The Simpsons 7x10

Directed by David Silverman

Buzz Aldrin as himself (voice) • Tress MacNeille as Angela Dare / Gwen the waitress / Homer's cousin's wife (voice) • Glenn Close as Mona Simpson (voice) • Buzz Aldrin as Buzz Aldrin (voice) • Phil Hartman as Lionel Hutz / Troy McClure / Lyle Lanley / others (voice)

Troy McClure hosts a behind-the-scenes look at the show, including clips of the series' beginnings as shorts on "The Tracy Ullman Show," Simpsons trivia questions, and unaired scenes from popular episodes.

Request examples:

!req The Simpsons 7x10 [02:32]
!req The Simpsons 7x10 [The Simpsons 7x10]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req The Simpsons 7x10 [10-11]; !req The Simpsons 7x10 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Live from the Springfield Civic Auditorium,

2. it's "The Simpsons" 138th episode spectacular!

3. Hello. I'm Troy McClure.

4. You may remember me from such Fox network specials

5. as Alien Nose Job,

6. and five fabulous weeks of the Chevy Chase Show.

7. Tonight we're here to honor

8. America's favorite non-prehistoric cartoon family.

9. You'll see long-lost footage,

10. never-before-seen material

11. from your favorite episodes...

12. Old favorites you can't see in syndication.

13. So join me, won't you,

14. for The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular!

15. D'

16. The Simpsons began as the brainchild

17. of cartoonist Matt Groening...

18. The already famous creator of such comics

19. as Damnation, Johnny Reb,

20. and True Murder Stories.

21. In 1987, Groening teamed up with award-winning producers

22. James L. Rooks and Sam Simon.

23. And what better place to premiere their creation

24. than on The Tracey Ullman Show...

25. The nation's showcase for psychiatrist jokes

26. and musical comedy numbers.

27. On April 19, 1987, America first met the Simpsons.

28. Well, good night, son.

29. - Um, Dad? - Yeah?

30. What is the mind? Is it just a system of impulses,

31. or is it something tangible?

32. Relax.

33. What is mind?

34. No matter.

35. What is matter?

36. Never mind.

37. Thanks, Dad.

38. Good night, son.

39. Good night, Lisa.

40. Good night, Mom.

41. Sweet dreams.

42. Thanks, Mom.

43. Sleep tight.

44. I will, Mom.

45. Don't let the bedbugs bite.

46. Bedbugs?

47. Sweet dreams.

48. We may be the best parents in the world.

49. Good night, dear.

50. Good night.

51. All right. Climb in.

52. There's nothing to worry about.

53. Now everyone go to sleep.

54. Good night.

55. Good night.

56. They haven't changed a bit, have they?

57. As the weeks went on, so did the cartoons.

58. Fresh chocolate chip cookies.

59. Don't touch those yet.

60. They're very, very hot.

61. Aha. No one's around.

62. The perfect crime.

63. Yeow!

64. Do I smell cookies?

65. - Where's the cookies? - They're all gone... the whole batch.

66. Somebody ate those cookies.

67. Did you eat the cookies, Maggie?

68. I think she's trying to tell us something.

69. Go on, Maggie.

70. Go on, Maggie. Go! Go!

71. There's no perfect crime.

72. I've got a great idea.

73. Let's play space patrol.

74. I'll be Lissouie, the devil-may-care rocket pilot.

75. Maggie can be Maggina, your spunky sidekick.

76. And you'll be...

77. Bartron, the evil robot

78. from Mars, gone berserk.

79. Do I understand you correctly, Bartron?

80. Do you wish me to release you

81. from the Helmet of Evil Thoughts with my enchanted space wand?

82. Yes! Yes! Yes!

83. I will do it, Bartron,

84. but who knows what mysterious forces will be unleashed?

85. No. Inside, the evil Bartron is a horrible mutant boy.

86. We'll be safe here

87. till Mom and Dad, the evil overlords,

88. get home.

89. As wacky as those kids were,

90. they were no match for Captain Wacky,

91. later renamed Homer.

92. Wake up, everybody!

93. It's World War III!

94. Quick! Down to the fallout shelter.

95. The bombs are dropping.

96. Eighteen seconds.

97. If this were really a nuclear war,

98. we'd all be dead meat by now.

99. Say, you're all shivering.

100. Are you cold or what?

101. Bart!

102. Bart!

103. Time for your Sunday night bath, boy.

104. Got to hide.

105. Bart! Where are you, boy?

106. Oops!

107. Aha!

108. There you go!

109. Now, that's not so bad, is it?

110. Scrub good now.

111. Welcome to zee exotic world

112. of undersea explorer Bart Simpseau.

113. Come with Bart as he dive into zee briny deep,

114. searching for zee wily and elusive washcloth.

115. Suddenly, without warning,

116. zee brave boy get more than he bargain for.

