The Simpsons 4x11

Directed by David Silverman

Homer sees a discount doctor for a coronary bypass.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. D'OH!

2. IN SPRINGFIELD.

3. ALL RIGHT, BOYS, TIME TO BAG US A CATTLE RUSTLER.

4. WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING?

5. ISN'T THIS 742 EVERGREEN TERRACE?

6. NO, THAT'S NEXT DOOR.

7. CLOSE, BUT NO DOUGHNUT, COPS.

8. THIS IS PAPA BEAR. PUT OUT AN A.P.B. FOR A MALE SUSPECT...

9. DRIVING A... CAR OF SOME SORT,

10. THE DIRECTION OF, UH,

11. YOU KNOW, THAT PLACE THAT SELLS CHILI.

12. SUSPECT IS HATLESS. REPEAT, HATLESS.

13. I CAN'T WAIT TILL THEY THROW HIS HATLESS BUTT IN JAIL.

14. HONEY, YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T EAT SO MUCH IN BED.

15. IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOUR HEART.

16. HOMIE, WHAT IS IT? JUST WORKIN' THE TURKEY THROUGH.

17. THERE IT GOES!

18. HEY, LISE, THERE WAS A BIG TRAIN WRECK LAST NIGHT. DO YOU WANNA SEE THE VICTIMS?

19. - HMM, OKAY. - YAAH!

20. BART, THAT'S GROSS! YOU'RE RIGHT. LET'S BURY THEM AT SEA. BLEAH!

21. DA-A-D!

22. WHAT'S WRONG? THAT FEELING YOU GET...

23. STABBING YOU IN THE HEART?

24. I GOT THAT RIGHT NOW.

25. OOH! BACON!

26. HOMER, I PREPARED A SPECIAL SURPRISE JUST FOR YOU.

27. IT COULD ONLY BE ONE THING.

28. PSST! THE BEST MEAT'S IN THE RUMP.

29. HERE YOU GO. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

30. NICE, HEALTHY OATMEAL. OOH, OATMEAL.

31. WHAT A DELIGHTFUL TREAT. OH, THERE'S A BUG IN IT.

32. NO, THERE ISN'T. TRUST ME.

33. DAD, THERE'S A BUG ON THAT.

34. EH.

35. COME ON, COME ON!

36. OH, DEAR. NOW YOU'VE DONE IT.

37. IRREGULAR THUMPING NOISE.

38. IT'S YOUR HEART. AND I THINK IT'S ON ITS LAST THUMP.

39. WHEW! I WAS AFRAID IT WAS MY TRANSMISSION.

40. HEY, WHERE'S HE GOIN'?

41. BILLY, REMEMBER WE JUST COULDN'T FIX?

42. WE'RE GONNA SELL HIM TO MR. NIKAPOPOLUS? YOU'RE A DULL BOY, BILLY.

43. WITH DOUGHNUTS ON MY TIME!

44. THAT'S RIGHT. KEEP EATING.

45. YOU'RE DRAWING EVER CLOSER TO THE POISONED DOUGHNUT.

46. ISN'T THERE, SMITHERS?

47. UH, NO, SIR. I DISCUSSED THIS WITH OUR LAWYERS. THEY CONSIDER IT MURDER.

48. DAMN THEIR OILY HIDES!

49. BRING HIM TO ME!

50. RELAX, SIMPSON.

51. FOR A FRIENDLY HELLO.

52. AND GOOD-BYE! YOU'RE FIRED!

53. BUT WAIT.

54. PERHAPS I'M BEING TOO HASTY.

55. YOU ARE HIGHLY SKILLED...

56. AT GOOFING OFF!

57. NOW, DON'T WORRY, HOMER. YOU'RE THE KIND OF GUY I COULD REALLY DIG...

58. A GRAVE FOR!

59. IS INEFFICACIOUS!

60. OH?

61. THAT MEANS YOU'RE TERRIBLE!

62. HMM?

63. MR. BURNS, I THINK HE'S DEAD.

64. OH, DEAR. SEND A HAM TO HIS WIDOW.

65. MMM. HAM.

66. NO, WAIT. HE'S ALIVE.

67. - OH, GOOD. CANCEL THE HAM. - D'OH!

