1. D'Copy !req
2. Aah!Copy !req
3. Hello, I'm Kent Brockman,Copy !req
4. and this is
"Eye on Springfield."Copy !req
5. Wow. Info-tainment.Copy !req
6. Tonight we salute
the silver anniversaryCopy !req
7. of The Great Springfield
Tire Yard Fire,Copy !req
8. 25 years
and still burning strong.Copy !req
9. We watch
Springfield's oldest manCopy !req
10. meet Springfield's fattest man.Copy !req
11. He's not so fat.Copy !req
12. And we visit with
heavyweight champion Dredrick TatumCopy !req
13. who reminisces about
growing up in Springfield.Copy !req
14. That town was a dump.Copy !req
15. If you ever see me back there,Copy !req
16. you know I really up bad.Copy !req
17. But first, part seven
of our eye-opening lookCopy !req
18. at the bikini.Copy !req
19. Whoa... T and A!Copy !req
20. Bart, why are you still up?Copy !req
21. Lisa's slumber party.Copy !req
22. Who can sleep
with those five evil hensCopy !req
23. cackling
and plotting against me?Copy !req
24. Boy, they've got better things
to talk about than you.Copy !req
25. Sheesh, what an ego.Copy !req
26. Lisa, your brother is so gross.Copy !req
27. You should smell his room.Copy !req
28. Now remember, Wanda,
whatever shape the wax takesCopy !req
29. that's what your
husband's job will be.Copy !req
30. It's a mop.Copy !req
31. My husband will be a janitor.Copy !req
32. That looks like
an Olympic torch to me.Copy !req
33. Your husband could be
an Olympic athleteCopy !req
34. who will go on to have
a great acting career.Copy !req
35. It's a dustpan.Copy !req
36. The wax never lies.Copy !req
37. Let's play Truth or Dare.Copy !req
38. Truth or Dare!
Truth or Dare!Copy !req
39. I'll take... dare.Copy !req
40. I dare you to...Copy !req
41. kiss Lisa's brother.Copy !req
42. Eww!Copy !req
43. What the...?Copy !req
44. Aaaaahh!Copy !req
45. I'm telling Mom and Dad.Copy !req
46. - You're telling who?
- Mom and Dad.Copy !req
47. Jinx!Copy !req
48. Now you can't talk till
somebody says your name.Copy !req
49. Coming up next: an elephant
who never forgets...Copy !req
50. to brush!Copy !req
51. What is it, boy?Copy !req
52. Is anything the matter, my son?Copy !req
53. Talk to me, young man.Copy !req
54. Say your name?Copy !req
55. Why should I do that, my lad?Copy !req
56. Because I'm jinxed, damn it!Copy !req
57. What was that for?Copy !req
58. You spoke while you were jinxedCopy !req
59. so I get to
punch you in the arm.Copy !req
60. Sorry, it's the law.Copy !req
61. There he is.Copy !req
62. Let's give him a make-over.Copy !req
63. Run for it, boy!Copy !req
64. Aaaaahh!Copy !req
65. Oof!Copy !req
66. Come here, Maggie.Copy !req
67. That's it, I'm out of here.Copy !req
68. Hiya, Homer.Copy !req
69. What's the matter, Moe?Copy !req
70. Business is slow.Copy !req
71. People today are healthier
and drinking less.Copy !req
72. You know, if it wasn't for
the junior high school next doorCopy !req
73. no one would even use
the cigarette machine.Copy !req
74. Yeah, things are tough all over.Copy !req
75. Increased job satisfaction
and family togethernessCopy !req
76. are poison for a purveyor of
mind-numbing intoxicants like myself.Copy !req
77. - Can I get a beer?
- Yeah, sure.Copy !req
78. Sorry. I forgot
we're out of beer.Copy !req
79. - Aahh!
