1. D'oh!
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2. Five, four, three, two, one.
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3. Well, that's all the time we have.
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4. - So long, kids!
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5. Krusty the Clown is brought to you...
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6. by the new Gamestation 256.
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7. It's slightly faster... to the max!
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8. 256?
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9. And I'm stuck with this useless 252.
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10. Don't destroy me.
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11. I can still make you happy...
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12. to the max!
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13. Here's a headline forJay.
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14. "Ketchup Truck Hits Hamburger Stand."
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15. Mom, can I have 200 bucks
for a 256-K Gamestation?
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16. - That's less than a dollar a K.
- Oh, I might be able to help you-
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17. - with a song about thrift!
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18. You want money?
Get a job like your old man.
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19. Well, maybe I should.
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20. - So now you're smarter than your old man, huh?
- I guess.
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21. I like your attitude.
Take what you need.
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22. Nice day's work, kid.
This is for you.
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23. You're paying me in hair?
Are you insane?
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24. Man, I need a job.
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25. You need job? I have job for you.
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26. You take these.
You hang Thai menu on door.
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27. I get more business.
Send daughters to small liberal arts college-
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28. Swarthmore, maybe Sarah Lawrence.
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29. Call professors by first name.
Hah!
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30. - Dynamite!
- Hang 'em on the door. Got it.
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31. Or I'll cut you like
a box along the flaps!
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32. You quitter! Quitter boy! Quitter boy!
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33. - I'm sorry.
- Now restaurant fail...
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34. children go to state college.
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35. Serious students powerless
against drunken "jockocracy."
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36. Baseball hats everywhere!
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37. Hey, man, this job is too dangerous.
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38. Menu boy no be coward like shrimp.
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39. Menu boy be brave like prawn.
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40. Menu boy must move
silently like ghost.
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41. Leave no footprint,
only lunch specials.
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42. - Hai!
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43. Hmm?
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44. Well, I never!
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45. Ah! What a waste.
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46. There you go, little fish. Ohh.
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47. Bart, do you know how many trees
died to make those menus?
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48. - I don't know. A million?
- You're ruining the earth!
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49. True, but I "gots" to get paid.
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50. Money was funny, Sister.
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51. Oh, Betty.
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52. Bart, it's so sweet of you to take
the family out to Krusty Burger.
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53. Hey, some people in this family
are doers, and some are "don't-ers."
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54. Don't you call me a- Ugh.
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55. - Take that, Lisa's beliefs!
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56. Oh, how cute!
Kids, look who's on the roof.
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57. I knew this day would come.
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58. The cows are taking back what's theirs.
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59. No. I think they're protestors.
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60. Hey, there are cows on the roof.
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61. I thought my pager was busted.
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62. - Get back in. It's only funny with a small car.
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63. Take down the clown! Take down the clown!
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64. Listen, I'm on your side.
Let's get a dialogue going.
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65. Take out the mother cow.
The rest will follow.
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66. Your corporation cuts down the rain forest...
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67. to create grazing land for cattle.
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68. Oh, for the love of- Gimme that!
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69. - No, you can't!
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70. - Don't worry, honey. They're just firing beanbags.
- Ow!
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71. - Hey, watch it!
- You can't silence the truth with beanbags!
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72. That's nice work
with the "bag-zooka."
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73. Gotta love what you do, Chief.
Mmm, mmm.
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74. - Are you all right?
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75. I've had worse.
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76. - In New Orleans, they hosed us with Tabasco.
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77. Oh, you're so heroic.
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78. All right, cow boy.
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79. I'll see you in "moo-nicipal" court.
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80. - Good one, Chief.
- What? What'd I say?
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81. I can't believe how young he is.
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82. He'd be cute ifhe weren't so idealistic.
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83. - Mmm.
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84. Look, Marge. I'm in a limo.
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85. The Simpsons are goin' to Paris.
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86. The "eco-radical"
group Dirt First...
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87. staged a daring protest
today at Krusty Burger.
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88. Krusty the Clown has issued
the following statement.
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89. "This I don't need."
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90. The group is led
by teenage activistJesse Grass...
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91. a "dreadlocked" dreamboat
whose "Birken stock" is on the rise.
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92. - Boring.
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93. Ah, the Luftwaffe-
The Washington Generals of the History Channel.
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94. Dad, change it back.
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95. - Yeah. That was the boy Lisa likes.
- No, I don't.
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96. Lisa and Jesse sitting in a tree...
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97. - K-l-S-S-l-N-G-
- Shut up.
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98. First comes love, then comes-
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99. Um- Damn it, I know this.
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100. I'd like to visit a prisoner.
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101. - Yeah, sure.
- Aren't you coming with me?
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102. Hey, I get enough flaming toilet paper
thrown on me at home.
