally look like
a real person.
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390. Thanks!
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391. Ha! Ha!
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392. Ha! Ha!
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393. Ha! Ha!
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394. Crud.
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395. He's down there.
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396. Crud!
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397. Do you find something comical
about my appearance
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398. when I'm driving my automobile?
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399. Yeah.
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400. Everyone needs to drive
a vehicle, even the very tall.
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401. This was the largest auto
that I could afford.
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402. Should I, therefore,
be made the subject of fun?
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403. I guess so.
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404. Would you like it
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405. if I laughed at your misfortune?
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406. Maybe we should find out.
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407. Now... march!
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408. Hey, everybody, look at this!
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409. It's that boy
who laughs at everyone.
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410. Let's laugh at him.
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411. Ha! Ha!
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412. Wave to the people!
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413. Blow them kisses!
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414. Well, Milhouse,
I guess interesting stuff
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415. does happen to people
in Springfield.
Copy !req
416. Yep. Everybody in town's
got their story to tell.
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417. There's just not enough time
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418. to hear them all.
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419. Sorry I'm late.
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420. There was trouble at the lab...
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421. With the running,
the exploding and the crying.
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422. One of the monkeys
stole the glasses off my head!
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423. No, wait. Please, no!
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424. Please, I have a funny story...
If you listen.
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425. I even wrote theme music.
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426. Yeah, listen...
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427. Boy, that monkey
is going to pay.
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428. Shh!
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429. ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
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