1. Okay, the capital of
North Dakota
Copy !req
2. is named after what
German ruler?
Copy !req
3. Hitler!
Copy !req
4. Hitler, North Dakota?
Copy !req
5. - Bismarck.
Bismarck
Copy !req
6. Hitler?
Copy !req
7. Hey, I'm still
beating you, boy.
Copy !req
8. Okay, the colors of the
Italian flag are
red, white and what?
Copy !req
9. - Blue!
- Yellow
Copy !req
10. Red!
Purple! Green.
Copy !req
11. Orange! Black! Green!
Copy !req
12. Green.
Copy !req
13. I was right!
Copy !req
14. Okay, we'll be right
back with more Grade School
Challenge,
Copy !req
15. after this important message.
Copy !req
16. I used to think that losing
my hair was as inevitable
as the tides.
Copy !req
17. Then I found out about Dimoxinil
Copy !req
18. the new miracle breakthrough
in hair regrowth.
Copy !req
19. (gasps)
Miracle breakthrough?
Copy !req
20. There's been a miracle
breakthrough?
Copy !req
21. The odds are Dimoxinil
can help me grow
Copy !req
22. as much or as little hair
as I want to.
Copy !req
23. Hey, today I'm going to do it.
Copy !req
24. For your free brochure,
send five dollars to Dimoxinil
Copy !req
25. 485 Hair Plaza,
Hair City, Utah.
Copy !req
26. Hair.
Copy !req
27. Hair.
Copy !req
28. Just like everybody else.
Copy !req
29. You know, some women
Copy !req
30. find bald men
quite virile.
Copy !req
31. Marge, weren't you listening?
Copy !req
32. This is a miracle breakthrough
Copy !req
33. not one of these cheap-o,
sucker deals.
Copy !req
34. Allow me to present
the Dimoxinil action set
in its entirety.
Copy !req
35. A six-month supply
of the drug
Copy !req
36. the gravity boots
Copy !req
37. scalp massager
Copy !req
38. and your t-shirt.
Copy !req
39. Great, great, great.
How much? How much?
Copy !req
40. $1,000.
Copy !req
41. A thousand bucks?
Copy !req
42. I can't afford that.
Copy !req
43. Well, we do have a product
Copy !req
44. which is more
in your price range.
Copy !req
45. However, I must assure
you that any hair growth
Copy !req
46. you experience
while using it
Copy !req
47. will be purely coincidental.
Copy !req
48. A thousand bucks...
Copy !req
49. Of all the rip-off
Copy !req
50. screw job,
gyp joint...
Copy !req
51. Forget you, pal.
Copy !req
52. Thanks for nothing.
Copy !req
53. So I say, "Forget you, pal!
Copy !req
54. Thanks for nothing!"
Copy !req
55. and I stormed
right out of there.
Copy !req
56. Ha! That's telling him, Homer.
Copy !req
57. D-oh! I'm out of tartar sauce.
Copy !req
58. They call this a portion?
Copy !req
59. Hey, Lenny,
are you going to use
all of your tartar sauce?
Copy !req
60. Dry fish sticks. This sucks.
Copy !req
61. Quit complaining, chrome dome.
Copy !req
62. If I had hair
Copy !req
63. you wouldn't be calling me that.
Copy !req
64. Homer, don't be a sap
all of your life.
Copy !req
65. Just fill out a few medical
insurance forms creatively.
Copy !req
66. Charge that Dimoxinil stuff
to the company.
Copy !req
67. But it's a thousand bucks.
Copy !req
68. Burns would can my butt
in no time flat.
Copy !req
69. A thousand bucks—
so what?
Copy !req
70. To Mr. Burns, that's one
less ivory back scratcher.
Copy !req
71. Yeah. Besides, you pay into the
insurance fund every week.
Copy !req
72. What do you ever get out of it?
Copy !req
73. Nothing. Well, that newsletter.
Copy !req
74. Exactly. Why should you
get nothing
Copy !req
75. while some guy
who loses a finger
Copy !req
76. hits the jackpot?
Copy !req
77. You got me.
Copy !req
78. Uh, I'd like to charge
Copy !req
79. that Dimoxinil stuff
Copy !req
80. to my health insurance.
