1. D'Copy !req
2. Aah!Copy !req
3. Ooh!Copy !req
4. Ooh, ooh, ooh... Yello?Copy !req
5. Dad, I'm calling about
the school talent show...Copy !req
6. Don't worry.
I know it's tonight.Copy !req
7. No. Dad, I broke my last
saxophone reed,Copy !req
8. and I need you to
get me a new one.Copy !req
9. Isn't this the kind of thing
your mother's better at?Copy !req
10. I called her.
She's not home.Copy !req
11. I also tried Mr. Flanders,
Aunt Patty, Aunt Selma,Copy !req
12. Doctor Hibbert,
Reverend Lovejoy,Copy !req
13. and that nice man who caught
the snake in our basement.Copy !req
14. Wow. And after themCopy !req
15. out of all the people
in the world,Copy !req
16. you chose me.Copy !req
17. Yeah.Copy !req
18. Number 41/2 reed. Got it.Copy !req
19. Well, you're in for
a whale of a show tonight.Copy !req
20. I'd like to point out that
the doors are now locked,Copy !req
21. so you parents can't
sneak out of the showCopy !req
22. after your own child
has performed.Copy !req
23. And let me caution the peopleCopy !req
24. in the first five rows...Copy !req
25. You will get wet.Copy !req
26. Just in the nick of...Copy !req
27. Beer.Copy !req
28. Hurry. Moe, hurry.Copy !req
29. I've only got five minutes
till the music store closes.Copy !req
30. Well why don't you
go there first?Copy !req
31. Hey, do I tell you
how to do your job?Copy !req
32. Sorry, Homer.Copy !req
33. You know, if you tip the glass,Copy !req
34. there won't be so much
foam on top.Copy !req
35. Sorry, Homer.Copy !req
36. This is a whole lot of nothing.Copy !req
37. I'd rather be watchin'
the boilers.Copy !req
38. Make sure you return those
chairs to the cafeteria, Kim.Copy !req
39. I'm not kidding.Copy !req
40. Finished,
with 15 seconds to spare.Copy !req
41. D-D-
D-D-Copy !req
42. What's the matter, buddy?Copy !req
43. The moron next door
closed early.Copy !req
44. I happen to be that moron.Copy !req
45. Me and my trenchant mouth!Copy !req
46. Terrible, just terrible.Copy !req
47. You know, they seem to
get worse every year.Copy !req
48. Wonderful!Copy !req
49. You know, I think this is
the best batch we've ever had.Copy !req
50. I really do.
And now, here's Bart Simpson,Copy !req
51. the boy of a thousand voices.Copy !req
52. I'd like to open
with my impression of...Copy !req
53. Principal Skinner.Copy !req
54. Duh, look at me.Copy !req
55. I'm Principal Skinner.Copy !req
56. That young man just becameCopy !req
57. the boy of a thousand days
detention.Copy !req
58. Hey, it's Lunch Lady Doris.Copy !req
59. I wonder what she's
got for us today.Copy !req
60. Today's special is refriedCopy !req
61. dog poop.Copy !req
62. Please! You've got
to open that store.Copy !req
63. Let me think about it.Copy !req
64. No.Copy !req
65. Okay, okay, but I want
you to see a pictureCopy !req
66. of the little girl
you're disappointing.Copy !req
67. Well, I don't have one.Copy !req
68. Come on, Jer.
Open up. Be a pal.Copy !req
69. Remember when I pulled you
and your wife out of that burning car?Copy !req
70. Okay, okay, but now we're even.Copy !req
71. What does your daughter need?Copy !req
72. I'll have you know
I wrote it down.Copy !req
73. "Number...
Number 41/2..."Copy !req
74. Stupid gum!Copy !req
75. "Number 41/2 reed."
Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
76. And, what instrument
does she play?Copy !req
77. I don't know.Copy !req
78. Mom, where is he?Copy !req
79. If I don't get that reed,
I'll sound terrible.Copy !req
80. Don't worry, honey.Copy !req
81. I'm sure your father is...Copy !req
82. maybe...Copy !req
83. No.Copy !req
84. That's a long shot.Copy !req
85. Bingo.Copy !req
86. Don't worry.
He'll be here.Copy !req
87. - Clarinet? Oboe?
- No.Copy !req
88. - Saxophone?