117. Help! Help!

118. Help!

119. Help!

120. Clean as a whistle, Homer.

121. Maybe the drawings were a little crude,

122. but all the characters were there:

123. Itchy and Scratchy,

124. Grampa Simpson,

125. and Krusty the Clown.

126. When we return, more classic moments.

127. And for the first time on TV,

128. our private reel of Simpsons outtakes,

129. including the alternate endings to "Who shot Mr. Burns?"

130. The cash register says "N.R.A. Forever"...

131. Just one of the hundreds of radical right-wing messages

132. inserted into every show by creator Matt Groening.

133. Over the six years The Simpsons has been on the air,

134. we've received dozens of letters from fans

135. wanting to know more about the show.

136. Tonight, we'll answer some of your questions.

137. Professor Lawrence Pierce

138. of the University of Chicago

139. "I think Homer gets stupider every year."

140. That's not a question, professor,

141. but we'll let the viewers judge for themselves.

142. Hello.

143. My name is Mr. Burns.

144. I believe you have a letter for me.

145. Okay, Mr. Burns.

146. What's your first name?

147. I don't know.

148. Well, Homer, maybe you can take some consolation

149. in the fact that something you created

150. is making so many people happy.

151. Ooh, look at me!

152. I'm making people happy!

153. I'm the magical man from Happyland

154. in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane.

155. By the way, I was being sarcastic.

156. Well, duh.

157. Yabba-dabba-do!

158. Hey, guys, look what I smuggled aboard.

159. Homer, no!

160. They'll clog the instruments!

161. Careful. They're ruffled.

162. I'll take care of this.

163. Bah!

164. Ants!

165. No TV and no beer make Homer something-something.

166. Go crazy?

167. Don't mind if I do!

168. Dr. Linus Irvin

169. of the Sloan-Kettering Memorial Institute writes:

170. "How does Matt Groening find the time

171. to write and draw an entire Simpsons episode every week?"

172. For the answer to this, we went straight to the source.

173. Get out of my office!

174. Of course,

175. what Matt meant to say, according to his attorneys,

176. is that he couldn't possibly do it alone,

177. and he insisted that we make time

178. to acknowledge the hard work

179. of everyone who makes the Simpsons possible.

180. Ambassador Henry Mwabwetumba of the Ivory Coast writes:

181. "What is the real deal with Mr. Burns' assistant Smithers?

182. You know what I'm talking about."

183. Of course we do.

184. Preparations for your birthday have begun.

185. I won't get what I really want.

186. No one does.

187. People like dogs, Mr. Burns.

188. Nonsense! Dogs are idiots.

189. Think about it, Smithers.

190. If I came into your house

191. and started sniffing at your crotch

192. and slobbering all over your face,

193. what would you say?

194. If you did it, sir?

195. - I'll print you out a copy. - Thanks.

196. Hello, Smithers.

197. You're quite good at turning me on.

198. Um... you probably should ignore that.

199. I dreamed about her again last night, Smithers.

200. You know that dream where you're in bed

201. and they fly in through the window?

202. As you can see,

203. the real deal with Wayland Smithers is

204. that he's Mr. Burns' assistant.

205. He's in his early 40s, is unmarried

206. and currently resides in Springfield.

207. Thanks for writing.

208. We'll be right back.

209. Which popular Simpsons characters

210. have died in the past year?

211. If you said Bleeding Gums Murphy

212. and Dr. Marvin Monroe,

213. you are wrong... They were never popular.

214. Right about now, you're probably saying

215. "Troy, I've seen every Simpsons episode.

216. You can't show me anything new."

217. You've got some attitude, mister.

218. Besides, you're wrong because sometimes episodes run long

219. and certain scenes never get aired.

220. So fire up your V.C.R.,

221. because here, for the first time ever

222. are the cut-out classics.

223. When Krusty the Clown got canceled,

224. he tried everything to stay on the air.

225. Here's what you didn't see.

226. If you watch my show,

227. I will send you this book featuring me

228. in a variety of sexually explicit positions.

229. What? Hey!

230. It's not really me! I used a stunt butt!

231. Krusty, we're from the network. We have some bad news.

232. I'm afraid your show's been canceled.

233. I thought this would happen.

234. I just hope you replace me with something

235. as educational and uplifting as I tried to be.

236. Actually, it's a hemorrhoid infomercial

237. starring Claude Akins.

238. Can I play Hemorrhoid Sufferer Number One?

239. Ooh! That hurts!

240. Is there no relief?

241. I don't think so.

242. Well, how about one of the "after" guys?

243. That's better.

244. I can ride a bike again!

245. Sorry.

246. When Springfield legalized gambling,

247. Homer became a blackjack dealer,

248. and comedy was in the cards.

249. Twenty. Your move, Mr. Bond.

250. I'll take a hit, dealer.

251. Joker? You were supposed to take those out of the deck.

252. Sorry. Here's another one.

253. What is this card?

254. "Rules for draw and stud poker"?

