1. D'Copy !req
2. Aah!Copy !req
3. Hey, Homer, let's book!Copy !req
4. I want to get there in time
to whip eggs at the warm-up act.Copy !req
5. Wow, my concert-going jacket
still fits.Copy !req
6. And this is where
I used to hide my beer.Copy !req
7. Billy beer!Copy !req
8. My little guy's
first rock concert.Copy !req
9. I hope The Spinal Taps
don't play too loud.Copy !req
10. Marge, I went to thousands
of heavy metal concertsCopy !req
11. and it never hurt me.Copy !req
12. I hear you.
Come on, boy.Copy !req
13. There goes Davy CrockettCopy !req
14. in his bald-skin cap.Copy !req
15. In other Spinal Tap newsCopy !req
16. Mayor Quimby honored
the aging super groupCopy !req
17. in a ceremony at City Hall.Copy !req
18. I guess you could
say he was trying to "Tap" into theCopy !req
19. "spines" of the young voters?Copy !req
20. Yeah. Let's play the tape.Copy !req
21. Hey, Milhouse, cool jacket.Copy !req
22. It cost me 50,000
Bazooka Joe comics.Copy !req
23. Now just meet me back here
after the show.Copy !req
24. Thanks, Dad.Copy !req
25. Sure you're not gonna be bored?Copy !req
26. Boy, some of the best times
I've ever hadCopy !req
27. were in the back seat of a car.Copy !req
28. Baby.Copy !req
29. Official tour '92 T-shirts, $31.Copy !req
30. Check it out...Copy !req
31. Spinal Tap kicking
Moammar GadhafyCopy !req
32. in the butt.Copy !req
33. The timeless classic,
now 2 for $1.Copy !req
34. Hey, hey, hey,
Bill and Marty here.Copy !req
35. And we're backstage rapping
with the Tap.Copy !req
36. Fellas, I'm gonna hit you with
a phrase that has dogged youCopy !req
37. throughout your career...Copy !req
38. "Washed up."Copy !req
39. Yet here you are, among the top
105 concert acts today.Copy !req
40. What's your secret, guys?Copy !req
41. Well, after
the Berlin Wall fell,Copy !req
42. our records started sellingCopy !req
43. on the dismal side
of the Iron Curtain,Copy !req
44. and naturally that gave
us a boost.Copy !req
45. We're very big in Bulgaria,
and what's-his-name?Copy !req
46. The other Garia.Copy !req
47. - Hungaria?
- Yeah, whatever.Copy !req
48. I can't think of anyone
who's benefittedCopy !req
49. more from the death
of Communism than us.Copy !req
50. Maybe the people who actually
live in the communist countries.Copy !req
51. Yeah, I hadn't thought of that.
I bet you're right.Copy !req
52. On the other hand, each of us just
bought our own soccer team.Copy !req
53. How many Hungarios can say that?Copy !req
54. Test... test...Copy !req
55. Gee, I'm sorry, man.Copy !req
56. About the Frisbee.Copy !req
57. Frisbee?Copy !req
58. Say, guys,
I wonder if you'd mindCopy !req
59. recording a couple
of promos for us?Copy !req
60. Like what?Copy !req
61. Maybe you could sayCopy !req
62. "Nobody rocks like
Bill and Marty on KBBL."Copy !req
63. We don't know that, do we?Copy !req
64. What if somebody rocks
as good as you?Copy !req
65. Or better. I mean...Copy !req
66. We don't want to look stupid.Copy !req
67. Okay, we can respect that.Copy !req
68. How about, "Rock-a-doodle-doo!Copy !req
69. You're listening
to Bill and Marty"?Copy !req
70. - Yeah, sure.
