1. D'
Copy !req
2. Aah!
Copy !req
3. It's
a breakthrough product, sir,
Copy !req
4. scientifically formulated
to rinse clean with
Copy !req
5. no oily deposits.
Copy !req
6. Hot dog.
Copy !req
7. And it's mild enough
to use every day.
Copy !req
8. Isn't life grand?
Copy !req
9. What's wrong, sir?
Did I get some in your eyes?
Copy !req
10. The shampoo specifically said,
"no more tears."
Copy !req
11. A lovely promise
Copy !req
12. but one beyond the powers
of a mere shampoo.
Copy !req
13. Sir, I feel there's something
you're not telling me.
Copy !req
14. Perhaps you'd feel
more comfortable
Copy !req
15. talking to Snappy the Alligator.
Copy !req
16. Maybe.
Copy !req
17. Hello, Mr. Burns.
Copy !req
18. Snappy, you know it's hard
to imagine
Copy !req
19. but I was once a barefoot boy
with cheek of tan.
Copy !req
20. I dreamed
of grand slam home runs
Copy !req
21. and wiping out nations
with the stroke of a pen.
Copy !req
22. There's still time for
all those things, sir.
Copy !req
23. Is there?
Copy !req
24. Controlled nuclear fission is
a demanding mistress, Snappy.
Copy !req
25. So you feel resentful
towards the plant?
Copy !req
26. Yes! Yes, exactly!
Copy !req
27. You know, maybe it's time
I sold the old girl.
Copy !req
28. D'
Copy !req
29. What do they want?
Copy !req
30. Maybe a nap
will boost my spirits.
Copy !req
31. I'll get that whale song
cassette you like, sir.
Copy !req
32. It's not fair!
Copy !req
33. I know how you feel, Simpson.
Copy !req
34. I've never seen Mr. Burns
so depressed.
Copy !req
35. I know people think because
he's rich and powerful and cruel
Copy !req
36. he doesn't have feelings
like other men, but he does.
Copy !req
37. And you know what?
Copy !req
38. I bet he wouldn't sell
the plant for $100 million.
Copy !req
39. Ooh, that's a lot of money.
Copy !req
40. D'
Copy !req
41. Mr. Smithers,
Copy !req
42. do you have change for a dollar?
Copy !req
43. Good, good...
Copy !req
44. Try to eat something.
Copy !req
45. Homer Simpson here.
Copy !req
46. Homer, it's your stockbroker.
Copy !req
47. Your stock in the power plant
Copy !req
48. just went up for
the first time in ten years.
Copy !req
49. I own stock?
Copy !req
50. Yes, all the employees got some
Copy !req
51. in exchange for waiving
certain constitutional rights.
Copy !req
52. So, how much did it go up?
Copy !req
53. Wait a minute,
let's not do that yet.
Copy !req
54. The book says we have
to make a little small talk
Copy !req
55. before you get down to business.
Copy !req
56. - Everybody alive?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
57. - Like any sports?
- Sure.
Copy !req
58. - Ever go dancing?
- Not anymore.
Copy !req
59. - We should get together sometime.
- That'd be great.
Copy !req
60. There, now we trust each other.
Copy !req
61. Well... how are you?
Copy !req
62. Near death.
Copy !req
63. I'm renewing my notary license
on a weekly basis.
Copy !req
64. So what's my stock up to?
Copy !req
65. Let me punch that up
on the computer.
Copy !req
66. 25¢ a share.
Copy !req
67. What should I do?
Copy !req
68. Let me put it this way...
You'll get $25 if you sell now.
Copy !req
69. Sell! Sell! Sell!
Copy !req
70. Whoo-hoo!
Copy !req
71. Twenty-five dollars!
Copy !req
72. Ooh!
Copy !req
73. Hot wax.
Copy !req
74. Ooh.. hammer.
Copy !req
75. Bart, Bart, turn to
the financial channel.
Copy !req
76. Aunt Patty says our stock
is skyrocketing.
