The Simpsons 4x17

Directed by Mark Kirkland

Joyce Brothers as herself (voice) • Joyce Brothers as Joyce Brothers (voice)

Union president Homer fights to keep the dental plan.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. D'OH!

2. MY FRIENDS!

3. MY MOST DIABOLICAL CREATION.

4. SWANK. THAN MARIJUANA.

5. - OOH! - TO HUMAN MISERY!

6. UH?

7. - NICE TO SEE YOU. - McBAIN!

8. YES.

9. AH, McBAIN, SO GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.

10. HAVE A SALMON PUFF. ALL RIGHT.

11. THAT IS ONE EVIL DUDE.

12. IT'S JUST A MOVIE, SON. THERE'S NOBODY THAT EVIL IN REAL LIFE.

13. SMITHERS, WHERE'S THAT UNION REPRESENTATIVE?

14. HE'S 20 MINUTES LATE.

15. UH, I DON'T KNOW, SIR. HE HASN'T BEEN SEEN SINCE HE PROMISED TO CLEAN UP THE UNION.

16. WHOA! WHAT THE HELL?

17. WELL, LET'S LOOK AT THE CONTRACT OURSELVES, EH?

18. BENEFITS, PERKS, ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY?

19. OH-HO, IT DIDN'T USE TO BE THIS WAY, SMITHERS.

20. NO, IT DIDN'T USE TO BE THIS WAY AT ALL.

21. COME ON, COME ON! CRACK THOSE ATOMS!

22. YOU, TURN OUT THOSE POCKETS!

23. ATOMS.

24. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR— SIX OF THEM!

25. TAKE HIM AWAY!

26. YOU CAN'T TREAT THE WORKINGMAN THIS WAY!

27. ONE DAY, WE'LL FORM A UNION TREATMENT WE DESERVE.

28. THEN WE'LL GO TOO FAR AND GET CORRUPT AND SHIFTLESS,

29. WILL EAT US ALIVE!

30. THE JAPANESE? GOLDFISH TENDERS?

31. BOSH! FLIMSHAW!

32. TO THAT BOY...

33. IN THE ABANDONED COKE OVEN.

34. WELL, I AM GOING TO AVENGE MY GRANDFATHER.

35. WE'LL TAKE ON THAT GREEDY UNION,

36. AND WE'LL GET BACK OUR...

37. DENTAL PLAN.

38. HOW OFTEN DO YOU BRUSH, RALPH? THREE TIMES A DAY, SIR.

39. INTO A HOUSE OF LIES?

40. YOU'RE RIGHT! I DON'T BRUSH! I DON'T BRUSH.

41. LET'S LOOK AT A PICTURE BOOK,

42. OF BRITISH SMILES.

43. THAT'S ENOUGH! THAT'S ENOUGH!

44. DR. WOLFE LIKES TO PULL KIDS' TEETH, SO HE CAN SELL 'EM.

45. - TO WHO? WHEN YOU SHAKE UP SPRAY PAINT?

46. THAT'S A KID'S TOOTH.

47. MAGGIE'S TEETH ARE COMING IN CROOKED.

48. ON A PACIFIER?

49. UH... NOT TO MY KNOWLEDGE. LIAR!

50. I'M ALSO AFRAID LITTLE LISA IS GOING TO NEED BRACES.

51. OH, NO! I'LL BE SOCIALLY UNPOPULAR.

52. MORE SO. ARE YOU SURE, DOCTOR?

53. WELL, JUDGE FOR YOURSELF.

54. HERE'S LISA TODAY.

55. WITHOUT TREATMENT, HERE'S WHAT SHE'LL LOOK LIKE AT AGE 11,

56. AGE 14, AGE 17...

57. AND, FINALLY, AGE 18.

58. COOL! SHE'LL BE A FREAK.

59. BART!

60. WE CAN STICK HER IN A TRAILER, AND CHARGE TWO BITS A GANDER.

61. THE SPRINGFIELD GRAPPLARIUM.

62. TONIGHT, A TEXAS DEATH MATCH— DR. HILLBILLY VERSUS THE IRON YUPPIE!

63. IN THE RING!

64. THAT IRON YUPPIE. THINKS HE'S SO BIG.

65. HOMER, LISA NEEDS BRACES.

66. DON'T WORRY. IN THE STRIKE OF '88.

67. THAT'S WHERE I GOT THIS SCAR.

68. WHAT DO WE WANT? IN THE HANDS OF MANAGEMENT!

69. - WHEN DO WE WANT IT? - SOON!

