1. D'Copy !req
2. Aah!Copy !req
3. Hey, what gives?Copy !req
4. You said you wanted to live
in a world without zinc, Jimmy.Copy !req
5. Well, now your car
has no battery.Copy !req
6. But I promised Betty
I'd pick her up by six.Copy !req
7. I better give her a call.Copy !req
8. Sorry, Jimmy.Copy !req
9. Without zinc
for the rotary mechanismCopy !req
10. there are no telephones.Copy !req
11. Dear God.Copy !req
12. What have I done?Copy !req
13. Think again, Jimmy.Copy !req
14. You see, the firing pin
in your gun was made of...Copy !req
15. yup... zinc.Copy !req
16. Come back, zinc.Copy !req
17. Come back!Copy !req
18. Come back.Copy !req
19. Zinc, come back.Copy !req
20. Zinc!Copy !req
21. Zinc, zinc!Copy !req
22. What?Copy !req
23. It was all a dream.Copy !req
24. Thank goodness I still live
in a world of telephonesCopy !req
25. car batteries, handguns,
and many thingsCopy !req
26. made of zinc.Copy !req
27. Gross! He's picking his nose.Copy !req
28. Hmph!Copy !req
29. If anyone wants to learn
more about zinc,Copy !req
30. they're welcome to stay.Copy !req
31. We can talk about anything.Copy !req
32. I'll do your homework for you.Copy !req
33. "Chef Lonely Heart's
Soup for One."Copy !req
34. One scratch and win, Apu.Copy !req
35. Mrs. Krabappel,
I haven't seen youCopy !req
36. since we doubled our prices.Copy !req
37. Still teaching?Copy !req
38. Let's see.Copy !req
39. One more day at least.Copy !req
40. Bingo, bango,
sugar in the gas tank.Copy !req
41. Your ex-husband strikes again.Copy !req
42. A personal ad?Copy !req
43. Why not?Copy !req
44. It might be fun.Copy !req
45. Kind of a lark.Copy !req
46. Come on, come on.Copy !req
47. Answer the phone.Copy !req
48. I need a man!Copy !req
49. My eyeball!Copy !req
50. Enough, people.Copy !req
51. People?Copy !req
52. All right.Copy !req
53. You know, I can wait
just as long as you.Copy !req
54. Knock it off!Copy !req
55. Now, boys and girls,Copy !req
56. let's welcome
our very special guest,Copy !req
57. Ted Carpenter from
the Twirl King Yo-yo Company.Copy !req
58. Kids, this is a yo-yo.Copy !req
59. Kind of dull?Copy !req
60. Not much competition
for a video game...Copy !req
61. or is it?Copy !req
62. Presenting
the Twirl King Champions!Copy !req
63. Mr. Amazing!Copy !req
64. Sparkle!Copy !req
65. She's beautiful.Copy !req
66. Zero gravity!Copy !req
67. The Cobra!Copy !req
68. These guys must be millionaires.Copy !req
69. I'll bet they get
all kinds of girls.Copy !req
70. I question the educational
value of this assembly.Copy !req
71. Hey, it will be one of
their few pleasant memoriesCopy !req
72. when they're pumping gas
for a living.Copy !req
73. Now, for our next stunt,
what do you sayCopy !req
74. - we get your principal up here?
- No.Copy !req
75. Careful now...Copy !req
76. That one grazed my ear.Copy !req
77. Don't move.Copy !req
78. You could really get hurt.Copy !req
79. How much do those yo-yo's cost?Copy !req
80. I don't care.Copy !req
81. Wow!Copy !req
82. Thanks, Sparkle.Copy !req
83. Wait...Copy !req
84. This isn't you.Copy !req
85. That's the old Sparkle.Copy !req
86. All right, get your
worthless butts in the van.Copy !req
87. We got three more schools to do.Copy !req
88. C'mon, let's go, go, go!Copy !req
89. That's your trick?Copy !req
90. No. Here's my trick.
Hoowah!Copy !req
91. - Whoa!