Copy !req
77. Unconfirmed takeover rumors
Copy !req
78. have pushed Burns Worldwide
Copy !req
79. from 1/8 to 52 and a quarter.
Copy !req
80. Your father's stock
is worth $5,200!
Copy !req
81. Wow! 5,200 smackers!
Copy !req
82. Oooh!
Copy !req
83. Hey, Homer.
Want a Duff?
Copy !req
84. No, I'd like a bottle
Copy !req
85. of Henry K. Duff's
Private Reserve.
Copy !req
86. Are you sure?
Copy !req
87. 'Cause once I open the bottle,
there's no refund.
Copy !req
88. For your information
Copy !req
89. I just made a cool $25
playing the market.
Copy !req
90. Buy low, sell high...
Copy !req
91. That's my motto.
Copy !req
92. I may just quit my job
at the power plant
Copy !req
93. and become a full-time
stock market guy.
Copy !req
94. Have a Duff, boys!
Copy !req
95. Thank you.
Copy !req
96. My English is not perfect,
but I have to tell you
Copy !req
97. your beer is like swill to us.
Copy !req
98. Do I have that right?
Copy !req
99. I'm saying that only a swine
would drink this beer.
Copy !req
100. Ja, but thank you, anyway.
Copy !req
101. Hey, you guys aren't
from around here, are you?
Copy !req
102. Nein.
We are from Germany.
Copy !req
103. He is from the east;
I am from the west.
Copy !req
104. I had a big company,
and he had a big company.
Copy !req
105. Now we have a very big company.
Copy !req
106. We are interested in
buying the power plant.
Copy !req
107. Do you think your owner
would ever sell it?
Copy !req
108. Well, I happen to know
that he won't sell it
Copy !req
109. for less than $100,000,000.
Copy !req
110. A hundred million?
Copy !req
111. Ein, zwei, drei, vier, funf...
Copy !req
112. Don't worry.
Copy !req
113. We'll still have enough left
to buy the Cleveland Browns.
Copy !req
114. It's the miracle
we've been waiting for.
Copy !req
115. What are we gonna spend it on?
Copy !req
116. Homer's probably buying some
magic beans with it right now.
Copy !req
117. We'll have a savings account.
Copy !req
118. We've never had one.
Copy !req
119. Kids, I think everything is
going to be okay from now on.
Copy !req
120. Hey, hey!
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121. Homer!
Copy !req
122. You heard?
Copy !req
123. We heard.
Isn't it wonderful?
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124. We have some great plans
for that money.
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125. Well, I'm afraid I had
some great plans too.
Copy !req
126. What do you mean?
Copy !req
127. I spent it on beer.
Copy !req
128. Surprise, surprise.
Copy !req
129. You spent $5,200 on beer?
Copy !req
130. $5,200?
Copy !req
131. What are you talking about?
Copy !req
132. What?
Copy !req
133. I sold it all for 25 bucks!
Copy !req
134. Come on, everybody.
It makes you feel better.
Copy !req
135. Hey, Homer.
Copy !req
136. Did you buy this car
with your stock money?
Copy !req
137. Sure did, and
the great thing about it
Copy !req
138. is everybody got rich.
Copy !req
139. For once, all us working
stiffs got a break.
Copy !req
140. Wait till you see Lenny.
Copy !req
141. He just got back from
the plastic surgeon.
Copy !req
142. Sheesh, Lenny, looks like you
got the works.
Copy !req
143. It started out as an eye tuck,
but the stock kept goin' up.
Copy !req
144. Hey, come here.
Mr. Burns is on TV.
Copy !req
145. - Mr. Burns?
- Here, Mr. Burns.
Copy !req
146. Over here. Mr. Burns?
Copy !req
147. Mr. Burns, we've heard that
a German consortium
Copy !req
148. has offered to
purchase the plant.
Copy !req
149. Any comments?
Copy !req
150. You'll see the Statue of Liberty
wearing lederhosen
Copy !req
151. before you see Germans
running my plant!