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103. Fire in the hole!
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104. - Jesse?
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105. - You do yoga?
- Yeah, but I started before it was cool.
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106. My name's Lisa Simpson.
I think your protest was incredibly brave.
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107. Thank you. This planet needs
every friend it can get.
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108. Oh, the earth is the best.
That's why I'm a vegetarian.
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109. Well, that's a start.
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110. Well, um, I was thinking
of going vegan.
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111. I'm a level-five vegan.
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112. I won't eat anything
that casts a shadow.
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113. Wow. Um-
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114. I started an organic
compost pile at home.
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115. Only at home?
You mean you don't pocket-mulch?
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116. Oh, it's so decomposed.
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117. Do you think I could join Dirt First?
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118. Well, we might have
an opening at the poseur level.
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119. Oh, thank you, thank you.
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120. - Have a good time at your hippie club.
- You're welcome to come too.
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121. No. I like to save
the environment my own way.
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122. Mmm... doughnuts.
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123. I am happy to report we've succeeded
in blocking the St. Patrick's Day Parade...
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124. which, every year,
steps on several lizards.
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125. - Right on!
- Yeah!
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126. Don't celebrate yet.
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127. The mayor had a secret
tree auction last night.
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128. What am I bid...
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129. for the logging rights
to Springfield's oldest redwood tree?
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130. $30,000 to make cages
for animal experimentation.
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131. 50,000 for Thai menus.
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132. Daughter on wait list at Bennington.
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133. 100,000 simoleons...
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134. to make the world's
first drive-through humidor.
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135. Sold to the rich Texan.
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136. Yee-haw!
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137. Whoo, doggies!
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138. Thanks to Caleb for the tape.
How'd you sneak that camera in?
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139. I got my ways.
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140. They can't cut down that sequoia
if one of us is living in it.
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141. - Any volunteers?
- I'll do it.
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142. - I am so there!
- Oh, me, me, me!
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143. Whoa. Hold on. Once you're up there,
you can't come down-
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144. - Not for a Phish concert,
not even for Burning Man.
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145. Well, someone will hear the call...
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146. and whoever does will
have a place in my heart.
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147. Mm-hmm.
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148. Sheesh. Look at these refugees.
How about a smile?
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149. They've undergone
terrible hardships.
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150. Well, moping won't make it better.
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151. Mom, Dad, there's
something I have to do.
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152. You're not gonna like it,
but I really believe it's the right thing.
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153. Marge, she's gonna narc on our stash.
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154. We don't have a stash.
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155. No. Of course not.
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156. Wow.
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157. Oh, I didn't think
it would be so high.
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158. Maybe I could just
circulate a petition.
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159. Oh, I'll show you.
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160. Well, this looks like
a good place to set up camp.
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161. Wow! What a view.
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162. Gentlemen, start your chain saws.
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163. - Not so fast!
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164. - Now, you come down from there, missy!
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165. I won't come down
till you spare this tree.
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166. - Hang in there, Laura!
- It's Lisa!
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167. Right! Lisa. You're hard core.
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168. Oh, he said I was hard core.
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169. Oh-Whoa!
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170. Oh, no! My baby's up there!
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171. It's okay, Mom. I have a safety line.
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172. This is your fault, with your nonthreatening,
Bobby Sherman-style good looks.
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173. No girl could resist your charms.
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174. - This was her choice, Mr. Simpson.
- I'm sorry.
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175. I wasn't listening.
I was lost in your eyes.
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176. All right! A care bucket.
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177. Hot Thai soup!
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178. Oh, Bart!
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179. "Dear Lisa, you rock.
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180. "Mom is calling rescue agencies...
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181. "Dad is building a giant ladder...
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182. "but it is of poor quality.
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183. We miss you. Bart." Aww.
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184. It's day four for Springfield's "li'lest" tree hugger.
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185. Excuse me. That's "littlest" tree hugger.
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186. And whether you love
or hate her politics...
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187. you've gotta go gawk
at this crazy idiot.
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188. - Oh.
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189. Oh, 7:00.
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190. The family's just sitting down to dinner.
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191. - Aww.
- You call that saying grace?
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192. Oh, now they're making popcorn
and hanging Christmas stockings.
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193. And coloring Easter eggs.
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194. Oh, I can't take it.
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195. Would it be so bad
if I just went home for an hour?
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196. Whoa.
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197. Don't worry. I'll be right back.
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198. Ew. Someone's been
marking their territory.
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199. - Hey, everybody. L-
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200. Aww.
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201. I'll just rest here for a minute.
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202. Ahh.
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203. Oh, it's morning! I gotta get back.
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204. Ooh. Oh, no.
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205. Oh, Mom, those loggers
chopped down the tree.
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206. Why did I have to leave my post?
