The Simpsons 6x13

Directed by Swinton O. Scott III

The story of Maggie's birth is told in flashbacks: after Homer quits the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant to pursue his dream of working at a bowling alley, Marge reveals that she is pregnant.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. D'

2. Aah!

3. We now return to Knightboat, the crime-solving boat.

4. Faster, Knightboat. We've got to catch those starfish poachers.

5. You don't have to yell, Michael. I'm all around you.

6. No! They're headed for land.

7. We'll never catch them now.

8. Incorrect. Look! A canal.

9. Go, Knightboat, go!

10. Every week there's a canal.

11. - Or an inlet. - Or a fjord.

12. Quiet! I will not hear another word against the boat.

13. Okay, TV off... It's family time.

14. But, Marge!

15. Knightboat... The crime-solving boat.

16. Homer, you promised...

17. One night of family time a week.

18. Besides, that back-talking boat sets a bad example.

19. Says you, woman.

20. All right, family time begins now.

21. Homer!

22. It was Bart.

23. Why don't we all look at the photo album?

24. So many memories.

25. Look...

26. Knightboat.

27. Aw...

28. And here's our TV next to the mirror.

29. It looks like we have two.

30. - Wow. Two. - Wow. Two.

31. Yeah, yeah, yeah... Two.

32. Let's get to the baby pictures.

33. That's exciting.

34. Please.

35. Here's Bart sleeping.

36. Here he is dozing.

37. Here he is after a visit from the sandman.

38. Ooh, here's nappy-time, Bart.

39. Here's a cute one... He's all tuckered out.

40. Why aren't there any pictures of Maggie?

41. Well, I'm glad you asked.

42. It's actually a very interesting story.

43. It all began about two years ago before Maggie was even born.

44. Bart, you were Lisa's age.

45. And Lisa, you were... The age Bart was several years ago.

46. Get the camera ready.

47. Bart very sleepy.

48. Listen carefully, and my words will shape images

49. as clear as any TV show.

50. It was a tumultuous time for our nation.

51. The clear beverage craze gave us all a reason to live.

52. The information superhighway showed the average person

53. what some nerd thinks about Star Trek

54. and the domestication of the dog continued unabated.

55. I was at my workstation when suddenly...

56. Attention, American workers.

57. Your plant has been taken over by an all-star team

58. of freelance terrorists.

59. Not on my shift!

60. No, you don't.

61. Simpson 10, terrorists 8.

62. Homer, tell the story right.

63. Okay.

64. Homer, you should see a doctor.

65. I don't think a healthy man

66. can make that kind of smell.

67. Your paychecks, gentlemen.

68. Whoo-hoo!

69. This is it.

70. With this single, glorious check

71. I'm finally completely out of debt!

72. Yes! With my bills paid off

73. I can finally quit this lousy job.

74. But Homer, how you going to make a living?

75. Don't worry about Homer J.

76. I've got a plan...

77. A plan that will fix you good.

78. Hey, what did we do?

79. Sorry. That just slipped out.

80. I'll miss you.

81. Did you hear me?

82. I said I quit, Monty!

83. And since I quit, I can do anything I want.

84. Is that so?

85. Ooh, lovely desk.

86. It would be too bad if someone...

87. I don't know...

88. Didn't use a coaster!

89. Such a nice, tidy office.

90. Maybe it's time you started living like a pig!

91. I hope I haven't upset you... Bongo head!

92. I should be resisting this, but I'm paralyzed with rage.

93. And island rhythms.

94. Yeah! Way to play the boss's head like a bongo, Homer.

95. He's getting a pretty good sound out of that guy.

96. And...

97. Ee! Ooh!

98. That's for employing me for eight years!

99. And that is that.

100. Good-bye, mind-numbing, backbreaking labor forever.

101. Hello, dream job in paradise.

102. And now, the final phase of my plan.

103. Hey, Barney, any chance you can get me a job here?

104. Sure, Homer.

105. I told you, my uncle owns the place.

106. Hey, Uncle Al, can Homer have a job?

107. - Sure. - Whoo-hoo!

108. Barney, you're fired.

109. Okay.

110. Show up tomorrow. Bring three rags.

111. And a change of pants.

112. - Why? - When it happens, you'll know.

113. You're a pin monkey?

114. Wow. Finally I don't have to be ashamed

115. of my father's job.

116. I think it's romantic,

117. throwing off your shackles of the workday world

118. and following a dream... Of sorts.

119. I don't know if it's such a good idea.

120. Can we get by on a pin monkey's salary?

121. Don't worry, Marge.

122. I've come up with a perfectly balanced budget.

123. There will be exactly enough money

124. for you, me, Bart and Lisa,

125. if we make a few small sacrifices.

126. From now on, we use regular toilet paper

127. not that fancy quilted kind.

128. And only one of you kids can go to college.

129. - Fine. - Fine.

