1. Hey, you punk, you...
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2. Bart!
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3. Stop fighting
with your sister!
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4. She took my glue.
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5. It's not yours, Bart.
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6. This is family glue.
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7. Stop it, you two.
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8. This is Thanksgiving,
so glue friendly
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9. or I'll take your glue away
and then no one will have any
glue to glue with!
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10. Dad, this isn't about glue.
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11. It's about territoriality.
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12. He only wants the glue
because I'm using it.
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13. Oh, yeah? Prove it.
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14. Here.
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15. Hey man, I don't want
your stupid glue.
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16. Uh-oh, here comes our friend,
Bullwinkle J. Moose.
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17. Bullwinkle's antlers
sprung a leak.
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18. Looks like ol' Bullwinkle's
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19. kind of got a taste
of his own medicine.
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20. He certainly did, Bill.
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21. Wait, what did—
Did what I say
make sense?
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22. Well, no,
not really, Bill.
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23. Boy, now I know how
the pilgrims felt.
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24. What are you
talking about, Bill?
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25. Who the hell
is that?
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26. Bullwinkle.
Who?
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27. Wait a minute.
Who's that?
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28. Underdog.
Don't you know anything?
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29. I know it wouldn't hurt 'em
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30. to use some cartoons made
in the last 50 years.
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31. Son, this is a tradition.
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32. You start building a balloon
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33. for every flash in the pan
cartoon character
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34. you'll turn the parade
into a farce.
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35. Maggie, I'm about to unveil
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36. my centerpiece
to the family.
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37. It's a tribute
to the trailblazing women
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38. who made our country great.
See?
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39. There's Georgia O'Keeffe,
Susan B. Anthony
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40. and this is
Marjory Stoneman Douglas.
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41. I'm sure you haven't
heard of her.
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42. But she worked
her whole life
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43. to preserve the
Florida Everglades.
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44. As one of
the Simpson women
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45. would you like to contribute
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46. something to it?
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47. Oh, thank you.
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48. Honey, please,
you're in the way.
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49. Can't I help you, Mom?
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50. Okay. Let's see. Can you do
the cranberry sauce?
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51. Yeah!
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52. Where is it?
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53. The can is in the cupboard
on the bottom shelf.
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54. Here?
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55. No, no no.
The other shelf.
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56. Got it. Now what?
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57. Open the can.
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58. No problemo.
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59. Where's the can opener?
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60. It's in the second drawer
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61. from the right.
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62. No, no, no.
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63. The other one.
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64. Oh, I got you.
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65. It's broken, Mom.
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66. Mom, it's broken.
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67. I don't think that
it's broken, honey.
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68. Here, let me try.
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69. There you go.
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70. Ah, cranberry sauce, a la Bart.
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71. Just stick it
in the refrigerator
when you're done, Bart.
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72. Bart?
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73. See, Maggie,
those silver and blue guys
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74. are the Dallas Cowboys.
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75. They're Daddy's favorite team,
and he wants them to lose
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76. by less than
five and a half points.
Understand?
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77. Kogen's got Wolidarsky
open way down field.
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78. And it's complete!
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79. Ooh, what a hit.
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80. Sportscaster #2:
Oh yeah, he's out cold, Gill.
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81. Yes sir. Looks like
they'll be feeding him
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82. Thanksgiving dinner
through a tube.
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83. Sportscaster #2:
Heh-heh. If they can fit a
turkey in there.
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84. Get on with it..
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85. Homer, shouldn't you go
pick up Grampa?
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86. Half time, Marge,
half time.
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87. Ding-dong.
Here comes the cavalry.
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88. D-ohhh!
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89. Homer, you promised
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90. to be nice
to my sisters.
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91. I know. I will.
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92. You brought food.
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93. Just a few things.
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94. Swedish meatballs.
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95. Um-hum. And my
trout almondine.
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96. You knew that
I was cooking a turkey.
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97. Which is fine.
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98. More power to you.
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99. Some people find
your turkey a little dry.
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100. And if they want an option,
they'll have it.
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101. Hi, Patty. Mwah!
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102. Hi, Selma. Mwah.
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103. It's good to see you.
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104. Well, got to pick up
my old man. Bye.
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105. So insincere.
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106. I don't know how
she puts up with him.
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107. And now, get set for our
fabulous half time show
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108. featuring the well-groomed
young go-getters
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109. of Hooray For Everything.
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110. Oh, I love those kids.
