1. One month ago,Copy !req
2. 12 couples arrived
on this tropical island.Copy !req
3. After an emergency
balloon landing,Copy !req
4. a jellyfish explosion
and the most-viewedCopy !req
5. cantaloupe catapult accident
of all time,Copy !req
6. just four couples remain.Copy !req
7. I'm Tag Tuckerbag, and this
is the greatest adventureCopy !req
8. to take place in just one place.Copy !req
9. The Amazing Place!
The Amazing Place!Copy !req
10. The Place Show.Copy !req
11. The final challenge
is the Lily Pad Leap.Copy !req
12. They haven't done the LP Leap
since season 22,Copy !req
13. "Beauty versus Sexy."Copy !req
14. Kayla, don't step on the stem.
You'll flip the pad.Copy !req
15. You should know that.
You're a life coach.Copy !req
16. - They flipped the pad!
They flipped the pad.Copy !req
17. What a noob.Copy !req
18. Hector and Audrey Chang,
you have wonCopy !req
19. - The Amazing Place!Copy !req
20. - Called it.
- Mom, you always
call the winner.Copy !req
21. How do you know?Copy !req
22. Well, your father may have
Moe's and football,Copy !req
23. but I have being by myself
and this show.Copy !req
24. Do you like
adventure, bandanasCopy !req
25. and having your friends
see you melt down on TV?Copy !req
26. We want you for season 48
of The Amazing Place.Copy !req
27. Why don't you guys try out
for that show?Copy !req
28. You would dominate.Copy !req
29. Oh, no, I couldn't.Copy !req
30. You know what they say:
you don't failCopy !req
31. at 100% of the shots
you don't take.Copy !req
32. But you've watched
every episode of the showCopy !req
33. and listened
to the director commentaries.Copy !req
34. You even made us play
the terrible home game.Copy !req
35. - Come on, Mom.
- Just try out.Copy !req
36. - Come on, try out.
- Come on.Copy !req
37. - Try out.
- Try out, Mom.Copy !req
38. - Try out!
- Try out!Copy !req
39. - Come on, just do it, Mom!
- Come on!Copy !req
40. Just try out!Copy !req
41. Come on.
- Mom.Copy !req
42. - Just try out.
- Why don't you try out?Copy !req
43. - Just try out.
- Come on, do it.Copy !req
44. I'm not trying out,
so just can it.Copy !req
45. I said "can it"
to my own children.Copy !req
46. What have I become?Copy !req
47. Baby, you've got
to tell them sometime.Copy !req
48. Tell us what?Copy !req
49. We know all the family secrets.Copy !req
50. Like that Dad lost
our college fundsCopy !req
51. investing in a chain
of chewing tobacco cafes.Copy !req
52. Dippin' Dens was a great idea.Copy !req
53. We just weren't prepared
for all the spitting.Copy !req
54. Well, I might as well
come clean.Copy !req
55. The real tragedy
is now Chaw House ownsCopy !req
56. the entire
casual chewing market.Copy !req
57. The truth is, we have tried out.Copy !req
58. Dozens of times.Copy !req
59. Why should you pick us
to be on The Amazing Place?Copy !req
60. Because we're best friends
who never bicker.Copy !req
61. We're constantly
at each other's throats.Copy !req
62. We're motorcycle bikers.Copy !req
63. That's our persona.Copy !req
64. We have no idea what you want.Copy !req
65. Just please pick us.Copy !req
66. Why are you still doing this?Copy !req
67. We were already on that showCopy !req
68. where we had to crawl
into a drainage ditch.Copy !req
69. That was just you,
and it wasn't a show.Copy !req
70. It was a police bodycam.Copy !req
71. That was a good show.Copy !req
72. After 46 rejections,
I can take a hint.Copy !req
73. They don't want us.Copy !req
74. You know, reality shows
love a sob story,Copy !req
75. and we've got a storage bin
full of tears.Copy !req
76. And I've got a sister
who will edit them togetherCopy !req
77. while I feed the dog
marshmallowsCopy !req
78. and see what happens.Copy !req
79. Ow!Copy !req
80. Oh, we're not here
to make friends.Copy !req
81. Unless I meet some awesome guy
who-who wants to be my friend.Copy !req
82. Yeah, I met this really cool guy
at the boba place,Copy !req
83. but he said he was moving
to Hong Kong and, uh,Copy !req
84. he didn't know his number yet.Copy !req
85. Every reality show needs
that crazy, no-limits guyCopy !req
86. that just shatters
society's taboos, right?Copy !req
87. Well, break out
your pixelation machine,Copy !req
88. because I am
your bug-eating nude fatso.Copy !req
89. Oh, also, I'm not here
to make friends.Copy !req
90. Oh, my God, married kids?Copy !req
91. You're in the show.Copy !req
92. - Ew, no.
