1. D'oh!
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2. Welcome back to
Great Moments in Olympic History.
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3. At the 1936 Berlin Games,
Jesse Owens humiliates Adolph Hitler...
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4. by outracing his zeppelin.
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5. 1968, Mexico City.
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6. Bob Beamon shatters
the world long jump record.
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7. - Ow!
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8. And in 1984,
Portugal's Carlos Lopez...
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9. becomes the oldest Olympic
marathon winner ever...
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10. - at age 38.
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11. Thirty-eight!
That's roughly my age.
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12. Marge, after a lot of thought...
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13. I've decided to run
the Springfield Marathon.
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14. Oh, please. You get exhausted
watching The Twilight Zone marathon.
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15. I'm a regular Billy Crystal.
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16. - You got that right.
- Well, Dad, I think running's good exercise.
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17. - It adds years to your life.
- Stay out of this, Lisa.
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18. Marge, I've made up my mind.
I'll do your job for a day, and you do mine.
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19. Then we'll see who has it tougher.
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20. Good afternoon. And welcome
to the 97th Springfield Marathon...
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21. commemorating the time
Jebediah Springfield...
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22. ran across six states
to avoid his creditors.
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23. You got all your equipment, Dad?
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24. Let's see. Sweatbands, check.
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25. - Anti-chafing nipple tape, check, check, and check.
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26. Attention, runners.
On your mark, get set...
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27. now get outta here
before I change my mind.
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28. I can't believe it.
I'm actually running a marathon!
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29. I hit the wall! This is so painful.
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30. Hey, I got my second wind!
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31. Another wall! I just-
Whoo-hoo! Third wind.
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32. - Faster, rickshaw driver! Faster!
- Ow!
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33. - Sir, the whip isn't helping.
- Silence!
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34. - You call yourself Chinese?
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35. No one can outrun The Flash!
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36. Curses! One of my super foes
has set a trap for me.
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37. - Hey, Grampa's running!
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38. That's not Grampa.
Dad's just dehydrated.
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39. And with 500 yards to go...
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40. the runners from Australia
and Djibouti are neck and neck.
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41. Two weary warriors now burning
with pain and exhaustion.
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42. But only one will win
the grand prize:
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43. A walking tour of Springfield.
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44. That tour is mine.
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45. Well, hold the phone, Dora.
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46. A new challenger has emerged
out of nowhere.
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47. He's running on sheer pluck,
moxie and grit.
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48. All of which he'll be
tested for after the race.
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49. - Hey, I "winna" the race! Viva Italia!
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50. Folks, our winner seems
to be from Italy.
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51. I love-a you all.
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52. I use up all of my English.
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53. Grazie, Springfield!
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54. - He's a phony!
- Lousy cheater!
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55. - I demand are-race!
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56. I got a better idea.
Let's have a fun run... on his trachea.
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57. - Yeah!
- Kill him!
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58. - Make him pay!
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59. - Get in. Hurry!
- Mob, stranger. Mob, stranger.
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60. Stranger!
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61. - Who are you?
- Oh, you'll find out in due time.
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62. Well, it says here
your name is L.T. Smash.
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63. The time has come.
I'm L.T. Smash.
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64. Thank you so much for saving
our son from that murderous mob.
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65. Well, thank you for letting me
chill in your crib.
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66. And thank you
for assuming we're hip.
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67. All right, now here's the 411.
I'm a record producer, see?
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68. I'm starting a new boy band.
And there's a place in it for Bart.
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69. - My Bart?
- Oh, yeah.
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70. That stunt he pulled at the race shows me
he's the bad boy I'm looking for.
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71. - Now listen to me, Smash.
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72. We're not signing anything
unless it's a contract.
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73. Why do you want Bart?
He's not much of a singer.
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74. Marge, it's not the singing
that brings in the Sacagaweas.
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75. Bart's a rebel. And that's what I need
for my new band, the Party Posse.
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76. Now hold on.
I have some concerns.
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77. Please, Mom.
My dream is to be a rock star!
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78. - And my dream is to get rid of Bart.
- But-
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79. - How many lives must you ruin?
- Oh, okay.
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80. Bart, I want you to meet and greet
the other members of the Party Posse.
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81. He's smart, he's soulful...
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82. - he's Milhouse.
- What up, "G" Money?
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83. Next, he'll break your nose,
your glasses and your heart.
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84. - Nelson.
- Wait. These are just guys from school.
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85. Who's next? Ralph Wiggum?
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86. Whee! I'm a pop sensation.
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87. And I'm the mack daddy
behind such groups as...