- No.Copy !req
89. Wait a minute.
What was that last one again?Copy !req
90. Saxophone.Copy !req
91. Lisa, stop playing
that stupid...Copy !req
92. saxophone!
Yes, that's it!Copy !req
93. - Alto or tenor?
- D-Copy !req
94. This act is over!Copy !req
95. Well, ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
96. I'd like to put this filth
behind usCopy !req
97. and let's all enjoy
Lisa Simpson's renditionCopy !req
98. of "Stormy Leather."Copy !req
99. "Weather."Copy !req
100. Ha, ha!Copy !req
101. Sounds like that gopher
I caught in me lawn mower.Copy !req
102. Ew, I'd hate to be
that kid's father.Copy !req
103. - That will do.
- It's not my fault.Copy !req
104. It's the reed.Copy !req
105. Yes, of course.Copy !req
106. It's the reed.Copy !req
107. Let's hear it for Lisa SimpsonCopy !req
108. and her wacky sax.Copy !req
109. Yeah!Copy !req
110. Whoo!Copy !req
111. Whoo, yeah...Copy !req
112. Okay, who ordered
a Mount Bellyache?Copy !req
113. I ordered it
for my little girl. Heh heh.Copy !req
114. I'm done.Copy !req
115. That cost $88!Copy !req
116. I'm sorry, Dad.
I don't feel much like eating.Copy !req
117. Look, I let you down
and I apologize.Copy !req
118. I know that
doesn't make it right.Copy !req
119. But I hope you can
find it in your heartCopy !req
120. - to forgive me.
- I forgive you.Copy !req
121. D' You didn't mean that.Copy !req
122. No, I didn't.Copy !req
123. Look, Homer.Copy !req
124. Lisa's taking her first steps.Copy !req
125. - You're taping it?
- Yes.Copy !req
126. I'll watch it later.Copy !req
127. The plane, the plane!Copy !req
128. No, my freakish little friend.
That's a seagull.Copy !req
129. Da-da.Copy !req
130. Da-da.Copy !req
131. Did you hear that, Homer?Copy !req
132. Marge, please... I'm busy.Copy !req
133. No wonder she hates me.Copy !req
134. I never even noticed
she was alive.Copy !req
135. Homer, if you want
to make up with LisaCopy !req
136. just spend some time with her.Copy !req
137. Okay!Copy !req
138. Aah!Copy !req
139. Maybe I should just
cut my losses, give up on Lisa,Copy !req
140. and make a fresh start
with Maggie.Copy !req
141. Homie, you've got to
stop looking for the quick fix.Copy !req
142. If you keep spending time
with Lisa, she'll forgive you.Copy !req
143. Marge, if I spend any more time
doing these girl things,Copy !req
144. I'm gonna, you know, go fruity.Copy !req
145. No, you were right
the first timeCopy !req
146. with that quick fix idea.Copy !req
147. Let's see...
Quick fix, quick fix.Copy !req
148. I'll buy her that pony
she's always bugging me for.Copy !req
149. We can't afford to buy a pony.Copy !req
150. Marge, with today's
gasoline prices,Copy !req
151. we can't
afford not to buy a pony.Copy !req
152. That's ridiculous.Copy !req
153. Marge, I've gotta
get her a pony.Copy !req
154. When I look in Lisa's eyes,
I don't see love anymore.Copy !req
155. That's no reason to buy a pony.Copy !req
156. See, even when you yell at me,
I can see love in your eyes.Copy !req
157. Stick to the subject.Copy !req
158. Ha, ha, you love me.Copy !req
159. Let's be realistic.Copy !req
160. A pony is very expensive,Copy !req
161. and we have enough trouble
paying bills as it is.Copy !req
162. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
163. You sound like you're
going to buy a pony.Copy !req
164. Promise me you won't.Copy !req
165. What was that?
Was that a yes or a no?Copy !req
166. - Baa.
- Those aren't even words.Copy !req
167. Sna.Copy !req
168. My, what is that smell?Copy !req
169. It's you.Copy !req
170. Excuse me.
Do you sell ponies?Copy !req
171. Sure, pal.
Right here.Copy !req
172. "Scottish Deer Hound."Copy !req
173. Hey, this is a dog.Copy !req
174. Ooh, my friend, you're smarter
than I gave you credit for.Copy !req
175. I suggest you try
the Boney Farm on Route 401.Copy !req
176. Merely take a left
at the rendering plant.Copy !req
177. Now, lady, I'm buying a pony
for my little girl,Copy !req
178. and I don't care what it costs.Copy !req
179. Very good.Copy !req
180. That stunning creature
over thereCopy !req
181. is half a million dollars.Copy !req
182. Half a million dollars?Copy !req
183. He was sired by Seattle Slew,Copy !req
184. - and his mother won the Kentucky Derby.