- That's good, yeah.Copy !req
71. Tap! Tap! Tap!Copy !req
72. I just looked out there,
and there's puddles of waterCopy !req
73. all over the freakin' stage.Copy !req
74. Well, I don't want
to lie to you boys.Copy !req
75. Six days a week the place
is a hockey rink.Copy !req
76. Well, this is a rock concertCopy !req
77. not the bleedin'...
splish-splash show.Copy !req
78. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
79. boys and girls...Copy !req
80. Duff beer, in association
with Laramie cigarettes,Copy !req
81. is proud to welcome Spinal Tap!Copy !req
82. Medium setting.Copy !req
83. Thank you!Copy !req
84. All right!Copy !req
85. This morning
we were driving down...Copy !req
86. Route 401...Copy !req
87. That's only four miles
from my house!Copy !req
88. And we thought they knew
how to rock in Shelbyville.Copy !req
89. But nobody rocks like...Copy !req
90. Springfield!Copy !req
91. Well, it seems some silly twitCopy !req
92. did not get a
big enough oxygen pump,Copy !req
93. but that's supposed
to be a devil.Copy !req
94. Filled up with air,
it's very evil and impressive.Copy !req
95. We salute you,
our half-inflated dark lord!Copy !req
96. - Oy!
- Oy!Copy !req
97. Oy!Copy !req
98. You know, people think there are
only five members of Spinal Tap,Copy !req
99. but they are wrong.Copy !req
100. Could we turn up
the house lights, please?Copy !req
101. That was the cue to turn up
the house lightsCopy !req
102. so we can tell the audienceCopy !req
103. they're the sixth member
of the freakin' group!Copy !req
104. We are trying
to put a tiny thrillCopy !req
105. into their gray little lives.Copy !req
106. Forget it.Copy !req
107. Turn on the lasers.Copy !req
108. Aah! My vision.Copy !req
109. That's it.
Show's over.Copy !req
110. Good night, Springden.Copy !req
111. There will be no encores.Copy !req
112. They were only on
for 20 minutes.Copy !req
113. What a gyp.Copy !req
114. Gnarly show, man.Copy !req
115. Want to trash the stage?Copy !req
116. Okay.Copy !req
117. Aah!Copy !req
118. Tonight, a city weeps.Copy !req
119. As for the first time ever,Copy !req
120. a hockey arena becomes
a scene of violence,Copy !req
121. following a concert
by Spinal Tap.Copy !req
122. I hope my poor
little baby's okay.Copy !req
123. See for yourself.Copy !req
124. Unh!Copy !req
125. Of course it would be
wrong to suggestCopy !req
126. that this sort of mayhem
began with rock and roll.Copy !req
127. After all, there were riotsCopy !req
128. at the premiere of Mozart's
The Magic Flute.Copy !req
129. So, what's the answer...
Ban all music?Copy !req
130. In this reporter's opinion,
the answer, sadly is yes.Copy !req
131. Hi, Mom.Copy !req
132. Thank God.Copy !req
133. Mom, I want to be a rock star.Copy !req
134. We'll discuss it later.Copy !req
135. Is Milhouse okay?Copy !req
136. I'll be right back.Copy !req
137. Help! Help!Copy !req
138. Homer, I've been thinking
about what Bart said.Copy !req
139. If he's really interested
in being a musicianCopy !req
140. maybe we should
buy him a guitar.Copy !req
141. That's a waste of money.
We already have a guitar.Copy !req
142. I meant a real guitar.Copy !req
143. This is real.Copy !req
144. Wow!Copy !req
145. And it came with
a free instruction book.Copy !req
146. Now boy, we spent a lot of moneyCopy !req
147. so you'd better get real good,
real fast, or pow!Copy !req
148. Homer!Copy !req
149. Hey, I thought I was
supposed to encourage him?Copy !req
150. I'd like to play me latest chart topper.Copy !req
