1. The Simpsons.
Copy !req
2. Okay, Ron.
Copy !req
3. Which one of our girls
said the following about you?
Copy !req
4. "He looked so sexy,
I hoped we would have sex."
Copy !req
5. Well, that's a tough one,
Copy !req
6. 'cause I did the deed
with Ouda, Candy, and Shasta.
Copy !req
7. It's true, alright.
Copy !req
8. But I'm going to have
to go with Shasta,
Copy !req
9. 'cause she liked makin' bacon
on the beach.
Copy !req
10. Ooh. Me too.
Copy !req
11. Ohh, bacon.
Copy !req
12. Mr. Simpson, my husband and I
have decided to move.
Copy !req
13. Going to run out the clock
in Florida, eh?
Copy !req
14. Yes. Well,
there's a few things
Copy !req
15. you could do
to help us sell our home.
Copy !req
16. First, whenever you walk
in front of your window,
Copy !req
17. - could you please wear pants?
- Mmm, no.
Copy !req
18. Second, could you please take in
your jack-o'-lanterns
Copy !req
19. from past Halloweens?
Copy !req
20. Mmm, no.
Copy !req
21. And please cover your garbage.
Copy !req
22. It's attracting wildlife.
Copy !req
23. What?
Copy !req
24. Hey, moose! Shoo!
Copy !req
25. Yeah, I'm talking to you.
Copy !req
26. Get off my lawn. Now!
Copy !req
27. Hello. What's this?
Copy !req
28. Wire hangers, expired medicine,
old newspapers...
Copy !req
29. Okay, Homer, stay calm.
Copy !req
30. Just quietly get this stuff
inside your house.
Copy !req
31. Homer, you're not listening.
Copy !req
32. That medicine's not for you.
Copy !req
33. Come on, Marge.
Copy !req
34. Maybe I'm not getting enough...
Copy !req
35. "Estrogen."
Copy !req
36. Give me that.
Copy !req
37. Ahoy, mateys.
Had your fill of tacos?
Copy !req
38. Would ye sooner eat a bilge rat
than another burger?
Copy !req
39. Then come for
all-you-can-eat seafood
Copy !req
40. at the Frying Dutchman.
Copy !req
41. Is it more iced tea
ye be needing?
Copy !req
42. Okay.
Copy !req
43. Set sail
for the Frying Dutchman.
Copy !req
44. Aye, aye, Captain.
Copy !req
45. Marge, we're going
to that restaurant.
Copy !req
46. But I think
I'm allergic to seafood.
Copy !req
47. The last time I ate shrimp,
Copy !req
48. my throat closed up
and I went into convulsions.
Copy !req
49. Mmm... shrimp.
Copy !req
50. Now, I don't know much
about haggling or bargaining,
Copy !req
51. so why don't we just agree
to pay whatever the Winfields want.
Copy !req
52. That could work.
Copy !req
53. - What was that?
- Sigh.
Copy !req
54. Hmm? There you are.
Copy !req
55. Thought you could get away, huh?
Copy !req
56. Good-bye.
Copy !req
57. I don't think
we should be down here.
Copy !req
58. Nervous, Lise?
I don't blame you.
Copy !req
59. This is where the Winfields hid
their mutated son.
Copy !req
60. Bart! The Winfields
didn't have a son.
Copy !req
61. See that sock over there?
Copy !req
62. It was his only friend.
Copy !req
63. Hello, Lisa.
Copy !req
64. Here in the dark
you won't need those eyes.
Copy !req
65. Let me have them.
Copy !req
66. Bart! That's not funny.
Copy !req
67. There are some who say
the monster is still...
Copy !req
68. here!
Copy !req
69. Friend.
Copy !req
70. Friend...
Copy !req
71. - Hey, kid, wake up.
- Who are you?
Copy !req
72. I'm Laura, your new neighbor.
You all right?
Copy !req
73. She's beautiful.
Say something clever.
Copy !req
74. I fell on my bottom.
Copy !req
75. Oh, not again.
Copy !req
76. My mother's inside,
Mrs. Simpson.
Copy !req
77. Please go right on in.
Copy !req
78. Oh, you speak so politely
to adults.
Copy !req
79. My upbringing
was painfully strict, ma'am.
Copy !req
80. That's sweet.
Copy !req
81. And finally,
Moe's tavern has contributed a coupon
Copy !req
82. as their way of saying
"Welcome to Springfield."
Copy !req
83. Thank you,
this is all so nice.
Copy !req
84. I actually had some doubts
about moving to Springfield.