- I know.Copy !req
80. I got behind
on my beer payments.Copy !req
81. The distributor cut me offCopy !req
82. and I spent my last ten grand
on the Love Tester.Copy !req
83. You're too late, Homer.Copy !req
84. Barney sucked it dry.Copy !req
85. Cut his gums up pretty bad.Copy !req
86. Take it easy, Homer.Copy !req
87. I learned how to make other
drinks at Bartender school.Copy !req
88. Gin and... tonic?Copy !req
89. Do they mix?Copy !req
90. Hey, I know a good drink.Copy !req
91. Really hits the spot.Copy !req
92. I invented it myself.Copy !req
93. One night,
Marge's beastly sistersCopy !req
94. were showing slides
from their latest vacation.Copy !req
95. And this is PattyCopy !req
96. trying to plug her leg razorCopy !req
97. into one of those ungodly
Czechoslovakian outlets.Copy !req
98. As you can see, we
never did get the hang of it.Copy !req
99. Ay, caramba!Copy !req
100. As I stared up at that
hairy yellow drumstickCopy !req
101. I knew I needed a drink.Copy !req
102. Patty, Selma, would you
excuse me for a moment?Copy !req
103. If you're going for a beer,
this is the last one.Copy !req
104. D'Copy !req
105. I decided to mixCopy !req
106. the little bits that were
left in every liquor bottle.Copy !req
107. In my haste,Copy !req
108. I had grabbed a bottle
of the kids' cough syrup.Copy !req
109. It passed the first test...Copy !req
110. I didn't go blind.Copy !req
111. They say everyone can float
in the Dead Sea,Copy !req
112. but Selma sank
right to the bottom.Copy !req
113. I don't know the
scientific explanationCopy !req
114. but fire made it good.Copy !req
115. Sounds like one hell of a drink.Copy !req
116. What do you call it?Copy !req
117. A Flaming Homer.Copy !req
118. Okay. Why don't you
make us upCopy !req
119. a couple of Flaming Homers?Copy !req
120. Hey, Moe, you got any
cough syrup?Copy !req
121. Let me check the lost and
found. What do we got here?Copy !req
122. Bowie knife, troll doll...Copy !req
123. glass eye...Copy !req
124. Here we are.Copy !req
125. It's not without it's charm.Copy !req
126. Try lighting it on fire.Copy !req
127. Wow!Copy !req
128. Homer, it's like there's
a party in my mouthCopy !req
129. and everyone's invited.Copy !req
130. Hey, your Love Tester's busted.Copy !req
131. I want my nickel back.Copy !req
132. Hey, buddy,
have one on the house.Copy !req
133. Hey, this drink is deliciousCopy !req
134. and my phlegm feels looser.Copy !req
135. What do you call it?Copy !req
136. Well, it's called a Flaming...Copy !req
137. Moe!
It's called a Flaming Moe.Copy !req
138. That's right, a Flaming Moe.Copy !req
139. My name is Moe,
and I invented it.Copy !req
140. That's why it's
called a Flaming Moe.Copy !req
141. What? What are you
looking at, Homer?Copy !req
142. It's a Flaming Moe.
I'm Moe.Copy !req
143. Oh!Copy !req
144. - Hey, what's this?
- A sneeze guard.Copy !req
145. Wow, it really works!Copy !req
146. Moe, I haven't seen
the place this crowdedCopy !req
147. since the government
cracked down on youCopy !req
148. for accepting food stamps.Copy !req
149. Do you think my drink has
something to do with it?Copy !req
150. Who can say? It's probably
a combination of things.Copy !req
151. Another pitcher of those
amazing Flaming Moes.Copy !req
152. I hate this joint,
but I love that drink.Copy !req
153. Barkeep, I couldn't
help noticing your sign.Copy !req
154. The one that says
"Bartenders do it 'til you barf"?Copy !req
155. No. Above that
store-bought drollery.Copy !req
156. Great. Why don't we
fill out an application.Copy !req
157. I'll need your name,
measurements, and turn-ons.Copy !req
158. You really expect me
to tell you my measurements?Copy !req
159. You could, but I find this wayCopy !req
160. is much more accurate, and fun.Copy !req
161. What do you offer
in the way of salary?Copy !req
162. Minimum wage and tips.Copy !req
163. Of course,
there are fringe benefits.Copy !req
164. Such as?Copy !req
165. An unforgettable weekend
at Club Moe.Copy !req
166. I'd prefer to take
my vacation someplace hot.Copy !req
167. I like your moxie, kid.Copy !req
168. You're hired.Copy !req
169. You shan't regret this.Copy !req
170. Me thinks I shan't.Copy !req
171. Pardon me, are you the
genius behind the Flaming Moe?Copy !req
172. - Why yes, I...