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207. Now, honey, let's turn on the news
and forget our troubles.
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208. Springfield's oldest resident has died.
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209. No, it wasn't Mr. Burns.
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210. It was this majestic old redwood...
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211. which was brutally
cut down last night-
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212. - Not by loggers, but by lightning-
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213. Lightning? Oh!
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214. At least it wasn't my fault.
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215. - Lightning attracted by this metal bucket.
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216. Still unknown is the fate
of tree-sitter Lisa Simpson.
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217. I'm afraid it doesn't look good, Kent.
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218. We found her sleeping bag right here.
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219. Our working theory is
that the lightning exploded her.
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220. - Back to you, Kent.
- You don't get to say that!
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221. Good-bye, Lisa. We'll miss you.
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222. Oh, no! Lisa's gone!
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223. And nothing will bring her back.
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224. - Unless-
- Dad, I'm not dead.
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225. Oh, praise God! You're alive.
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226. - Unless-
- Oh, my.
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227. They made you a shrine.
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228. I loved Lisa Simpson-
Loved her like a shrub.
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229. And I would give anything
to see her sweet face again.
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230. Oh!
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231. But in death, she will do more for our cause
than she ever could have done in life.
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232. Uh-huh. In Texas,
we do tragedy right.
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233. That's why in memory
of that poor little girl...
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234. I'm turning this entire forest
into the Lisa Simpson Wilderness Preserve.
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235. We won, Lisa.
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236. We finally won.
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237. This is for you.
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238. He cut off his favorite dread.
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239. - We have to tell them you're not dead.
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240. No, Mom. It's a memorial forest now.
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241. If I'm alive, they'll cut it down.
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242. You are not pretending
to be dead, young lady.
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243. This family has had nothing but bad luck
when it comes to farce.
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244. - Homer, it's Neddie.
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245. I baked you a little something
to ease the pain.
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246. Oh!
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247. Must hide Lisa!
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248. Come in.
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249. So, Bart, our school policy...
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250. is to give students
in your situation straight A's.
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251. - Get out! What's the catch?
- The tragic loss of your sister.
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252. Ah, yes. Ghastly business, that.
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253. - Grieving father comin' through.
- Homer, uh, booze is on the house...
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254. seeing as how Lisa is, um-
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255. Oh, how do I put this?
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256. Ridin' the midnight train to slab city.
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257. Thanks for the beer, Moe.
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258. But before Lisa died, she made this tape
that I think you should hear.
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259. Dear Moe, if anything should ever happen to me...
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260. I want you to tear up my dad's tab...
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261. and pour cocktail onions-
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262. - Dad, I can't.
- Read it!
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263. Pour cocktail onions down your pants.
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264. Well, I ain't never
said no to a dead girl yet.
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265. And now, Branford Marsalis will play...
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266. using Lisa's very own saxophone.
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267. Don't touch it!
They can clone her from the spit.
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268. - Good luck, Milhouse.
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269. And finally, an exciting announcement...
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270. from our good friends at Omni-Pave.
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271. Folks, last night the dear departed Lisa
came to me in a dream...
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272. and she told me her fondest wish
was that this forest would become...
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273. the world's "rootin'est,"tootin'est,"
"pollutin'est" amusement park!
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274. It was Lisa's dream.
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275. You promised us a nature preserve.
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276. Now, don't you fret.
We're sensitive to all your "eco-concerns."
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277. That's it, boys.
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278. The gift shop will go right there.
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279. Yee-haw! Cut it down!
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280. - No!
- Wha-
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281. A g-g-g-girl!
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282. I'm not dead-And neither
is my sense of moral outrage.
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283. - Oh, here we go.
- Sir, have you no shame?
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284. Clearly, I don't.
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285. Now get your heinie
off of Lisa Land!
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286. A redwood is not a promotional tool.
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287. Good Lord! He's cutting the guy-wires!
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288. Nice work, tree.
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289. Now return to me.
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290. - I don't get it.
- What?
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291. Oh, right- I don't have super powers... just yet.
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292. Sweet. It's headed
for the business district.
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293. Not my company!
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294. No! It was finger Ling-Ling good.
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295. Whoa!
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296. No!
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297. Yee-haw! Score one for the bad guys.
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298. Hey, Lisa.
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299. Aw, Jesse, they locked you up again.
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300. Yeah, but I'm still fighting for the earth.
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301. I even got 'em to install
a solar-powered electric chair.
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302. - Dude, we've been here all morning.
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303. Could you at least
re-moisten my head sponge?
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304. Well, I'll write you letters-
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305. on rice paper with a soy pencil.
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306. - Aw, you're sweet.
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307. - Did they ever stop that log?
- Not yet.
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308. What's up with that?
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309. - Shh!
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