Copy !req
152. Well then, sir,
why are you meeting with them?
Copy !req
153. So I can look Uncle Fritz
square in the monocle
Copy !req
154. and say, "nein!"
Copy !req
155. You never cease
to amaze me, sir.
Copy !req
156. Whoo-hoo!
Copy !req
157. Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
Copy !req
158. Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Copy !req
159. I grudgingly accept.
Copy !req
160. Now, don't worry.
Copy !req
161. I think that you'll find
these two gentlemen
Copy !req
162. are as American as apple pie.
Copy !req
163. Hans and Fritz...
Copy !req
164. Why, that's just John and Frank.
Copy !req
165. Ich bin ein Springfielder.
Copy !req
166. They'll bring
their own people in.
Copy !req
167. This ain't good.
Copy !req
168. We could all lose our jobs.
Copy !req
169. Look at all those
worried faces...
Copy !req
170. except for Lenny.
Copy !req
171. He looks great.
Copy !req
172. This is the worst day
of my life.
Copy !req
173. Those lousy Germans
can't fire me.
Copy !req
174. I'm the only one who knows
Copy !req
175. how to unjam the rod
bottom dissociator.
Copy !req
176. Well, they can't fire me.
I'm the only one certified
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177. to run the gaseous contaminant
particulate fire.
Copy !req
178. They can't fire me.
Copy !req
179. Why?
Copy !req
180. 'Cause...
Copy !req
181. Guten morgen.
I am Horst.
Copy !req
182. The new owners have elected
me to speak with you
Copy !req
183. because I am
the most nonthreatening.
Copy !req
184. Perhaps I remind you of
the lovable Sergeant Schultz
Copy !req
185. on "Hogan's Heroes."
Copy !req
186. - Yeah.
- Yeah, he does.
Copy !req
187. What is the best way
to an efficient plant?
Copy !req
188. - I don't know.
- Well...
Copy !req
189. Search me.
Copy !req
190. Happy workers who feel secure
at their jobs...
Copy !req
191. So let's get to know
each other better.
Copy !req
192. Do we have any
alcoholics among us?
Copy !req
193. - Me.
- Right here.
Copy !req
194. I'm drunk right now.
Copy !req
195. You'll be given
a six-week treatment
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196. at our drying-out facility
in Hawaii,
Copy !req
197. after which
you'll return at full pay.
Copy !req
198. - Great!
- Great.
Copy !req
199. Hey, maybe I'll marry
Elizabeth Taylor.
Copy !req
200. Lucky drunks.
Copy !req
201. Also, we cannot uber-emphasize
Copy !req
202. the importance
of employee safety.
Copy !req
203. We plan to have
some frank discussions
Copy !req
204. with your safety inspector.
Copy !req
205. Yeah, sock it to 'em, Horst!
Copy !req
206. Psst. Hey, Homer.
Copy !req
207. Aren't you the safety inspector?
Copy !req
208. D'
Copy !req
209. That's one big check.
Copy !req
210. You look sharp today, sir.
Copy !req
211. You looken sharpen todayen,
mein herr.
Copy !req
212. You looken sharpen
todayen, mein herr.
Copy !req
213. That was a gutsy decision, sir.
Copy !req
214. Smithers,
come here. I want you.
Copy !req
215. I wanted to give you something
to remember me by,
Copy !req
216. and I know you've always had
your eye on this photo
Copy !req
217. of Elvis and me.
Copy !req
218. He was so good
to his mother, sir.
Copy !req
219. Yes, but I couldn't understand
a word that man said.
Copy !req
220. "Mr. Burns...
Copy !req
221. hound dog."
Copy !req
222. Stop it.
You're killing me, sir.
Copy !req
223. Sir, what will you do next?
Copy !req
224. First, I'll get that new hip
I've been hankering for.
Copy !req
225. Then, who knows?
Copy !req
226. Beekeeping, boxing,
Copy !req
227. bocce ball...
Copy !req
228. The world is my oyster,
Smithers.