68. WOW, LOOK AT THAT. HOW DO THEY KNOW TO CROSS THERE?

69. I'M TELLING YOU. IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK.

70. SEE?

71. HE WAS TAKING A BITE, AND HIS JAW LOCKED.

72. HEY, LOOK. I CAN FIT MY ENTIRE FIST IN HERE.

73. HEY, HEY, HEY. CUT IT OUT.

74. WHAT'S THAT, CHIEF? CUT IT OUT.

75. OOH. BUY THREE TUBES OF MR. BLISTER,

76. GET ONE FREE.

77. HELLO. YES.

78. OH, DEAR LORD!

79. HOMER'S IN THE HOSPITAL! THEY THINK IT'S HIS HEART!

80. OH, MY GOD.

81. WHAT? WAX PAPER.

82. CLEAR!

83. MORE.

84. THANK YOU.

85. OH, HOMIE, I WAS SO FRIGHTENED!

86. MARGE, MY WHOLE LIFE FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES.

87. AH, LITTLE HOMER.

88. HOW'D HE GET THAT?

89. WHAT A VOICE. YOUNG HOMER IS GOING TO MAKE ME A MILLIONAIRE.

90. HEY, MY VOICE JUST CHANGED.

91. MR. SIMPSON, I'M AFRAID YOU'VE JUST HAD A MILD HEART ATTACK.

92. BUT I'M OUT OF THE WOODS NOW, RIGHT?

93. I MEAN, WHATEVER DOESN'T KILL ME CAN ONLY MAKE ME STRONGER.

94. OH, NO. QUITE THE OPPOSITE.

95. IT'S MADE YOU WEAK AS A KITTEN.

96. LOOK! HEY, COME ON. QUIT IT.

97. COOCHY COOCHY COO! STOP. PLEASE STOP.

98. OH, YOU SWING LIKE A GIRL. COME ON, NOW.

99. PLEASE HAVE MERCY. GOT YOUR NOSE.

100. NOT FUNNY.

101. HOW 'BOUT THIS LITTLE BEE?

102. NO! OH!

103. HIPPOPOTAMUS OATH.

104. - CAN'T YOU DO SOMETHING FOR HIM? - WELL, WE CAN'T FIX HIS HEART,

105. EXACTLY HOW DAMAGED IT IS.

106. WHAT AN AGE WE LIVE IN!

107. NOW, WHAT YOU SEE HERE WE INJECTED...

108. YOUR HUSBAND'S CIRCULATORY SYSTEM.

109. BUT, DOCTOR, I HAVEN'T INJECTED THE DYE YET!

110. - GOOD LORD. - HI.

111. NOW, HOMER, THIS IS A NEW BODY FAT ANALYSIS TEST.

112. IT TAKES TO STOP.

113. WHOO-HOO! LOOK AT THAT BLUBBER FLY!

114. YES.

115. NURSE, CANCEL MY 1:00.

116. HOMER, I'M AFRAID YOU'LL HAVE TO UNDERGO A CORONARY BYPASS OPERATION.

117. - SAY IT IN ENGLISH, DOC. - YOU'RE GOING TO NEED OPEN-HEART SURGERY.

118. MUMBO JUMBO.

119. WE'RE GOING TO WITH YOUR TICKER.

120. COULD YOU DUMB IT DOWN A SHADE? DOCTOR, WE'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET MY HOMIE WELL.

121. GOOD. I MUST WARN YOU THOUGH.

122. UPWARDS OF... $30,000.

123. I'M AFRAID IT'S NOW 40,000.

124. OKAY, OKAY. WE NEED $40,000. NOW, HOW MUCH DO WE HAVE IN THE CHECKBOOK?

125. - SEVENTY DOLLARS. - HMM.

126. ANY $40,000 CHECKS THAT HAVEN'T CLEARED YET?

127. NO. DON'T YOU HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE AT WORK?

128. WELL, ACTUALLY, WE GAVE IT IN THE LOUNGE.

129. - D'OH! - DON'T WORRY, MARGE.