Copy !req
81. Look buddy, I don't know
who put you up to this
Copy !req
82. but no insurance plan
in this state
Copy !req
83. covers something as frivolous
as Dimoxinil.
Copy !req
84. Meet me in the alley
in 15 minutes.
Copy !req
85. Come alone.
Copy !req
86. Dear God,
give a bald guy a break.
Copy !req
87. Amen.
Copy !req
88. I have hair.
Copy !req
89. I have hair!
Copy !req
90. I have hair!
Copy !req
91. Look!
Copy !req
92. Look!
Copy !req
93. Good morning, Springfield!
Copy !req
94. Good morning,
Mr. And Mrs. Winfield!
Copy !req
95. Why don't you get a haircut,
you hippie!
Copy !req
96. Good morning, Moe's Tavern!
Copy !req
97. Hey, it's the president.
Copy !req
98. Good morning, everybody!
Copy !req
99. Good morning.
Copy !req
100. Good morning, everybody!
Copy !req
101. Good morning, Springfield!
Copy !req
102. Dimoxinil!
Dimoxinil!
Copy !req
103. Well, Homer Simpson.
Copy !req
104. Why, you haven't been here
in 20 years.
Copy !req
105. Hey, you got rid of
the sideburns.
Copy !req
106. ( chuckling )
Give me the usual.
Copy !req
107. He's much happier at work
Copy !req
108. and, well,
just between us girls
Copy !req
109. he hasn't been this frisky
in years.
Copy !req
110. I don't want
to think about it.
Copy !req
111. Daddy's home, Sugar.
Copy !req
112. Come here, you.
Copy !req
113. Ah, dinner with three
beautiful women.
Copy !req
114. I must be in heaven.
Copy !req
115. This is Homer?
Copy !req
116. Oh, my.
Copy !req
117. Patty,
stop drooling.
Copy !req
118. Look who's talking.
Copy !req
119. Something's different
about you, Homer.
Copy !req
120. You lose some weight?
Copy !req
121. Yeah, you look like
you got a tan.
Copy !req
122. I know what it is: a new tie.
Copy !req
123. Morons...
Copy !req
124. pathetic morons in my employ
Copy !req
125. stealing my precious money.
Copy !req
126. This is hopeless.
None of these cretins
deserves a promotion.
Copy !req
127. It's in the union contract, sir.
Copy !req
128. One token promotion
from within per year.
Copy !req
129. Wait!
Copy !req
130. Who is that
young go-getter?
Copy !req
131. Well, it sort of looks like
Homer Simpson
Copy !req
132. only more dynamic
and resourceful.
Copy !req
133. Simpson, huh?
Copy !req
134. Hmm. An unspoiled lump of clay
to mold in my own image.
Copy !req
135. Our new junior executive.
Copy !req
136. Bring him to me!
Copy !req
137. Attention! Homer Simpson.
Copy !req
138. You have been promoted.
Copy !req
139. You are now an executive.
Copy !req
140. Take three minutes to say
good-bye to your former friends
Copy !req
141. and report to room #503
for reassignment
Copy !req
142. to a better life.
Copy !req
143. Well, your resume
seems in order.
Copy !req
144. Besides typing and stuff
Copy !req
145. do you have any other
qualifications I should
know about?
Copy !req
146. I give great back rubs
to harried executives.
Copy !req
147. Here, let me show you.
Copy !req
148. Uh, no, no. That'll be fine.
Copy !req
149. Thank you. Good-bye.
Copy !req
150. Hello?
Copy !req
151. Hello, Homie.
How's my big,
important executive?
Copy !req
152. Oh Marge, every woman I
interview for the
secretary job
Copy !req
153. makes kissy faces at me.
Copy !req
154. Hmm...
Copy !req
155. Hello, Mr. Simpson.
Copy !req
156. I'm Karl.
Copy !req
157. He sounds good. Hire him.
Copy !req
158. I'll call ya' back, Marge.
Copy !req
159. Simpson.
Meeting in the
board room tomorrow at 2:00.
Copy !req
160. Just sit there and
keep your mouth shut,
got it?