- I'm your man.Copy !req
173. My name's Harv Bannister.Copy !req
174. I work for Tipsy McStagger'sCopy !req
175. Good Time Drinking
and Eating Emporium.Copy !req
176. Yeah? Hey, what's
Mr. McStagger really like?Copy !req
177. Actually, there is no
Tipsy McStagger.Copy !req
178. He's just a composite
of other successful logos.Copy !req
179. Well, you tell him for meCopy !req
180. that he makes
one great mozzarella stick.Copy !req
181. Yes, fine, I will.Copy !req
182. Anyway, I've got a
proposition for you.Copy !req
183. Keep talking.Copy !req
184. We feel your Flaming MoeCopy !req
185. is perfect for our
restaurant chain.Copy !req
186. We want to buy the recipe.Copy !req
187. No dice. The Flaming Moe
is not for sale.Copy !req
188. Do you know how much
of my blood and sweatCopy !req
189. are in this drink?Copy !req
190. Figure of speech.Copy !req
191. Sorry, Harv.Copy !req
192. I'll be back.Copy !req
193. Good for you, Moe.Copy !req
194. Only an idiot would give awayCopy !req
195. a million-dollar idea like that.Copy !req
196. So the next time you useCopy !req
197. a gas chromatograph,Copy !req
198. remember to thank
Mr. A.J.P. Morton.Copy !req
199. Brilliant, Martin.
Brilliant.Copy !req
200. Once again you've wrecked
the grading curve.Copy !req
201. I pity the poor student
who has to follow you.Copy !req
202. Bart Simpson, you're next.Copy !req
203. "The Inventor I Admire"
by Bart Simpson.Copy !req
204. The inventor I admire
is not a rich manCopy !req
205. or a famous man,
or even a smart man.Copy !req
206. He's my father, Homer Simpson,Copy !req
207. the Flaming Homer!Copy !req
208. The Flaming Homer?Copy !req
209. You mean the Flaming MoeCopy !req
210. and your dad
didn't invent it, you wuss.Copy !req
211. Moe the Bartender did.Copy !req
212. Yes, everyone knows that.Copy !req
213. It's not true.Copy !req
214. My father invented that drink.Copy !req
215. And if you'll allow me
to demonstrate.Copy !req
216. Bart, are those liquor bottles?Copy !req
217. I brought enough for everybody.Copy !req
218. Take those to
the teachers' lounge.Copy !req
219. You can have what's left
at the end of the day.Copy !req
220. Hey, Bernard!Copy !req
221. Good evening, Krusty.Copy !req
222. Nice to see you, Bernard.Copy !req
223. Thank you very much.
Right this way.Copy !req
224. - Krusty, over here!
- Krusty, one more!Copy !req
225. What the...Copy !req
226. Henceforth, this date
shall forever be knownCopy !req
227. as Flaming Moe's Day.Copy !req
228. Sir, this is already
Veteran's Day.Copy !req
229. It can be two things.Copy !req
230. Mom, instead of milk for dinner,
can I have a Virgin Moe?Copy !req
231. Honey, what's wrong?Copy !req
232. I'll tell you what's wrong.Copy !req
233. That rotten Moe is getting rich
off a recipe I gave him.Copy !req
234. Take that off this second.Copy !req
235. Okay.Copy !req
236. Homie, why don't you
just go down to Moe'sCopy !req
237. and talk to him?Copy !req
238. I bet he'd be willing to share
some of his success with you.Copy !req
239. Nah.Copy !req
240. Marge, I'm too upset to eat.Copy !req
241. I think I'll go to Moe's.Copy !req
242. D'Copy !req
243. Hey!Copy !req
244. Can I help you, sir?Copy !req
245. I need to talk to Moe.Copy !req
246. Your name's not on the list.Copy !req
247. I didn't even tell you my name.Copy !req
248. - Okay, what's your name?
- Homer Simpson.Copy !req
249. - Not on the list.
- But...Copy !req
250. We're all filled up.
Fire laws!Copy !req
251. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
252. some new buddies of mine
stopped by tonight.Copy !req
253. Maybe we can get them
to come up here.Copy !req
254. How about a warm
Flaming Moe's welcome for...Copy !req
255. Aerosmith!Copy !req
256. - I don't think so, Moe.
- Nah.Copy !req
257. We're just hanging out.Copy !req
258. Come on, guys.
Free pickled eggs.Copy !req
259. - All right!
- Yeah!Copy !req
260. Hello, St. Louis!Copy !req
261. That's Springfield, Steven.Copy !req
262. Yeah. Right.Copy !req
263. Are you ready to rock?Copy !req
264. Yeah!Copy !req
265. I said, are you ready to rock!Copy !req
266. - Yeah!
- Hit it!Copy !req
267. - Barney?
- Hi, Homer.Copy !req
268. I want you to meet my friendsCopy !req
269. Armando and Raffi.Copy !req
270. Hey, Moe, come on.
Get up here.Copy !req
271. Hiya, scrumptious.
Do you want to ignite my drink?Copy !req
272. You're my kid's teacher.Copy !req
273. Single parent, are we?Copy !req
274. No.Copy !req
275. Well, let's pretend you are.Copy !req
276. Get away from me.Copy !req
277. - Hey, Moe!