130. That night your mother and I

131. went out for a romantic evening

132. to celebrate the start of our new life.

133. We began with dinner and dancing.

134. Followed by a stroll on the beach.

135. Marge.

136. Homer.

137. I've got sand in my underpants.

138. Me too. Let's go home.

139. I love you, Marge.

140. I love you, too, Homey.

141. Everything in our lives

142. is finally perfectly balanced.

143. I hope things stay exactly like this forever.

144. - D' - D'

145. - D' - D'

146. Whoo-hoo!

147. Eww!

148. Did you have to be so graphic?

149. It's okay, Marge.

150. They pave the way for this kind of filth in school.

151. So Dad, were you excited that Mom was pregnant?

152. Actually, your mother hadn't told me yet.

153. At that time, I had no idea Maggie even existed.

154. - Dad! - Dad!

155. Hi, Maggie.

156. So, anyhoo, back then there was no way for me to know

157. your mother was pregnant.

158. Marge, you tie up the bathroom every morning.

159. I've got to wash my hair.

160. The next few weeks at my dream job

161. were like a wonderful waking coma.

162. Hey, Homer.

163. - Hi there, Homer. - Hi there, Homer.

164. - Hi, Homer. - Hi, there, Homer.

165. Hi.

166. Bowling fresh.

167. Urinal fresh.

168. Homer, did you polish your head in the Shine-o Ball-o?

169. - No. - Okay, then.

170. Whoo!

171. I slowly learned

172. the intricate mysteries of the alley,

173. like where the pins go after they're knocked down.

174. I was in heaven.

175. If horse racing is the sport of kings,

176. then surely bowling is a very good sport as well.

177. Hey, great job, Homer.

178. Thanks a lot, Homer.

179. Hey, you're the best.

180. Congratulations, Mrs. Simpson. You're pregnant.

181. Am I to take it that this is...

182. an unwanted pregnancy?

183. No, no, not exactly.

184. It's just that I haven't told Homer yet.

185. And with his new job,

186. I don't know how we're going to be able to afford this.

187. Well, you know, a healthy baby can bring upwards of $60,000.

188. - What? - Well, of course, that was just a test.

189. Had you reacted differently, why, you'd be in jail right now.

190. Simply a test.

191. So in a few months,

192. both of you will have a brand new brother or sister.

193. Been there. Done that.

194. I hope it's a girl.

195. You know nothing about genetics, Lis.

196. It goes boy, girl, boy, girl.

197. You're worried about telling Dad, aren't you, Mom?

198. Why do you say that?

199. Well, you've been in my room for about four hours now.

200. Hey, I'm just hanging.

201. Homey, I...

202. Can't talk. Praying.

203. Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me,

204. and I am thankful.

205. For the first time in my life,

206. everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is.

207. So here's the deal.

208. You freeze everything as it is,

209. and I won't ask for anything more.

210. If that is okay,

211. please give me absolutely no sign.

212. Okay, deal.

213. In gratitude, I present you this offering

214. of cookies and milk.

215. If you want me to eat them for you,

216. give me no sign.

217. Thy will be done.

218. Oogie-boogie-boogie- boogie-boogie-boo.

219. Oogie-boogie-boogie-boogie-boo.

220. I've got to tell Homer about this baby

221. in just the right way and at just the right time.

222. Until then, please, keep this to yourselves.

223. If he found out now,

224. it would probably destroy him?

225. Yes.

226. - Gotta go. - Gotta go.

227. Wait a minute! Wait! I know that look.

228. Now, promise you won't tell Homer.

229. We promise we won't tell... Homer.

230. Hello, is this A. Aaronson?

231. It might interest you to know

232. that Marge Simpson is pregnant again.

233. Just thought you'd like to know, Mr. Zakowski.

234. There.

235. Aaronson and Zakowski are the two biggest gossips in town.

236. In an hour, everyone will know.

237. Another perfect day in my perfect life

238. with my perfect job.

239. Hey, just heard the news over the squawk box.

240. That's nice work, Homer.

241. Thank you!

242. Thank you very much. It is nice work.

243. Mr. Simpson, I have just heard

244. about the little bundle of joy.

245. - Congratulations, sir. - It's true.

246. The bundle is little, but I'm not in it for the money.

247. Hey, Homer!

248. Way to get Marge pregnant.

249. Heh-heh-heh.

250. This is getting very abstract, but thank you.

251. I do enjoy working at the bowling alley.

252. Surprise! Baby shower!

253. Baby shower?

254. You know I haven't told Homer yet,

255. and he'll be home any minute.

256. - Really? - Really?

257. Man, it's windy as hell out there.

258. Hey, wait a minute.

259. What are all these presents?

260. It looks like you're showering Marge with gifts.

261. With little tiny, baby-sized gifts.

262. Well, I'll be in the tub.

263. By the way,

264. congratulations on your new job, Homer.