Copy !req
161. Yes, Mr. Smithers.
Copy !req
162. He thinks he's so big.
Copy !req
163. You don't belong here.
Copy !req
164. Huh?
Copy !req
165. You don't belong here.
Copy !req
166. You're a fraud,
Copy !req
167. and a phony, and it's
only a matter of time
Copy !req
168. until they find you out.
Copy !req
169. Who told you?
Copy !req
170. You did. You told me
with the way you slump
your shoulders.
Copy !req
171. The way you talk
into your chest.
Copy !req
172. The way you
smother yourself
Copy !req
173. in bargain basement
lime green polyester.
Copy !req
174. I want you
Copy !req
175. to say to yourself
Copy !req
176. "I deserve this."
Copy !req
177. "I love it."
Copy !req
178. "I am nature's
greatest miracle."
Copy !req
179. Go ahead, say it.
Copy !req
180. I deser...
Copy !req
181. Trust me, Homer.
Copy !req
182. Take a step and say it!
Copy !req
183. I deserve this.
Copy !req
184. Louder!
Copy !req
185. I deserve this!
Copy !req
186. Shout it!
Copy !req
187. I am nature's greatest miracle!
Copy !req
188. I'll need three weeks vacation
and moving expenses.
Copy !req
189. You've got it, buddy!
Copy !req
190. Let's go shopping!
Copy !req
191. Oooh... beauty.
Copy !req
192. A man's suit
Copy !req
193. should make him
feel like a prince.
Copy !req
194. It should cry out to the world,
"Here I am."
Copy !req
195. "Don't judge me. Love me."
Copy !req
196. Do any of these
suits do that?
Copy !req
197. No.
Copy !req
198. Woo! I like this.
Copy !req
199. No, no, no,
stand naturally, Mr. Simpson.
Copy !req
200. Let it all
hang out.
Copy !req
201. You, conceal it.
Copy !req
202. Mom and Dad
have been smooching again.
Copy !req
203. Got to run, Marge.
Can't be late!
Copy !req
204. Happy Anniversary, Homer.
Copy !req
205. What? Our anniversary?
Copy !req
206. Are you sure?
Copy !req
207. Don't worry, Homie.
Copy !req
208. This year you have an excuse
for not remembering
Copy !req
209. what with your job and...
Copy !req
210. Happy Anniversary,
Mrs. Homer Simpson!
Copy !req
211. Homer...
Copy !req
212. Hello?
Copy !req
213. Mr. Simpson, it's Karl.
Copy !req
214. Ah, it sounds like everything
has arrived.
Copy !req
215. Wonderful.
Copy !req
216. You did this?
Copy !req
217. Yes sir. I hope I didn't
overstep my bounds.
Copy !req
218. I love you, Homer!
Copy !req
219. I love you, Karl... Marge.
Copy !req
220. Proceed, Smithers.
Copy !req
221. Our first issue, sir,
is our low productivity
Copy !req
222. and record-high
Copy !req
223. worker accident rate.
Copy !req
224. Guh! Any suggestions?
Copy !req
225. A round of layoffs might
wake up the idiots.
Copy !req
226. We can put caffeine in
the water cooler.
Copy !req
227. Those are my ideas!
Copy !req
228. You people don't think,
you regurgitate!
Copy !req
229. That's why I promoted someone
who's in touch with the workers.
Copy !req
230. You.
Copy !req
231. I think you mean him, sir.
Copy !req
232. You then.
How would you improve
the workers' situation?
Copy !req
233. Well, I...
Copy !req
234. well, sir, for one thing,
we had a problem
every Tuesday
Copy !req
235. when the cafeteria
would serve fish sticks...
Copy !req
236. Fish sticks! What in blazes are
you talking about?
Copy !req
237. Well sir, they cut the
head off the fish
Copy !req
238. and chop up the rest
of the sticks and then
put seasoned bread crumbs—
Copy !req
239. I know what fish sticks are!
Copy !req
240. Get to the point!
Copy !req
241. You only get this tiny
Copy !req
242. little cup of tartar sauce
to dip them in
Copy !req
243. and I always run out.
Copy !req
244. Will you stop
wasting our time, Simpson.
Copy !req
245. Shut up, Smithers.
Copy !req
246. Can't you see what he's saying?
A happy worker is a busy worker.