70. WHERE'S MY BURRITO? WHERE'S MY BURRITO?

71. WHERE'S MY BURRITO? OW!

72. OF A PAY TOILET.

73. WELCOME, BROTHERS OF LOCAL 643.

74. AS YOU KNOW, OUR PRESIDENT, CHUCKY FITZHUGH, AIN'T BEEN SEEN LATELY.

75. WE'RE ALL PRAYING HE'LL TURN UP SOON, ALIVE AND WELL.

76. OH, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. BUT SERIOUSLY, WE HAVE TO VOTE ON BURNS'S NEW CONTRACT.

77. IT'S BASICALLY THE SAME DEAL, OF BEER FOR OUR MEETIN'.

78. YEA!

79. IN EXCHANGE FOR THAT, OUR DENTAL PLAN.

80. SO LONG, DENTAL PLAN!

81. - DENTAL PLAN! - LISA NEEDS BRACES.

82. DENTAL PLAN! LISA NEEDS BRACES.

83. DENTAL PLAN! LISA NEEDS BRACES.

84. DENTAL PLAN! LISA NEEDS BRACES.

85. DENTAL PLAN! LISA NEEDS BRACES.

86. DENTAL PLAN! LISA NEEDS BRACES.

87. BULL'S-EYE!

88. THANKS A LOT, CARL. NOW I'VE LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT.

89. DENTAL PLAN! LISA NEEDS BRACES.

90. DENTAL PLAN! LISA NEEDS BRACES.

91. OUR DENTAL PLAN,

92. I'LL HAVE TO PAY FOR LISA'S BRACES!

93. PEOPLE, STOP! WE CAN'T GIVE UP OUR DENTAL PLAN!

94. LENNY, WITHOUT THAT DENTAL PLAN, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THAT DIAMOND IN YOUR TOOTH.

95. YOINK! HEY!

96. AND, GUMMY JOE, WITHOUT THAT DENTAL PLAN?

97. WELL, I WOULDN'T HAVE OLD CHOMPER HERE, THAT'S FOR SURE.

98. OF THIS CONTRACT?

99. THIS!

100. YEAH!

101. WHO IS THAT FIREBRAND, SMITHERS? THAT'S HOMER SIMPSON, SIR.

102. SIMPSON, EH? NEW MAN?

103. ACTUALLY, SIR, HE THWARTED YOUR CAMPAIGN FOR GOVERNOR,

104. YOU RAN OVER HIS SON, FROM MELTDOWN,

105. EH, DOESN'T RING A BELL.

106. HOMER! HOMER! HOMER!

107. BE OUR NEW UNION PRESIDENT.

108. - ALL IN FAVOR? - AYE!

109. - ALL OPPOSED? - NAY.

