The Simpsons 12x6

Patrick McGoohan as Number 6 (voice) • Marcia Wallace as Edna Krabappel (voice)

Homer decides to buy a computer after turning up to the Plant to find it closed by e-mail. He then creates his own website and it eventually gains attention when he posts gossip. Homer dubs himself as "Mr. X" to conceal his identity. When he reveals that he is Mr. X, he becomes drugged into a mysterious island where people who know too much are imprisoned after Homer starts writing conspiracy theories such as flu shots.

Request examples:

!req The Simpsons 12x6 [02:32]
!req The Simpsons 12x6 [The Simpsons 12x6]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req The Simpsons 12x6 [10-11]; !req The Simpsons 12x6 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. The Simpsons.

2. D-oh!

3. Woof.

4. Hey, open up!

5. I've been standing here all morning.

6. Hey, Homer. What are you doing at work?

7. The plant's closed for fumigation.

8. No one told me the plant was closed.

9. Didn't you get the e-mail?

10. What's an e-mail?

11. It's a computer thing

12. like an electric letter.

13. Or a quiet phone call.

14. I don't have a computer.

15. Too bad. That's why you're at work

16. while we're living it up on our day off.

17. Hey, Karl, turn up the car radio.

18. Why not? Anything goes today.

19. That does it. I'm getting a computer...

20. as soon as somebody lets me out of here.

21. Oh. I'm so stupid.

22. Um, I guess I'll take that one.

23. Do you need a paperweight?

24. Because if you buy that machine that's all you're going to have

25. is an expensive paperweight.

26. Well, a paperweight would be nice

27. but what I really need is a computer.

28. How about that one?

29. Mm-hmm. That technology is three months old.

30. Only suckers buy out-of-date machines.

31. Uh, you're not a sucker, are you, sir?

32. Heavens, no.

33. Oh, good. Because if you were, I'd ask you to leave the store.

34. I just need something to receive e-mail.

35. You'll need a top-of-the-line machine for that.

36. That's the same computer

37. astronauts use to do their taxes.

38. I was an astronaut.

39. Of course you were.

40. $5,000?

41. You only have ten seconds to decide, sir.

42. This is the best computer in the world

43. and always will be, right?

44. Absolutely.

45. Just run the deed to your house through here.

46. You are on your

47. fifth...

48. mortgage.

49. Hey, Lisa.

50. Check out my new computer.

51. Dad, you shouldn't drag that around.

52. That's right, top of the line.

53. Stupid pothole.

54. Don't worry, head.

55. The computer will do our thinking now.

56. Oh, yeah, perfect.

57. Now, then, computer, kill Flanders.

58. Did I hear my name?

59. My ears are burning.

60. Good start.

61. Now finish the job.

62. Oh, you're busy.

63. Catch you later, compu-tater.

64. Oh, $5,000 for a computer

65. and it can't handle a simple assignment.

66. Dad, I'll set up your computer.

67. Why don't you and Bart go play in the backyard?

68. You're it.

69. Why you little!

70. OK, you're ready to go.

71. I've written down the basic commands

72. so that anyone can understand them.

73. Homer,

74. bring that back in the house.

75. Fine.

76. Ooh, it's dancing Jesus.

77. Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee.

78. If there's a better use for the Internet

79. I haven't found it.

80. If you've committed a crime and you want to confess

81. click "yes."

82. Otherwise, click "no."

83. You have chosen "no"

84. meaning you've committed a crime but don't want to confess.

85. A paddy wagon...

86. is now speeding to your home.

87. Hey!

88. While you wait... why not buy a police cap or t-shirt?

89. You have the right to remain fabulous.

90. Here it is, everybody.

91. The world's greatest website.

92. - Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah... - Hello, hello, hello, hello...

93. You'd think all the noises would be annoying

94. but they're not.

95. I got suspended from school today.

96. No kidding?

97. What do you think of my page, Lisa?

98. Be honest.

99. It's great, isn't it? Go ahead

100. and say it's great if you want to.