130. AMERICA'S HEALTH CARE SYSTEM IS SECOND ONLY TO JAPAN,

131. CANADA, SWEDEN, WELL, ALL OF EUROPE.

132. WE DON'T LIVE IN PARAGUAY.

133. NOW, BEFORE WE GIVE YOU HEALTH INSURANCE, I HAVE TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS.

134. QUESTIONS? QUESTIONS? OH!

135. I MEAN, ASK AWAY.

136. OH, GOOD. NOW, UNDER "HEART ATTACKS,"

137. YOU CROSSED OUT "3" AND WROTE "0."

138. OH, I THOUGHT THAT SAID "BRAIN HEMORRHAGES."

139. UH-HUH. AND, UH, DO YOU DRINK?

140. OF PORT AT CHRISTMAS.

141. ALL RIGHT. HERE'S YOUR POLICY.

142. NOW LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MR. SUCKER. I JUST—

143. OH, HOLD ON THERE. UH, YOU STILL HAVE TO SIGN IT.

144. OH. I—

145. MUST... SIGN... POLICY!

146. SIR, I'M SORRY. WE CAN'T INSURE YOU.

147. I MADE AN "H." NO, THAT DOESN'T COUNT.

148. IT'S LIKE AN "X."

149. HEY, WE'D BETTER GET YOU TO A HOSPITAL.

150. CAN I HAVE A FREE CALENDAR? OKAY.

151. CLEAR!

152. OH, DOCTOR, I WAS IN WITH FIRE AND BRIMSTONE.

153. PITCHFORKS IN MY BUTT.

154. MR. SIMPSON, YOU MUST AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

155. I CAN'T AFFORD IT. ONE OF THOSE MACHINES.

156. OH, YEAH. THAT'S THE STUFF.

157. NOW, I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN THE BEST CHRISTIAN.

158. IN FACT, WHEN YOU'RE UP THERE "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH-ING,"

159. I'M USUALLY DOODLING THE FEMALE PARISHIONERS.

160. WELL, ANYHOO, CAN I HAVE $40,000?

161. NOW, I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN THE BEST JEW,

162. FIDDLER ON THE ROOF, AND I WILL WATCH IT.

163. ANYWAY, CAN I HAVE $40,000? HMM?

164. NOW, I KNOW I HAVEN'T OH, FORGET IT.

165. HONEY, DID YOU HAVE ANY LUCK? NO, BUT THE RABBI GAVE ME THIS.

166. WHAT IS IT, DAD? SON, THEY CALL IT A "DROODLE."

167. WHOO-HOO! LOOK AT IT GO!

168. HI, EVERYBODY! TO SLASH THE COST...

169. OF YOUR MEDICAL EXPENSES?

170. BORING! WAIT! THIS MIGHT BE THE ANSWER WE'RE LOOKING FOR.

171. FOR 129.95.

172. COME IN FOR BRAIN SURGERY...

173. CHINESE FINGER TRAP.

174. OKAY, FRIEND. YOU TRIED THE BEST. NOW TRY THE REST.

175. CALL 1-600-DOCTORB.

176. THE "B" IS FOR "BARGAIN"!

177. WELL, MARGE, WE COULD DO WORSE.

178. HOW? UH, SOME DOG COULD DO THE OPERATION.

179. OPERATION? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

180. KIDS, I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.

181. OH, HOMIE, I DON'T KNOW. THIS MIGHT UPSET THEM.

182. NOTHING YOU SAY CAN UPSET US. WE'RE THE MTV GENERATION.

183. HIGHS NOR LOWS. - REALLY? WHAT'S IT LIKE?

184. - EH. - WELL, YOU KIDS ARE OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW THE TRUTH,

185. AND I'M NOT GONNA SUGARCOAT IT.

186. WILL TAKE MR. LEG VEIN ON A LONG TRIP...

187. PRINCESS LEFT VENTRICLE.

188. DAD, ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL US YOU'RE GETTING A CORONARY ARTERY BYPASS GRAFT?

189. UH, YEAH. OH, NO.

190. WHAT IF THEY BOTCH IT? I WON'T HAVE A DAD... FOR A WHILE.

191. KIDS. KIDS. I'M NOT GONNA DIE.

192. TO BAD PEOPLE. WHAT ABOUT ABRAHAM LINCOLN?

193. TO SCHOOLCHILDREN.

194. - HOMER! - HEY, I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE IT EASIER ON 'EM.

