1. D'Copy !req
2. Aah!Copy !req
3. Sandwich.Copy !req
4. Underpants.Copy !req
5. Bowling ball.
More underpants.Copy !req
6. - Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Mom.Copy !req
7. Hi, Mom.Copy !req
8. After breakfast, me and Milhouse
are going down to the ravine.Copy !req
9. We got a tip from a six-year-oldCopy !req
10. that there's a
dead Martian down there.Copy !req
11. And I'm going to the parkCopy !req
12. to jam with the Little
White Girls blues quartet.Copy !req
13. - Wanna come with me, daddio?
- I'd love to, honey,Copy !req
14. but Daddy has to go to a
beer-drinking contest today.Copy !req
15. Think you'll win?Copy !req
16. Son, when you participate
in sporting events,Copy !req
17. it's not whether
you win or lose,Copy !req
18. it's how drunk you get.Copy !req
19. Gotcha. Well, gotta go.Copy !req
20. - Me, too.
- Me, too.Copy !req
21. It's hard for us to leave
when you're standing there, Mom.Copy !req
22. - Push her down, son.
- No one's going anywhere.Copy !req
23. We're going to clean
the whole house from top to bottom.Copy !req
24. Dear God, no!Copy !req
25. I think you'll find
that escape is impossible.Copy !req
26. Now, each one of you
take a floor and get started.Copy !req
27. - I call the basement.
- Fine.Copy !req
28. D'Copy !req
29. D'Copy !req
30. I'm tired. I'm hungry.
Can't we just buy a new house?Copy !req
31. Bart, cleaning
doesn't have to be a chore.Copy !req
32. Here, work to the music.Copy !req
33. Amen, Ernie.Copy !req
34. - All done.
- You're not done.Copy !req
35. I want you to throw away
these old calendars and TV Guides.Copy !req
36. Are you mad, woman?Copy !req
37. You never know when
an old calendar might come in handy.Copy !req
38. Sure, it's not 1985 right now,Copy !req
39. but who knows what
tomorrow will bring?Copy !req
40. And these TV Guides.
So many memories.Copy !req
41. "Gomer Upsets Sergeant Carter."Copy !req
42. I'll never forget that episode.Copy !req
43. - Pyle!
- Shazam!Copy !req
44. - Pyle!
- Shazam!Copy !req
45. - Pyle!
- Shazam!Copy !req
46. Shazam.Copy !req
47. Stop remembering TV
and get back to work.Copy !req
48. What's the point
of all this cleaning?Copy !req
49. Are we so vain?Copy !req
50. Hey, Clinton, get back to work.Copy !req
51. Make me.Copy !req
52. They're having a great time,
and I'm stuck in here.Copy !req
53. Ooh!Copy !req
54. "Use only
in a well-ventilated area."Copy !req
55. Shove it, buddy.Copy !req
56. Whoo!Copy !req
57. Whee!Copy !req
58. I must destroy you!Copy !req
59. Homer, what's going on
down there?Copy !req
60. - Nothing.
- Then stop screaming so loud.Copy !req
61. Okay.Copy !req
62. And that was
"Take this job and shove it."Copy !req
63. Now let's make another one
of our lucky phone calls.Copy !req
64. Okay, just answer the phone withCopy !req
65. the special phrase that pays,Copy !req
66. and you'll have your choice
of $10,000 in cash...Copy !req
67. Or a really stupid prize.Copy !req
68. Well, let's make that call.Copy !req
69. KBBL is gonna give me
something stupid!Copy !req
70. Bart, I'm having palpitations!Copy !req
71. Can't tie up the line, Grampa.Copy !req
72. There. Isn't that a lot better?Copy !req
73. Now you can do whatever you want,
but don't mess up the house.Copy !req
74. We won't.Copy !req
75. And now let's try
another lucky phone call.Copy !req
76. Help! Help us!Copy !req
77. They stole our uniforms,
guns and tasers!Copy !req
78. Ooh, fry, piggy.Copy !req
79. No, no, no, don't!Copy !req
80. A little to the left.Copy !req
81. That's the stuff.Copy !req
82. I'm sorry the phrase isCopy !req
83. "KBBL is gonna give me
something stupid."Copy !req
84. Pretty weird.Copy !req
85. Let's try one more number.Copy !req
86. - Hello.