101. They found a switchblade in my locker.

102. Well, a web page is supposed to be a personal thing.

103. You've just stolen copyrighted material from everyone else.

104. They can sue you for that.

105. I took a swing at a cop.

106. They can't sue me if they don't know who I am.

107. I'll just call myself Mr. X.

108. I'm just mad all the time.

109. Yup, you can't go wrong with Mr. X.

110. Mom wants you to come to bed.

111. I can't. My web page hasn't gotten a single hit.

112. Come on.

113. You have to offer people something...

114. a joke, an opinion, an idea.

115. That lousy pothole.

116. Why don't they fix it?

117. I heard Mayor Quimby spent the street repair fund

118. on a secret swimming pool for himself.

119. - Get out. Who told you that? - Nelson.

120. Ooh, that's the kind of dirt that belongs on my web page.

121. You can't post that on the Internet.

122. You don't even know if it's true.

123. Nelson has never steered me wrong, honey.

124. Nelson is gold.

125. You know, it might have been Jimbo.

126. Beautiful. We have confirmation.

127. Let's see here.

128. X-rated girls... already bookmarked...

129. Dial "X" for sex.

130. Mr. X?

131. Hmm, shall I cross the final frontier?

132. What's this?

133. "Stolen funds?

134. Pothole money used for swimming pool"?

135. There's no emoticon for what I'm feeling.

136. Our Mayor's corrupt?

137. Oh, Mr. X has done this town a great service

138. despite his poor grammar and spelling.

139. Seymour, are you looking at naked ladies?

140. No, Mother.

141. You sissy.

142. What's all this about a secret swimming pool?

143. Uh, well, what secret swimming pool is that?

144. Hey, let's look behind that door.

145. Don't go in there.

146. Good lord, we've discovered the ruins of an ancient city.

147. OK, you do better.

148. I did it.

149. I changed the world.

150. Now I know exactly how God feels.

151. You want turkey sausage or ham?

152. Bring me two of every animal.

153. A new Internet watchdog

154. is creating a stir in Springfield.

155. Mr. X, if that is his real name,

156. has come up with a sensational scoop.

157. Darn tootin'.

158. But we must never forget that the real news

159. is on local TV

160. delivered by real, officially licensed newsmen

161. like me, Kent Brockman.

162. Coming up, how do they get those dogs

163. to talk on the beer commercials?

164. Cowboy Steve will tell you.

165. I'm happy you got the potholes filled

166. but it's still irresponsible to present rumors as facts.

167. Maybe you should quit while you're ahead.

168. No way. Mr. X is going to keep on digging and probing

169. until every person in this town is in jail.

170. Argh! A coconut bagel!

171. Like poison, it tastes.

172. All right, I'll tell you a secret.

173. My bagels are nothing but week-old doughnuts.

174. Aw, who am I to point the finger?

175. I once ran over a guy in a parking lot

176. and dumped the body on a golf course.

177. What a bombshell.

178. In the interest of public safety

179. we have confiscated every doughnut, bagel, cruller

180. and bear claw in the city.

181. And some coffee.

182. This morning, Mr. X reported that your own department...

183. I know, I know, but I assure you the police do not take prisoners

184. out of their cells and race them... anymore.

185. What about using the electric chair to cook chicken?

186. Yeah, uh, this press conference is over.

187. - Wait. I have one more. - No, it's over, Phil. It's over.

188. According to my uncle.

189. Miss Springfield isn't as beautiful as she seems.

190. Word is, she uses appearance-altering cosmetics?

191. - Oh, my God. - That's shocking.

192. The public should be warned.

193. I wish Mr. X were here.

194. Oh, I don't know, Carl.

195. He might be closer than you think.

196. Are you him?

197. - Are you Mr. X? - No.

198. But you talk in that real sly voice.

199. Hey, hey, everybody! Homer's Mr. X.

200. I am not.

201. Or am I?

202. Are you?

203. No!

204. Well, if Mr. X were here right now

205. I'd buy him a tall frosty.

206. Hey, Moe, can you keep a secret?

207. - No. - Not even a little one?