195. BED GOES UP. BED GOES DOWN. BED GOES UP. BED GOES DOWN.

196. BED GOES UP. BED GOES DOWN.

197. BED GOES UP. BED GOES DOWN. HOMER SIMPSON!

198. WELL, IF THAT DON'T PUT THE "DINK" IN CO-INKY-DINK.

199. FLANDERS, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?

200. I'M HAVING A KIDNEY AND A LUNG REMOVED.

201. - WHO ARE YOU DONATING 'EM TO? - FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE. WHAT ARE YOU IN FOR?

202. - I GOT A BAD HEART. MY HEART, HOMER, I WOULD.

203. SHUT UP, FLANDERS.

204. HI, EVERYBODY! I'M DR. NICK RIVIERA.

205. DR. RIVIERA. DR. NICK RIVIERA. THE CORONER IMMEDIATELY.

206. THE CORONER? I'M SO SICK OF THAT GUY.

207. WELL, SEE YOU IN THE OPERATING PLACE.

208. WHERE ARE THE BODIES?

209. OH, SUCH A NICE DAY. I THINK I'LL GO OUT THE WINDOW.

210. HO!

211. DEAR LORD, THANK YOU FOR ZIGGY COMICS, LITTLE BABY DUCKS,

212. AND SWEATIN' TO THE OLDIES, VOLUMES ONE, TWO AND FOUR.

213. DEAR LORD, I'M REALLY SCARED ABOUT THIS OPERATION TOMORROW.

214. IF SOMETHING HAPPENS, PLEASE LOOK AFTER MARGE...

215. MY KIDS GROW UP RIGHT. SHH!

216. SORRY.

217. AND THAT'S WHY GOD CAUSES TRAIN WRECKS. AH!

218. MY DAD IS VERY SICK. WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IF HE DIES?

219. WELL, IF HE'S BEEN GOOD, HE'LL GO TO HEAVEN.

220. IN HEAVEN, YOU GET TO DO ALL THE TIME.

221. CLOUD GOES UP. CLOUD GOES DOWN.

222. CLOUD GOES UP. CLOUD GOES DOWN.

223. BED GOES UP. BED GOES DOWN.

224. HEY, HEY!

225. HEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

226. OH, THAT'S RIGHT. MY GROTESQUE APPEARANCE.

227. - KRUSTY, WHY ARE YOU HERE? - EH, IT'S PART OF MY PUBLIC SERVICE...