Copy !req
85. Especially after
that Time cover story,
Copy !req
86. "America's Worst City."
Copy !req
87. You can see our house in that photo.
Copy !req
88. And this is for the man
of the house...
Copy !req
89. Mmm... which I guess is you.
Copy !req
90. I guess I should explain.
Copy !req
91. Laura's father and I
divorced two years ago.
Copy !req
92. They're so sweet
when you marry them.
Copy !req
93. But soon it's just
career, career, career.
Copy !req
94. My hammock!
Do you understand?
Copy !req
95. Mine! Don't look that way.
Copy !req
96. I bet you don't know
this one.
Copy !req
97. How would you like
a hurts doughnut? Ow!
Copy !req
98. Hurts, don't it?
Copy !req
99. Right. Do you know
what a wet willy is?
Copy !req
100. Is it this?
Copy !req
101. Hey, baby, how about putting
your finger in my ear?
Copy !req
102. I don't know. Your boyfriend
looks like the jealous type.
Copy !req
103. - Hey, what the...
- That kid's messing with our minds.
Copy !req
104. - Let's get out of here.
- Now, where were we?
Copy !req
105. Oh, yeah, I was gonna tell your fortune.
Copy !req
106. Oh, man, you're gonna be rich.
Copy !req
107. Whoa!
Copy !req
108. There's your mansion.
Copy !req
109. There's the tennis court.
Copy !req
110. And there's the swimming pool.
Copy !req
111. See you later, Bart.
Copy !req
112. I'll never wash this hand
again.
Copy !req
113. Dad, make Bart
wash his hand.
Copy !req
114. Sorry, Lise, I no longer
control the hand.
Copy !req
115. - The hand controls me.
- Dad!
Copy !req
116. Shut up,
you little monsters!
Copy !req
117. Hello, I was wondering if you'd
like to baby-sit my little angels?
Copy !req
118. Sorry. This isn't Abby.
Copy !req
119. This is her sister.
I look after her now.
Copy !req
120. No, Bart, put it down.
Copy !req
121. Put it down, Bart.
Bart, put it down.
Copy !req
122. Aw, no all-you-can-eat
seafood.
Copy !req
123. I wore my extra-loose pants
for nothing.
Copy !req
124. Nothing!
Copy !req
125. - Maybe Laura could watch us.
- Oh, I get it.
Copy !req
126. Bart, the baby-sitter's here.
Copy !req
127. Let me tuck you in.
Copy !req
128. Silence!
Copy !req
129. Maybe it's time
I washed my hand.
Copy !req
130. I'll send Laura over
to baby-sit
Copy !req
131. as soon as she gets home.
Copy !req
132. Great. Oh, and there was
something else...
Copy !req
133. Something I was supposed
to tiptoe around.
Copy !req
134. - My divorce.
- That's it. Whoo-hoo!
Copy !req
135. I'm glad one of us
remembered.
Copy !req
136. That could have been
embarrassing.
Copy !req
137. Well, I know what
you're thinking,
Copy !req
138. and the answer is yes.
Copy !req
139. I want to be fixed up
Copy !req
140. with one of your friends
as soon as you can arrange it.
Copy !req
141. After all, Homer,
I do have the normal appetites.
Copy !req
142. I know what you mean.
Copy !req
143. Just let me make sure
we're not talkin' about food.
Copy !req
144. - I'm not.
- Right. Me neither.
Copy !req
145. - We're talking about sex, right?
- Right.
Copy !req
146. I hear you loud and clear.
Copy !req
147. Bart, are you taking a bath?
Copy !req
148. Yes, I am,
and it would be nice
Copy !req
149. to have a little privacy
around here for a change.
Copy !req
150. This wouldn't have anything to do
with Laura coming over, would it?
Copy !req
151. Hey, sometimes a guy just likes
his skin to look its yellowist.
Copy !req
152. Why, Laura,
what a pleasant surprise.
Copy !req
153. Cute. What do you
guys want for dinner?
Copy !req
154. I don't care.
Copy !req
155. Ask Hef over there.
Copy !req
156. Ladies' choice.
Copy !req
157. Sometimes I think you want
to fail!
Copy !req
158. Shut up. Just shut up!
Copy !req
159. We used to eat this
Copy !req
160. when my dad was stationed
in Vandahar.
Copy !req
161. Take your kafta bi sanya
and dip it in the labna.
Copy !req
162. Now that is good labna.
Copy !req
163. I'm sorry, ma'am, but everything
on the menu has fish in it.