- We're here on behalfCopy !req
93. of some different weirdos.Copy !req
94. Our parents have tried out
for every seasonCopy !req
95. of The Amazing Place.Copy !req
96. My dad would even record my momCopy !req
97. opening your letters
in case they got picked.Copy !req
98. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
99. Oh.Copy !req
100. Oh.Copy !req
101. So think what a magical
TV moment it would beCopy !req
102. for our mom to find out
she made it on the show.Copy !req
103. After losing all hope.Copy !req
104. When she didn't even know
she applied.Copy !req
105. The ultimate superfan
gets one last chanceCopy !req
106. to make her dreams come true.Copy !req
107. I don't know,
it sounds a little manipulative.Copy !req
108. You're fired.Copy !req
109. I think we just found
our Boston Rob.Copy !req
110. Or your Springfield Clancy.Copy !req
111. Huh? Huh?Copy !req
112. Electric bill, past due,Copy !req
113. Website renewal
"DippinDens.com."Copy !req
114. What's this?Copy !req
115. "Congratulations,
Marge and Homer Simpson.Copy !req
116. You have been selected
to compete on..."Copy !req
117. The Amazing Place!Copy !req
118. Tag Tuckerbag?Copy !req
119. Tag Buggernut?Copy !req
120. This is it.
After years of rejection,Copy !req
121. you two will finally compete
for a million dollarsCopy !req
122. on The Amazing Place.Copy !req
123. But we didn't even try out.Copy !req
124. I edited together
your old auditions.Copy !req
125. And I gave notes
which were ignored.Copy !req
126. My crazy dream is coming true.Copy !req
127. After you sign
the amazing waivers.Copy !req
128. So many ways to die.Copy !req
129. Falling off rocks,
rocks falling on me.Copy !req
130. Toxoplasmosis?Copy !req
131. That's what ate
Handsome Tom's face.Copy !req
132. Just call me Handsome Homer.Copy !req
133. - Bye, Mom!
- Don't get toxoplasmosis!Copy !req
134. Welcome to The Amazing Place.Copy !req
135. You're about to embark
on a test of mental toughness,Copy !req
136. physical strength and interviews
where you have to pretendCopy !req
137. that you're in the middle
of a challengeCopy !req
138. when it's already over.Copy !req
139. But first, let's kick things off
with a romantic beachside luauCopy !req
140. at Lover's Lagoon.Copy !req
141. Right after
your first challenge.Copy !req
142. We took one item
from every person's bagCopy !req
143. and hid it in another
contestant's luggage.Copy !req
144. Everyone, find their
Suitcase Stowaway now.Copy !req
145. It's the ultimate
Tarmac Unpack Attack.Copy !req
146. Okay, Suitcase Stowaway.Copy !req
147. They've done this
three times before.Copy !req
148. Here's the secret: dump and dig.Copy !req
149. I found my stowaway.Copy !req
150. Great. Go through my other bag.Copy !req
151. Okay, Homie, don't panic.Copy !req
152. The secret is to just take
your time, and...Copy !req
153. I'm sorry, Homer and Marge,
you've been...Copy !req
154. - Don't say it.