Copy !req
229. Farewell.
Copy !req
230. Lisa, your father
needs your help.
Copy !req
231. Do you know anything
about Germany?
Copy !req
232. Well, it's a country in Europe.
Copy !req
233. Good, good. I'm learning.
Copy !req
234. One of the economic powers
of the world.
Copy !req
235. Because we send them money?
Copy !req
236. No.
Copy !req
237. Because they're efficient
and punctual,
Copy !req
238. with a strong work ethic.
Copy !req
239. D'
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240. Woe is me.
Copy !req
241. Homie, come to bed.
Copy !req
242. Marge, I'm gonna be
fired, I know it.
Copy !req
243. Don't worry.
Copy !req
244. Whatever happens,
we'll pay the bills somehow.
Copy !req
245. Marge, it's not the money.
Copy !req
246. My job is my identity.
Copy !req
247. If I'm not
a safety whatchama-jigger,
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248. I'm nothing.
Copy !req
249. Well, if you can't sleep,
Copy !req
250. why don't you do
something constructive?
Copy !req
251. Ooh... Battlestar Galactica!
Copy !req
252. Fit, damn you! Fit!
Copy !req
253. There.
Copy !req
254. Yo, Homer, you got
to get ready for work.
Copy !req
255. What?
Copy !req
256. What am I gonna...
Copy !req
257. Hey, you!
Copy !req
258. Stop being... so unsafe!
Copy !req
259. Smitty... safen up.
Copy !req
260. Homer, could we have
a word with you?
Copy !req
261. No.
Copy !req
262. I must have phrased that badly.
Copy !req
263. My English is...
How you say? Inelegant.
Copy !req
264. I meant to say may we have
a brief, friendly chat?
Copy !req
265. - No.
- Once again, I have failed.
Copy !req
266. "We request
the pleasure of your company
Copy !req
267. for a free exchange of ideas."
Copy !req
268. No!
Copy !req
269. You've been safety inspector
for two years.
Copy !req
270. What initiatives have you
spearheaded in that time?
Copy !req
271. All of them?
Copy !req
272. I see.
Copy !req
273. Then you must have
some good ideas
Copy !req
274. for the future as well.
Copy !req
275. I sure do!
Copy !req
276. Such as?
Copy !req
277. Well...
I wish the candy machine
Copy !req
278. wasn't so picky about taking
beat-up dollar bills...
Copy !req
279. because...
Copy !req
280. a lot of workers
really like candy.
Copy !req
281. We understand, Homer.
Copy !req
282. After all, we are from
the land of chocolate.
Copy !req
283. The land of chocolate!
Copy !req
284. Wow... chocolate, half-price!
Copy !req
285. Mr. Simpson?
Copy !req
286. Mr. Simpson?
Copy !req
287. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
288. We were talking about chocolate?
Copy !req
289. That was ten minutes ago.
Copy !req
290. I think I did
pretty good in there.
Copy !req
291. Yeah, you know
those Germans aren't so bad.
Copy !req
292. Sure, they've made mistakes
in the past,
Copy !req
293. but that's why pencils
have erasers.
Copy !req
294. Attention, workers.
Copy !req
295. We have completed
our evaluation of the plant.
Copy !req
296. We regret to announce
the following layoffs
Copy !req
297. which I will read
in alphabetical order.
Copy !req
298. Simpson, Homer.
Copy !req
299. That is all.
Copy !req
300. Ay, caramba!
Copy !req
301. Now Bart, Lisa did
a wonderful job
Copy !req
302. on my hair,
Copy !req
303. and we saved $40 for the family.
Copy !req
304. We all have to pull together
Copy !req
305. till your father gets a new job.
Copy !req
306. I made a new bar of soap
Copy !req
307. by squeezing all our
little soap slivers together.
Copy !req
308. That's very clever.
Copy !req
309. And today, instead of
buying comic books,
Copy !req
310. I just read them
and left them in the store.
Copy !req
311. You shouldn't do that.
Copy !req
312. My jump rope broke but
I just tied it back together.