Copy !req
247. Three cents' worth
of tartar sauce
Copy !req
248. could save us thousands
of man-hours in labor.
Copy !req
249. I like the cut
of your jib, Simpson.
Copy !req
250. Let the fools
have their tartar sauce.
Copy !req
251. Enjoy your
tartar sauce, boys.
Enjoy!
Copy !req
252. Give me your plates.
Copy !req
253. Don't crowd.
Copy !req
254. Plenty for everybody!
Copy !req
255. Hmm, brilliant.
Copy !req
256. Who could ever have imagined
that Simpson's sweeping reforms
Copy !req
257. would pay off so quickly?
Copy !req
258. You know sir,
accidents decreased
by exactly the number
Copy !req
259. that Simpson himself
Copy !req
260. has known or suspected
to have caused last month.
Copy !req
261. And our output level
was just as high
Copy !req
262. during Simpson's last vacation.
Copy !req
263. My dear, tired old Smithers...
Copy !req
264. do I detect a note of jealousy?
Copy !req
265. It is time.
Copy !req
266. Give Simpson...
Copy !req
267. the key.
Copy !req
268. Mr. Simpson
Copy !req
269. don't sit on
that filthy thing
Copy !req
270. one second longer.
Copy !req
271. They've given you the key.
Copy !req
272. The key?
Copy !req
273. Who's got the key?
Copy !req
274. Stunning.
Copy !req
275. Absolutely stunning.
Copy !req
276. Hey, ho, men.
Copy !req
277. You know I was watching
the Dumont last night
Copy !req
278. and I happened to catch
a fascinating documentary
Copy !req
279. on Rommel, The Desert Fox.
Copy !req
280. Now there's a man
who could get things done.
Copy !req
281. Towel, please, Simpson.
Copy !req
282. Allow me, sir.
Copy !req
283. I said Simpson.
Copy !req
284. Sure thing, Mr. Burns.
Copy !req
285. Well done, Simpson.
Copy !req
286. Now walk behind me
down the hallway.
Copy !req
287. Can do, sir.
Copy !req
288. "$1,000?
Copy !req
289. "Dimoxinil?
Copy !req
290. Keep brain from freezing?"
Copy !req
291. Now I've got you, Simpson.
Copy !req
292. m Homer, between your hair
care products and new wardrobe
Copy !req
293. we're not saving anything
for a rainy day.
Copy !req
294. Rainy day! There's never going
to be a rainy day, Marge.
Copy !req
295. There's not a cloud
in the Simpson sky.
Copy !req
296. And what does
my little girl want?
Copy !req
297. An absence of mood swings
and some stability in my life.
Copy !req
298. How about a pony?
Copy !req
299. Okay.
Copy !req
300. I want you to weave
Copy !req
301. that patented Simpson magic
with my executives.
Copy !req
302. A short speech.
Copy !req
303. Work, work, work.
You know.
Copy !req
304. Okay, what the hey?
Copy !req
305. Excellent.
Copy !req
306. Set you to your task, Simpson.
Copy !req
307. Uh, Mr. Burns,
it is my sad duty
Copy !req
308. to report that one
of your executives
Copy !req
309. has bilked the company insurance
plan out of $1,000.
Copy !req
310. What?
Blast his hide to Hades!
Copy !req
311. I was going to buy
that ivory back scratcher.
Copy !req
312. How did he do it?
Copy !req
313. He charged the company
for Dimoxinil.
Copy !req
314. It's a baldness cure.
Copy !req
315. Thank you very much,
professor science.
Copy !req
316. I know what Dimoxinil is.
Copy !req
317. Now, go make an example
of this hooligan.
Copy !req
318. With pleasure, sir.
Copy !req
319. Karl, you got to help me.
Copy !req
320. Mr. Burns wants me to make
some speech to his executives...
Copy !req
321. What do you want?
Copy !req
322. Just thought I'd drop by
Copy !req
323. to tell you that you're fired.
Copy !req
324. What?
Copy !req
325. Our company does not
look kindly upon $1,000
Copy !req
326. worth of insurance fraud.
Copy !req
327. Clean out your desk
by noon, Simpson.
