1. D'oh!Copy !req
2. Welcome back to Pigskin Preview!Copy !req
3. - Denver/Green Bay-Who do you like?
- That's football, right?Copy !req
4. Well, I'm gonna take
the Broncos in this game...Copy !req
5. 'cause the Packers will be
blinded byJerry's tie.Copy !req
6. Tremendous.Copy !req
7. I'm more worried
about Al's jacket.Copy !req
8. How many stations
can you get on that thing?Copy !req
9. All right. Listen. I am sick
of your jokes about the wardrobe!Copy !req
10. You people can
dress yourselves!Copy !req
11. Well, folks, he's got a point.Copy !req
12. Uh, with all our unscripted horseplay,
we sometimes don't think about-Copy !req
13. Lenny, are you watching this?Copy !req
14. - Yeah. They really hurt that guy's feelings.
- I know!Copy !req
15. - Ready for the circus, Homer?
- Circus?Copy !req
16. The Cirque de Purée.
We've had tickets since Septembre.Copy !req
17. But I want to
watch Brett Favre!Copy !req
18. Come on, Homer.
They're only in town for eight months.Copy !req
19. - Then they're gone.Copy !req
20. Oh! I missed one ofJerry's zingers.
Now I'll never catch up.Copy !req
21. Mmm!Copy !req
22. Finally, a circus
full of whimsy and wonder.Copy !req
23. Oh, yeah. That's way better
than fun and excitement.Copy !req
24. As French Canadians,
they don't believe in refunds...Copy !req
25. or exploiting animals
for entertainment.Copy !req
26. Oh! I wanted to see 'em fire
a gorilla out of a cannon.Copy !req
27. Enjoy the show.
For one day, we shall die.Copy !req
28. - Ohh!Copy !req
29. Stop! Wait! Wait!
Attendez!Copy !req
30. I cannot get the lid
off my jar of rainbows!Copy !req
31. Who will help me?
You, sir?Copy !req
32. But I cannot help you.Copy !req
33. I am just a local merchant
from, uh, this town.Copy !req
34. Just smash it open!Copy !req
35. Oh, you can do it
if your heart is pure-Copy !req
36. - or... purée.Copy !req
37. They always pick
the guy with the wires.Copy !req
38. Oh, look at those exotic positions.Copy !req
39. Watching those women
is giving me ideas.Copy !req
40. They made an elephant!Copy !req
41. It's hauntingly beautiful, isn't it?Copy !req
42. A storm is coming!Copy !req
43. I feel it in my bone!Copy !req
44. Mesdames et messieurs, it appears
the Cloud Goddess is ripe with rain babies.Copy !req
45. - We must run for our trucks!Copy !req
46. Oh, no, you don't!
I paid full price for this freak show!Copy !req
47. Now, nourish the child
within me!Copy !req
48. - Nourish!Copy !req
49. Un, deux, trois!Copy !req
50. Well, sir,
we've got ourselves a classic nor'easter...Copy !req
51. meeting a classic sou'wester.Copy !req
52. Overnight, expect rain
turning to freezing rain...Copy !req
53. turning to sleet
turning to snow...Copy !req
54. - and then melting in the summer.
- Snow?Copy !req
55. - Maybe they'll cancel school!
- Look. The sea captain's all hunkered down!Copy !req
56. Arr! Help.
I was tied here by teenage pirates.Copy !req
57. The following schools
are closed today: Shelbyville, Ogdenville...Copy !req
58. Ogdenville Tech, and Springfield
Elementary...Copy !req
59. - My Dear Watson Detective School.Copy !req
60. Ohh!Copy !req
61. - And lastly, Springfield Elementary School...
- Yea!Copy !req
62. - Is open.
- Ohh!Copy !req
63. And it's open season on savings at
Springfield Menswear, which is closed.Copy !req
64. - Oh! Everyone's off but us.
- Oh, stop.Copy !req
65. Your father and I
don't get the day off.Copy !req
66. Lenny says we've got the day off!
Yippee!Copy !req
67. One snow angel coming up!Copy !req
68. Huh?Copy !req
69. Oh, why does that
always happen?Copy !req
70. Man. Everyone has
a snow day but us.Copy !req
71. Oh!
They look wonderful!Copy !req
72. Ah! Yeah!Copy !req
73. - Ah, yeah, Clancy.Copy !req
74. Spell your name.Copy !req
75. Uh, hey, Lou, could you shake out
the last few drops for me?Copy !req
76. Yeah,
no problem, Chief.Copy !req
77. Seems like a waste
of coffee, though.Copy !req
78. Children, I'm proud of you.Copy !req
79. Most of our students didn't bother to show
up on this last day before Christmas break.Copy !req
80. But you've kept intact my Cal Ripken-like
streak of school "openage."Copy !req
81. - Hey, where are the teachers?
