1. D'oh.
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2. How will the Springfielder
of the future get around town?
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3. Will he be like Bus-stop Bill,
caught out in the rain?
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4. Or will he be like Subway Sam,
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5. packed like a tuna
on the Springfield Metro Line?
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6. Here he can rub shoulders
with fellow businessmen
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7. and share their deadly germs.
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8. These two men
might as well be kissing.
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9. Is there no way to get to work
in comfort, safety and style?
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10. Well, it looks like
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11. Motorcar Mel's got the answer.
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12. He's cruising
at 130 miles an hour
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13. in a plutonium-powered auto
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14. on the spacious skyway
of tomorrow.
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15. And it's got plenty of room
for all of Mrs. Mel's shopping.
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16. All that's left is
to pick Junior up from school.
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17. Looks like that robot arm
needs a little adjustment.
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18. Well, that concludes...
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19. I don't really know
what that was.
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20. Now please take out
your homework.
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21. Homework? What homework?
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22. We had to build a
Hopi Indian pueblo.
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23. Mine features
indigenous Hopi songs.
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24. What's this?
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25. A promoter has arrived
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26. to entice the tribe
to perform in a Wild West show.
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27. Unfortunately,
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28. the chief doesn't read
the contract very carefully.
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29. The good news is, over
a hundred years later,
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30. a brilliant little
boy receives an "A"
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31. for his amazing
presentation.
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32. Ah...
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33. Bravo, Martin. Bravo.
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34. Well, let's see what the rest
of you dullards have to offer.
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35. Uh-oh.
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36. Oh.
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37. Damn it.
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38. Okay, don't panic.
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39. I can build one of those things
from the crap in my desk.
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40. Bart Simpson, you've had
three months to do this project.
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41. You started
30 seconds ago.
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42. Thank you. Thank you.
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43. I'm not complimenting you.
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44. You've destroyed every ideal
I've had about teaching
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45. since I saw To Sir, With Love
as a little girl.
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46. Ha-ha. You're old.
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47. I saw it on video
in the '80s.
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48. Outdated medium.
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49. I stand by my ha-ha.
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50. Bart, I'm sending
your parents a letter.
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51. "Irresponsible,
unprepared, bad seed..."
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52. Good guy.
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53. "Bad guy."
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54. Signed... stamped and sealed.
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55. So, can I deliver that
to the office for you?
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56. Hah. I wasn't
born yesterday.
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57. Hah. Tell me about it.
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58. Ugh.
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59. Martin?
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60. Outgoing mail slot. Now.
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61. Got to stop that letter.
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62. Oh, fire alarm.
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63. Ooh, that means
firemen.
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64. Sixth-graders? No.
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65. I'm sure it's
a training bra.
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66. PG-13.
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67. I have an unwanted boner.
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68. Yes.
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69. Hoisting a bag.
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70. Ay, there's no better feeling
on earth.
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71. Now what are you up to?
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72. Whatever happened to "Hi"?
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73. Hi.
Now what are you up to?
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74. A letter's coming from
school, and I need to be home
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75. to keep Mom and Dad
from getting it.
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76. Mom. I have a fever.
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77. Ooh, 103.
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78. No school today.
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79. Then again, there's only one way
to get a truly accurate reading.
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80. Bart, pants.
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81. Just close your eyes
and think of Milhouse.
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82. Yup. 103 on the dot.
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83. You're staying home.
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84. How did you...?
I don't want
to talk about it.
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85. I got to get that letter
before Mom and Dad do.
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86. Stay focused.
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87. Focused.
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88. Focused.
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89. Focused.
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90. Oh.
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91. Credit card offer,
overdue bill,
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92. credit card
offer, overdue bill.
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93. Huh? What's this?
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94. What the...?
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95. You're a month behind
on homework?
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96. I tried really hard
to stop you from finding out.
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97. Does that help?
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98. A little!
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99. These are Bart's
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100. uncompleted
homework assignments
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101. for the last month:
worksheets, problem sets,
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102. book reports, math jumbles,
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103. dioramas, topic sentences,
conclusions,
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104. bibliographies, synonyms,
mean-the-sames,
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105. define-a-likes, word twins
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106. and one Thanksgiving
hand-turkey.