- KBBL is gonna give me something stupid!Copy !req
87. Well, hot dog, we have a "Wiener."Copy !req
88. - Hello?
- I won! I won!Copy !req
89. You win your choice of
$10,000 or...Copy !req
90. What's our gag prize
this week, Bill?Copy !req
91. A full-grown African elephant.Copy !req
92. Well, all that money
sounds mighty tempting, Marty,Copy !req
93. but I think I'm gonna
have to go with the elephant.Copy !req
94. He's taking the elephant
instead of the money.Copy !req
95. The kid wants the elephant.Copy !req
96. We don't have a damn elephant.Copy !req
97. Don't whisper into the mike.Copy !req
98. Kid, the elephant's a gag prize.Copy !req
99. Nobody takes the gag prize.
You want the cash.Copy !req
100. I want the elephant.Copy !req
101. Stick it to the man.Copy !req
102. No, wait!
We'll call you back.Copy !req
103. Bart, with $10,000,
we'd be millionaires!Copy !req
104. We could buy all kinds
of useful things like... love.Copy !req
105. Or double-ply windows.
They look just like regular windows,Copy !req
106. but they'll save us four percent
on our heating bill.Copy !req
107. Well, they will.Copy !req
108. You all seem to be forgetting
the most important thing,Copy !req
109. which is, that it's wrong
to imprison an animal.Copy !req
110. Lisa, go to your room.Copy !req
111. We appreciate you coming down,
but, look, kid.Copy !req
112. The thing is...Copy !req
113. We don't have an elephant.Copy !req
114. Come on, kid,
just take the money?Copy !req
115. Otherwise, we might get fired.Copy !req
116. - You don't want us to get fired, do you?
- Either way.Copy !req
117. We think we know how your mind works,
Bart, so how 'bout this?Copy !req
118. We pay your principal $10,000
to pull down his pantsCopy !req
119. and keep 'em down for
the rest of the school year.Copy !req
120. - I'll do it, Bart.
- Um... no.Copy !req
121. Okay, okay. What if we use the 10,000
to surgically transform Skinner hereCopy !req
122. into, some kind
of a lobster-like creature?Copy !req
123. Well, now wait just a minute.
That wasn't discussed with me.Copy !req
124. Gentlemen, I am not leaving
without my elephant.Copy !req
125. - Hey!
- Whee!Copy !req
126. Where's my elephant?Copy !req
127. Where's my elephant?Copy !req
128. Where's my elephant?Copy !req
129. Where's my elephant?Copy !req
130. Hey, they're playing
"The Elephant Song."Copy !req
131. I love that.
Reminds me of elephants.Copy !req
132. So, isn't that what we're all
asking in our own lives?Copy !req
133. Where's my elephant?
I know that's what I've been asking.Copy !req
134. Look, our ratings are down,
and the station is being swampedCopy !req
135. with angry calls
and letter bombs.Copy !req
136. - And it's all your fault.
- Yes, it is, ma'am.Copy !req
137. This is the DJ-3000.Copy !req
138. It plays CDs automatically,Copy !req
139. and it has three distinct
varieties of inane chatter.Copy !req
140. Hey, hey, how about
that weather out there?Copy !req
141. Whoa, that was
the caller from hell.Copy !req
142. Well, hot dog,
we have a "wiener."Copy !req
143. Man, that thing's great.Copy !req
144. Don't praise the machine.Copy !req
145. If you don't get that kid an elephant
by tomorrow, the DJ-3000 gets your job.Copy !req
146. Looks like those clowns
in congress did it again.Copy !req
147. What a bunch of clowns.Copy !req
148. How does he keep up
with the news like that?Copy !req
149. Whoo-ho-ho-ho!Copy !req
150. Homer?Copy !req
151. It looks like it could gore.Copy !req
152. It does look like Al Gore.Copy !req
153. He smells worse than anything.Copy !req
154. Hey, you, elephant! Lift me up
on your back, man. Whoo!Copy !req
155. Bart!Copy !req
156. Cool!Copy !req
157. He tried to kill me.Copy !req
158. I really think
this is a bad idea.Copy !req
159. Marge, I agree with you
in theory.Copy !req
160. In theory, communism works.Copy !req
161. In theory.Copy !req
162. Look, he thinks he's people.Copy !req
163. I think I'm gonna
call him Stampy.Copy !req
164. - What's he yelling about?