208. - No. - What if I just whisper it?

209. No, I tells you.

210. I've been sitting on the toilet.

211. All the live-long day.

212. Is everything ready for the secret meeting, Smithers?

213. Yes, sir.

214. I hope no one finds out about this.

215. It's pure journalistic dynamite.

216. Uh... sir, this place could be bugged. Shh!

217. OK, now we can talk.

218. Turn it off!

219. Journalistic dynamite.

220. Then it's agreed.

221. I'll supply you terrorists with deadly uranium.

222. You are a credit to the great Satan.

223. Oh, pshaw!

224. I love spying.

225. Oh, don't worry about those fumes.

226. They'll be sucked into that air vent.

227. This place is falling apart.

228. "And who's selling the uranium to the terrorists?

229. Mm-hmm. "Montgomery Burns."

230. Now we wait.

231. Let go of me!

232. I'm innocent.

233. Whoa. He's in trouble.

234. We'd like to award this year's Pulitzer Prize to Mr. X.

235. Unfortunately, we don't know who he is

236. so his cash award will be used to feed starving children.

237. No! Move! Move!

238. I'm Mr. X! Gimme! Gimme!

239. We'll need some proof.

240. Ta-da!

241. He is Mr. X. Hah!

242. Thank you, folks.

243. And now I'm off

244. to expose more secret conspiracies and...

245. Ooh! Oh, I bit my tongue!

246. I'm proud that you won the Pulitzer.

247. Finally.

248. But I do feel bad about the starving children.

249. They're with God now.

250. Oh. Well, that's good.

251. Hey, guys, how's it going?

252. Oh, don't worry about the Mr. X thing.

253. I'm just here for a beer.

254. Uh, I don't know if I want you

255. in here no more, Homer.

256. I got a lot of secrets I'd prefer to keep clandestine.

257. Terrible, disturbing secrets.

258. so hungry.

259. I smell another Pulitzer.

260. Yikes!

261. Well, Helen, as it says in the Bible...

262. I'll tell you later.

263. Oh, nobody's visiting my web page anymore.

264. My counter is actually going down.

265. Well, you can't post news

266. if you don't have any.

267. That's a great idea.

268. I'll make up some news.

269. At least take off your Pulitzer Prize

270. when you say that.

271. Let's see now.

272. "Bulletin... New race discovered

273. living six inches under Denver."

274. Oh, Dad.

275. "All named Morton."

276. Or... "Mortonson."

277. This Mr. X says Spanish and Italian

278. are the same language.

279. Well, that's surprising.

280. They're controlling our minds with flu shots.

281. I knew it.

282. Well, kids, now aren't you glad

283. we don't believe in inoculations?

284. Yeah.

285. Mommy?

286. Hey, Mr. X, I got a tip for you.

287. In science class, they're dissecting frozen hoboes

288. and I have the bindles to prove it.

289. Real news is great, son,

290. but I'm getting 1,000 hits an hour with grade-A bull plop.

291. Give me 100 lotto tickets, Apu,

292. because Mr. X is on a roll.

293. Stop it, Apu.

294. You're scaring me.

295. What's going on?

296. Help! I'm being kidnapped!

297. Whoo!

298. This is not a library. Whoo!

299. Save me, Mr. X!

300. Wait. I'm Mr. X.

301. Huh? Whuzza?

302. What the hell?

303. How did I get here? What is this place?

304. This is the island.

305. How do I get out of here?

306. Oh, no one leaves the island.

307. So I'm a prisoner? How come?

308. Because you know something.

309. But I don't know anything.

310. At least I don't think I do.

311. See you tomorrow.

312. No, you won't!

313. Hello, operator?

314. I'd like to report a really weird island.

315. Please send lots of rescue 'copters to...

316. Oh, well, all right. Whatever.

317. Welcome, friend. I'm Number Six.

318. I'm number 15.

319. What number are you?

320. I am not a number.

321. I am a man

322. and don't you ever...