110. CONGRATULATIONS, HOMER.

111. HEY, WHAT DOES THIS JOB PAY? NOTHIN'.

112. D'OH! UNLESS YOU'RE CROOKED.

113. WHOO-HOO!

114. PRESIDENT OF THE UNION? I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, HOMIE.

115. FOR THE WORKINGMAN.

116. TO THE WORLD OF ORGANIZED CRIME.

117. HMM. ORGANIZED CRIME.

118. DON HOMER, I HAVE BAKED JUST FOR YOU.

119. MMM. GRAZIE.

120. DON HOMER, MY SON,

121. EH-EH-EH-EH-EH.

122. MOLTO BENE.

123. THAT'S A NICE A-DONUT.

124. THE DENTAL PLAN BACK?

125. WELL, THAT DEPENDS ON WHO'S A BETTER NEGOTIATOR— MR. BURNS OR ME.

126. DAD, I'LL TRADE YOU FOR YOUR CRUMMY OLD DANISH.

127. DONE AND DONE!

128. D'OH!

129. LISA AND MARGE, THESE BRACES ARE INVISIBLE, PAINLESS...

130. A DELIGHTFUL BURST...

131. OF CALVIN KLEIN'S OBSESSION FOR TEETH.

132. HMM!

133. DOCTOR, WE DON'T HAVE A DENTAL PLAN RIGHT NOW,

134. SO WE'LL NEED SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE... AFFORDABLE.

135. STAINLESS STEEL,

136. SO YOU CAN'T GET THEM WET.

137. HMM, HE'S A WORTHY FOE. LOOK AT HIM, SMITHERS.

138. AT THE CANDY MACHINE.

139. HEY, LENNY, CAN YOU GET THIS SUGAR DADDY OFF MY BACK?

140. OKAY, BUT IT'S THE LAST TIME.

141. MMM!

142. WE DON'T HAVE TO BE ADVERSARIES, HOMER.

143. UNION CONTRACT.

144. WHY IS MR. BURNS BEING SO NICE TO ME?

145. AND IF YOU'LL SCRATCH MY BACK, I'LL SCRATCH YOURS.

146. WAIT A MINUTE. IS HE COMING ON TO ME?

147. I MEAN, IF I SHOULD SLIP SOMETHING INTO YOUR POCKET, WHAT'S THE HARM?

148. OH, MY GOD! HE IS COMING ON TO ME.

149. AFTER ALL, NEGOTIATIONS MAKE STRANGE BEDFELLOWS.

150. SORRY, MR. BURNS, BUT I DON'T GO IN FOR THESE BACKDOOR SHENANIGANS.

151. SURE, I'M FLATTERED, MAYBE EVEN A LITTLE CURIOUS, BUT THE ANSWER IS NO.

152. LISA, SO YOU WON'T BE SCARED,

153. I'LL SHOW YOU I'LL BE USING.

154. THIS IS THE SCRAPER, THIS IS THE POKER...

155. IS THE GOUGER.

156. NOW, THE FIRST THING I'LL BE DOING...

157. OUT OF YOUR JAWBONE.

158. WHILE I GAS YOU.

159. LOOK, FELLAS! IT'S LISA IN THE SKY!

160. - NO DIAMONDS THOUGH. DRAWING OF QUEEN VICTORIA!

161. OH, NO!

162. GOD, HELP US! HELP US.

163. THE MIRROR.

164. THE MIRROR!

165. HONEY, YOU LOOK FINE.

166. WHO IS IT?

167. GOONS. WHO?

168. HIRED GOONS. HIRED GOONS?

169. AH, HOMER, DIDN'T HURT YOU.

170. YOU KNOW, YOU COULD HAVE JUST CALLED ME.

171. OH, YES, BUT THE TELEPHONE IS SO IMPERSONAL.

172. YOU ONLY GET WITH HIRED GOONS.

173. HIRED GOONS?

174. IN THE FREE WORLD.

175. ¡AY, UN GATO MALODORO!

176. TYPEWRITERS.

177. SOON, THEY'LL HAVE WRITTEN THE GREATEST NOVEL KNOWN TO MAN.

178. LET'S SEE.

179. "IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES, IT WAS THE 'BLURST' OF TIMES"?

180. YOU STUPID MONKEY!

181. OH, SHUT UP.

182. AND THIS IS MY BASEMENT. GEE, IT'S NOT AS NICE AS THE OTHER ROOMS.

183. YES, I REALLY SHOULD STOP ENDING THE TOUR WITH IT.

184. - NOW, LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS. - OH, MAN!

185. I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

186. AND COFFEE AND WATERMELON?

187. NOW, HOMER, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, AND I WANT TO TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF.

188. IT DOESN'T TAKE A WHIZ TO SEE THAT YOU'RE LOOKING OUT FOR NUMBER ONE.

189. WELL, LISTEN TO ME, AND YOU'LL MAKE A BIG SPLASH VERY SOON.

190. - OH! WHICH WAY TO THE BATHROOM? - OH, IT'S THE 23rd DOOR ON THE LEFT.

191. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE.

192. HE WOULDN'T EVEN HEAR ME OUT.

193. ALL RIGHT?

194. UH... YEAH.

195. WELL, YOU'VE WON THIS ROUND, SIMPSON,

196. BUT I'LL GRIND YOU INTO THE EARTH LIKE A BUG!

197. AAH! OHH!

198. SIMPSON, BE A DEAR THE FEELING COMES BACK.

199. A BUG, I TELL YOU! A BUG!

200. I'M GONNA RESIGN.

201. I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY IN THE FIRST PLACE.

202. DOWN AT THE PLANT.

203. YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

204. MY BALD HEAD FOR LUCK,

205. PINCHIN' MY BELLY TO HEAR MY GIRLISH LAUGH.

206. HMM. THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE THEY LIKE YOU AT ALL.

207. YOU'RE RIGHT. FIRST THING TOMORROW, I'M GONNA PUNCH LENNY IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD.

208. BATTEN DOWN THOSE COWLICKS. STRAIGHTEN THAT PART.

209. UNCROSS THOSE EYES, MISTER.

210. - BUT I CAN'T! - OH, SORRY, QUIGLEY.