255. What a pity, Mr. Bond.

256. What? Well, it was Homer's fault.

257. I didn't lose. I never lose.

258. Well, at least tell me the details

259. of your plot for world domination!

260. Ha ha ha! I'm not going to fall for that one again.

261. Earlier this year,

262. Homer's long-lost mother returned

263. and so did a long-lost care package.

264. Homer, please.

265. You don't have to wolf down that 25-year-old candy

266. just to make me happy.

267. But it won't make you unhappy, right?

268. Hey! Space food sticks!

269. I wish I had these on my space adventure.

270. Did you know I was blasted into space two years ago, Mom?

271. Sure. I read all about it.

272. I mean, it was national news.

273. Do you still work for NASA?

274. No, I work at the nuclear power plant.

275. Homer.

276. Well, you'll be happy to know

277. I don't work very hard.

278. Actually, I'm bringing the plant down

279. from the inside.

280. When Homer sold his soul for a doughnut,

281. he found out that hell isn't all it's cracked up to be

282. in these never-before-broadcast scenes.

283. D'

284. Lawyers, lawyers, lawyers...

285. Ooh, Lionel Hutz!

286. "Cases won in 30 minutes or your pizza's free."

287. I'd sell my soul for a Formula 1 racing car.

288. That can be arranged.

289. Changed my mind. Sorry.

290. Cool.

291. Bart, stop pestering Satan.

292. Your Honor, we find that Homer Simpson's soul

293. is legally the property of Marge Simpson

294. and not of the devil.

295. Woo-hoo!

296. Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza.

297. But we did win.

298. That's okay. The box is empty.

299. If that's what they cut out,

300. what they leave in must be pure gold!

301. Let's watch some more

302. of those fabulous Simpsons outtakes.

303. Apu living with the Simpsons? It happened.

304. And here's a scene you didn't see.

305. I'm hoping you enjoy this movie.

306. It made every Indian critic's top 400 list.

307. This movie you rented sucks.

308. No, it doesn't. It's funny.

309. Their clothes are different from my clothes.

310. Look at what they're wearing.

311. A few years back, Bart was adopted by Mr. Burns.

312. In this very special outtake, Homer attempts a reconciliation

313. with his estranged son.

314. Watch.

315. Bart, you're coming home.

316. I want to stay here with Mr. Burns.

317. I suggest you leave immediately.

318. Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees

319. or the dogs with bees in their mouth

320. and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?

321. Well, go ahead!

322. Do your worst!

323. My worst?

324. Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons.

325. Come on, big boy!

326. Shake the butter off those buns!

327. Come on, girls. Shake, shake, shake.

328. Smithers, it's out of control.

329. I'll take him out, sir.

330. Shake, shake, shake.

331. Shake your...

332. His ass is going to blow!

333. This past summer, all of America

334. was trying to solve the mystery of who shot Mr. Burns.

335. Then they found out it was the baby.

336. To keep this bombshell secret,

337. the producers animated several solutions

338. that were never intended to air.

339. And to keep the show's animators, editors, staff,

340. and hangers-on from leaking the solution,

341. two completely different endings were produced...

342. One real, one phony.

343. Here's the ending you were never meant to see.

344. The one who shot me was...

345. Wayland Smithers.

346. No!

347. Wait a minute.

348. Yes.

349. With the sun blocker in place and the town aghast,

350. I was on top of the world.

351. So I wanted to kick up my heels and indulge

352. my sweet tooth.

353. I feel like celebrating.

354. It's you.

355. What are you so happy about?

356. I see.

357. Smithers had thwarted

358. my earlier attempt to take candy from a baby,

359. but with him out of the picture,

360. I was free to wallow in my own crapulence...

361. or so I thought.

362. At the last moment,

363. Smithers, drunk as a lemur, lurched out

364. of the darkness and fired.

365. That's right.

366. Right before I shot Jasper.

367. I was busy that night.

368. Stricken, I lurched forth

369. in search of aid.

370. But, finding only slack-jawed gawkers,

371. I gave up and collapsed on the sundial.

372. Then, with your last ounce of strength,

373. you pointed to "w" and "S."

374. Wayland Smithers.

375. Well, I'm just relieved that Homer's safe,

376. and that you've recovered and we can get back to normal.

377. Not exactly.

378. Smithers, for attempting to kill me,

379. I'm giving you a five percent pay cut.

380. But, of course, for that ending to work,

381. you would have to ignore all the Simpson DNA evidence.

382. And that would be downright nutty.

383. Yes, the Simpsons have come a long way since an old drunk made humans

384. out of his rabbit characters to pay off his gambling debts.

385. Who knows what adventures they'll have

386. between now and the time the show becomes unprofitable?

387. I'm Troy McClure, and I'll leave you

388. with what we all came here to see...

389. Hardcore nudity!

390. Shh.

391. ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.