1. The Simpsons
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2. D'oh!
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3. Live from the famous
brown sands of Public Beach, Delaware...
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4. it's the Grand Nationals
of Sand Castle Building... Preview.
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5. Oh! Saturday afternoon TV
is so boring.
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6. - Bikini girls.
- Hmm?
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7. - Dune buggies.
- Hmm!
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8. Daredevil surfers.
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9. Ordinarily this beach would be swarming
with them, but not today. Oh, no!
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10. They've all been cleared out to make way
for painstaking sand preparation.
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11. That's right, Dick. This year
everyone's abuzz about one thing-
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12. the absence of Mark Rodkin.
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13. Oh, wait. There he is.
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14. - Marge, I'm bored!
- Why don't you read something?
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15. Because I'm trying
to reduce my boredom.
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16. You can hand out these flyers
for the neighborhood rummage sale.
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17. You'll get some fresh air and exercise.
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18. Eh, I'll do it anyway.
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19. Come on, boy!
We're going to see the neighbors.
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20. Good old Evergreen Terrace.
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21. The swankiest street in the classiest part
of Pressboard Estates.
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22. If you love it so much,
why are you always littering?
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23. It's easier. Duh!
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24. Oh! Howdy, neighbor!
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25. May I spray you with the hose
in a playful fashion?
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26. Eh, spray the boy.
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27. Well, ready
for the big rummage sale?
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28. Oh, yes, indeed.
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29. I've got nothing but time until they fix
that malfunctioning Squishy machine.
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30. Hey, I never noticed this place.
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31. Dad, it's right across
the street from us.
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32. That fancy house will never sell.
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33. Nobody who could afford it
would want to live in this neighborhood.
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34. Hey, what's wrong with this neighborhood?
Big shot!
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35. Too good to buy a house here, snobby?
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36. - Who you talking to, Homer?
- The guy who doesn't live there.
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37. Can we get rid
of this ayatollah T-shirt?
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38. Khomeini died years ago.
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39. But, Marge,
it works on any ayatollah-
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40. Ayatollah Nakhbadeh,
Ayatollah Zahedi.
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41. As we speak, Ayatollah Razmara and his cadre
of fanatics are consolidating their power.
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42. I don't care
who's consolidating their power.
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43. Well, we don't need this.
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44. Marge, that's
the Rhinestone Nights Fashion Gun!
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45. - I need it to rhinestone up my old clothing.
- Who's "Disco Stu"?
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46. Oh. Well, I wanted to write "Disco Stud,"
but I ran out of space.
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47. Not that Disco Stu
didn't get his share of the action.
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48. So, if you're looking for
a half bag of charcoal briquettes...
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49. or an artificial Christmas tree,
trunk only...
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50. come on over to the Hibbert table,
pronto!
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51. Well, sir, looks like we got
some nice items here at Table Glick.
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52. Like this. What the heckaroonie
is this, Mrs. Glick?
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53. It is a candy dish, Ned.
Ninety dollars.
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54. Uh-huh. Well, I, uh- I guess you
could put a lot of nice things in there.
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55. No! Just candy, Ned.
Ninety dollars!
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56. Well, looks like somebody
sold something today.
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57. Are you interested in that motorized tie rack,
Principal Skinner?
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58. Hmm. It's awfully loud.
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59. Well, you can always
take the motor out...
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60. and use it as an ordinary tie rack.
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61. But now the ties are motionless.
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62. Those in back
are virtually inaccessible.
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63. Well, it's a moot point as I have
only one tie to begin with.
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64. I believe I'll pass.
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65. Have you sold that tie rack yet?
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66. - No.
- I'll take it.
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67. Now, folks, nothing spells fun...
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68. like rhinestones on a dungaree jacket.
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69. Stu, you should buy that.
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70. Hey. Disco Stu doesn't advertise.
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71. Uh, hey, Ned,
let me help you with that.
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72. Hey, everybody!
Who thinks Flanders should shut up?
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73. So, anyone here
from Evergreen Terrace?
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74. I think this is
the best neighborhood in town.
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75. Anybody agree with me?
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76. - You're the king, Homer!
- King of the neighborhood!
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77. Say, that ayatollah thinks he's better
than America. Is he right?
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78. - No!
- Yes.
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79. - For only five dollars, you can sock it to him in style.
- Right here!
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80. And for the man who has everything,
a tie-rack motor.
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81. I'll take that.