151. It's calledCopy !req
152. "Me Fans Are Stupid Pigs."Copy !req
153. Bart, you've got to go on.Copy !req
154. Slag off.Copy !req
155. You've changed, man.Copy !req
156. You used to be about the music.Copy !req
157. I said slag off!Copy !req
158. Cool!Copy !req
159. - Knock it off.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
160. Knock it off!Copy !req
161. I's just jammin' with ya.Copy !req
162. Hey, Simpson what are
you trying to play?Copy !req
163. "Polly-Wolly Doodle."Copy !req
164. Yeah? Well, it sounds
Polly-Wolly crappy.Copy !req
165. Ha-ha!Copy !req
166. Burn.Copy !req
167. Hey, cherry ax, Bart dude.Copy !req
168. I think it's broken.Copy !req
169. Really? Give it here.Copy !req
170. I didn't know you played
the guitar, Otto man.Copy !req
171. Hey, that's all I did
in high school.Copy !req
172. My old man said
I was wasting my timeCopy !req
173. and I'd never amount
to anything.Copy !req
174. I...Copy !req
175. Now I'd like to slow
things down a little bit.Copy !req
176. Although I'm sureCopy !req
177. I will receive a severe wedgie
from my bus mates,Copy !req
178. I must remind youCopy !req
179. we should have been at school
ten minutes ago...Copy !req
180. Better fasten
your seat belts, little dudes.Copy !req
181. We don't have seat belts.Copy !req
182. Well, then just try to go limp.Copy !req
183. Better take a shortcut.Copy !req
184. Good show last night.Copy !req
185. Yeah, quite good.Copy !req
186. Good Lord! Did anyone
get the license number?Copy !req
187. - Gee, I forgot.
- I don't think so.Copy !req
188. - Yay!
- Whee!Copy !req
189. It's a miracle no one was hurt.Copy !req
190. I stand on my record...Copy !req
191. 15 crashes and not
a single fatality.Copy !req
192. Let's see your license, pal.Copy !req
193. No can do.
Never got one.Copy !req
194. But, if you need proof
of my identity,Copy !req
195. I wrote my name on my underwear.Copy !req
196. Wait... these aren't mine.Copy !req
197. Well that tears it.Copy !req
198. Until you get a license
and wear your own underwear,Copy !req
199. mister, you are
suspended without pay.Copy !req
200. Who's gonna drive the bus?Copy !req
201. I drove an all-terrain
vehicle in Da Nang.Copy !req
202. I think I can handle it.Copy !req
203. Where's Otto?Copy !req
204. Otto?Copy !req
205. That's one palindrome you
won't be hearing for a while.Copy !req
206. Off we go.Copy !req
207. There's an opening.Copy !req
208. Too late.Copy !req
209. Nope, nope...Copy !req
210. That would be
cutting it a little close.Copy !req
211. I think you have to be
more aggressive, sir.Copy !req
212. Nonsense.Copy !req
213. One of our good citizens
will slow down and wave me in.Copy !req
214. Nope...Copy !req
215. What's so funny?Copy !req
216. I was just thinking
about the timeCopy !req
217. Homer caught his nose
in the toaster.Copy !req
218. We'll watch the tape tonight.Copy !req
219. Look, you got someone
at your window.Copy !req
220. My name's Patty.Copy !req
221. I'll be testing you.Copy !req
222. When you do good,
I use the green pen.Copy !req
223. When you do bad,
I use the red pen.Copy !req
224. Any questions?Copy !req
225. Yeah, one: have you
always been a chick?Copy !req
226. I don't want to offend you,Copy !req
227. but you were born a man,
weren't you?Copy !req
228. You can tell me.
I'm open-minded.Copy !req
229. I won't be needing this.Copy !req
230. All right! Yeah!Copy !req
231. So, how did I do?Copy !req
232. Well, you failed every segmentCopy !req
233. and misspelled "bus"