Copy !req
164. What about the bread?
Does that have much fish in it?
Copy !req
165. - Yes.
- Well, I have some Tic-Tacs in my purse.
Copy !req
166. Excellent choice.
And for the gentleman?
Copy !req
167. All you can eat!
All you can eat!
Copy !req
168. All right, when you're ready,
take this plate over...
Copy !req
169. Please, don't take
the steam tray. Sir!
Copy !req
170. Come on, Bart,
if I can teach Maggie to waltz,
Copy !req
171. I can teach you.
Copy !req
172. Just follow me
and put your hand on my hip.
Copy !req
173. Okay.
Copy !req
174. - Wedgie!
- Whoa.
Copy !req
175. That man ate all our shrimp
Copy !req
176. and two plastic lobsters.
Copy !req
177. 'Tis no man.
Copy !req
178. 'Tis a remorseless
eating machine.
Copy !req
179. Arrrggg.
Copy !req
180. Six bells.
Time for closing.
Copy !req
181. Can't talk.
Eating.
Copy !req
182. Fairly warned be thee, says I.
Copy !req
183. Hey. Hey!
Copy !req
184. But the sign said
"All you can eat."
Copy !req
185. I'm going to fight
this thing.
Copy !req
186. Oh, please don't.
Copy !req
187. For me.
Copy !req
188. Sorry, Marge,
this is my quest.
Copy !req
189. I'm like that guy.
That Spanish guy.
Copy !req
190. You know,
he fought the windmills?
Copy !req
191. - Don Quixote?
- No, that's not it.
Copy !req
192. What's his name?
The Man of La Mancha.
Copy !req
193. - Don Quixote.
- No!
Copy !req
194. I really think that was
the character's name, Don Quixote.
Copy !req
195. Fine.
I'll look it up.
Copy !req
196. Well, who was it?
Copy !req
197. Never mind.
Copy !req
198. Oh, no, here comes
the conservative judge.
Copy !req
199. - Plead insanity. Plead insanity!
- It's not working.
Copy !req
200. All right. Hit the change
of venue button! Now!
Copy !req
201. Oh, no,
you're in Texas.
Copy !req
202. If I'd hit the remorse button
one more time I would have made it.
Copy !req
203. Oh, Bart, I gotta go.
See you around.
Copy !req
204. - I am thinking you like this girl, yes?
- How did you know?
Copy !req
205. My ceiling mirrors and video cameras
sometimes see more
Copy !req
206. than who is
about to shoot me.
Copy !req
207. All you can eat. Ha!
Copy !req
208. Mr. Simpson, this is
the most blatant case
Copy !req
209. of fraudulent advertising
since my suit
Copy !req
210. against the film
the Neverending Story.
Copy !req
211. So, do you think
I have a case?
Copy !req
212. Homer, I don't use the word
"hero" very often,
Copy !req
213. but you are the greatest hero
in American history.
Copy !req
214. - I'm here to see my Grampa.
- Here I am, sonny.
Copy !req
215. You're not my Grampa.
Copy !req
216. Aw, come on,
give me a chance.
Copy !req
217. Hey, can your grandfather
do this?
Copy !req
218. Hey! Ha! Hoo!
Copy !req
219. Hey! Ha! Hoo!
Copy !req
220. Hey! Ha! Oh!
Copy !req
221. Bart! Aw, you remembered
my birthday.
Copy !req
222. Huh? Oh, I sure did.
Copy !req
223. Here's a bus schedule.
Copy !req
224. Wow! Fits right in my pocket.
Copy !req
225. Grampa, I need some advice.
Copy !req
226. Did you ever have a crush
on an older woman?
Copy !req
227. I had a crush
on the oldest woman.
Copy !req
228. 120 years old, she was.
Copy !req
229. Here's a picture of her
delivering Eubie Blake.
Copy !req
230. What happened?
Copy !req
231. She fell in with that
Guinness Book of Records crowd.
Copy !req
232. Suddenly she didn't
have any time for me.
Copy !req
233. Oh, I wore a 15-pound
beard of bees
Copy !req
234. for that woman,
but it just wasn't enough.
Copy !req
235. Dad, I have some questions
about women.
Copy !req
236. Uh, can't you see I'm reading
the... cultural calendar?
Copy !req
237. Ooh, "Mostly Mozart" is in town.
Copy !req
238. Homer, Bart's at
a very curious age.
Copy !req
239. As his father,
I think you should have
Copy !req
240. a frank and earthy
discussion about...
