1. Oh, for the
love of...
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2. Huh?
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3. Ah, Halloween:
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4. the one night when we can walk
the streets undetected.
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5. Hey, lame-os.
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6. Turner Classic
Movies called.
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7. They want
their costumes back.
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8. We lame-os?
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9. I have a remedy
for our predicament.
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10. Into this costumery.
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11. Yeah?
Oh.
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12. Friends of Homer's?
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13. They're not my friends.
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14. We brought a bottle of booze.
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15. Boooooze!
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16. Come in! Come in!
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17. Mmm.
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18. Good!
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19. Beer good.
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20. You good.
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21. You said you were going out
to kill children tonight.
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22. We were,
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23. then we bumped into
our old friend,
the-the-the—
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24. my man here!
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25. You'll be sucking
your own blood tonight.
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26. Let's get 'em, girls!
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27. Bad Wolf!
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28. Bad!
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29. Lighten up, ladies.
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30. It's not cheating
when you're wearing a costume!
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31. Not the face!
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32. It's time to announce my choice
to represent our class
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33. at the National Reading Roundup.
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34. Here it comes.
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35. My choice is...
Hubert Wong!
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36. Wha...?
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37. Hooray for Different-Face!
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38. Congratulations,
Hubert.
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39. Or should I congratulate
your tutor:
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40. Amelia,
at the Homework Factory!
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41. Your victory is tainted!
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42. Asterisk! Asterisk!
Lisa,
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43. don't take it personally.
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44. I barely spent any time
on this decision.
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45. Asterisk! Asterisk!
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46. Asterisk!
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47. Lisa Simpson
in detention?
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48. My horoscope told me I'd see
something interesting today,
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49. but I thought that meant
the horoscope itself!
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50. Stupid Miss Hoover.
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51. I heard about your run-in
with Hoover.
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52. Aren't teachers
the worst?
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53. I don't want to
talk about it.
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54. Listen, you're
a smart kid.
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55. I bet you like ideas.
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56. I do.
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57. Well, I just had a whopper!
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58. What if you got revenge
on Krabappel for me,
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59. and I got revenge
on Hoover for you?
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60. Crisscross!
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61. Interesting.
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62. With no obvious motive,
no one would suspect us.
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63. Exactly! Crisscross!
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64. Do we have a deal?
Thanks,
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65. but I'll pass.
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66. If I say "crisscross"
one more time,
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67. will that change
your mind?
Listen,
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68. you're a persistent
fellow, but I...
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69. Crisscross!
I'm in.
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70. Bart, have you established
your alibi?
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71. Yep. I'm at the tennis match.
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72. And people will remember
you were there?
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73. I'm pretty sure they will.
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74. Mm-hmm.
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75. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
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76. Hello?
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77. Hello? Oh!
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78. I've been ding-dong-ditched!
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79. Crisscross.
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80. You should've seen the look
on Krabappel's face!
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81. And you should've seen
the look on Hoover's face.
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82. In fact,
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83. here it is.
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84. You killed her?
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85. Right. Like we agreed.
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86. I never said "kill"!
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87. Yeah, 'cause you're smart.
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88. You don't say "kill,"
you say "prank."
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89. Like Mom and Dad
say "snuggle"
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90. when what they
really mean is
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91. "let's lock the
door and hug."
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92. Well, I didn't kill
Mrs. Krabappel!
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93. So, all you did was ring
her doorbell and run?
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94. Yeah, ding-dong-ditch!
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95. "Ding-dong-ditch"
means you kill her,
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96. then you throw that
ding-dong into a ditch.
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97. Geez, pick up a book.
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98. You're a monster!
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99. A deal's a deal,
little sister.
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100. Tomorrow after school,
go to her house and t.p. her.
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101. That's it?
Just t.p. her?
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102. Yeah, torture and pulverize her.
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103. Then ding-dong-ditch the body
and we're even.
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104. I think I'm gonna
be sick.
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105. Oh, Lisa!
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106. Come hold this blade so it
doesn't slice through my neck.
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107. Come on.
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108. I trust you completely.
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109. Slice her like a bagel!
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110. Ah, got it!
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111. Thanks, Lisa.
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112. Last thing I want is
to be sliced in two—
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113. you know, like a bagel.
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114. Bart?
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115. I've been waiting
for you...
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116. and trying to figure out
how girls pee.
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117. Sorry, Bart, I couldn't do it!
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118. There's got to be another way.