211. COME ON, HONEY. SMILE!

212. I BET YOU'VE GOT A BEAUTIFUL SMILE.

213. WHY DON'T YOU SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD?

214. THERE IS NO GOD!

215. FELLOW WORKERS, I'VE BEEN MEETING WITH MR. BURNS DAY AND NIGHT, AND I'VE HAD ENOUGH.

216. STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!

217. - ALL IN FAVOR OF A STRIKE? - AYE!

218. - ALL OPPOSED? - NAY.

219. WHO KEEPS SAYING THAT?

220. IT WAS HIM. LET'S GET HIM, FELLAS.

221. AHH, THIS IS THE LIFE.

222. SMITHERS, GET ME SOME STRIKEBREAKERS, THE KIND THEY HAD IN THE '30s.

223. WE CAN'T BUST HEADS LIKE WE USED TO,

224. BUT WE HAVE OUR WAYS.

225. THAT DON'T GO ANYWHERE,

226. OVER TO SHELBYVILLE.

227. FOR MY SHOE,

228. TO MORGANVILLE,

229. IN THOSE DAYS.

230. TO MY BELT,

231. AT THE TIME.

232. NOW, TO TAKE THE FERRY COST A NICKEL.

233. AND IN THOSE DAYS, OF BUMBLEBEES ON 'EM.

234. "GIVE ME FIVE BEES FOR A QUARTER," YOU'D SAY.

235. NOW, WHERE WERE WE? OH, YEAH!

236. ON MY BELT,

237. AT THE TIME.

238. THEY DIDN'T HAVE WHITE ONIONS BECAUSE OF THE WAR.

239. WAS THOSE BIG YELLOW ONES.

240. FULL POWER, SMITHERS.

241. NOW DO "CLASSICAL GAS."

242. OOH, LOOK AT HIM HE'S COCK OF THE WALK.

243. WELL, LET ME TELL YOU, IS COCK OF NOTHING!

244. - HMM? - WHY, YOU AND I CAN RUN THIS PLANT OURSELVES.

245. CRUSH! KILL! DESTROY!

246. TONIGHT ON SMARTLINE,

247. ARGLE-BARGLE OR FOOFARAW?

248. ARE PLANT OWNER C.M. BURNS,

249. HOMER SIMPSON...

250. DR. JOYCE BROTHERS.

251. - I BROUGHT MY OWN MIKE! - YES. WELL.

252. HOMER, ORGANIZED LABOR A LUMBERING DINOSAUR.

253. NOT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE.

254. - WHOO-HOO! - MR. BURNS, YOU MENTIONED YOU WANTED AN OPENING TIRADE.

255. YES, THANK YOU, KENT.

256. FIFTEEN MINUTES FROM NOW, VENGEANCE ON THIS CITY!

257. NO ONE WILL BE SPARED! NO ONE!

258. OF THINGS TO COME.

259. OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE!

260. GOOD-BYE, SPRINGFIELD!

261. FROM HELL'S HEART, I STAB AT THEE!

262. LOOK AT THEM ALL, I'M BRINGING.

263. THEY'RE NOT SAD AT ALL. THEY'RE ACTUALLY SINGING!

264. THEY SING WITHOUT JUICERS.

265. THEY SING WITHOUT BLENDERS.

266. THEY SING WITHOUT FLUNJERS, CAPDABBLERS AND SMENDLERS!

267. OOH! TELL SIMPSON I'M READY TO DEAL.

268. ALL RIGHT, HOMER, YOU CAN HAVE THE DENTAL PLAN...

269. AS HEAD OF THE UNION.

270. WHOO-HOO!

271. SMITHERS, I'M BEGINNING TO THINK THAT HOMER SIMPSON...

272. I THOUGHT HE WAS.

273. WE'RE GOING BACK TO WORK!

274. YEA!

275. OH, HONEY, YOUR NEW BRACES!

276. AND THAT'S THE TOOTH!

277. OOPS. I LEFT THE GAS ON.

278. SHH!