- Eh, their union just called an emergency caucus.Copy !req
82. But we'll have the last laugh
on thoseJohnny-come-not-lies.Copy !req
83. We're gonna watch my favorite movie
about a Grinch-y little character...Copy !req
84. - who tries to steal Christmas.Copy !req
85. Ho, ho, ho.
What's that, Blitzen?Copy !req
86. Why, yes,
it is Christmas Eve.Copy !req
87. I'm happy.Copy !req
88. - Oh!
- It's the Christmas hobgoblins!Copy !req
89. Ooh!Copy !req
90. What the hell is this?Copy !req
91. It's classic mirth-making, is what it is.Copy !req
92. Oh! He's been singing
for two hours!Copy !req
93. This couldn't have less
to do with Christmas.Copy !req
94. And I think
that's a stagehand.Copy !req
95. Ha-ha!
Next time get a DVD!Copy !req
96. This is a DVD!Copy !req
97. Well, you won't get to see
Santa's big sing-off...Copy !req
98. but seeing as we're close
to the usual dismissal time-Copy !req
99. - two, one- there it is.Copy !req
100. Take off and have a frank
and productive holiday.Copy !req
101. - Oh, dear God!
- Principal Skinner!Copy !req
102. We're snowed in!Copy !req
103. - We're trapped in the school!Copy !req
104. - We're gonna miss Christmas!Copy !req
105. - I fixed the DVD.Copy !req
106. Roads closed. Pipes frozen.Copy !req
107. Albinos virtually invisible.Copy !req
108. The Weather Service has upgraded
Springfield's blizzard...Copy !req
109. from winter wonderland
to a class-three kill storm.Copy !req
110. I don't like the sound
of that "class-three."Copy !req
111. And where are
the city's snowplows?Copy !req
112. Sold off to billionaire
Montgomery Burns...Copy !req
113. - in a veritable orgasm of poor planning.Copy !req
114. - He shoots! He scores!
- Perfect form, sir.Copy !req
115. This is terrible!
How will the kids get home?Copy !req
116. I don't know.
Internet?Copy !req
117. Children, it seems
the phone lines are down...Copy !req
118. so I'm afraid we're stuck
here for the duration.Copy !req
119. - Aww!
- But it's my kid's birthday.Copy !req
120. I'm doing a puzzle with Grandmama,
and she'll finish without me.Copy !req
121. Yes, yes, yes.
We all had plans.Copy !req
122. Except for me, ironically.
I'm right where I want to be.Copy !req
123. I can cut a trail through the snow.
I'm part Eskimo.Copy !req
124. I don't care if you're Kristi Yamaguchi.
No one leaves the building.Copy !req
125. This stinks. We'll miss the Itchy and Scratchy
where they finally kiss.Copy !req
126. I don't care if they're kissing
Kristi Yamaguchi. You're not going home!Copy !req
127. - That's so unfair!
- This blows.Copy !req
128. Skinner's the real Grinch!Copy !req
129. - I'm all for rescuing the kids...Copy !req
130. but I wish you hadn't
sawed off my roof.Copy !req
131. My car, your roof.
It's only fair.Copy !req
132. - B- But it's my car.
- Well, yeah.Copy !req
133. Hey, whatever happened to the plow
from your old snowplow business?Copy !req
134. - I never had a snowplow business.
- Sure, you did. "Mr. Plow."Copy !req
135. You're wearing the jacket
right now.Copy !req
136. I think I know
my own life, Ned.Copy !req
137. I'm so hungry.
I want more.Copy !req
138. You heard the principal.Copy !req
139. Everyone gets one apple
and a handful of relish!Copy !req
140. If you don't eat your relish,
you're not getting any mayonnaise.Copy !req
141. Screw this. The rest of you can stay here
like dorks, but I'm going home.Copy !req
142. - Go, Nelson!Copy !req
143. Well, I hope you've all learned something
from Nelson's "headstrongedness."Copy !req
144. - And from now on-
- We want out!Copy !req
145. We want out!
We want out!Copy !req
146. - We want out!
- Yeesh! It's getting ugly out there.Copy !req
147. Mmm.
Think, Skinner, think.Copy !req
148. What would
Superintendent Chalmers do?Copy !req
149. - Skinner!