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107. One month?
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108. That's a heavy workload
for a fourth grader.
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109. I say this boy needs
more homework.
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110. I don't have to do it
with him, do I?
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111. No.
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112. Pile it on.
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113. I want him to be Korean
by the time he's done.
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114. Hmm. Clean dishes.
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115. I either have to unload them,
or, uh...
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116. Oh. Thanks for doing
the dishes.
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117. No problem.
You can unload.
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118. You know, I think Bart
might have too much homework.
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119. If they keep overwhelming him,
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120. he might be turned off school
forever.
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121. Oh, my. A child
who doesn't enjoy school?
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122. Hello? Hollywood?
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123. You want to buy the movie rights
to this incredible story?
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124. A million dollars?
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125. Deal.
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126. Oh, now I have to write it.
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127. Digibot, Go-go-goman
has the crystal life ball.
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128. Wow, how does this show
stay so fresh?
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129. Hey.
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130. You're supposed to be
doing your homework.
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131. No more TV for you.
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132. Until your
homework is done,
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133. the only place
your butt is safe
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134. from my foot is
in that chair.
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135. Oh.
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136. It's okay, Bart.
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137. Just do a couple
vocabulary words,
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138. then come have some
milk and cookies.
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139. But Dad said
I had to finish my...
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140. Never mind
what he said.
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141. You just
listen to me.
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142. Hey, Lis, Mom and Dad just
told me two different things.
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143. How is that possible?
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144. Well, sometimes people
who agree on most things
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145. have one issue that
they disagree strongly about.
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146. In politics,
it's called a wedge issue,
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147. like illegal immigration
or gay marriage.
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148. Wait a minute.
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149. Can I play them
against each other
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150. so I don't have to do
any homework at all?
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151. You would mess up
Mom and Dad's marriage
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152. just to get out
of doing some homework?
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153. Hey, hey, I would end
all life on this planet
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154. just to get out of
doing fractions.
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155. Fractions aren't that hard.
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156. You just have to find
a common denominator.
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157. For example, one half
plus one third equals...
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158. End... all... life...
on... this... planet!
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159. You'll need to know fractions
to make that explosion!
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160. I don't care.
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161. Oh, so much homework.
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162. Childhood slipping away.
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163. Bart, put down those books
and go play this instant.
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164. If you say so.
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165. Right on time.
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166. Grape soda—
shaken, not stirred.
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167. Let's roll.
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168. Dear Lord, please give
my stubborn husband
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169. the wisdom to see that
I am right as usual.
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170. Too late, Marge.
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171. I already used a prayer block
on your prayer.
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172. There's no such thing
as prayer blocks.
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173. Yeah, right.
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174. Hey, why aren't you
doing your homework?
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175. I said he could
take a break.
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176. The violence
really relaxes me.
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177. You don't get to relax
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178. till you get to the bottom
of this homework stack.
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179. Don't contradict me
in front of our son.
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180. Well, don't be wrong
in front of our son.
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181. Oh, yeah? Well...
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182. Let's have lunch at Crouching
Tiger Hidden Egg roll.
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183. Hmm. No line,
near the men's room.
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184. I see no reason
to question your choice.
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185. Smooth move, Mom,
tricking Dad into having lunch
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186. at the one place
that doesn't serve beer.
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187. What the...? Then I want to eat
at... Moe's Express.
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188. By express, I mean
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189. that you express
your anger and hatred.
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190. The last time
you ate there,
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191. you spent three nights
in the mall jail.
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192. That was last week,
and you're still bringing it up.
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193. Well, you always miss
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194. when you throw your underpants
at the hamper.
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195. Well, how could I ever
hit the hamper
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196. if you don't let me practice?
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197. You practiced all day
on my birthday.
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198. Fine. I was gonna apologize,
but now I'm not going to.
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199. You were never going
to apologize.
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200. I was, too.
The words were in my brain.
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201. You're wrong,
and whenever you're wrong,
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202. you just spout gibberish.