Copy !req
313. That's good, Lisa.
Copy !req
314. I didn't take a bath today
Copy !req
315. and I may not take one tomorrow.
Copy !req
316. I want you to take baths, Bart.
Copy !req
317. Lousy German know-it-alls.
Copy !req
318. Who are they
to say I'm not safe?
Copy !req
319. What's the matter
with this thing?
Copy !req
320. No problems here.
Copy !req
321. That's right, Burnsie.
Copy !req
322. Keep your wrist supple.
Copy !req
323. Throw it, don't aim it.
Copy !req
324. This is my park.
Copy !req
325. Get out!
Copy !req
326. It was worth it.
Copy !req
327. This place has really gone
to hell, Mr. Burns.
Copy !req
328. It's obscene what they did
to your office.
Copy !req
329. Listen Smithers,
you caught me at a bad time
Copy !req
330. but my folk guitar class
has been canceled for tonight.
Copy !req
331. Would you like to get
together for a drink?
Copy !req
332. Would I?
Copy !req
333. I got to go.
See you at 6:00.
Copy !req
334. You're going down, my friend.
Copy !req
335. Yes, sir, Mr. Burns.
Copy !req
336. That shouldn't be.
Copy !req
337. Ach du lieber!
Raccoons!
Copy !req
338. That's right.
Copy !req
339. Gather the nectar,
my little drones
Copy !req
340. and make the honey...
Copy !req
341. Honey for your children.
Copy !req
342. Fools!
Copy !req
343. Ready for that drink, sir?
Copy !req
344. Just a second, Smithers.
Copy !req
345. Let me introduce you
to the gang.
Copy !req
346. That's Buzz, that's Honey,
Copy !req
347. and you see
that queen over there?
Copy !req
348. Her name is Smithers.
Copy !req
349. That's very flattering,
sir, but we should go.
Copy !req
350. Several bees are stinging me.
Copy !req
351. Moe's Tavern.
Moe speaking.
Copy !req
352. Yes, I'm looking for
a Mrs. O'Problem,
Copy !req
353. first name: Bea.
Copy !req
354. Just a minute, I'll check.
Copy !req
355. Bea O'Problem?
Copy !req
356. Bea O'Problem?
Copy !req
357. Come on, guys.
Copy !req
358. Do I have
a B.O. Problem here?
Copy !req
359. You sure do.
Copy !req
360. It's you, isn't it?
Copy !req
361. Listen you!
When I get a hold of you
Copy !req
362. I'm gonna use your head
for a bucket
Copy !req
363. and paint my house
with your brains.
Copy !req
364. Bart, I want you to go down
Copy !req
365. to Moe's Tavern.
Copy !req
366. I need you to bring
your father home.
Copy !req
367. Excuse me.
I'm looking for...
Copy !req
368. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
369. I know that voice.
Copy !req
370. If it isn't little Bart Simpson!
Copy !req
371. I haven't seen you in years.
Copy !req
372. That's right.
Copy !req
373. That's my pop.
Copy !req
374. Little Bart,
Copy !req
375. we hear all about
your monkeyshines.
Copy !req
376. Bet you get into
all kinds of trouble
Copy !req
377. he don't even know about.
Copy !req
378. Am I right?
Am I right?
Copy !req
379. Well, I make
some crank phone calls.
Copy !req
380. Aw, ha-ha, that's great!
Copy !req
381. Ha-ha-ha!
Copy !req
382. Hey, would you sing
that old song
Copy !req
383. you used to sing for me?
Copy !req
384. Moe, for you, anything.
Copy !req
385. Look! A blue-collar bar.
Copy !req
386. Smithers, let's go slumming.
Copy !req
387. Encore!
Copy !req
388. He's a pip, this one is.
Copy !req
389. The mirthless laugh
of the damned.
Copy !req
390. Hold your nose, Smithers.
Copy !req
391. We're going in.
Copy !req
392. Watch me blend in.
Copy !req
393. Barkeep,
some cheap domestic beer
Copy !req
394. for me and my buddy here.