- ... shell-iminated.Copy !req
155. No, no. No, no, no.Copy !req
156. We can't be
the first couple kicked off.Copy !req
157. That's the ultimate humiliation.Copy !req
158. I never even put on a swimsuit.Copy !req
159. I never got to see the lagoon.Copy !req
160. I'm crying, and no one's
even filming me.Copy !req
161. We didn't even make it
off the tarmac.Copy !req
162. All because of my screwup.Copy !req
163. I guess we're going home.Copy !req
164. No, you're going there.Copy !req
165. Huh?Copy !req
166. A hotel? But we lost.Copy !req
167. If we let you go home now,
fans would knowCopy !req
168. you've been kicked off
before the season airs.Copy !req
169. So ejected contestants
must stay at this hotelCopy !req
170. until every episode
is finished taping.Copy !req
171. So we can't go home for a month?Copy !req
172. Six weeks, counting post.Copy !req
173. I don't know what post is.Copy !req
174. Hey, save some of those tears
for the reunion show.Copy !req
175. You'll just put us in the back
row and won't ask any questions.Copy !req
176. We won't even get
to hug the winner.Copy !req
177. Yeah, but the runner-up's
always wandering aroundCopy !req
178. looking for someone to hug.Copy !req
179. That's your play.Copy !req
180. How could I be such a noob?Copy !req
181. I could learn
to love a noob, given time.Copy !req
182. I already miss the kids.Copy !req
183. Well, there's got to be
a way we can call homeCopy !req
184. without getting in trouble.Copy !req
185. If you say anything
that reveals or impliesCopy !req
186. that you have been ejected
from The Amazing Place,Copy !req
187. you are subject to a fine
of up to a million dollarsCopy !req
188. and, for residents of Georgia,
the death penalty.Copy !req
189. Kids, kids, how are you?Copy !req
190. Lisa said I can't use
the bubble bath,Copy !req
191. but you said you bought it
for everybody.Copy !req
192. Forget the bubble bath.Copy !req
193. How's the show?Copy !req
194. Are you winning?Copy !req
195. Um, I'm not supposed to say.Copy !req
196. That means you're dominating.Copy !req
197. - I knew it!Copy !req
198. No, no, we're not dominating.Copy !req
199. I didn't reveal or imply that.Copy !req
200. Well, you can't have gotten
kicked off yet.Copy !req
201. You just got there.Copy !req
202. Mmm...Copy !req
203. "Your mother and I are excitedCopy !req
204. "to be part
of the Amazing Place family.Copy !req
205. "All further inquiries
should be submitted in writingCopy !req
206. to Don DiBusco Productions,
Burbank, California."Copy !req
207. What the hell
are you talking about?Copy !req
208. This conversation
is hereby terminated.Copy !req
209. You are each entitled
to one capful of bubble bath.Copy !req
210. Now, that's parenting.Copy !req
211. Come on, baby, it's not so bad.Copy !req
212. Really?Copy !req
213. Six weeks away from the kids,
Grampa, my sisters, your job.Copy !req
214. With nothing to do but eat
free room serviceCopy !req
215. and watch dopey movies on demand
while they keep us quietCopy !req
216. with an endless supply
of free booze.Copy !req
217. It's a nightmare.Copy !req
218. It is. It truly is.Copy !req
219. You see, Curtis,
you never reallyCopy !req
220. get an episode of SportsCenterCopy !req
221. until you've seen it
for the third time.Copy !req
222. Can I freshen up
that appetizer platter for you?Copy !req
223. Nah, I better go
check in on my wife.Copy !req
224. She's having a hard time
adjusting to hotel living.Copy !req
225. Just let me clean.Copy !req
226. Sweetie, I'm worried about you.Copy !req
227. You just sit around
all day changingCopy !req
228. the combination
on the room safe.Copy !req
229. Do you want to put something
in the room safe?Copy !req
230. I don't deserve valuables.Copy !req
231. It's my fault we're stuck here.Copy !req
232. All I deserve is to sit aloneCopy !req
233. and watch the TV channel
that's about the hotel.Copy !req
234. Forgot your
toothbrush? No problem.Copy !req
235. Sundries gift shop has all the
toiletries every traveler needs.Copy !req
236. Sundries is awesome.
I got this shirt there.Copy !req
237. Look, I know you're miserable,Copy !req
238. but let me show you how great
this place can be.Copy !req
239. It's just a stupid chain hotel.Copy !req
240. Darling, take my hand, and
you'll see it's so much more.Copy !req
241. Might the lady enjoy a movieCopy !req
242. whose title doesn't appear
on the bill?Copy !req
243. Maybe being trapped here
isn't so bad.Copy !req
244. I'm not even worried
about what the kids are up to.Copy !req
245. - Come on, dig. Dig.