265. New job?

266. Marge is pregnant?

267. No!

268. Wow, Dad. You really threw a tantrum

269. like a little sissy girl?

270. Just that one time.

271. Actually, when I was about to have Bart...

272. You're pregnant?

273. And then when I told him about Lisa...

274. You're pregnant again?

275. Well, who wouldn't be upset?

276. That new baby in your mother's womb

277. was a ticking time bomb

278. threatening to blow this family eight ways from Sunday.

279. Hey, where are you going?

280. Dad, you can't expect a person to sit for 30 minutes straight.

281. I'm going to get a snack and maybe go to the bathroom.

282. I'll stay here, but I'm going to think

283. about products I might like to purchase.

284. Ooh...

285. Ooh... I don't have that.

286. You're pregnant!

287. We're gonna have to have a baby.

288. All our financial plans are ruined.

289. We're doomed.

290. Doomed, I tells ya!

291. Pow!

292. Bart, let your father tell the story.

293. Yeah.

294. Okay, but I know funny.

295. Anyhoo...

296. We're doomed.

297. - Homer, you had a head. - Check.

298. And your bottom was a little bigger.

299. Aw...

300. You've worked hard at the bowling alley.

301. Why don't you ask for a raise?

302. Yeah, a raise.

303. I've never been good enough at any job

304. to deserve one before,

305. but I'm damn good at this one.

306. That's it. I'm going to march right up to Al and say...

307. Steve... I mean, Al,

308. I think I deserve a raise.

309. You're a hard worker,

310. and I'd like to give you a raise,

311. but the alley just ain't doing enough business

312. to pay that kind of money.

313. How about if I triple the business?

314. Then could I get a raise?

315. Well, yeah, but...

316. Of course.

317. Bowling. Bowling here.

318. Come bowl now.

319. Get your bowling.

320. Who's ready? Bowling.

321. Mom, make Dad tell the story right.

322. That's what really happened.

323. My marketing plan attracted

324. a record number of police and fire officials,

325. but few stayed to bowl.

326. I failed.

327. Quitting my dream job

328. was the hardest thing I've ever done.

329. You did a great job, Homer,

330. and I'm really gonna miss you.

331. The place has never been cleaner.

332. And the way you kept the young people away...

333. That was beautiful.

334. Anyway, we all pitched in, and we got you

335. this little going-away thing.

336. This was the happiest time of my life.

337. I'll never forget you guys, especially you, Joey.

338. See you around, Mr. Homer.

339. Don't worry, Joey.

340. We'll make it to California someday.

341. Sure we will, Mr. Homer.

342. Sure we will.

343. It's going to be sad around here

344. without you, Homer.

345. Boy, this is depressing.

346. Hey, I know what would cheer us up... Bowling.

347. Look at this. I got a ball here.

348. I'm cheered up.

349. Hey, this is fun.

350. I needed more money to support my growing family,

351. and there was only one place in town

352. that a man like me could make it.

353. Acid rain again.

354. Yes? Are you a new applicant?

355. Actually, I quit, and I came to get my job back.

356. Through there.

357. So, come crawling back?

358. Seems like the classy thing to do

359. would be not to call attention to it.

360. Thanks for giving me my old job back.

361. I'm afraid it's not that simple.

362. As punishment for your desertion,

363. it's company policy to give you the plague.

364. Sir, that's the "plaque."

365. Yes, the special demotivational plaque

366. to break what's left of your spirit.

367. Because, you see, you're here forever.

368. I've never been so miserable in all my life,

369. but I can't take it out on Marge and the kids.

370. I've got to carry the burden all by myself.

371. Hi, Honey. How are you?

372. Well, actually...

373. I can't go on with this charade any longer.

374. I hate my job. I hate my life.

375. And ever since I found out about this baby,

376. there's been nothing but bad luck.

377. My contractions started an hour ago.

378. It's just in one ear and out the other with you, isn't it Marge?

379. This is incredible.

380. It's God's most wondrous miracle.

381. Sir, I think your wife wants to hold the baby.

382. My wife? Where? Where?

383. Congratulations. It's a boy.

384. Arr! You're truly the catch of the day.

385. It's wonderful. It's magical.

386. Boy, here it comes... Another mouth.

387. One more push should do it.

388. Marvelous.

389. Congratulations, Mr. Simpson.

390. You have a beautiful, healthy baby.

391. Okay.

392. Homey, I think someone is saying hello.

393. Hello.

394. Aw...

395. It's a boy, and what a boy!

396. That's the umbilical cord.

397. It's a girl.

398. A girl.

399. Marge, we have a wonderful baby girl.

400. Not just a girl...

401. The most beautiful baby girl in the whole world.

402. Come on, Marge, show a little enthusiasm.

403. So you loved her right from the start.

404. Absolutely.

405. Then why no pictures?

406. There are pictures.

407. I keep them where I need the most cheering up.

408. Shh!

409. ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.