- Eh, that's no help.Copy !req
150. Mmm. Ah!
My old footlocker.Copy !req
151. Back in 'Nam,
I could command respect.Copy !req
152. Sarge, let's make a break for it while
the guards are partying with Jane Fonda.Copy !req
153. Nope. Too dangerous. We're all gonna
sit tight and reminisce about candy bars.Copy !req
154. Uh, well, uh, one time, I'm
eating a candy bar at the beach...Copy !req
155. - and a girl starts taking off her bathing suit-
- Get back to the candy bar!Copy !req
156. The hell with this.
I'm gettin' outta here!Copy !req
157. - No, you fool!Copy !req
158. That elephant ate
my entire platoon.Copy !req
159. Well, I'm not gonna let it
happen again!Copy !req
160. - Children, stand down!Copy !req
161. - Huh?
- I said, stand down!Copy !req
162. I'm not joking, people. From now on there will
be no talking out of turn or leaving this room.Copy !req
163. - Willie?
- Aye, sir!Copy !req
164. - This sucks!
- Are you questioning my authority?Copy !req
165. Willie!Copy !req
166. Ow! My vest.Copy !req
167. Don't just stand there. Fight back. There aren't
enough coat hooks to hold all of us!Copy !req
168. Actually there are. Five, 10, 15, 20-
Uh, can you two share a hook?Copy !req
169. - Yes, sir.
- We're fine then.Copy !req
170. - I think we hit something.
- I hope it's Flanders.Copy !req
171. I'm just kidding!
Hey, you're all right.Copy !req
172. Now, children, if you have to answer
nature's call during the night...Copy !req
173. - use this bucket next to Bart's head.
- Hey!Copy !req
174. All right. Lights out.Copy !req
175. - I'm tired of taking orders from G.I. Jerk!Copy !req
176. - I'm gonna tunnel out of here!
- No, Bart.Copy !req
177. For all we know, hundreds of rescue workers
are digging us out right now.Copy !req
178. Catchy song, all right.
You really wrote it?Copy !req
179. Yeah. As a tribute
to Princess Di.Copy !req
180. And Dodi. Because
these days, princesses-Copy !req
181. We're trapped!Copy !req
182. Mr. Army Man? I can't sleep
without my Reggie Rabbit.Copy !req
183. - Is that some sort of plush novelty?
- Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
184. Well, here's a scouring pad.
It's just as good.Copy !req
185. It's cold and hurt-y.Copy !req
186. Uh-What the-Copy !req
187. - Bart's digging us out!Copy !req
188. - Not on my watch he's not!
- Oh, no!Copy !req
189. I know it looks like
the path to freedom.Copy !req
190. But one collapse, and presto-
you've got a snow casket.Copy !req
191. - I was gonna put buttresses in.
- Gonna, wanna, shoulda. Willie, destroy it.Copy !req
192. He did do
a bonny job, sir.Copy !req
193. Defying orders, eh? Well, I see
you Scotsmen are thrifty with courage too.Copy !req
194. Okay, Skinner.Copy !req
195. That's the last time
you'll slap your Willie around.Copy !req
196. - I quit!
- Fine. I'll do the job myself.Copy !req
197. Help!
It's caving in!Copy !req
198. - Oh!
- What's the problem, Seymour? Stuck?Copy !req
199. That's precisely the problem,
and you know it.Copy !req
200. - Now, get me out of here!
- What's that?Copy !req
201. - You want the pee bucket on your head?
- No! You're twisting my words!Copy !req
202. - Come on! We're taking over the school!Copy !req
203. - Come on! We're taking over the school!Copy !req
204. That's it!
Cinch it up around the neck.Copy !req
205. This is a gross misuse of school property.Copy !req
206. - Where are the dodge balls? Ow!Copy !req
207. Ow! Ohh!Copy !req
208. All right.
That's it.Copy !req
209. I'm writing all your names on
the detention list in my mind.Copy !req
210. Silence, Seymour!
We're in charge now.Copy !req
211. Your reign
of fussiness is over.Copy !req
212. Attention.
The school is now under kid control.Copy !req
213. You are hereby ordered
to go nuts!Copy !req
214. Huh?Copy !req
215. - Aw, stupid ice!Copy !req
216. I always knew I would die
caked in something.Copy !req
217. Well, better turn off that engine
before those fumes put us in tombs.Copy !req
218. Wait. Let's just
leave it on...Copy !req
219. till we forget
our troubles.Copy !req
220. Mm, sounds like a plan.Copy !req
221. I can't write this.
It's a grammatical nightmare.Copy !req
222. - Mau! Didi mau!
- I'm getting a cramp in my wrist!Copy !req
223. Oh, boo-hoo.
After all the times I've done it...Copy !req
224. - my wrist sounds like a cement mixer.Copy !req
225. - Ow!