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88. New Kids in the Ditch
and Boy-nudo.
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89. I'm gonna make you stars.
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90. And grab yourself right there.
Now let's go and flirt.
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91. - You call that a flirt? I'm not melting!
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92. Okay. 'Tudes are fly
and your threads are dope.
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93. All that's left is the singing.
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94. "Party Posse,
we rule the earth.
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95. The greatest band
since music's birth"?
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96. Isn't this song a little boastful?
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97. No one told me there
was gonna be boasting.
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98. Ew!
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99. - Thank you, NASA.
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100. So from now on, anything
caught in your zipper...
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101. will be handled
by the school nurse and not me.
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102. And now, are you adequately
prepared to rock?
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103. - Silence!
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104. Here they are, the Party Posse!
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105. Hello, Springfield!
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106. Now here's a song that your
Principal Skinner doesn't want us to play.
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107. Boo!
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108. That's not true.
This assembly was my idea.
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109. I like your brand
of inoffensive pop rock.
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110. Screw you, man!
We're gonna play it anyway.
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111. - Hmph!
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112. Man, they're gonna be big.
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113. And you stood in their way.
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114. No, I didn't. I even came in early
and made orange drink.
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115. Orange drink? What?
Do you live with your mama?
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116. She lives with me.
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117. I can't believe it.
They loved us!
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118. I'm wearing a bathrobe
and I'm not even sick.
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119. Yo, dudes, awesome show!
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120. It's N'Sync!
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121. - Word!
- What brings you to Springfield?
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122. We saw your band formation
notice in the paper.
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123. Really?
You saw our B.F. N?
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124. I can't believe
I'm meeting Milhouse. Word!
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125. - So anyway, we brought you
this wicked gift basket.
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126. - Stubble glitter, a crowd Taser.
- Crowd Taser?
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127. Yeah. It's perfect for getting
through the fans to your limousine.
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128. - Ow! Yo!
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129. Dudes, we gotta go.
Our clothes are getting a little out-of-date.
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130. - To the Bandana Republic!
- Word!
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131. Now we gotta send them a basket.
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132. Oh, yeah. That's the spot.
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133. That is perfect.
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134. Mom, can't Bart get his massage
somewhere else?
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135. Don't be selfish, Lisa.
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136. Will you two shut up?
I'm missing precious V.J. Prattle!
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137. - Whoo! That was the latest ad
for Stridex Pads, medicated.
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138. Okay, coming at ya,
a world premiere video from "P" Squared.
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139. That's the Party Posse!
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140. Whoo! Yeah! All right!
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141. Rock! Whoo!
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142. - Party Posse!
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143. You gotta love that crazy chorus.
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144. - What does it mean?
- It doesn't mean anything.
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145. It's like "rama lama ding dong"
or "give peace a chance."
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146. There's something weird about this video.
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147. None of those girls has had three kids,
I can tell you that.
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148. No. Something else.
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149. "Yvan eht nioj. '" They keep saying that.
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150. Wait. What was that?
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151. Uncle Sam?
Let me play this backwards.
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152. - Join the navy.
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153. They're recruiting people
with subliminal messages.
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154. Otto, what are you doing?
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155. I don't know. I just got
an urge to join the navy.
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156. You're being brainwashed!
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157. Yeah, probably.
"Yvan eht nioj."
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158. L.T., thank God you're here!
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159. The government's putting
subliminal messages in your videos!
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160. Subliminal messages?
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161. Do you have any idea
how insane that sounds?
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162. - Is that a navy tattoo?
- A navy tattoo?
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163. Do you have any idea
how insane that sounds?
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164. Lieutenant Smash!
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165. Yeah, that's right.
Lieutenant L.T. Smash.
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166. A wig! But-
But your pant legs.
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167. How could you soil
the good name of Star Blitzzz Promotions?
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168. Oh, come on, Lisa. We've always
used pop stars to recruit people.
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169. Going back to Elvis.
Then there was Sgt. Pepper's...
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170. the Captain & Tennille,
and the Kiss army.
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171. But you have recruiting ads on TV.
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172. Why do you need
subliminal messages?
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173. It's a three-pronged attack.
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174. Subliminal, liminal,
and super liminal.
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175. - Super liminal?
- I'll show you.
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176. Hey, you! Join the navy!
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177. - Uh, yeah, all right.
- I'm in.
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178. Well, now that you know, Lisa...
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179. I'm afraid I can't let you leave.
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180. Oh.
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181. Wait a minute.
Bart's band is brainwashing kids...
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182. with subliminal messages?