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82. Hey, big spender
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83. Dig this blender
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84. Rainbow suspenders
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85. Hey, big spender
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86. We surrender
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87. Spend
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88. Some dough at table three
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89. Thank you, neighbors. Thank you.
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90. Now, let's give it up for table five!
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91. Ah, ah, ah, ah
Table five, table five
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92. Ah, ah, ah, ah
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93. Table fi-I-I-ive
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94. Table five
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95. Table five
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96. Hey, what's the big deal?
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97. It's just some new guy moving in.
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98. Disco Stu likes disco music.
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99. Hi there, neighbors.
Uh, I'm George Bush.
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100. Former president George Bush?
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101. Oh, former president George Bush!
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102. Okay, let's give it up for the new guy!
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103. Now, let's all turn around
and pay attention to me again.
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104. Hello. Hello!
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105. Hello!
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106. Wow! A former president
living right across the street!
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107. Oh, why did he have to move in
on my territory? Look at him.
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108. Thinks just because he led the free world
he can act like a big shot!
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109. Stupid president! Why couldn't he
just stay in his own state?
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110. Actually, this is one of the nine states
where Mr. Bush claims residency, Dad.
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111. I wouldn't have voted for him, but it's nice
to have a celebrity in the neighborhood.
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112. Wait a minute. If Lisa didn't vote for him,
and I didn't vote for him-
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113. You didn't vote for anybody.
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114. I voted for Prell to go back
to the old glass bottle.
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115. After that, I became deeply cynical.
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116. And your business here, Mr. Flanders?
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117. Well, sir, I'm welcoming the Bushes
on behalf of the neighborhood association.
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118. Never mind about that, Ray.
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119. Just give 'em a quick pass with
the metal detector and let 'em on in.
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120. Hey, Bar! The neighbors are here.
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121. Howdilly-doodilly there,
President Bush-
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122. Or should I say President Neighbor?
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123. I'm Ned Flanders,
and this is Maude, Rod and Todd.
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124. Howdilly-doodilly yourself there, Ned.
This is my wife, Barbara.
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125. Call her Bar.
Would you like some lemonade?
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126. - Tiptop-notch!
- Okilly-dokilly.
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127. Thankilly-dankilly.
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128. - Greatalicious.
- Scrumpdiddlerific.
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129. Fine and dandy like sour candy!
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130. Bar's a whiz with cold drinks,
aren't you, Bar?
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131. Don't understand lemonade myself.
Not my forte.
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132. What brings you to Springfield?
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133. George and I just wanted
to be private citizens again...
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134. go where nobody cared about politics.
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135. So we found the town with the lowest
voter turnout in America.
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136. Just happy to be here
among good, average people...
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137. with no particular hopes or dreams.
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138. But, Mr. President,
we're not all good people.
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139. There's one little boy
you should watch out for.
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140. He's a bad, bad little boy.
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141. Now, Todd, don't scare the president.
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142. Oh, look at those phonies
sucking up to Bush.
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143. I guess you might say he's barking
up the wrong Bush.
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144. There it is, Homer. The cleverest
thing you'll ever say, and nobody heard it.
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145. D'oh!
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146. Just gonna relax with
my U.S. News & World whatnot.
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147. Oh, good. Roasting the new guy.
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148. Hello, Mr. Bush!
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149. George, this is a neighborhood boy,
Bart Simpson.
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150. - He came over to say hi.
- Yeah. Hello.
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151. - Hi! Hey, what's this?
- My electric card shuffler. Don't go near that-
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152. Now, I told you- Oh, those cards
are from Air Force One...
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153. and they only give you so many packs.
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154. Oh, George! Boys will be boys.
Bart's just being friendly.
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155. Why don't you get off that sofa
and show Bart your photos?
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156. Oh, but he'll gunk 'em all up.
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157. His hands are probably covered
with mud and cookies.
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158. He probably stole a napkin.
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159. - Who's that, George?
- That's me with Charlton Heston.
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160. - He was-
- Who's that, George?
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161. You wouldn't know him.
That's Bob Mosbacher. He was secretary of-
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162. That's a dumb name.
Who's that, George?
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163. Maybe he thinks "Bart" is a dumb-
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164. - How many times were you president, George?
- Just once.
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165. Bar, isn't it time for dinner yet?
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166. I'm making rice. It'll be a while.
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167. Did your Secret Service goons
ever whack anybody, George?
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168. You know, in my day...
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169. little boys didn't call their elders
by their first names.
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170. Yeah? Well, welcome
to the 20th century, George.