on your application.Copy !req
234. Drag.Copy !req
235. Let me in.
Let me in!Copy !req
236. Shut up!Copy !req
237. Hey, landlord,
some clown changed my locksCopy !req
238. padlocked the door,
and put up an eviction notice.Copy !req
239. Yeah. That was me.Copy !req
240. You?Copy !req
241. Well, why?Copy !req
242. Because you haven't paid
your rent.Copy !req
243. Can I at least get my stuff?Copy !req
244. All I found in there
was a jar of mustardCopy !req
245. and a couple
of old Cycle magazines.Copy !req
246. Wow! I had mustard?Copy !req
247. Rough day, Apu.Copy !req
248. Pump me a Squishee
and don't spare the syrup.Copy !req
249. Perhaps you'd like to try an experimental
flavor of my own concoction...Copy !req
250. A delicious chutney Squishee.Copy !req
251. Okay.Copy !req
252. You can really taste
the chutney.Copy !req
253. Otto man?Copy !req
254. You're living in a dumpster?Copy !req
255. Man, I wish.Copy !req
256. Dumpster brand trash bins
are top-of-the-line.Copy !req
257. This is just a Trash-co
waste disposal unit.Copy !req
258. Otto, why don't you
come home with me?Copy !req
259. You can stay in our garage.Copy !req
260. A garage!Copy !req
261. Somebody up there likes me.Copy !req
262. Whoo!Copy !req
263. Hey.Copy !req
264. Bart, what's going on?Copy !req
265. Mom, I thought you might forgetCopy !req
266. our little conversation
this afternoon,Copy !req
267. so I took the precaution
of recording it.Copy !req
268. What conversation?Copy !req
269. Mom, can Otto live in our
garage for as long as he wants?Copy !req
270. He sure can.Copy !req
271. Marge, what were you thinking?Copy !req
272. That's not my voice.Copy !req
273. Everybody says thatCopy !req
274. when they hear
themselves on tape.Copy !req
275. I don't understand this.Copy !req
276. Why can't you stay
with your parents?Copy !req
277. The admiral and I
don't get along.Copy !req
278. Please, let me stay here.
I've got nowhere else to go.Copy !req
279. Forget it... that line
didn't work for my DadCopy !req
280. and it's not gonna work for you.Copy !req
281. Dad, Otto's going through
a real tough time.Copy !req
282. Can't he stay with us
for a while?Copy !req
283. I know we didn't ask
for this, Homer,Copy !req
284. but doesn't the Bible sayCopy !req
285. "whatsoever you do
to the least of my brothersCopy !req
286. that you do unto me"?Copy !req
287. Yes, but doesn't
the Bible also sayCopy !req
288. "Thou shalt not take...
moochers into thy... hut"?Copy !req
289. Please, Dad?Copy !req
290. If you let Otto stay,Copy !req
291. he'll help around the houseCopy !req
292. and chip in a few bucks
whenever he can.Copy !req
293. All right, he can stay.Copy !req
294. But I get to treat him
like garbage.Copy !req
295. Wow, what's the catch?Copy !req
296. The can of corn costs... 57¢!Copy !req
297. I could sure go
for a can of corn.Copy !req
298. Otto you can't just sit
there watching TV all day.Copy !req
299. You know, you're right.Copy !req
300. I should do a little reading.Copy !req
301. You got any of those
"Where's Waldo" books?Copy !req
302. - No.
- How about anything writtenCopy !req
303. - from the vampire's point of view?
- No.Copy !req
304. How about anything where guysCopy !req
305. send in naked pictures
of their chicks?Copy !req
306. Otto, I think you
should get a job.Copy !req
307. Look, the only thing
I was ever good atCopy !req
308. was driving a busCopy !req
309. and now "the man" says
I need a piece of paper to do that.Copy !req
310. So get that piece of paper.Copy !req
311. I tried!Copy !req
312. Lord, how I did try.Copy !req
313. Will you knock it off!Copy !req
314. I can't hear myself think.Copy !req
315. I want some peanuts.Copy !req
316. That's better.Copy !req
317. Hey, how come you never play
your guitar anymore?Copy !req
318. I'll tell you
the truth. Dad.Copy !req
319. I wasn't good at it
right away, so I quit.Copy !req
320. I hope you're not mad.Copy !req
321. Son, come here.Copy !req
322. Of course I'm not mad.Copy !req
323. If something's hard to do,
then it's not worth doing.Copy !req
324. You just stick that guitar
in the closetCopy !req
325. next to your shortwave radioCopy !req
326. your karate outfit,
and your unicycleCopy !req
327. and we'll go inside
and watch TV.Copy !req
328. - What's on?