Copy !req
241. Mmm, you know.
Copy !req
242. But Marge,
I think he should learn
Copy !req
243. about it
the same way I did.
Copy !req
244. Are you sure?
Copy !req
245. Zoo keeper! Zoo keeper!
Copy !req
246. Those two monkeys
are killing each other.
Copy !req
247. They're having sex.
Copy !req
248. Maybe you're right.
Copy !req
249. Now if you'll excuse us...
Copy !req
250. this is a sacred moment
between a boy and his father.
Copy !req
251. Son, a woman
is a lot like, um...
Copy !req
252. a refrigerator.
Copy !req
253. They're about six feet tall,
300 pounds.
Copy !req
254. They make ice, and...
Copy !req
255. Oh, wait a minute.
Copy !req
256. Actually, a woman
is more like a beer.
Copy !req
257. They smell good,
they look good.
Copy !req
258. You'd step over your own
mother just to get one.
Copy !req
259. But you can't stop at one.
Copy !req
260. You want to drink
another woman.
Copy !req
261. So I says, "Yeah?
If you want that money,
Copy !req
262. "come and find it,
Copy !req
263. "'cause I don't know
where it is, you baloney.
Copy !req
264. You make me want to retch."
Copy !req
265. Hmm, how can I get her
to notice me?
Copy !req
266. Meet me at the tree house, Bart.
Copy !req
267. And come alone.
Copy !req
268. Thanks for coming.
Copy !req
269. I please to aim.
Copy !req
270. I'm so happy.
Copy !req
271. I just had to tell someone.
Copy !req
272. I have a boyfriend.
Copy !req
273. You won't be needing this.
Copy !req
274. A boyfriend?
Copy !req
275. I really think
you'd like him, Bart.
Copy !req
276. His name's Jimbo.
Copy !req
277. Jimbo Jones?
Copy !req
278. You've been flushing
for 20 minutes.
Copy !req
279. Is there a problem?
Copy !req
280. Uh... no, Principal Skinner.
Copy !req
281. Very well.
I'll continue to wait.
Copy !req
282. How can you like that guy?
Copy !req
283. I don't know, maybe
'cause he's an outlaw.
Copy !req
284. You know that dead body
Copy !req
285. they found
behind the mayor's house?
Copy !req
286. Jimbo killed him?
Copy !req
287. No, but he poked him
with a stick.
Copy !req
288. Hey, Laura,
Dr. Tongue has arrived.
Copy !req
289. That's him, Bart.
Copy !req
290. - Who's the dork?
- Leave him alone.
Copy !req
291. He's just a kid.
Copy !req
292. Just a kid...
Copy !req
293. I'll show them
who's just a kid.
Copy !req
294. Bart, it's your bedtime.
Copy !req
295. I laid out your jammy-jams.
Copy !req
296. Dad, if there's
a really special girl
Copy !req
297. and she likes some clod
who's beneath her,
Copy !req
298. what should you do?
Copy !req
299. I married her.
Copy !req
300. Homer, please.
Copy !req
301. I just had eggs.
Copy !req
302. Good luck in your trumped-up
lawsuit, Dad.
Copy !req
303. Thanks.
That means a lot to me.
Copy !req
304. All right, you guys, I want you guys
in bed before Jimbo gets here.
Copy !req
305. What do you like about him?
Copy !req
306. He's just a good-looking rebel
who plays by his own rules.
Copy !req
307. 'Twas a moonless night,
Copy !req
308. dark as pitch,
when out the mist
Copy !req
309. came a beast
more stomach than man.
Copy !req
310. - Hey!
- So I says to me bosun's:
Copy !req
311. "Batten down
the mizzenmast, mateys."
Copy !req
312. Captain McAllister,
isn't it a fact
Copy !req
313. that you're not
a real captain?
Copy !req
314. Aye.
Copy !req
315. Your Honor, I would like
to show the court
Copy !req
316. just how much shrimp
Mr. Simpson ate.
Copy !req
317. Bring it in, boys.
Copy !req
318. 18,000 letters all addressed
to Santa Claus.
Copy !req
319. You want The People of
Springfield v. Kris Kringle.
Copy !req
320. That's next door.
Copy !req
321. Mrs. Simpson,
isn't it true
Copy !req
322. your husband once consumed
a ten-pound bag of flour
Copy !req
323. when no other food
was available?
Copy !req
324. - Yes, but it was...
- Your witness.
Copy !req
325. - Uh, there's a pizza here for...
- Right here.
