The Simpsons 3x12

Directed by Jeffrey Lynch

A trip down memory lane to the early days of Simpson wedded bliss, when Marge was with child and Homer was without a job.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. D'

2. Aah!

3. Ain't that cute?

4. Hey! Where in God's name did you learn that kind of...

5. dancing?

6. Whoa.

7. Ooh.

8. Yeah.

9. Dad, can I have some money

10. to buy Bart a birthday present?

11. Money.

12. Dad, this is $110.

13. - Sorry. - That's very righteous.

14. Funky See, Funky Do will be back to lip sync

15. another one of their hits right after this.

16. Hey, kids, why sit in front of the TV

17. when you can be on the radio?

18. That could be Bart.

19. Throw away your bulky transmitters

20. and broadcasting towers.

21. The Superstar Celebrity Microphone

22. lets you hear your voice through any A.M. radio.

23. Hey, good-looking,

24. we'll be back to pick you up later.

25. He's in for some loving.

26. It's the perfect gift for birthdays, graduations,

27. - board meetings. - You're fired.

28. Bart's birthday's coming up.

29. But order now, supply is limited.

30. Limited?

31. Do you have any of those microphones left?

32. Yeah, a couple.

33. You know, Marge,

34. Bart's really going to like my birthday present this year.

35. It won't be like those shoe trees

36. I got him last year

37. or the shelf paper I bought him for Christmas.

38. - I'll buy his love yet. - Yeah.

39. Okay, Sideshow Mel, bring out the birthday cake.

40. Hey, kids, while Sideshow Mel mops up,

41. Let's see the names of our Krusty birthday pals for today.

42. All right, here comes my name.

43. Wow. Best eight bucks I ever spent.

44. Bart, your Grampa's on the phone.

45. He wants to wish you a happy birthday.

46. Isn't that nice?

47. Take a message.

48. Right now, I'm off to hit 46 local merchants

49. for free birthday goods and services.

50. I'm here for my free birthday sundae.

51. Eat it and get out.

52. Digital audio tape, my butt.

53. When I was a kid, we had compact discs,

54. and I don't recall no one complaining.

55. Damn right.

56. Sorry, Rosarita.

57. I got to get to my birthday party.

58. Farewell, Señor Bart.

59. Hey, good to see you. Glad you could make it.

60. Toby, have you lost weight?

61. Here comes trouble.

62. It's Wall E.!

63. Hey, Wall E., do something funny.

64. Hey, later, okay?

65. Hey, why don't you go bug your parents?

66. Cool, Larry the Looter.

67. All right, stick it to the man.

68. Hey, there. I hear it's your birthday.

69. - How old are you? - Well, I'm...

70. That's great. Would you like us to sing you a special song?

71. - Hell no. - You got it.

72. Ready, Señor Beaveratti?

73. I'm a-ready.

74. And a-one, and a-two...

75. What the...

76. It's a label maker.

77. We have one at home.

78. Before we got it, I was always finding

79. Patty's stubble in my leg razor.

80. Bart, I'll bet you think

81. nothing's going to top that cactus.

82. Well, check out my present.

83. - Next. - Bart, be polite.

84. - Next, please. - Bart, I've noticed

85. your birthday presents are a poor crop at best.

86. I hope this turns the tide.

87. Ooh, just gorgeous.

88. Now we can be twins.

89. Aw, there's only one can of beer left, and it's Bart's.

90. Hey, boy, how's the microphone working?

91. Fine.

92. Bart! I would love to get a present like that.

93. Here you go. Enjoy.

94. D'

95. Listen boy, this is a great invention. Watch.

96. Quit it, Dad!

97. Hey, good-looking,

98. we'll be back for some dinner later.

99. What did you say?

100. I can't understand you with all that distortion.

101. What a crappy birthday.

102. You know Bart, I don't think this is such a bad present.

103. Maybe you just shouldn't talk into it as loud as your father does.

104. Testing.

105. Testing one-two-three.

106. My.

107. Do I sound like that?

108. Hey, it does work.

109. I bet you could have a lot of fun with this.

110. Why don't you go show your father?

111. Chocolate.

112. D'

113. Chocolate.

114. D'

115. Marge, we need some more

116. vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry ice cream.

117. I'll get some at the store tomorrow, Homer.

118. Chocolate.

119. People of earth, this is Bartron...

120. Commander of the Martian invasion force.

121. Your planet is in our hands.

122. Resistance is useless.

123. We have captured your president.

124. He was delicious.

125. Why, you little...

126. Wait a minute.

127. Does this mean you like my present?

128. Just promise me

129. you won't play any more practical jokes.