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171. I'll kick you right out
of the 20th century, you little-
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172. Oh, man. I only got one minute till they
stop serving those breakfast balls! D'oh!
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173. Ah, let's see now.
What do you folks have here, huh?
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174. Hmm. A Krusty Burger.
That doesn't sound too appetizing.
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175. What kind of stew do you have today?
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176. Uh, we don't have stew.
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177. Sir, why don't you just have the cheeseburger?
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178. That's really more
of a weekend thing, Ray.
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179. Hey, jerk! Move your fanny!
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180. That guy's louder than World War II.
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181. Ray, go see what the rhubarb is,
will you?
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182. Sir, could you pop your hood?
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183. Hey, my taxes paid for that horn!
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184. Why, hello, Mrs. Bush.
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185. Hi, Bart. Mr. Bush is upstairs napping.
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186. Your husband's awful grumpy.
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187. Oh, that's just his way.
He really likes you.
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188. You know, it's time for him
to get up and work on his memoirs.
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189. Why don't you go wake him?
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190. What the-
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191. Great Scott! Don't touch that.
That's the alpenhorn Helmut Kohl gave me.
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192. - Where'd you get those pajamas?
- They're presidential pajamas.
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193. You have to be president,
and you're not president.
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194. - Yes, I am.
- D- No, you're not. Bar!
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195. - Hey, where's your candy?
- We don't have any. Now, go away!
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196. George!
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197. Older people don't eat much candy, Bart,
but I could bake you some cookies.
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198. Can't remember
the last time she made cookies for me.
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199. - What's that?
- Oh, n-nothing.
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200. All right. His story checks out.
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201. Marge, would you love me more
if I were president?
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202. 'Cause I'll do it
if it'll make you happy.
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203. Homie, as long as you keep the car
full of gas, I'm happy.
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204. Well, you can always
depend on that.
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205. And since I'd achieved...
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206. all my goals as president
in one term...
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207. there was no need for a second.
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208. The end.
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209. Mmm. Good memoirs.
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210. Good, not great.
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211. Now, let's look at that old outboard.
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212. Soup that baby up, rattle a few windows
down Kennebunkport next May.
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213. Hello, Mr. Bush!
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214. - What ya doin'?
- Now, don't upset the desk there.
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215. - Careful! You don't want to horse around with-
- Hey, cool! What does this do?
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216. Now, don't you pull that cord, young man!
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217. - No, no. Hey.!
- Whoops.
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218. Bar, my motor's gone loco!
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219. Oh, the birdhouse!
My prize orchids!
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220. No. Not the memoirs.
Don't even think about it.
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221. Not gonna happen.
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222. - Whoa, man.
- Whoa nothing.
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223. I'm gonna do something your daddy
should've done a long time ago.
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224. Now, go home and think about
what you've done, young man.
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225. He spanked you?
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226. You? Bart Simpson?
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227. I begged him to stop, but he said
it was for the good of the nation.
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228. Big deal! When I was a pup, we got spanked
by presidents till the cows came home.
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229. Grover Cleveland spanked me
on two nonconsecutive occasions!
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230. Grampa, I know in your day
spanking was common...
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231. but Homer and I just don't believe
in that kind of punishment.
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232. And that's why your no-good kids
are running wild!
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233. First, Bush invades my home turf,
then he takes my pals...
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234. then he makes fun
of the way I talk... probably.
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235. Now he steals my right to raise
a disobedient, smart-alecky son!
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236. Well, that's it!
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237. Hey, Bush! Get out here!
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238. Excuse me, sir.
Where are you going?
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239. I'm going to punch George Bush
in the face.
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240. Okay. Is he expecting you?
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241. - You owe me an apology!
- Hey, you owe me an apology.
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242. If you were any kind of a father...
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243. you'd have disciplined that boy
a long time ago.
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244. You want to step back, sir?
You're trampling the flowers.
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245. Ooh! Hiding behind
your goons, eh, Bush?
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246. Whoa! Well, you are a wimp!
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247. Wimp, am I?
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248. AgentJohnson, Agent Heintz...
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249. you men stand down.
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250. All right, mister, you want trouble,
you're gonna get trouble.
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251. Oh, I want trouble, all right.
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252. - Then you're gonna get trouble.
- No, you're gonna get trouble.
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253. Oh, that's good.
That's good, 'cause I want trouble.
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254. - Then we're agreed. There'll be trouble.
- Oh, yeah! Lots of trouble.
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255. - Trouble it is!
- For you.
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256. D'oh!
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257. This is gonna be sweet.