- Whoa!Copy !req
92. Thank you.
Thank you.Copy !req
93. Marge, come here.Copy !req
94. Can you believe it?Copy !req
95. Pretty soon, I'll be able
to quit my jobCopy !req
96. and live off the boy.Copy !req
97. What? Name me one personCopy !req
98. who's gotten rich
by doing yo-yo tricks.Copy !req
99. Donald Trump? No.Copy !req
100. Arnold Palmer? No.Copy !req
101. Bill Cosby? No.Copy !req
102. D'Copy !req
103. "After two months at sea,Copy !req
104. the Pilgrims were running out
of food and water."Copy !req
105. Yes, Nelson?Copy !req
106. Did they have any yo-yos?Copy !req
107. No, they did not have yo-yos.Copy !req
108. "When they landed
at Plymouth Rock,Copy !req
109. they were greeted by
the friendly Wompanog Indians."Copy !req
110. Did the Indians have yo-yos?Copy !req
111. No, they did not have yo-yos!Copy !req
112. That's it!
I am sick and tiredCopy !req
113. of talking about yo-yos.Copy !req
114. From now on, I will not
accept any book reportCopy !req
115. science projects, dioramas,Copy !req
116. or anything else on yo-yos,
or yo-yo related topics.Copy !req
117. Am I making myself clear?Copy !req
118. Yo.Copy !req
119. Hey, Bart,Copy !req
120. got any new tricks for us today?Copy !req
121. Just one.Copy !req
122. A little something I call
"Plucking the Pickle."Copy !req
123. I build up a little steam,
and...Copy !req
124. I didn't do it.Copy !req
125. Don't worry
about your wee fish, lass.Copy !req
126. They're going to a better place.Copy !req
127. Bart, that's one month's
detention.Copy !req
128. Mrs. Krabappel, we're all upsetCopy !req
129. by the untimely deaths
of Stinky and WrinklesCopy !req
130. but life goes on.Copy !req
131. So, if I could just have
my yo-yo back...Copy !req
132. Bart, if I were you,
and you were me,Copy !req
133. would you give back the yo-yo?Copy !req
134. Here you go...
just kidding.Copy !req
135. Here you go...Copy !req
136. Just kidding.Copy !req
137. Well, would you?Copy !req
138. Absolutely.Copy !req
139. P-hih!Copy !req
140. What's eating you, woman?Copy !req
141. Your personal ad said
you wanted a man.Copy !req
142. You got yourself a hum-dinger.Copy !req
143. I don't know.
I guess I expectedCopy !req
144. something different
from your photo.Copy !req
145. Don't let my age fool you.Copy !req
146. Just because there's a little
snow on the roof...Copy !req
147. I forget how the rest
of that goes.Copy !req
148. One month's detention.Copy !req
149. She'll pay for this.Copy !req
150. Yup, there's your problem.Copy !req
151. Someone jammed
a Malibu Stacy head down here.Copy !req
152. Edna, happy hour
in the teacher's lounge.Copy !req
153. Just a sec.Copy !req
154. "One plus one equals two?"Copy !req
155. "Write Edna K. Box 402."Copy !req
156. Dear Edna...Copy !req
157. I never answered
a personal ad beforeCopy !req
158. but I found yours irresistible.Copy !req
159. My name is...Copy !req
160. Woodrow.Copy !req
161. I like holding handsCopy !req
162. and dinner by candlelightCopy !req
163. and yes, I really hate yo-yos.Copy !req
164. Woodrow!Copy !req
165. Maybe we should let the dog in.Copy !req
166. Marge, dogs love the outdoors.Copy !req
167. I think he needs a doghouse.Copy !req
168. Yeah, but what are ya' gonna do?Copy !req
169. I bet we could buy
a nice doghouse for $50.Copy !req
170. Marge, you're a tool
of the doghouse makers.Copy !req
171. I am not.Copy !req
172. Yes, you are.Copy !req
173. You've been brainwashedCopy !req
174. by all those doghouse
commercials on TV.Copy !req
175. I know. I'll build
him a doghouse.Copy !req
176. I don't know.Copy !req
177. Don't worry.Copy !req
178. I just drew up
a little blueprint.Copy !req
179. Let me walk you through it.Copy !req
180. This is a door.Copy !req
181. He goes through that...Copy !req
182. This is a roof.Copy !req
183. And this happy character here
is the Sun.Copy !req
184. He shines down
on the house, see?Copy !req