130. I promise.

131. Mama. Mama.

132. Maggie, you talked!

133. Can you say "mama" again?

134. Sorry, lady.

135. Show's over.

136. Bart.

137. I dreamed I was married to Corey,

138. and we lived on a pony farm,

139. and Corey was always walking around

140. with his shirt off.

141. Brother.

142. Mrs. Krabapple, that was uncalled for.

143. Bravo!

144. Well done, old man.

145. Rod, Todd, this is God.

146. How did you get on the radio?

147. What do you mean, "how did I get on the radio"?

148. I created the universe, stupid kids.

149. Forgive my brother.

150. We believe you.

151. Talk is cheap.

152. Perhaps a test of thy faith.

153. Walk through the wall.

154. I will remove it for you...

155. later.

156. What do you want from us?

157. I got a job for thee.

158. Bring forth all the cookies from your kitchen

159. and leave them on the Simpsons' porch.

160. But those cookies belong to our parents.

161. Look, do you want a happy God

162. - or a vengeful God? - Happy God.

163. Then quit flapping your lip, and make with the cookies!

164. - Yes, sir. - Yes, sir.

165. Whoops.

166. Help! Help!

167. Sounds like trouble a-brewing at the old well!

168. Help me, please.

169. I fell down the well!

170. I'll get help, laddie.

171. A little nip of courage.

172. Out of my way!

173. Look out, you horse's arse!

174. Sucker.

175. Hey, what's up?

176. Some poor kid fell down a well.

177. Yes!

178. My name is Timmy O'Toole.

179. I just turned ten years old.

180. Timmy, where are your parents?

181. I have no family.

182. I tried to enroll in school,

183. but your Principal Skinner turned me away

184. because of my shabby clothes.

185. He's a liar.

186. The circumference of the well is 34 inches.

187. So, unfortunately,

188. not one member of our city's police force

189. is slender enough to rescue the boy.

190. By God, men, you're a bunch of marshmallows.

191. Why don't you go, Chief?

192. Well, I'm too f...

193. important.

194. Although the well is too dark to see the boy,

195. Timmy has told us his foot is trapped under a rock.

196. Thus any attempt to pull him up

197. would snap him like a twig.

198. In desperation, the city is considering

199. more unorthodox solutions.

200. Grasping the child firmly in his talons,

201. Socrates here will fly him to safety.

202. Just watch.

203. I don't think he's coming back.

204. With this hook and this hunk of chocolate,

205. I'll land your boy,

206. and I'll clean him for free.

207. Although we can't reach the boy,

208. we can freeze him with liquid nitrogen

209. so that future generations can rescue him.

210. Dear Lord, before we peel the foil back from your bounty,

211. we ask you to watch over little Timmy O'Toole

212. trapped in that well.

213. Bart, what's wrong with you?

214. Yeah, that Timmy is a real hero.

215. How do you mean, Dad?

216. Well, he fell down a well and can't get out.

217. How does that make him a hero?

218. Well, it's more than you did.

219. And finally, Channel 6's own Krusty the Clown

220. has gathered members of the entertainment community,

221. who normally steer clear of fashionable causes,

222. for a video called

223. "We're Sending Our Love Down the Well."

224. I wanted to do something to help that boy.

225. So I called my good friend Sting.

226. He said "Krusty, when do you need me?"

227. I said, "Thursday."

228. He said, "I'm busy Thursday."

229. I said, "What about Friday?"

230. He said, "Friday's worse than Thursday."

231. Then he said, "How about Saturday?"

232. I said "Fine."

233. True story.

234. Yeah. I used to open for Krusty in '69.

235. In fact, he fired me as I recall.

236. Sting.

237. But this isn't about show business.

238. This is about some kid down a hole or something.

239. And we've all got to do what we can.

240. Krusty, what are your plans for the royalties?

241. Well, we got to pay for promotion, shipping,

242. distribution.

243. You know, those limos out back, they aren't free.

244. Whatever's left, we throw down the well.

245. Authentic Timmy O'Toole baby teeth.

246. $6.00 a bag.

247. Step to the rear.

248. Plenty of room in the back.

249. Aw.

250. Drop that microphone.

251. Drop it, boy!

252. This is a special report from Channel 6 News.

253. Disturbing news from the Old Town well

254. where young Timmy O'Toole

255. has apparently taken a turn for the worse.

256. It's very simple, Kent.

257. The child is reverting to a feral

258. or wolf-like state. Here's an artist's conception.

259. Bart.

260. I was trying to gnaw my foot off, but...

261. I couldn't get through my sock.

262. Good night, everybody.

263. Bart Simpson!

264. The thought of a boy trapped in a well

265. brought out the kindness and love of the entire community.