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119. What if I gave you
homework help?
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120. I won't give you
the answers,
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121. but I'll give you the tools
to find the answers yourself.
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122. No dice.
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123. Either take care of Krabappel,
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124. or Groundskeeper Willie will say
he saw you kill Miss Hoover.
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125. Why would Willie do that?
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126. Let's just say...
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127. he owes me a favor.
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128. Crisscross!
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129. Like the plaid
on me kilt!
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130. You're not wearing
a kilt.
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131. Uh-oh.
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132. All right, Bart.
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133. I guess I have
no choice.
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134. I have to kill...
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135. you!
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136. Ice cream!
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137. Go ahead, do it.
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138. You're no different from me.
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139. We're made from the same dinna.
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140. It's pronounced D-N-A,
you idiot.
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141. And we are not the same.
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142. I am not a murderer,
and I never will be!
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143. Well done, Lisa!
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144. It was an accident,
I swear!
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145. Sure. An accident.
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146. Ha!
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147. Ay caramba, you little snot.
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148. I'm here at Krustyburger
for the launch
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149. of the highly anticipated
"Burger Squared."
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150. Krusty, what
can you tell us
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151. about this fantastic
new sandwich?
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152. I'm glad you
asked, Kent.
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153. We start
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154. with Grade A beef,
feed that to other cows,
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155. then kill them
and serve the unholy results
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156. on a seven-grain bun.
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157. Burger Squared!
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158. The math checks out!
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159. Cows eating cows?
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160. That's an abomination!
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161. Now, Lisa,
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162. you're a vegetarian,
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163. but these cows have made
a different choice.
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164. And now, this lucky reporter
will be the first human
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165. to sample this delicious crime
against nature.
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166. Mmm.
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167. Juicy, flavorful,
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168. with just a hint of...
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169. Hey!
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170. That's my check-cashing
arm, you stupid...
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171. A little tip: you might want
to wash me before you eat me.
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172. Thank you.
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173. The munchers got Moe!
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174. Well, we're not going
out to help him.
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175. We have no idea what hideous
creatures might be out there!
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176. Please, let me in!
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177. How do I know
you're not a muncher?
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178. I'm your father
and I need your help!
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179. I can't make sense
of that muncher talk!
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180. Hungry.
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181. So hungry.
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182. There's nothing to eat.
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183. Except this.
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184. There's gotta be something yummy
out there.
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185. A hamburger!
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186. Bart ate
a tainted burger!
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187. I'll bash him
with this book!
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188. Dad!
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189. No! That's the last book
in the world!
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190. Really?
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191. Yes! It's— oh.
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192. Go ahead.
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193. Wait!
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194. The burger didn't change me!
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195. I'm not a muncher!
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196. Oh, my God.
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197. If Bart could eat the burger
and survive,
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198. then maybe he can yield the key
to an anti-muncher vaccine!
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199. Then we must keep this boy
safe from harm!
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200. Better call Dr. Hibbert.
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201. Well, I suppose
Bart could be immune—
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202. a genetic "chosen one,"
if you will.
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203. If so, secrets locked
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204. within his blood could
be the key to saving humanity.
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205. You must get him immediately
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206. to the safe zone,
just outside of town.
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207. If you see my wife,
tell her I love her.
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208. You mean tell her
I love her?
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209. Or I meaning you?
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210. Mm, I'll just
high-five her.
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211. Now remember, no loud noises.
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212. Oh, man, that
breeze feels good!
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213. To the panic room!
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214. We don't have
a panic room!
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215. To the panic room store!
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216. Come with me
if you want to live.
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217. Another politician
who can't keep his promises.
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218. Psst!
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219. This way.
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220. Well, this day can't
get any crazier.
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221. Apu, how did you survive?
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222. Well, as a vegetarian,
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223. I did not consume
any tainted burgers,
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224. and as a convenience store
owner, I am armed to the teeth.
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225. We need windows, too!
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226. Shoot her!
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227. I can't shoot her.
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228. She's Lisa's godmother.
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229. You can apologize in hell!
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230. I guess I could.
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231. Hmm?
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232. What the...?
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233. I will get
out and push.
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234. No matter what, Bart must
make it to the safe zone.
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235. That was so noble of Apu
to give his life for us.
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236. Where are you going?
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237. You were supposed to stop
at the bottom and wait for me!
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238. I don't see the
safe zone anywhere.
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239. Let's play a game.