- It doesn't matter.Copy !req
329. Open up! Open up!Copy !req
330. I got to go, and no fooling.Copy !req
331. Hey, pop-n-fresh!Copy !req
332. You're supposed to giggle.Copy !req
333. That guy has got to go.Copy !req
334. I know how you feel.Copy !req
335. But he is good with the kids.Copy !req
336. So the lady drove faster,
but the strange carCopy !req
337. kept banging into her
from behind.Copy !req
338. So, finally,
she swerved off the roadCopy !req
339. into the woodsCopy !req
340. and lost the other carCopy !req
341. and that's when she realizedCopy !req
342. the man in the other car
wasn't trying to hurt her.Copy !req
343. No... he was trying
to warn her...Copy !req
344. about the ax-wielding maniac
hiding in her back seat!Copy !req
345. Did the maniac kill her?Copy !req
346. Natch. You know how I know?Copy !req
347. How?Copy !req
348. Because...Copy !req
349. I was that maniac.Copy !req
350. Hey, I was just kidding.Copy !req
351. That's it.
He's out of here.Copy !req
352. But Homer, we're the only
family he's got.Copy !req
353. I don't care.Copy !req
354. This is not Happy Days,
and he is not The Fonz.Copy !req
355. Hey-y-y, Mr. S.Copy !req
356. Listen, you drain-clogging,
last-cookie-eating,Copy !req
357. collect-call-getting sponge.Copy !req
358. I want you out of my house.Copy !req
359. - Heavy.
- What are you gonna do, Otto?Copy !req
360. Don't worry.Copy !req
361. There's plenty
of money out thereCopy !req
362. for a guy who knows
how to fake his own death.Copy !req
363. Well, before you do that,Copy !req
364. maybe you should take
the driving test again.Copy !req
365. I can't pass that thing.Copy !req
366. I got a zero last time.Copy !req
367. This time I'm hungover.Copy !req
368. You can do it, Otto.Copy !req
369. You're the coolest adult
I ever met.Copy !req
370. Wow. I've never been called
an adult before.Copy !req
371. I've been tried as one, but...Copy !req
372. I'll do it.Copy !req
373. "Alcohol increases
your ability to drive."Copy !req
374. False?Copy !req
375. Man!Copy !req
376. I don't know about this,
Bart dude.Copy !req
377. Your Dad is right.Copy !req
378. I am a bum.Copy !req
379. He didn't call you a bum.Copy !req
380. He called you a sponge.Copy !req
381. Sponge?Copy !req
382. Does this look like something
a sponge would do?Copy !req
383. I'll show him who's a sponge.Copy !req
384. Well, if it isn't
Wee Willy Washout.Copy !req
385. I want to take the test again.Copy !req
386. Why?Copy !req
387. So I can staple my licenseCopy !req
388. to Homer Simpson's
big bald head!Copy !req
389. Really? Well, here's
your written test.Copy !req
390. I'll get you started.Copy !req
391. "B,"C,"D,"
"A,"B..."Copy !req
392. Homer had a piece of food
on his face for three days.Copy !req
393. It wasn't little either.Copy !req
394. It was a chicken wing.Copy !req
395. Wing!Copy !req
396. Ooh, what was that?Copy !req
397. It doesn't matter.
Let's get some margaritas.Copy !req
398. I'm buying.Copy !req
399. Otto!Copy !req
400. That's what
my driver's license says.Copy !req
401. Yes, hail to the bus driver,Copy !req
402. bus driver man.Copy !req
403. Shh!Copy !req
404. ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.Copy !req