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111. They got such a great attitude.
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112. Ladies and gentlemen
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113. Hooray For Everything
invites you to join them
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114. in a salute to the greatest
hemisphere on Earth—
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115. The Western Hemisphere..
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116. The dancingest hemisphere
of all.
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117. Now, before we sit down
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118. to our delicious
turkey puree
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119. I have some happy news.
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120. The following people
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121. have relatives who wish
they could be here today:
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122. Antonowski, Conroy, Falcone,
Martin, Thorson and Walsh.
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123. Oh, and Mrs. Spencer
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124. You too.
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125. Oh, I knew they
wouldn't forget me.
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126. Come on, Dad,
let's get outta
here.
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127. Calm down, boy.
What's your hurry?
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128. This place is depressing.
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129. Hey, I live here!
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130. Well, I'm sure it's a blast
once you get used to it.
Let's go.
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131. Mom, you made it.
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132. How are you?
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133. I have laryngitis.
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134. It hurts to talk
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135. so I'll just say
one thing.
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136. You never do anything right.
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137. In the Silver Dome,
now ablaze with flashbulbs
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138. as Hooray For Everything
leaves the field.
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139. Of course, the stadium's
much too big
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140. for flash pictures to work,
but nobody seems to care.
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141. That's no way
to lay a fire.
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142. Where's your kindling?
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143. This thing's going
to be blowing any time now.
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144. Even a caveman
could start a fire.
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145. D-ohh!
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146. Dinner!
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147. Dinnertime, everybody!
Dinner.
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148. The hell with this.
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149. Okay, Lisa, we're ready
for your centerpiece.
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150. Lisa, my goodness.
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151. That's very
impressive.
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152. Holy moley
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153. that's the biggest...
one of those I ever saw.
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154. Hmm. I always said
she was gifted.
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155. Definitely from our side
of the family, right, Mom?
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156. Leave me alone.
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157. How long did that
take you, honey?
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158. I couldn't tell you
how many hours.
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159. It was a labor of love.
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160. It's my homage
to some American heroes
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161. who may not have fought
in any wars but who
nevertheless—
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162. Speaking of heroes,
here's mine—
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163. Tom Turkey.
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164. Yikes, what is that?
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165. It's the centerpiece, Bart.
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166. Well it's taking up
valuable real estate.
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167. Bart, stop it!
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168. Move it or lose it, Toots.
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169. Mom!
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170. Now just a minute.
I'm sure there's room for both.
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171. Bart, you're
wrecking it!
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172. Let go!
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173. I worked forever on this!
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174. Ooh.
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175. Hey, that got her going.
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176. Bitchin'.
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177. Bart!
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178. You don't even care!
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179. You don't even care!
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180. All right, Bart,
that's it.
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181. Go to your room! Now!
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182. Okay. I'll take white meat
and stuffing to go.
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183. And send up the pumpkin pie
in about 20 minutes.
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184. I said, now!
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185. Mom, do I have to?
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186. Yes, you do.
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187. I hope you're happy, Bart!
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188. You've ruined
Thanksgiving!
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189. rt:
I didn't ruin
Thanksgiving, she did.
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190. I always get
blamed for everything.
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191. And Lord, we're especially
thankful for nuclear power—
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192. the cleanest, safest
energy source there is
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193. except for solar,
which is just a pipe dream.
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194. Anyway, we'd like to thank you
for the occasional moments
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195. of peace and love
our family's experienced.
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196. Well, not today.
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197. You saw what happened.
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198. Oh, Lord, be honest.
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199. Are we the most pathetic family
in the universe or what?
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200. Amen.
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201. Worst prayer yet.
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202. D-ohhh!
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203. Why don't I go talk
to the children.
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204. Don't worry.
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205. Marge will fix everything.
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206. Honey, your food
is getting cold.
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207. That's all right.
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208. Lisa, I'm very sorry
about what happened.
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209. Mom, I poured my heart
into that centerpiece.
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210. Things like that
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211. always happen
in this family.
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212. I've noticed that too.
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213. Well, when you feel
like coming down
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214. we'll be there.
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215. Bart, you can come down
to dinner as soon
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216. as you're ready to apologize
to your sister—
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217. and it's going to be
a real apology in front
of everybody
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218. and you have to mean it.
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219. Apologize? For what?
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220. Clearing the table?
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221. Having a sense of humor?
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222. If they think they can starve
an apology out of me— ha!
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223. Uh-oh.
