The Simpsons 4x18

Directed by Carlos Baeza

An April Fools' Day prank provides the jumping-off point for Simpson family flashbacks.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. D'oh!

2. - Aah!

3. Oh, no. I can't see.

4. I'm blind. Blind!

5. Ha ha!

6. April fool's.

7. Hee... hee...

8. Aah!

9. Ha ha! April fool's.

10. I been keeping that carton of milk

11. next to the furnace for six weeks. Sucker!

12. You're going down, Homer.

13. I'm gonna fool you.

14. You talk better than you fool.

15. I'll fool you up real nice.

16. You couldn't fool your mother

17. on the foolingest day of your life

18. if you had an electrified fooling machine.

19. Pee-yew.

20. Ah, what noble visionary thought up April Fool's day?

21. Like Halloween and Christmas, April Fool's day

22. traces its origins to pagan ritual.

23. God bless those pagans.

24. April first used to be the pagan new year.

25. Blood for Baal! Blood for Baal!

26. Blood for Baal!

27. The Christians changed their calendar

28. and ridiculed those who didn't.

29. Happy New Year!

30. Heigh-ho, pagans.

31. New year's was three months ago, but here's a present any-who.

32. It's ram's blood for your godless ceremony.

33. April Fool's.

34. Now who's laughing?

35. Now who's laughing?

36. And that's the story of April Fool's day.

37. Dad, I was telling the story.

38. Oh, right.

39. Thar she blows.

40. The catch of the day.

41. - Arr. - Arrgh. Arr.

42. Arrgh.

43. Arr.

44. Why, ye mutinous dogs.

45. From this day, I be requiring hairnets.

46. Arr... argh... arr...

47. I've got to fool him before the day is out.

48. But how?

49. He must have a weakness.

50. Ah, beer. My one weakness.

51. My Achilles heel, if you will.

52. Beer! Beer is the cheese.

53. But how to use it...

54. Whoo! It's a good thing

55. that beer wasn't shaken up any more

56. or I'd have looked quite the fool—

57. An April fool, as it were.

58. Hey, kid, that's for customers only.

59. Did you know there's a guy outside

60. handing out free Stridex pads?

61. Wow! I'm in pizza-face paradise.

62. Moron.

63. Ay! No es bueno!

64. So thirsty.

65. Eh! What are you going to do?

66. The following

67. is a public service announcement.

68. Excessive alcohol consumption can cause liver damage

69. and cancer of the rectum.

70. Mmm... beer...

71. April f—

72. That sounded like an explosion

73. at the old Simpson place.

74. Forget it— That's two blocks away.

75. Looks like there's beer coming out of the chimney.

76. I am proceeding on foot.

77. Call in a code eight.

78. We need pretzels. Repeat, pretzels.

79. Mrs. Simpson, I'm afraid your husband is dead.

80. April fool's.

81. He's very much alive.

82. Although I'm afraid he may never walk again.

83. - Homie! - Marge!

84. Homer has many, many horrible problems.

85. These shadows are brain lesions

86. resulting from numerous blows to the head.

87. Ah...

88. Ah!

89. And his brain waves are disturbingly erratic.

90. You are wired into the rest of your family.

91. You have the ability to shock them

92. and they have the ability to shock—

93. Just testing.

94. Whoa!

95. Ah!

96. Bart, how could you shock your little sister?

97. My finger slipped.

98. Ah!

99. So did mine.

100. - Ay! - Ah!

101. Bart, Lisa, stop that.

102. Ah!

103. - Bart! - Whoa!

104. DR. No, no, no.

105. No, wait a minute.

106. Wait, wait.

107. Folks, folks, if I could—

108. This is not the way to get healthy!

109. Mrs. Simpson, can you think of anything

110. to account for all this?

111. I have no idea.

112. Unless it was that time he kept falling down the cliff.

113. I won't jump anymore. I promise.

114. Oh, thank God, thank God, thank God.

115. - I love you, Dad. - I love you, too, son.

116. You know, boy, I don't think

117. I've ever felt this close to you as I do right— Huh?

118. Huh? What? Huh?

119. Ah!

120. D-ah!

121. Ooh!

122. I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make it!

123. This is the greatest thrill of my life.

124. I'm king of the world!

125. Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!

126. I—

127. Ooh! Ow! Ow!

128. Oh! Yee! Yow! Oh!

129. Oh! D'oh! Ooh!

130. Oh! Oh!

131. Yow!

132. Ow! Ow!

133. Ow!

134. Ah!

135. Ooh! Ow! Ow!

136. D'oh! D'oh! Ooh!

137. Ow!

138. Hmm...

139. that still wouldn't explain what I'm seeing here.

140. You look familiar.

141. - Have we met before? Uh...

142. Clear.

143. Clear.

144. Doctor, he's gone.

145. This is the part of the job I hate.

146. You're a veterinarian?

147. That's right. And for an extra $20,

148. I'll give Homer a tick bath and then spay him.

149. - Here you go, Doc. - Bart!

150. Shop around. You can't beat that price.

151. You guys must have been pretty worried about me.

152. Hey, we know you're tough, Dad.

153. Remember that time you got lost in the forest?

154. This is a trap.

155. It's gonna catch us our dinner. C'mon, boy.

156. Shh! Just watch.

157. Ooh...

158. A-ha! Got him.

159. Okay, okay,

160. this time, I'll just go into the bushes over there

161. make a lot of noise, and flush out a rabbit.

