The Simpsons 4x5

Marcia Wallace as Edna Krabappel (voice)

A Halloween trilogy includes a murderous Krusty doll; a "King Kong" parody; an invasion of zombies unleashed by Bart's incantation.

Request examples:

!req The Simpsons 4x5 [02:32]
!req The Simpsons 4x5 [The Simpsons 4x5]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req The Simpsons 4x5 [10-11]; !req The Simpsons 4x5 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Good evening.

2. I've been asked to tell you

3. that the following show is very scary

4. with stuff that might give your kids nightmares.

5. You see, there are some crybabies out there,

6. religious types mostly, who might be offended.

7. If you are one of them,

8. I advise you to turn off your set now.

9. Come on, I dare you.

10. Chicken.

11. Hey!

12. Homer, did you just call everyone chicken?

13. No. I swear on this bible.

14. That's not a bible. That's a book of carpet samples.

15. Ooh, fuzzy.

16. Behold mighty Caesar.

17. In all his glory.

18. I am Calliope, the muse of heroic poetry.

19. No kidding?

20. Stupid party.

21. Wish we was trick-or-treating.

22. Now Bart, you can find just as much horror

23. around the house.

24. Now, you children may not know it,

25. but there was once an evil witch,

26. and she died a horrible death.

27. These are her eyes...

28. And this is her hair...

29. And these are her brains.

30. Yo, Mom, we haven't got the eyeballs yet.

31. Homer, you're ruining it.

32. Yeah, well, it was an evil game.

33. Well, now we need another Halloween activity.

34. Hmm, does anyone know a ghost story?

35. I do, it's the story of a boy and his doll.

36. That's not so scary.

37. A doll from hell!

38. I'm gonna go to the store.

39. Happy birthday, Bart.

40. Thanks, Grampa.

41. Where did you get all the money?

42. The government. I didn't earn it.

43. I don't need it,

44. but if they miss one payment,

45. I'll raise hell.

46. Hey, Homer, where's your present?

47. D'oh! I mean, don't worry, son.

48. I forgot to get you a present,

49. but I swear on my father's grave...

50. - Hey! - I will get you one now.

51. Do you sell toys?

52. We sell forbidden objects from places

53. men fear to tread.

54. We also sell frozen yogurt, which I call frogurt.

55. Well, I need something for my son's birthday.

56. Perhaps this will please the gentleman.

57. Take this object.

58. But beware, it carries a terrible curse.

59. Oh, that's bad.

60. But it comes with a free frogurt.

61. - That's good. - The frogurt is also cursed.

62. - That's bad. - But you get your choice of topping.

63. - That's good. - The toppings contain

64. potassium benzoate.

65. - That's bad. - Can I go now?

66. Happy birthday, son.

67. Great Caesar's ghost!

68. A talking Krusty doll!

69. I'm Krusty the Clown,

70. and I love you very much.

71. Oh, Dad, this is the best birthday I've ever had.

72. That doll is evil, I tells you.

73. Evil. Evil!

74. Grampa, you said that about all the presents.

75. I just want attention.

76. And in environmental news, scientists have announced

77. that Springfield's air is now only dangerous

78. to children and the elderly.

79. Whoo-hoo!

80. I'm Krusty the Clown, and I don't like you.

81. I'm Krusty the Clown, and I'm going to kill you.

82. Didn't even pull the string that time.

83. I said I'm going to kill you.

84. You, Homer Simpson.

85. Oh, yeah? With what?

86. Homer, what's wrong?

87. That doll tried to kill me.

88. I'd say that the pressure's finally gotten to Dad,

89. but what pressure?

90. Don't leave me alone with him.

91. My bologna has a first name.

92. It's H-O-M-E-R.

93. My bologna has a second name.

94. It's H-O-M-E-R.

95. There goes the last lingering thread

96. of my heterosexuality.

97. Hey, baby, get comfortable.

98. Relax.

99. It's a little hot for that cheerleader outfit,

100. don't you think?

101. You think your dirty socks can stop me?

102. Well, they are making me dizzy.

103. Good-bye, Dolly.

104. Arrivederci, Vito.

105. I was a fool to think anyone would want

106. nude photos of Whoopi Goldberg.

107. What the...

108. And that is that.

109. Guess who, fat boy!

110. Marge! Marge! Look!

111. Oh, my God!

112. The doll's trying to kill me,

113. and the toaster's been laughing at me.