- We're hot.Copy !req
246. You can go for a nice, cool swimCopy !req
247. after you finish
digging my pool.Copy !req
248. I'm telling Patty and Selma
what you're doing.Copy !req
249. What? We want a pool.Copy !req
250. I just got my first wax
in years.Copy !req
251. Hurt so much they had to
give me an epidural.Copy !req
252. Haw-haw!Copy !req
253. The fitness center only had
an old NordicTrack,Copy !req
254. but it felt good to work out.Copy !req
255. I sat on a yoga ball
and drank cucumber water.Copy !req
256. It's nice to know
I can still do that.Copy !req
257. Mm, maybe we should peek in.Copy !req
258. I am kind of curious to see
what's going on in the show.Copy !req
259. Really? You sure
you can handle it?Copy !req
260. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
261. I'm still in a great mood after
reading that free USA Today.Copy !req
262. Look, they're
editing our episode.Copy !req
263. There I am, looking
for that Suitcase Stowaway.Copy !req
264. I never found it, did I?Copy !req
265. Great. Go through my other bag.Copy !req
266. Hey, that's
me looking for that thing.Copy !req
267. Okay. Marge's vitamins,
Marge's pajamas,Copy !req
268. Marge's giant chocolate bar.Copy !req
269. I didn't pack
a giant chocolate bar.Copy !req
270. What Marge doesn't knowCopy !req
271. is that her husband just ate
her Suitcase Stowaway.Copy !req
272. This ultimate "didgeri-don't"
will send them packing.Copy !req
273. Whoa!Copy !req
274. I'm not the one who screwed up.
You are.Copy !req
275. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
276. I know you're gonna
need some space,Copy !req
277. so I'll sleep on the couch.Copy !req
278. What a dump.Copy !req
279. What's that from?Copy !req
280. - What?
- "What a dump."Copy !req
281. How would I know?Copy !req
282. We wouldn't be in this dump
if you weren't such a flop.Copy !req
283. I'm tired, dear. It's late.Copy !req
284. A chocolate flop.Copy !req
285. Yes, a chocolate flop.Copy !req
286. That's what you keep braying
at everybody.Copy !req
287. I don't bray!Copy !req
288. All right, you don't bray.Copy !req
289. I do not bray!Copy !req
290. I said you didn't bray.Copy !req
291. Make me a drink.Copy !req
292. - Haven't you had enough?
- Make me a drink.Copy !req
293. Yes, dear.Copy !req
294. And lay out some mixed nuts.
We've got guests.Copy !req
295. - We've got what?
- Guests. Guests!Copy !req
296. You know, what's-their-names.Copy !req
297. I don't know their names.Copy !req
298. They just got eliminated
from the show.Copy !req
299. It took them five weeks,
not five minutes.Copy !req
300. Go answer the door.Copy !req
301. All right, love,
whatever love wants.Copy !req
302. Get the door. The door!Copy !req
303. I'm getting the door.Copy !req
304. You don't have to bray
like some subhuman monster.Copy !req
305. Oh, go to hell!Copy !req
306. Hi! Hi, there. Come on in.Copy !req
307. - This is, um...
- Honey.Copy !req
308. And this is Nick.Copy !req
309. Oh, I thought his name
was what's-his-name.Copy !req
310. Ha, ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
311. Just ignore Homer, old sourpuss.Copy !req
312. That's me.Copy !req
313. Hey, sourpuss, why don't you
mix them a drink?Copy !req
314. Yes, dear.Copy !req
315. I love your room.Copy !req
316. We have the exact same
paintings.Copy !req
317. You were this close to winning
The Three-Legged Chase.Copy !req
318. You were right in there, Nick,
right at the meat of things.Copy !req
319. There's no limit to you,
is there?Copy !req
320. And how would you have played
the Three-Legged Chase?Copy !req
321. Why don't I show you?Copy !req
322. - Don't encourage her.
- Encourage me.Copy !req
323. Inside, outside,
inside, outside,Copy !req
324. in, out, in, out,
in, out, in, out.Copy !req
325. You can sit around
with the minibar ginCopy !req
326. running out of your mouth.Copy !req
327. You can tear me apart like
the box the shower cap came in.Copy !req
328. That's perfectly okay,
that's all right.Copy !req
329. You can stand it.Copy !req
330. I cannot stand it!Copy !req
331. You can stand it.Copy !req
332. You married me for it.Copy !req
333. - Our son is dead.
