The Simpsons 4x20

Directed by Jeffrey Lynch

Barry White as himself (voice) • Barry White as Barry White (voice)

Lisa takes a stand against Springfield's annual snake-bashing festival.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. D'OH!

2. CHILDREN, WE'VE JUST BEEN SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS...

3. A SURPRISE INSPECTION.

4. SO, LET'S CLEAN UP THIS PIGSTY.

5. WHOA!

6. ON ANOTHER TOPIC, HAVE WON MOUNTAIN BIKES.

7. BART SIMPSON, JIMBO JONES,

8. NELSON MUNTZ.

9. TILL I GET BACK.

10. Y-YES, SIR.

11. IN UTILITY BASEMENT "B."

12. FOOLS.

13. OOPS. STILL ON.

14. HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT "FOOLS" REMARK?

15. AW, WHO CARES? A MOUNTAIN BIKE.

16. HEY, WHAT GIVES? THE MOUNTAIN BIKES?

17. THE RUSE, GENTLEMEN.

18. YOU'RE BEING SWEPT THE SUPERINTENDENT'S VISIT.

19. - ENJOY.

20. HOW ARE WE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE?

21. OUR MOUNTAIN BIKES?

22. IF I THREW AWAY THE KEY?

23. NO, BUT THE P.T.A. A NEW ARSE.

24. WISE COUNSEL, WILLIAM. ADDS NOTHING.

25. AYE, SIR. YOU BATH-TAKING, LILY HUGGER.

26. SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS, WELCOME.

27. - HELLO, SEYMOUR. - SO, WHAT'S THE WORD DOWN AT ONE SCHOOL BOARD PLAZA?

28. WE'RE DROPPING THE GEOGRAPHY REQUIREMENT.

29. THE CHILDREN WEREN'T TESTING WELL. IT WAS PROVING TO BE AN EMBARRASSMENT.

30. VERY GOOD. BACK TO THE THREE "R's."

31. TWO "R's" COME OCTOBER. HMM.

32. THE BANNERS? TRANSPARENT TOADYING.

33. THEY WERE THE CHILDREN'S IDEA. I TRIED TO STOP THEM.

34. IT'S ALWAYS THE CHILDREN'S FAULT, ISN'T IT, SEYMOUR?

35. YES. YES, IT IS, SIR.

36. WITH NO BULLIES.

37. NOT GETTING BEAT UP.

38. THEIR LUNCH MONEY FOR FOOD.

39. I CAN'T TAKE IT!

40. HEY, I THINK I CAN SQUEEZE THROUGH THAT VENT.

41. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, BART. DO IT, MAN.