Copy !req
203. Congratulations.
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204. You're officially a sociopath.
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205. Hey, at least
I'm on a path.
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206. I don't mind if you
pee in the shower,
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207. but only if you're
taking a shower.
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208. No freedom.
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209. I have no freedom
around this house.
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210. After sex,
I'm not talking to you.
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211. Well, then there
won't be any sex.
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212. You can't sex fire me,
I sex quit.
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213. Got to stay mad.
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214. The next morning is where
the fight is won or lost.
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215. Freeze him out.
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216. It's cold in Marge's
doghouse, baby.
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217. I just think
when two people disagree,
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218. the big jerk ought to apologize.
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219. You know, Marge,
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220. Maude and I had a fight
right before she died.
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221. Neddy, when you're
drying your hands
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222. with our monogrammed
towels,
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223. can you use the "NF"
towel, not the "MF"?
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224. You know, maybe I should use
a towel marked "BDD"--
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225. big diddily deal.
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226. I play that fight over in
my mind a thousand times a day.
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227. Must win fight. Must win fight.
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228. Let me say to you all,
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229. I'm pretty sure
this is not a dream.
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230. Oh, my God, I killed her.
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231. I've got to apologize.
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232. Once again, sleeping at work
has saved my marriage.
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233. Compromise has no
place in a marriage.
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234. Stick to your guns.
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235. And if he leaves, you'll be free
and happy, like us.
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236. Yes. Happy.
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237. So happy.
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238. Hmm.
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239. I'm going to find my husband.
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240. Don't depress the kids.
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241. That pacifier's the last
true friend you'll have.
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242. Must apologize.
Must apologize.
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243. I'm sorry we
ever fought.
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244. We can't let Bart
drive us apart.
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245. He's the reason
we had to get married.
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246. Till the two of us
are back on track,
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247. Bart can fend
for himself.
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248. Bart? Bart who?
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249. I'm being cute.
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250. It's working.
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251. Put down some flares, boys.
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252. We're gonna be here a while.
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253. Awesome breakfast,
Marge.
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254. Breakfast in bed
is so much better
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255. than breakfast
in a chair.
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256. Mmm. I'm gonna go
paste your heads
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257. back into the
family photos.
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258. I've got them
right here.
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259. Dad, I know you're gonna say no,
but Mom would say...
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260. Whatever.
Knock yourself out.
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261. What do you mean?
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262. You may not realize this, Bart,
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263. but your mother and I have been
fighting about you a lot lately.
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264. And I've realized our marriage
is more important
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265. than your future.
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266. From now on, you're on your own.
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267. Really? Okay.
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268. Uh, Marge?
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269. I don't want
to ruin the moment,
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270. but you got something stuck
between your...
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271. Oh.
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272. Ah, a peaceful
Saturday afternoon,
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273. with no Bart Simpson, and
no Milhouse, for that matter.
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274. Nothing on my agenda but to sit
here and watch hummingbirds.
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275. Sugar water?
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276. Now, why would someone...
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277. Their tiny tongues
are like knives.
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278. Big mistake.
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279. Attacking me outside
school hours and property.
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280. Legally, I can spank
your bare bottoms.
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281. Follow me.
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282. You can't hide forever,
and I'm a very patient man.
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283. I once waited an hour
and a half for a haircut.
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284. Whoa, what is
this place?
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285. Remember that time I was
carried off by groundhogs?
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286. This is where I wound up.
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287. Behold,
an ancient subway station.
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288. I never knew Springfield
had a subway.
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289. It's like a Thomas the Tank
Engine we can go inside.
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290. With no
Sir Topham Hatt
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291. to tell us what we can
and can't do.
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292. Whoa.
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293. Whoa, whoa.
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294. Which flavor do I save—
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295. the Radical Red
or the Blueberry Blast?
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296. Oh, curse this
Squishee's choice.
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297. I love watching you knit.
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298. It reminds me
of watching pictures download
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299. on our old dial-up modem.
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300. Remember that day
we brought it home,
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301. and it was all...