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224. I mean... good!
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225. What are you doing?
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226. No! Drop that drumstick.
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227. Bad dog.
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228. Bad Santa's Little Helper.
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229. Come on, give me that.
D-ohh!
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230. Okay, out you go.
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231. Hey, boy, come here.
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232. You're a good dog.
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233. Come on.
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234. We don't need them
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235. to get a Thanksgiving
dinner.
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236. Wow!
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237. Swanky.
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238. Mmm, delicious.
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239. Smithers, every year
you outstrip yourself
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240. in succulence.
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241. Thank you, sir.
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242. Would you like
some candied yams?
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243. Oh, no, I couldn't eat
another bite.
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244. Dispose of all this.
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245. I did however, save room
for your special pumpkin pie.
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246. It's cooling
on the windowsill, sir.
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247. Mmm.
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248. Stay here, boy.
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249. Uh-oh.
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250. Mr. Burns
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251. this is base command.
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252. The intruder appears
to be a young male,
age 9 to 11.
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253. Release the hounds.
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254. Ahh!
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255. "I saw the best meals
of my generation
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256. destroyed by the madness
of my brother.
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257. My soul carved in slices
by spiky-haired demons."
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258. Don't worry, boy.
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259. We'll get some grub
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260. even if we have
to pay for it.
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261. Cool— the wrong side
of the tracks.
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262. 12 bucks?
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263. Hey, I can bleed.
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264. Hey, you've got to be 18
to sell your blood.
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265. Let's see some I.D.
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266. Here you go, dollface.
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267. Okay, Homer, just relax.
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268. Ow!
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269. At the risk
of losing my voice
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270. let me just say
one more thing.
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271. I'm sorry I came.
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272. When is that boy
going to apologize?
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273. He sure is stubborn.
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274. Homer was never stubborn.
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275. He always folded instantly
over anything.
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276. It was if he had no will
of his own.
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277. Isn't that true, Homer?
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278. Yes, Dad.
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279. 12 bucks and a free cookie.
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280. What a country.
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281. Cute little guy.
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282. He's starting
to come around.
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283. You look a
little pale, son.
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284. We better get you
some food.
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285. Here we are.
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286. All right!
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287. 12 big ones
and free grub to boot.
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288. Viva, skid row!
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289. It's that anchor dude
from Channel Six.
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290. He's doing
one of those
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291. "Be thankful
for what you got" stories.
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292. Oh, we have lots of names
for these people—
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293. bums, deadbeats, losers,
scums of the Earth.
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294. We'd like to sweep these
people into the gutter
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295. or, if they're already
in the gutter
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296. to some other
out-of-the-way place.
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297. Oh, we have our reasons.
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298. They're depressing.
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299. They wear ragged clothes.
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300. They're "crazy."
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301. - They smell bad.
- Hey, listen, man...
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302. Wait.
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303. I'm going somewhere with this.
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304. So, every year on one lone,
conscience-salving day
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305. we toss these people a bone—
a turkey bone—
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306. and that's supposed
to make it all better.
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307. No, you won't find
Freddy the Freeloader
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308. or Emmett Kelly
or even Charlie Chaplin's
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309. beloved Little Tramp here...
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310. Pompous, blow-dried
college boy.
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311. You know, his girl friend
is the weather lady.
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312. You don't say?
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313. Everyone, Lisa wants to read us
a poem she's written.
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314. Sounds interesting.
Okay.
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315. "Howl of the Unappreciated"
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316. by Lisa Simpson.
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317. I saw the best meal...
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318. ( gasping )
It's Bart!
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319. What show
is this?
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320. How long have you been
on the streets?
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321. Going on five years, Kent.
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322. Son, your family may
be watching. Is there anything
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323. you'd like to say to them?
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324. Yes, there is, Kent.
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325. Ha, ha, I didn't apologize.
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326. Oh, no.
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327. My sweet, little Bart.
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328. Hello, operator?
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329. Give me the number for 911.
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330. Hey, thanks for
your help, fellas.
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331. This reporter smells
another local Emmy.
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332. Yeah, we're rooting
for you, guy.
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333. You got someplace
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334. to sleep tonight, Bart?
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335. Yeah, there's this family
I kinda hang out with.
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336. Sounds pretty sweet.
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337. Yeah, I guess it is.
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338. See you at Christmas.
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339. Listen, guys, I was thinking...
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340. unless you feel weird about
taking money from a kid
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341. I thought maybe...