- No, he isn't.Copy !req
334. - We have no son!
- Yes, we do!Copy !req
335. Oh, yeah, Bart.Copy !req
336. Man, last night sure was
a searing portraitCopy !req
337. of a marriage in turmoil.Copy !req
338. It's still in turmoil, you
chocolate-gobbling dream killer.Copy !req
339. Attention, everyone, gather
by the bowl of mini yogurts.Copy !req
340. For the first time ever
on The Amazing Place,Copy !req
341. two eliminated contestants
will be brought backCopy !req
342. to compete in the finale.Copy !req
343. But here's the catch,
to get back in,Copy !req
344. you have to dump your loved one
for another partner.Copy !req
345. So, if your spouse screwed up,Copy !req
346. this is your chance
to cut them loose.Copy !req
347. It's the Dead Weight Drop.Copy !req
348. - I choose Nick.Copy !req
349. That's got to sting, Homer.Copy !req
350. I'm just glad
my friends and familyCopy !req
351. are never going to see me
humiliated like this.Copy !req
352. This is it, the final challenge:Copy !req
353. Mango Tango.Copy !req
354. First, pick and peel
enough fresh mangoCopy !req
355. to make six mango-ritas,Copy !req
356. which you must then carry
across a log bridge.Copy !req
357. But under the bridge is a pack
of mango-loving monkeys,Copy !req
358. which can only be soothedCopy !req
359. with music played
on a pennywhistle.Copy !req
360. Also, there will be
a Kia Sportage in the backgroundCopy !req
361. that we couldn't figure out
how to fit into the challenge.Copy !req
362. Your Mango Tango starts now.Copy !req
363. And Marge draws first fruit.Copy !req
364. I'll make the mango-ritas.Copy !req
365. Great teamwork.Copy !req
366. Could this be
a million-dollar puree?Copy !req
367. I'll handle those monkeys.Copy !req
368. It's the ultimate groovy
chill-out flute jam.Copy !req
369. Look, the monkeys are mellowing.Copy !req
370. This is our Kia Sportage Moment.Copy !req
371. I did it.Copy !req
372. We won. Without Homer.Copy !req
373. Marge and Nick,Copy !req
374. I want to congratulate you
on winning The Amazing Place.Copy !req
375. Yay!
- I want to, but I can't.Copy !req
376. Because you failed to salt
the rims of your mango-ritas,Copy !req
377. rendering them mango-nothings.Copy !req
378. I screwed up a recipe?Copy !req
379. So get out of the way of the
actual winners, Shawn and Barry.Copy !req
380. Hey!Copy !req
381. Our rims are super salty.Copy !req
382. Hey! Hey, hey, come on. Oh!Copy !req
383. I am such a noob.Copy !req
384. I am such a noob.Copy !req
385. What a noob.Copy !req
386. - Total noob.
- Classic noob.Copy !req
387. Homie, I was such a jerk.
How can I make it up to you?Copy !req
388. Sweetheart, you already have.Copy !req
389. I am such a noob.Copy !req
390. I've screwed up so many times
in our marriage,Copy !req
391. and people always feel
so sorry for you.Copy !req
392. But with this epic noob blunder,
I'm the one they pity.Copy !req
393. Oh... pity. Oh...Copy !req
394. Is this how you feel
all the time?Copy !req
395. Uh, kind of. I just never
let myself enjoy it.Copy !req
396. Oh, pity feels good.Copy !req
397. Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISIONCopy !req
398. And FORD.
We go further, so you can.Copy !req
399. What should we watch next?Copy !req
400. Ooh, I just heard about
a great new reality show.Copy !req
401. PBS is showing a performance
of an Edward Albee play.Copy !req
402. Sports talk it is.Copy !req
403. How can you say that Phoenix
has any chanceCopy !req
404. to win the Western Conference?Copy !req
405. What are you talking about?Copy !req
406. We both picked the Phoenix Suns
to win it all.Copy !req
407. Our Suns are dead.Copy !req
408. No!Copy !req
409. Shh!Copy !req