Copy !req
326. Mrs. Simpson, what did
you and your husband do
Copy !req
327. after you were ejected
from the restaurant?
Copy !req
328. We... pretty much
went straight home.
Copy !req
329. Mrs. Simpson,
you're under oath.
Copy !req
330. We drove around
until 3:00 a.m.
Copy !req
331. looking for another
all-you-can-eat fish restaurant.
Copy !req
332. And when you
couldn't find one?
Copy !req
333. We went fishing.
Copy !req
334. Did these sound like
the actions of a man
Copy !req
335. who had all he could eat?
Copy !req
336. - Not at all!
- No!
Copy !req
337. That could have been me.
Copy !req
338. Homer,
I've a proposition for ye
Copy !req
339. fair and true.
Copy !req
340. Come on, Marge.
Copy !req
341. Let the people see
your pretty face.
Copy !req
342. Come see Bottomless Pete,
Copy !req
343. nature's cruelest mistake.
Copy !req
344. Come for the freak,
Copy !req
345. stay for the food.
Copy !req
346. Oh, he's hideous.
Copy !req
347. I heard they shaved a gorilla.
Copy !req
348. Hey, baby,
my shirt's chafing me.
Copy !req
349. Mind if I take it off?
Copy !req
350. Well... okay.
Copy !req
351. I got to do something.
Copy !req
352. But it says "Good for
one free beer at Moe's."
Copy !req
353. This is Moe's tavern,
isn't it?
Copy !req
354. No. This is Bo's Cavern.
Copy !req
355. Give me my beer.
Copy !req
356. Stupid welcome-mobile.
Copy !req
357. I knew it would ruin me.
Copy !req
358. Just a sec, I'll check.
Copy !req
359. Uh... Amanda Huggenkiss?
Copy !req
360. Hey, I'm looking
for Amanda Huggenkiss.
Copy !req
361. Why can't I find
Amanda Huggenkiss?
Copy !req
362. Maybe your standards
are too high.
Copy !req
363. You little S.O.B.!
Copy !req
364. If I ever find out
who you are
Copy !req
365. I'm gonna shove a sausage
down your throat
Copy !req
366. and stick starving dogs
in your butt.
Copy !req
367. My name is Jimbo Jones
Copy !req
368. and I live
at 1094 Evergreen Terrace.
Copy !req
369. Aha! Big mistake, pal!
Copy !req
370. I knew he'd slip up
sooner or later.
Copy !req
371. Ah, yes. Rusty and dull.
Copy !req
372. Barney, don't steal
Copy !req
373. any beer while I'm gone.
Copy !req
374. What kind of pathetic drunk
do you take me for?
Copy !req
375. Somebody spilled beer
in this ashtray.
Copy !req
376. Let's see,
where is that map?
Copy !req
377. Evergreen Terrace...
There it is, F-5.
Copy !req
378. I don't believe it.
Copy !req
379. Now my pants
are chafing me.
Copy !req
380. All right.
Who's Jimbo Jones?
Copy !req
381. I am.
Copy !req
382. You just made your
second mistake, buddy boy.
Copy !req
383. Please, dude,
don't hurt me.
Copy !req
384. Oh, man!
Copy !req
385. That's your outlaw?
Copy !req
386. I wasn't really going to kill ya.
I was just going to cut ya.
Copy !req
387. Aw, forget it.
Copy !req
388. Ouch! I better
go check on Barney.
Copy !req
389. Uh-oh, my heart just stopped.
Copy !req
390. Ah! There it goes.
Copy !req
391. Stupid wishing well.
Copy !req
392. Jimbo, I don't think
Copy !req
393. we should see
each other anymore.
Copy !req
394. You're just not the guy
I thought you were.
Copy !req
395. Can I have my shirt back?
Copy !req
396. Well, Bart,
you were right about him.
Copy !req
397. As usual,
a knife-wielding maniac
Copy !req
398. has shown us the way.
Copy !req
399. You know, if you
were only old enough
Copy !req
400. to grow a bad
teenage moustache,
Copy !req
401. I'd go out
with you in a second.
Copy !req
402. Wow.
Copy !req
403. Hello. I'd like to speak
to Ms. Tinkle.
Copy !req
404. First name...
Copy !req
405. Ivana.
Copy !req
406. Ivana Tinkle.
Just a sec.
Copy !req
407. Ivana Tinkle?
Ivana Tinkle!
Copy !req
408. All right, everybody,
put down your glasses.
Copy !req
409. Ivana Tinkle!
Copy !req
410. Har, har, har.
Copy !req