42. NOW, REMEMBER, LITTLE DUDE, YOU'RE OUR ONLY HOPE.

43. OW!

44. GOT 'IM! WAY TO GO, MAN.

45. IN A JELL-O BRICK, SIR? THERE'S A GRAPE IN THE CENTER.

46. WELL, I'M NOT MADE OF STONE.

47. YOU'RE NOT MADE OF STONE.

48. YOU'RE NOT MADE OF... STONE.

49. ACH, MY BEAUTY.

50. THE SUPERINTENDENT SEES YOU.

51. OF GOD'S LAW, I'D MAKE YOU MY WIFE.

52. NOW THAR'S A LONELY MAN.

53. I'M NEW IN TOWN. BE THERE A COOL LOCH...

54. HER LONG, RED HAIR?

55. NAY, BUT THERE'S A POOL AT ME APARTMENT COMPLEX. THERE WAS A RAT IN THE DEEP END.

56. BUT WE GOT 'IM! AH, LEAD ON.

57. FORTY-EIGHT, 49, 50.

58. FLAG'S UP-TO-DATE. VERY GOOD, SEYMOUR.

59. NOW, ARE THESE CHILDREN AS SMART AS THEY LOOK?

60. WELL, LET'S, UH, PICK ONE AT RANDOM. MMM, HOW ABOUT THAT ONE?

61. YOU MEAN THIS BOY HERE? NO! NO. LISA SIMPSON.

62. OF NEW ORLEANS? - JANUARY 8, 1815.

63. THE WAR ENDED.

64. FIRST-RATE. WHAT'S A BATTLE?

65. LET'S GO.

66. DID THAT BOY SAY, "WHAT'S A BATTLE?" HE SAID, "WHAT'S THAT RATTLE?"

67. ABOUT THE HEATING DUCT. HMM. IT SOUNDED LIKE BATTLE.

68. I'VE HAD A COLD, SO, UH— OH, SO YOU WOULD HEAR "R's" AS "B's?"

69. YES. I UNDERSTAND.

70. COME ON, BART. RIDE ME.

71. I BETTER NOT.

72. HE'S INSULTING BOTH OF US.

73. LET'S GO.

74. EXCELLENT. NOT A TRACE OF URINE. SEYMOUR, YOU RUN A TIGHT SHIP.

75. WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, SIR. "WHERE THERE'S NO SMOKE, THERE'S NO FIRE."

76. WHAT AN ODD REMARK. WHY, THAT LOOKS LIKE A 50-CENT PIECE.

77. I'LL JUST BEND OVER AND GET IT.

78. SEEMS TO BE CAUGHT...

79. BETWEEN THESE TWO FLOWERS.

80. OW, OW, OW. SEYMOUR, TO ASSISTANT SUPERINTENDENT.

81. BUT, INSTEAD, THAT PLUM GOES TO HOLLOWAY.

82. - NO. BUT, SIR, HE'S A DRUNK. - AND A PILL-POPPER.

83. - SILENCE!

84. POSING AS A NURSE?

85. THIS WAY. D'OH.

86. THERE'S NO DETENTION THIS TIME, SIMPSON.

87. THIS IS THE END.

88. FROM SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY.

89. AW.

90. TONIGHT ON EYE ON SPRINGFIELD, THE WIZARD OF OZ.

91. WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

92. AND WE'LL VISIT A NUDIST CAMP... FOR ANIMALS.

93. BUT, FIRST, A LOOK AT THAT WAS CALLED...

94. BY A PANEL OF HILLBILLIES, "WHACKING DAY."

95. - OH, NO, NO! DATES BACK TO...

96. SPRINGFIELD, EVERY MAY 10, LOCAL RESIDENTS GATHER...

97. AND WHACK THEM TO SNAKE HEAVEN.

98. AFTER EXPOSING ALGER HISS,

99. RICHARD NIXON...

100. ANOTHER DEADLY HISS.

101. OH!

102. I-IS WHACKING DAY OVER?

103. THANK YOU. THANKS FOR COMING OUT.

104. IT'S ALL SO BARBARIC.

105. HEY, KIDS, HOW WAS SCHOOL?

106. IN A PENNYWEIGHT. I GOT EXPELLED.

107. THAT'S MY BOY.

108. MMM, BEER. WHAT?

109. LOOK, DAD, I DON'T NEED SCHOOL.

110. I'LL MAKE MY WAY AS A BOOTBLACK. SHINE YOUR BOOTS, GUV'NOR?

111. IS GONNA BE A 19th-CENTURY COCKNEY BOOTBLACK.

112. WE'RE GONNA FIND YOU ANOTHER SCHOOL.

113. NOW, REMEMBER, BART. THIS IS A RELIGIOUS SCHOOL,

114. ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY AND DO HERE. NO PROBLEMO.

115. NOW, BART, SINCE YOU'RE NEW HERE,

116. PERHAPS YOU'D FAVOR US WITH A PSALM.

117. HOW ABOUT "BEANS, BEANS, THE MUSICAL FRUIT"?

118. WELL, UH, BEANS WERE A STAPLE OF THE ISRAELITES. YES, PROCEED.

119. BEANS, BEANS, THE MUSICAL FRUIT.

120. THE MORE YOU EAT, THE MORE YOU TOOT.

121. AVERT YOUR EYES, CHILDREN. HE MAY TAKE ON OTHER FORMS.

122. I GUESS THAT'S IT. I JUST CAN'T BE EDUCATED.

123. DANGEROUS FOOD ADDITIVES.

124. WE'D LIKE YOU TO TRY THIS NEW DIET COLA.

125. "NATURE'S GOODNESS." - WHAT'S IN IT?

126. 2-4 DESOXYPROPENURAMINE.

127. SWEET.

128. PLEASING TASTE. SOME "MONSTERISM."

129. COOL. YOU'RE GOING TO GET AN EDUCATION.

130. - I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU MYSELF. - MARGE, IT'S TOO LATE.

131. THE BOY'S 10 YEARS OLD. LET'S FOCUS OUR ENERGY ON LISA AND THE OTHER ONE.

132. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? WHACKING DAY'S COMING.

