1. D'
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2. This bus has seen better days.
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3. Well, at least it's
safer than the old bus.
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4. Time to move.
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5. The hole's getting bigger.
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6. Seymour, the children are
playing in the hole again.
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7. Shouldn't you get that fixed?
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8. Edna, you know they just cut
the school's budget.
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9. Besides, if I had the money,
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10. I'd fix the exhaust leak
in the back.
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11. Frankly, I think it's causing
some of our low test scores.
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12. All right. The battlefield
is just a half mile ahead.
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13. Begin braking procedure!
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14. This civil war cannon
has been fully restored
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15. and is in
ready-to-fire condition,
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16. but it's good thing
we're not firing it.
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17. Because it happens to be aimed
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18. at the main support leg
of that lookout tower.
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19. People don't realize
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20. that cannons are very sensitive,
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21. and the slightest jolt
could set them off.
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22. Of course, for safety reasons,
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23. we don't keep the cannon loaded.
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24. It's just common sense.
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25. Otto, why don't you
get some more gas?
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26. Here's the credit card.
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27. Ooh.
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28. And a mint for afterwards.
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29. Five dollars a child?
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30. Last year it was free.
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31. Hmph. New ownership.
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32. But we don't have
that kind of money.
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33. In fact, no school
could afford the...
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34. Here's the admission,
plus something for you.
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35. See that they get a little
extra education, would you?
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36. Yes, sir, Principal Valiant.
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37. He thinks he's so hot ever since
he swept the Princi awards.
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38. Those things are rigged.
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39. On May 21, 1864,
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40. the men of the
Ninth Bearded infantry
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41. were sunning and fluffing
their beards in the sun.
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42. Suddenly, enemy troops
crested that hill over there.
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43. Fort Springfield,
we surrender unconditionally!
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44. We're sick!
We need leeches!
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45. And hacksaws to saw off
our gangrenous limbs!
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46. But the Springfield brigade
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47. was too brave to
accept the surrender.
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48. Come on, boys.
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49. Those white flags are
no match for our muskets!
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50. Charge!
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51. And the Springfielders
heroically slaughtered
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52. their enemies
as they prayed for mercy.
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53. It's hard to see
what's going on.
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54. I can only make out
the fat soldiers.
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55. All right, children, switch.
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56. Hey, they're trying
to learn for free!
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57. Get them!
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58. Use your phony guns as clubs!
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59. Run, children!
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60. Start the bus, Otto!
Start the bus!
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61. Damn.
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62. I shouldn't have eaten
the mint first.
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63. Okay. Hop on.
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64. Wait! Wait!
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65. Well, Seymour, because of
your penny-pinching,
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66. we're coming back
from a field trip
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67. with the fewest children yet.
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68. God bless the man who
invented permission slips.
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69. I think I got your lunch.
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70. Yeah. I didn't think
this was for me.
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71. Seymour, the teachers
are fed up.
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72. You have to start putting
money back into the school.
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73. You've cut back on everything...
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74. Salaries, supplies, the food.
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75. I don't care what you say,
I can taste the newspaper.
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76. Posh. Shredded newspapers
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77. add much-needed roughage
and essential inks.
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78. Besides, you didn't
notice the old gym mats.
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79. There's very little meat
in these gym mats.
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80. Our demands are very reasonable.
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81. By ignoring them,
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82. you're selling out
these children's futures.
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83. Come on, Edna!
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84. We both know these children
have no future.
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85. Prove me wrong, kids.
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86. Prove me wrong.
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87. I've never seen them
fight like that, Bart.
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88. I'm worried that all this posturing
and saber rattling
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89. could lead to
a teachers' strike.
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90. Strike?
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91. My bones are so brittle.
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92. But I always drink plenty of...
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93. "malk"?
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94. How do you expect us
to teach with these supplies?
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95. This pointer's so old,
it's worn down to a nub.
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96. It still points, doesn't it?
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97. Stop that!
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98. And look at this.
The only books we have
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99. are ones that were banned
by other schools.
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100. Well, the kids have to learn
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101. about "Tek War" sooner or later.
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102. Go away, Bart,
this is not a good time.
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103. I saw you two fighting.
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104. I'm worried
there could be a strike
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105. and the school would shut down.
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106. I'm sure you'd really hate that.
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107. There's not going
to be a strike, Bart.
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108. Yeah. Skinner says
you wouldn't have
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109. the won tons to go
through with it.
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110. Skinner said that?
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111. Well, I had to
clean it up a little.
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112. But basically, Krabappel said
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113. you'd give the teachers
everything they want.