- Wow.Copy !req
185. His likeness
graces a stamp in Tanzania.Copy !req
186. - I'll take it!
- Mr. Simpson...Copy !req
187. do you have
half a million dollars?Copy !req
188. Sure, let me write you a check.Copy !req
189. Mr. Simpson,Copy !req
190. this check is dated
January 1, 2054.Copy !req
191. Is there a problem with that?Copy !req
192. Our ponies start
at $5,000... cash.Copy !req
193. Isn't there like a poundCopy !req
194. where you can pick up
cheap poniesCopy !req
195. that ran away from home?Copy !req
196. I sincerely hope not.Copy !req
197. I... I'd like to borrow $5,000.Copy !req
198. Sorry.Copy !req
199. I can't approve
a loan that size myself.Copy !req
200. Hello.Copy !req
201. "Simpson," How can I help you?Copy !req
202. Mr. Burns,
you do this personally?Copy !req
203. It's a hobby.Copy !req
204. I'm not in this for any
personal gain. Heavens no.Copy !req
205. By the way, are you
acquainted withCopy !req
206. our state's
stringent usury laws?Copy !req
207. - Usury?
- Silly me.Copy !req
208. I must've just made up
a word that doesn't exist.Copy !req
209. Now, what is the purpose
of this loan?Copy !req
210. I want to buy a pony.Copy !req
211. Isn't that cute?Copy !req
212. Smithers, he's planning
on joining the horsey set.Copy !req
213. That is it, isn't it?
You're not planning to eat it?Copy !req
214. No I need to get it
for my little girl becauseCopy !req
215. she doesn't love me anymore.Copy !req
216. - Shut up, Simpson.
- Sorry.Copy !req
217. You have any collateral?Copy !req
218. Smithers, let's not be so cold.Copy !req
219. His spirit is my collateral.Copy !req
220. Just sign this form
and the money will be yours.Copy !req
221. Sorry, I was just thinkingCopy !req
222. of something funny
Smithers did today.Copy !req
223. I didn't do anything funny, sir.Copy !req
224. Shut up.Copy !req
225. Mr. Simpson,Copy !req
226. are you quite sure you know
how to take care of a pony?Copy !req
227. Of course.Copy !req
228. Simpson, you've done it again.Copy !req
229. I love you, Dad!Copy !req
230. I am very upset with you.Copy !req
231. Sounds like someone's anglingCopy !req
232. for a pony of her own.Copy !req
233. Hey, how come Lisa gets a pony?Copy !req
234. Because she stopped loving me.Copy !req
235. I don't love ya' either,
so gimme a moped.Copy !req
236. I know you love me,
so you don't get squat.Copy !req
237. Snowball II,
Santa's Little Helper...Copy !req
238. This is Princess.Copy !req
239. Please don't exclude her
because she's different.Copy !req
240. Homer, just where were you
planning to keep this horse?Copy !req
241. I've got it all figured out.Copy !req
242. By day, it will roam free
around the neighborhood,Copy !req
243. and at night,
it will nestle snuglyCopy !req
244. between the cars in our garage.Copy !req
245. - Dad, no!