114. Eww, dog water!

115. Your doll is trying to kill my husband.

116. Yes, I'll hold.

117. Everybody loves a clown, so why don't you?

118. Yep, here's your problem.

119. Someone set this thing to evil.

120. I love you, Homer.

121. Come here, you.

122. - Here you go, buddy. - Did you walk the dog?

123. Yeah, he buried me a couple of times.

124. Yeah, dogs like to bury old junk.

125. Yeah, you stupid idiot.

126. Oh, what a day.

127. Homer made me give him a sponge bath.

128. But coming home to you makes it all worthwhile.

129. Uh-oh, here, let me get that for you.

130. So then his wife comes through the door.

131. - So? - Did I mention she was dead?

132. - No. - Well, she was.

133. And she hit him in the head

134. with a golf club.

135. - And? - Don't you remember,

136. he went golfing all the time, and it really bugged her.

137. You said he went bowling.

138. Homer, I've coughed up scarier stuff than that.

139. Grampa, why don't you tell us a story.

140. You've led an interesting life.

141. That's a lie, and you know it!

142. But I have seen a lot of movies.

143. My name is Marge Bouvier.

144. I'm here about your ad.

145. "Single white female wanted for mysterious expedition.

146. "Must like monkeys.

147. Non-smoker preferred."

148. Well, you'd be a welcome change of pace

149. from the rest of these crude and uncouth sailors.

150. What do you think, Smithers?

151. I think women and seamen don't mix.

152. We know what you think.

153. Young lady, you're hired.

154. Hey, I heard we're going to Ape Island.

155. Yeah, to capture a giant ape.

156. I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island.

157. Candy Apple Island?

158. What do they got there?

159. Apes... but they're not so big.

160. Homer, Homer, Homer.

161. Hey, who's this Homer dude?

162. He's either a 50-foot prehistoric ape

163. or a tourist trap concocted by the Ape Island Jaycees.

164. Either way, we're going ashore.

165. - Am I going too? - Of course,

166. we wouldn't think of going without the bait...

167. uh, that is, the bait-thing beauty...

168. the bathing beauty.

169. I covered that up pretty well.

170. Homer, Homer, Homer,

171. Homer, Homer, Homer, Homer...

172. Just try to remain inconspicuous.

173. What's he saying?

174. He's saying, uh...

175. "We wouldn't dream

176. of sacrificing the blue-haired woman."

177. Oh, well, isn't that...

178. Whoa!

179. D-oh!

180. Smithers, this is a golden opportunity.

181. If we get him alive, we can put him on Broadway.

182. Dead... We'll sell monkey stew to the army.

183. You keep your hands to yourself, mister!

184. Now, we don't want to kill him.

185. Shoot him around the groin and belly.

186. Hey, Homer, cut it out.

187. Come on, quit eating me.

188. Nice shot, Carl.

189. All right, you big ape.

190. Get a snootful of this gas bomb.

191. I was strolling through the gas one day...

192. Nice work, Smithers.

193. When we get back, I'm giving you a raise.

194. Oh, well.

195. What kind of show you got for us, Mr. Burns?

196. Well, the ape's going

197. to stand around for three hours or so.

198. Then we'll close with the ethnic comedy of Dugan and Dershowitz.

199. Sensational!

200. Ladies and gentlemen, in his native land, he was a king,

201. but he comes before you in chains for your own amusement.

202. Presenting Homer, the Eighth Wonder of the World!

203. Wow, look at the size of that platform!

204. I think you're making him angry.

205. Come on, what's he going to do...

206. Run amok in downtown Springfield?

207. Hey, monkey, want a peanut?

208. I said one!

209. On the Good Ship Lollipop.

210. It's a sweet trip to the candy shop.

211. Where bonbons...

212. I'm dreading the reviews, I can tell you that.

213. Oh, hi, Homey.

214. He's sure taking his sweet time.

215. Better refuel.

216. You know, you look a little flushed.

217. Maybe you should eat more vegetables

218. and less people.

219. He's not dead!

220. No, but his career is.

221. I remember when Al Jolson ran amok

222. at the winter garden

223. and climbed the Chrysler Building.