133. WHOO-HOO! OF THE YEAR.

134. IS EVIL.

135. MAYBE SO, LISA, BUT IT'S PART OF OUR OH, SO HUMAN NATURE.

136. THAT CANNOT BE RESOLVED.

137. I AM EVIL HOMER. I AM EVIL HOMER.

138. I AM EVIL HOMER.

139. HAVE A NICE DAY AT SCHOOL, LISE. I'LL JUST TRY AND MAKE THE BEST OF A BAD SITUATION.

140. AHH.

141. BART, GET DRESSED FOR SCHOOL. WHEN THE BELL RINGS.

142. I BOUGHT A BELL.

143. I THINK I'LL UNPLUG THAT.

144. I'M YOUR NEW TEACHER. MY NAME IS MRS. SIMPSON.

145. I DIDN'T DO IT.

146. OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

147. TO TALK TO THE CLASS.

148. HELLO, CHILDREN.

149. PARACHUTED INTO DÜSSELDORF.

150. AS A GERMAN CABARET SINGER.

151. ACH DU LIEBE! DAS IST NOT EINE BOOBY.

152. IS THAT STORY TRUE, GRAMPA? WELL, MOST OF IT.

153. FOR A PERIOD IN THE '40s.

154. OH, THEY HAD DESIGNERS THEN.

155. LOOK WHAT I GOT, MARGE. A NEW WHACKING STICK.

156. - WHACK! - OOH.

157. EXCUSE ME. WHACK, WHACK, WHACK!

158. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

159. BART, I'D LIKE YOU TO READ THIS COPY OF JOHNNY TREMAIN.

160. - IT'S A BOOK I READ AS A GIRL. - A BOOK?

161. I THINK YOU MIGHT LIKE THIS. IT'S ABOUT A BOY WHO GOES TO WAR.

162. IN AN ACCIDENT. - DEFORMED?

163. WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO? "JOHNNY DEFORMED."

164. THE ITCHY AND SCRATCHY SHOW.

165. GUEST DIRECTOR, OLIVER STONE.

166. OH, GOD! GET HIS GUN!

167. "HUNDREDS WOULD DIE, THEY DIED FOR.

168. A MAN CAN STAND UP." WOW!

169. MM-HMM. IF YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT COLONIAL TIMES,

170. TO OLDE SPRINGFIELD TOWNE.

171. D'OH!

172. HI-YAH!

173. DAD! EVERYONE LIKES WHACKING DAY, BUT I HATE IT.

174. WRONG WITH ME? - YES, HONEY.

175. - THEN WHAT SHOULD I DO? INTO A BITTER LITTLE BALL...

176. AT AN APPROPRIATE TIME.

177. WITH A WHISKEY BOTTLE.

178. REMEMBER THAT? YEAH.

179. THE REFEREE? YEAH. YEAH.

180. ANY EXPERIENCE? YES.

181. THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE.

182. SORRY, WE'RE LOOKING FOR MORE OF A "DUH, DUH" IDIOT.

183. BUT— I SEE.

184. HELLO, BARNEY. ARE YOU PLAYING THE TOWN DRUNK?

185. ACTUALLY, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE A GOVERNOR.

186. IF THE CAPTAIN WAS SENT OUT,

187. - THE REST WOULD BE SPARED. - WHAT DID THEY DO?

188. - THEY SENT HIM OUT. - WAS HE KILLED?

189. AND HOW. THAT'S WHY FORT SENSIBLE.

190. AT THE BATTLE OF TICONDEROGA.

191. NEXT. AND HERE HE IS KILLING A SNAKE...

192. WHACKING DAY IN 1775.

193. HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

194. HE WAS AT TICONDEROGA.

195. IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE?

196. UH, UM— YOU SEE—

197. HE'LL BLOW THE WHOLE DEAL. GET HIM OUT OF HERE.

198. ROGER.

199. ABOUT WHACKING DAY,

200. IN OUR GIFT SHOP.

201. WHACKING DAY HEADQUARTERS.

202. I'VE HIDDEN A SNAKE SOMEWHERE IN THE STORE.

203. THE FIRST ONE TO WHACK IT, GETS A FREE SQUISHY.

204. HEY! HEY!

205. I SHOULD'VE PUT MY PROMOTION.

206. AIM FOR THE BODY, MEN. RIGHT, CHIEF.

207. "AND THE LORD SAID, 'WHACK YE WHICH CRAWL ON THEIR BELLIES,

208. A BEACON UNTO OTHERS.'"

209. SO YOU SEE, LISA, EVEN GOD HIMSELF ENDORSES WHACKING DAY.

210. - LET ME SEE THAT. - MMM, NO.