Copy !req
328. Wait, Mr. Smithers.
Copy !req
329. Homer Simpson is innocent.
Copy !req
330. I did this.
Copy !req
331. You did?
What are you
talking about?
Copy !req
332. Mr. Simpson was unaware
of any impropriety.
Copy !req
333. I take full responsibility.
Copy !req
334. Really?
Copy !req
335. Oh.
Copy !req
336. Well, then, you're fired,
whoever you are.
Copy !req
337. Here's your $1,000.
Copy !req
338. Hey, what do you care
if this guy's bald?
Copy !req
339. My reasons... are my own.
Copy !req
340. Karl, you saved me.
Copy !req
341. Why?
Copy !req
342. Have I done something
extraordinary here today?
Copy !req
343. No.
Copy !req
344. I did what I was born to do—
Copy !req
345. what any good soldier
would have done
Copy !req
346. when a live grenade
Copy !req
347. threatened his commander.
Copy !req
348. I threw myself upon it
Copy !req
349. and bore its terrible brunt.
Copy !req
350. Thanks, Karl.
Copy !req
351. I don't know what to say.
Copy !req
352. Just walk me to my car.
Copy !req
353. Bye, Karl.
Copy !req
354. I'm going to miss you.
Copy !req
355. Bye, Mr. Simpson.
Copy !req
356. Oh, Mr. Simpson, did you
bring an umbrella today?
Copy !req
357. D-ohh! No.
Copy !req
358. Here.
Copy !req
359. Okay, okay, okay, you're broke.
You're flat broke.
Copy !req
360. You don't have Karl anymore.
He's not here, but you've
got your hair.
Copy !req
361. That's right.
It's all about hair.
Copy !req
362. Oh, that big speech.
Copy !req
363. Aha!
Copy !req
364. Hey, what's happening,
hep cats?
Copy !req
365. No way!
Copy !req
366. It's gotta be a fake.
Copy !req
367. It's like realsville, Daddy-o.
Copy !req
368. Bart!
Copy !req
369. What are you doing?
Copy !req
370. Uh-oh.
Copy !req
371. ( screams )
Aaahh!
Copy !req
372. Why, you little...
Copy !req
373. Uh-oh.
Copy !req
374. Boy... must...
Copy !req
375. die!
Copy !req
376. I love you, Dad.
Copy !req
377. D-oh!
Copy !req
378. Dirty trick.
Copy !req
379. Okay. I'm not gonna kill you
Copy !req
380. but I'm going to tell you
three things
Copy !req
381. that are going to haunt you
for the rest of your days.
Copy !req
382. You've ruined your father.
Copy !req
383. You've crippled your family
Copy !req
384. and baldness is hereditary.
Copy !req
385. It is?
Copy !req
386. Oh, Homer, why don't you
just call the pharmacy.
Copy !req
387. I don't have 1,000 bucks!
Copy !req
388. But you do, don't you, Marge?
You do. You do...
Copy !req
389. You've been squirreling it away,
haven't you?
Copy !req
390. Saving it for a rainy day,
that's what you've said,
right, right?
Copy !req
391. Homer!
Copy !req
392. Dad is taking this
in a less-than-heroic fashion.
Copy !req
393. Oh, Homie, I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
394. Got that big speech
in five minutes,
Simpson huh?
Copy !req
395. You're not going
to hang yourself, are you?
Copy !req
396. D-ohh!
Copy !req
397. Huh?
Copy !req
398. "Dear Mr. Simpson
Copy !req
399. "I've taken the liberty
of preparing your speech
Copy !req
400. "on the enclosed
numbered three-by-five cards.
Copy !req
401. "all the big words
are spelled...
Copy !req
402. "pho-en-ne-net-tically.
Copy !req
403. "God bless you.
Copy !req
404. "You are one of Springfield's
very special creatures.
Copy !req
405. Your obedient servant, Karl."
Copy !req
406. Good luck, sir.
Copy !req
407. Ah!
Karl.
Copy !req
408. So that wasn't just a
sweet voice I heard
inside my head.
Copy !req
409. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
410. I just came to say good-bye
to the gals in the typing pool.
Copy !req
411. Yeah, well.
Thanks for the speech, Karl
but I can't give it.
Copy !req
412. Look at me.
Copy !req
413. I guess I haven't
taught you anything.