- Come on, Seymour.Copy !req
226. - Mau! Didi mau!
- Ow!Copy !req
227. I told you no one can climb a rope.
It's physically impossible.Copy !req
228. What part of didi mau
don't you understand?Copy !req
229. Nelson, put that globe down!
Milhouse, stay out of my desk!Copy !req
230. Jimbo, that's my Princey Award!Copy !req
231. Quiet, Principal Spinner!Copy !req
232. Hey, I got Skinner's key card!Copy !req
233. We can finally see
our permanent records!Copy !req
234. No! You can't go in there!Copy !req
235. "Underachiever and proud of it."
How old is this thing?Copy !req
236. "Lisa is an outstanding student with a slight
tendency toward know-it-all-ism"?Copy !req
237. That's not even a word!Copy !req
238. Then we'll get rid
of the record permanently!Copy !req
239. Hey, look how much
Skinner makes.Copy !req
240. - Twenty-five thousand dollars a year!
- Wow!Copy !req
241. Let's see. He's 40 years old,
times 25 grand.Copy !req
242. - Whoa! He's a millionaire!
- Wow!Copy !req
243. I wasn't a principal
when I was one!Copy !req
244. Plus, in the summer,
he paints houses!Copy !req
245. - He's a billionaire!
- Wow!Copy !req
246. If I were a billionaire,
why would I be living with my mother?Copy !req
247. Oh, they're just not responding
to logic anymore.Copy !req
248. I'll never win this alone.Copy !req
249. There's only one guy
who can help me now.Copy !req
250. - Look! I'm throwing paper!Copy !req
251. You're my only hope,
Nibbles.Copy !req
252. Godspeed, Nibbles.
Godspeed.Copy !req
253. - Aw, nuts.Copy !req
254. There you are! Falcon to Eagle.
Have located bag of crap.Copy !req
255. If you get me out of this, there's a hall monitor
position coming open in the spring.Copy !req
256. - I spit on your monitors!
- I know. That's why the position's available.Copy !req
257. Marvelous! Marvelous!Copy !req
258. Enough! I grow weary
of your sexually suggestive dancing.Copy !req
259. Bring me my ranch dressing hose!Copy !req
260. Homer? Homer!Copy !req
261. - Homer, wake up! The car's filling with-
- I know. Ranch dressing.Copy !req
262. - A hamster ball!Copy !req
263. Just like the one that saved Ezekiel!Copy !req
264. We're free!
And we've got something to eat!Copy !req
265. - Whoo-hoo!
- Now, let's go save those kids!Copy !req
266. You're the camel!
Hey, this car's got cruise control.Copy !req
267. School, please.Copy !req
268. Homer, that's not how it-Copy !req
269. It's happening.
My horoscope was right!Copy !req
270. So long, Johnny Tremain.
Your Newberry Award won't save you now!Copy !req
271. Not Huck Finn! I spent hours
crossing out the sass-back!Copy !req
272. - We're gonna crash!
- Do you have air bags?Copy !req
273. No! The church opposes them
for some reason!Copy !req
274. - What was that?
- It sounded like a silo tipping over.Copy !req
275. Look!
The snow's melting!Copy !req
276. With a little help from our friend,
sodium chloride!Copy !req
277. - Dad!Copy !req
278. You did it, Nibbles!
Now, chew through my ball sack.Copy !req
279. Huh?Copy !req
280. - Skinner!
- Oh! Superintendent Chalmers!Copy !req
281. What are you doing in that
ridiculous duffel, Seymour?Copy !req
282. And is that burning
literature I smell?Copy !req
283. Uh-
W-W-Well, sir, I, uh-Copy !req
284. There'd better be a good
explanation for this.Copy !req
285. - There is, sir.
- Ah! Then I'm happy.Copy !req
286. Bart, if there's one thing
I'm good at...Copy !req
287. it's pretending
things didn't happen.Copy !req
288. And I think
this is one of those.Copy !req
289. - One of which?
- Exactly.Copy !req
290. No, seriously.
I wasn't listening.Copy !req
291. - One of those situations where-
- Gotcha!Copy !req
292. Come on, kids. Let's leave this
awful place and never come back.Copy !req
293. - Boy, that salt really ate through the car.Copy !req
294. - And the exhaust pipe is leaking.
- Wha-Copy !req
295. And furthermore-Copy !req
296. Ignore her, Effendi.
We have each other.Copy !req
297. - Oh, baby.
- Aah!Copy !req
298. No use struggling,
my beloved Shelamela.Copy !req
299. Merry Christmas
from the Simpsons!Copy !req
300. - Shh!Copy !req