185. How was detention today, dear?Copy !req
186. Not bad.Copy !req
187. I'm starting to get
the hang of the floor-waxer.Copy !req
188. Yes!Copy !req
189. Dear Woodrow,Copy !req
190. I must admit I'm intrigued.
You're not likeCopy !req
191. the other men I've met.Copy !req
192. Yeah, I'm the 28th president
of the United States.Copy !req
193. But I've had some bad
experiences with these ads.Copy !req
194. So, I'd like to learn more about you,
please write back soon.Copy !req
195. Here's a photo that will
get your pencil moving.Copy !req
196. You've got a date
with the Xerox machine.Copy !req
197. Stupid lumber.Copy !req
198. Damn it!Copy !req
199. D'I...Copy !req
200. The hell with this!Copy !req
201. A fellow came in to the store today,
asked for change for a dollar.Copy !req
202. Well, sir, I gave him three
quarters by mistake.Copy !req
203. Took me the whole afternoon
to track him down.Copy !req
204. Todd, would you like
some mixed vegetables?Copy !req
205. Hell no.Copy !req
206. What did you say?Copy !req
207. I said, I don't want
any damn vegetables.Copy !req
208. All right, that's it, young man!Copy !req
209. No Bible stories for you
tonight.Copy !req
210. Weren't you
a little hard on him?Copy !req
211. Well, you knew I had a temperCopy !req
212. when you married me.Copy !req
213. Ned Flanders is on the phone.Copy !req
214. If this is about
that stupid quarter again, I...Copy !req
215. Hello, Ned.Copy !req
216. Sorry to bother you, Reverend Lovejoy,
but I'm kind of in a tizzy...Copy !req
217. Our son Todd just told usCopy !req
218. he didn't want to eat
his "damn vegetables."Copy !req
219. Well, you know
kids and vegetables.Copy !req
220. What was it, asparagus?Copy !req
221. No, no, Reverend.Copy !req
222. The point is he said a bad word.Copy !req
223. Right.Copy !req
224. Well, kids usually pick
these things up from someplace.Copy !req
225. Find out who's doing it
and direct them to the Bible.Copy !req
226. Where in the Bible?Copy !req
227. - Page 900.
- But, Rev...Copy !req
228. Damn Flanders.Copy !req
229. Hey, Lis, a moment of your time.Copy !req
230. Yeah?Copy !req
231. Suppose I was writing
a second letter to a girlCopy !req
232. and I already used up
my "A" material.Copy !req
233. What should I say?Copy !req
234. Ooh, could it be
there's a special someoneCopy !req
235. you're not telling me about?Copy !req
236. Please!Copy !req
237. - Is it Teri?
- No.Copy !req
238. - Is it Sheri?
- No!Copy !req
239. Is it that girl
with the lazy eye patch?Copy !req
240. No!Copy !req
241. Is it that exchange student
Mix-pa?Copy !req
242. No! It's not for me.Copy !req
243. It's... homework.Copy !req
244. Sure it is.Copy !req
245. Hey, Bart,
let's do some homework.Copy !req
246. Golly, Sergeant Carter,
I can't fix your Jeep,Copy !req
247. but maybe this
will make it up to you.Copy !req
248. Is this all he watches?Copy !req
249. He used to watch
"Davy and Goliath"Copy !req
250. but he thought the idea
of a talking dogCopy !req
251. was blasphemous.Copy !req
252. Hey, Mom, did you save
the love letters Dad sent you?Copy !req
253. Of course I saved them.Copy !req
254. Well, actually, there's only oneCopy !req
255. and it's moreCopy !req
256. of a love postcard
from some brewery he visited.Copy !req
257. "Maybe it's
the beer talking, Marge,Copy !req
258. "but you've got a butt
that won't quit.Copy !req
259. They got these big,
chewy pretzels here..."Copy !req
260. "five dollars?
Get outta here."Copy !req
261. Wow, a side of Dad
I've never seen!Copy !req
262. Penny for your thoughts, Miss K.Copy !req
263. I was just thinking...Copy !req
264. You wouldn't be interested.Copy !req
265. Try me.
Sometimes it helps to talk.Copy !req
266. Well, I was just wishing
I could meet a manCopy !req
267. who likes the way I look
first thing in the morningCopy !req
268. Laughs at my jokes...Copy !req
269. - Can fix my car.