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114. - She did?
- Yeah. She said
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115. you'd fold faster than
Superman on laundry day.
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116. We'll see about that.
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117. Simpson,
I always thought you were
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118. sneaky and manipulative.
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119. But now I see
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120. you're really a very
sensitive little boy.
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121. - Thank you, sir.
- Aw.
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122. Seymour,
you're being totally unfair,
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123. and the teachers
won't stand for it.
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124. Teachers, you don't have
the guts to strike!
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125. You don't have the guts
to take us all on!
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126. - That's it!
- Stee-rike!
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127. Attention.
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128. This is an emergency broadcast.
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129. All is well in the school.
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130. My authority as principal
is total...
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131. Hey, give me that!
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132. Attention, teachers.
We're on strike. Ha!
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133. No. A strike?
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134. Miss Hoover, are you on...
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135. Go home, children!
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136. Hello?
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137. Mrs. Pommelhorst?
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138. I'd like to get down now.
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139. Hey, now that Largo's gone,
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140. we can play the forbidden music.
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141. I heard that!
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142. Bart, Lisa, what are
you two doing home so early?
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143. Great news, Mom!
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144. Horrible news, Mom!
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145. The school's on strike!
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146. Maybe forever!
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147. Overload!
Pleasure overload!
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148. Luckily, I've prepared for this,
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149. so I'm not too worried.
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150. Sit up straight.
Eyes forward.
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151. No talking.
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152. Is that gum?
Is that gum?
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153. Is that gum?
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154. Yeah.
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155. Bart, leave that crowbar here.
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156. You know I don't like you
prying and jimmying.
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157. Mom! Dad! Great news!
The teachers...
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158. We heard.
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159. And we already hired a tutor.
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160. Well, looks like
we'll be staying late today
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161. to make up for all this
dillydallying.
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162. Awesome.
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163. You, with the crane!
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164. Spin around real fast!
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165. Now you!
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166. Dump three tons of sand
onto that Porta-Potty.
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167. Hey! Can't you tell my voice
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168. from a ten-year-old kid's?
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169. Ay, caramba!
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170. Hey, that little boy
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171. is playing three games at once.
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172. - Checkmate.
- Dang.
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173. Lousy teachers trying
to palm off our kids on us.
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174. But, Dad, by striking,
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175. they're trying to effect
a change in management
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176. so they can be happier
and more productive.
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177. Lisa! If you don't like
your job, you don't strike.
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178. You just go in every day
and do it really half-assed.
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179. That's the American way.
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180. I've got some textbooks, but
without state-approved syllabi
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181. and standardized testing,
my education can only go so far.
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182. Honey, maybe you should
relax a little.
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183. Relax? I can't relax!
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184. Nor can I yield, relent or...
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185. Only two synonyms?
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186. My God!
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187. I'm losing my perspicacity!
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188. Well, it's always
in the last place you look.
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189. So, if we were
in school this week,
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190. what do you think
we'd be learning?
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191. Get away from me.
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192. Good news, people!
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193. I'm happy to announce
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194. that another union has joined us
in a sympathy strike...
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195. The Piano Tuners Local 412!
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196. Now, for operation
strike-make-go-longer.
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197. You know, I heard Skinner say
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198. the teachers will crack
any minute.
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199. Skinner said
the teachers will crack
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200. any minute purple
monkey dishwasher.
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201. Well! We'll show him...
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202. Especially for that
purple monkey dishwasher remark.
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203. Seymour, you are
truly incompetent.
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204. Well, I hardly think
it's fair to...
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205. Dummy up, you! Listen to
those passing motorists
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206. who support the teachers.
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207. 15 minute recess, Milhouse.
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208. The recess assignment is
chapters three through seven.
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209. Yay! Recess!
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210. Milhouse, I found a hive
of killer bees.
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211. You want to go
throw rocks at it?
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212. Sorry, Bart. I'm deeply immersed
in the Teapot Dome scandal.
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213. However,
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214. it might be
feasible in a fortnight.
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215. - Wha...
- I can play in two weeks.
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216. Juh?
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217. I just can't believe
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218. Stark would stoop to that,
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219. and right in the middle
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220. of Montana and Dakota's wedding.
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221. All this free time.
I never thought
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222. I'd get sick of "Razor Fight II:
The Slashening."
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223. I probably should stop.
My doctor says
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224. I have the wrists
of an 80-year-old.
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225. What do you mean,
the bank is out of money?
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226. Insolvent!
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227. You only have enough cash
for the next three customers?
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228. W-Wait a minute!