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258. Two hundred bottle rockets, and George Bush
doing toe touches by an open window.
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259. You get one up his butt, it's a million points.
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260. Why don't you just
say you're sorry, George?
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261. Because I'm right. Oh, no.
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262. I'm gonna fix their wagon good.
I've pulled some pranks in my time.
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263. I- I don't understand.
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264. Are you saying you and Barbara
are bad neighbors?
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265. No! That's not Bar and me.
It's them.
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266. - Who? Maude and me?
- No! The man and his boy.
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267. You know, the-
the boy is named Bart.
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268. I don't know the name of the man.
Bar! What's the name of the man?
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269. - I'm not getting involved, George.
- Look, just never mind.
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270. I thought the banner was pretty straightforward,
but I guess I'll just take it down.
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271. George, it's time to get dressed.
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272. Nuh-uh. Not going outside today,
not with those neighbors.
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273. Staying right here
till my speech to the Elks Club.
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274. Yoo-hoo.!
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275. - Who is it?
- It's your sons, George Bush Jr. and Jeb Bush.
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276. - Come outside, Dad.
- Oh, good.
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277. Bar! The boys are in the front yard. They'll
help me think of a plan to get those Simpsons.
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278. Oh, George!
Is that all you ever think about?
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279. The boys probably just want
a letter of recommendation.
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280. - Boys? Where are you going?
- Okay, son. Give him the glue!
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281. Hey, lookin'good.!
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282. And that's why I will continue
to oppose teen alcoholism...
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283. in all its forms.
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284. Now, are there any questions?
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285. Keeping in mind that I already
explained about my hair.
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286. Oh, yeah, that's right.
The Simpsons.
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287. President Bush
is driving on our lawn.
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288. - He must be lost.
- He's not lost.
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289. Looks like we're experiencing
some blowback from the wig offensive.
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290. - It's time to hit him where he lives.
- His house?
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291. Bingo.
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292. So I thought to myself,
"What would God do in this situation?"
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293. Locusts. They'll drive him nuts.
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294. It's all in the Bible, son.
It's the prankster's bible.
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295. Hmm. I can't decide if this'll
be considered feisty or crazy.
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296. Hey! Hey, what the-
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297. Oh, if he thinks George Bush'll
stay out of the sewer...
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298. he doesn't know George Bush.
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299. Hey, turkeys! Behind ya.
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300. For the last time, Bush,
apologize for spanking my boy!
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301. Never. You make him apologize
for destroying my memoirs.
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302. You didn't tell me
you destroyed his memoirs.
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303. Never!
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304. Yea, Dad!
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305. I really feel awful
about your lawn, Marge.
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306. George can be so stubborn
when he thinks he's right.
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307. Oh, Homer too.
They're so much alike.
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308. Too bad they got off
on the wrong foot.
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309. It's just like the Noriega thing.
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310. Now he and George
are the best of friends.
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311. Here's a little something
we learned in C.I.A.
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312. - Get him, boys!
- Ow! Ow!
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313. Hello!
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314. Hello!
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315. Now I'll ruin you like a Japanese banquet.
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316. I'll take your head and-
Gorbachev?
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317. What-What are you doing here?
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318. I just dropped by with present
for warming of house.
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319. Instead find you grappling
with local oaf.
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320. Oh, brought some of your commie friends
to help you fight dirty, eh?
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321. Mikhail, they put a wig on my head,
my memoirs got-
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322. George, this is the last straw.!
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323. You apologize to Homer right now!
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324. But, Bar, we can't show any weakness
in front of the Russians.
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325. George!
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326. Yes, dear.
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327. Okay.
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328. I'm sorry I spanked your boy, Homer.
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329. Whoo-hoo! In your face, Bush.
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330. Now apologize for the tax hike.
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331. It's a shame it didn't work out, Marge...
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332. but George just felt this neighborhood
brought out the worst in him and-
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333. Oh, my. Well, so long!
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334. Bye-bye.
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335. Hi!
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336. Pleased to meet you. I just moved in.
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337. My name is Jerry Ford.
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338. Former president Gerald Ford?
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339. Put 'er there. I'm Homer Simpson.
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340. - Say, Homer, do you like football?
- Do I ever!
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341. - Do you like nachos?
- Yes, Mr. Ford.
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342. Well, why don't you come over
and watch the game...
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343. and we'll have nachos
and then some beer?
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344. Ooh!
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345. Jerry, I think you and I
are gonna get along just-
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346. D'oh!
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347. Shh!
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