323. Oh, wait, I'm Number Five.

324. Ha-ha, in your face, Number Six!

325. Yes, well done.

326. Who are all these oddballs?

327. Well, they keep us here because we know too much.

328. Number 27 there knows how to turn water into gasoline.

329. Number 12 knows the deadly secret behind Tic-Tacs

330. and I invented the bottomless peanut bag.

331. Wow!

332. So, who brought us here?

333. I don't know.

334. - Did you bring us here? - No.

335. Don't worry.

336. If even half of your husband is out here.

337. Officer Scraps will find him.

338. Oh, that's a darling name for a dog.

339. Yep, he's on the trail, all right.

340. Better go fish him out, Lou.

341. OK, Chief.

342. Uh, the shoes are part of the uniform.

343. Right, Chief.

344. Oh, they drugged the tea.

345. They knew my one weakness.

346. Hello, Number Five.

347. How's every little thing?

348. Who are you and why are you holding me here?

349. I want answers now or I want them eventually!

350. Fair enough. I'll level with you.

351. Ow. Please, don't do that.

352. - Sorry. - I'll be blunt.

353. Your web page has stumbled upon our secret plan.

354. That's impossible.

355. All my stories are bull plop.

356. Bull plop!

357. Don't be cute.

358. I'm referring to the flu shot expose.

359. You see, we're the ones loading them

360. with mind-controlling additives.

361. But why?

362. To drive people into a frenzy of shopping.

363. That's why flu shots are given just before Christmas.

364. Of course.

365. It's so simple.

366. Wait. No, it's not.

367. It's needlessly complicated.

368. Yes, it is. And we can't have you out there

369. mucking it up, now, can we?

370. No, sir.

371. There's a good boy.

372. Let's get you some ice cream.

373. There we are.

374. Look, you can drug me all you want

375. but my family won't rest

376. till they find my drug-bloated corpse.

377. I wouldn't count on that, Number Five.

378. As far as your family knows.

379. Homer Simpson is walking in the front door

380. right about now.

381. I'm sorry. What?

382. Homie!

383. Marge, honey, fraulein, I'm home.

384. You're not my husband.

385. Jah, please forgive my unexplained two-week absence.

386. To make it up to you

387. we will go out to dinner at a sensibly priced restaurant

388. then have a night of efficient German sex.

389. Well, I sure don't feel like cooking.

390. Aren't there any evil movies on?

391. Maybe something about an evil island?

392. There's something really different about you, Dad.

393. I am a new tie wearing.

394. Oh, yeah.

395. I'm tired of being drugged and gassed.

396. There's got to be a way to escape.

397. Psst.

398. I've worked on this for 33 years.

399. It's made out of toilet paper rolls

400. toothpicks and plastic forks.

401. And the sail is made of scabs and dynamite.

402. It's small and it's smelly

403. but it should carry both of us to...

404. Whoo-hoo!

405. Tha-that's the third time that's happened.

406. Oh, no, an anti-escape orb!

407. Huh. That was easy.

408. Why did you think a big balloon would stop people?

409. Shut up, that's why!

410. Ooh! What a horrible four months!

411. Now to warn everybody.

412. Attention, some crazy creeps on an island somewhere

413. are secretly running the world.

414. - Hey! - Sorry, old chap

415. but you're proving quite the caterpillar

416. in our buttermilk.

417. We're shutting you down.

418. Not a chance.

419. No one can silence me but me.

420. That arranged can be.

421. Wha...?

422. Yes, fight and struggle.

423. If I know me, he won't like being kicked in the crotch.

424. Gott im Himmel!

425. Oh, Marge, it's me, The real Homer.

426. Oh, Homie!

427. Bravo, Number Five.

428. But you know what happens to bad little fishies

429. who wriggle through the net?

430. Can I turn this off?

431. - Absolutely. - Hey!

432. Nice to have you back, Homer.

433. The dog thinks so, too.

434. "The dog thinks..."

435. Bad dog.

436. Once you get used to the druggings

437. this isn't a bad place.

438. Oh, it's wonderful.

439. Truly God's country.

440. See you on the island.

441. Yes, the island.

442. Captioned by Visual Data Media Services