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229. J-J-Just a second here!
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230. No, no.
I don't have your money here.
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231. It's in Bill's house
a-a-and Fred's house.
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232. What the hell you doing with
my money in your house, Fred?
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233. Grade me!
Look at me!
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234. Evaluate and rank me!
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235. I'm good, good, good,
and so smart!
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236. Grade me!
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237. I'm worried about
the kids, Homie.
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238. Lisa's becoming very obsessive.
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239. This morning I caught her trying
to dissect her own raincoat.
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240. I know.
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241. And this
perpetual motion machine
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242. she made today is a joke.
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243. It just keeps going
faster and faster.
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244. Bart isn't doing
very well either.
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245. He needs boundaries
and structure.
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246. There's something about
flying a kite at night
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247. that's so unwholesome.
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248. Hello, Mother dear.
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249. That's it!
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250. We have to get them
back to school.
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251. I'm with you, Marge.
Lisa, get in here!
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252. In this house, we obey
the laws of thermodynamics!
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253. All right, I'd like
to call this meeting
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254. of the P.T.A.
to or-diddly-order,
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255. and let's see if we can't put an end
to this strike fuss?
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256. Mrs. Krabappel,
why don't you begin?
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257. Boo!
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258. Boo yourself.
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259. Our demands are simple:
A small cost-of-living increase
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260. and some better equipment
and supplies for your children!
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261. - That's easy!
- Give it to 'em!
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262. Yeah, in a dream world.
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263. We have a very tight budget.
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264. To do what she's asking,
we'd have to raise taxes.
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265. - Raise taxes?
- They're too high as they are!
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266. - I've had enough!
- Taxes are bad!
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267. It's your children's future!
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268. - Yeah!
- Children! Yes!
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269. I forgot.
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270. It'll cost ya.
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271. No to taxes!
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272. They're gonna raise taxes!
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273. Come on!
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274. All right.
That's a good point.
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275. Yeah.
That sounds...
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276. - Yeah! The taxes!
- That means money.
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277. The finger thing
means the taxes.
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278. Well, I guess this is
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279. a case where we'll have
to agree to disagree.
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280. - I don't agree to that.
- Neither do I.
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281. Ho-ho! This is
a dilly of a pickle.
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282. My God!
The P.T.A. has disbanded!
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283. No, no! The P.T.A.
has not disbanded.
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284. We do have an emergency plan
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285. in case of
a prolonged strike right here.
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286. Let's see.
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287. "Replace teachers with
super-intelligent cyborgs.
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288. "Or, if cyborgs
aren't invented yet,
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289. use people from
the neighborhood."
Copy !req
290. Talkin' out of turn,
that's a paddlin'.
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291. Lookin' out the window,
that's a paddlin'.
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292. Starin' at my sandals,
that's a paddlin'.
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293. Paddlin' the school canoe...
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294. You better believe
that's a paddlin'.
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295. All right.
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296. So the compression and expansion
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297. of the longitudinal waves
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298. cause the erratic oscillation...
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299. You can see it there...
Copy !req
300. Of the neighboring particles.
Copy !req
301. - Yes, what is it? What?
- Can I play with it?
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302. No, you can't play with it!
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303. You won't enjoy it
on as many levels as I do.
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304. The colors, children.
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305. Okay. When I call your name,
you say "present" or "here."
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306. No, say present.
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307. "Anita Bath..."
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308. All right. Settle down.
Anita Bath here?
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309. All right. Fine, fine.
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310. "Maya Buttreeks."
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311. Hey, what are you
laughing at? What?
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312. I get it.
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313. I get it.
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314. It's my big ears,
isn't it, kids?
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315. Isn't it?
Copy !req
316. Well, children,
I can't help that!
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317. Wow, Bart!
I'm impressed
Copy !req
318. the way you knocked off
all those substitutes.
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319. In my weaker moments,
I almost pity them.
Copy !req
320. Then I just remind myself:
They're trying to teach.
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321. Well, children,
I don't know what you did
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322. to all those substitutes,
Copy !req
323. but it's going to stop now!
Leopold?
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324. All right. You listen up,
you little freaks!
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325. The fun stops here.
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326. You're gonna shut
your stinking traps
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327. and behave, damn it!
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328. This is one substitute
you're not gonna screw with!
Copy !req
329. Marge Simpson.
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330. Hello, class!
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331. Hi, Bart! Over here, sweetie!
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332. It's me, Mom!
Hi. Hey! Hello!
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333. Well, I'm sure
some of you know me.
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334. I'm Bart Simpson's mother.