- Yeah.Copy !req
270. "Dear Edna, your photo
took my breath away.Copy !req
271. "Truly, yours
is a butt that won't quit.Copy !req
272. "Yesterday morning,Copy !req
273. "I put your picture up
in my garageCopy !req
274. to inspire me while I
gapped my spark plugs."Copy !req
275. At last,
we've built the mission.Copy !req
276. Finally, the villagers
have a place to pray.Copy !req
277. Well, he's not getting it
from his brotherCopy !req
278. that's for darn sure.Copy !req
279. Damn crappy nails!Copy !req
280. Super Glue, my butt!Copy !req
281. D'You bas...Copy !req
282. Hit it! Shot! D'Copy !req
283. Homer?Copy !req
284. What is it, Flanders?Copy !req
285. I'm afraid I have a bone
to pick with you.Copy !req
286. Look, if it's about your camcorder,
I lost it, okay?Copy !req
287. No, I came to talk to you
about your potty mouth.Copy !req
288. What the hell
are you talking about?Copy !req
289. Look, Homer, all of us pull
a few boners now and then...Copy !req
290. Go off half-cocked,
make asses of ourselves.Copy !req
291. So, I don't want
to be hard on you butCopy !req
292. I just wish you wouldn't curse
in front of my boys.Copy !req
293. Come on now, Flanders.Copy !req
294. I don't complain about your...Copy !req
295. moustache.Copy !req
296. What's wrong with my moustache?Copy !req
297. It makes you look like
you got something to hide.Copy !req
298. What?Copy !req
299. People are talking.
Lots of people.Copy !req
300. Okay, Mister, you've
got yourself a deal.Copy !req
301. I'll shave off the soup-strainerCopy !req
302. if you give the sailor talk
the old heave-ho, okay?Copy !req
303. Aye, aye... Admiral Butthead.Copy !req
304. We now return toCopy !req
305. "Two for Tunisia"
on Colorization Theater.Copy !req
306. My love.Copy !req
307. A million poets could try
for a million yearsCopy !req
308. and still describe but
three-eighths of your beauty.Copy !req
309. Whoa, slow down, Frenchy.Copy !req
310. This stuff is gold.Copy !req
311. Wow! "A million poets working
for a million years..."Copy !req
312. You're so lucky.Copy !req
313. When are you going to meet him?Copy !req
314. First, I ask him
to send a photo.Copy !req
315. If he's got everything
where it should beCopy !req
316. I'm reeling him in.Copy !req
317. Strap on your skates, Gordie.Copy !req
318. You're going in.Copy !req
319. Hey, Marge, do you want
to hear something funny?Copy !req
320. Flanders thinks
I swear too much.Copy !req
321. Marge, you're not laughing.Copy !req
322. Well, you know,
maybe he's right.Copy !req
323. Well, what a surprise.Copy !req
324. Marge sticks up for Flanders.Copy !req
325. Can we have one conversationCopy !req
326. where you don't bring up
your hero Ned Flanders?Copy !req
327. Actually Homer,
you brought up Ned Flanders.Copy !req
328. Look, we're past that.Copy !req
329. Marge!
Maybe I do curse a little,Copy !req
330. but that's the way God made me,
and I'm too old to stop now.Copy !req
331. No, you're not.Copy !req
332. When my father got
out of the Navy,Copy !req
333. he used to curse a blue streak.Copy !req
334. It almost cost him his job
as a baby photographer.Copy !req
335. So my Mom put a swear jar
in the kitchen.Copy !req
336. Every time he said a bad word,Copy !req
337. he put in a quarter.
What do you think?Copy !req
338. Well, Marge,Copy !req
339. self-improvement has always
been a passion of mine.Copy !req
340. Bring on the swear jar.Copy !req
341. Do I have to pay
if I hit my hand with a hammer?Copy !req
342. Yes, Homer.Copy !req
343. - What if I catch on fire?
- No, Homer.Copy !req
344. What if I see something
really weird in the sky?Copy !req
345. Yes, Homer.Copy !req
346. - What about when we snuggle?
- That's okay.Copy !req
347. "Dear Woodrow, it's time for us to meet.Copy !req
348. "Why don't we go out to dinner?Copy !req
349. And afterward, we can go to
my apartment for some home cookin'."Copy !req
350. Ay, caramba!Copy !req
351. "Hungrily yours, Edna."Copy !req
352. Well, she's dangled
on the line long enough.Copy !req
353. It's time to boat this bass.Copy !req
354. "When I read your letters, I feel
as if you are right here watching me."Copy !req
355. - Bart! Eyes down.
- Yes, Ma'am.Copy !req
356. "Edna, every second until we meetCopy !req
357. "stabs me like
a thousand needles.Copy !req
358. "Join me at
the Gilded Truffle this Saturday at 8:00.Copy !req
359. "Perhaps later
we will smooch up a storm.Copy !req
360. Sexily yours, Woody."Copy !req
361. I can't help but feel
partly responsible.Copy !req
362. - Homer, that was a 20.