Copy !req
395. I'm not your buddy,
you greedy, old reptile.
Copy !req
396. Smithers, who is
this saucy fellow?
Copy !req
397. Homer Simpson, sir.
Copy !req
398. Sector sieben gruber...
I mean, sector 7-G.
Copy !req
399. Recently terminated.
Copy !req
400. That's right.
I lost my job
Copy !req
401. so that you could have
another $100 million!
Copy !req
402. Let me ask you something.
Copy !req
403. Does your money cheer you up
when you're feeling blue?
Copy !req
404. - Yes.
- Okay. Bad example.
Copy !req
405. So let me ask you this:
Copy !req
406. Does your money ever hug you
when you come home at night?
Copy !req
407. Why, no.
Copy !req
408. And does it ever say
"I love you"?
Copy !req
409. No, it doesn't.
Copy !req
410. Nobody loves you.
Copy !req
411. Nobody loves you.
You're old and you're ugly.
Copy !req
412. - Way to go, Homer!
- Nobody loves you!
Copy !req
413. Good heavens, Smithers.
Copy !req
414. They're not afraid
of me anymore.
Copy !req
415. Hey, Mr. Burns.
Copy !req
416. Did you get the letter I sent?
Copy !req
417. Letter? I don't recall
any letter...
Copy !req
418. That's because I
forgot to stamp it!
Copy !req
419. Ew!
Copy !req
420. That kid slays me.
Copy !req
421. That was no accident.
Copy !req
422. Let's get out of here.
Copy !req
423. What good is money
Copy !req
424. if you can't inspire terror
in your fellow man?
Copy !req
425. I've got to get my plant back.
Copy !req
426. Gott in Himmel!
Copy !req
427. Who'd have thought
a nuclear plant
Copy !req
428. could be such a death trap?
Copy !req
429. It will cost another 100 million
Copy !req
430. just to bring it up to code.
Copy !req
431. Please sell me my plant back.
Copy !req
432. I'll pay anything.
Copy !req
433. Isn't this a happy coincidence!
Copy !req
434. You are desperate to buy,
and we are desperate to sell.
Copy !req
435. Desperate?
Copy !req
436. Burns.
Copy !req
437. This is my offer.
Copy !req
438. I think you'll find
it's most unfair,
Copy !req
439. but those are the breaks.
Copy !req
440. But, Mr. Burns, this is
half of what we paid you.
Copy !req
441. That's my final offer.
Take it or leave it.
Copy !req
442. All right, Mr. Burns,
you win,
Copy !req
443. but beware... we Germans
aren't all smiles und sunshine.
Copy !req
444. Ooh, the Germans are mad at me.
Copy !req
445. I'm so scared.
Copy !req
446. - Ooh, the Germans!
- The Ger...
Copy !req
447. - Stop it.
- Stop that.
Copy !req
448. Don't let the Germans
come after me.
Copy !req
449. Please stop the 'pretending
you are scared' game.
Copy !req
450. No, they're so big and strong...
Copy !req
451. Stop it, Mr. Burns.
Copy !req
452. Protect me from the Germans!
Copy !req
453. Burns! Stop it!
Copy !req
454. Get out!
This is my office now!
Copy !req
455. Get out!
Copy !req
456. You too!
Copy !req
457. This is a place of business
Copy !req
458. not a pee-wee flop house.
Copy !req
459. Your orders, sir.
Copy !req
460. Restore my office,
cancel all repairs,
Copy !req
461. and rehire that chap
who sassed me in the bar.
Copy !req
462. Homer Simpson? But why?
Copy !req
463. Smithers, I keep
my friends close
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464. and my enemies even closer.
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465. He'll slowly regain
his confidence
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466. as the months and years
drift by,
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467. blissfully unaware
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468. that the sword of Damocles is
dangling just above his head.
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469. And then, one day
when he least expects it...
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470. Whoo-hoo!
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471. I got my job back!
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472. Shh!
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473. ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
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