211. HERE YOU GO. OFFICIAL WHACKING DAY PARKING. TEN DOLLARS PER AXLE.

212. WHOO-HOO!

213. TAKE THAT SNAKE! AND YOU TOO!

214. SNAKES, SNAKES EVERYWHERE.

215. FOR WHACKING DAY? WHAT'S WHACKING DAY?

216. THE PRE-WHACKED SNAKES?

217. BEAUTIFUL.

218. WELL, MARGE, SHOULD I WHACK SLOW OR FAST?

219. SLOW, THEN FAST.

220. UH-OH. DAD, PLEASE.

221. FOR THE LAST TIME, I BEG YOU. DON'T LOWER YOURSELF TO THE LEVEL OF THE MOB.

222. LISA, MAYBE IF I'M PART OF THAT MOB, I CAN HELP STEER IT IN WISE DIRECTIONS.

223. NOW, WHERE'S MY GIANT FOAM COWBOY HAT AND AIR HORN?

224. THIS YEAR'S FESTIVITIES,

225. HERE'S OUR GRAND MARSHAL, THE PROPHET OF LOVE, LARRY WHITE.

226. BARRY WHITE. NO. IT SAYS HERE LARRY WHITE.

227. - I KNOW MY OWN NAME. - YEAH? WELL, WE'LL SEE.

228. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY UNLIMITED LOVE TO Y'ALL.

229. IT'S TRULY AN HONOR TO BE HERE AT THIS— HEY, WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT ANYWAY?

230. OH, GOD, NO. YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK.

231. LISTENING TO ME?

232. I, UH, DON'T THINK SO.

233. AND NOW, LET'S HEAR IT FOR OUR OWN MISS SPRINGFIELD.

234. GENTLEMEN, START YOUR WHACKING.

235. D'OH!

236. EW, A BUG!

237. WERE IN HERE, WE COULD PROTECT THEM.

238. WELL, ACCORDING TO THIS, VIBRATIONS IN THE GROUND.

239. SO, IF WE PUT ON THE GROUND...

240. A LOT OF BASS,

241. LIKE OPRAH ON A BAKED HAM.

242. OH, GOOD IDEA. LET'S SEE— BASS, BASS.

243. TINY TIM, THE CHIPMUNKS' GREATEST HITS, A CASTRATO CHRISTMAS.

244. MR. WHITE! FOR A MINUTE?

245. ANYTHING... FOR A LADY.

246. DON'T BOTHER THE SNAKES.

247. LEAVE ALL THE SNAKES... ALONE.

248. MY BABY.

249. HEY, WHERE'D ALL THE SNAKES GO?

250. PEOPLE OF SPRINGFIELD, WHACKING DAY IS A SHAM.

251. IT WAS STARTED IN 1924 BEAT UP THE IRISH.

252. 'TIS TRUE. I TOOK MANY A LUMP. BUT 'TWAS ALL IN GOOD FUN.

253. NOW, WAIT A MINUTE!

254. ALL THEY'VE DONE FOR YOU?

255. I'M AN OLD MAN. MATLOCK. OOH, IT'S ON NOW.

256. MRS. GLICK, WHO KILLED IN YOUR BASEMENT?

257. - A SNAKE DID. - AND YOU LIKE SNAKES, DON'T YOU, BARRY WHITE?

258. OF A LADY SNAKE. OH, BABY.

259. HOORAY FOR SNAKES! HOORAY FOR SNAKES!

260. LOOK AT THIS EVERYONE. TWELVE DEAD SNAKES.

261. I'M SICK OF YOU PEOPLE.

262. YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A PACK OF FICKLE MUSH-HEADS.

263. HE'S RIGHT. GIVE US HELL, QUIMBY.

264. BART, I'M VERY IMPRESSED YOU'VE DISPLAYED HERE.

265. THANKS, SEYMOUR. YE— YES.

266. UM, ANYWAY, YOUR STUDYING,

267. I'VE DECIDED TO TO OUR SCHOOL.

268. YOU'LL BE REUNITED WITH YOUR CHUMS, NELSON, JIMBO, D— OH, DEAR GOD!

269. I GUESS I'VE ALWAYS OF GETTING ATTENTION.

270. YES. YES. ME TOO.

271. OH. AW.

272. FASTER, WILLIE, FASTER. NOW, WE GIVE 'EM THE BIKES, NO ONE SUES.

273. WHAT IF THEY'RE DEAD, SIR?

274. TO MEXICO AND FREEDOM, WILLIE! FREEDOM!

275. FREEDOM. I'LL TURN YOU IN AT THE FIRST TOLLBOOTH.

276. SHH!