- Da...Copy !req
363. You son of a...Copy !req
364. Homer, I owe you one, buddy.Copy !req
365. No sooner had I shaved off
the old cookie dusterCopy !req
366. than a lady cast me
in a commercial.Copy !req
367. I tell ya' the way these checks
keep coming in... it's almost criminal.Copy !req
368. You dirty bast...Copy !req
369. What do you think, Lisa?Copy !req
370. How's the dog
supposed to get in?Copy !req
371. Well, he just goes...Copy !req
372. Woodrow,
how could you stand me up?Copy !req
373. Mrs. K., whoever this guy is,
you don't need him.Copy !req
374. There are plenty
of good men around.Copy !req
375. Name one.Copy !req
376. What's wrong
with Principal Skinner?Copy !req
377. Seymour? Hmph.Copy !req
378. Let's just say his mommy
won't let him out to play.Copy !req
379. What about Coach Fortner?Copy !req
380. Glug, glug, glug, glug...Copy !req
381. Wow.Copy !req
382. What about Groundskeeper Willy?Copy !req
383. I'm not even gonna tell
you what that guy's into.Copy !req
384. Bart, you are the closest
thing to a man in my life.Copy !req
385. And that's so depressing,
I think I'm going to cry.Copy !req
386. Aah..!Copy !req
387. Fudge... that's broken.Copy !req
388. Fiddle-dee-dee.Copy !req
389. That will require
a tetanus shot.Copy !req
390. I'm not going to swearCopy !req
391. but I am goingCopy !req
392. to kick this doghouse down!Copy !req
393. Dad, this is not
a commentary on your skills,Copy !req
394. but we bought you
a new doghouse.Copy !req
395. Where'd you get the money?Copy !req
396. There was more than enough
in the swear jar,Copy !req
397. and if you look inside the doghouse,
there's a little surprise.Copy !req
398. Maggie.Copy !req
399. Cute.Copy !req
400. No, behind her.Copy !req
401. Beer!
How did you know?Copy !req
402. Where's Maggie?
Where's Maggie?Copy !req
403. There's Maggie!Copy !req
404. Mom, this is a little
ahead of scheduleCopy !req
405. but I need help
with my love life.Copy !req
406. My special little guy
has a sweetheart.Copy !req
407. I knew it!Copy !req
408. Alright Bart,
who's your girlfriend?Copy !req
409. Mrs. Krabappel.Copy !req
410. Bart, this is your teacher?Copy !req
411. I should start going
to parent's night.Copy !req
412. Homer!Copy !req
413. Bart, you did a
very cruel thing.Copy !req
414. Boy, you've got to go
to your teacherCopy !req
415. and tell her the truth.Copy !req
416. No, Homer. The truth
would humiliate her.Copy !req
417. Marge, I only said it because I thought
that's what you wanted to hear.Copy !req
418. Maybe we should
write her another letterCopy !req
419. One that says good-bye,
but let's her feel loved.Copy !req
420. Step aside, everyone.Copy !req
421. Sensitive love letters
are my specialty.Copy !req
422. "Dear Baby,
Welcome to Dumpville.Copy !req
423. you."Copy !req
424. We'll all help.Copy !req
425. "Though I'll be inoculating
babies in Kampuchea,Copy !req
426. my heart will
always be with you."Copy !req
427. That sucks.Copy !req
428. How about "crocodiles
bit off my face"?Copy !req
429. That's disgusting, and besides,Copy !req
430. when a woman loves a man,Copy !req
431. it doesn't matter that
a crocodile bit off his face.Copy !req
432. I may hold you to that, Marge.Copy !req
433. Okay, okay. "I cannot see you
for the next five years,Copy !req
434. for I will be farming
the ocean floor."Copy !req
435. "I must finish
this letter quickly,Copy !req
436. for I have only
four minutes to live."Copy !req
437. Three simple words:
"I am gay."Copy !req
438. Homer, for the last time,
I am not putting that in.Copy !req
439. "And anytime I hear
the wind blow,Copy !req
440. it will whisper the name...
Edna."Copy !req
441. That's very good, Lisa.Copy !req
442. I am gay."Copy !req
443. How shall we end it?Copy !req
444. How about, "With a love that
will echo through the ages."Copy !req
445. - Aww.
- Ooh!Copy !req
446. That's sweet.Copy !req
447. Homer, you old honey dripper.Copy !req
448. Why, you little...
hee, hee.Copy !req
449. Wait!Copy !req
450. Wait!Copy !req
451. "Dearest Edna, I must leave you.Copy !req
452. "Why? I cannot say.Copy !req
453. "Where? You cannot know.Copy !req
454. "How I will get there?Copy !req
455. "I haven't decided yet.Copy !req
456. "But one thing I can tell you,Copy !req
457. "any time I hear the wind blow,Copy !req
458. it will whisper
the name... Edna."Copy !req
459. Bart, it's such
a nice day today,Copy !req
460. let's have detention outside.Copy !req
461. It's a date.Copy !req
462. Shh!Copy !req
463. ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.Copy !req