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240. Who gets to carry
the chosen one?
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241. Ow!
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242. Aw, did the chosen one hurt
his chosen little noggin?
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243. Ow! Ow! Ow!
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244. Ow! Quit it. Ow!
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245. Quit it!
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246. Well, well, well.
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247. Who's an unproductive
worker now?
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248. Got your nose.
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249. Why you...
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250. Homie, where
have you been?
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251. Dad, are you becoming a muncher?
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252. I think the better brains is,
are you brains a brains?
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253. Where do you want it,
the mouth or the eyes?
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254. Ooh, mouth.
Eyes it is.
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255. No! When we get you
to the safe zone,
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256. we can cure your father!
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257. Safe zone?
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258. You really think
there's a safe zone?
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259. Well, you're right.
It's right over there.
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260. Let us in.
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261. We have the chosen one!
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262. Oh...!
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263. Welcome, son.
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264. To survive, all we must
do is eat your flesh.
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265. Hold it right there, bub.
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266. What kind of civilized people
eat the body
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267. and blood of their savior?
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268. There must be another way.
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269. Hmm...
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270. Time has passed.
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271. Children play in the streets.
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272. At night,
there is music and laughter.
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273. And all we had to do was let
Bart take a bath in our food.
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274. Hey, Lis,
want some soup?
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275. Mm-hmm.
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276. How's about pouring
me a beer, ugly?
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277. How about some
of my new microbrew?
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278. Must be another mouse
in the pipe.
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279. Let's see
if this cobra solves it.
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280. Nothing.
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281. Huh.
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282. An unattended tap!
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283. Like taking beer
from a baby!
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284. Oh!
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285. Oh, my God, Homer!
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286. Just try to relax.
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287. Okay, don't relax!
Don't relax!
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288. Oh, Marge, the most
awful thing just happened!
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289. What is it, Moe?
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290. Um...
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291. She's so beautiful,
it makes my heart take wing!
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292. Look at me!
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293. I can fl... Ow! Ow! Aah!
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294. Um, Marge, Homer,
uh, just ran out
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295. saying he don't love you,
and he never did.
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296. He what?
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297. Help me!
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298. That, uh... that's me.
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299. I've been taking
ventriloquism lessons.
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300. Help me or kill me!
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301. Huh? Huh!
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302. Now, let Dr. Moe cure
what ails you.
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303. There's something odd
about this beer.
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304. This is the best
musical in light years.
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305. Light years measure
distance, not time.
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306. You know
what I meant.
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307. So, Marge, uh, Homer's been gone
a whole week, huh?
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308. Ooh, in an unrelated matter,
I just put on cologne
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309. and shaved my knuckles.
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310. I'm still hoping
Homie will come back.
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311. Marge, I've got some
bad news to give you.
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312. It's a letter from Homer
on my stationery
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313. in my handwriting,
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314. using my idioms
and speech patterns.
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315. And it begins, "Dear Midge:
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316. "you probably hate me by now,
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317. "and if you don't,
what's wrong which youse?
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318. "But don't give up on men.
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319. Bart, Linda and the other one
there need a dad."
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320. That does sound like Homer.
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321. "The reason
I left you is simple."
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322. "I'm gay."?
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323. Yeah, read on. It gets gayer.
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324. So, what do think, Marge?
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325. Will you give Moe a throw?
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326. Hmm, well...
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327. Maybe you need a little more
milk of amnesia.
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328. Dang, I'm missing
the secret ingredient.
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329. Uh, let me squeeze some more out
of the secret ingredient bag.
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330. Uh-oh.
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331. Looks like I got to wing it
a little bit here.
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332. The other day,
I ran into an Irishman.
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333. Oh, really?
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334. No, O'Reilly.
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335. Oh, uh, I see we're,
uh, back in business.
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336. Now, a little more hemoglobin,
and your wife will be disrobin'.
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337. I can't talk now.
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338. I'm watching a play.
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339. You want how much
for a radiator?
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340. Is that new or rebuilt?
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341. There.
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342. Oh. Oh. Oh, my God,
I've never felt so...
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343. uncreeped-out by you!
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344. Marge, I loves youse.
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345. Will youse be mines?
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346. I guess it is time to move on.
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347. Before you do, I just
got to warn you, Marge.
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348. Homer, does this mean
you still love me?
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349. Of course I do, Marge.
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350. Can you still love a man
who's half-beer?
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351. I always have.
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352. To love!
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353. Shh!
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