228. FOR MY GLUG-GLUG, VROOM-VROOM, THUMP-THUMP.

229. OH. WELL, I COULD USE A GOOD LAUGH.

230. WELL, THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO GO THROUGH.

231. I KNOW. I'M IN THE ZIPPER CLUB MYSELF.

232. AHH! YOU SEEM OKAY.

233. YEAH? WELL, I GOT NEWS FOR YA. THIS AIN'T MAKEUP.

234. WHEN A FATHER OUTLIVES HIS SON.

235. I'VE NEVER FULLY UNDERSTOOD WHY THAT IS.

236. FRANKLY, I CAN SEE AN UPSIDE TO IT.

237. AT WORK.

238. GEE, THANKS, GUYS. REPLACING YA.

239. ABOUT THE OPERATION, I WAS AGAINST IT.

240. BUT THEN I THOUGHT, IF HOMER WANTS TO BE A WOMAN, SO BE IT.

241. BARNEY, I'M NOT GETTING A SEX CHANGE!

242. WHAT? WELL, WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO...

243. WITH THIS JUMBO THONG BIKINI?

244. UH, HOMER, FOR OLD TIMES' SAKE.

245. THANKS, MOE.

246. UH, YOU KNOW, HOMER, THAT BEER AIN'T FREE.

247. MOM, THIS IS FASCINATING.

248. THEY'LL STOP DAD'S HEART FOR SIX WHOLE MINUTES?

249. I DON'T KNOW ALL THOSE CARDIOLOGY BOOKS.

250. NO, MOM. IT'S VERY REASSURING.

251. AND I'VE LEARNED A GREAT DEAL FROM THIS COW'S HEART I GOT AT THE BUTCHER SHOP.

252. INSERT THE RETRACTOR...

253. LIKE A RUSTY DRAWBRIDGE.

254. AH! NO! BLOOD! UGH!

255. NEXT, MAKE AN INCISION

256. PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE THINGS.

257. OH, NO! NO! THE END OF THIS!

258. WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT.

259. NOW AND THEN?

260. YES, AND A NEW CA— NO!

261. OH, MY LITTLE MAGGIE.

262. I MAY NEVER HOLD YOU AGAIN. EW! STINKY PANTS!

263. NOW, MARGE, IF THE UNTHINKABLE SHOULD HAPPEN, YOU'RE GONNA BE LONELY—

264. - OH, HOMIE, I COULD NEVER REMARRY. - DARN RIGHT.

265. AND TO MAKE SURE, AND PUT ON THE COUCH...

266. OF OUR MARITAL VOWS. OHH. KIDS?

267. YOU CAN COME IN NOW.

268. KIDS,

269. IN CASE SOMETHING HAPPENS.

270. LET'S SEE. UH—

271. OH, I'M NO GOOD AT THIS.

272. BART, THE SADDEST THING ABOUT THIS IS I WON'T GET TO SEE YOU GROW UP, BECAUSE—

273. I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA TURN OUT GREAT, WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR OLD MAN.

274. - THANKS, DAD.

275. YOU'RE ADOPTED AND I DON'T LIKE YOU.

276. BART!

277. BUT DON'T WORRY, BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT A BIG BROTHER WHO LOVES YOU...

278. LOOK OUT FOR YOU.

279. OH, DAD.

280. - HI, EVERYBODY! - HI, DR. NICK!

281. NOW, IF SOMETHING SHOULD GO WRONG,

282. LET'S NOT GET THE LAW INVOLVED.

283. ONE HAND WASHES THE OTHER. OOH, THAT REMINDS ME.

284. WITH MY TOILET BRUSH.

285. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

286. MARGE, THIS IS ANDRE.

287. HELLO.

288. A LOVELY COUPLE.

289. MY HUSBAND IS STILL ALIVE!

290. OH. THANK GOD. I HOPE HE PULLS THROUGH.

291. NOT ME.

292. LET'S HAVE A MINUTE OF SILENT PRAYER...

293. FOR OUR GOOD FRIEND, HOMER SIMPSON.

294. - HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN? - SIX SECONDS.

295. - DO WE HAVE TO START OVER? - HELL, NO.

296. POOR MR. HOMER. THAT MY SNACK TREATS...

297. FOR HIS WRETCHED HEALTH? GIMME SOME JERKY.

298. SOME VODKA WITH THAT? OH, WHAT THE HELL. SURE.

299. DOCTOR, WHAT'S WRONG? DON'T YOU KNOW WHERE TO MAKE THE INCISION?

300. ALL RIGHT, NICK. DON'T PANIC.

301. THINK BACK TO MED SCHOOL.

302. SERIOUSLY, BABY. ANYTHING I WANT.

303. I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO CUT SOMETHING, BUT WHAT? AND WHERE?

304. HEY! THE INCISION IN THE CORONARY ARTERY...

305. BELOW THE BLOCKAGE!

306. BELOW! THANKS, LITTLE GIRL!

307. UH-OH.

308. GOOD NEWS! A COMPLETE SUCCESS.

309. OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL! MMM!

310. HMM.

311. DR. NICK RIVIERA, REMEMBER ME?

312. WELL IF IT ISN'T MY OLD FRIEND MR. McGREG,

313. AND AN ARM FOR A LEG.

314. ALL RIGHT, DAD!

315. INTENSIVE CARE!

316. SHH!