162. When he comes out, you step on him.

163. Right, Dad.

164. Ah! Get them off me!

165. Get them off me! Get them off me!

166. It's true— You have good coping skills.

167. Your burgers are getting cold, guys—

168. Holy moley.

169. Ah!

170. Ah!

171. Oh!

172. Huh?

173. And there's one Itchy and Scratchy cartoon

174. I don't think we'll ever forget.

175. Ah!

176. Ah!

177. Why did you bring that up?

178. It was an amusing episode...

179. of our lives.

180. Thanks for coming to visit me, Moe.

181. I brought you a little present.

182. No... no... beer bring pain.

183. I can't stand to see him like this.

184. Ah... ah...

185. He really needs a girlfriend.

186. Oh, Marge, what if I wind up as some vegetable

187. watching TV on the couch?

188. My important work will never be completed.

189. Society's loss, I suppose,

190. but our marriage has been through hard times

191. and we always pull through.

192. Huh? Huh? Huh?

193. Marge!

194. What a lovely surprise.

195. You're here to see me, right?

196. Of course.

197. Hey!

198. Way to go, Homer. Way to go!

199. Hey, what'll I tell the boss?

200. Tell him I'm going to the backseat of my car

201. with the woman I love,

202. and I won't be back for ten minutes.

203. You can do it, Homer. Stand up.

204. I can't.

205. He just won't budge.

206. I've tried everything.

207. Nothing can reach him.

208. Mmm...

209. chocolate.

210. Wow, chocolate, half price.

211. Chocolate...

212. Bah! Bah!

213. Bah!

214. Can't breathe...

215. sweet chocolate...

216. cutting off air...

217. Mmm...

218. nuts.

219. Oh, yeah.

220. Poor Homer.

221. This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.

222. Ah! Kill it!

223. Kill it!

224. Grandpa, please, he's in a coma.

225. Coma?

226. Why, I go in and out of comas all the—

227. French toast, please.

228. Is a coma painful?

229. Oh, heck no.

230. You relive long-lost summers, kiss girls from high school.

231. It's like one of those TV shows

232. where they show a bunch of clips from old episodes.

233. Yeah, well, anyway,

234. I wonder what he's thinking now.

235. This man is costing my health plan $5,000 a day.

236. I demand that he die with dignity.

237. Now, look, I'm the doctor here.

238. Well, I demand a second opinion.

239. Hi, everybody!

240. Hi, Dr. Nick!

241. Oh, dear.

242. I see no signs of life.

243. Just to be safe, we'd better pull the plug.

244. Yoink.

245. Mr. Burns, how can you be so coldhearted?

246. You have no idea, woman, what that man's put me through.

247. Uh, Mr. Burns,

248. I need to borrow some money.

249. Please, do go on.

250. I know you're a good man

251. and I have a dog that's very sick.

252. Oh, please, continue.

253. I thought maybe you—

254. Oh.

255. Well, thanks for your time.

256. I have an unorthodox solution—

257. A fantastic voyage, if you will.

258. Three scientists, one a beautiful woman,

259. will be shrunk to microscopic size.

260. They will then rendezvous in Mr. Simpson's lower colon.

261. Ew!

262. Well, we have had a little trouble finding volunteers.

263. I wish I'd gotten to know you better, Dad,

264. but there were times when we really connected.

265. Hi, Dad.

266. Want me to cut out this infernal racket?

267. Oh, let me hear you play.

268. Why?

269. Does a father have to explain?

270. Let's just share your gift, okay?

271. Oh...

272. Huh?

273. Yeah, that's more like it.

274. Oh-ho! Woo!

275. I wrote this for you, Dad.

276. Dad, I'm so sorry.

277. I know I haven't been a perfect kid.

278. Why, you little—

279. What the— D'oh!

280. I know that I got you mad once in a while.

281. And sometimes, I got into trouble.

282. Bart, you can't go on like this.

283. I know.

284. But you always looked out for me.

285. Homer, it's really coming down.

286. Could you check on the boys?

287. They're fine.

288. And no matter what happens

289. I'll never forget the advice you gave me.

290. Now come on, you're gonna learn how to shave.

291. And finally, the little spot under your nose.

292. Next, we take some toilet paper

293. tear off some teensy little squares

294. and stick one there,

295. and there,

296. and any place you're bleeding.

297. There, and there. Don't worry.

298. The blood will hold it right on your face.

299. Now some after shave.

300. Ooh! Ah! Eeh!

301. Ah! You son of a—!

302. And that's how we shave.

303. Dad, it's all my fault.

304. I shook up that can of beer.

305. It was just an April fool's joke.

306. Why, you little—!

307. Homie, you're all right!

308. We're a family again!

309. This calls for a celebration.

310. We're all going to Hawaii.

311. Gotcha!

312. It's April fool's for two more minutes.

313. Dad, it's May 16th.

314. You were in that coma for seven weeks.

315. Uh-huh.

316. You lost five percent of your brain.

317. Me lose brain? Uh-oh.

318. Why I laugh?

319. Shh!

320. ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.