- He's hungry.Copy !req
165. Here you go, Stampy.
Eat it slow. It has to last for...Copy !req
166. You ate it too fast.Copy !req
167. Maybe if we tied it down so it couldn't
move, it wouldn't get so hungry.Copy !req
168. You can't do that, Dad.
It's cruel!Copy !req
169. Everything's cruel
according to you.Copy !req
170. Keeping him chained up
in the backyard is cruel.Copy !req
171. Pulling on his tail is cruel.Copy !req
172. Yelling in his ears is cruel.Copy !req
173. Everything is cruel.Copy !req
174. So excuse me if I'm cruel!Copy !req
175. Now I've had my head in an elephant,
a hippo and a giant sloth.Copy !req
176. I think you're taking unfair
advantage of my generous offer.Copy !req
177. Shut up!Copy !req
178. He can't just eat peanuts, Dad.
He needs plants to live.Copy !req
179. Plants?Copy !req
180. Strip the bark now, Stampy.Copy !req
181. Hey, any more arboretums
around here?Copy !req
182. No!Copy !req
183. That bird!
He's killing the elephant! Stop him!Copy !req
184. No, Dad, he's grooming him.Copy !req
185. Grooming him?Copy !req
186. Homer, there's
a bird on your head.Copy !req
187. I know.
He's grooming me.Copy !req
188. Elephant fresh.Copy !req
189. Good night, Stampy.Copy !req
190. Thanks, Bud.
Appreciate it.Copy !req
191. Taught Stampy any tricks yet, Bart?Copy !req
192. Nah. He doesn't wanna learn,
and I don't wanna teach him.Copy !req
193. We get along fine.Copy !req
194. Hey, what's with them?Copy !req
195. I think they're trying
to get some attention.Copy !req
196. Good luck!Copy !req
197. Look at these bills.
"Chain for elephant."Copy !req
198. "Shots for elephant."
"Oversized decorative poncho"!Copy !req
199. Technically, it's for a giraffe,
but I think I can let it out a little.Copy !req
200. Well, these bills will have to be
paid out of your allowance.Copy !req
201. You'll have to raise my allowance
to about $1,000 a week.Copy !req
202. Then that's what I'll do, smart guy.Copy !req
203. - Can we see the elephant?