Copy !req
414. What do you mean?
Copy !req
415. Don't you see?
The tartar sauce,
the bathroom key
Copy !req
416. drying your boss's hands.
Copy !req
417. You did it all.
Copy !req
418. It was never the hair.
Copy !req
419. You did it because you believed
you could and you still can.
Copy !req
420. No I can't.
I'm just a big fool.
Copy !req
421. Oh no, you're not.
Copy !req
422. How do you know?
Copy !req
423. Because my mother taught me
to never kiss a fool.
Copy !req
424. Karl.
Copy !req
425. Now go get them, tiger.
Copy !req
426. And now with some fresh insights
Copy !req
427. one of the rising young stars
of our nuclear family
Copy !req
428. Homer Simpson.
Copy !req
429. What in blazes?
Copy !req
430. Who is that old geezer?
Copy !req
431. What has he done
with Homer Simpson?
Copy !req
432. He is Homer Simpson, sir.
Copy !req
433. Uh, a lot of you
Copy !req
434. would think I was crazy
if I did this.
Copy !req
435. He's crazy!
Copy !req
436. Yet we at this power plant
Copy !req
437. are doing this
every hour of every day.
Copy !req
438. Bloated inventories,
outmoded production methods.
Copy !req
439. I can save this company
millions of dollars a year.
Copy !req
440. How?
Copy !req
441. Through Jiko Kandri
Copy !req
442. the Japanese art
of self-management.
Copy !req
443. This bald man
has no ideas.
Copy !req
444. If this is a joke,
I'm not laughing.
Copy !req
445. Some nerve—
telling us how to run the plant.
Copy !req
446. He doesn't even have hair.
Copy !req
447. inefficiently mining uranium
Copy !req
448. that can be purchased quite
cheaply on the foreign market.
Copy !req
449. The long-term benefits
Copy !req
450. more than offsetting
the one-time cost
Copy !req
451. for a net savings
of five thousand, two...
Copy !req
452. lots of money.
Copy !req
453. Mr. Burns' office.
Copy !req
454. Right now.
Copy !req
455. Dead man coming through.
Copy !req
456. Mr.
Well, well, well
Copy !req
457. our dashing
young "junior" executive.
Copy !req
458. You made a hollow mockery
of our morning meeting, Simpson.
Copy !req
459. I should fire you on the spot.
Copy !req
460. But...
Copy !req
461. I'm not going to.
Copy !req
462. Uh, why?
Copy !req
463. Simpsons, how old
do you think I am?
Copy !req
464. I don't know. 102?
Copy !req
465. I'm only 81.
Copy !req
466. You may find this
hard to believe
Copy !req
467. but in my salad days
Copy !req
468. my crowning glory
Copy !req
469. was a bright shock
of strawberry blonde curls.
Copy !req
470. Oh, I was big man on campus
until my senior year
Copy !req
471. when I became as bald
as a plucked chicken.
Copy !req
472. You see, Simpson
Copy !req
473. I, too, know the sting
of male pattern baldness.
Copy !req
474. That's why I'm giving you
your old job back.
Copy !req
475. What?
Copy !req
476. Oh, thank you, thank you.
Copy !req
477. Now get out of here
before I reconsider.
Copy !req
478. Oh.
Copy !req
479. Better hurry up.
Copy !req
480. Homer, are you
still awake?
Copy !req
481. I've never been
more awake in my life.
Copy !req
482. What's wrong?
Copy !req
483. Are you kidding?
Copy !req
484. I'm stuck
in that dead-end job again.
Copy !req
485. The kids are going to hate me
Copy !req
486. 'cause I can't buy them
all that stuff I promised them
Copy !req
487. and you're not going
to love me as much
Copy !req
488. 'cause I'm ugly and bald.
Copy !req
489. Oh, Homer.
Copy !req
490. Your job has always
put food on our table
Copy !req
491. and the kids
will get over it.
Copy !req
492. And?
Copy !req
493. And what about loving me?
Copy !req
494. Oh, Homer, I...
Copy !req
495. Come here.
Copy !req
496. Why?
Copy !req
497. Come here.
Copy !req
498. Aw.
Copy !req
499. Shh!
Copy !req