- That's illegal.Copy !req
246. That's for the courts to decide.Copy !req
247. Marge, she loves me.Copy !req
248. Dad, I think Princess
belongs in a stable.Copy !req
249. Stable?
That sounds expensive.Copy !req
250. This is what love costs a month?Copy !req
251. These are standard
stable fees, Mr. Simpson.Copy !req
252. Plus, I'm teaching your daughter
riding, grooming,Copy !req
253. and at no extra charge,
pronunciation.Copy !req
254. Father, you've made meCopy !req
255. the happiest girl
who ever lived.Copy !req
256. Nuts.Copy !req
257. What do I do?
What do I do?Copy !req
258. Grandpa, if you want
to go right,Copy !req
259. move the joy stick to the left.Copy !req
260. Yes. Move the...Copy !req
261. What's a joy stick?
You didn't tell me...Copy !req
262. Here comes a Xylon cruiser!
Woah, woah woah!Copy !req
263. Go into hyperspace!
Ready, hit it!Copy !req
264. Wait!
Where's the hyperspace?Copy !req
265. Grandpa, you're the spaceship,
not the...Copy !req
266. I'm the what?
I thought I was this guy.Copy !req
267. Game's over, Grandpa.Copy !req
268. I got down on the floor
for this?Copy !req
269. Wait, Dad.
I've got something for you.Copy !req
270. I was hoping it would be money.Copy !req
271. Dear. We're
in serious trouble here.Copy !req
272. We're just going to have
to cut down on luxuries.Copy !req
273. Well, you know we're always
buying Maggie vaccinationsCopy !req
274. for diseases
she doesn't even have.Copy !req
275. Actually, I was thinking
we could cut down on beer.Copy !req
276. Nah, we're not going
to be doing that.Copy !req
277. Then I'm afraid
there's no choiceCopy !req
278. but to give up the pony.Copy !req
279. First you didn't
want me to get the pony.Copy !req
280. Now you want me to take it back.Copy !req
281. Make up your mind.Copy !req
282. Homer!Copy !req
283. Marge, Lisa loves me.
The pony stays.Copy !req
284. Alright. You got us
into this.Copy !req
285. - You get us out.
- Fine, I will.Copy !req
286. There's plenty of money
out thereCopy !req
287. for a guy who's
willing to work for it.Copy !req
288. Do you have any jewelry
you don't need anymore?Copy !req
289. You're so beautiful.Copy !req
290. Look, you haven't
touched your salt lick.Copy !req
291. Num-num.
Good salt lick.Copy !req
292. Need money. Need money.Copy !req
293. One scratch-for-cash, please.Copy !req
294. Here you go.Copy !req
295. Liberty bell.Copy !req
296. Two liberty bells.Copy !req
297. Come on, come on, come on...Copy !req
298. Yes!Copy !req
299. Whoo-whoo!Copy !req
300. Three liberty bells!Copy !req
301. That will be $10,000, Apu.Copy !req
302. Congratulations,
Mr. Homer.Copy !req
303. Thank you.Copy !req
304. If I could just see
the ticket...Copy !req
305. There it is.Copy !req
306. Please to be removing
your thumb.Copy !req
307. No.Copy !req
308. Yes, please.
I must insist.Copy !req
309. No. No.Copy !req
310. - You can't see...
- Yes, I must...Copy !req
311. No! Let go!
You're ripping it.Copy !req
312. A cherry.
Mr. Homer,Copy !req
313. what has reduced you
to such cheap chicanery?Copy !req
314. I need money.Copy !req
315. Well, if you need money,Copy !req
316. you should have at least
jammed a gun in my ribs,Copy !req
317. or better yet,Copy !req
318. you could inquire
about my help wanted sign.Copy !req
319. You're looking for help?Copy !req
320. Yes, we need someone
for the demandingCopy !req
321. yet high profile
midnight to 8:00 a.m. shift.Copy !req
322. I'm your man.Copy !req
323. - You're hired.
- Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
324. Always I dreamed the day
would comeCopy !req
325. when one of you would
be working for me.Copy !req
326. So pretty.Copy !req
327. She certainly tamed that horse.Copy !req
328. Yes, but what man can tame her?Copy !req
329. I won't lie to you.Copy !req
330. On this job,
you will be shot at.Copy !req
331. Each of these bullet wounds
is a badge of honor.Copy !req
332. "Badge of honor..."Copy !req
333. Here's a pointer.Copy !req
334. Try to take it in the shoulder.Copy !req
335. Now, these hot dogs have been
here for three years.Copy !req
336. They are strictly ornamental.Copy !req
337. There is only one bozo
who comes in and buys them.Copy !req
338. But I eat...Copy !req
339. The perfect crime.Copy !req
340. Homer, where have you been
all night?Copy !req
341. I was so worried.Copy !req
342. Marge, can we go
in the other room?Copy !req
343. I did something last night
I'm not proud of,Copy !req
344. and I don't want
the kids to hear it.Copy !req
345. Busted.Copy !req
346. I'll work
midnight to 8:00,Copy !req
347. come home,
sleep for five minutes,Copy !req
348. eat breakfast,
sleep six more minutes, shower.Copy !req
349. Then I have ten minutes
to bask in Lisa's loveCopy !req
350. then off to the power plant
fresh as a daisy.Copy !req
351. My God, she killed him.Copy !req
352. Salty.Copy !req
353. Homer!
Are you stealing Squishies?Copy !req
354. No, sir.Copy !req
355. This next song is alsoCopy !req
356. about a girl and her pony.Copy !req
357. It's called "Wildfire."Copy !req
358. Come on, Apu, honey, loosen up.Copy !req
359. I'm sorry, baby.Copy !req
360. While I'm here pleasuring you,Copy !req
361. my store is going down the tubes.Copy !req
362. Three dollars and 51, 52, 53 cents.Copy !req
363. Homer, you are asleep
at your post!Copy !req
364. Now go change
the expiration datesCopy !req
365. on the dairy products.Copy !req
366. Yes, sir.Copy !req
367. Sorry, baby.
Date's over.Copy !req
368. Homie, how long do you
plan to do this?Copy !req
369. I don't know.Copy !req
370. How long do horses live?Copy !req
371. 30 years.Copy !req
372. D-Copy !req
373. Mustn't sleep.Copy !req
374. Must monitor core.Copy !req
375. Yello?Copy !req
376. I just called
to say I love you, Dad.Copy !req
377. Thanks.Copy !req
378. When is she going
to stop loving me?Copy !req
379. I just heard Milli Vanilli
was arrestedCopy !req
380. for impersonating a McNugget.Copy !req
381. Well, it's still fun
to be up late.Copy !req
382. Hey, Homer, where you going?Copy !req
383. Going for...Copy !req
384. eight-hour walk.Copy !req
385. Homer. Homer?Copy !req
386. Homer sleep now.Copy !req
387. What's wrong with Dad?Copy !req
388. He's just exhausted.Copy !req
389. Lisa, do you know how much
it costs to keep a pony?Copy !req
390. - No.
- Well, it's a lot.Copy !req
391. In fact, your father had
to take a second job.Copy !req
392. The poor guy.Copy !req
393. Where's he working?Copy !req
394. The Kwik-E Mart.Copy !req
395. Lisa, I hope you realizeCopy !req
396. that your father
can't keep this up.Copy !req
397. You're gonna make me
give up Princess?Copy !req
398. Lisa, we can't make you
give up that pony.Copy !req
399. I can make her.Copy !req
400. Just give me five minutes
alone with her.Copy !req
401. No, Bart.
No one's going to make her.Copy !req
402. This is something Lisa
has to decide for herself.Copy !req
403. All the years I've lobbied
to be treated like an adultCopy !req
404. have blown up in my face.Copy !req
405. Hey!
Pink hat!Copy !req
406. When I ordered
that blueberry squishyCopy !req
407. I meant today.Copy !req
408. Coming right up, sir.Copy !req
409. And fill it to the top
this time.Copy !req
410. Yes, sir.Copy !req
411. She likes a little carrot
after her oats,Copy !req
412. and she really likes itCopy !req
413. when you scratch her
behind the ear.Copy !req
414. And if you're playing the radio,Copy !req
415. she likes contemporary
adult in the morningCopy !req
416. and easy listening at night.Copy !req
417. Please take good care
of my Princess.Copy !req
418. Although there is no change
in my patrician facade,Copy !req
419. I can assure you
my heart is breaking.Copy !req
420. I'll never forget you.Copy !req
421. What the...?Copy !req
422. You call this melted cheese
receptacle clean?Copy !req
423. The young man you replaced
is rolling over in his grave.Copy !req
424. Dad, you don't have to do this.Copy !req
425. Yes, I do.
You see, Lisa,Copy !req
426. grown-ups have
a thing called money...Copy !req
427. Dad, I understand the sacrifice
you've made for me.Copy !req
428. That's why I gave up the pony.Copy !req
429. You did?Copy !req
430. There's a big dumb animalCopy !req
431. I love even more
than that horse.Copy !req
432. No, what is it, a hippopotamus?Copy !req
433. I mean you, you dummy.Copy !req
434. Aw.Copy !req
435. Apu, you can take this job
and restaff it.Copy !req
436. Giddy-up, Dad!Copy !req
437. He slept, he stole,Copy !req
438. he was rude to the customers.Copy !req
439. Still, there goes
the best damned employeeCopy !req
440. a convenience store ever had.Copy !req
441. Shh!Copy !req
442. ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.Copy !req