- We'll pay you money.Copy !req
204. For the ninth time, no!Copy !req
205. Wait a minute.
This gives me an idea.Copy !req
206. Here's a better sign, Dad.Copy !req
207. I don't have time to read it.Copy !req
208. Just give me
the gist of it, son.Copy !req
209. Your kid flew five feet.Copy !req
210. That counts as a ride.
Two bucks.Copy !req
211. That was never five feet.Copy !req
212. That animal of yours
is certainly bad-tempered.Copy !req
213. Yeah, well, you'd be grumpy tooCopy !req
214. if you were taken out
of your natural habitatCopy !req
215. and gawked at by a bunch
of slack-jawed yokels.Copy !req
216. Hey, ma, look at that
pointy-hairded little girl.Copy !req
217. You guys don't
understand Stampy.Copy !req
218. He's just like me.Copy !req
219. We're a pair of jokers,
and both of us are wild.Copy !req
220. We don't take nothing
from nobody.Copy !req
221. Smithers!Copy !req
222. This reminds me of that fat man
I used to ride to work.Copy !req
223. Look at this, Marge.
$58 and all of it profit!Copy !req
224. I'm the smartest businessman
in the world.Copy !req
225. Stampy's food bill
today was $300.Copy !req
226. Marge, please, don't humiliate me
in front of the money.Copy !req
227. Um, Milhouse saw the elephant
twiceCopy !req
228. and rode him once, right?Copy !req
229. Yes, but we paid you
four dollars.Copy !req
230. Well, that was under
our old price structure.Copy !req
231. Under our new price structure,Copy !req
232. your bill comes
to a total of $700.Copy !req
233. Now, you've already
paid me four dollars,Copy !req
234. so that's just $696 more
that you owe me.Copy !req
235. Get off our property.Copy !req
236. This town is full of deadbeats.Copy !req
237. We can't afford this elephant.Copy !req
238. No, Dad, he's my friend.Copy !req
239. Sorry, Bart.
I'm gonna have to sell him.Copy !req
240. Well, sir,
I'll be honest with ya.Copy !req
241. I need a large African elephant,
and I need it today.Copy !req
242. But I'm afraid this just
isn't what I'm looking for.Copy !req
243. What do you mean?
It's an elephant, isn't it?Copy !req
244. Well, it is and it isn't,
if you understand what I mean.Copy !req
245. He likes peanuts.Copy !req
246. Our wildlife refuge is the ideal
environment for your elephant.Copy !req
247. Thousands of acres
of simulated African savannah.Copy !req
248. It's perfect, Dad.Copy !req
249. I only have two questions:
How much? And give it to me.Copy !req
250. Well, we really can't
offer you any money.Copy !req
251. - We're a nonprofit organization.
- So, your bid is zero?Copy !req
252. - Well, we'd like to think of it as...
- Thank you.Copy !req
253. - You know, I really think...
- Thank you.Copy !req
254. Mr. Simpson, I think you'll find
this amount more than fair.Copy !req
255. Dad, I think
he's an ivory dealer.Copy !req
256. His boots are ivory.
His hat is ivory.Copy !req
257. And I'm pretty sure
that check is ivory.Copy !req
258. Lisa, a guy who has lots of ivory
is less likely to hurt StampyCopy !req
259. than a guy whose
ivory supplies are low.Copy !req
260. We love... you.Copy !req
261. - Mr. Blackheart?
- Yes, my pretty.Copy !req
262. Are you an ivory dealer?Copy !req
263. Little girl, I've had
lots of jobs in my day...Copy !req
264. Whale hunter, seal clubber,
president of the Fox network...Copy !req
265. And, like most people,Copy !req
266. yeah, I've dealt a little ivory.Copy !req
267. Dad, you can't do this.
Stampy is my friend.Copy !req
268. Don't worry, son.
I'll get you a new elephant.Copy !req
269. - I'll take that one too.
- Done.Copy !req
270. I'll be back in
the morning to pick up Stampy.Copy !req
271. Here's the keys.Copy !req
272. - Elephants don't have keys.
- I'll just keep these then.Copy !req
273. Don't worry, Stampy.Copy !req
274. I won't let Homer sell you
to that ivory dealer.Copy !req
275. You and I are gonna
run away together.Copy !req
276. We'll keep to the back roads
and make our way south.Copy !req
277. Then, if I know my geography,
it's just 12 miles to Africa.Copy !req
278. Okay, bud, very quietly,
let's just sneak through...Copy !req
279. Stampy!Copy !req
280. It's the four elephants
of the apocalypse.Copy !req
281. - That's horsemen, Ned.