- Hi, Homer.Copy !req
278. How about a beer?Copy !req
279. I'd rather have a Flaming Homer.Copy !req
280. A what?
I get it.Copy !req
281. How could you
do this to me, Moe?Copy !req
282. This bar was going under,Copy !req
283. and it was the drink
I invented that saved it.Copy !req
284. If there was any justice,Copy !req
285. my face would be on
a bunch of crappy merchandise.Copy !req
286. Morris, is what
this man saying true?Copy !req
287. Well, it's hard to say.Copy !req
288. He may have come up
with the recipeCopy !req
289. but I came up with the ideaCopy !req
290. of charging $6.95 for it.Copy !req
291. Telephone.Copy !req
292. Flaming Moe's.Copy !req
293. Yes, I'm looking for
a friend of mine.Copy !req
294. Last name: Jazz.
First name: Hugh.Copy !req
295. Hold on. I'll check.Copy !req
296. Hugh Jazz?Copy !req
297. Somebody check the men's room
for a Hugh Jazz.Copy !req
298. I'm Hugh Jazz.Copy !req
299. Telephone.Copy !req
300. Hello, this is Hugh Jazz.Copy !req
301. Hi.Copy !req
302. - Who's this?
- Bart Simpson.Copy !req
303. What can I do for you, Bart?Copy !req
304. Look,
I'll level with you mister.Copy !req
305. This is a crank call
that sorta backfiredCopy !req
306. and I'd like to bail out
right now.Copy !req
307. Alright.
Better luck next time.Copy !req
308. What a nice young man.Copy !req
309. Homer, I'm sorry you're mad
at me, but this isn't personal.Copy !req
310. This is business.Copy !req
311. Business?Copy !req
312. Well, let me tell you something.Copy !req
313. You just lost
yourself a customer.Copy !req
314. What? I'm sorry.
Homer, I couldn't hear you.Copy !req
315. I said, you just lost
yourself a customer!Copy !req
316. - What?
- You just lost yourself a customer!Copy !req
317. Homer, you're gonna
have to speak up.Copy !req
318. You just lost yourself
a customer, Moe!Copy !req
319. I forced myself to what?Copy !req
320. You just lost
yourself a customer!Copy !req
321. Homer, I'll talk
to ya' tomorrow.Copy !req
322. You just lost yourself
a customer!Copy !req
323. Yeah, you can use it.Copy !req
324. Barney!Copy !req
325. How's the world treating you,
Mr. Gumble?Copy !req
326. Hey, there!Copy !req
327. What can I do for you, Harv?Copy !req
328. Well, sir, Tipsy McStagger
would like to buy your drink.Copy !req
329. He's here?Copy !req
330. No, no, no.Copy !req
331. I mean my company is
willing to do what it takesCopy !req
332. to get that recipe.Copy !req
333. We're prepared
to offer you $1 million.Copy !req
334. Sorry, Harv,
but like I told you beforeCopy !req
335. it ain't for sale.Copy !req
336. Don't be stupid!Copy !req
337. We have a laboratory for
this kind of thing.Copy !req
338. We've got it all figured out,
except for one ingredient.Copy !req
339. Brace yourselves, gentlemen.Copy !req
340. According to
the gas chromatograph,Copy !req
341. the secret ingredient is...Copy !req
342. Love?Copy !req
343. Who's been screwing
with this thing?Copy !req
344. I'm sorry, but the secret
ingredient dies with me.Copy !req
345. 30 cases of cough syrup.Copy !req
346. Sign here.Copy !req
347. I got hooked on this
stuff in the service.Copy !req
348. My new watering hole.Copy !req
349. Yeah, what do you want?Copy !req
350. - A beer.