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302. eeee... ooo... eee... ooo.
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303. Oh, my God, Homie, we're
having a real conversation.
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304. Yeah.
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305. Eeee... ooo.
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306. Oh, you won't believe
how I got home.
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307. Don't know,
don't care.
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308. You don't even want to know
if I have anything to do
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309. with this mysterious
seismic activity of late?
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310. Nope.
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311. I'm saving my yelling
for where it does some good.
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312. Lisa! You're a wonderful child!
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313. Keep up
the good work!
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314. Thanks, Dad.
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315. But you're so loud,
it's hurting my ears.
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316. Sorry!
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317. It's weird.
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318. I just made an entire town
lose its lunch.
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319. And?
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320. And I'm not feeling the rush.
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321. Tell me more.
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322. Something's missing.
Am I broken?
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323. Jump with me.
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324. Bart, at the end of the day,
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325. if your parents aren't p.o.'d,
you haven't really pranked.
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326. You got to take it up a notch.
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327. Really?
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328. If no one's getting mad,
are you really being bad?
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329. Think about it.
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330. Wow.
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331. I know.
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332. The tremors are
tearing her apart.
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333. One more shake, and the whole
school could come down.
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334. Seymour, do something.
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335. Destroy the school, eh?
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336. That's what I'm
talkin' about.
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337. Man, those textbooks
really burn.
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338. "Mom and Dad,
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339. "Bart is going
to use the old subway
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340. to destroy
Springfield Elementary."
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341. And there's a map of the
subway system attached.
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342. Homer, we've got
to stop him.
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343. But, Marge, I thought
we were chilling out
Copy !req
344. for the sake
of our marriage.
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345. We're going to have
to be good parents to our son
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346. and work twice as hard
on our marriage.
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347. Fine. I'll do both at once.
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348. We should both take a role
in vacation planning.
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349. Oh, she's coming down.
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350. Oh, Lord,
let me finish this hallway,
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351. then you can send me to hell
a happy man.
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352. Bart!
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353. Oh, there's a nickel.
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354. Destroy. Destroy.
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355. Boy, look at that ironwork.
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356. Well, I'll be.
There's a sofa in here.
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357. It's stuck.
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358. Must... squeeze... harder.
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359. Nah...
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360. Why you little...
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361. Whoo-hoo!
Copy !req
362. The school is saved.
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363. Unfurl the flag.
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364. Mister, you
are grounded.
Copy !req
365. And no TV.
Copy !req
366. And I'm taking all the exciting
colors out of your crayons.
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367. And when you're out of my sight,
you must constantly Twitter me
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368. exactly what you are up to,
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369. even though I don't
know what Twitter is
Copy !req
370. and have no desire
to find out.
Copy !req
371. Ah, you guys
are the meanest parents ever.
Copy !req
372. Thank you.
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373. Life stinks, huh?
Copy !req
374. Totally.
Copy !req
375. Mom said she was tipped off
by a note from me.
Copy !req
376. But you know something?
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377. I didn't write this note.
Copy !req
378. That's ridiculous.
Copy !req
379. If you didn't write it,
who in the world could have?
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380. You wanted to get caught.
Copy !req
381. Really?
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382. How can you be so sure?
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383. Elementary, my dear Simpson.
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384. Leave it to you
to misspell a word
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385. you see first thing
every morning.
Copy !req
386. But don't worry.
Your secret's safe with me.
Copy !req
387. As far as Mom and Dad know,
Copy !req
388. you're just a soulless
little psycho.
Copy !req
389. Thanks, Lis.
Copy !req
390. Anytime.
Copy !req
391. So our family of the future
Copy !req
392. is once again
together and happy.
Copy !req
393. Mom brings Dad
the evening paper...
Copy !req
394. one of six editions
printed daily.
Copy !req
395. Want to know what happened
in China yesterday?
Copy !req
396. Read the paper.
Copy !req
397. And if Mom and Dad
want a little privacy,
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398. Junior can be flash-frozen
until further notice,
Copy !req
399. because this is the most
wonderful world of all—
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400. the world of tomorrow.
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401. Shh!
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