- Well, getting closer.Copy !req
282. Mom, Dad,
Bart and Stampy are gone!Copy !req
283. My Lord!Copy !req
284. I bet it's because of that horrible
ivory dealer, Dad.Copy !req
285. He took Bart too?Copy !req
286. That wasn't part of
our deal, Blackheart!Copy !req
287. That wasn't part!Copy !req
288. Piece of cake.Copy !req
289. All we have to do is follow
the path of destruction.Copy !req
290. Stupid tornado!Copy !req
291. Look.Copy !req
292. It got Patty and Selma.Copy !req
293. I feel it
all the way up my skirt.Copy !req
294. Ditto.Copy !req
295. Whoa!Copy !req
296. Whoa!Copy !req
297. Yeah, right, lady.Copy !req
298. An elephant ran through
your front yard. Okay.Copy !req
299. Wiggum. Yeah, right,
mister.Copy !req
300. An elephant just knocked over
your mailbox. Okay.Copy !req
301. Wiggum.
Yeah, right, buddy.Copy !req
302. Liquor store robbery,
officer down. Sure.Copy !req
303. And I'm Edward G. Robinson.
Waah!Copy !req
304. Whoa!Copy !req
305. This is the moment
we've feared, people.Copy !req
306. Many of you thought
it would never happen,Copy !req
307. but I insisted we spend two hours
every morning training for it.Copy !req
308. You all thought I was mad.Copy !req
309. Many of you requested to be
transferred to another peanut factory.Copy !req
310. But now, we...Copy !req
311. Stampy!Copy !req
312. Stampy, where are you, boy?Copy !req
313. These prehistoric
creatures blundered into the tar pits,Copy !req
314. which preserved their skeletons
in showroom condition.Copy !req
315. He's gone forever.Copy !req
316. Stampy!Copy !req
317. You're lonely for
other elephants, aren't you?Copy !req
318. - D'
- A deer!Copy !req
319. A female deer.Copy !req
320. Son, you're okay!Copy !req
321. And you led us
to the precious ivory.Copy !req
322. And, of course, your lovable pet,
who it's connected to.Copy !req
323. Dad, I can't let you sell him.
Stampy and I are friends.Copy !req
324. Anyway, I want him to go
to that animal refuge.Copy !req
325. Forget it!Copy !req
326. That elephant cost me
thousands of dollars.Copy !req
327. Dad, how would you like to be
sold to an ivory dealer?Copy !req
328. - I'd like it fine.
- Even if he killed youCopy !req
329. and made your teeth
into piano keys?Copy !req
330. Yes, of course I would.Copy !req
331. Who wouldn't like that,
to be part of the music scene?Copy !req
332. Dad, you're sinking!Copy !req
333. - Get a rope, Bart.
- No, that's okay.Copy !req
334. I'm pretty sure
I can struggle my way out.Copy !req
335. First, I'll just reach in
and pull my legs out.Copy !req
336. Now I'll pull my arms out
with my face.Copy !req
337. - Dad!
- Homey!Copy !req
338. Stampy, quick!
Pull him out!Copy !req
339. Thanks, Stampy.Copy !req
340. I'm alive!
I'm alive!Copy !req
341. And I owe it all
to this feisty feline.Copy !req
342. Dad, feline means cat.Copy !req
343. Elephant, honey.
It's an elephant.Copy !req
344. And I'm sure he'll make
a grand piano.Copy !req
345. Dad!Copy !req
346. I guess it wouldn't be
right to sell StampyCopy !req
347. after he saved my life.Copy !req
348. And the boy seems to have some
sort of relationship with him.Copy !req
349. - Thanks, Dad.
- On the other hand,Copy !req
350. who's to say
what's right these days,Copy !req
351. what with all our modern ideas...
and products?Copy !req
352. All right. We'll give the stupid elephant
to the stupid animal refuge.Copy !req
353. Yea!Copy !req
354. Mom, we're stuck to Dad.Copy !req
355. This is just what happened
at the caramel factory.Copy !req
356. My hair!Copy !req
357. Caramel.Copy !req
358. So long, Stampy.Copy !req
359. I know you're gonna like it here.
No, Stampy, no!Copy !req
360. Thanks, boy.Copy !req
361. Whoa! Whoa, boy!Copy !req
362. Wh-whoa!Copy !req
363. Attaboy, Stampy.
Butt him once for me.Copy !req
364. Gosh, I thought he'd be happier
in his true habitat.Copy !req
365. I think he is.Copy !req
366. Then why is he attacking
all those other elephants?Copy !req
367. Well, animals are a lot
like people, Mrs. Simpson.Copy !req
368. - Some of them act badly
- Stampy!Copy !req
369. Because they had a hard life
or have been mistreated.Copy !req
370. But, like people,
some of them are just jerks.Copy !req
371. Stop that, Mr. Simpson.Copy !req
372. Shh!Copy !req
373. ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.Copy !req