- Okay, then.Copy !req
351. Can I have a clean glass?Copy !req
352. Here you go, your majesty.Copy !req
353. Next on "Eye on Springfield,"Copy !req
354. a toast to Moe,
the wizard of Walnut Street.Copy !req
355. The Flaming Moe
dates back to my forefathersCopy !req
356. who were bartenders to the czar.Copy !req
357. So, Mr. Hutz,
does my husband have a case?Copy !req
358. I'm sorry,
Mrs. SimpsonCopy !req
359. but you can't copyright a drink.Copy !req
360. This all goes back to the
Frank Wallbanger case of '78.Copy !req
361. How about that?
I looked something up.Copy !req
362. These books behind me don't
just make the office look good.Copy !req
363. They're filled with useful
legal tidbits just like that.Copy !req
364. Stupid Moe.Copy !req
365. Non-inventing,
recipe-stealing, pug-nosed...Copy !req
366. Well, Homer, maybe you
can take some consolationCopy !req
367. in the fact that
something you createdCopy !req
368. is making so many people happy.Copy !req
369. Ooh! Look at me.Copy !req
370. I'm making people happy.Copy !req
371. I'm the magical man
from Happy LandCopy !req
372. in a gumdrop house
on Lollipop Lane.Copy !req
373. By the way,
I was being sarcastic.Copy !req
374. Well, duh!Copy !req
375. Now, that's what I call
a happy hour.Copy !req
376. Morris, something troubles me.Copy !req
377. Don't worry baby.Copy !req
378. My mother won't be home
for another 20 minutes.Copy !req
379. No. I was just thinking
about Homer Simpson.Copy !req
380. That's okay.Copy !req
381. I was just thinking
about Sybil Danning.Copy !req
382. I meant, I think you
should sell your drinkCopy !req
383. and give half the money
to Homer.Copy !req
384. But, honey...Copy !req
385. He's your friend, Morris,Copy !req
386. and you took advantage of him.Copy !req
387. All right.
All right.Copy !req
388. I'll split the million
with Homer.Copy !req
389. Jeepers, Mary and Joseph!Copy !req
390. I sleep with a chick onceCopy !req
391. it costs me
half a million bananas.Copy !req
392. Moe, Moe, Moe...Copy !req
393. Bart, are you going
to mow the lawn today?Copy !req
394. Okay, but you promised me
Moe money.Copy !req
395. I Moe, I Moe.Copy !req
396. Moe, Moe, Moe...Copy !req
397. When Bart's done, can we MoeCopy !req
398. to the Moevies?
There's a Moetinee.Copy !req
399. Of course. All work and Moe play
makes Moe a Moe Moe.Copy !req
400. - Moe Moe Moe Moe Moe?
- Moe Moe Moe.Copy !req
401. Moe Moe Moe Moe Moe.Copy !req
402. Moe Moe Moe Moe.Copy !req
403. Moe.Copy !req
404. Moe, Moe...Copy !req
405. Moe...Copy !req
406. Moe, Moe...Copy !req
407. Moe...Copy !req
408. Moe, Moe...Copy !req
409. - Hey, Homer.
- Hey, Homer.Copy !req
410. Hey, Homer.Copy !req
411. - Hey, Homer.
- Hey, Homer.Copy !req
412. - Hey, Homer.
- Hey, Homer.Copy !req
413. Aaaaahh!Copy !req
414. Hiya, Homer!Copy !req
415. What's the matter?Copy !req
416. Aaaaaaahhh!Copy !req
417. Hey, where's Joey?Copy !req
418. Mrs. Krabappel,Copy !req
419. I really need my drumsticks.Copy !req
420. Come and get 'em!Copy !req
421. You're going to be
a rich man, Moe.Copy !req
422. I gotta tell you.
The way we usually workCopy !req
423. in these situations is
to steal the recipeCopy !req
424. and run the inventor
out of business.Copy !req
425. C'est la vie.Copy !req
426. What the...?Copy !req
427. Fools!Copy !req
428. You poor, patheticCopy !req
429. misguided creaturesCopy !req
430. choking down your Flaming MoesCopy !req
431. all the time wondering,
"How does he do it?"Copy !req
432. Well, I'm going to tell you.Copy !req
433. Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!Copy !req
434. The secret ingredient is...Copy !req
435. Homer, no!Copy !req
436. Cough syrup.Copy !req
437. Nothing but plain, ordinary,
over-the-counterCopy !req
438. children's cough syrup.Copy !req
439. Shoot.Copy !req
440. Thank you, Mr. Nutball.Copy !req
441. Got to go, Moe.
Tough luck.Copy !req
442. Aaaaaaaahhh!Copy !req
443. Holy cow, you just fellCopy !req
444. on Aerosmith!Copy !req
445. Hey, Homer.Copy !req
446. Come in here.Copy !req
447. Hi, Moe.Copy !req
448. Where's that waitress of yours?Copy !req
449. She left to pursue
a movie career.Copy !req
450. Frankly, I think she
was better off here.Copy !req
451. Moe, sorry I lost you hundreds
of thousands of dollars.Copy !req
452. Hey, hey.Copy !req
453. Maybe some things are too good
to be kept a secret.Copy !req
454. I guess so.Copy !req
455. Compliments of the house...Copy !req
456. One Flaming... Homer.Copy !req
457. Aw, thanks, Moe.Copy !req
458. You're the greatest friend
a guy could ever have.Copy !req
459. Hey, do you think Aerosmith
will be in tonight?Copy !req
460. I doubt it.Copy !req
461. Shh!Copy !req
462. ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.Copy !req