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183. That's pretty far-fetched, Lisa.
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184. Are you sure someone hasn't been
bitten by the jealousy bug?
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185. Here comes the jealousy bug!
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186. - Gonna get ya! Gonna get ya!
- Hey! Stop!
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187. Cut it out.
You're a grown man.
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188. I want to go home now.
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189. Nobody's going home!
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190. We're going to see Bart's concert.
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191. An aircraft carrier?
Oh, that's subtle.
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192. Good afternoon, and welcome
to the U.S.S. Sea Spanker!
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193. - Are you ready to tear it up?
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194. - I can't hear you.
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195. Do you maggots
want to see a show or not?
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196. - I mean, uh-
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197. Here they are!
The Party Posse!
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198. Ow! Hot, hot, hot!
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199. - Everybody ball walk!
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200. Oh, yeah!
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201. Looking good, guys.
And... double time!
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202. That's it.
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203. Protect the country.
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204. - Groovy, dude.
- Burn down the barbershops!
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205. I hate America!
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206. Lieutenant! Lieutenant Smash!
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207. Huh? Oh, Admiral. Hup!
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208. - The hippie fantasy again?
- They're getting less frequent, sir.
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209. Excellent.
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210. Well, there's no easy way to say this.
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211. The new administration
is shutting down Project Boy Band.
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212. Shutting it down?
Permission to say "that's crazy," sir?
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213. You won't say it's crazy when
you see next week's issue of Mad magazine.
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214. Oh, dear God.
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215. When this satirical bombshell
hits the stands tomorrow...
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216. your band will have as much recruiting power
as a wax apple.
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217. - I don't follow, sir.
- It's over, L.T.
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218. I'm outta here.
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219. You fool!
Look what you've done!
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220. Well, now it's my turn.
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221. - Don't do it, L. T!
- You leave me no choice!
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222. No!
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223. No!
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224. - So, what songs did I miss?
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225. - Dad, L.T.'s gone crazy!
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226. Yeah. That's the look.
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227. Think he's gonna
do something dangerous?
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228. How should I know?
Just keep loading missiles.
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229. Pop music's hard work.
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230. The Statue of Liberty?
Where are we?
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231. All right, Posse, that's our target.
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232. Not Mad!
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233. That's our nation's largest mental
illness-themed humor magazine!
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234. - Why don't we call it "Everybody Hates Raymond?"
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235. Well, we stayed up all night,
but it was worth it.
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236. We can't let L.T. Blow up Mad!
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237. Tina Brown was just starting
to turn it around.
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238. - We gotta mellow him out!
- But how? We would need
the ultimate chill-out song.
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239. - And fast!
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240. - We heard what you said.
- Yeah! Heard it old school.
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241. It's N'Sync!
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242. Can the chitchat, Milhouse. We've got just the song
you need to defuse this whack attack.
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243. - Defuse it old school.
- 'Bout time.
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244. - Radical!
- Awesome!
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245. - I can't read.
- I can't sing without dancing.
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246. Fine!
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247. Thrust, spin, turn.
Pivot, pout, jiggy.
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248. Jiggy, robot, do-si-do.
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249. And close with a Matrix.
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250. Nobody pouts going into a jiggy.
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251. - Yeah. That's stupid.
- I want to twirl!
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252. Aw, come on, guys.
We've only got a few minutes. Uh-oh.
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253. - Everybody okay?
- Uh, yeah.
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254. - Yeah. I'm fine. Thanks.
- I actually feel better.
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255. Well, boys, the Party Posse is over.
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256. But at least I saved you
from a public spoofing.
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257. Aw, man. We could've been
on the cover of Mad.
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258. They called me "Smelson!"
Ha-ha!
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259. Smelson.
It's funny 'cause you smell.
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260. Smelson.
I could've thought of that.
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261. Sure ya could've. Off ya go now.
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262. You know, we've had a lot of fun tonight
at the expense of the U.S. Navy.
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263. But they're out there every day
protecting us from Godzilla.
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264. - And don't forget pirates.
- And jellyfish.
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265. Those whack invertebrates
will sting you, old school!
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266. So check out the navy
for a two- or a four-year hitch.
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267. - We signed J.C. Up yesterday.
- What?
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268. No-o-o!
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269. It's N'Sync!
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270. D'oh! I can't believe
I'm meeting Milhouse.
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271. Yeah! Heard it old school!
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272. No-o-o!
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273. - Bart was so cool.
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274. - Little short. He's about this tall.
- Don't print that.
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275. - Word.
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276. - It just sounds like something I would say.
- Shh!
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