266. When they find out you've been fooling them,

267. they're gonna want to cut you up with rusty razors.

268. Yeah? And how are they gonna find out?

269. The police will catch you, sooner or later.

270. The police. They couldn't catch a cold.

271. Maybe not, but I bet you're stupid enough

272. to have left a "Property of Bart Simpson" label on that radio.

273. D'

274. "And Cinderella had

275. "the most beautiful gown at the ball

276. "with eight satin petticoats

277. each more delicate than the last."

278. I think he's asleep.

279. Want to get a cup of coffee?

280. Okay. Brave little guy.

281. Hey. Almost tripped over this thing.

282. What did I do to deserve this?

283. Help! Help!

284. I fell down the well.

285. Tell us something we don't know.

286. No, my name is Bart Simpson.

287. What are you doing down there?

288. Look, I'll level with you.

289. There is no Timmy O'Toole.

290. It was just a prank I was playing on everybody.

291. Well, you sure fooled us, kid.

292. Hey, I got an idea for a prank.

293. Let's go home and go to sleep.

294. Good one, Eddie.

295. Ha, ha. Great joke, guys.

296. Guys?

297. So I'm afraid your son is trapped down the well.

298. You must think we're the worst parents in the world.

299. Yes, that's pretty much the feeling down at the station.

300. Don't worry, son. Just 'cause you're trapped in a hole

301. doesn't mean you can't live a rich and full life.

302. I brought you your Krusty doll.

303. Knock it off, you bald boob!

304. Hey! Don't make me come down there!

305. Like to see you fit.

306. Why you little...

307. Put a man on him.

308. I like the other boy.

309. So polite.

310. What are you doing to save my baby boy?

311. Well, ma'am, we've located a piece of machinery

312. in Shreveport, Louisiana

313. that could pop him out lickety-split.

314. Well, why don't you get it?

315. Well, I'm afraid we've got a budget problem, Mrs. Simpson.

316. Your boy picked a bad time to fall down a well.

317. Had he done it at the start of the fiscal year, no problemo.

318. You're telling me that the city won't pay

319. to get a boy out of a well?

320. Well they would have for Timmy. People love that little guy.

321. But your son, well, he kinda played us all for a bunch of saps.

322. So it seems we've all been the victims of a cruel hoax

323. perpetrated by a ten-year-old hooligan.

324. The time has come for finger pointing,

325. and most of them are squarely aimed

326. at the boy's parents.

327. It's not our fault.

328. We didn't want the boy.

329. He was an accident.

330. Homer!

331. Could you edit that last part out?

332. Mr. Simpson, we're live, coast to coast.

333. D'

334. Hey, stop that!

335. Sorry, Lisa.

336. And our new number one hit, "I Do Believe We're Naked"

337. by Funky See, Funky Do

338. replaces "We're Sending Our Love Down the Well,"

339. which plunges all the way down to number 97.

340. Ever since I called for the rescue

341. of that Simpson lad, I have taken a lot of heat,

342. so I am flip-flopping.

343. I say let him stay down there.

344. Yeah, Shutton here.

345. Now that's a story.

346. Bart, honey, I made you an extra warm sweater

347. you can wear while you're down in the well.

348. Mom, it's too big.

349. Don't worry, you'll grow into it.

350. Homer!

351. You know, I've done

352. a lot of bad stuff through the years.

353. I guess now I'm paying the price,

354. but there's so many things I'll never get a chance to do.

355. Smoke a cigarette,

356. Use a fake I.D.,

357. Shave a swear word in my hair...

358. That's all I can stands. I can't stands no more.

359. I'm going to get you out of there myself.

360. Now why didn't I think of that?

361. Agnes, we've got work to do.

362. This is Kent Brockman with a special bulletin.

363. The Lincoln squirrel has been assassinated.

364. We'll stay with the story all night, if we have to.

365. What's going on?

366. It's an old-fashioned hole digging.

367. By gar, it's been a while.

368. The canary.

369. Gas!

370. Out of the hole!

371. Gentlemen, this canary died of natural causes.

372. Back in the hole!

373. Sting, you look tired.

374. Maybe you should take a rest.

375. Not while one of my fans needs me.

376. Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play one of your albums.

377. Shh! Marge, he's a good digger.

378. Sting!

379. Mom! Dad!

380. Bart, I've missed you so much.

381. Man, I was so scared.

382. Don't worry, son.

383. They're going to make sure

384. no one ever falls down this well again.

385. That should do it.

386. Shh!

387. ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.