224. After that, he couldn't get arrested in this town.

225. Don't worry, Homey.

226. I'll take care of you.

227. Are you with the bride or groom?

228. Right this way.

229. Folks, if you could just stop cleaning each other for a second.

230. Wait, wait, Marge, I can't find your father.

231. Oh, Homer.

232. Now, kids, instead of candy, I thought I'd serve

233. an array of healthy fresh fruits.

234. Fruit is nature's candy.

235. Whoa!

236. Hey, hi, fellow Halloweenies.

237. Did I scaredilly-dare you?

238. Why... da-da-darn it.

239. Nice try, Mr. Flanders,

240. but I've got a story so scary

241. you'll wet your pants.

242. Too late.

243. From A-apple to Z-zebra,

244. Baby's First Pop-Up Book is 26 pages

245. of alphabetic adventure.

246. Bart, you mean to tell me

247. you read a book intended for pre-schoolers?

248. Well, most of it.

249. You have to read another book.

250. "Find Waldo Yet Again."

251. Man, he's just not trying anymore.

252. Gee, never noticed that before.

253. Ow! What's this?

254. - Evil. - Evil.

255. Madness.

256. - Beware. - Beware.

257. Cool!

258. Chapter 8, "Let's Talk Zombies."

259. "If a zombie bites you, you become a zombie.

260. "You must walk the earth

261. "feeding on the brains of the living

262. until the spell is broken."

263. Bart, please, don't you remember that Snowball I died

264. four years ago tonight?

265. Run over by the mayor's beer-swilling brother, Clovis.

266. Hey, maybe there's a spell in here

267. that'll bring her back from the dead.

268. Let's see what we've got.

269. "How to get your skeletons their whitest."

270. "Selling your soul in a buyers' market."

271. Ah, here we are! "How to raise the dead."

272. Cullen, Rayburn, Narz, Trebek.

273. Zabar, Kresge, Caldor, Wal-Mart!

274. It's not working.

275. Bart, you cast the wrong spell!

276. Zombies!

277. Please, Lise, they prefer to be called

278. the living-impaired.

279. There, pretty as a picture.

280. Ach! Zombies!

281. There, pretty as a picture.

282. Well, howdy, strangers. What can I do you for?

283. - Brains. - Brains.

284. Why, Sue Dolkes, you rascal.

285. I thought you were dead and...

286. Dad we did something very bad!

287. - Did you wreck the car? - No.

288. - Did you raise the dead? - Yes!

289. - But the car's okay? - Uh-huh.

290. All right then.

291. Martin Prince, report to my office at once,

292. and bring that big, juicy, chess club brain of yours

293. along with you.

294. Hey, kids look what you can win

295. in the Krusty sweepstakes.

296. To enter, send me your parents' brains

297. or write "Parents' Brains" On a 3x5 card

298. and send it to...

299. Homer, did you barricade the door?

300. Why?

301. Oh, the zombies. No.

302. Spare my family.

303. Take me. Take me.

304. - Brains! - Brains!

305. - Brains. - Brains.

306. I thought dabbling in the black arts

307. would be good for a chuckle.

308. How wrong I was.

309. I should have never read that book.

310. Wait, Bart, maybe the library has another book

311. that will reverse the spell.

312. It's our only hope.

313. To the book depository!

314. Hey, Simpson.

315. I'm feeling a might peckish.

316. Mind if I chew your ear?

317. Dad, you killed the zombie Flanders!

318. He was a zombie?

319. KZMB, all-zombie radio.

320. The zombies have the earthlings on the run.

321. Soon the human race will wither and fall

322. like the earth plums

323. we have seen on the observascope.

324. Ow! Careful.

325. Not the face.

326. Barney, not you too?

327. I'm not a zombie.

328. But hey, when in Rome...

329. Wow! George Washington!

330. Take that, Washington.

331. - Eat lead, Einstein. - Oy.

332. Show's over, Shakespeare.

333. Is this the end of zombie Shakespeare?

334. Hurry, Bart!

335. Kolchak, Mannix,

336. Banacek, Danno!

337. What's wrong?

338. Uh... I never realized

339. what a beautiful young woman you've become.

340. Trojan, Ramses, Magnum, Sheik!

341. - See you in hell. - Still pushing that boulder?

342. Excuse me, I'm John Smith.

343. John Smith, 1882?

344. My mistake.

345. The zombies that plagued our town

346. are now just corpses rotting in our streets.

347. Well, I'm sure glad we didn't turn into mindless zombies.

348. Shh, TV.

349. Man fall down.

350. Funny.