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342. I wouldn't feel weird,
would you?
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343. No, I'm comfortable
with it.
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344. Will you forget the report?
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345. He's down at the rescue mission.
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346. We checked.
He's long gone.
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347. Can you think
of any reason
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348. he might have run away?
Anything at all?
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349. Well, we did
kind of yell at him
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350. and sent him to his room
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351. and tried to force him
to apologize to his sister.
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352. Uh-huh.
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353. And I said
he ruined Thanksgiving.
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354. Oh, I see.
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355. Best Thanksgiving ever
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356. eh, boy?
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357. Good-bye.
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358. Sorry.
I'm sure Bart
will be back.
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359. I would say something
comforting
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360. but, you know, my voice.
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361. Let's go!
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362. If I'm not back
at the home by 9:00
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363. they declare me
legally dead
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364. and collect
my insurance.
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365. Homer, this is
a terrible thing
that's happened.
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366. but we can't blame
ourselves.
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367. We can and will.
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368. Children need
discipline.
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369. You can ask any
syndicated advice
columnist.
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370. Marge, are we ever going
to see him again?
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371. Hmm, should I or shouldn't I?
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372. Hey everybody, I'm home.
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373. Bart,
you're home!
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374. Oh, my special little guy.
Mwah!
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375. We were so worried.
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376. It's great
to have you back, boy.
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377. We were afraid
we'd lost you.
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378. Welcome back, Bart.
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379. I'm sorry we had
such a terrible fight.
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380. Bart, isn't
there something
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381. you'd like to say
to your sister?
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382. Okay.
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383. I'm sorry too.
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384. No, no, no,
that won't do at all.
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385. Yeah, boy.
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386. Get on your knees
and beg for forgiveness!
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387. Yeah, beg me, Bart.
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388. Beg me!
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389. Lisa, I beg of you,
please, forgive me.
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390. We can blame him
for everything!
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391. It's your fault I'm bald!
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392. I'm sorry.
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393. It's your fault I'm old!
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394. I'm sorry.
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395. It's your fault
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396. I can't talk!
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397. I'm sorry.
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398. It's your fault
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399. America has lost
its way.
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400. I'm sorry.
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401. It's all your fault!
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402. I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry...
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403. I'm sorry, all right.
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404. Sorry I came back here.
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405. Aha!
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406. Whoa!
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407. My whiffle balls!
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408. My frisbees!
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409. My water rockets!
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410. I've hit the jackpot!
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411. A sell-out crowd
at the Super Bowl,
Simpson down by six
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412. with two seconds left.
Simpson fades back.
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413. He's got Simpson
in the open.
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414. Touchdown Simpson!
( mimics stadium cheers )
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415. The boy nobody wanted
just won the Super Bowl!
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416. Dear log, my brother
is still missing
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417. and maybe it's my fault
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418. because I failed
to take his abuse
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419. with good humor.
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420. I miss him so much already
that I don't know...
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421. ( whispering: )
Hey, Lise.
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422. Lisa.
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423. It's me, Bart.
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424. Bart, where are you?
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425. Shh. I'm on the roof.
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426. Bart, what are you
doing up here?
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427. Everybody's worried.
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428. Really? Did they cry?
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429. Yes.
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430. Whoa, bull's-eye.
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431. Bart, why did you burn
my centerpiece?
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432. Aw, come on.
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433. Was it because
you hate me
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434. - or because you're bad?
- I don't know.
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435. I don't know
why I did it.
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436. I don't know
why I enjoyed it
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437. and I don't know why
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438. I'll do it again.
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439. Just tell me
you're sorry.
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440. Why should I?
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441. Bart, the only reason
to apologize
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442. is if you look deep down
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443. inside yourself
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444. and you find a spot.
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445. Something you wish
wasn't there.
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446. Because you feel bad
you hurt your sister's feelings.
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447. Leave me alone.
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448. Just look!
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449. Okay, okay.
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450. ( muttering: )
Looking for the spot.
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451. Still checking.
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452. This is so stupid.
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453. I'm not going
to find anything.
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454. Just because I wrecked something
she worked really hard on
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455. and I made her cr...
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456. Uh-oh.
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457. I'm sorry, Lisa.
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458. Apology accepted.
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459. You know, Marge,
we're great parents.
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460. Oh Lord, on this blessed day,
we thank thee
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461. for giving our family
one more crack at togetherness.
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462. Amen.
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463. Shh!
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