Copy !req
335. Mom!
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336. Hey, Bart, what about
the booby trap?
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337. - May I?
- Thank you.
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338. - Mama's boy.
- Teacher's pet.
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339. Goody-goody.
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340. I meant the other booby trap.
Copy !req
341. Kids have been doing that one
since my day.
Copy !req
342. So, how was
everybody's day at school?
Copy !req
343. - Horrifying.
- Pointless.
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344. Exhausting.
It took the children 40 minutes
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345. to locate Canada on the map.
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346. Marge, anyone can miss Canada
all tucked away down there.
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347. Well, my teacher's a nightmare.
Copy !req
348. Three kids got sick from
inhaling his ointment fumes,
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349. he confiscated everything
made of tin,
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350. and then he sent us home early
Copy !req
351. because he got his beard caught
in the pencil sharpener.
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352. Um... okay.
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353. Um, here.
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354. Okay...
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355. let's see, um...
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356. what if I did this?
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357. You're on your own.
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358. There's no way I'll get
into an ivy league school now.
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359. At this rate I probably
won't even get into Vassar.
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360. I've had just about enough
Copy !req
361. of your Vassar bashing,
young lady.
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362. Look, Mom,
Copy !req
363. it feels really weird
having you on my turf.
Copy !req
364. How would you feel
if I started mopping the floor?
Copy !req
365. - I'd be thrilled. You can start right now.
- D'
Copy !req
366. And I'm gonna keep
teaching your class...
Copy !req
367. Like it or lump it.
Copy !req
368. Well, then,
Copy !req
369. I guess I'll just have to get
into the crawl space again.
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370. I hate it when he gets in there.
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371. Psst. Over here.
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372. Mom, I need a dollar.
Copy !req
373. Ever since you
started teaching here,
Copy !req
374. kids have been taking
my lunch money.
Copy !req
375. And I need that money for candy.
Copy !req
376. Aw, here you go, precious.
Copy !req
377. Now go off with your friends.
Copy !req
378. Here you go, precious.
Copy !req
379. Why isn't my mom stopping this?
Copy !req
380. We've created a diversion.
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381. That's a very nice jig, Kearney.
Copy !req
382. Now, isn't dancing
much more fun than bullying?
Copy !req
383. Yeah.
Copy !req
384. That's it. I can't
take this anymore, Milhouse.
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385. I got to get the
real teachers back.
Copy !req
386. Bart, you'll never get Krabappel
and Skinner together again.
Copy !req
387. They're like two
positively charged ions.
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388. Zuh?
Copy !req
389. Wait! That's it.
Copy !req
390. With your book smarts,
and my ability
Copy !req
391. to exploit people
with book smarts,
Copy !req
392. we can figure out a clever plan
to get them back together.
Copy !req
393. A surprise party for me
in Principal Skinner's office?
Copy !req
394. Well, I don't know,
but all right.
Copy !req
395. Me? Go to my office?
Copy !req
396. It's highly irregular,
but all right.
Copy !req
397. And you're not coming out
Copy !req
398. until you reach an agreement.
Copy !req
399. Let us out, Bart!
Copy !req
400. This is not funny, Bart!
Copy !req
401. Stop it, Bart.
Let us out right now!
Copy !req
402. Don't worry.
They'll start negotiating.
Copy !req
403. Let us out!
Copy !req
404. For the love of God, let us out!
Copy !req
405. Man, this is like 'Nam!
Copy !req
406. Let us out!
Copy !req
407. Come on, or you will
be so sorry!
Copy !req
408. You're going to be
verrrrry, very sorry!
Copy !req
409. Well, Seymour, I guess
we could start talking.
Copy !req
410. What's the point?
There's no more money
Copy !req
411. unless you've got some
magic new source of revenue.
Copy !req
412. Well, we've got to figure
something out.
Copy !req
413. They've got us locked in
here like prisoners.
Copy !req
414. Prisoners in our own school.
Copy !req
415. Ooh!
Copy !req
416. This is a great way
to make extra money.
Copy !req
417. Renting out our cloakrooms to
the overcrowded prison system.
Copy !req
418. Yo. I used to sit
right over there.
Copy !req
419. It's all right, children.
Just ignore the murderer.
Copy !req
420. As a bonus, some of our more
troublesome students
Copy !req
421. might be scared straight.
Copy !req
422. Psst, kid.
Copy !req
423. Help me break out of here.
Copy !req
424. I'll totally make it
worth your while.
Copy !req
425. I'm listening.
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426. Shh!
Copy !req
427. ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
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